Total Drama (2007–2014): Season 1, Episode 15 - No Pain No Game - full transcript

The teams are officially dissolved leaving each and every camper to look out for #1. Two returning campers that were eliminated returned to the game.

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LAST TIME ON

TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND

THE BASS AND GOPHER TEAMS

WERE DISBANDED INTO A BATTLE

OF THE SEXES CHALLENGE

THAT PUT THEIR TASTE BUDS

TO THE PUKE TEST.

WITH BOVINE TESTICLES,

LIVE BUG INSECT PIZZA

AND LIQUID ROACH JUICE

ON THE MENU,



NOT ONLY WAS THIS THE SINGLE

BIGGEST RETCH FEST

THIS HOUSE HAS EVER SEEN,

BUT OWEN'S OBSCENE

CONSUMPTION HABITS

FINALLY PAID OFF AND SCORED

A BIG WIN FOR HIS COMPADRES.

WHILE THE GUYS SET SAIL

ON A WEEKEND RETREAT

ABOARD THE S.S. LAP-O-LUXURY,

THE GIRLS SET DOWN

TERRITORIAL TAPE,

FORCING NEWCOMER BRIDGETTE

TO CHOOSE SIDES.



NOW THAT HEATHER

HAS DRAWN THE LINE,

WILL LESHAWNA

CROSS THE LINE?

CAN BRIDGETTE MEND THE LINE

BEFORE GWEN SHREDS THE LINE?

AND CAN LINDSAY

RECOGNIZE ANY LINE

THAT'S NOT A TAN LINE?

FOR THE ANSWERS TO ALL THESE

CLIFFHANGERS AND MORE,

STAY TUNED TO THE MOST

EXCITING EPISODE YET

ON TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND.

CHORUS: ♪ DEAR MOM AND DAD,

I'M DOING FINE ♪

♪ YOU GUYS ARE ON MY MIND ♪

♪ YOU ASKED ME

WHAT I WANTED TO BE ♪

♪ AND NOW I THINK THE ANSWER

IS PLAIN TO SEE ♪

♪ I WANT TO BE FAMOUS ♪

♪ I WANT TO LIVE CLOSE

TO THE SUN ♪

♪ WELL PACK YOUR BAGS

CAUSE I'VE ALREADY WON ♪

♪ EVERYTHING TO PROVE

NOTHING IN MY WAY ♪

♪ I'LL GET THERE ONE DAY ♪

♪ 'CAUSE I WANT TO BE FAMOUS ♪

♪ NANA NA'NA NAANA NANA NANA

NA NANA NANA NA ♪

♪ I WANT TO BE, I WANT TO BE,

I WANT TO BE FAMOUS ♪

♪ I WANT TO BE, I WANT TO BE,

I WANT TO BE FAMOUS ♪

(WHISTLING

I WANT TO BE FAMOUS)

(BUZZING)

-AAH.

-OOPS.

LINDSAY, YOU ARE A TOTAL--

(YACHT HORN BLOWS)

(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

WHAT A WEEKEND.

OOH-WEE!

OH, SWEET MOTHER OF MIRTH.

YOU CAN'T BUY

THAT KIND OF FUN.

I THINK OWEN AND D.J.

TOOK A REAL SHINE

TO THOSE LOVELY LADIES

WHO SERVED US HAND AND FOOT.

HELLO, THE SPA TREATMENTS?

MY ALLIGATOR ELBOWS,

TOTALLY GONE.

OOH, LIKE VELVET.

THOSE SHOULD HAVE

BEEN MY ALLIGATOR ELBOWS

GETTING THE HAND

AND FOOT TREATMENT.

ANYONE CARE FOR

A CHOCOLATE COATED

CHERRY BLOSSOM?

NO!

IT'S OKAY, DUDE,

THE LADIES ARE JUST

A LITTLE JEALOUS.

YEAH.

WHO CAN BLAME THEM?

THEY CAN BARELY

STAND EACH OTHER.

AND MEANWHILE, US GUYS

ARE TIGHTER THAN FAMILY.

GUYS RULE.

I LOVE YOU GUYS.

CHRIS: (ON LOUDSPEAKER)

LISTEN UP, CAMPERS,

AS OF RIGHT NOW,

ALL TEAMS

ARE OFFICIALLY DISSOLVED.

FROM HERE ON IN,

IT'S EVERY CAMPER

FOR THEMSELVES.

(CLEARS THROAT) WELL, UH, IT'S

ABOUT TIME WE FLEW SOLO.

