Total Drama (2007–2014): Season 5, Episode 1 - Heroes vs. Villains - full transcript

Top competitors from past seasons get separated into groups of villains of heroes based on past performances on the show. From then on, they compete against each other to win the 1 million dollar prize.

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(METAL BARS CLANK)

PRISONER 1:

I'M INNOCENT, I TELL YOU!

INNOCENT!

PRISONER 2:

(KISSING SOUNDS)

CHRIS:

THE CRUSTY COCKROACHES

HAVE A BIG LEAD

OVER THE SOILED STINKBUGS!

PRISONER 2:



CRAM IT, MACLEAN!

(MANIACAL LAUGHTER)

CHRIS:

OOH! LIGHTNING SLIPS

PAST DUNCAN -

THE HEAT IS ON!

YEAH! LOOK AT THAT!

THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT.

WELL, WELL, WELL,

LOOK WHO FINALLY CAME

TO VISIT ME

AFTER A WHOLE YEAR!

CHEF:

COME ON, YOU'VE FINISHED



YOUR SENTENCE

FOR DUMPING TOXIC WASTE.

WHATEVER!

THINK I'LL STAY RIGHT HERE.

GOT EVERYTHING I NEED,

INCLUDING CHEF 2.0.

I MADE HIM FROM A CASHEW.

WHAT'S THIS?

CHEF:

YO' CONTRACT.

THE PRODUCERS HAVE GREEN LIT

ANOTHER SEASON.

SO, YOU IN?

IT IS ON!

♪♪

♪ I wanna be,

I wanna be

♪ I wanna be famous

♪ I wanna be,

I wanna be

♪ I wanna be famous

(Whistling)

CHRIS:

WELCOME TO TOTAL DRAMA

ALL-STARS!

AFTER MY INVOLUNTARY YEAR-LONG

"VACATION,"

I REALLY NEED TO BE

IN A FAMILIAR ENVIRONMENT,

SURROUNDED BY THE PEOPLE

I LOVE... TO HURT.

(DEVIOUS CHUCKLE)

IT'S A CONDITION OF MY PAROLE!

EXCEPT FOR THE "HURT" PART, HUH,

THAT'S ALL MCLEAN.

SO I'M BRINGING BACK FOURTEEN

TD ALL-STARS

TO BATTLE IT OUT

IN THE MOST DANGEROUS,

DEATH DEFYING,

$1,000,000 DOLLAR COMPETITION

EVER!

AND HERE THEY ARE NOW!

FROM "REVENGE OF THE ISLAND,"

SAY HELLO TO...

MULTIPLE MIKE,

A.K.A. CHESTER,

SVETLANA, VITO, AND MANITOBA!

MIKE'S CRUSH, PUSHOVER

TURNED POWERHOUSE, ZOEY!

ZOEY:

(SHARP BREATH)

MIKE!

CHRIS:

ATHLETIC NON-SUPPORTER...

LIGHTNING!

YOU CALL THAT A DIVE?

WATCH THIS!

SHA-AAAGH!

BUBBLE BOY BRAINIAC,

CAMERON!

CAMERON:

THIS IS HIGHLY ILLOGICAL!

CHRIS:

GREGARIOUS MUTANT-LOVING GAMER,

SAM!

SAM:

NOT COOL!

CHRIS:

CHALLENGE-THROWING DIRT FARMER,

SCOTT!

SCOTT:

AGGGHHHHH!

BOSSY BRUISER JO,

WHO DOMINATED

WHO DOMINATED UNTIL

HER UNDERLING TURNED ON HER!

JO:

(STRUGGLING GRUNTS)

YOU'RE A DEAD MAN, MCLEAN!

AGGGHHHHH!

(CHUCKLES)

AND FROM OUR ORIGINAL CAST:

CRANKY KNOW-IT-ALL C.I.T.,

COURTNEY!

COURTNEY:

THIS IS NOT IN MY CONTRACT!

CHRIS:

COURTNEY'S BESTIE TURNED

"BOYFRIEND STEALER," GWEN!

GWEN:

HE WASN'T HER BOYFRIEND

AT THE TIIIIIME!

BROODY BAD BOY, DUNCAN.

DUNCAN:

BRING IT ON!

CHRIS:

DEVIOUS DIVA, HEATHER.

