Total Drama (2007–2014): Season 1, Episode 12 - Basic Straining - full transcript

The 11 remaining campers are sent to an insane boot camp.

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CHRIS: LAST TIME

ON TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND...

THE TEAMS WERE GIVEN

THREE CHALLENGES

THAT TESTED THEIR TRUST

IN THEIR TEAMMATES.

THE ROCK-CLIMBING CHALLENGE

REVEALED MORE THAN

JUST HEATHER'S GRUDGE

AGAINST GWEN.

AND TRENT GOT THE BAD END



OF A BLOWFISH

COURTESY OF LINDSAY.

DJ TRUSTED GEOFF

WITH HIS PET BUNNY.

HUGE MISTAKE, BY THE WAY.

SOME OTHER CAMPERS

GOT DROPPED ON THEIR BUTTS,

AND DUNCAN SHOCKED COURTNEY BY

SHOWING HER HIS SOFTER SIDES.

YEAH, TOUCHING MOMENTS.

GOOD TIMES.

STAY TUNED FOR THE MOST

DRAMATIC BONFIRE CEREMONY YET

ON TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND.



♪ DEAR MOM AND DAD,

I'M DOING FINE ♪

♪ YOU GUYS ARE ON MY MIND ♪

♪ YOU ASKED ME

WHAT I WANTED TO BE ♪

♪ AND NOW I THINK THE ANSWER

IS PLAIN TO SEE ♪

♪ I WANNA BE ♪

♪ FAMOUS ♪

♪ I WANNA LIVE

CLOSE TO THE SUN ♪

♪ WELL, PACK YOUR BAGS,

'CAUSE I'VE ALREADY WON ♪

♪ EVERYTHING TO PROVE,

NOTHING IN MY WAY ♪

♪ I'LL GET THERE ONE DAY ♪

♪ 'CAUSE I WANNA BE ♪

♪ FAMOUS ♪

♪ NA NA NA-NA-NA NA ♪

♪ NA-NA NA-NA NA

NA NA-NA NA-NA NA ♪

♪ I WANNA BE, I WANNA BE ♪

♪ I WANNA BE FAMOUS ♪

♪ I WANNA BE, I WANNA BE ♪

♪ I WANNA BE FAMOUS ♪

(WHISTLES "I WANNA BE,

I WANNA BE FAMOUS")

(DOOR OPENS)

OK, WHO'S MADE S'MORES

OUT OF MY UNDERWEAR?

HEH HEH HEH HEH.

EWW!

HAROLD,

YOU ARE SO TOTALLY GROSS.

NOW WAY. IT WASN'T ME.

IDIOTS.

SOMETIMES HE JUST

MAKES IT TOO EASY.

I HEAR YOU, MAN.

CHEF: LISTEN UP,

YOU LITTLE COCKROACHES.

I WANT ALL CAMPERS TO REPORT

TO THE DOCK OF SHAME

AT 0900 HOURS!

THAT MEANS NOW, SOLDIERS. NOW.

LINE UP AND STAND AT ATTENTION.

YOU CALL THIS PROPER FORMATION?

FEET TOGETHER. ARMS DOWN.

EYES FORWARD. HEAD UP.

OH, THIS IS GONNA BE A FUN DAY.

WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME, SOLDIER?

UM, NOTHING.

AND YOU'LL CONTINUE

TO SAY NOTHING

UNTIL I TELL YOU

THAT YOU CAN SAY SOMETHING.

TODAY'S CHALLENGE

WILL NOT BE AN EASY ONE.

IN FACT, I DO NOT EXPECT

EVERYONE TO COME OUT ALIVE.

HA HA HA. AAH! THAT HURT.

MY ORDERS ARE TO MAKE SURE

ALL OF THE BABIES IN FRONT OF ME

DROP OUT OF MY BOOT CAMP

EXCEPT ONE.

THE LAST ONE STANDING

WINS IMMUNITY FOR THEIR TEAM.

UH, WHAT HAPPENED TO CHRIS?

RULE NUMBER ONE--YOU WILL

ADDRESS ME AS MASTER CHIEF.

HAVE YOU GOT THAT?

YES, MASTER CHIEF.

YOU WILL SLEEP

WHEN I TELL YOU TO SLEEP.

AND YOU WILL EAT

ONLY WHEN I TELL YOU TO EAT.

IS THAT CLEAR?

YES, MASTER CHIEF.

RULE NUMBER TWO--

WHEN YOU'RE READY TO GIVE UP,

YOU WILL WALK TO THE END

OF THE DOCK AND RING THE BELL.

