Total Drama (2007–2014): Season 1, Episode 4 - Dodgebrawl - full transcript

The campers face off in the classic school-yard-blood-bath.

Are you wondering how healthy the food you are eating is? Check it - foodval.com
---
CHRIS: LAST TIME ON

TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND.

THE SCREAMING GOPHERS KICKED

BUTT IN THE AWAKE-A-THON,

WHEN DUNCAN TOOK

A SNOOZE ON THE CAN,

AND THE KILLER BASS TOOK THEIR

SECOND LOSS IN A ROW...HARSH.

HEATHER ORCHESTRATED THE FIRST

TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND ALLIANCE

BY CONVINCING LINDSAY AND BETH



TO JOIN FORCES WITH HER,

THEN POCKETED EVA'S

MP3 PLAYER AND SAT BACK

TO WATCH THE FIREWORKS.

NICELY PLAYED, HEATHER,

NICELY PLAYED.

EVEN THOUGH EVA COULD'VE

PRETTY MUCH KICKED

ANYONE'S BUTT HERE,

IN THE END,

IT WAS HER TEMPER

THAT GOT HER KICKED OFF.

SHE BECAME THE SECOND CAMPER

TO ROCK THE BOAT OF LOSERS.



WHO WILL BREAK THE RULES

OF THEIR NEW ALLIANCE?

WILL GWEN BE ABLE TO STAY AWAKE

UNTIL THE END OF THE EPISODE?

AND WHO WILL TAKE

THE NEXT HUMILIATING WALK

DOWN THE DOCK OF SHAME?

STAY TUNED FOR THE MOST

DRAMATIC CAMPFIRE CEREMONY

YET ON TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND.

CHORUS: ♪ DEAR MOM AND DAD,

I'M DOING FINE ♪

♪ YOU GUYS ARE ON MY MIND ♪

♪ YOU ASKED ME

WHAT I WANTED TO BE ♪

♪ AND NOW I THINK THE ANSWER

IS PLAIN TO SEE ♪

♪ I WANT TO BE FAMOUS ♪

♪ I WANT TO LIVE CLOSE

TO THE SUN ♪

♪ WELL PACK YOUR BAGS

'CAUSE I'VE ALREADY WON ♪

♪ EVERYTHING TO PROVE

NOTHING IN MY WAY ♪

♪ I'LL GET THERE ONE DAY ♪

♪ CAUSE I WANT TO BE FAMOUS ♪

♪ NANA NA'NA NAANA NANA NANA

NA NANA NANA NA ♪

♪ I WANT TO BE, I WANT TO BE,

I WANT TO BE FAMOUS ♪

♪ I WANT TO BE, I WANT TO BE,

I WANT TO BE FAMOUS ♪

(WHISTLING

I WANT TO BE FAMOUS)

(DUNCAN SNORING)

CHRIS: DUNCAN.

YOU LOOK LIKE CRAP, DUDE.

STUFF IT.

HAROLD SNORED ALL NIGHT.

WOW, FOUR NIGHTS

WITH NO SLEEP.

HOW MUCH ARE YOU

HURTING, DUDE?

WANT TO FIND OUT?

NO, NO, IT'S COOL.

-IT'S COOL.

-(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)

(ALL GASP)

(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING)

(ALL GIGGLE)

(ALL LAUGH)

OKAY, WHAT?

SOMEONE MESSED

WITH YOUR FACE, DUDE.

HEY, SWEET STACHE.

CHRIS: HE--HEY,

EVERYONE, IT'S GWEN!

YEAH!

WHY ARE WE CLAPPING?

I'M SO TIRED.

I CAN'T FEEL MY FACE.

WE ARE SO SUCKING RIGHT NOW.

OKAY, YES, EVA WAS A PSYCHO,

BUT AT LEAST

SHE WAS AN ATHLETIC PSYCHO.

SO LET'S GO OVER

THE RULES ONE MORE TIME.

NUMBER ONE, I AM THE CAPTAIN

OF THIS ALLIANCE,

SO I GET TO MAKE THE RULES.

NUMBER TWO...

BREAKING THE RULES CAN RESULT

IN GETTING KICKED

OUT OF THE ALLIANCE?

HEATHER: GOOD.

NUMBER THREE, I CAN BORROW ANY

OF YOUR STUFF WITHOUT ASKING,

BUT MY STUFF

IS STRICTLY OFF LIMITS.

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT

THAT LAST RULE.

THAT'S COOL.

I CAN CHANGE IT.

I CAN ALSO FIND SOMEONE ELSE

TO TAKE TO THE FINAL THREE

WITH ME.

