Totally Spies! (2001–2014): Season 1, Episode 4 - Stuck in the Middle Ages with You - full transcript
The spies chase a villain back into the past to stop him from using modern technology to change history.
♪ Here we go, we're getting
on the road till we stop ♪
♪ And then we'll shop ♪
♪ So one, two, three, now, baby,
here we go, go, go ♪
♪ Here we go, here we go ♪
♪ On a mission undercover
and we're in control ♪
♪ Here we go, here we go ♪
♪ We're Totally Spies
so get on with the show ♪
♪ Here we go, here we go ♪
♪ Here we go ♪
(horse neighing)
(screams)
So, what do you think?
Ooh, that would be
a great shade of eyeshadow.
Clover, we're not cruising
the cosmetic counter at the mall.
This is a science lab,
and I want to get an A.
Well, here's something that's sure
to rate an A-plus on the social scale.
- Cool, a Halloween party!
- With a costume contest!
And a first-place cash prize worth three
totally cool outfits from the mall.
I hate to squash your hopes, girls,
but I'll be winning that contest
hands down.
Not with that costume, you won't.
Excuse me? What costume?
Oh. Aren't you dressed
as a wannabe teen queen today?
Or were they having a sale
on "so two years ago" at the mall?
(growls)
Yay!
Alex, quick!
(all scream)
Hello. That must have been a real blast.
Now, let's get started.
A renowned scientist was abducted from
a U.S. military lab late last night.
(gasps) Where'd that weirdo
in the hood come from?
JERRY: That has yet to be determined.
The scientist's kidnapping is the third
in a string of strange abductions.
Who else was kidnapped?
A military general and a surveillance
expert, all from the same facility.
Jer, the girls and I are in a bit
of a rush to get to the mall
and scam some great Halloween costumes.
Can we skip the details and get right
to the part about the mission?
Very well.
Figure out how and why
this hooded horseman is abducting
these military experts.
Then stop him.
So much for the costume contest.
Yeah, looks like we'll have to put
our dreams of beating Mandy on pause.
I can multi-task.
Inside, you'll find your gadgets.
Pogo bounce sandals, laser heat
curling irons, all-weather umbrellas,
head-for-cover hover boards, a mighty
fine expandable mascara brush,
and last, but not least,
cat fight gloves with retractable claws.
Now, there's a gadget made for Mandy.
Don't forget to say "Geronimo."
(all scream)
Geronimo.
For the past year,
our team has been perfecting
a high-tech, cutting-edge laser beam
for the military.
It's an Electronic Nullification Device,
otherwise known as "the E.N.D."
Cool! I mean... how interesting.
We've examined the surveillance tape.
Whoever took your colleague
took the E.N.D. as well.
If it's the E.N.D. they were after,
they'll be mighty disappointed.
The E.N.D. can only be controlled
by this detonator.
Without it, the E.N.D. is useless.
(horse neighing)
Look out!
(screams)
Not so fast, horse boy!
(all scream)
What happened? Where are we?
I don't think
we're in Beverly Hills anymore.
Oh, no.
You don't think we're in the... Valley?!
(all gasp)
You guys, he's getting away!
Here. Collateral.
(shrieks)
Bad horsey.
Help!
I'm being plundered by evil witches!
ALL: Huh?
(mob shouts)
We're not witches.
We're from Beverly Hills.
'Tis our duty to our beloved king
to rid the empire of evil witches.
We're not familiar
with these hills of which you speak.
(mob shouts)
Be right back!
Who are these people?
Apparently Halloween came early
this year.
(both scream)
- That didn't go exactly as planned.
- At least we lost those goons.
Let's use our pogo bounce sandals
to get out of here and find Clover.
- (compowder ringing)
- Whoa. Whoa. Stop!
Hello?
Hello? Jerry? Where are we?
Hold on. I'm doing a global positioning
search to pinpoint your location.
Oh, this doesn't look right.
My data says you're in
medieval England, circa 1136 A.D.
What?! Wait a second.
A hooded horseman, talk of witches,
and people who've never heard
of Beverly Hills?
Of course,
we're stuck in the middle ages.
Oh, my.
Jerry, how are we gonna get back?
We don't even know how we got here!
I'm working on it, Clover.
