Total Drama (2007–2014): Season 1, Episode 24 - Are We There Yeti? - full transcript

The campers have a rude awakening, literally -- when they wake up in the middle of the wilderness.

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CHEF: LAST WEEK ON

"TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND,"

THOSE GOOD-FOR-NOTHING CAMPERS

GOT SWEPT AWAY BY A RAINSTORM

THAT LEFT THEM STRANDED

ON A DESERTED ISLAND.

MEANWHILE, THE CHUBBY ONE

DRIFTED ASHORE IN HIS OUTHOUSE

AND MADE A NEW FRIEND WHO HAS

AN I.Q. ALMOST AS HIGH AS HIS.

GRUESOME CHICK BUILT A RAFT



FOR HER AND THE DELINQUENT,

WHICH LEFT MOUTHY GIRL

TO FEND FOR HERSELF.

SOMEHOW, THEY ALL ENDED UP

TOGETHER IN A TREE HOUSE

CONFESSING THEIR SINS.

THAT'S WHEN THEY CAME UP

WITH A CRACKER-JACK PLAN

TO FIND OUT WHO

WAS MAKING FIRE.

BUT ALL THEY FOUND WAS THE

SECRET LOCATION

OF OUR PRODUCTION-CREW CAMP.

YEAH, THAT'S ME DOING THE RECAP.



YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?!

SINCE CHRIS IS OFF HOSTING

SOME FROUFROU AWARDS SHOW,

I'M FILLING IN AS HOST.

AND GUESS WHAT?

I AIN'T HAPPY ABOUT IT EITHER.

SO SIT BACK, SHUT UP,

AND WATCH TONIGHT'S EPISODE

OF "TOTAL... DRAMA... ISLAND"!

♪ DEAR MOM AND DAD,

I'M DOING FINE ♪

♪ YOU GUYS ARE ON MY MIND ♪

♪ YOU ASKED ME

WHAT I WANTED TO BE ♪

♪ AND NOW I THINK THE ANSWER

IS PLAIN TO SEE ♪

♪ I WANT TO BE FAMOUS ♪

♪ I WANT TO LIVE CLOSE

TO THE SUN ♪

♪ WELL, PACK YOUR BAGS

'CAUSE I'VE ALREADY WON ♪

♪ EVERYTHING TO PROVE,

NOTHING IN MY WAY ♪

♪ I'LL GET THERE ONE DAY ♪

♪ 'CAUSE I WANNA BE FAMOUS ♪

♪ NAH NAH-NAH-NAH-NAH ♪

♪ NAH-NAH NAH-NAH-NAH

NAH-NAH NAH-NAH-NAH ♪

♪ I WANNA BE,

I WANNA BE ♪

♪ I WANNA BE FAMOUS ♪

♪ I WANNA BE,

I WANNA BE ♪

♪ I WANNA BE FAMOUS ♪

(WHISTLING)

(SNEEZES)

(BUZZING)

(SNORING)

(COUGHS)

WHAT? WHO'S THAT?

WHERE ARE WE?!

HOW DID WE GET HERE?

-CHRIS?

-MOMMY!

EVERYBODY JUST SHUT UP!

HOW YOU GOT HERE

IS NOT YOUR CONCERN!

WHAT HAPPENED TO CHRIS?

NONE OF YOUR GOSH-DARN BUSINESS

WHAT HAPPENED TO CHRIS.

I'M IN CHARGE NOW,

AND I'M GONNA MAKE YOU WISH

YOU WERE NEVER BORN.

YOUR MISSION IS TO FIND YOUR WAY

OUT OF THE FOREST OR DIE TRYING.

YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS.

WE WILL DIE.

THEY LEFT US IN THE WOODS.

ALONE. AGAIN.

WITH HEATHER.

I'D RATHER GO SWIMMING

IN THE SHARK-INFESTED WATER.

HERE'S HOW IT WORKS.

TEAM ONE--

DELINQUENT AND CHUBBY.

TEAM TWO--

GRIM AND GRIMMER.

EVERYTHING YOU NEED

IS IN THESE BAGS.

YOU'LL NAVIGATE YOUR WAY NORTH

TO BASE CAMP.

THE FIRST TEAM TO TAG THE CAMP

TOTEM POLE WINS.

AND HERE'S A TIP.

BETTER SET UP CAMP BEFORE

SUNDOWN,

BECAUSE ONCE NIGHTFALL HITS,

YOU WON'T EVEN SEE YOUR

TREMBLING HAND

IN FRONT

OF YOUR TERRIFIED FACE

UNLESS YOU GOT NIGHT-VISION

GOGGLES.

