Total Drama (2007–2014): Season 4, Episode 3 - Ice Ice Baby - full transcript

The episode begins with everyone eating at the cafeteria. In there, Mike tries to explain his personality problem by telling everyone that he is role playing, but then admits his disorder at the confessional. The contestants are then taken to the first challenge: to climb up a mountain to the top with your bare hands and feet, or by using stuff from a junk pile that is owned by a giant mutated cockroach. Once they are climbing the mountain, they must avoid the stuff that Chef throws at them. The Toxic Rats manages to get to the top of the mountain first by slingshot-ting themselves on a sofa to the top, winning the first challenge and getting them an advantage in the second challenge: a "Capture the Flag" type of challenge where each of the teams own an ice castle in a snowy area, and must destroy each other's castles (either by melting or by snowballs) in order to capture the other team's flag. In the end, Mike's Svetlana personality manages to capture his team's flag and win the challenge, but before you know it, another of Mike's personalities is revealed that is an egotistical hero named Vito who Anne Maria starts to like this personality from Mike. In the elimination ceremony, Scott sets up B in order for everyone to vote him off, succeeding in the process. Dakota then returns after her father complained that she was unfairly voted out. She now becomes an intern on the show and does not compete for the million dollar prize. B is then voted off. There were also no cameos in this episode.

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[Chris] Previously on Total
Drama Revenge Of The Island:

We learned that although
our campers are here to win,

they're all losers
in one way or another.

Really, really big losers.

It was a psychological butt kicking

that quickly turned literal,
then comical, then hysterical.

[Chris laughs]

But in the end, Dakota got
the biggest boot of all.

Bye-bye!

I love my job.

Stay tuned as more things blow up,
more contestants throw up,



and some even try to hook up.

Right here on Total...

Drama...

Revenge Of The Island!

[theme music]

♪ Tell mom and dad
I'm doing fine ♪

♪ You guys are on my mind ♪

♪ You asked me
what I wanted to be ♪

♪ Now I think the answer
is plain to see... ♪

♪ I wanna be famous ♪

♪ I wanna live
close to the sun ♪

♪ Oh, pack your bags
coz I've already won ♪

♪ Everything to prove,
nothing in my way ♪

♪ I'll get there one day ♪



♪ Coz I wanna be famous ♪

♪ Nananana nana nana na... ♪

♪ I wanna be, I wanna be ♪

♪ I wanna be famous ♪

♪ I wanna be, I wanna be ♪

♪ I wanna be famous ♪

[whistling]

[mouse squeaks]

[eagle cries]

[coughs]

Now I know why gruel
rhymes with cruel.

Oh, sorry, man.

[laughs] Wimp.

I grew up on a dirt farm.

I can always chomp on a clod
if I get the munchies.

[coughs]

Sorry, shortstuff.

On the upside, now
your lungs are waterproof!

Wow... thanks.

[eating noisily]

[choking]

Easy, jarhead,
don't wet your panties.

I like waffles, too... Ow!

[as Chester] Darn kids!

Back in my day, we ate
with our hands like decent folk!

[laughs] You're hilarious!

Unless you're not joking,
but you are, right?

[nervous laugh]

Okay, okay. I admit it.

I...I have multiple
personality disorder.

I try to control them
but they never listen to me.

Lose the old man impression,
it offends my sense of victory.

But your Russian gymnast, Svetlana,

how do you summon such
strength and precision?

I, uh, rehearse a lot
in front of my mirror. Da!

There's gotta be some
protein in here somewhere!

[choking]

Don't worry, I'll save you!

Wooh! That was a close one.
Phew! Thanks, creepy girl.

Hmm? For what?

You're safe now, little one.

[bug purrs]

Look!

A cute little Apodemus sylvaticus!

[screaming]

Waaaaah!

[Chris over PA] Attention, players.

Please head directly
to the looming tragedy

that is Mount Looming Tragedy.

You're race begins... now!

Maggots, ho!

[panting]

Did we win?

Owwww...

[vomits]

If we were hamsters,
I would've eaten you by now.

Okay, mutant food,
on with the challenge.

Part one is an uphill battle.

You have to climb all
the way up to that cliff.

First team to reach the top
gets advantage in part two.

You can climb with your hands,
or use whatever you find in the pile.

Don't worry, this junk yard
doesn't have a dog...

It has a giant mutant beetle!

[beetle hisses]

Big guy's a bit of a hoarder.

His ''estate'' is full of useful crud
and disgusting crud.

That is, if you can get near it.

[alphorn blares]

It is on!

Let's hustle, Maggots!
Double time!

Shirt... so... heavy...

Socks weighing me down... Uh!

You can do it, Cam! Focus!

[screams]

Woah! Thanks.

