Total Drama (2007–2014): Season 1, Episode 25 - I Triple Dog Dare You - full transcript

In the semi-final round, the final three campers are forced to play a game of I TRIPLE DOG DARE YOU, a twisted version of spin the bottle meets truth or dare.

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CHRIS: LAST TIME

ON "TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND",

YOURS TRULY WAS OFF M.C.ing

A SWANKY AWARDS SHOW.

SO CHEF TOOK OVER AS HOST,

AND, MAN,

WAS HE BRUTAL

TO THE CAMPERS.

NOT ONLY DID HE DUMP THEM

IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WOODS

TO FEND FOR THEMSELVES,



BUT HE LEFT THEM ALONE

WITH SCARY DUDE

SASQUATCHANAKWA.

THEY RAN HELTER.

THEY RAN SKELTER.

THEY RAN INTO

A CROWDED BAT CAVE.

MASSIVE MISTAKE,

I MIGHT ADD.

ULTIMATELY,

THE GIRLS ADMITTED DEFEAT.

SO THE GUYS SHARED

THEIR LOOT,

BUT THE GIRLS OUTFOXED THEM



AND WALKED OFF

WITH EVERYTHING,

INCLUDING THEIR DIGNITY,

PROVING ONCE AGAIN

THAT HOT CHICKS TRUMP

GULLIBLE GUYS EVERY TIME.

IN THE END,

IT WAS BAD BOY DUNCAN

WHO TOOK THE WALK OF SHAME,

LEAVING THREE

GLUTTON-FOR-PUNISHMENT CAMPERS

HEADING INTO OUR MOST

EXCITING CHALLENGE YET.

DON'T BELIEVE ME?

THEN I TRIPLE DOG DARE YOU

TO WATCH THIS EPISODE

OF

"TOTAL... DRAMA... ISLAND"!

♪ DEAR MOM AND DAD,

I'M DOING FINE ♪

♪ YOU GUYS ARE ON MY MIND ♪

♪ YOU ASKED ME

WHAT I WANTED TO BE ♪

♪ AND NOW I THINK THE ANSWER

IS PLAIN TO SEE ♪

♪ I WANT TO BE FAMOUS ♪

♪ I WANT TO LIVE CLOSE

TO THE SUN ♪

♪ WELL, PACK YOUR BAGS

'CAUSE I'VE ALREADY WON ♪

♪ EVERYTHING TO PROVE,

NOTHING IN MY WAY ♪

♪ I'LL GET THERE ONE DAY ♪

♪ 'CAUSE I WANNA BE FAMOUS ♪

♪ NAH NAH-NAH-NAH-NAH ♪

♪ NAH-NAH NAH-NAH-NAH

NAH-NAH NAH-NAH-NAH ♪

♪ I WANNA BE,

I WANNA BE ♪

♪ I WANNA BE FAMOUS ♪

♪ I WANNA BE,

I WANNA BE ♪

♪ I WANNA BE FAMOUS ♪

(WHISTLING)

(FEEDBACK)

CHRIS: CAMPERS!

WELCOME TO THE SEMIFINALS.

TODAY,

WE REWARD OUR CHALLENGERS

WITH AN ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT

PANCAKE BREAKFAST.

THAT'S RIGHT,

GENUINE FOOD BYPRODUCTS

SERVED WITH FRESH INGREDIENTS

RELATIVELY CLOSE

TO THEIR EXPIRATION DATES.

SO I ACTUALLY MADE IT

TO THE FINAL THREE.

JUST GOES TO SHOW YOU HOW FAR

A BAD ATTITUDE CAN GET YOU.

WHATEVER.

I KNEW I'D MAKE IT TO THE END.

BIG SHOCKER.

I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE

WEIRD GOTH GIRL MADE IT.

I WANTED TO BELIEVE IT.

I DREAMT IT COULD BE TRUE.

AND NOW THE DAY

IS FINALLY HERE.

ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT PANCAKES!

YES!

♪ WE'RE GETTING PANCAKES!

WE'RE GETTING PANCAKES! ♪

DON'T BE SHY, DUDE.

