Top Gear (2002–…): Season 29, Episode 1 - Episode #29.1 - full transcript

Freddie Flintoff, Chris Harris and Paddy McGuinness return with a new drive-in studio. They also visit Paddy's home town of Bolton to test three new company cars by spending 24 hours in ...

Hello! Welcome to Top Gear.
We're back, everybody!

And, as you can see, things are
a little bit different.

For starters, BBC one.
We're in the big leagues now.

But we've gone bigger,
we've gone roomier,

we've gone full Glastonbury. Let's
be honest, jamming 600 people

into an aircraft hangar,
not such a good idea at the moment.

So, we picked up our studio
and moved it outside.

Yes, we have.

Look at our audience, they've all
come in their very own cars,

and there's some absolute
beauties out there.

We've got our very own Top Gear
drive-in, everybody!



Let's hear the honkers!
Honk those horns!

That is loud!

Enough!

Sounds like downtown Mumbai,
doesn't it?

No wonder the neighbours hate us.

Don't worry, we've still been up
to our usual mischief.

Doing stupid stuff in cars.

In the case of you two,
mostly crashing cars.

Not talking about that just yet.

Here's what we've got lined
up this series.

New Sensation by INXS

Here we go!

It doesn't get much better
than this.

Whoo!



Paddy, it's electric!

We're going to get electrocuted!

You are such a wally!

Whoa!

Woohoo!

The thing is an absolute missile!

This is what hire cars are for.
Whoa!

We're supposed to be looking
after these!

It's a tough little bugger, this.

Why do they call it
the wall of death?

What the...!

No, no, no, no!

Come on, Honda.

I've been left for dead
by a comedian and a cricketer!

I am flying!

I can't push my foot any further!

I 'm giving it beans!

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

How did they get this through
health and safety?

I think it's a BBC one thing.

Bit more leeway with the old
health and safety.

It's a prototype!

All that coming up
over the next five weeks.

But, first, cast your mind back
to the start of 2020, before

Covid -I9, before social distancing,
a time of wonder, a time of joy.

A time where you could
get your hands on a toilet roll.

A different time, Pad,
the good old days

before joe Wicks and all
the lunges.

Nobody needs that in the morning.

We were trying to figure out
how do we kick off our first

show on BBC one?
I mean, it's BBC one, lads.

We could have gone anywhere,
driven anything.

Supercars on the Italian Riviera,

classic muscle cars
around the Wild West.

But the producer decided
we should start out by tackling...

...company cars. Brilliant.

Fantastic. So, they lined up

three of the most exciting
new company cars

and told us to meet them...

...in Bolton.

A thorough test of three
new company cars.

Yes, for once,

we had a proper,
grown-up bit of work to do.

And, better still...

...the producers had laid on
three of the absolute best

in the business for us
to get to grips with.

The all-electric Tesla Model 3
long - range...

...the hybrid - powered BMW 330e,

and the hybrid - powered Volvo S60.

The only question was...

...what were they doing in Bolton?

Welcome to Fantasy Island!

You never told me it was so grand.

So, this place, home to many
an iconic TV show.

Give you a clue...

Crimewatch?
By order of the Peaky Blinders.

Peaky Blinders. I got that, Paddy.

It was just the accent
I was struggling with.

Ey up! There's a challenge here.

Shall we have a look?

"Welcome to Bolton!"

"Twinned with Le 'mons',
famed for its..."

Stop, stop, stop. Le "mon".

There's no S on Le Mans.

"Welcome to Bolton, twins with..."
Twins? Welcome to Boton?

"Twinned with Le Mans, famed
for its 24-hour endurance race.

"You will now compete
in your own endurance test.

"24 hours without
leaving your company cars."

In Bolton?

24 hours in the car...

...in Bolton.

So, the immediate question is...

Did you have a poo this morning?
No. Did you? No.

I know what I want out of these.
Go on, then.

This is all right, S60 Volvo.
Comfort. Volvo, it's 24 hours!

Take it.

I've already driven one of these
and it's got the most

uncomfortable driver's seat of all
time, so I'm going to have this one.

So, I'm stuck with the most
important car of the decade.

Come on, let me show you the sights!

I still don't know where we poo.

Start.

This is going to be a long 24 hours.

It won't start!

What a weapon!

I can't start it. Oh, no!

Oh, no!

The Oracle!

This man was born in a tin of WD-40.

I 'm embarrassed for him.

His first toy was a clutch.

We're on. Oh, he's started it.

Our House by Madness

So, our 24-hour challenge...

...began.

Through the famous arches
and we're off!

And while Harris and his Beemer
were off to a rocky start...

Oh, don't you start.

...I had picked myself a belter.

Well it's smooth, this.

Oh! Heated steering wheel
how good is that?

Heated seats.

These 24 hours
are going to fly by in this car.

I spend a lot of my life
sitting in a car, so the thought

of spending 24 hours in a car
isn't actually that horrific.

And I've got a couple of things
going for me here.

I think this might be
the roomiest car of the three.

I also have the bladder of
a large camel.

I think I'm in good shape.

Whoa, that's lively!

Just come out of that junction,
put your foot down,

and this thing, blimey!

I 'm finding that in the Volvo
as well which I didn't expect.

It's a sign of the changing times
that I'm in the BMW, the one people

assume would be the fastest,
and it's comfortably the slowest.

What bhp is that BMW?
288. That is mad, isn't it?

The Tesla 3 is 500bhp!

I 've got 40O in a hybrid Volvo.

That's crazy!

Nice Tesla, mate! Thank you.

"Nice Tesla, mate."
That's the youth talking.

Can't believe the weather. I thought
it was always miserable up here.

It's beautiful! It's balmy.

God's country, Chris.

