Total Drama (2007–2014): Season 1, Episode 18 - Off the Chain - full transcript

The campers are challenged to compete in The Tour de Wawanakwa where they must not only race a treacherous Motor Cross Course, but build their own bicycles using supplies from the Arts & Crafts Lodge.

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CHRIS: LAST TIME ON

TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND.

IN A CHALLENGE

OF HIDE-AND-SEEK,

CAMPERS HAD TO AVOID CAPTURE

BY CHEF "IT"

OR JOIN HIS GUERILLA TACTICS

TO TAG FELLOW CAMPERS.

SOME HAD WEAK HIDING SPOTS,

WHILE OTHERS WON INVINCIBILITY.

MEANWHILE, WITH SOME



SUBTLE NUDGING,

THE GUYS CONVINCED

OWEN TO STAY LOYAL

TO THEIR ALLIANCE.

EVEN WITHOUT

LOVESICK GEOFF'S HELP,

THE GUYS BANISHED BRIDGETTE.

SO IT WAS GEOFF

WHO PAID A HEFTY PRICE

FOR STAYING LOYAL TO HIS GIRL.

MAN, THAT STINKS,

GEOFF, AND SO DID SHE.

WILL THE GUYS EVER TRUST

GEOFF AGAIN?



WILL THE GIRLS

FORM AN ALLIANCE?

WILL I BE STUCK

HOSTING REALITY TV

FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE?

FIND OUT ON THIS EPISODE

OF TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND.

CHORUS: ♪ DEAR MOM AND DAD,

I'M DOING FINE ♪

♪ YOU GUYS ARE ON MY MIND ♪

♪ YOU ASKED ME

WHAT I WANTED TO BE ♪

♪ AND NOW I THINK THE ANSWER

IS PLAIN TO SEE ♪

♪ I WANT TO BE FAMOUS ♪

♪ I WANT TO LIVE CLOSE

TO THE SUN ♪

♪ WELL PACK YOUR BAGS

CAUSE I'VE ALREADY WON ♪

♪ EVERYTHING TO PROVE

NOTHING IN MY WAY ♪

♪ I'LL GET THERE ONE DAY ♪

♪ 'CAUSE I WANT TO BE FAMOUS ♪

♪ NANA NA'NA NAANA NANA NANA

NA NANA NANA NA ♪

♪ I WANT TO BE, I WANT TO BE,

I WANT TO BE FAMOUS ♪

♪ I WANT TO BE, I WANT TO BE,

I WANT TO BE FAMOUS ♪

(WHISTLING

I WANT TO BE FAMOUS)

(BUZZING)

CAN I SEE THAT FOR A SEC?

NOW MAKE YOURSELF USEFUL

AND CLIP MY TOENAILS.

(GEOFF WAILING)

OOH, SOUNDS LIKE GEOFF'S

HAVING A HARD TIME ACCEPTING

BRIDGETTE'S BEEN

KICKED OFF, HUH?

YEAH. HE'S SO WEAK.

GEOFF: ♪ BABY, COME BACK ♪

♪ ANY KIND OF FOOL CAN SEE ♪

AND S-SOMETHING, SOMETHING.

♪ ABOUT YOU ♪

♪ HEY, BRIDGE ♪

♪ SENDING OUT MUTUAL LOVE TO ♪

♪ WHEREVER IT IS THAT

THE BOAT OF LOSERS TAKES YOU ♪

UM, WE BETTER GO CHECK ON HIM.

WAIT. WHAT ABOUT OUR GAME?

CHECK ON HIM?

SINCE WHEN DID HE START

HAVING FEELINGS?

SINCE THEY STARTED UP

THEIR GUYS' ALLIANCE.

DUNCAN'S NO FOOL.

HE NEEDS GEOFF'S VOTE

TO STAY IN IT.

HEY, MAYBE WE SHOULD TRY

FORMING A GIRLS'

ALLIANCE AGAIN...

OR NOT.

ATTABOY,

HUG IT OUT.

LOOK, MAN.

VOTING BRIDGETTE OFF

WAS JUST A STRATEGIC MOVE.

IF THE GUY ALLIANCE STANDS

STRONG, WE CAN WIN THIS.

SO ARE YOU IN?