FOUR WORDS:

"ALL YOU CAN EAT."

YOU GOT THE PANCAKES,

I GOT THE STOMACH.

(LAUGHS) TEE 'EM UP!

OH, YEAH!

NOW YOU'RE TALKING, BABY!

(LAUGHS)

YEAH, THE MONEY

WOULD BE AWESOME,

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT

WOULD BE SWEETER?

MAKING SURE HEATHER LOSES.

LUCKILY, I'M UP AGAINST

THE FREAK SHOW

AND FATTY GINORMOUS,

SO THEY MAY AS WELL

JUST GIVE ME THE CHECK.

I MEAN, COME ON.

I THINK WE ALL KNOW

WHO'S GONNA WIN.

PANCAKES, PANCAKES,

PANCAKES!

IF I WIN, I'M GONNA BUY

CAMP WAWANAKWA

SO I CAN BURN IT DOWN

AND TURN IT INTO A GRAVEYARD.

PANCAKES, PANCAKES, PANCAKES!

(LAUGHS)

WHEN I WIN, I'M THINKING

OF MY OWN SPIN-OFF SERIES--

"THE WORLD ACCORDING

TO HEATHER."

I'D NEVER WIN.

BUT IF I DID, I'D START

EVERY DAY WITH PANCAKES.

'CAUSE THEY'RE LIKE

LITTLE MINI SUNSHINES

FILLED WITH YUMMY FUN.

PERSONALLY, I'VE HAD ENOUGH

DRAMA HERE TO LAST A LIFETIME.

I MEAN, OWEN'S OKAY,

BUT EIGHT WEEKS OF HEATHER

WAS ABOUT AS MUCH FUN AS

A MOUTHFUL OF IMPACTED MOLARS.

SURE, EIGHT WEEKS WITH THESE

LOSERS IS CAUSE FOR INSANITY,

BUT AT LEAST THE MOTHER SHIP

KNOWS WHERE GWEN IS NOW

SO THEY CAN RETRIEVE HER.

AND GREENPEACE CAN BAG

AND TAG OWEN

AS THE HAZARDOUS WASTE

THAT HE IS.

BUT ALL

THE ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT PANCAKES

IN THE WORLD WOULDN'T BE SPECIAL

WITHOUT FRIENDS TO SHARE THEM.

(SIGHS)

SURE, OWEN'S DUMB LUCK

HAS WON HIM A FEW CHALLENGES,

BUT IT'S HIS ABILITY

NOT TO BE DISGUSTED

BY ANYTHING EDIBLE

THAT WORRIES ME.

YOU EVER NOTICE HOW MUCH

A TOILET SEAT

LOOKS LIKE A PANCAKE?

(LAUGHS)

AND LAZY.

UGH, SLOTHS COULD TAKE

A CUE FROM "SLOW-EN."

(LAUGHS) I SHOULD PROBABLY

SPIT THIS OUT.

(SNORES)

THANKFULLY,

GWEN HAS NO STRENGTHS.

SHE'S JUST

A LOW-RENT GUTTER PUNK

WITH DRAGON BREATH

AND UGLY HAIR.

HEATHER'S STRENGTH IS OBVIOUSLY

HER BOTTOMLESS PIT OF MEAN.

I'M BANKING ON HER MASSIVE EGO

TO BE HER DOWNFALL.

(SNORES)

CAMPERS,

WELCOME TO THE SEMIFINALS.

THE PRODUCERS RAN OUT

OF INSANE WAYS OF TORTURING YOU,

SO...

THEY ASKED THE OUSTED CAMPERS

FOR IDEAS.

TURNS OUT THEY HAD A LOT.

THEY PROVIDED US WITH

THE SICKEST, MOST TWISTED,

AND INSANE DARES IMAGINABLE

IN "TDI'S" VERSION OF...

SPIN THE BOTTLE!

STARTING WITH IZZY, TRENT,

CODY, JUSTIN,

NOAH, LESHAWNA, LINDSAY,

BETH, TYLER,

HAROLD, D.J. GEOFF,

BRIDGETTE,

DUNCAN, COURTNEY, EVA,

KATIE AND SADIE,

AND THE HOMESCHOOLED,

MISOGYNISTIC COUNTRY BOY,

EZEKIEL.

