Totally Spies! (2001–2014): Season 1, Episode 12 - Queen for a Day - full transcript

♪Here we go,
we're getting on the road till we stop♪

♪And then we'll shop♪

♪ So one, two, three now, baby,
here we go, go, go♪

♪Here we go, here we go♪

♪On a mission undercover
and we're in control♪

♪Here we go, here we go♪

♪ We're Totally Spies
so get on with the show♪

♪Here we go, here we go♪

♪Here we go♪

(whoosh)

(screams)



Tassara!

I've got you!

(grunts)

(horse whinnies)

(hooves thundering)

I'm telling you, girls,
with my new digital video camera,

I'm a shoo-in for Homecoming Queen!

Vote Clover for Queen!
I swear I won't be mean!

Brilliant, isn't it?

It's, erm... great, Clover.

Yeah. In a painfully honest kind of way.

(band plays march)

Out of my way, ladies!

(grunts)



Clover is so over!

It's Mandy who's dandy!

Vote Mandy for Homecoming Queen! Yeah!

(cheering and applause)

Ah, cheer up, Clover. You did your best.

Besides, it's not like you had a chance
at becoming Homecoming Queen,

especially since I've got the entire
football team in my back pocket.

- JV or Varsity?
- Both.

Wow. Impressive.

I think so.

So, why don't you just
give up now, Clover,

and save yourself the humiliation

of losing to me in front of
the entire school?

(screams)

Looks like you'll need to do some
serious campaigning to beat Mandy.

Are you kidding?
I can beat Mandy on my worst-hair day!

Listen, Clover, I overheard everything

and I think I can help you
with your campaign.

Heck, I might even be able to secure
the "nerd" vote for you.

- There's more of us than you think.
- Thanks, but no thanks, brainiac.

I do my own campaigning.

Come on, girls,
you gotta help me campaign.

- (whirring)
- ALL: Huh?

(all yell)

Hmm.

(all scream)

(screaming continues)

Ew! Jerry's really
crossed the line this time!

I hope he knows a good dry-cleaner! Ah!

(all yell)

If this means Jerry's
offering us a surprise cruise,

I'm willing to forgive him
for ruining our clothes.

No such luck, ladies.

Right now, you are en route to
the Northern African nation of Lyrobia

where there's been a rather
unusual kidnapping attempt

on the nation's Queen Tassara.

We suspect it was perpetrated
by the neighboring nation of Kenyopia.

The countries have been at war
for 20 years.

What do you mean by
"unusual kidnapping attempt?"

Apparently, the perpetrator used
some sort of anti-gravity device

to literally lift the Queen
from her palace.

- Cool!
- (snarls)

I mean, that's terrible. Just terrible.

Precisely why I'm sending you
to protect Her Majesty.

We don't want the conflict to escalate
and spill over into other nations.

Great, how am I supposed to campaign
when I'm stuck in Africa?

And now for the gadgets,
today you'll be receiving,

Heat Sensor 6,000 Infrared
Motion-Detector Sunglasses,

Compressed Water Capsules
for proper desert hydration,

High-Sensitivity
Electromagnetic Bracelets...

Whoa!

(chuckles)

Powerful little gadget.

And, last but not least,
keys to a brand-new RATVAT.

A brand-new rat what?

A RATVAT.
Rugged All-Terrain Vehicle and Tunneler.

It'll be waiting when you
arrive at the palace.

And don't ding it,
we just had it painted.

And how do we get to the palace?

(all scream)

Ta-ta!

This map is completely useless.
It's just sand, sand and more sand.

Well, we better get to civilization soon

cos this heat is totally
drying out my skin.

I need a mud-mask ASAP!

It's official, this country is
completely miserable and so am I.

I can kiss my dreams of becoming
Homecoming Queen goodbye!

Too bad you didn't have
someone back home

who could do your campaigning for you.

That's it!

What's it?

Arnold. It's Clover.
You know, your best friend.

I'm out of town and I was wondering

if your offer to help me with
my campaign still stands.

- Of course, Clover.
- You will? That's great!

When monkeys fly!
You mean, mean, mean person!

C'mon, Arnold! It wasn't my fault.

I ate some bad sushi
that made me act that way.

OK. I'll help you...

- On one condition.
- Anything, Arnold. Just name it.

When you get back, you have to be
my girlfriend for one full week.

What?!

Ooh... How about a nice
lunch date instead?

- No way.
- Fine. I'll do it.

But only for one day and only if I win.

Don't worry, you'll win. I'm sure of it.

Things are suddenly looking up.

I say it's high time we call Jerry
and ask for real directions

and get out of this desert!