HEATHER:

I HATE CHRIS!

CHRIS:

LOVEABLE LAMEBRAIN, LINDSAY!

LINDSAY:

I'M FLYING!

(TERRIFIED SHRIEK)

SUPER FAN, SIERRA,

TOTAL DRAMA'S

NUMBER ONE STALKER-

UH, BLOGGER!

FOR CODYYYYY!

(HUGE SPLASH)

AND FERAL FREAKSHOW,

EZEKIEL!

EZEKIEL:

(SNARLING)

CONTESTANTS:

(CONCERNED GASPS)

HUH?! WHAT?!

CHRIS:

(MISCHIEVOUS LAUGH)

KIDDING!

NO WAY IS THAT GUY

COMIN' BACK AGAIN!

(SNAPS FINGERS)

(CANNON BLASTS,

EZEKIAL SHRIEKS)

(SIGHS)

MAN, IT'S GREAT TO BE BACK.

CONTESTANTS:

(COUGHING)

CHRIS:

GREETINGS, OLD FRIENDS!

(COUGHS)

I AM NOT YOUR FRIEND.

AW, SOMEBODY MISSES

HER HUNNY-BUNNY.

WHO, ALEJANDRO?

AS IF!

I'M GLAD HE ISN'T BACK,

THAT HANDSOME JERK.

YOU'RE GONNA PAY

FOR MY DRY CLEANING!

NO I'M NOT.

NEW CONTRACTS, 'MEMBER?

SAME OLD CHRIS,

SAME OLD DISGUSTING ISLAND.

WHAT WAS I THINKING?!

IN FACT, WE'VE GOT A LOT

OF BIG CHANGES THIS SEASON.

FOR ONE,

THE ISLAND IS NOW 100 PERCENT

TOXIC WASTE FREE.

WHAT?!

I ONLY CAME BACK

TO GET UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL

WITH SOME TOXIC GOOP

SO I CAN BECOME

A KICKBUTT MUTANT,

LIKE MY GAL DAKOTA.

GEE, TOO BAD.

GUESS IT'S GONNA BE

"ALL PAIN NO GAIN"

FOR YA, HUH?

(LAUGHS)

ON THE UPSIDE,

I'VE UPGRADED

YOUR ACCOMMODATIONS.

THIS SEASON,

THE LOSERS STILL HAVE TO SLEEP

IN A STANKY OLD CABIN...

COMPETITORS:

(GROANING AND GRUMBLING)

CHRIS:

BUT THE WINNERS GET TO STAY

IN THE ALL NEW ECO-FRIENDLY

MACLEAN SPA HOTEL,

COMPLETE WITH BUTLER, HOT TUB,

AND 24-HOUR MASSEUSE!

COMPETITORS:

(ENTHUSIASTIC CHEERING)

AND IN HONOUR

OF YOUR ALL-STAR STATUS,

I'M DIVIDING YOU INTO TEAMS

BASED ON YOUR PAST PERFORMANCES:

HEROES VERSUS VILLAINS!

(STATIC BUZZES)

OBVIOUSLY I'LL BE ON

THE VILLAINS' TEAM,

AND I'LL BE RUNNING IT BY LUNCH!

(STATIC BUZZES)

HEROES VERSUS VILLAINS?

GUESS DUNCAN AND I WON'T BE

ON THE SAME TEAM.

UNLESS CHRIS CONSIDERS

DUNCAN A HERO.

(CHUCKLES)

YEAH RIGHT!

CHRIS:

HEATHER, DUNCAN, LIGHTNING,

JO, SCOTT, AND GWEN.

FROM NOW ON,

YOU'RE THE VILLAINOUS VULTURES!

LIGHTNING:

SHA-TEAM!

GWEN:

WHAT?! WHY AM I

ON THE VILLAINS TEAM?

BECAUSE YOU STOLE

MY BOYFRIEND

AND BECAME

THE NEW HEATHER?

YEAH, WHAT SHE SAID.

BUT I'VE DONE

SO MANY GOOD THINGS!

I'M NOT A VILLAIN!

I'M NICE!

BEING BAD IS COOL!

AND NOW WE'RE ON

THE SAME TEAM.

SO THAT'S GOOD, RIGHT?

I GUESS.

