Total Drama (2007–2014): Season 4, Episode 13 - Brain vs. Brawn: The Ultimate Showdown - full transcript

The final two contestants battle for the $1 million grand prize.

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[Chris] Last time, on Total Drama
Revenge Of The Island,

the final three went
hunting for my old pal

Larry the Human Fly Trap.

[chuckles] Awww!

Adorable!

Cameron and Zoey vowed to take
each other to the finale,

but major trust issues
pulled them apart.

In the end, Lightning won immunity
and gave Zoey the ol' heave-hurl!

Now, only two competitors remain:

Lightning and Cameron, in the
ultimate Total Drama showdown!

It's brains versus brawn,
in a tooth rattling,



ego bashing, life-threatening battle
for a cash prize of

one million dollars!

-Agh!
-[Chris chuckles]

Right here, right now,

on the epic finale of Total...

Drama...

Revenge Of The Island!

[theme music]

♪ Tell mom and dad
I'm doing fine ♪

♪ You guys are on my mind ♪

♪ You asked me what
I wanted to be ♪

♪ Now I think the answer
is plain to see... ♪

♪ I wanna be famous ♪

♪ I wanna live
close to the sun ♪



♪ Oh, pack your bags
coz I've already won ♪

♪ Everything to prove,
nothing in my way ♪

♪ I'll get there one day ♪

♪ Coz I wanna be famous ♪

♪ Nananana nana nana na... ♪

♪ I wanna be, I wanna be ♪

♪ I wanna be famous ♪

♪ I wanna be, I wanna be ♪

♪ I wanna be famous ♪

[whistling]

[Cameron] Poor Zoey! She really
deserved to make it to the finale.

But then I wouldn't get
to beat your sorry butt

before I take home the million. Sha-WIN!

This isn't over.
I may be a little delicate,

but I've still got what you
athletic types refer to as "game".

Yeah? Check THIS game!

Huuh!

[laughs] Lightning's got
it in the sha-BAG!

Perhaps. But not if the final
challenge is of an intellectual nature.

As if!

Total Drama finales
are always physical!

Hope you like juice, cos I'm
gonna crush you like a grape!

-[gulps]
-[Lightning chuckles]

Am I worried? No.

Terrified? Yes.

But this formerly feeble
bubble boy has come a long way.

If I can beat Lightning,
I can do anything!

-[Lightning] Like a grape!
-Ohhhh!

If, on the other hand,
Lightning beats me savagely,

I at least have a biologically
sterile plastic bubble

in which I can spend the next
16 years growing my skin back

while eating my mom's
sandwiches through a straw.

[Lightning] GRAAAAAPE!

Mom, if you're listening,
start pumping the oxygen!

Huh!

If I were a gentleman, I'd step aside
and let the little girl win.

Huh! But Daddy didn't
raise no gentlemen!

Huh! Sha-victory is mine! Huh! Ah!

[bugles sound]

All hail mighty McLean!

Hail McLean?
What's with the Ancient Roman garb?

You'll see. Slave, bring me
my mystic seeing glass!

-[blows raspberry]
-Hey!

Ya know what? In Ancient Rome,
blowing a raspberry was a show of respect.

-No, it wasn't.
-Anyhow...

as a reward for making
it all the way to the finale,

you each get 30 seconds to speak
to a loved one back home.

No way! Mom!

Cammy-bear, you look so different!
Is that muscle tone?

Indeed it is! I haven't puked
due to exercise in weeks!

That's great, honey,
but I have bad news.

Purified air costs so much,
if you don't win the million,

-we'll have to deflate your bubble!
-Seriously?!

Love you, Cammy-bear!
Don't forget to floss... and win!

[laughs]
Don't worry, "Cammy-bear"!

You can floss after I win...
if you've got any teeth left!

[chuckles]
It's Pops!

My boy's gonna win the whole
million dollar sha-bang!

I'll do you proud, Pops!

He's the best son an athlete
could ever hope for!

-You know it, Pops! Over here!
-[reporter] What if Lightning doesn't win?

Impossible! I'll bet
my championship rings on it!!

What?! You're kidding, right, Pops?

He'd better win, cos without these rings,
I'm nothing... NOTHING!

Pops?! Pops!

NOOOO!

He was kidding.
He had to be!

-He sounded pretty serious to me.
-Aaagh!

Whoa! [chuckles]

Love the fire, bro,
but save it for the challenge!

If I lose, Pops is gonna lose his rings!

But I can't lose! I won't lose!
I don't know how to lose!

And one way or another,
I am gonna make Pops proud!

Sha-biggity-BAM!

Where to? The Haunted Forest?
Mount Looming Tragedy?

I was quite partial to
Mount Looming Tragedy.

Nah, somewhere
WAY more dangerous,

for the most painful Total Drama
finale competition ever!