GEOFF: I DON'T KNOW, MAN.

GOING ON WITHOUT

BRIDGE IS LIKE--

(SNIFFS)

OH, IS THAT BACON?

AH, CRAP!

DID I MISS BREAKFAST?

I THINK GEOFF'S IN.

(FEEDBACK FROM MICROPHONE)

CHRIS: MORNING, CAMPERS.

YOUR NEXT CHALLENGE AWAITS YOU

AT THE ARTS-AND-CRAFTS CENTER.

WELCOME TO

THE ARTS-AND-CRAFTS CENTER.

MORE LIKE

THE ARTS-AND-CRAP CENTER.

YEAH.

IT USED TO BE AN OUTHOUSE,

BUT NOW IT'S WHERE

CHEF PARKS HIS ROAD HOG.

DUNCAN: BEAUT!

GEOFF: TOO AWESOME!

CHRIS: WHICH BRINGS US

TO YOUR CHALLENGE...

BUILDING YOUR OWN WHEELS.

HOT RODS! YES!

AWESOME! GIVE ME FIVE!

WOO-HOO! WOO...HOO.

WOO.

YOU'LL FIND ALL THE PARTS

YOU NEED IN OUR BIKE DEPOT.

BICYCLES!

LESS AWESOME,

BUT STILL GOOD, RIGHT?

ONCE YOU'VE

COLLECTED THE BASICS,

TRICK THEM OUT ANY WAY

YOU WANT USING PROPS

FROM THE ARTS-AND-CRAFTS CENTER.

(ENGINE STARTS)

BEST DESIGN WINS.

AND TO PROVE I'M A NICE GUY,

I'M EVEN THROWING

IN A BIKE MANUAL.

EW! IT'S FURRY!

COOL! MOLD SPORES.

FREAK. WE GET FIRST DIBS.

FINALLY, A CHALLENGE

I CAN GET BEHIND.

I USED TO BUILD BIKES BACK

HOME WITH MY BROTHERS

ALL THE TIME.

OKAY, SO I USED TO STEAL

THEM FROM THE DWEEBS

DOWN THE STREET AND CRASH THEM

INTO THE SCHOOL WALL.

THE POINT IS,

THIS IS SOMETHING I KNOW.

OH-OH-OH!

I'M GONNA MAKE MY DREAM BIKE!

OH, MY GOSH, ME, TOO.

EVERY YEAR AT CHRISTMAS,

I ASKED FOR A SUNSET SALLY BIKE

BUT NEVER GOT ONE.

REALLY?

SANTA NEVER...BROUGHT

YOU YOUR CHRISTMAS WISH?

MAN, THAT JUST AIN'T RIGHT.

GUYS, THIS ISN'T

A CHRISTMAS WISH CONTEST.

IF WE WANT TO VOTE

THE CHICKS OUT,

THEN OUR BIKES

HAVE TO KICK BUTT.

CAPICHE?

RIGHT. WAILING CHOPPERS.

KICK BUTT. YES!

LET'S DO IT!

GUYS' ALLIANCE.

WHOO-HOO!

(BIRD WARBLING)

THE GUYS THINK

THEY'RE SO STEALTH,

BUILDING THEIR LITTLE ALLIANCES.

IT'S KIND OF CUTE, REALLY.

BUT WHY WORK ON YOUR OWN BIKE

WHEN YOU CAN GET SOMEONE

TO DO IT FOR YOU.

COULD I JUST BORROW HER

FOR A SEC?

SEE THAT MOTOR THINGY

WITH ALL THE FANCY EXHAUSTS?

DISMANTLE IT.

AND MAKE IT FAST,

BEFORE CHEF GETS BACK.

BUT WHAT ABOUT MY BIKE?

I WANT TO WIN, TOO.

OF COURSE, YOU DO.

BUT LOOK AT IT THIS WAY.

HOW ELSE CAN I SAVE

YOUR BUTT UNLESS I WIN?

WE'RE BFFs, REMEMBER?

WOULD I STEER YOU WRONG?

OKAY, MAYBE I'M "NAVEY,"

BUT HEATHER'S ALWAYS BEEN

TRUSTWORTHY TO ME BEFORE...

THAT I KNOW OF.