(STATIC BUZZES)

AW, MAN! I ONLY CAME BACK

FOR GWEN.

SHE BETTER NOT SULK

THE WHOLE TIME,

OR I MAY AS WELL BE

DATING COURTNEY!

CHRIS:

MIKE, ZOEY, CAMERON, SAM,

COURTNEY, LINDSAY AND SIERRA -

YOU'RE THE HEROIC HAMSTERS!

COURTNEY:

EXCUSE ME?

HOW ARE HAMSTERS HEROIC?

IT WAS THAT,

OR THE "HEROIC HIPPOS."

HAMSTERS IT IS!

JO:

WAIT A MINUTE,

THEY HAVE SEVEN PEOPLE

TO OUR SIX. NO FAIR!

I NEEDED THE SEAT ON THE PLANE

FOR THAT EZEKIEL PRANK!

FINE,

YOU CAN HAVE THE ROBOT.

(WHEELS SQUEAK,

ROBOT BEEPS)

I THOUGHT YOUR ROBOT

COULD TALK.

MEH.

THE COMMUNICATION CHIP KAKKED

WHILE I WAS IN THE HOOSEGOW.

WAS THAT ENGLISH?

(ROBOT BEEPS)

KEEP YOUR DISTANCE,

TOASTER.

(STATIC BUZZES)

UGH!

THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT

THAT ROBOT

I JUST DON'T LIKE.

THIS YEAR'S CHALLENGES ALL NOD

TO CLASSICS FROM THE PAST,

BUT WITH HARSH NEW TWISTS

TO MAKE THIS THE TOUGHEST

TOTAL DRAMA SEASON EVER!

YOUR FIRST CHALLENGE?

FIND THE KEY

TO THE SPA HOTEL!

AND YOU'LL DO IT

IN AN HOMAGE

TO TOTAL DRAMA'S

FIRST EVER CHALLENGE:

CLIFF DIVING INTO WATER

INFESTED WITH RAVENOUS SHARKS!

SCOTT:

(GULPS, FEARFUL)

(STATIC BUZZES)

(SHUDDERS) OH... OKAY,

SO MAYBE I HAVE A PHOBIA

OF SH-SH-SHARKS.

CAN YOU BLAME ME?

(STATIC BUZZES)

CHRIS:

ONCE YOU DIVE INTO THE WATER,

TRY TO AVOID THE SHARKS

LONG ENOUGH TO SNAG A KEY.

AND CHOOSE WISELY -

ONLY ONE OF THOSE SUCKERS

IS THE REAL DEAL.

ASSUMING YOU LIVE LONG ENOUGH

TO REACH DRY LAND,

A TEAMMATE WILL DRIVE YOU

TO THE HOTEL

IN ONE OF THE BABY CARRIAGES

FROM SEASON THREE'S:

"RACE THROUGH CENTRAL PARK."

FIRST TEAM TO UNLOCK

THE SPA DOOR WINS,

AND SOMEONE FROM TEAM LOSER

WILL BE GOING HOME TONIGHT.

MEET ME AT THE BASE OF THE CLIFF

IN 15 MINUTES.

CHOP, CHOP!

MIKE:

WAIT! SHOULDN'T WE CHANGE

INTO OUR SWIMSUITS

OR SOMETHING FIRST?

CHRIS:

SORRY! NO TIME!

(ROBOT'S WHEELS SQUEAK)

HEATHER:

UGH! I SAID KEEP AWAY FROM ME!

SAM:

SO, SIERRA,

WHAT BROUGHT YOU BACK?

SIERRA:

I WANNA WIN FOR CODY.

WE WOULD'VE WON LAST TIME

IF I DIDN'T ACCIDENTALLY

BLOW UP THE PLANE.

OH YEAH!

YOUR HAIR GREW BACK NICELY.

THANKS! IT'S TOUGH TO BE APART

FROM MY MAN,

BUT IT'S TOO DANGEROUS

FOR HIM HERE.

AND I'M SURE

I CAN HANDLE IT LONG ENOUGH

TO WIN THE MILLION.

(CRIES)

I MISS MY CODYBEAR...

SO MUCH!

EXCUSE ME!

UH, WATCH IT,

OLD HEATHER.

YOU WATCH IT,

NEWBIE!