PUT THEM ALL TOGETHER,

AND WE'VE GOT A HIGH-STAKES GAME

OF "I TRIPLE DOG DARE YOU"!

WHAT IS THIS, GRADE 5?

WHY DON'T WE JUST DO SEVEN

MINUTES OF HEAVEN

IN A SKANKY BASEMENT CLOSET?

YEAH! GOOD CALL!

LET'S DO IT!

OW!

EACH PLAYER WILL TAKE TURNS

SPINNING THE BOTTLE.

THE CAMPER THAT YOU LAND ON

DETERMINES

THE DARE YOU'LL PERFORM.

YOU CAN TAKE THE DARE YOURSELF

AND WIN A GET-OUT-OF-DARE

FREEBIE

OR INFLICT THE DARE

ON A FELLOW CAMPER

IN HOPES

OF BOOTING THEM OUT.

AND IF WE REFUSE

TO DO THE DARE?

OH, NOT A GOOD OPTION.

ANYONE WHO CHICKENS OUT

OF THEIR DARE

WILL BE SENT DIRECTLY

TO THE DOCK OF SHAME,

BOARD THE BOAT OF LOSERS,

DO NOT GO TO BONFIRE,

DO NOT COLLECT MARSHMALLOW,

AND DO NOT GET

TO WIN $100,000.

WOW,

A SUDDEN-DEATH ELIMINATION.

GOOD ONE.

OKAY, WHO'S READY

TO HUMILIATE THEMSELVES FIRST?

OH, WHAT THE HECK.

LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH.

OKAY, SO HERE'S THE DEAL.

CHEF AND I HAVE

A LITTLE SIDE BET GOING.

WHOEVER PUKES FIRST

HAS TO PONY UP 100 BUCKS.

OKAY,

LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!

DUNCAN'S DARE.

LICK OWEN'S ARMPIT.

GWEN, YOU CAN PERFORM

THE DARE YOURSELF

OR DARE ONE

OF YOUR COMPETITORS TO DO IT.

(CHUCKLES) EITHER WAY,

SOMEONE'S LICKING SOME ARMPIT

IN THE NEXT MINUTE.

I TRIPLE DOG DARE HEATHER.

YOU COULD IMAGINE THAT YOU'RE

LICKING AN ICE-CREAM CONE.

SHUT UP, OWEN!

MINUS THE B.O.

I'M WARNING YOU!

OH, AND THE PIT HAIR.

(GAGS)

OH HO HO, MAN!

THAT WAS SO SICK.

I NEARLY PUKED.

NEARLY.

(GAGS)

EZEKIEL'S DARE IS...

CHEW YOUR OWN TOENAIL

SLOWLY.

GWEN!

I DARE GWEN.

DON'T CHOKE ON IT,

HONEY.

AH AH AH AH.

HE SAID CHEW IT SLOWLY.

(GULPS)

THERE.

SATISFIED?

VERY.

I'M JUST PICTURING TRENT

WATCHING THIS,

AND SOMETHING TELLS ME

HE WON'T BE EAGER

TO LOCK LIPS

WITH YOU ANYTIME SOON.

YOU SHOULD TALK,

PIT BREATH.

BETH.

RECHEWING

A WAD OF HAROLD'S GUM.

I WILL TAKE THE DARE!

BOTH: EW!

DUDE, IT'S CHEWED GUM.

HAROLD'S CHEWED GUM.

I KNOW, BUT IT MUST BE PRETTY

SPECIAL IF HE'S BEEN SAVING IT.

MMM.

FULL BODY.

A DELICATE, FRUITY AROMA

WITH A HINT OF CITRUS.

(LAUGHS)

ROBUST, YET BALANCED.

OH, SUMMERY.

OOOH!

AND A CRUNCHY CENTER.

(GAGS)

WHOO-HOO!

OWEN WINS THE FIRST FREEBIE.