Gentlemen,
behold the Chris-iseum!

[horns play anthem]

-[switches off music]
-[horns sound like raspberries]

Finalists, say what's up
to your cheering sections.

From the Mutant Maggots: Mike,

Zoey, Anne Maria, Brick and Jo.

And the Toxic Rats:

Staci, B, Sam, Dakotazoid, Dawn,

and what's left of Scott!

-Go, Cameron!
-Go, Lightning!

-Wow, thanks, guys!
-Team Lightning! Wooh!

What happened to Scott?

Yeah, Fang had a little too much fun
with him after he took the Hurl of Shame,

so we got him this
nifty "trauma chair".

It even has lights that
blink for "yes" and "no".

Is that a yes or a no?

No idea.
But does anyone really care?

-It's Scott!
-[all laughing]

Hey, Chris, do I have
to cheer for Lightning?

No offence, man, but you weren't
exactly the nicest team-mate ever.

Well, I'm not cheering for
Jockstrap or Weasel Boy!

Oh, I think you will cheer.

Otherwise, I'll be
forced to unleash... him.

[growls]

[rapid beeping]

-Any questions?
-Go, Lightning.

[Chris] On with the main event!

The final challenge
of the season is

a one-on-one
Gladiator Battle Royale.

But first you'll need
to use your imaginations

to make armour and weapons,
in a challenge I like to call

"Make It or Break It"!

You'll need tools and materials
to build your armour and weapons

and we've got 'em right here!

[Cameron] Ooh, that blowtorch
could be extremely useful!

But wait, that's not all!
Oh, Chef...

[gasps]

Thank you, Chef.

You have fifteen minutes
to collect useful bits of crud

from Mount Junkmore
and assemble your arsenal.

But watch your step... I may have loaded
the dumpster with a ton of booby-traps.

[chuckles] Yeah!

And...

[plays accordion music]

-[tape rewinding]
-[gong sounds]

Go!

[cheering]

Agh! Stink bomb! Sha-nasty!

-Man up, crybaby!
-Go, Cameron!

Grab that mannequin leg,
it'll make a great club!

-Oh, and those chains!
-He needs to build armour, too.

-To protect him from what? That?
-Ooh, 700 megahertz!

My bad.

Ahh! Safety first.

[crowd] Ooh!

Why don't you give up?
Save yourself a trip to the hospital.

The blowtorch! Yes!

The million dollars is mine! Ow!

Aw, yeah!
Lightning brings the big guns!

Whoa!

Who's the smart guy now?

Aagh!

Aaaagh!

[Chris laughs] Alright!

Those booby-traps
were such a good idea.

-You can do it! Go, Cameron!
-Yeah!

[grunts with effort]
Yes! Ow!

[grunting]

Yes! SHA-BAM!

Yes!

[tapping on keyboard]

[gong sounds]

And time is up!

Finalists, take you positions for
the ultimate Total Drama showdown.

Last man standing wins
one million dollars!

-[crowd] Try not to kill him too hard!
-That's my champion!

[roars] Let's do this!

Oh! It feels so wrong
to cheer for Lightning.

I always cheer for the underdog
but the only underdog here is Cam.

-I mean, look at him!
-[Lightning] Nice suitcase!

Is Cammy-bear running
home to Mommy? [laughs]

Nope. [chuckles]

That's your job.

Game on!

[cheering]

[Chris] This is gonna be good.

The ultimate battle brutale!
Find out when we return on

Total...Drama...

Revenge Of The Island!

[thunder crashing, crowd cheering]

-[crowd cheering]
-You've got this, buddy!

It's the final challenge of the season -

a gladiator battle to
end all gladiator battles!

Yeah, I'm going to break
you into so many pieces

you'll be all, like...
"Which way is up?"

-That doesn't really make sense.
-Yeah, well... you stink!

I believe I was speaking?

Save the trash talk for the battle. Oh...

and in the grand Total Drama tradition,

there are going to be a few
"obstacles" to deal with,

which I will release into the ring
whenever I feel like it.

I'll crush anything that
gets in my way! Raaaaa!

The match ends when one gladiator
pins the other for three seconds.

Three seconds? That's it?!

I'll pin you so long, you'll be all like,
"Who turned out the lights?"

Once again, swing and a miss.

And... Go!

[crowd cheering]

Kiss the million dollars goodbye!

Correction.
Kiss your BUTT goodbye!

Ah! Woo! Captain of the track squad!

Aaagh! Ooh!

Time for a close encounter
of the mutant kind.

[Chris] Finalists, take your positions

for the ultimate
Total Drama showdown!

[Lightning screams]

Sweet! Momma Beetle's
gonna soften him up for me.

One million bucks, here I come!

-Run, small fry!
-Duck, duck, jump, punch!

You supposed to be
rooting for Lightning!