GWEN:

GUYS, JUST BECAUSE CHRIS

LABELLED US "VILLAINS"

DOESN'T MEAN WE HAVE TO ACT

LIKE VILLAINS.

WE'RE A TEAM.

WE SHOULD WORK TOGETHER

AS A TEAM!

VILLAINS:

SHE'S RIGHT! YEAH!

OH, SURE THING!

HEH. NO WAY IS THAT

GOING TO HAPPEN. I...

JO:

DON'T TRUST...

DUNCAN: ANYONE...

SCOTT: ON THIS...

ROBOT: (BEEPS TWICE)

LIGHTNING: TEAM!

GWEN:

HEH. I THINK THAT WENT WELL!

VILLAINS:

(CACKLE EVILLY)

UGH! COURTNEY KEEPS

GLARING AT ME

LIKE SHE'S TRYING

TO SET ME ON FIRE.

DUNCAN:

I'LL GIVE HER A GLARE-BACK

FOR YA.

UH, HELLO?

COURTNEY?!

HEY!

I'M USED TO HAVING GIRLS

YELL AT ME,

EVEN PUNCH ME.

BUT BLANK ME?

THAT'S... THAT'S JUST WRONG!

UH, I MEAN, PFFT!

WHATEVER.

PSST! I THINK DUNCAN

WANTS YOU TO YELL AT HIM.

YOU KNOW,

FOR OLD TIMES SAKE!

WHAT'S THE POINT?

HE NEVER LISTENS.

BESIDES,

IT'S OVER BETWEEN US.

HE'S A BAD BOY,

I KNEW IT COULDN'T

LAST FOREVER.

BUT GWEN?

I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS.

(SIGHS) LAST TIME

I MAKE THAT MISTAKE!

LINDSAY:

(GASPS) YOU KNOW HOW

TO STOP MAKING MISTAKES?!

TEACH ME!

CHRIS:

(LAUGHS) GREETINGS,

ALL-STARS!

COMPETITORS:

(COUGHING AND CHOKING)

CHRIS:

HERE ARE YOUR CARRIAGES:

BLOOD RED

FOR THE VILLAINOUS VULTURES,

AND PUREST GOLD

FOR THE HEROIC HAMSTERS.

YOU'VE GOT 30 SECONDS

TO PICK YOUR CARRIAGE DRIVERS,

STARTING... NOW!

SCOTT: I'LL DRIVE!

JO: NO! I'LL DRIVE!

LIGHTNING:

SHA-PLEASE!

YOU'RE THE SLOWEST

GO-CART DRIVER EVER!

JO:

BUT I'M ALSO THE SHOPPING CART

RACING CIRCUIT CHAMPION.

NO I'M NOT.

I JUST SAID THAT BECAUSE...

GOTTA RESPECT

CHAMPIONSHIP STATUS.

JO DRIVES!

(STATIC BUZZES)

SCOTT:

AW, COME ON!

GWEN:

BUT, JO, WOULDN'T YOU MAKE

A BETTER DIVER

SINCE YOU'RE SO ATHLETIC?

NOBODY TELLS ME WHAT TO DO,

GOTH-BALL.

AND DON'T EVEN TRY

TO KISS ME!

(GASPS) WHAT?!

AFTER THREE SEASONS

OF KINDNESS,

I'M REDUCED TO "EVIL KISSER"

STATUS?!

FOR THE LAST TIME,

DUNCAN AND COURTNEY WERE OVER

BEFORE HE AND I STARTED!

YOU CAN'T STEAL A BOYFRIEND

IF THE BOY IS FREE!

CHRIS:

TEN SECONDS!

YOU CAN DO IT.

LINDSAY:

UH, MAYBE YOU SHOULD DO IT!

(ANNOYED HUFF)

LINDSAY WILL DO IT!

LINDSAY:

(IMPACT GRUNTS)

CHRIS:

OKAY, EVERYONE BUT JO

AND LINDSAY

UP THE CLIFF YOU GO!

COMPETITORS:

(EXHAUSTED PANTING)

LIGHTNING:

SHA-FIRST!

(COMPETITORS PANT,

ROBOT'S WHEELS SQUEAK)

SAM: OH...

CAMERON: UNGH! OH...

ZOEY, MIKE AND SCOTT:

AGGGHHHH! FANG!

GWEN:

WHO?