AND A TETANUS SHOT

IF YOU WANT.

NAH, I'M GOOD.

THANKS.

THIS COULD BE HARDER

THAN I THOUGHT.

WELCOME BACK TO "TDI'S"

SEMIFINALS

AND A CHALLENGE WE LIKE TO CALL

"I TRIPLE DOG DARE YOU."

GWEN, YOU'RE UP NEXT.

DROP A TRAY OF ICE INTO

YOUR UNDIES AND LET THEM MELT.

THAT'S IT?

I CAN HANDLE THAT.

NOW THAT'S ONE COOL CHICK

WITH A FROSTY 'TUDE

CHILLIN' BY THE--

JUST GIVE ME

THE F-F-FREAKIN' F-FREEBIE.

MY TURN!

AND I'M TAKING THE DARE.

I DON'T CARE WHAT IT IS.

THERE IS NO WAY I WAS LETTING

THOSE NERDLINGS GET AHEAD OF ME.

I MEAN,

HOW BAD COULD THE DARE BE?

I'D ALREADY LICKED

OWEN'S ARMPIT.

SORRY.

SHUT UP, OWEN!

-TWICE IN A ROW'S GOTTA SUCK.

-I MEAN IT!

WELL, ESPECIALLY SINCE

I NEVER WASH IN THERE.

-UGH!

-NOT 'CAUSE I DON'T WANT TO.

I JUST FORGET.

(SLURPING)

HEY!

YOU DIDN'T PUKE THIS TIME!

(GAGS)

YOU STILL COOL?

OKAY, WE'LL GIVE HEATHER A FEW

MORE MINUTES ON LIFE SUPPORT

BEFORE WE START

THE NEXT ROUND.

OKAY, CHEF MADE SNACKS.

PB&J ANYONE?

(VOMITS)

NICE!

COME ON, IZZY!

BRING IT!

GIVE A PURPLE NURPLE

TO A SLEEPING BEAR.

(LAUGHS) YES!

OH, SOUNDS WICKED, MAN!

(LAUGHS)

WHAT'S A PURPLE NURPLE?

(SNORING AND GROWLING)

OH, HEY, THERE, MR. BEAR.

I'M JUST GONNA GIVE YOU

A LITTLE PINCH

AND BE RIGHT ON MY--

(FABRIC TEARING)

AHHH!

(ROARS)

(GROANS)

LICK OWEN'S TOE JAM.

OH, IS THAT WHAT

THAT BLACK GUNK IS?

I'LL USE MY FREEBIE.

GOOD CALL.

DRINK POWDERED FRUIT PUNCH

FROM THE COMMUNAL TOILET.

QUITE THE PREDICAMENT,

GWEN.

DO YOU USE THE FREEBIE

OR DO I SAVE IT FOR AN EVEN

SICKER DARE DOWN THE ROAD?

WHAT TO DO.

(INHALES DEEPLY)

I'M GOING IN.

SO FREAKIN' SICK.

CHEF'S GOING DOWN.

NO WAY.

THAT'S SO GROSS.

OH HO HO!

(LAUGHS)

(SLURPING)

(GAGS)

(VOMITS)

(BOTH GULP)

AT THIS RATE,

TRENT'S GONNA NEED A FUMIGATION

SQUAD JUST--

(BURPS)

EAT DOG FOOD.

YEAH, BABY!

MAN, SORRY, GUYS.

I KEEP GETTING

ALL THE GOOD ONES.

OKAY, DOWN, BOY!

HEEL!

DUDE, YOU HAVE TWO FREEBIES

YOU CAN USE.

BETTER YET,

YOU COULD DARE AN OPPONENT--

LIKE, SAY,

ONE WITHOUT A FREEBIE?

YOU STILL HAVE A BIT OF JELLY

ON YOUR LOWER LIP.

OH, GO STICK YOUR FACE BACK

IN THE TOILET.

IT'S COOL, BRO.

MY DOG DIGS THIS FOOD.

TIME TO FIND OUT

WHAT I'VE BEEN MISSING.

MEATY-TASTING.