BUT YOU DON'T.

(LAUGHS)

OH, PLEASE, PLEASE,

DON'T LEAVE US HERE.

I'M BEGGING YOU.

WE WON'T SURVIVE!

GRAB A HOLD OF YOUR GUT,

SOLDIER!

DUNCAN'S A LOT OF THINGS,

BUT HE IS DEFINITELY

NOT A CHICKEN.

HE'S UP TO SOMETHING.

I CAN TELL.

AND I AM GOING TO FIND OUT

WHAT IT IS.

THIS IS TOTALLY BONKERS!

WE'LL BE SCARFED DOWN

BY A GRIZZLY!

OH,

I WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT THAT.

YOU'LL WISH YOU SAW A GRIZZLY

ONCE YOU MEET UP

WITH OLD SASQUATCHANAKWA.

HE'S ONE MEAN MAMMA JAMMA.

-(GASPS)

-GOOD LUCK, TROOPS!

TRY NOT TO DIE!

THIS ISN'T LEGAL!

YOU CAN'T DO THIS!

(GASPS)

HEY, PEACHES, FILE IT

WITH THE NETWORK LAWYERS.

WHERE DO THEY THINK

THEY'RE GOING?

THEY CAN'T SURVIVE OUT THERE.

IT'S SUICIDE, IT'S--

HEY, I GOT AN IDEA.

LET'S SEE WHAT HAPPENS

IF YOU SHUT UP ALREADY.

OKAY, NOTHING WOULD GIVE ME

GREATER PLEASURE

THAN DITCHING HER GRIM LITTLE

BUTT IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE,

BUT THIS IS THE WILD.

I NEED SOMEONE TO SHOVE IN

FRONT OF ME IF A BEAR COMES BY.

I GOT TO SAY, I WAS JAZZED

TO BE PAIRED WITH OWEN.

I MEAN, COME ON,

IF YOU WERE A GRIZZLY,

WHO'D YOU RATHER BE DIPPING

IN BARBECUE SAUCE?

(WHEEZING)

WHERE ARE WE GOING?

I JUST WANTED TO GET AWAY

FROM THE GIRLS,

PSYCH THEM OUT A BIT,

YOU KNOW?

OKAY,

LET'S SEE WHAT WE GOT.

YEP, YEP.

IT'S ALL GOOD.

EXCEPT ONE THING'S MISSING.

FO-O-O-O-O-O-OD!

(BIRDS SQUAWKING)

(DISTANT ROARING)

WHAT WAS THAT?

WE'RE GONNA DIE OUT HERE.

WE'LL BE OUT OF THE WOODS

IN NO TIME

THANKS TO THESE BABIES.

YOU STOLE THOSE FROM CHEF?!

SWEET!

WHAT CAN I SAY?

I'M A HARDENED CRIMINAL.

WITH THESE BABIES,

WE CAN SEE AS CLEAR AS DAY.

(LAUGHS) AWESOME.

LET ME SEE THOSE.

(SIZZLING)

AH HA HA! MY EYES!

I'VE BEEN BLINDED!

ALL RIGHT, THAT'S ENOUGH.

WE'VE GOT A CHALLENGE TO WIN.

NOW, GRAB THE MAP WHILE

I FIGURE OUT WHERE WE ARE.

SURE, BUT THE MAP ISN'T MUCH USE

WITHOUT A COMPASS, IS IT?

(CHUCKLES)

OKAY, THE SUN ROSE

FROM THE EAST,

WHICH MEANS THAT'S NORTH,

SO CAMP IS THAT-A-WAY.

ARE YOU SURE?

I THINK THE SUN ROSE

FROM OVER THERE,

WHICH MEANS THE CAMP

IS THAT-A-WAY.

UH, YEAH,

I THINK YOU'RE WRONG.

WE'RE GOING THIS WAY.

LET'S MOVE.

UH...

CAMP IS NORTH,

SO WE JUST FOLLOW THE RIVER.

EASY.

YEAH, AS LONG AS WE'RE NOT

MUNCHED BY SASQATCHAMACALLIT.

WOULD YOU RELAX?

THAT'S OBVIOUSLY

JUST ANOTHER STUPID,

MADE-UP MYTH TO SCARE US.

I DON'T BELIEVE IN SASQUATCHES.

I DON'T.

AND THEY WOULDN'T, LIKE,

DROP US HERE

IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FOREST

IF THERE REALLY WAS ONE.

WHAT IF WE DIED?

WOULD THEY?

(ANIMAL GROWLING SOFTLY)

(GROANS)

I'D KILL FOR SOME BUG SPRAY.