Any time.

Move it, Maggots!

Parents made me
a climbing wall playpen.

Impressive.

I conquered the rock at a
sergeant junior boot camp.

Dislocated my hip getting
my obstacle course badge.

Check this out! Uuh!

-Uuuh!
-Nice.

And when did you learn
to dislocate your arm?

Just now.

Sha-zoom! Sha-pooby, Sha--

Shut your mouth for once!

Get ready to lose to a girl again!

What girl? Who's he talking about?

And will the lady
be participating?

Pfft!

Have you seen my nails?

These are why
I drive with my feet!

[grunting with effort]

And I'm officially done.
Goodnight, everybody.

Sam, wait! I sense B has a plan.

[Sam] Cool, I hope it
involves not climbing.

Sha-woops!

[screaming]

Don't touch da hair!

Oh, come on! Fire too?

Seriously?

We must distract his tortured soul.

Toss it over! I've got Folk Band 3
at home and high score!

[plays recorder poorly]

-[beetle hisses]
-Aaah!

The console makes better music!

Hey, the Rats have the right idea!

Maybe we could use something
from the trash pile.

[Sam groans]

[Chris over radio]
You know what to do.

Ice 'em!

Chef! Make way for the Lightning!

Sha-bam! Sha-boom!

Ow!

Oof!

Gotta get up pretty early, Chef!

Hey! Hey, Pouf-head!

Too bad they don't
make spray-on style,

you could use some!

What you say to me?! Oh, it is on!

Hey, quit it!

I'm coming for you, pasty!

Every team has a weak link.

As leader, it's my job
to find that link

and manipulate it into
doing whatever I want.

Leadership has its perks.

Come on!

Let's get climbing.

Feel free to help any time!

Hmmm?

Wait!

Look!

Is this why you're so distraught?

That was beautiful.

[Sam groans] I can taste my spine.

Baking soda?

A broken chair leg?

I was clobbered by a giant
fire-breathing beetle

so you could collect this?!

Sha-boom, brotha!

Yes! [laughs]

Wooah!

You did it, B!
We won the challenge!

-Yes! B!
-Aaaaah!

Ow!

Okay, seriously,

Beverly, the explosives
expert mime, has to go!!

Slow yer roll, nature's nurse,
I say who wins.

[laughs]

The Rats! Thanks to B!

[cheering]

You see how I do that better?

Wait a minute,
I got up here first! We won!

We won? Yeah! [screams]

First team to the top wins -
that means the whole team.

-You're still missing some members.
-Pfft, whatever.

Grrr! Die, blondie!

Aaah!

[screams in pain]

Hey, it's fixed! Thanks so--

Yaaaaah!

Ah, ow! Ow! Ah!

My other arm!

Who else is heading for a fall, literally?

Find out after the break!

[Brick] I also bit my tongue!

[shivering]

Greetings, ice teams!

Cold enough for ya?

I'll take that as a "yes".

Time for part two
of today's challenge,

capture the snow fort.

To win, you have to either
demo the enemies fort

or capture the flag and bring
it back to your own fort.

Rats won the first part so...

they get first dibs on the forts.

[shivering] Sha-sha-b-b-easy!

C-c-c-castle!

Nuh-uh!

G-gotta be a trick.

Nice on the outside
means nasty on the inside.

We'll take the shack.

I hope it has a fireplace!

-Great! The crappiness is thorough.
-[growls angrily]

All part of the plan.

Is it hot in here?

[cheering]

What a bunch of suckas!

Maggots rule!

Yes! This battle is so ours!

-Yeah!
-Ow!

[Chris] Listen up, players,
here's how it works.

Use the shovel in each fort

to fire your collection
of mystery snow balls,

which you can fire
at each other's forts.

Awesome! I took out my uncle's
left eye with a meatball this way.

Why are they called
mystery balls?

Because they all
inflict major damage,

thanks to the secret weapon
hidden inside each ball

but some will damage you,

so choose wisely.

Each team has to elect a captain
to command and conquer

starting... now!

[both] As team captain, I say we...

Thumb-wrestle. Stat!

[grunting]

Ow!

Never met a girl
stronger than me, Captain.

Not even my ma!

Seems Brick's a gentleman.
He hardly tried.

And chivalry is a weakness
I can take advantage of.

Brick, Lazy, Zoey, you're on offence.

Your mission,
capture the enemies' flag.

The rest of us will defend the fort
and fire the snowballs.

Be careful, I think Scott's psycho.

And you... don't let
Svetlana pull a hamstring!

I gotta go over there.

The guys back home
are gorgeous,

but they're all hockey thugs
and juvie rejects

with a collective IQ of ten.

Mike is hot and smart!