CHRIS:

WHO'S THE BEST

KEY SPOTTER?

AND WHO'S DEAD

IN THE SHARK-INFESTED WATER?

FIND OUT WHEN WE RETURN

ON TOTAL... DRAMA...

ALL-STARS!

CHRIS:

PLACES, PEOPLE!

IT'S DIVIN' TIME!

(LAUGHS)

SCOTT:

A-A-AFTER YOU, I-I INSIST!

HEH.

ONE DIVER PER TEAM

AT A TIME.

THE NEXT DIVER HAS TO WAIT

UNTIL THEIR TEAM'S CARRIAGE

RETURNS.

READY, SET...

(AIR HORN BLASTS)

WOO! LIGHTNIN' STRIKE!

COURTNEY:

WAAAHHHH!

LIGHTNING: SHA-BAM!

COURTNEY: AGGGHHHH!

(SPITS)

SHA-SCORE!

JO:

YES! SO LONG, SUCKER!

CHRIS:

AND THE VILLAINS

TAKE THE LEAD!

COURTNEY:

(PANTING)

GO, GO, GO!

WHICH WAY IS THE HOTEL AGAIN?

COURTNEY:

UGH! NEVERMIND,

I'LL DO IT!

CHRIS:

UP-BUP-BUP-BUP!

NO TRADESIES!

GOTTA STICK

TO YOUR DESIGNATED DRIVER.

COURTNEY:

FINE. UGH! JUST PUSH!

OKAY.

HOW DO YOU PUSH AGAIN?

COURTNEY:

ARRRGH!

JO:

LISTEN, YOU DON'T LIKE ME

AND I REALLY DON'T LIKE YOU -

WHAT'S NOT TO LIKE?

MUAH!

YOU'RE KIDDING, RIGHT?

POINT IS,

WE'RE THE STRONGEST MEMBERS

OF OUR TEAM.

AGREE TO STAY

OUT OF EACH OTHER'S WAY

UNTIL THE TEAMS MERGE?

COOL. BUT THEN IT'S EVERY CHAMP

FOR HIMSELF,

STARTING WITH NUMBER ONE,

AND THAT'S ME!

YEAH, YEAH.

COME ON, KEY,

GET IN THE LOCK!

JO:

IT DOESN'T FIT

BECAUSE IT'S THE WRONG KEY,

BRIGHT-NING!

UGH! WRONG KEY!

LINDSAY:

OOH, MAYBE THEY LEFT

A WINDOW OPEN?

COME ON, COME ON.

SIERRA:

YOU KNOW,

A LOT OF MY BLOG READERS

WERE MAD ABOUT YOU GUYS

HOOK UP,

BUT I GET IT.

LOVE IS LOVE!

JUST LIKE ME

AND MY CODY-WODY.

YEAH, WE'RE JUST LIKE

YOU GUYS.

HERE COMES JO!

HOW 'BOUT A KISS

FOR LUCK?

UH... NO TIME!

DUNCAN:

WHOA-OH-OH-OH-OH...

AGGGHHHH!

(WATER SLOSHES)

(VICIOUS CHOMP)

DUNCAN:

(PANTING)

LET'S ROLL!

COURTNEY:

HURRY UP!

THEY'RE STILL AHEAD OF US!

SIERRA:

FOR CODYYY!

YEE-HAW!

(WATER SPLASHES)

MIKE:

UH-OH. THINK SHE'S OKAY?

(HARD WHACKS)

(BUBBLES SPUTTER)

OH, I FOUND ONE

THAT LOOKS LIKE CODY!

COURTNEY:

URRRRRGH! I DON'T WHERE

YOU LEARNED TO PUSH A...

SIERRA: YAHOO!

COURTNEY: NO, WAIT!

SIERRA:

UNGH!

LINDSAY:

(STRAINING GRUNT)

SO - UNNNGGGHH! - HEAVY!

SIERRA:

SORRY, I HAD A BIG BREAKFAST.

JO:

LISTEN UP, SHORT PANTS,

I'M IN CHARGE.

GET IN MY WAY

AND I'LL MAKE YOUR LIFE

A WALKING NIGHTMARE.

DUNCAN:

HA! TRUST ME,

I DON'T WANNA BE IN CHARGE.

BUT FEEL FREE

TO KNOCK YOURSELF OUT TRYING!