Or, we could just ask someone
at that nice house over there.

SAM: That's not a house. It's the...

ALL: Palace!

SAM: You guys, be on your best behavior.

Remember,
we're dealing with a real Queen.

Welcome to Lyrobia.

I'm Queen Tassara
and this is my sister Makeda.

I assume you've been briefed
about the kidnapping attempt.

Totally! I'm mean... Indeed.
Jerry told us all about it.

Sounds positively frightening,
Your Honor.

Especially considering
the King of Kenyopia and I

are to attend a peace conference in
Geneva to sign a war-ending treaty.

The fate of our nations
depends on my safety.

Well, the best way to keep
her Excellency safe is to keep her,

I mean, you, out of sight.

True, unfortunately, the palace
is having a celebratory party tonight

and I'm obligated to attend.

Well, in that case,
we better come up with a plan.

Excuse me, but I need to consult with
Makeda about this evening's festivities.

Oh... No problem.

Excuse us, Your Majesty.

I can't tell you how grateful
our people are to have your protection.

Thank you, would you be
so kind as to show us

where the kidnapping attempt occurred?

Well, besides the solid gold bed,
nothing looks out of the ordinary to me.

Except for the floor.
It's totally dirty.

I mean, no offense, Your Highness.

This is where I landed when Akim
saved me from the anti-gravity ray.

Hmm. I'll send a sample to Jerry
for analysis right away.

Now, about tonight's party,

I was thinking one of us
should pose as Tassara

while the other two pose as servants
and thwart any kidnapping attempts.

- What do you think?
- It's a great idea, Sammy!

Of course, I'll play the role of Queen.

Now that I get to be a real Queen,
a fake real one at least,

I could care less about being a dumb,
high-school Homecoming Queen!

I wonder what my first
Queenly duty should be?

Oh, I know!

I'll go on a royal shopping spree.

Uh, Clover, why don't you let Tassara
decide what your "duties" should be?

(guests chatter)

Man, I thought being the Queen
was supposed to be fun. This reeks!

Is there anything I can do for you,
Your Majesty?

Yes, you can save me from this
totally lame receiving line

and help me cut a royal rug!

Duh! I want you to dance with me.

Very amusing, Queen Tassara.

You know that it is your duty
to stay in the royal receiving line.

But you have to let me dance!
I command you!

AKIM AND CLOVER: Makeda!

Makeda. Makeda, are you OK?

I guess all of the evening's excitement
must have gotten to me.

Perhaps you ought to go lie down.

Good idea.

That was quite nerve-wracking.

Don't worry, Your Majesty.
Everything's going to be fine.

(shocked cries)

Could be the kidnappers!
We better investigate!

Hide behind here, Your Majesty!

(sniffs) I don't see anything,
but I definitely smell something!

(crackling)

Ooopsie.

Guess this wasn't the best place
to recharge my compowder.

Well, at least it's just a blown fuse
and not the kidnappers.

(screaming)

(screaming continues)

(guests shout)

- Stop!
- Let her go!

(chuckles)

CLOVER: Help me!

(grunts)

Whoa!

Oh!

(shouting in background)

- Are you OK?
- I'm fine.

Wish I could say the same for Clover.

Makeda has been kidnapped, too!
I went to check on her and she's gone!

(both gasp)

ALEX: Hmm. Whoa. Déjà vu.

Let's see if Jerry has
any info on this stuff.

Good evening, ladies.
How's the mission going?

Oh, it's going great, Jer!
Lyrobia is way cool!

Except for the part where Clover and
the Queen's sister have been kidnapped.

Oh, my!

So, do you have any info
on the sample I sent you?

I think it might help us find them.

Oh, yes actually, the residue.

Apparently, it's some kind of
magnetic compound

found only on asteroids in outer space.

Asteroids? That's strange.

And sad.

I mean, just think of poor Clover.
She hates outer space.

She got a "D" in astronomy class.

I wonder if this has anything to do
with the asteroid crater

in the Northern part of Lyrobia.

We'll find out when we get there.

- C'mon, Alex!
- Wait. What about Queen Tassara?

I'm coming with you.

I've got to find Makeda.
I feel responsible.

I don't know... It might not be safe.

- Well, it isn't exactly safe here.
- Good point.

(sighs) You know,
the desert's not all that bad

when you don't have to cross it
on a stinky old camel.

(beeping)

Forget what I said, the desert sucks
no matter how you cross it!

Get ready to dive!

Hey, cool.

(squeals)

Pfft! Is this any way to treat a queen?

Hmm...

That's not the Queen, you fools!
You've got the wrong girl!