OKAY,

THAT WAS SO GROSS!

(VOMITING, COUGHING)

IS THERE NOTHING

THESE FREAKS WON'T DO?!

(VOMITS)

I CAN'T BELIEVE

NO ONE'S DROPPED OUT

AND OWEN'S GOT 20 FREEBIES.

YEAH, BABY!

("TWINKLE, TWINKLE LITTLE STAR"

PLAYS)

GWEN AND HEATHER HAVE SQUAT,

BUT NOT TO WORRY.

THERE'S STILL PLENTY

TO BE MOTIVATED ABOUT.

("SHAVE AND A HAIRCUT" PLAYS)

IF YOU HELP ME

TAKE DOWN HEATHER,

I'LL SHARE MY WINNINGS

WITH YOU.

WHAT IF YOU DON'T WIN?

I'LL SWING FOR

A BOX OF DOUGHNUTS.

THE LADY DRIVES

A HARD BARGAIN.

DEAL!

CHRIS, I'D LIKE TO GIVE

AWAY HALF MY FREEBIES.

UH, WELL, OKAY.

ARE YOU SURE?

HELLO?!

IX-NAY ON THE ONSPIRACY-CAY!

THAT IS TOTALLY UNFAIR.

GET OUT YOUR RULE BOOK

AND DO YOUR RULE-CHECKING THING.

THEY'RE OBVIOUSLY GONNA

GANG UP AND WHOOP ME WITH DARES.

THERE HAS TO BE A RULE

ABOUT THIS KIND OF THING!

SORRY, THEM'S THE RULES.

NOT A RULE TO BE HAD.

-NADA.

-(GRUNTS)

DRINK A BLENDED PUREE

OF CHEF'S MYSTERY MEAT.

EENY, MEENY, MINEY...

HEATHER.

(CHICKEN CLUCKING)

(SIGHS)

FINALLY, I CATCH A BREAK.

THERE IS NO WAY LINDSAY

COULD THINK OF ANYTHING BAD.

OOH, YOU'RE NOT

GONNA LIKE THIS ONE.

HAVE YOUR HEAD SHAVED BY CHEF.

WHAT?!

LINDSAY RULES!

WHAT'S IT GOING TO BE,

HEATHER?

ARE YOU GOING TO DO THE DARE?

(CLIPPERS BUZZING)

OR THE WALK OF SHAME?

(HORN TOOTS)

(BUZZING)

(CASH REGISTER RINGS)

(BUZZING)

(BUZZING)

NOOOO!

(BUZZING STOPS)

HUH? WHA--

AGH!

WOW. WELL, THAT WAS

AN UNFORTUNATE ACCIDENT.

LOOKS LIKE HEATHER'S OUT.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

HE SHAVED MY HEAD!

TRUE, BUT YOU DIDN'T

ACTUALLY ACCEPT THE DARE.

IF YOU HAD,

YOU'D STILL BE BALD,

BUT AT LEAST

YOU'D BE IN THE GAME.

THAT WAS HARSH.

TOUGH BREAK.

(ECHOING) AGGHHH!

SORRY, THEM'S THE RULES.

I THOUGHT YOU SAID

THERE WEREN'T ANY RULES!

YEAH, I KNOW.

IT'S COMPLICATED.

BUT HERE'S THE RUB--

YOU LOSE, THEY WIN.

BOTH: NO WAY!

WE WON!

YES!

FINE! BUT YOU'LL BE HEARING

FROM MY LAWYERS!

YEAH, YEAH, I KNOW.

IT'S GONNA BE A LONG RIDE.

A LONG RIDE TO COURT

WHEN I SUE YOU

FOR EVERYTHING YOU'VE GOT!

AND THEN THERE WERE TWO.

TUNE IN TO SEE WHO WILL WIN

THE CHECK FOR $100,000

ON "TOTAL... DRAMA... ISLAND"!

YOU WANT DRAMA?!

YOU'LL BE PENNILESS!

JOBLESS!

YOUR NAME WILL BE MUD

ON EVERY BLOG

FROM HERE TO CAPE BRETON!