OH, UNH-UNH.

WE'RE GOING IN FIRST.

YOU'LL JUST HAVE

TO WAIT YOUR TURN.

OR YOU CAN SAVE YOURSELF

THE EFFORT AND NOT EVEN BOTHER.

-(SQUAWKS)

-HEATHER: OH-AAH!

GOT TO LOVE KARMA.

(GRUNTS)

(OWEN GRUNTS)

(OWEN FARTS)

(WHISTLING)

LESHAWNA: WHERE DOES THIS GO?

THAT'S THE PEDAL.

HAVEN'T YOU EVER

RIDDEN A BIKE BEFORE?

OF COURSE, I'VE RIDDEN

A BIKE BEFORE!

I'VE JUST NEVER BUILT

ONE FROM SCRATCH.

THAT'S ALL.

THERE'S TOO MANY PIECES.

WELL, YOU BETTER START

READING THE MANUAL,

BECAUSE THE GUYS HAVE

AN ALLIANCE GOING,

AND IT LOOKS LIKE

HEATHER AND LINDSAY

ARE STILL SHARING A BRAIN,

WHICH MEANS

IT'S US AGAINST THEM.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

HOW HARD CAN IT BE?

IZZY: WOO-HOO!

HEY, LESHAWNA!

COME WITH ME, OKAY?

I'VE ALREADY BUILT MY BIKE.

HOW DID YOU DO THAT SO FAST?

OH, MY BROTHER WAS A MECHANIC

BEFORE HE GOT RUN OVER

AND DEVELOPED A FEAR

OF MOTOR VEHICLES.

COME ON! LET'S TAKE IT

FOR A TEST-DRIVE!

-WHOO-HOO!

-ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE ON.

THAT GIRL MIGHT BE CRAZY,

BUT I WASN'T ABOUT

TO PASS UP

AN OPPORTUNITY TO WIN THIS RACE.

HER BIKE LOOKED FINE.

SWEET. YOUR EXTRA WEIGHT WILL

TOTALLY HELP OUT WITH OUR SPEED.

UH, I'M GONNA TAKE

THAT AS A COMPLIMENT.

OKAY.

AAH! AAH!

LINDSAY: HEY, LOOK.

IT'S AN UGLY DOLL WITH

PRETTY HAIR, JUST LIKE YOU.

I'M GONNA USE HER FOR MY BIKE.

I THINK SOMETIMES

I SAY THE WRONG THING.

ONCE I TOLD MY MATH TEACHER

THAT HIS NEW HAIRPIECE LOOKED

LIKE MY DOG'S BUTT,

BUT HE TOTALLY TOOK IT

THE WRONG WAY.

MY DOG HAS THE CUTEST,

CURLY, LITTLE BUTT.

IT WAS A COMPLIMENT.

(LAUGHS) CUTE.

JUST DON'T FORGET TO BUILD

MY BIKE FIRST,

SO I CAN PROTECT YOU

FROM THE VOTE.

THIS OTHER TIME, I GOT TRAPPED

IN A THREE-WAY CALLING ATTACK,

AND I TOLD ONE FRIEND

THAT THE OTHER ONE

WAS CHEATING ON

HER BOYFRIEND OR SOMETHING.

ANYWAY, SHE TOTALLY

GOT DUMPED THAT DAY.

IT WAS SO RANDOM.

I WONDER IF IT HAD SOMETHING

TO DO WITH THE CALL.

HEY, DO YOU GUYS REMEMBER

YOUR FIRST BIKE RIDE?

OH, YEAH.

I WIPED OUT SO BAD,

I POPPED MY COLLARBONE.

YOU COULD SEE IT STICKING

RIGHT OUT OF MY SHOULDER.

IT WAS WICKED.

I FLEW SO FAR OVER

MY HANDLEBARS

THAT I SKID FOR A MILE.

(LAUGHS) SKIN WAS

HANGING OFF ME IN CHUNKS.

OWEN: (LAUGHS)

OH, THAT'S NOTHING.

I POPPED MY ARM RIGHT

OUT OF MY SOCKET.

IT TOOK THREE DOCTORS

TO HOLD ME DOWN

WHILE THEY SLINGSHOT IT

BACK INTO PLACE.