REALLY?

DUNCAN:

NO GO, IT'S A DUD.

WAY TO PICK THE WRONG KEY,

DUD-CAN.

HA! GOOD ONE.

THANKS?

WOW! SOMEONE WHO FINALLY

APPRECIATES MY KILLER ZINGERS!

SIERRA:

AW, CODY-KEY'S TOO SMALL.

BACK WE GO!

COURTNEY:

(GROANS WEAKLY)

(MUFFLED CRY)

SIERRA:

DO YOU HEAR SOMETHING?

ZOEY:

OH, THERE THEY ARE!

LINDSAY:

(EXHAUSTED GROANS)

(KISS)

GOOD LUCK!

MIKE:

(DAZED GIBBERISH)

ABABABHA...

GWEN:

(YELPS AND SCREAMS)

(WATER SPLASHES)

GWEN:

(GASPS) WHOA!

N-N-N-NICE SHARKS!

(GASPS)

GWEN!

(WHACK)

SORRY!

(HARD WHACKS)

MIKE:

THANKS!

SAM: (CHUCKLES) COOL!

HEATHER: WHOA!

WELL, AFTER ALL THE TIMES

HE'S SAVED ME,

I OWE HIM ONE.

GWEN:

HURRY!

JO:

YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT?!

SIERRA:

IT'S ALL YOURS!

COURTNEY:

(WHIMPERING)

WAIT!

(GROANS WEAKLY)

SIERRA:

HMM! SO THAT'S WHY IT FELT

SO LUMPY!

(GRUNTS)

DARN IT!

UGH! HOW HARD IS IT

TO PICK THE RIGHT KEY?!

GWEN:

GUESS YOU SHOULDA BEEN A DIVER,

HUH?

LINDSAY:

(PANTS WEAKLY)

(GRUNTS)

MIKE:

NO. BACK WE GO!

LINDSAY:

UGH...

SAM: HERE GOES!

HEATHER: FINALLY! AGGHHH!

(WATER SPLASHES)

NO!

(GARBLED SCREAM)

AGGGHHHHH!

HEATHER:

SUCKER!

(GROANS)

(PANTS)

I HAVEN'T BEEN THIS TIRED

SINCE I RAN THAT SEPTATHLON.

HEATHER:

IT DOESN'T FIT!

COME ON, LET'S GO!

SAM:

(PAINED GROANS)

LINDSAY:

(STRAINED GRUNTS OF EFFORT)

I WANT TO WIN THE MILLION

SO I CAN SPEND IT ON

A LIFETIME SUPPLY OF LIP GLOSS,

BUT I FORGOT HOW HARD THIS IS.

NEVER THOUGHT I'D SAY IT,

BUT...

NO LIP GLOSS IS WORTH THIS!

DUNCAN:

IT'S YOU'RE TURN, MAN.

SCOTT: (STRAINING)

NO! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!

LIGHTNING:

OH YES I CAN!

(GRUNTS OF EFFORT)

COURTNEY:

HERE COMES LINDSAY!

MIKE:

GOOD LUCK,

NOT THAT YOU'LL NEED IT!

DUNCAN:

YOU HAVE TO DIVE!

IT'S YOU OR THE ROBOT,

AND I'M PRETTY SURE THE ROBOT

ISN'T WATERPROOF!

YEAH,

BUT IT'S SH-SH-SHARKPROOF!

LINDSAY:

AW... (GRUNTS OF EFFORT)

AND THE HEROES TAKE THE LEAD

FOR THE FIRST TIME

IN THIS CHALLENGE!

VILLAINS:

DIVE!

(LOUD THUMP,

ROBOT SQUEAKS)

(BEEPS "UH-OH")

(HEAVY METALLIC CLANKS)

DUNCAN, SCOTT AND LIGHTNING:

(GASPING AND CRINGING)

HEATHER:

SO LONG AND GOOD RIDDANCE.

(MUFFLED CLUNKING)

(ELECTRICITY FIZZLES)

(EXPLOSION)

ALL:

(AWED GASPS AND SCREAMS)

HEATHER:

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!

LAST THING I REMEMBER,

I WAS BURNED TO A CRISP

BY THE VOLCANO

AND CHRIS SEALED ME UP

IN THAT ROBOT SUIT "TO HEAL."