OH-HO-HO.

I AM FEELING THAT.

BRING IT ON, CHRIS.

THEN GET READY FOR THIS.

-(HORN BLOWS)

-(GASPS)

YOU FRIGHTENED ME.

WHAT?

BUT THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

AW, MAN,

WHAT IS SHE DOING HERE?

CHRIS: BACK BY POPULAR

AUDIENCE DEMAND, IT'S EVA.

THAT'S RIGHT, I'M BACK.

AND JUST SO WE'RE CLEAR,

NOT ONLY AM I GONNA KICK BUTT,

BUT I'M GIVING

SPECIAL ATTENTION

TO MY BACKSTABBING BASS TEAM

WHO VOTED ME OFF.

WAIT A SEC.

YOU SAID

NO ONE IS ALLOWED BACK.

CHRIS: I DID?

AND ONCE YOU LEAVE--

AND ONCE YOU LEAVE

ON THE DOCK OF SHAME,

ON THE BOAT OF LOSERS,

YOU CAN NEVER,

NEVER EVER,

EVER COME BACK.

OH, YEAH, THAT.

YEAH, I LIED.

YOU CAN'T DO THAT.

IT'S NOT FAIR.

WHOA, GIRL, YOU'RE REASONING

WITH A LOUDSPEAKER.

THAT JUST

DOES NOT LOOK GOOD.

(HEAVY BREATHING)

SO, EVA, WHAT YOU BEEN DOING

SINCE YOU LEFT THE ISLAND?

TAKING ANGER

MANAGEMENT CLASSES.

I SEEM TO REMEMBER YOU

THINKING I NEEDED THEM.

SHE WAS

AN AUDIENCE FAVORITE?

CHRIS: NOT REALLY,

BUT WE LIKED HER.

ALSO RETURNING TO CAMP,

IT'S IZZY.

ALL: OH, NO!

YA-HA!

HEY, GUYS, IT'S GOOD

TO BE BACK AT CAMP

EVEN THOUGH I NEVER

ACTUALLY LEFT THE ISLAND.

I'VE BEEN LIVING IN THE WOODS

ALL THIS TIME.

BUT I THOUGHT THE R.C.M.P.

HUNTED YOU DOWN.

THEY TRIED.

BUT BEING

A WILDERNESS SURVIVOR,

I WAS SWIFT-FOOTED

AND AVOIDED CAPTURE.

ONCE I WAS SAFE

AMONG MY ANIMAL BRETHREN,

IT WAS JUST ME

AGAINST THE HARSH ELEMENTS.

YOU CALL THIS HARSH?

IT'S BEEN WARM

AND SUNNY ALL WEEK.

NOT WHERE I WAS.

BUT LUCKILY I WAS ABLE TO TAKE

REFUGE IN THE BEAVER DAM.

YEAH, I BEFRIENDED

THE FAMILY OF BEAVERS

WHO LIVED THERE AND TOGETHER

WE FORAGED FOR NUTS AND BERRIES.

BOY, I COULD USE A BAG

OF NACHOS RIGHT NOW.

(HOWLS)

SO WHAT'S NEW WITH YOU GUYS?

CHRIS: ALL RIGHTY, CAMPERS,

REPORT TO THE AMPHITHEATER

WHERE YOU'LL LEARN ALL ABOUT

THIS WEEK'S CHALLENGE.

MCLEAN OUT.

WOO-HOO!

ANOTHER CHALLENGE.

PARTY!

GIMME 10.

UH, DUDE, YOU HEARD

THE LOUDSPEAKER.

IT'S EVERY CAMPER

FOR THEMSELVES.

(HORN BLOWS)

AH.

WHAT'S WITH THE TAPE?

SOMEBODY BETTER ANSWER ME.

ME AND HEATHER HERE GOT

A LITTLE TERRITORIAL.

BUT WE'RE ALL COOL NOW.

RIGHT, HEATHER?

(PULLS TAPE OFF)

ABSOLUTELY.

WANT MY BUNK, EVA?

I WANT THIS ONE.

UNLESS MISS

BACKSTABBING TRAITOR

WHO VOTED ME OFF

HAS A PROBLEM WITH THAT?

OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU CAN GET

ALL UP IN HER FACE,

BUT DON'T FORGET,

WE ARE ALL HERE TO WIN.

YOU GOT THAT RIGHT,

SISTER THUNDER-THIGHS.

OH, OH, OH.