Please hurry, Jerry. We want out of this
Dungeons and Dragons nightmare, asap.
Clover? Are you there?
I can't hear you.
Jerry! Wait! Come back!
I'm supposed to be at a party tonight.
There's a big difference
between fashionably late and M.I.A.
Giddy up.
Uh-oh. Where's a girl's knight
in shining armor when she needs one?
(shouts)
Ouch! Oozing and clumping?
"Mighty fine," my butt!
A little mascara can go a long way.
- Don't those freaks ever give up?
- Quick! Hide!
(all gasp)
- There's two of the thieves!
- Stop them!
(both scream)
- You got the wrong people!
- It's not us!
- Where are you taking us?
- Let us go!
Did you really expect to get away
with stealing from our beloved king?
I've never stolen anything, except maybe
second base in co-ed baseball.
We'll teach you that thievery will not
be tolerated in this kingdom.
Why do I get the feeling
this is only going to get worse?
(both scream)
SAM: Quick! Our laser heat curling irons
can melt the chains!
MAN: There they are!
MOB: Destroy the witches!
Destroy the witches!
I hope Clover's having more luck
than we are.
Must be one of those high-tech dungeons.
(gasps) What the...
So that's how he gets back through time.
Put them in the cell with the others.
Oopsy.
Let me go!
I've never seen anyone quite like you.
Well, you probably don't hang out
on Rodeo Drive much.
- (gasps)
- You're right.
I'm more of a Malibu kind of guy.
I take it you're not from around here.
A fashion sense and intelligent.
When I become king,
you'll make a great queen.
- Queen?
- Yes!
You see, I come
from a royal lineage of kings,
and thanks to a goody-goody king
from the middle ages,
my family lost their throne
and their wealth.
- I'm sorry to hear that, but...
- I don't need your pity.
With crystals
and ground-breaking weapons,
I've come back from the future
to knock him off his throne
and change the course of history.
And you will be my queen.
Ew. OK, now you're starting to get
all kinds of creepy.
What are you doing?
I'm going to use the E.N.D.
to destroy the King's castle,
reclaim my destiny and then...
(laughs evilly)
- ...take over the world!
- Whatever.
(all scream)
I've heard of acid rain,
but not fire rain.
Yeah. I hope when Jerry said all-weather
umbrellas, he meant all weather!
For a guy that's snagged
a zillion weapons from the future,
you never considered adding an SUV
to your collection?
BOTH: Clover?
Charge!
ALEX: Sam, we've got to do something
to save Clover.
The Horseman's put some sort
of high-tech force field around them.
(footsteps)
(gasps) Help! Is someone there?
- (gasps)
- Wow!
Curb it!
Hand over the crown,
or I'll destroy the rest of the castle,
the entire village and you.
(laughs) You're no match for me.
Now surrender.
A king isn't made by sophisticated
weaponry and intimidation.
A king is made
by the people who follow him.
And no one will follow you.
Yeah, whatever, pal. Just hand over
the crown or I'll toast you.
Um, if you're done with me,
I'll be leaving now.
Guards! Take him to the dungeon.
And move my equipment
and the others to our new home.
Not so fast, Queenie.
I have a more fitting prison for you.
We might not have a glowing
protection shield, but these should do.
Gotcha!
That dress looks lovely on you.
It looks like something from the bargain
bin. And it smells like it, too.
You're gonna need to lose the attitude,
babe.
My queen is all about obedience.
Perfect.
You won't get away
with ruling this kingdom.
(laughs) The kingdom?
With these weapons,
I'm gonna rule the entire world.
And when I get back to the future,
I'll be worth billions.
These tin can dresses are harder
to walk in than my six-inch platforms.
Oopsy!
Ouch!
Close call.
Yeah. Looks like a surveillance room.
(gasps) Clover!
Just go away. Leave me alone.
Clover, it's us!
Oh, you have no idea
what I've been going through.
This guy wants me to learn to play
the harp, embroider silk tapestries
and eat peacock.
I'm guessing he's got an even more
despicable plan up his sleeve.
Believe me, he does.
He wants to make me his queen.
And...?
He's using crystals to time travel
to the past and change it
so he can go back to the present
and take over the world.