THESE MOSQUITOES THINK

I'M AN ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT BUFFET.

(GASPS) AH!

I THINK A MOSQUITO BIT

THE INSIDE OF MY THROAT.

(GAGS) IT ITCHES.

(COUGHS)

OKAY, I CAN'T BELIEVE

I'M SAYING THIS,

BUT I THINK

I ACTUALLY MISS CHRIS.

ANYTHING IS BETTER

THAN CHEF PSYCHOPATH.

WHY DO CAMP COOKS ALWAYS LOOK

LIKE ESCAPED CRIMINALS?

CAN YOU HEAR ME, CHRIS?

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED

YOUR LITTLE DAY OFF

WHILE WE PUT UP WITH

YOUR PSYCHOTIC SIDEKICK,

WHO, BY THE WAY,

WASN'T EVEN DOING ANYTHING.

HE JUST DITCHED US

IN THE WOODS.

"PARDON, MONSIEUR."

(SPEAKS FRENCH)

HMM. (CHUCKLES)

DID YOU CATCH WHAT CHEF SAID

ABOUT THE SASQUATCHANAKWA?

THAT REALLY FREAKED ME OUT.

WHOA!

DID YOU KNOW THAT SOME PEOPLE

THINK BIGFOOT

IS THE MISSING LINK

BETWEEN HUMANS AND MONKEYS?

(GRUNTING) REALLY?

I'D SAY THE MISSING MONKEY

IS RIGHT HERE.

OW!

NO, I'M SERIOUS.

WITNESSES SAY HE'S 8 FEET TALL,

400 POUNDS,

AND HAS B.O. THAT WOULD

MAKE YOU HURL CHUNKS FROM,

LIKE, 200 YARDS.

(CHUCKLES) COME ON,

IF HE REALLY EXISTED,

DON'T YOU THINK SOMEBODY

WOULD HAVE CAUGHT HIM BY NOW?

NAH, HE'S CRAFTY.

HEY...

HEY, IT'S THE GIRLS.

AND THEY'RE GOING

THE WRONG WAY!

TYPICAL CHICKS WITH ZERO SENSE

OF DIRECTION!

HEY, HERE'S A POINTER!

TRY CHECKING A MAP!

UH, WE WOULD IF WE HAD ONE,

BUT THIS COMPASS TELLS US

THAT'S NORTH!

YOU KNOW? LIKE WHERE CHEF SAID

THE CAMP IS?!

UGH!

ENJOY THE VIEW UP THERE,

SUCKERS!

GREAT.

NOW WE'RE BEHIND.

WE'LL JUST HAVE TO JUMP

AND DIVE INTO THE RIVER.

AFTER MY BIG CLIFF DIVE

ON THE FIRST DAY OF CAMP,

I WAS KING OF THE WORLD.

I'M GOING TO DIE NOW.

I'M GOING TO FRICKIN' DIE NOW.

I CONQUERED MY BIGGEST FEAR

AND HELPED MY TEAM WIN!

IT WAS AWESOME.

COME ON, BIG GUY.

YAHHHH!

OH! CRAP!

(SCREAMING)

BUT THEN,

A FEW DAYS LATER,

MY FEAR CAME GURGLING BACK UP

LIKE A DAY-OLD INDIAN BUFFET.

(FARTS)

(LAUGHS) OH, NO.

UH, I DON'T DO

DAREDEVIL DIVES ANYMORE.

BEEN THERE, DONE THAT.

NO CAN DO.

THEN NO WORRIES.

I'LL DO IT FOR YOU!

(BOTH SCREAMING)

(SPLASH)

OKAY, LOOK, WE BOTH KNOW

WE DON'T LIKE EACH OTHER,

AND WE BOTH PROBABLY WISH

WE COULD PUSH EACH OTHER

OFF A CLIFF RIGHT NOW.

THE THOUGHT

HAD CROSSED MY MIND.

BUT I THINK WE CAN ALSO AGREE

THAT WE HAVE TO WIN

THIS CHALLENGE.

WE CAN'T AFFORD TO LET THE GUYS

WIN INVINCIBILITY.

AND WHO KNOWS WHAT

KIND OF EVIL BONDING

THEY'RE UP TO RIGHT NOW.

(FARTS)

NICE ONE.

(FARTS)

OH-HO! EXTRA POINTS

FOR THE STINK FACTOR.

(LAUGHS)

SO WE'RE A TEAM ON THIS,

RIGHT?

RIGHT.

(GASPS)

BOTH:

THEY'RE GETTING AWAY!

USING THE RIVER

WAS BRILLIANT.

WELL PLAYED, BOYS.

WELL PLAYED.