GOOD. WANNA HAVE SOME FUN?

HEY, FISH-HEADS,

WAY TO KICK OUT

YOUR STRONGEST PLAYER.

WHY DON'T YOU

JUST GIVE UP NOW?

MISSED ME.

OKAY, CAMPERS, LISTEN UP.

YOUR NEXT CHALLENGE

BEGINS IN 10 MINUTES,

AND BE PREPARED TO BRING IT.

DUNCAN: WAKE ME UP,

AND IT'LL BE

THE LAST THING YOU DO.

(TYLER GULPS)

THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT,

YOU KNOW?

YOU AND YOUR SNORING FACE.

IT'S CALLED

A MEDICAL CONDITION. GOSH!

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

TODAY'S CHALLENGE IS

THE CLASSIC GAME OF DODGEBALL.

THE FIRST RULE

OF DODGEBALL IS--

DO NOT TALK ABOUT DODGEBALL?

AS I WAS SAYING,

IF YOU GET HIT WITH THE BALL--

OOH. OW!

-CHRIS: YOU'RE OUT.

-YOU CAN'T JUST DO THAT!

IF YOU CATCH THE BALL,

THE THROWER GETS SENT OUT

AND THE CATCHER GETS TO BRING

IN ANOTHER TEAM MEMBER

OUT ON THE COURT.

THROWING BALLS,

GEE, ANOTHER MENTALLY

CHALLENGING TEST.

I KNOW, RIGHT?

OKAY, NOW, GEOFF,

TRY TO HIT ME.

IF YOU'RE HOLDING A BALL,

YOU CAN USE IT

TO DEFLECT A BALL.

BUT IF IT KNOCKS THE BALL OUT

OF YOUR HANDS, YOU'RE OUT.

SO WHAT DO I DO AGAIN

WHEN THE BALL COMES AT ME?

YOU DODGE!

ALL: AH!

OOH, YOU WERE

SUPPOSED TO DODGE.

OW...RIGHT.

YOU HAVE ONE MINUTE

UNTIL GAME TIME.

GOPHERS, YOU'LL HAVE TO SIT

ONE PERSON OUT EACH GAME.

OKAY, WE CAN'T GET LAZY.

THE KILLER BASS ARE GONNA BE

TRYING EXTRA HARD TO CATCH UP.

WHO WANTS TO SIT THE FIRST ONE

OUT WITH SLEEPING BEAUTY HERE?

ALL RIGHT, I'LL VOLUNTEER.

NOW LET'S SEE ALL YOU KEENERS

GET ON OUT THERE AND DODGE.

BRING IT ON, FISHIES.

OTHERWISE WINNING

THREE IN A ROW

JUST WON'T BE AS SATISFYING.

OH, YOU'RE GOING DOWN!

WE'RE GONNA BRING

THE DINNER TO THE TABLE,

AND THEN WE'RE GONNA EAT IT!

CHRIS: BOTH TEAMS READY?

BEST OF FIVE GAMES WINS.

NOW LET'S DODGE SOME BALL!

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

(ALL CHEER)

OOH.

THAT'LL SMEAR THE MAKEUP.

NICE JOB.

NOW LET'S SEE IF YOU CAN HIT

SOMEONE ON THEIR TEAM!

OW. DARN IT.

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

(ALL CHEER)

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

TIME TO UNLEASH

MY WICKED SKILLS.

YEAH?

THEN BRING IT, STRING BEAN!

LET'S SEE WHAT YOU GOT!

AAH!

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

AND THAT'S HOW WE ROLL!

CAN SOMEONE REMIND ME

WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO DO

WITH THIS AGAIN?

(CHEERING)

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

-YO, BABY.

-WOO-HOO.

-MOMMY.

-WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?

REF, HE'S NOT

EVEN ON THE COURT.

OOPS! HE SLIPPED.

UGH.

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

-OH!

-OH, SORRY.

OH, IT'S COOL.

TRUST ME.

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

EASY OUT, GUYS,

EASY OUT.

THAT IS ONE TOUGH BALL TO DODGE.

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

(ALL CHEER)

WE CAN DO THIS.

WE JUST HAVE

TO BELIEVE IN OURSELVES.

OH, I BELIEVE.

I BELIEVE YOU SUCK!

-YEAH, YOU THROW LIKE A GIRL.

-(LAUGHS)

YOU SHOULD TALK.

IT WAS A WARM-UP THROW.

LOOK, I CAN DOMINATE THIS GAME.

JUST GIVE ALL

THE BALLS TO ME.

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

FINE. JUST TRY TO AIM

FOR THE OTHER SIDE, OKAY?

ALL RIGHT, NOAH, YOU'RE UP.