So what do we do to stop him?
CLOVER: Apparently his crystals
control everything.
If we can get to them
and destroy his equipment, he's toasted.
Let's see what Jerry thinks.
The number's no longer in service.
- What?
- Jerry's gone. And WOOHP's gone, too.
If WOOHP's gone, that means
when the Horseman changed the past,
it triggered a chain reaction
and changed the future.
Oh, no. That means Beverly Hills
doesn't exist anymore either!
We've got to change it back,
or I have no chance of
beating Mandy in that Halloween contest.
You really can multi-task.
SAM: Let's go. We've no time to lose.
This should do the trick.
They make this look a lot easier on TV.
Got it.
- Make sure you get the E.N.D.
- Where is it?
There it is!
ALL: Geronimo!
This kingdom is mine!
CLOVER: Not if we have
anything to say about it.
We've got to destroy the E.N.D.
before it destroys everything else.
He's coming this way!
OK, girls. Time to hover.
(screaming)
Come on. We've got one more thing to do
if we want to get back to the future.
Sam! Alex! Behind you!
Take that.
BOTH: And for you...
Whoa! Let me go!
No chance of that happening
in this century, or any other.
The crown is back where it belongs.
The witches have taken over the kingdom!
Get her!
Halt! These girls are not witches.
The crystals, Clover! Use the crystals!
- Jerry! You're here!
- Everything's back to normal.
And the case is solved.
Well done, spies.
I wonder if I'll ever get to see
that cute king again.
ANNOUNCER: Second place goes to Arnold,
as the Periodic Table of Elements.
Get ready. We're next!
And first place goes to...
Mandy, as a Beverly Hills style Witch.
(laughs)
I can't believe it. There's
so many people I'd like to thank.
First, myself for always being
there for me.
Second, um...
myself for thinking this up.
I demand a recount!
You two are the judges?
No one likes a sore loser, Clover.
Your costumes just aren't
authentic enough.
Forget it, Clover.
These two Mandy clones know
nothing about authenticity.
Could this day get any worse?
Actually, I think
it just got a whole lot better.
Wow!
- Hey. Wanna dance?
- I'd love to.
You'd think she'd be over kings by now.
Who knows, Sammy?
They say third time's a charm.
on the road till we stop ♪
♪ And then we'll shop ♪
♪ So one, two, three, now, baby,
here we go, go, go ♪
♪ Here we go, here we go ♪
♪ On a mission undercover
and we're in control ♪
♪ Here we go, here we go ♪
♪ We're Totally Spies
so get on with the show ♪
♪ Here we go, here we go ♪
♪ Here we go ♪
(horse neighing)
(screams)
So, what do you think?
Ooh, that would be
a great shade of eyeshadow.
Clover, we're not cruising
the cosmetic counter at the mall.
This is a science lab,
and I want to get an A.
Well, here's something that's sure
to rate an A-plus on the social scale.
- Cool, a Halloween party!
- With a costume contest!
And a first-place cash prize worth three
totally cool outfits from the mall.
I hate to squash your hopes, girls,
but I'll be winning that contest
hands down.
Not with that costume, you won't.
Excuse me? What costume?
Oh. Aren't you dressed
as a wannabe teen queen today?
Or were they having a sale
on "so two years ago" at the mall?
(growls)
Yay!
Alex, quick!
(all scream)
Hello. That must have been a real blast.
Now, let's get started.
A renowned scientist was abducted from
a U.S. military lab late last night.
(gasps) Where'd that weirdo
in the hood come from?
JERRY: That has yet to be determined.
The scientist's kidnapping is the third
in a string of strange abductions.
Who else was kidnapped?
A military general and a surveillance
expert, all from the same facility.
Jer, the girls and I are in a bit
of a rush to get to the mall
and scam some great Halloween costumes.
Can we skip the details and get right
to the part about the mission?
Very well.
Figure out how and why
this hooded horseman is abducting
these military experts.
Then stop him.
So much for the costume contest.
Yeah, looks like we'll have to put
our dreams of beating Mandy on pause.
I can multi-task.
Inside, you'll find your gadgets.
Pogo bounce sandals, laser heat
curling irons, all-weather umbrellas,
head-for-cover hover boards, a mighty
fine expandable mascara brush,
and last, but not least,
cat fight gloves with retractable claws.