(GASPS)

WHOA!

AAH!

(BOTH GROWLING)

AAH!

(SCREAMS)

BOTH: AHH!

AGH!

I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY STOLE

ALL OF OUR SUPPLIES.

NEVER UNDERESTIMATE

A KNOWN CRIMINAL.

EW, I HOPE WE FIND

THE CAMP SOON.

-YOU REALLY STINK.

-YOU SHOULD TALK.

I CAN SMELL YOUR ARMPITS

FROM HERE.

(GASPS) HEATHER, LOOK!

IT'S A SASQUATCH FOOTPRINT.

OOH, I'M SO SCARED.

PUH-LEASE,

YOU'RE EMBARRASSING YOURSELVES.

SHH!

AGH!

(GROWLING)

(SCREAMS)

WELL, HELLO,

MR. SQUIRREL.

AND HELLO TO YOU,

MR. RACCOON.

(SCREAMS)

OH, GOOD DAY,

MR. SASQUATCHANAKWA.

(GASPS)

RUN!

AGH!

(ALL SCREAMING)

SASQUATCHANAKWA!

-DUNCAN?

-OWEN?

-HEATHER?

-DUNCAN?

-HEATHER?

-GWEN?

-GWEN?

-OWEN?

HEATHER: NOW THAT WE'VE

TAKEN ROLL CALL,

WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?

DID YOU SEE THE SIZE

OF THAT THING?

DUNCAN:

I COULD HAVE TAKEN HIM.

GWEN: IS THAT WHY YOU WERE

SCREAMING LIKE A LITTLE GIRL?

DUNCAN: RIGHT. WELL,

I WAS JUST FAKING HIM OUT.

ANYWAY, I THINK WE'RE

SAFE HERE FOR A WHILE.

OWEN: UH, THAT DEPENDS

ON WHAT YOU MEAN BY SAFE.

HEATHER: I NEVER THOUGHT

I'D SAY THIS,

BUT PLEASE TELL ME THAT

TONGUE IN MY EAR IS OWEN.

OWEN: NO, THAT WOULD BE THE...

BATS!

(ALL SCREAMING)

DO SASQUATCHES

GET MEANER AT NIGHT?

I DON'T KNOW.

BUT I DON'T REALLY WANT

TO FIND OUT.

(SNARLING)

(SINGING MELODICALLY)

(GAGS)

(SNORTING)

SINCE YOU GUYS STILL HAVE

SUPPLIES AND A MAP,

I GUESS YOU BEAT US.

UGH.

SPEAK FOR YOURSELF.

IT'S OBVIOUS

THEY KICKED OUR BUTTS.

FINE, WHATEVER.

YOU BEAT US.

OH, LOOK, IF YOU GUYS WANT

TO BUNK WITH US, IT'S COOL.

WHY DON'T YOU SET UP CAMP

WHILE WE LOOK FOR FIREWOOD?

UGH, THE DAMSEL IN DISTRESS

THING MADE ME WANT TO PUKE.

SHH! WHO CARES?

LET THEM THINK THEY'RE BIG,

STRONG BOYS FOR NOW.

IT'S SO EASY TO FOOL GUYS.

THEY'RE LIKE LITTLE KIDS.

THEY NEVER SEE IT COMING.

I'VE GOT TO ADMIT,

JUST WHEN I THINK HEATHER

CAN'T GET MORE UNDERHANDED,

SHE GETS MORE UNDERHANDED.

TOYING WITH THE BOYS--

WELL PLAYED.

YOU REALLY THINK WE CAN TRUST

THEM WITH OUR STUFF BACK THERE?

AS IF.

TRUST NO ONE.

HEY, I SMOOSHED THE ENERGY BARS

INTO A BIG, CHEWY BALL.

ANY TAKERS?

NO.

BUT I'LL TAKE

YOUR SLEEPING BAG.

(SNORING)

I CAN'T SLEEP.

I'M TOO... SCARED.

CAN I JUST...?

UH, YEAH, SURE.

I FEEL SO SAFE

IN YOUR ARMS.

YOU WON'T FALL ASLEEP,

RIGHT?

YEP,

YOU CAN COUNT ON IT.

(SNORING)

DUDE! WAKE UP.

THE FIRE, THE GIRLS, OUR STUFF.

IT'S GONE!

WHAT?!

OH, THE MAP!

(GROWLS)

(BOTH LAUGH)

DO WE FEEL BAD?

NO WAY.

THEY STOLE OUR STUFF FIRST.

ALL IS FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR,

AND THIS IS DEFINITELY WAR NOW.

OKAY,

THAT WAS SO MUCH FUN.