YOU KNOW, YOU GUYS, DID SUCH

AN AWESOME JOB

ON THE LAST GAME

THAT I DON'T WANNA

MESS UP YOUR MOJO.

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

FINE.

LET'S GO, GUYS.

HEY! WATCH THE FACE, DUDE!

NO-O-O-O!

FINALLY.

LINDSAY: UH, HMM, TYLER?

OH, MY GOSH, MY FACE.

HOW'S MY FACE?

IT'S REALLY NOT THAT BAD.

YOU STILL LOOK GREAT.

LINDSAY: REALLY?

YEAH, REALLY.

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

YOU WANNA GO FOR A WALK?

LINDSAY: (THINKING)

HAVE TO SAY NO.

HAVE TO SAY NO.

OKAY!

HEY. HEY, GET BACK HERE!

YOU ARE SO CLOSE

TO BEING OUT OF THE ALLIANCE!

GREAT GATSBY, THAT IS IT.

GAME ON!

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

YEAH!

OW, THAT ONE'S WORTH

AN INSTANT REPLAY.

FORWARD--OKAY, REWIND.

FORWARD, REWIND.

FORWARD, REWIND.

FORWARD, REWIND.

AND PAUSE.

(CHUCKLES)

THAT'S GONNA LEAVE A MARK.

OH, HE DROPPED IT

LIKE IT WAS HOT!

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

(CHEERING)

I DON'T KNOW

WHAT GOT INTO ME.

I'M GLAD SOMEONE

IS TRYING TODAY.

OH, SORRY.

WOO-HOO, WAY TO THROW

THOSE MURDER BALLS.

GO, TEAM. GO.

NICE TEAM SPIRIT.

HEY, IT'S 2-0.

HOW DOES IT FEEL

TO SUCK SO MUCH?

NOT VERY GOOD.

IT'S NOT OVER YET.

IT'S SO OVER.

OKAY, THIS IS REALLY BAD.

ONE MORE GAME, AND WE LOSE

THE WHOLE CHALLENGE, AGAIN!

WE CAN'T LET

THAT HAPPEN, PEOPLE.

WE NEED SOMEONE STRONG,

SOMEONE MEAN,

SOMEONE WHO'LL CRUSH THOSE

STUPID GOPHERS INTO THE DIRT.

UNH-UNH, IF WE WAKE HIM UP,

HE'LL KILL US.

HE WON'T KILL US, GUYS.

HE WANTS TO WIN, TOO.

COURTNEY'S RIGHT.

WE NEED DUNCAN'S

FIERCENESS TO WIN THIS.

THAT'S THE SPIRIT, HAROLD.

NOW GO WAKE HIM UP.

WHY ME?

BECAUSE OTHER THAN TYLER,

YOU'RE THE WORST AT DODGEBALL.

AND IF HE DOES KILL YOU,

YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE

WE CAN AFFORD TO LOSE.

NO WAY, I'M NOT DOING IT.

WELL, WHO'S GONNA WAKE HIM UP?

WE HAVE TO GO HIGHER.

YOU BETTER HAVE

A REALLY GOOD REASON

FOR STICKING THIS UP MY NOSE.

LOOK.

WE ARE DOWN TWO, NOTHING.

I CAN APPRECIATE

THAT YOU NEED A LITTLE NAP TIME,

BUT WE NEED YOUR HELP.

OH, AND WHY SHOULD

I HELP YOU, DARLING?

BECAUSE I CAN PERSONALLY

GUARANTEE YOU

THAT IF WE LOSE THIS GAME,

YOU'LL BE THE ONE

GOING HOME, DARLING.

(SIGHS) FINE.

I'LL PLAY...

ON ONE CONDITION.

YOU DO WHAT I SAY

WHEN I SAY IT.

OKAY, HERE'S A STRATEGY

I PICKED UP

DURING MY FIRST VISIT

TO JUVIE.

IT'S CALLED RUSH THE NEW GUY.

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

(CHEERING)

WAY TO GO, GUYS.

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

COME ON, A LITTLE EFFORT

OUT THERE, PEOPLE.

I THINK THAT WE SHOULD DO

THE SAME THING ALL OVER AGAIN.

SO, HAROLD,

SIT THIS ONE OUT TO.

BUT I SAT THE LAST ONE OUT.

IT'S FOR THE GOOD OF THE TEAM.

OKAY, NOT THAT NOAH HERE CARES,

BUT WE ARE NOT LOSING ANOTHER

GAME TO THESE GUYS, GOT IT?

AND WHERE IS LINDSAY?

OH!