Now, there's a gadget made for Mandy.
Don't forget to say "Geronimo."
(all scream)
Geronimo.
For the past year,
our team has been perfecting
a high-tech, cutting-edge laser beam
for the military.
It's an Electronic Nullification Device,
otherwise known as "the E.N.D."
Cool! I mean... how interesting.
We've examined the surveillance tape.
Whoever took your colleague
took the E.N.D. as well.
If it's the E.N.D. they were after,
they'll be mighty disappointed.
The E.N.D. can only be controlled
by this detonator.
Without it, the E.N.D. is useless.
(horse neighing)
Look out!
(screams)
Not so fast, horse boy!
(all scream)
What happened? Where are we?
I don't think
we're in Beverly Hills anymore.
Oh, no.
You don't think we're in the... Valley?!
(all gasp)
You guys, he's getting away!
Here. Collateral.
(shrieks)
Bad horsey.
Help!
I'm being plundered by evil witches!
ALL: Huh?
(mob shouts)
We're not witches.
We're from Beverly Hills.
'Tis our duty to our beloved king
to rid the empire of evil witches.
We're not familiar
with these hills of which you speak.
(mob shouts)
Be right back!
Who are these people?
Apparently Halloween came early
this year.
(both scream)
- That didn't go exactly as planned.
- At least we lost those goons.
Let's use our pogo bounce sandals
to get out of here and find Clover.
- (compowder ringing)
- Whoa. Whoa. Stop!
Hello?
Hello? Jerry? Where are we?
Hold on. I'm doing a global positioning
search to pinpoint your location.
Oh, this doesn't look right.
My data says you're in
medieval England, circa 1136 A.D.
What?! Wait a second.
A hooded horseman, talk of witches,
and people who've never heard
of Beverly Hills?
Of course,
we're stuck in the middle ages.
Oh, my.
Jerry, how are we gonna get back?
We don't even know how we got here!
I'm working on it, Clover.
Please hurry, Jerry. We want out of this
Dungeons and Dragons nightmare, asap.
Clover? Are you there?
I can't hear you.
Jerry! Wait! Come back!
I'm supposed to be at a party tonight.
There's a big difference
between fashionably late and M.I.A.
Giddy up.
Uh-oh. Where's a girl's knight
in shining armor when she needs one?
(shouts)
Ouch! Oozing and clumping?
"Mighty fine," my butt!
A little mascara can go a long way.
- Don't those freaks ever give up?
- Quick! Hide!
(all gasp)
- There's two of the thieves!
- Stop them!
(both scream)
- You got the wrong people!
- It's not us!
- Where are you taking us?
- Let us go!
Did you really expect to get away
with stealing from our beloved king?
I've never stolen anything, except maybe
second base in co-ed baseball.
We'll teach you that thievery will not
be tolerated in this kingdom.
Why do I get the feeling
this is only going to get worse?
(both scream)
SAM: Quick! Our laser heat curling irons
can melt the chains!
MAN: There they are!
MOB: Destroy the witches!
Destroy the witches!
I hope Clover's having more luck
than we are.
Must be one of those high-tech dungeons.
(gasps) What the...
So that's how he gets back through time.
Put them in the cell with the others.
Oopsy.
Let me go!
I've never seen anyone quite like you.
Well, you probably don't hang out
on Rodeo Drive much.
- (gasps)
- You're right.
I'm more of a Malibu kind of guy.
I take it you're not from around here.
A fashion sense and intelligent.
When I become king,
you'll make a great queen.
- Queen?
- Yes!
You see, I come
from a royal lineage of kings,
and thanks to a goody-goody king
from the middle ages,
my family lost their throne
and their wealth.
- I'm sorry to hear that, but...
- I don't need your pity.
With crystals
and ground-breaking weapons,
I've come back from the future
to knock him off his throne
and change the course of history.
And you will be my queen.
Ew. OK, now you're starting to get
all kinds of creepy.
What are you doing?
I'm going to use the E.N.D.
to destroy the King's castle,
reclaim my destiny and then...
(laughs evilly)
- ...take over the world!
- Whatever.
(all scream)
I've heard of acid rain,
but not fire rain.