I JUST WISH I COULD HAVE SEEN

THE LOOKS ON THEIR FACES.

AND FOR THE RECORD, GWEN WAS

JUST AS INTO SCAMMING THEM

AS I WAS.

OH, I CAN'T BELIEVE I LET MYSELF

GET SUCKERED BY A CHICK.

UH, TWO CHICKS.

WHAT CAN I SAY?

YOU'RE WEAK.

YOU'VE SUCCUMBED TO THE PRIMAL

URGES OF...

(SNIFFS)

DO YOU SMELL THAT?

WHAT?

IT'S SWEET AND CINNAMONY

AND--I'VE ALMOST GOT IT.

STICKY BUNS!

(SNIFFS) MMM.

THAT'S SOME OVEN LOVIN'.

HOLD ON, BABY.

I'M COMING FOR YA.

NO. NO, WAIT!

WE MADE IT!

OH, CRAP.

HA!

GO FOR IT, DUDE!

STICKY BUNS!

NO! DUDE!

WE WERE SO CLOSE.

WHY?

WELL, THEY'RE FRESH

FROM THE OVEN.

THOSE ARE MINE!

I WAS LOOKING FORWARD

TO THOSE BUNS!

ALL RIGHT, GAME'S OVER.

GIRLS WIN, GUYS LOSE.

WE LOST THE CHALLENGE

FOR A FEW STICKY BUNS?

WHAT WAS THAT?

DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY STICKY BUNS

I COULD HAVE BOUGHT

WITH $100,000?

(LAUGHS) O.M.G.

THAT WAS SO PATHETIC.

I HOPE THOSE BUNS

WERE WORTH IT.

WOW.

WE KIND OF SCORED THAT ONE.

I THINK DUNCAN'S

REALLY MAD AT ME.

MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE SAVED HIM

A STICKY BUN.

THIS WAS SUPPOSED

TO BE MY DAY!

I HAD IT ALL PLANNED.

I WAS GONNA EAT

MY STICKY BUNS

AND RELAX WITH ONE

OF HEATHER'S FACIALS

WHILE I FINISHED READING

GWEN'S DIARY

AND CLEAN MY TOENAILS.

THAT REMINDS ME--

YOU NEED TO SHARPEN THIS.

THEN I WAS GONNA LOOT

THE REST OF OWEN'S SNACK STASH.

-(GASPS)

-BUT YOU ALL RUINED IT!

SO, HERE'S YOUR

INVINCI-DARN-BILITY!

YOU!

CHOKE ON THIS, GLUTTON.

YOU'RE FINISHED!

(SCOFFS) GOOD.

GET ME OUT OF HERE

AND BACK TO JUVIE.

AT LEAST WITH CONVICTS,

YOU KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT.

LEFT, LEFT,

LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT!

COME ON, SOLDIER.

DO I BEAR A STRIKING RESEMBLANCE

TO SOMEBODY WHO'S GOT ALL DAY?

WHAT CAN I SAY?

YOU HAD THE CHANCE

TO ROCK AN ALLIANCE WITH ME,

BUT YOU BLEW IT.

YOU PLAYED THE GAME WELL.

SORRY YOU HAD TO LOSE

OVER STICKY BUNS.

I-I-I--

(BURPS)

WHATEVER.

SO, LOOKS LIKE WE MADE IT

TO THE FINAL THREE.

I JUST WANT TO THANK EVERYONE

WHO GOT ME TO THE FINAL THREE.

COURTNEY,

I FEEL YOUR PAIN, GIRL.

YOU SHOULD HAVE NOT BEEN

CHEATED OFF LIKE THAT.

NOAH, YOU ARE ONE

SERIOUSLY SMART GUY.

DON'T THINK I DIDN'T NOTICE.

AND LINDSAY, THE MOST

FASHIONABLE GIRL ON THE ISLAND,

NEXT TO ME, YOU KNOW YOU'LL

ALWAYS BE ONE OF MY BFFS.

I'VE GOT TO ADMIT,

I DIDN'T THINK I'D MAKE IT

THIS FAR.

(YAWNS)

BUT NOW THAT I HAVE,

I MIGHT AS WELL WIN.

SO...

IT'S OWEN AND TWO HOT CHICKS.

(LAUGHS) PAR-TAY!

JUST GET ME OUT OF THIS PLACE.

AAHH!

(SNARLS)

(GIGGLES)

WHEW!

-(ROARS)

-AHHHHH!

(GIGGLES)

WHEW!

-(ROARS)

-AHHHHH!

OHH! WHEW.

NO! WHEW.

NO! WHEW. NO!

WHEW.