(ALL SIGH)

ALL: GOOD TIMES.

(FEEDBACK FROM MICROPHONE)

CHRIS: CAMPERS,

TIME TO JUDGE YOUR BIKES.

PUT YOUR PEDAL TO THE METAL

AND MEET ME

AT THE CRAFT CENTER.

WELL, CAMPERS,

WE GAVE YOU THE PARTS.

LET'S SEE WHAT YOU

CAME UP WITH.

EXCELLENT AERODYNAMICS,

HEATHER.

IT ONLY WEIGHS 2 OUNCES.

GWEN: LIKE HER BRAIN.

SPOOKY YET PRACTICAL.

WELL DONE.

WICKED "MAD MAX" MOBILE, DUDE!

GO AHEAD.

RING HER BELL.

THE REAL BIKE HAS SOUND

EFFECTS LIKE THIS.

(NEIGHING)

DUDE? SERIOUSLY?

THIS IS LAME.

NOW THIS IS A HOT ROD.

NI-ICE!

I CALL HER...BRIDGETTE.

BRIDGETTE!

BRIDGETTE, I'M SORRY.

I SHOULD HAVE MADE THEM

VOTE SOMEONE ELSE OFF,

EVEN THOUGH YOU WERE STINKING.

YOU WERE ALSO

KIND OF A THREAT

BECAUSE YOU'RE NICE

AND TOTALLY ATHLETIC

AND HOT AND STUFF.

FORGIVE ME, BRIDGETTE!

OWEN, NICE JOB.

HEY, WHERE'S IZZY

AND LESHAWNA?

LESHAWNA: AAH!

IZZY: YAH!

OH, WELL, THEIR LOSS, 'CAUSE

THIS IS WHERE IT GETS GOOD.

WE'RE GONNA RACE

THESE BABIES...HARD.

HA! AWESOME, BECAUSE

MY BIKE IS BUILT FOR SPEED.

RIGHT, LINDSAY?

TOTALLY!

YEAH, UNFORTUNATELY,

YOU WON'T BE RIDING IT, HEATHER.

YOU'LL BE SWITCHING BIKES.

YEAH, CRUEL TWIST, HUH?

ALL RIGHTY, THEN.

SEE YOU AT THE BEACH.

(OWL HOOTS)

OKAY, HERE'S HOW IT WORKS.

EVERYONE PICKS A NAME

OUT OF THE HELMET

TO SEE WHOSE BIKE YOU'RE RIDING.

IF YOUR BIKE MAKES IT

ACROSS THE FINISH LINE,

THEN YOU GET TO RIDE IT

IN THE FINAL ROUND

FOR INVINCIBILITY.

HEY, LOOKY!

I GOT YOUR BIKE.

EXCELLENT.

IF YOU CROSS THE FINISH LINE

ON MY BIKE,

THEN I GET TO RIDE

FOR INVINCIBILITY.

SO IF IT LOOKS LIKE

YOU'RE LOSING,

JUST PRESS THE RED BUTTON.

NOW BEFORE WE START,

HAS ANYONE SEEN

LESHAWNA OR IZZY?

LESHAWNA: AAH!

CHRIS: OKAY, RACERS.

ON YOUR MARKS,

GET SET...

PARAMEDICS ON STANDBY...

AND DRAG!

HEY, WHERE'S THE PEDALS?

(GRUNTS)

OW!

OKAY, THIS IS MESSED UP,

BUT YEE-HA,

THIS IS ONE BOOMING RIDE!

I KNOW, RIGHT?

GEOFF: WAILING RIDE, HUH?

I USED TOP-OF-THE-LINE BOLTS.

OKAY, SO I FORGOT THE BOLTS.

AAH!

AAH!

(GROANS)

GOT TO WEAR JOCK.

IZZY: AAH!

OWEN: YAH!

YES!

WE HAVE THREE AWESOME WIPEOUTS

BY HEATHER, GEOFF, AND D.J.

FOUR INVINCIBILITY-RACE

WINNERS--

OWEN'S FUN MACHINE,

HEATHER'S SPEED MACHINE,

LINDSAY'S SUNSET SALLY,

AND DUNCAN'S LETHAL WEAPON.

OWEN: YAH!