Yeah. I hope when Jerry said all-weather
umbrellas, he meant all weather!
For a guy that's snagged
a zillion weapons from the future,
you never considered adding an SUV
to your collection?
BOTH: Clover?
Charge!
ALEX: Sam, we've got to do something
to save Clover.
The Horseman's put some sort
of high-tech force field around them.
(footsteps)
(gasps) Help! Is someone there?
- (gasps)
- Wow!
Curb it!
Hand over the crown,
or I'll destroy the rest of the castle,
the entire village and you.
(laughs) You're no match for me.
Now surrender.
A king isn't made by sophisticated
weaponry and intimidation.
A king is made
by the people who follow him.
And no one will follow you.
Yeah, whatever, pal. Just hand over
the crown or I'll toast you.
Um, if you're done with me,
I'll be leaving now.
Guards! Take him to the dungeon.
And move my equipment
and the others to our new home.
Not so fast, Queenie.
I have a more fitting prison for you.
We might not have a glowing
protection shield, but these should do.
Gotcha!
That dress looks lovely on you.
It looks like something from the bargain
bin. And it smells like it, too.
You're gonna need to lose the attitude,
babe.
My queen is all about obedience.
Perfect.
You won't get away
with ruling this kingdom.
(laughs) The kingdom?
With these weapons,
I'm gonna rule the entire world.
And when I get back to the future,
I'll be worth billions.
These tin can dresses are harder
to walk in than my six-inch platforms.
Oopsy!
Ouch!
Close call.
Yeah. Looks like a surveillance room.
(gasps) Clover!
Just go away. Leave me alone.
Clover, it's us!
Oh, you have no idea
what I've been going through.
This guy wants me to learn to play
the harp, embroider silk tapestries
and eat peacock.
I'm guessing he's got an even more
despicable plan up his sleeve.
Believe me, he does.
He wants to make me his queen.
And...?
He's using crystals to time travel
to the past and change it
so he can go back to the present
and take over the world.
So what do we do to stop him?
CLOVER: Apparently his crystals
control everything.
If we can get to them
and destroy his equipment, he's toasted.
Let's see what Jerry thinks.
The number's no longer in service.
- What?
- Jerry's gone. And WOOHP's gone, too.
If WOOHP's gone, that means
when the Horseman changed the past,
it triggered a chain reaction
and changed the future.
Oh, no. That means Beverly Hills
doesn't exist anymore either!
We've got to change it back,
or I have no chance of
beating Mandy in that Halloween contest.
You really can multi-task.
SAM: Let's go. We've no time to lose.
This should do the trick.
They make this look a lot easier on TV.
Got it.
- Make sure you get the E.N.D.
- Where is it?
There it is!
ALL: Geronimo!
This kingdom is mine!
CLOVER: Not if we have
anything to say about it.
We've got to destroy the E.N.D.
before it destroys everything else.
He's coming this way!
OK, girls. Time to hover.
(screaming)
Come on. We've got one more thing to do
if we want to get back to the future.
Sam! Alex! Behind you!
Take that.
BOTH: And for you...
Whoa! Let me go!
No chance of that happening
in this century, or any other.
The crown is back where it belongs.
The witches have taken over the kingdom!
Get her!
Halt! These girls are not witches.
The crystals, Clover! Use the crystals!
- Jerry! You're here!
- Everything's back to normal.
And the case is solved.
Well done, spies.
I wonder if I'll ever get to see
that cute king again.
ANNOUNCER: Second place goes to Arnold,
as the Periodic Table of Elements.
Get ready. We're next!
And first place goes to...
Mandy, as a Beverly Hills style Witch.
(laughs)
I can't believe it. There's
so many people I'd like to thank.
First, myself for always being
there for me.
Second, um...
myself for thinking this up.
I demand a recount!
You two are the judges?
No one likes a sore loser, Clover.
Your costumes just aren't
authentic enough.
Forget it, Clover.
These two Mandy clones know
nothing about authenticity.
Could this day get any worse?
Actually, I think
it just got a whole lot better.
Wow!
- Hey. Wanna dance?
- I'd love to.
You'd think she'd be over kings by now.
Who knows, Sammy?
They say third time's a charm.