IT FEELS SO GOOD TO BE FREE

AFTER ALL THIS TIME.

I MUST THANK SCOTT

FOR HIS COWARDICE!

VILLAINS:

YEAH! GO, ALEJANDRO!

AGH! UH-OH!

I WAS STUCK IN THAT ROBOT SUIT

FOR A YEAR.

MY LEGS ARE SO ASLEEP,

IT'S LIKE THEY'RE IN A COMA!

WAKEY, WAKEY!

NOTHING.

ZOEY:

WRONG KEY!

SO MUCH FOR OUR LEAD.

LINDSAY:

(SURPRISED GASP)

JALAPENO?!

WHEN DID YOU GET HERE?

ALEJANDRO:

SILLY LINDSAY,

I WAS HERE THE WHOLE TIME.

ALEJANDRO: FINALMENTE!

JO: FINALLY!

CHRIS:

THE DOOR IS OPEN!

THE VULTURES WIN!

ZOEY AND LINDSAY:

(IRRITATED GROANS)

CHRIS:

WELCOME TO OUR FIRST

ELIMINATION CEREMONY.

HOW DO YOU LIKE

THE NEW PEANUT GALLERY? HUH?

NOW, WINNERS CAN WATCH THEIR

OPPONENTS GIVE SOMEONE THE BOOT

BEFORE THEY HEAD

TO THE SPA HOTEL

FOR A DELUXE DINNER.

VILLAINS:

(SNICKER) YES! WOO-HOO!

HEY.

EVEN THOUGH I TECHNICALLY

DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG,

I'M SORRY ABOUT THE WAY

THE WHOLE DUNCAN THING

WENT DOWN.

UH, HERE, I PICKED THESE

JUST FOR YOU.

(SNEEZES)

OH NO!

YOU'RE ALLERGIC?!

TOLD YOU YOU'RE A VILLAIN!

ACHOO!

BEFORE WE START,

I NEED ONE WINNER TO VOLUNTEER

FOR A SPECIAL REWARD.

HA! SHA-LIGHTNING!

GREAT!

YOUR REWARD IS...

SPENDING THE NIGHT IN EXILE

ON BONEY ISLAND

WITH ALL THE HUNGRY

WILD ANIMALS!

AW! HOW IS THAT A REWARD?

BECAUSE THERE'S A MACLEAN

INVINCIBILITY STATUE

HIDDEN SOMEWHERE

ON BONEY ISLAND!

FIND IT,

AND YOU'RE GOLDEN!

(GROANS)

NOW HE TELLS US!

CHRIS:

THIS YEAR, YOU GET TO VOTE

BY PLACING AN "X"

ON THE 8 X 10 PHOTO

NOW, GET VOTING!

(MARKERS SCRATCH

ACROSS PHOTOS)

OKAY. THE FOLLOWING PEOPLE

ARE SAFE:

CAMERON. SIERRA.

ZOEY. MIKE.

AND SAM.

LINDSAY,

YOU'RE ON THE CHOPPING BLOCK

FOR YOUR TERRIBLE

DRIVING SKILLS.

AND, COURTNEY,

YOU'RE ON THE CHOPPING BLOCK

FOR MAKING LINDSAY DRIVE!

LINDSAY:

YEAH, WHAT'S THE MATTER

WITH YOU?

AND THE LOSER IS...

LINDSAY!

THANK GOODNESS!

WAIT... DO I HAVE TO RIDE

THAT SCARY CATAPULT THINGY?

NOPE!

THIS YEAR, WE'VE GOT A BRAND NEW

ELIMINATION DEVICE.

BEHOLD THE FLUSH OF SHAME!

PATENT PENDING.

HEROES:

UGH! EWWW! GROSS! YIKES!

WELL, SEE YOU GUYS,

IT'S BEEN...

(REMOTE BEEPS,

TOILET FLUSHES)

(LINDSAY SCREAMS,

WATERY GURGLE)

(WATER SPRAYS

AND SPLASHES)

HEROES:

GROSS! EW-EW-EW!

(LAUGHS)

WHO'LL BE FLUSHED

INTO THE HISTORY BOOKS NEXT?

FIND OUT

WHEN WE RETURN ON...

TOTAL... DRAMA...

ALL-STARS!