HOW DO I STOP THIS THING?

SLAM THE HOOD ORNAMENT!

OWEN: OKAY.

WHAA!

AAH!

AWESOME FINISH, OWEN.

IT'S TIME TO HEAD OVER

TO THE TDI MOTORCROSS.

IS THIS THE PART WHERE YOU

HELP SAVE MY BUTT

FROM BEING VOTED OFF?

NOT YET.

WE HAVE TO MAKE SURE WE WIN

THIS PART OF THE CHALLENGE, TOO.

SO GET YOUR "A" GAME ON.

AAH! AAH!

WOW.

SWEET WHEELS.

I KNOW, RIGHT?

AND P.S., I LOVE YOURS.

OH, ME, TOO.

IT'S SO MUCH FUN TO RIDE.

DUDE, I'VE GOT

ONE WORD FOR YOU.

FOCUS.

OR I'M GONNA KICK

YOUR BUTT INTO NEXT WEEK.

FOCUS, RIGHT.

NEGATORY ON THE FUN.

DONE!

CAMPERS, WELCOME TO THE...

(ECHOING)

MOTO...MOTO...CROSS...CROSS...

CHALLENGE...CHALLENGE!

USING YOUR OWN BIKES,

YOU'LL RACE THE COURSE,

AVOIDING HIDDEN PITFALLS.

CUE THE DEATHTRAPS.

THERE'S DODGING

THE LAND MINES,

MANEUVERING THROUGH

THE OIL SLICK,

AND, FINALLY,

JUMPING THE PIRANHAS.

OH, AND ONE MORE THING--

FIRST ONE TO CROSS WINS

INVINCIBILITY.

LAST ONE TO CROSS

GETS VOTED OFF THE ISLAND.

NO BONFIRE, DO NOT PASS GO,

DO NOT COLLECT A MARSHMALLOW.

OKAY, SO HERE'S OUR STRATEGY.

WE HAVE TO STICK TOGETHER

SO THAT ONE OF US WINS THE RACE.

SO YOU GO FIRST AND CLEAR

A PATH THROUGH THE MINES.

UH-HUH.

THEN GO THROUGH THE OIL SLICK,

SO I CAN SEE HOW TO GET

THROUGH IT.

OKAY.

IF YOU MAKE IT THROUGH

THOSE TWO PARTS,

THEN THE THIRD PART IS EASY.

JUST KEEP THE PIRANHAS BUSY

WHILE I SNEAK THROUGH.

WAIT. THEN YOU'LL WIN, NOT ME.

EXACTLY.

I WAS THINKING

IT WOULD BE REALLY FUN

IF I WON A CHALLENGE

FOR MYSELF FOR ONCE.

YEAH, THAT'S A GREAT IDEA

IN THEORY,

BUT THEN WHO WOULD COME UP

WITH ALL THE NEW STRATEGIES

TO GET US THROUGH

TO THE NEXT WEEK?

RR-RIGHT.

-OKAY!

-DON'T WORRY.

IF THE PIRANHAS DON'T EAT YOU,

THEN YOU'LL

DEFINITELY BE SECOND,

WHICH MEANS OWEN

OR DUNCAN GETS VOTED OFF,

AND WE MAKE IT THROUGH

ANOTHER BONFIRE CEREMONY.

HEATHER IS REALLY SMART.

I'M LUCKY TO HAVE HER

AS A FRIEND.

I HAVE NO WAY OF KNOWING

IF SHE'LL COME IN SECOND.

THE ONLY THING

THAT'S REALLY IMPORTANT

IS THAT I COME IN FIRST.

INVINCIBILITY IS EVERYTHING.

I CAN ALMOST TASTE

THE MARSHMALLOWS.

CAN'T YOU, LINDSAY?

MMM! YES!

RACERS, TAKE YOUR POSITIONS...

AND GO!

OWEN: AAH!

(BELL RINGS)

WHOO!

AAH!

WHOO!

(ENGINE REVVING)

AND WE HAVE OUR WINNER.

HEATHER!

(ALL GROAN)

YAY! YOU WON.

WE DID IT.

WE'RE SAFE.

CHRIS: THAT'S NOT

EXACTLY TRUE.