(GASPS)

(LINDSAY LAUGHS)

THIS IS SO AGAINST THE RULES.

I'M SORRY.

I DIDN'T MEAN IT.

HEY, WHY DON'T YOU

JUST CHILL OUT?

WHY DON'T YOU DODGE THIS?

OW!

SIT DOWN AND STAY THERE.

OKAY.

HOW ARE WE DOING?

SPORTS NOT MY FORTE, REMEMBER?

YOU KNOW YOU COULD ACTUALLY

GIVE IT A SHOT

AND PRETEND TO CARE.

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

THIS IS SO UNACCEPTABLE.

WHERE WERE YOU?

NOWHERE.

YOU WERE WITH THAT BLOND

GOPHER GIRL, WEREN'T YOU?

NO...

MAYBE...SO?

SO?

SHE COULD'VE BEEN

GETTING YOU TO SPILL

ALL OF OUR WEAKNESSES TO HER.

OKAY, THIS IS IT,

THE FINAL TIE-BREAKING GAME.

GO TEAM, GO.

OKAY, WHO'S GOING IN?

I THINK IT'S MY TURN?

NO WAY. WE ACTUALLY

HAVE A CHANCE TO WIN THIS.

GOPHERS, BASS,

LET'S SEND THIS SAMPLE

TO THE LAB

AND SEE WHAT YOU'RE MADE OF.

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

COME ON, PEOPLE.

QUICK FEET, FAST HANDS.

KNOCK 'EM OUT.

THROW 'EM OUT.

RAH, RAH.

OW!

YOU'RE RIGHT.

SPORTS AREN'T YOUR FORTE.

BACK OF THE COURT, PRINCESS.

THAT'S FOR THE OATMEAL.

OH, YOU MESSED

WITH THE WRONG WHITE GIRL.

(GASPS)

(ALL CHEER)

SORRY, DUDE,

BUT YOU GOTTA GO DOWN.

GOOD NIGHT, HAROLD.

WHOA.

TIME OUT! TIME OUT!

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

MAN, THAT BOY'S GOT DODGE.

WHERE'D YOU LEARN TO DO THAT?

FIGURE SKATING.

HAROLD, THAT WAS AWESOME.

BUT DODGING ISN'T ENOUGH.

COURTNEY: HE'S RIGHT.

TO WIN THIS, YOU EITHER

HAVE TO THROW HIM OUT--

WHICH WE ALL KNOW

YOU CAN'T DO--

OR CATCH THE BALL.

CAN YOU DO IT?

DEFINITELY.

AWESOME.

NOW GO CATCH THAT BALL.

ALL: HAROLD, HAROLD,

HAROLD, HAROLD.

COWABUNGA!

(GASPS)

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

THE KILLER BASS WIN!

YOU DID IT.

IT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

WHY!?

NICE DODGE, SKATER NERD.

GOPHERS, WHAT HAPPENED?

WHAT CAN I SAY?

WEAK EFFORT.

OH, SHUT IT, NOAH.

YOU KNOW, FOR ONCE

I AGREE WITH HER.

TOUCHY.

WHAT?

I'LL TELL YOU, THE TEAM SPIRIT

HERE IS SEVERELY LACKING LATELY.

I GUESS I'M KIND

OF A ROLE MODEL

NOW THAT I WON

THE DODGEBALL COMPETITION.

PEOPLE WILL PROBABLY

ALL WANT MY AUTOGRAPH

WHEN THE SHOW

IS OVER AND STUFF.

CAMPERS, YOU'VE ALREADY

PLACED YOUR VOTES

AND MADE YOUR DECISION.

ONE OF YOU WILL BE GOING HOME

AND YOU CAN'T COME BACK...

EVER.

WHEN YOU HEAR ME

CALL OUT YOUR NAME,

COME PICK UP A MARSHMALLOW.

OWEN,

GWEN, CODY.

TRENT.

HEATHER.

BETH.

JUSTIN.

LESHAWNA.

IZZY.

THE FINAL MARSHMALLOW

GOES TO...

LINDSAY.

WOO-HOO! YEAH!

WHAT, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

WOO-HOO!

ALL RIGHT, SEE IF I CARE.

GOOD LUCK BECAUSE YOU JUST

VOTED OUT THE ONLY ONE

WITH ANY BRAINS ON THIS TEAM.

OW!

YOU NEED TO LEARN A LITTLE THING

CALLED RESPECT, TURKEY.

WHATEVER, I'M OUTTA HERE.

ALL RIGHT, SO IT WASN'T

THE MOST DRAMATIC

CAMPFIRE CEREMONY EVER.

BUT I STILL GET PAID.

(LAUGHS)

BONUS!