TELL ME THE MACHO MAMA

WITH BUTT CHEEKS

TIGHTER THAN MY WEAVE

DID NOT JUST SAY THAT.

WHOA, TIME OUT.

CAN WE JUST TALK THIS OUT

OVER LOW-CAL SNACKS?

WHATEVER.

I'M STILL GONNA WIN.

HEY, THANKS FOR STEPPING IN.

OH, MY PLEASURE.

NOBODY DISSES

SHAWNY'S THIGHS.

THAT GIRL IS GETTING

ON MY LAST NERVE.

CHRIS: WELCOME TO

YOUR NEXT CHALLENGE,

THE TIME HONORED

GAME OF TORTURE.

"SAY UNCLE."

YOU ARE ALL ABOUT TO BE

PUT THROUGH TEST OF ENDURANCE

SO INSANE THAT SOME OF 'EM

SENT OUR INTERNS

TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM.

IF YOU BACK DOWN

FROM THE CHALLENGE

OR DO NOT LAST THE REQUIRED

10 SECONDS,

YOU WILL BE ELIMINATED.

THE WINNER WILL NOT ONLY

BE SAFE FROM ELIMINATION,

BUT WILL WIN

THIS LUXURIOUS TRAILER,

YOURS TO TAKE HOME

AT THE END OF THE SUMMER.

WHAT KINDS OF TORTURE?

WHY DON'T YOU ASK

MY LOVELY ASSISTANT?

ALL RIGHT.

LET'S DO THIS.

DUNCAN, YOU'RE FIRST UP.

LET'S SPIN

THE WHEEL OF MISFORTUNE

TO SELECT YOUR TORTURE.

TURTLE PUCK SHOTS.

OUR INTERN SPENT WEEKS

COLLECTING THE GRUMPIEST,

ANGRIEST, CRUSTIEST,

HUNGRIEST

OLD SNAPPING TURTLES

ON THE ISLAND.

WHILE YOU STAND

IN THE GOALIE NET

COMPLETELY UNPROTECTED,

CHEF WILL FIRE OFF

TURTLE SNAP SHOTS.

IF I WERE YOU, DUDE,

I'D PROTECT MY COCONUTS.

THIS COULD GET UGLY.

IF YOU CAN STAY IN

FOR 10 SECONDS,

YOU'LL GO ON

TO THE SECOND ROUND.

(BUZZER)

HUH?

OW!

AND DUNCAN MOVES

ON TO THE NEXT ROUND.

ISN'T THIS FUN?

YEAH. IT'S A RIOT.

WHOA.

THAT WAS HARSH.

DON'T TALK TO ME.

ARE YOU STILL MAD

ABOUT THE WHOLE

"BURYING YOU ALIVE" THING?

UH, YEAH.

I'LL NEVER FORGIVE

MYSELF FOR THAT ONE.

YOU KNOW, YOU'RE TOTALLY

THE LAST PERSON

HERE I'D LEAVE

BURIED IN THE SAND

IF I HAD A CHOICE.

REALLY?

THAT'S SO SWEET.

NEXT UP, LINDSAY.

YOUR TORTURE IS...

MARSHMALLOW WAXING.

WE'RE GONNA WAX

EVERY PART OF YOUR BODY.

IF YOU CAN TAKE THE PAIN

FOR A FULL 10 SECONDS,

YOU CAN GO

TO THE NEXT LEVEL.

LINDSAY: OH, I SO NEED THIS.

I'VE BEEN DOING WITH

NASTY RAZOR STUBBLE FOR WEEKS.

TURNING TO OFFSET MY TAN, KAY?

(MUFFLED SCREAMS)

AAH!

OW!

OUCH.

THAT HAD TO HURT.

I DON'T THINK I WOULD HAVE

MADE IT THROUGH THAT ONE.

THAT'S BECAUSE GUYS

ARE TOTAL WIMPS

WHEN IT COMES TO TWO THINGS,

BEAUTY AND PAIN.

YEAH, YOU GOT THAT RIGHT.

-(BELL RINGS)

-OH, MY GOSH.

I CAN'T BELIEVE

HOW SMOOTH THAT IS.

THANKS, CHIP.

IT'S CHRIS.

WELL DONE, LINDSAY,

SINCE YOU DIDN'T EVEN

COMPLAIN ONCE,

YOU GET TO CHOOSE

WHO GOES NEXT.

NO, THANKS.

(EVA WHISPERS)

UH, WAIT, I CHANGED MY MIND.