They keep swapping
underdog status, it's confusing!

Oww!

Don't make me use this!!

NO!!

[laughs] I'm gonna destroy you!

[Cameron] Sorry!

Your luck just ran out, nerdette.
No more Mr Nice Lightning!

-You were being nice before?
-Lightning strikes!

-[screams]
-No!!

Sha-suckah!

Lightning's gonna tenderize you!

-Ooooo.
-Yeah!

Ow! Armour strength 80%! Ow! 75%!

Yawn.

[roars]

-[screams]
-Sha-bye-bye!

Oh, I can't watch!

You really should. The ratings
on this are gonna be CRAZY!

[screams]

-I miss my bubble!
-Back off, scaly! The twerp is mine!

Ignition!

[coughs]

-[growls]
-Sha-yikes!

Agh! Let go of me, you dirty lizard!

Aaaaah!

[crowd] Oooh!

Ai-yi-yi!

-[wheezes]
-Are you okay?

Cam, pin him! Pin him!

Oh, yeah.

You're going down,
bubble nerd!

-[screams]
-Full power!

[whimpering]

-Sha-bam!
-Yow!!

Uh-oh!

[roars]

[both] AAAH!

Larry...

M-m-mutant gophers!

[beep]

[all screaming]

Don't even try it, fur pants!

[screams] My pouf!

NOOOOOOOO!!!

[screams]

My friends are in danger!

-We've got to save them!
-Tell you what...

You waste your time trying
to save a bunch of losers

and I'll win the million!

Hey, get back here!

Chris! I'm pinning him!

Aw, yeah. Thanks, doll!

-Sure!
-Yeah!

The bio-hazardous
waste was Chef's idea!

If you gotta chew
someone's face off, chew his!

HELP!

That's extra fertilizer
for you tonight!

Awww! Now go out there and
terrorize some loser contestants!

[roars]

[Dakotazoid] Bad turtle!

-Leave Sam alone!
-I'm gonna pop!

Oh, the tea leaves
said nothing about this!

Yah, my great-great grandfather--

[all screaming]

NO!! Ow!

Quit being a hero and fight! Aagh!

Armour strength at 60%.
Gotta find Larry's weak spot.

Gotcha!

-Yeah!
-WOOOO!

Yeah!

You wanted an
intellectual challenge?

When I finish with you, your whole life's
gonna be an intellectual challenge!

-OW!
-[gasps]

OW! Armour strength at 20%, 15!

Lightning strikes are stronger
than I anticipated!

Oh, that's it!

Cameron to Armour One - divert all power
to create an electromagnetic charge!

[groaning with effort] Oh, no!
The charge overloaded my armour!

I'm stuck!

You're sha...?
What the...? What's happening?

Oh, nothing. I just
turned you into a giant magnet.

[metal groaning]

[Lightning screams]

Aaagh!

[laughs] Sha-bam!

[wheezes]

-Hurry up, Cam!
-Do it! Do it!

-Do it!
-[straining]

[all] One!

Two!

Three! You did it!

He's done it! Cameron has done it!

Cameron wins Total Drama
Revenge Of The Island

and the million dollar prize!!

Yes, I did it!

[crowd congratulations him]

From a boy in a bubble
to a million dollar winner!

I wouldn't believe it myself
if it wasn't all on tape.

Lightning, if you're listening...
[blows raspberry]

This is an outrage!
The challenge was rigged.

I did not lose to that bubble lover.
It's impossible!

[sobs] Sorry, Pops!

Congratulations, Cameron.
To the winner go the spoils.

One million dollars in cold,

hard cash.

Thanks.

[strains]

And thanks for all your support.
It made all the difference.

So, what are you gonna spend it on first,
hair or shoes?

-Because both need a lot of work.
-Didn't you hear his mom?

He needs the cash to pump up his bubble.

Well, I was going to use the bubble
to heal my shattered body.

But after surviving without
any crippling injuries,

I don't need to go back
to my bubble ever again.

-I salute you, soldier.
-Good for you, man!

And I couldn't have done
it without all of you,

so I'm going to spend it all
on you guys instead!

[cheering]

Hello, world's biggest television and
ever games system in existence!

-I can finally open my dream gym!
-Fashion school here I come!

[silence]

Yeah, you heard me.

Well, that's it for another season.

Except for one last surprise
I hid on their boat.

First rule of showbiz,
always go out with a bang.

Wah-ha-ha!

[cheering]

Aaagh!

Ha! Hoo! Huh?

Chef!

Until next time, I'm Chris McLean
and this has been

Total Drama Revenge Of The Island!

-You're busted, McLean!
-For what?

Creating an environmental disaster,
that's what!

Residents of Wawanakwa, your island
is now under government protection.

You are hereby quarantined.

Prepare for heavy scrub decontamination.

[cheering and laughter]

[theme music]