WHICH BRINGS ME

TO RULE NUMBER THREE--

LET'S GET ONE QUITTER

BEFORE THE END OF THE FIRST DAY.

THAT DAY WILL NOT END

UNTIL SOMEONE DROPS OUT.

NOW GET YOUR BUTTS

DOWN TO THE BEACH, SOLDIERS.

NOW, NOW, NOW.

(ALL SCREAMING)

OK, WHOEVER'S SICK,

TWISTED IDEA THIS WAS

TO PUT HIM IN CHARGE

OF THIS CHALLENGE,

I HAVE TO SAY

I'M A LITTLE BIT IMPRESSED.

LISTEN UP. EACH TEAM MUST HOLD

A CANOE OVER THEIR HEADS.

I CATCH YOU TAKING YOUR HANDS

OFF THE CANOE,

AND YOU WILL BE ELIMINATED.

AND NO ONE EATS LUNCH

UNTIL SOMEONE DROPS OUT.

CANOES UP.

WHEW. THIS ISN'T THAT HARD.

PIECE OF CAKE.

-(WHIMPERS)

-(GROWLS)

CHEF: COME ON, YOU SISSIES.

IT'S ONLY BEEN THREE HOURS.

LOOKS LIKE

THEY MISSED LUNCH TODAY.

MM-HMM. GUESS THEY

JUST WEREN'T HUNGRY.

UNLESS SOMEONE

WANTS TO QUIT NOW.

(STOMACH GROWLS)

DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, OWEN.

TIME TO LAND THAT FISH.

OW! IDIOTS.

IS THERE A PROBLEM DOWN HERE?

NO.

(SNORES)

25 OF US WENT IN THE JUNGLE

THAT NIGHT.

ONLY FIVE CAME BACK OUT.

WHAT WAR WERE YOU IN, ANYWAY?

DID I ASK YOU TO SPEAK?

BECAUSE I DON'T REMEMBER

ASKING YOU TO SPEAK.

WHATEVER.

HE SO WASN'T IN A WAR.

GUYS, I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE.

I HAVE NO MORE FEELING

IN MY ARMS.

LOOKS LIKE WE GOT OURSELVES

A QUITTER.

DON'T DO IT, LINDSAY!

(DINGS)

-(ALL SIGH)

-AAH.

LISTEN HERE, YOU HAVE NOTHING

TO BE ASHAMED OF.

EXCEPT BEING THE LITTLE BABY

THAT LET YOUR TEAM DOWN.

AS FOR THE REST OF YOU,

HEAD TO THE MESS HALL.

DINNER IS SERVED.

SWEET MARIE, THANK YOU!

ALL RIGHT, MAGGOTS,

OPEN YOUR EARS.

YOU'VE GOT 10 MINUTES TO EAT

BEFORE NIGHT TRAINING BEGINS,

-SO GET TO IT.

-NIGHT TRAINING?

-NO WAY.

UM, EXCUSE ME, MASTER CHIEF.

WHERE'S THE FOOD?

YOU'RE LOOKING AT IT.

HEH HEH HEH.

THIS IS THE LEFTOVER GARBAGE

FROM THIS MORNING'S BREAKFAST.

DARN RIGHT. WHEN YOU'RE AT WAR,

YOU TAKE WHAT YOU CAN GET.

WELL, I CAN SEE YOU'VE GOT THIS

UNDER CONTROL.

I'M OFF TO CRAFT SERVICES.

COMING?

SERVE ME UP SOME OF THAT.

OH, I AM NOT EATING THIS.

UHH. ME, NEITHER.

DON'T CARE FOR TODAY'S SPECIALS,

PRINCESS?

I AM GOING TO BE

RUNNING FOR OFFICE ONE DAY,

AND NO ONE IS GOING TO PULL UP

A FILE OF ME EATING GARBAGE.

HEY, HAROLD,

WE FELT REALLY BAD

ABOUT THE WHOLE UNDERWEAR-

FISHING-INCIDENT THING,

SO HERE, WE FOUND YOU

SOME APPLE JUICE.

THANKS.

PTOOEY. THAT'S NOT JUICE.

OH. OH, MY MISTAKE, DUDE.

UH, WE-WE MUST HAVE CONFUSED IT

WITH THE KITCHEN GREASE.

YOU GUYS ARE SO IMMATURE.

I HOPE YOU'RE PROUD

OF YOURSELVES.

OK, LOOK, I KNOW YOU LIKE ME.

HE KNOWS YOU LIKE ME.

EVERYONE KNOWS IT.