-I CHOOSE--

-(EVA WHISPERS)

BRIDGETTE

WITH LAKE LEECHES,

BECAUSE SHE'S A BACKSTABBING,

LOW-LIFE TRAITOR.

GRRR.

IT'S PAYBACK TIME, TRAITOR!

IT'S PAYBACK TIME.

ALL RIGHT, BRIDGETTE,

TIME'S A WASTING.

GET YOUR BUTT

IN THE BARREL OF LEECHES.

EVEN THOUGH WE ALL WANTED

EVA OFF THE ISLAND,

FOR SOME REASON,

THAT GIRL WAS

GUNNING FOR BRIDGETTE.

I FELT BAD AND ALL,

BUT, HEY, BETTER HER THAN ME.

GEOFF: NO, WAIT.

I'LL TAKE HER PLACE.

OH, THAT IS SO ROMANTIC.

OH, AND IF YOUR VICTIM

CAN LAST 10 SECONDS

WITHOUT SAYING UNCLE,

YOU GET ELIMINATED INSTEAD,

WHICH MEANS YOU LOSE

YOUR CHANCE TO WIN THIS.

(SPLASHING)

AAH!

(BUZZER)

OOH, CLOSE SHAVE, GEOFF.

NINE AND NINE ONE-HUNDRED

THOUSANDTHS OF A MILLION...

WHATEVER.

IT'S NOT TEN, YOU'RE OUT.

YOU CAN RETURN

TO YOUR NEW SEAT.

OWEN, YOU'RE NEXT.

WOODEN SHORTS?

BIG DEAL.

AAH.

OW!

AAH.

(BUZZING)

OUR NEXT CHALLENGE WILL BE

SPENDING 10 SECONDS

IN A WOODEN CRATE

WITH SASQUATCHANAKWA.

TOUGH ONE.

BRIDGETTE, YOU HAVEN'T

COMPLAINED IN A WHILE,

SO YOU CAN CHOOSE

THE NEXT VICTIM.

-(BELL RINGS)

-ALL: EVA.

ALL: EVA, EVA, EVA.

EVA'S HARDCORE.

I WAS THINKING THAT SHE COULD

ACTUALLY PULL THIS OFF.

IF SHE PICKS EVA

AND SHE MADE IT OUT ALIVE,

EVA WAS GONNA BE

SO TICKED OFF.

ALL: EVA.

EVA. EVA. EVA.

HERE'S A TOE-TAG, SURFER GIRL,

YOU'LL BE NEEDING IT FOR LATER.

(ANIMAL GROWLING)

CHRIS: EVA STUCK IT OUT,

SO BRIDGETTE

IS OUT OF THE GAME.

RECKLESS CHOICE

BY BRIDGETTE,

STILL LET'S GIVE HER PROPS

FOR STICKING IT TO A TEAMMATE.

NOW LET'S SEE WHO SHOWED

LESS COURAGE

THAN EVA AND CRIED UNCLE.

(BELL RINGS)

EW.

LOVE THE SKUNK JUMP.

(FART)

(BUZZER)

AND THE NEW AGE

MUSIC TORTURE...

(BUZZER)

AND A LITTLE VISIT

TO THE WAWANAKWA HAIR SALON.

(BUZZER)

-OH!

-OH! AND WHO CAN FORGET

THE OLD ICE CREAM BRAIN FREEZE?

WOO-HOO!

-(BUZZER)

-AAH.

CLEAR.

(LAUGHS)

THAT WAS GREAT!

HIT ME AGAIN.

(LAUGHS)

-(BELL RINGS)

-IZZY, WHO'S YOUR

NEXT VICTIM?

OOH, OOH, ME.

WITH THE POISON IVY

SPA TREATMENT.

IS IT JUST ME,

OR IS THAT GIRL

SOME KINDA CRAZY?

(CELL PHONE RINGS)

IT'S CHRIS.

YEAH, YEAH,

SHE WANTS TO DO IT.

OKAY.

OKAY.

THE JUDGES WILL ALLOW IT,

BUT THEY WANNA KNOW WHY.

I JUST WANNA SEE

HOW IT FEELS.

ALL RIGHTY THEN.

-(BELL RINGS)

-TIME'S UP.

CHEF, REMOVE THE POISON IVY.

NO, NO.

IT FEELS GREAT.

YOU STUCK IT OUT, BUT SADLY,

YOU ELIMINATED YOURSELF.

LOOK HOW BIG MY LIPS ARE.

EVA, YOU'RE UP.

ALL RIGHT.