HEATHER IS SAFE BECAUSE HER

BIKE CROSSED THE LINE FIRST,

BUT SINCE DUNCAN

AND OWEN WIPED OUT

AND DIDN'T COMPLETE THE RACE,

THEY TECHNICALLY

DIDN'T CROSS THE LINE AT ALL,

WHICH MAKES YOU

THE LAST ONE TO CROSS THE LINE,

WHICH MEANS IT'S

"DOCK OF SHAME" TIME, BABY.

OKAY, I'M SO CONFUSED.

IT MEANS

I CAN'T SAVE YOU

UNLESS I GIVE YOU

MY INVINCIBILITY.

BUT I CAN'T DO THAT--

TOO RISKY.

YOU UNDERSTAND.

LINDSAY: BUT I WON.

I EVEN BUILT YOUR BIKE.

I DON'T KNOW

WHAT SHE'S TALKING ABOUT.

YOU SHOULD JUST LEAVE

WITH YOUR DIGNITY INTACT.

IT WILL MAKE YOU SEEM

MUCH MORE CUTER

IN THE INSTANT REPLAYS.

BUT WE WERE GOING TO

THE FINAL THREE TOGETHER.

GUESS WE'RE NOT.

AREN'T YOU EVEN SAD?

WE'RE BFFs.

YEAH, FOR THE CONTEST.

I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE

WE'RE GONNA BE BEST FRIENDS

FOR LIFE OR ANYTHING.

(GASPS)

I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE SAID THAT.

I CAN'T BELIEVE

YOU JUST SAID THAT.

BUT WE PINKIE-SWORE.

YOU MEAN I'VE BEEN

HELPING YOU ALL THIS TIME,

AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN LIKE ME?

TRUTH?

NOT REALLY, NO.

WHAT? WE'RE NOT HERE

TO MAKE FRIENDS.

WE'RE HERE TO BECOME

CELEBRITIES, REMEMBER?

OOH, THAT'S COLD, BRAH.

OH, LIKE YOU'RE SUCH

A TEAM PLAYER.

ALL YOU DO IS GO AROUND

SCARING THE CRAP

OUT OF EVERYONE.

AT LEAST I'M STRAIGHT

WITH PEOPLE.

WHATEVER.

I HAVE INVINCIBILITY.

NO ONE CAN TOUCH ME.

THIS WEEK.

YOU REALLY ARE MEAN!

AND ALL THAT BAD STUFF

PEOPLE SAY ABOUT YOU IS TRUE,

LIKE HOW YOU'RE A TWO-FACED,

BACKSTABBING, LYING, LITTLE,

(BLEEP)

I ALWAYS TOLD THEM

THEY WERE WRONG.

I STOOD UP FOR YOU BECAUSE

I THOUGHT WE WERE BFFs,

BUT THEY'RE RIGHT.

YOU REALLY ARE A TWO-FACED,

BACKSTABBING, LYING, LITTLE,

(BLEEP)

AND GUESS WHAT?

I DON'T WANT TO BE

BFFs ANYMORE.

I'D RATHER SPEND THE DAY

STARING AT OWEN'S BUTT

THAN SHOPPING WITH YOU.

AND P.S.,

YOUR SHOES ARE TACKY.

YEAH! YOU TELL HER!

GO JUMP IN THE PIRANHA POOL.

LESHAWNA: OH, GET

ME OFF OF THIS THING.

AAH!

I DON'T KNOW

WHAT CAME OVER ME.

OH, WAIT!

YES, I DO!

HEATHER IS A TOTAL (BLEEP).

THANKS FOR ALL

YOUR SUPPORT, GRETA.

I LOVE YOU, LEQUISHA.

TAKE CARE, GIRLFRIEND.

IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER,

WE WOULD HAVE KEPT YOU ON.

REALLY? THANKS.

KICK HEATHER'S BUTT FOR ME.

MY PLEASURE.

BYE, GUYS.

SEE YOU AT THE FINALE!

AW, I THINK I'M GONNA

MISS YOU THE MOST.

(WAILING)

ME, TOO!

BYE!

GOOD LUCK, HEATHER.

I HOPE YOU GET EVERYTHING

YOUR KARMA OWES YOU.

OKAY, I'M READY.