Now go find Queen Tassara
and bring her to me immediately!

What should we do with this one?

She's useless to us.
Ship her to Siberia.

(loud crash / birds squawk)

TASSARA: This is it.

Talk about a change of scenery.

If there's any activity around here,
we should be able to find it with these.

I see something across the crater!
It's coming this way!

Maybe it's the kidnappers!

I don't see anything.

(growls)

(roars)

(all scream)

(screaming continues)

I guess you finally got
the mud mask you wanted.

Look!

ALEX: This must be it.

I mean, it practically screams
"bad-guy hideout".

This looks like the dust
we found in Tassara's room.

Let's check it out.

Call off the search.

The foolish girls have been nice enough
to deliver the Queen to our front door.

Maybe I was wrong.

It doesn't look like anyone's
been in here for a hundred years.

Hey! Clover!

Have you seen Makeda?

I'm fine, thank you for asking!
And no, I haven't seen Makeda.

I haven't seen anything
but the inside of this crate!

MAKEDA: I'm right here.

Oh! Makeda! You're OK?

Yes. Unfortunately,
I can't say the same for you four.

What's this?

(all scream)

TASSARA: What's happening!?

You're being kidnapped,
once and for all.

But why?

How else can I stop you from going
to Gevena and signing that treaty?

You see, if the war ends

I won't be able to sell my anti-gravity
guns to the General of Kenyopia.

I don't get it.
Why would you sell weapons to the enemy?

It's simple, really. I struck a deal.

When Kenyopia wins the war,
I'll be Queen of both countries!

In fact, I'm going to Lyrobia's
weapons factory right now

to finalize my deal with the General.

Besides, it's time you passed the crown.

But what about us? You can't just
leave us floating here forever!

Don't worry, Sis.
You won't be floating for long.

This place is rigged to explode
in a matter of minutes.

So long, girls.

Great. Now what are we supposed to do?

- We've got to break the gravity field.
- And how are we supposed to do that?

The only devices we have left
are these dumb bracelets.

Which, might I add, are totally gaudy.

Alex, you are a genius!

I am? I mean... Yes, I am.

How am I a genius again?

Quick. Everybody turn your bracelets on!

(all grunt)

SAM: Anyone up for leaving?

(all scream)

Eurgh.

OK, my pores are
officially over-hydrated.

Stop messing around! We've got to get
to that weapons factory right away!

It's hidden in Mount Killilea.
I can take you there.

(roaring and screaming)

SAM: Quick! To the RATVAT!

(dog barks)

ALEX: There's the entrance,
just like Tassara said.

(alarm)

ALEX: What is this place?

SAM: This is where Makeda's scientists
build the anti-gravity guns.

Look. It's Makeda and the General.

(all gasp)

(grunts)

(yells) Guards!

(alarm)

(gunfire)

Look out!

(yells)

(screams)

What kind of an evil place is this?!

(gasps)

(screams)

(growls)

(screaming)

(laughs)

(yells)Oh...

Take that!

Don't move or I'll blast you with...
with this lame radio thingy.

Oh, shoot.

Are you crazy? Put that down.

- You'll destroy us all!
- Huh?

It's a highly-sensitive
"earthquake generator" you fool!

Yeah, sure it is. Nice try, guys.

Huh?

(screaming)

Run!

(rumbling)

(panicked screams)

We've got to stop them.
They're getting away!

Not so fast.

No!

Excellent work, girls.

CLOVER: No time for congratulations!

You have to get Tassara to the
Peace Conference in Geneva right away.

JERRY: Ohhh!

CLOVER: I'm so glad to finally be home.

I mean, is it me,
or was that the worst mission ever?

Worst mission ever?
What are you talking about?

Yeah, we just helped end a 20-year war!

Whatever. Being Queen was totally lame!

Hey, check it out!

I guess this means Arnold's been busy.

Clover, you're back!

Attention, students, the results
of the Homecoming race are in.

This year's Queen is none other than...

Clover!

(all cheer)

I can't believe it. I lost!

Clover! Clover! Clover! Clover! Clover!

I can't believe it! I won!
Isn't it the greatest?

I thought you were over
the whole Queen thing.

Are you kidding?!
I can't wait to begin my reign.

And I promise to make
you two my servants...

Uh, I mean advisors.

Congratulations, Clover.

Say, what do you think about
me and you going steady?

(squeals)

I say, you've got yourself a de...

- Hold your horses, Clover.
- Huh?

Remember your promise?

You're my girlfriend.

At least for today.

Oh. Right...

Clover! Clover! Clover!

(chanting continues)

(cheering and applause)

Oh, well, every queen needs a king.