AFTER 20 ROUNDS OF TORTURE,

WE'RE DOWN

TO TWO STEELY COMPETITORS

AND THE SUDDEN DEATH ROUND.

I DID NOT MAKE IT

THIS FAR TO QUIT NOW.

THAT TRAILER IS BANK

AND IT'S GOT MY NAME

WRITTEN ALL OVER IT.

WHATEVER HE'S GOT

TO THROW AT ME,

I'M GONNA DO.

CHRIS: LESHAWNA,

IT'S UP TO YOU.

YOUR FINAL CHALLENGE

IS THE GRIZZLY BEAR LOG ROLL.

THE GRIZZLY BEAR SAY WHAT?

CHRIS: MOLOTOV, THE BEAR.

PERFORMS WITH THE RUSSIAN

NATIONAL CIRCUS

AND HAS BEEN THE EUROPEAN

LOG ROLLING CHAMPION

FOR THE PAST 12 YEARS.

TO WIN, YOU MUST LAST

10 SECONDS ON THE LOG

WHILE AVOIDING CERTAIN DEATH

IN THE PIRANHA INFESTED WATER.

LESHAWNA,

YOU COULD BACK OUT NOW.

NO WAY, I'VE SEEN SCARIER

LOOKING FACES AT THE MALL.

I'M GOING IN.

-(BELL RINGS)

-AND GO.

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

HA.

AND THAT'S HOW I ROLL.

-(BELL RINGS)

-LESHAWNA WINS,

SO EVA IS OUT.

WHAT?

NO WAY.

WAY.

SHE WINS THE CHALLENGE,

INVINCIBILITY

AND THE GRAND PRIZE.

WHOO!

YES, BABY.

WHOO!

YOU LOSE, I WIN.

YOU LOSE, I WIN.

THAT'S RIGHT, BABY, YEAH.

WHILE LESHAWNA CHECKS OUT

HER TRAILER FULL OF FOOD,

AND WE CHECK OUT

HER BLOOD PRESSURE,

THE REST OF YOU CAN GO

TO THE CONFESSIONAL BOOTH

AND VOTE OFF A CAMPER

OTHER THAN LESHAWNA.

(HOWLS)

OKAY.

SO FIRST UP, WE RAN

OUT OF MARSHMALLOWS.

NO!

I'VE REVIEWED

THE CONFESSIONALS,

AND I HAVE TO SAY

THERE'S LOTS OF HATE

ON IN THIS GROUP,

WHICH IS AWESOME.

WHILE I NORMALLY

PROTECT YOUR PRIVACY,

IN THE SPIRIT OF AIRING

YOUR DIRTY LAUNDRY,

I'M GONNA GO LIVE

WITH YOUR CONFESSIONALS.

SINCE LESHAWNA'S IMMUNE,

THERE'S NO OTHER CHOICE

BUT RAGE-AHOLIC EVA.

I VOTE FOR HEATHER

BECAUSE I KNOW SHE'S BEHIND

COURTNEY GETTING KICKED OFF.

YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT, TOOTS.

IF YOU'RE WATCHING

THIS ON CABLE,

I MISS YOU, BABE.

EVA'S A FREAK,

SO SEE YA.

PLEASE, PLEASE, EVA.

I'M SO GLAD

YOU NEVER AIR THESE.

EVA'S NUTS.

SORRY, GIRL.

IT'S GOT TO BE EVA

UNLESS I CAN FIGURE OUT

WHO SNAGGED MY OTHER LUCKY HAT.

I JUST CAN'T GET OVER

HOW SMOOTH THIS IS.

ANYWAY, I VOTE OFF EVA

'CAUSE SHE'S SCARIER

THAN HEATHER,

LAQUEESHA,

AND GWEN COMBINED.

UNLESS THEY WANT

TO LEAVE IN BODY BAGS,

THEY BETTER NOT SAY MY NAME.

I VOTE FOR HEATHER.

LOTS OF DIRT

REVEALED THERE, HUH?

BUT IN THE END, IT WAS STILL

SIX VOTES AGAINST EVA.

SO ADIOS.

WHAT?

THIS ISN'T THE END OF ME.

YOU BETTER WATCH YOUR BACKS.

I'M NOT DONE.

I'LL GET MY REVENGE.

I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU.

OW!

AND IZZY LIED.

SHE WASN'T IN THE WOODS.

SHE WAS--

WOW, SHE HAS ISSUES, HUH?

PARTY AT LESHAWNA'S

NEW CRIB.

-YEAH!

-YEAH.

-YAY!

-WHOO!