[sighs happily] I was really starting
to think hot, smart guys were imaginary,

like unicorns and perfect hair.

I'm captain. Live with it.

B, Dawn and I stay here.

Lightning and Sam,
capture their Maggoty flag.

Um, maybe someone with a little more
"leg-foot" coordination should--

[Chris] And...go!!

Let's book it!

Great! More running.

Hurry up, my ice is melting!

And your forts will too
if the sun gets much higher.

[panting]

Looks like the Thunder's gonna
arrive before the Lightning!

I'm Thunder.

-[ice cracking]
-Whoa!

[Chef laughs]

Forgot to tell ya,

no man's land
is more like no man's water.

No, I'm not going
to listen to the snowball,

I'm going to chuck it!

But it's full of negative energy.

So am I.

[coughing]

You weren't held
enough as a child.

Okay, she's gotta go too.

Just pick one already!

This one!

Hmm! Lucky guess.

C'mon, people, we have to attack!

Can't! Guarding flag!

Hey, spray head, didn't I
tell you to go capture their flag?

I ain't riskin' fly-aways!

No!

Oh, this ain't over!!

Lousy Jo making me run out here!

Too easy.

Incoming, twelve o'clock!

Hey, guys, wait up!

Oh, no, we shouldn't.

I am afraid we have no choice!

Hey, quit pushing!

Don't worry, buddy,
Lightning will get you out,

after we win.

[beetle hisses]

Whoa! Remember her?

She organized your family reunion!

Don't hurt us, hurt them!

I didn't know you were
a beetle whisperer.

Hmm!

Uh-oh, we're melting!

Mike! Do your Svetlana thing
and get on the catapult!

I-I-I can't!

My personality... I mean,
impressions are hard to, um...

And first up on the vault,
five-time Russian champ...

[Russian accent ] Is Svetlana!

Get the flag, Svetlana!

Just a few more feet.

Yow!

Make vay for Svetlana!

Oh!

[Bronx accent] Oh! One side, losers.

Eh-oh, you lookin' for this?

Oh, my!

That's ours! Hand it over!

Mike, let's get it back to our fort!

Eh-oh, pasty, you wanna touch the Vito,
you gotta make an appointment.

Now that's what I'm talkin' about!

C'mon, Mike, the play's over,
you win best actor. Now gimme the flag!

Oh, yeah, over
my tanned body!

Let's rumble!

Gimme that flag!

What the...?!

I want my bubble! I want my bubble!

Crud!

Hmm, try and talk your way
outta this one, Bev.

Nice magnifying lens, Beverly!

That's sabotage.

[Chris] Maggots win!

And here's your reward,
McLean brand hot chocolate.

"Scald your senses with
chocolatey goodness."

[Maggots cheer]

Huh? What?

Hey, let's go, we gotta win this.

[laughs] Sha-bam.

I achieved two things today.

Won the challenge and Brick will be
my peon until I render him useless.

Okay, did Vito show up earlier?

[groans] Chester and Svetlana are
hard enough to keep in line but Vito!

Things just went from
tough to sucktacular.

I told you!

B stands for bad man
and Beverly is a bad man!

I never took him for that guy,

but, fact-wise, it would
seem he's that guy.

How can you trust someone
who is so secretive

that he doesn't even talk?

He hates nature, you know.

I've read B's diary, he calls you Fizzle.

Just thought you all should know.

B might have messed
with the challenge,

but Sam messed
with the Lightning.

Time for Thunder
to say, "Sha-bye-bye."

Hey, can somebody
write that down?

After another jam-packed day of losing,

it all comes down to this.

The following Rats are safe.

Dawn.

Lightning.

And Scott.

Which leaves Bev and Sam.

At least I'm not going home first!

Aaaah!

Ooh!

I hate it when losers
get all "clingy".

-Hey, Sam.
-Oh, hi, Dakota.

Oh, Dakota, you're no longer
competing, remember?

I don't care about the money,
like I need it.

I just want, um...
Closer, please. Thank you.

I just want camera time.

People need to see more
of my sparkly adorableness

if I am going to get my
spin-off reality series.

You know how you flew off
into the sky last episode?

That means you're done, forever.

No! Please! I'll do anything!

Listen, princess, this is my show.

-[cell phone rings]
-Huh?

It's your daddy. Hello, Mr Milton.

How much money?

-You're back!
-Yes! Thanks, Daddy.

As an intern!

An intern?! NOOOO!

And...

the toxic marshmallow goes to...

B!

Time for the Hurl of Shame, buddy.

Any final words, Beverly?

Any words at all?

-Huh?
-Huh?

Time's up!

[screams]

Come back for more mutants,
mayhem and manipulation,

next time on Total...

Drama...

Revenge Of The Island.

[theme music]