SO HERE'S A TIP--IF YOU WANT TO

KISS ME, I MIGHT LET YOU.

AND TO THINK I ACTUALLY THOUGHT

YOU WERE NICE.

SHH. ME? NICE?

HA HA. YEAH, RIGHT.

WHY'D YOU THINK THAT?

NEVER MIND. I WAS WRONG.

HE'S JUST AS GROSS AND ANNOYING

AS HE WANTS YOU TO BELIEVE.

ENJOY YOUR GARBAGE.

("THRILLER-ESQUE"

DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

(ALL GASP)

DUNCAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

ONE OF US DROPS OUT,

WE'RE DONE FOR THE DAY.

WE'RE DONE

WHEN I SAY WE'RE DONE.

NOW DROP AND GIVE ME 20.

ANYONE ELSE GOT ANYTHING

THEY WANT TO SAY?

UH, YEAH.

CAN I GO TO THE BATHROOM?

NOT EXACTLY WHAT I HAD IN MIND.

FOR YOUR NEXT CHALLENGE,

YOU WILL COMPLETE

A 300-WORD ESSAY

ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU LOVE ME.

ANYONE WHO FALLS ASLEEP OR FAILS

TO COMPLETE THE CHALLENGE

WILL BE ELIMINATED.

(TICKING)

(ALARM SOUNDS)

CRAP.

"I LOVE MASTER CHIEF HATCHET

"BECAUSE HE IS VERY, VERY,

VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY,

"VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY,

VERY, VERY--"

THIS IS JUST ONE SENTENCE

WITH FIVE PAGES OF "VERYS"

IN BETWEEN.

IT'S 300 WORDS EXACTLY.

YOU CAN COUNT THEM IF YOU WANT.

AAH! UGH.

WIPE UP THAT DROOL,

YOU LITTLE BABY.

YOU TWO SLACKERS ARE OUT.

THE REST OF YOU, GET TO BED

AND REPORT TO THE PLAYING FIELD

AT 0500 HOURS.

UH, MISSED A SPOT THERE,

GENERAL.

BOY, DO YOU WANT TO RUN 50 LAPS

AROUND THIS CAMP RIGHT NOW?

NO, THANKS.

HE'S GOING STRAIGHT TO BED,

AREN'T YOU?

WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO,

GET ELIMINATED?

-I DIDN'T KNOW YOU CARED.

-I DON'T.

I JUST DON'T WANT TO LOSE

THIS CHALLENGE,

SO STOP BEING SUCH A SCREW-UP

AND DO WHAT YOU'RE TOLD

FOR ONCE, OK?

-SHE WANTS ME.

-NO DOUBT.

YOU WILL ALL RUN THIS COURSE

UNTIL YOU CAN ALL COMPLETE IT

IN UNDER ONE MINUTE.

AM I MAKING MYSELF CLEAR?

CRYSTAL.

IF YOU LOSE THIS FOR US,

I'M GONNA MAKE YOU SO MISERABLE.

GO, MAGGOTS, GO!

AW.

UH, GENERAL CRAZY,

WE'VE GOT A SITUATION HERE.

TOO MUCH--(COUGHS)--MUD.

RING THE BELL

AND REPORT TO THE INFIRMARY.

YOUR TOUR OF DUTY IS FINISHED.

WOW. POOR GUY.

BACK ON THE COURSE,

SOLDIERS, NOW!

ONE FALSE MOVE,

AND I'LL BE ON YOU

LIKE STINK ON A POOP WAGON.

I LOOK FORWARD TO IT, SIR.

AAH!

FALLEN SOLDIER, I SALUTE YOU.

YOU JUST BOUGHT YOURSELF

20 MORE PUSH-UPS.

THANK YOU.

MWAH.

(GROWLS)

I THINK YOU MAY HAVE PUSHED HIM

OVER THE EDGE, BRO.

I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT.

ONE NIGHT SOLITARY CONFINEMENT

IN THE BOATHOUSE.

AHH.

AHH.

BIG DEAL.

HOW SCARY CAN IT BE?

SHOULD HAVE KEPT

MY BIG MOUTH SHUT.

(WOLF HOWLS)

I'M GOING TO CHECK ON HIM.

YOU LIKE HIM.

I DO NOT LIKE HIM.

-YES, YOU DO.

-NOT ONLY DO I NOT LIKE HIM...

I CAN'T STAND HIM.

HE'S RUDE, HE'S REBELLIOUS,

AND HE'S TOTALLY ANNOYING.

I'M GONNA GO CHECK ON HIM.

SHE LIKES HIM.

HELLO? DUNCAN?

(WHISTLES) PRINCESS.

I WISH YOU'D STOP

CALLING ME THAT.

SO, COME TO CLAIM THAT KISS?

EVEN PIGS DESERVE A MEAL.

MM, NO, THANKS.

I'LL STICK WITH THE BAIT.

YEAH, WELL, THAT'S ALL

CHEF WOULD SERVE US

AFTER OUR PATHETIC PERFORMANCE

ON THE OBSTACLE COURSE.

WHY DO YOU EGG CHEF ON

LIKE THAT?

YOU KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO

GET IN TROUBLE.

WHY ARE YOU SO UPTIGHT

ALL THE TIME?

I AM NOT UPTIGHT.

YOU ALWAYS FOLLOW THE RULES.

WELL, YOU ALWAYS

HAVE TO BREAK THEM.

ONLY THE ONES I WANT TO.

OK, SO MAYBE I DO

FOLLOW THE RULES.

I GUESS THAT MAKES ME A BIG,

UPTIGHT LOSER IN YOUR BOOKS,

-RIGHT?

-MAYBE.

-UGH!

-THEN WHY DO YOU FOLLOW THEM?

BECAUSE NOT FOLLOWING THEM

GETS YOU THROWN INTO

A FISH CABIN.

BUT I'M IN THE FISH CABIN

WITH YOU, AREN'T I?

FEEL LIKE DITCHING THIS CRAP

FOR SOME PEANUT BUTTER AND JAM?

ARE YOU KIDDING?

ALL I'VE HAD FOR TWO DAYS

IS THIS GRUEL.

BUT CHEF WILL NEVER

GIVE IT TO US.

SEE? NOW, THAT'S THE PROBLEM

WITH YOUR THINKING.

THE TRICK IS TO NOT ASK FOR IT.

DO YOU HAVE SOME ON YOU?

NO, BUT I HAPPEN TO KNOW

WHERE TO FIND IT.

IT WILL INVOLVE BREAKING

QUITE A FEW RULES, THOUGH.

ARE YOU IN?

LET'S DO IT.

WELL, ALL RIGHT, THEN.

(WHISPERS) SLOWLY.

SLOWLY CRAWL.

25 OF US WENT IN THE JUNGLE

THAT NIGHT.

ONLY FIVE CAME BACK OUT.

(WHISPERS) IF WE GET CAUGHT,

WE ARE SO DEAD.

I MEAN, COME ON.

I AM NOTHING WITHOUT MY STUBBLE.

AMEN, BROTHER.

ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO

GO THROUGH WITH THIS?

HECK, YES. THIS IS

THE MOST FUN I'VE HAD HERE YET.

A LITTLE PRESENT,

COURTESY OF THE KILLER BASS.

NOW YOU'RE LEARNING.

WHOO-HOO! HA HA HA.

MMM. MMM.

I THINK I HAVE JUNGLE ROT

FROM THAT OBSTACLE COURSE.

EW. OWEN, WE'RE EATING HERE.

(MOUTH FULL) AND WITH IS WITH

ALL THOSE LAME WAR STORIES?

HE IS SO DEMENTED.

GIRL, THESE NAILS WERE NOT MEANT

FOR COMBAT TRAINING.

KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? MMM.

OOH, SERIOUSLY. IF I WANTED TO

JOIN THE ARMY, I WOULD HAVE.

OH, GUYS, GROSS.

NOW SEE, THAT'S A WASTE

OF GOOD PEANUT BUTTER.

OK, I THINK YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH.

OH, NO, NO. JUST-JUST ONE MORE.

(BELCHES)

OH.

YEAH. YEAH, THAT ONE

WAS A MISTAKE.

HA HA HA HA HA HA.

SO THE PRINCESS

HAS A DARK SIDE.

OK. THAT WAS SO GROSS.

BUT IT WAS LIKE

ONCE I DID SOMETHING BAD,

IT WAS SO MUCH FUN,

I JUST WANTED MORE.

WELL, YOU COULD ALWAYS

GIVE ME THAT KISS.

-THAT WOULD BE PRETTY BAD.

-YOU'RE STILL NOT MY TYPE.

FINE. ENJOY

A PEANUT BUTTER-LESS LIFE.

THANKS. ENJOY PRISON.

I WILL.

YES, DUDE!

TOLD YOU SHE WANTED ME.

AHH.

ATTENTION, REMAINING

BOOT-CAMPER GROUPS!

THE NEXT EVOLUTION

OF YOUR TRAINING

BEGINS TOMORROW MORNING

AT 0700 HOURS.

AND IF I CATCH THE SUCKER

THAT TOOK MY DESSERT,

YOUR BUTT IS MINE.

WHAT YOU ARE EXPERIENCING

IS AN ANCIENT FORM OF TORTURE.

BY NOW, THE BLOOD HAS BEGUN

RUSHING TO YOUR HEAD.

THE NEXT STAGE IS NAUSEA,

FOLLOWED BY DIZZINESS

AND A FLUSHED APPEARANCE.

AS THE BLOOD BEGINS TO POOL

IN YOUR EYES,

YOU MAY EXPERIENCE

FAINTING SPELLS.

DUNCAN!

IT'S OK. HE'S ALL RIGHT.

UGH!

COME ON! I...CAN'T...REACH.

AAH! (FARTS)

HA HA HA HA.

OK, THAT'S IT. I'M DONE. UHH.

AAH!

(MUFFLED PROTESTS)

OFF OF ME, YOU BIG OX.

SORRY.

HA HA HA HA HA HA.

HA HA HA HA. HA HA HA.

STOP LAUGHING THIS INSTANT.

I'M SORRY. HA HA HA.

I CAN'T HELP IT.

WHOA! HA HA HA.

I EXPECTED MORE OUT OF YOU,

SOLDIER.

AHEM. MASTER CHIEF, I JUST HAVE

ONE THING TO SAY TO YOU.

AND WHAT MIGHT THAT BE?

YOU REALLY NEED TO TAKE

A CHILL PILL.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

HA HA HA HA. YEAH. NOW,

THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

OK, GEOFFY, IT'S ALL UP TO YOU.

YOU GOT THIS, GWEN?

OH, YEAH.

I CAN HANG HERE ALL DAY.

ROCK ON, SISTER!

I LIVE FOR THE HEAD RUSH.

IT FEELS...SO...GOOD.

OOH. THAT'S

GOING TO LEAVE A MARK.

-YES!

-ALL RIGHT, GWEN.

-GO, GOPHERS!

-GWEN.

CONGRATULATIONS, SOLDIER.

I'D GO TO WAR WITH YOU ANYTIME.

I'LL KEEP THAT IN MIND

WHEN CHOOSING MY CAREER.

YOU DO THAT, SOLDIER.

(CHEERING)

YOU DO THAT.

I ONLY HAVE FIVE MARSHMALLOWS

ON MY PLATE.

AND THESE MARSHMALLOWS

REPRESENT THE CAMPERS

THAT WILL

CONTINUE TO BE CAMPERS...

HERE.

YOU'VE ALL CAST YOUR BALLOTS

IN THE CONFESSION CAN.

IF I DO NOT CALL YOUR NAME,

YOU MUST IMMEDIATELY GO DOWN

TO THE DOCK OF SHAME,

CATCH THE BOAT OF LOSERS,

AND GO HOME.

AND YOU CAN'T COME BACK...EVER.

DUNCAN.

YEAH.

-DJ.

-YEAH!

BRIDGETTE.

-GEOFF.

-YEAH.

CAMPERS, THIS IS THE FINAL

MARSHMALLOW OF THE NIGHT.

HAROLD.

-AHH.

-YES.

WHAT? YOU GUYS

VOTED FOR HAROLD OVER ME?

YES, YES. IT'S ALWAYS A SHOCK.

THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE.

I DEMAND A RECOUNT.

AW, SERIOUSLY, DUDE.

I KNOW FOR A FACT...

THERE WERE THREE OF US

THAT DIDN'T VOTE HER OFF.

UHH.

I DO NOT CONCEDE.

AW, MAN, THIS SUCKS.

I WAS YOUR ONLY HOPE.

I WAS A COUNSELOR-IN-TRAINING.

LET GO OF ME.

YOU ARE GOING TO HEAR FROM

MY ATTORNEY.

COURTNEY, WAIT.

I MADE THIS FOR YOU.

DUNCAN.

OK, THIS IS REALLY WEIRD

AND CREEPY, BUT I LOVE IT.

I'LL NEVER FORGET YOU!

WHO'S MADE S'MORES

OUT OF MY UNDERWEAR?

HEH HEH HEH HEH.

OW. IDIOTS.

PTOOEY. THAT'S NOT JUICE.

OH. OH, MY MISTAKE, DUDE.

YOU GUYS THINK YOU'RE SO FUNNY.

LET'S SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT

WHEN SOMEONE MESSES WITH

YOUR LOVE LIFE.

YES.