That'd be Lancashire, not Greater
Manchester. This is Lancashire.

The boundary's moved. It was
Lancashire but not any more, Paddy.

You don't just move a boundary.

It's the Red Rose county!

It's Greater Manchester!

Google it on your massive iPad
in your Tesla!

I am a Boltonian
and I'm a proud Lancast-arian.

Lancast-arian!
Unfortunately, you're a Manc.

Bollocks!

Sadly, Flintoff had gone too far

because, with plenty of time to
kill McGuinness now insisted

on showing us what a proper local
he was with a guided tour.

Right, are we ready?

This pub, the Griffin, lads,
my mother used to work

behind the bar in here, and it was
known as the roughest pub in Bolton.

Many a man I've seen lose
a tooth in there.

Happy days.

Oh, now, this is where
I used to work, down here.

I was a semiskilled fitter,

and it was at a plant machinery
place called Vibroplant.

Here it is!

I 've stopped to look at
a boarded-up window, Chris.

Is this the extent of the tour?

And this place here used to be
called Tilcon,

this concrete plant.

I 'm not bothered!

I swapped a Vauxhall Cavalier
for a Montego with a guy who was

a manager here called Ken.

He had a home-made tattoo
on his chest of Bruce Lee.

But life in Bolton wasn't all
pub fights, industrial units,

and chest tattoos.

Oh, no. I 'd saved
the best till last.

This is it, boys,

the street I grew up on,
Auburn Street.

Here we go!

Whoa! Number 26 Auburn Street!

Man!

This house here with
the white door was where

I was brought up from being a baby.

It's a council house,
it was back then,

but, as the years went on,
we moved out of the council house

and moved to
a housing association house.

And I'm going to take you now to
when we started living the dream.

And that's here. Number 3o.

That's where we started
living the dream.

To be honest, I can't believe
they've not got a blue plaque up.

But, you know... Fred. Yes, Chris?

Do you think Pad could do
this one on his own?

My darling brother! How are you,
brother? Good to see you, man.

How are you, man?

Look at this. I love you, bro.
We grew up together, didntt we?

We grew up together. Yeah, and his
mum used to shout t' Patrick! t'

And everybody would run
home as well. Good to see you, man.

I'm made up I've seen you. No, no...

Much as I hate to admit it,
it's quite joyous watching Paddy

come home because
they love him here.

I can't believe I'm seeing you.
How's the family? OK? Oh, yeah.

At least they love him somewhere.

Another Day In Paradise
by Phil Collins

With the McGuinness
mystery tour concluded,

and, if nothing else, a useful
chunk of the day used up,

it was time to get back to
the practicalities of our challenge.

Has anyone else got one of these
Shewees in the car? A what?

Could you repeat that, please?

Yeah, I 'm just looking at mine
now but...

...how does that help you
with a number two?

Oh, yeah, might be tricky
squeezing that down a pipe.

Lads, just a thought, if we're
spending 24 hours in these cars,

we're going to need supplies.

Any thoughts on where to go, Pad?

Yeah, I have got the place.

And that place is...

...Bolton Market.

Purveyors of everything you might
need for 24 hours in your car.

Oh, bedding, there, I can see it.

Have you got bedding? plenty, mate!

Lovely! Right, firstly,
what togs do you do?

18-and -a - half and 15.

Give us a 15 and two pillows.

Thattll keep you warm, wontt it?

15 tog. 15 tog. Bounce-back soft
pillows. Bounce-back soft!

Get them in the back.

Can I get two pillows and a duvet?

Thank you.

Can you get me two pillows
and a duvet?

Look at that, that's service!

The white tiger, the leopard,
give Chris Harris the unicorn.

Oh, Paddy, can I have the unicorn?
Fred will have the unicorn.

Paddy! Yeah?

Bog roll.

Stocked up with everything
we needed...

...next, it was time
for a spot of lunch...

Margaret!

...from one of Bolton's
finest eateries.

Good to see you!

Can we have a lightly battered
and mushy peas for Fred,

and a couple of pickled
eggs for Chris?

Right.

This is good.

I tell you, I'm enjoying
not getting out of the car.

I am, but I 've got
a bit of an issue now, Paddy.

I might have to try the
Shewee at an opportune moment.

And you see, that is
the beauty of Bolton.

Whatever you need,
she's got you covered.

Including a tranquil spot
on the outskirts of town,

should you need a bit of privacy.

Where are we going now?
Lovers' Lane.

Is that its official title
or something you gave it?

You don't want to know its official
title, not on the BBC.

Tell you what, Fred... Yeah?

This Greater Manchester place
is lovely.

You can see its capital right over
there in the distance to the right.

Actual Manchester.

You've got Greater Manchester
and now if you turn around

and look the other way,
you'll see God's Country, Preston.

This is Lancashire.

And this...

...is Lovers' Lane.

Here we go, boys. Teenage dreams
were made up here.

The mind boggles.

I am going in, lads, I 'm going in!

I 'm doing it, I 'm doing it!

How is it? Oh... heaven.

Oh...

Oh... I 've missed it!

No!

I 've done it all over my pants.

No, no, don't.

Oh, no, no, you dirty...

You can't touch the floor.

I 'm not touching t'floor,
I want to get some sun on me pants.

How bad is it? For Christ's sake!

Who did this? It started leaking.

I'm not a doctor...
My windscreen wipers are on!

Fred! No!

Now, at this point...
I don't know what to do!

...the producers decided
that our company car review

had started to wander off-course.

Get off, you dirty git!

So, they told us to head straight
to a nearby racetrack

for a proper test.

And insisted that, on the way,
we - to use their words -

grow up and talk about the cars.

OK, this thing doesn't feel like
a BMW to me. I am a huge BMW fan.

When I get in them,

I feel the BMW DNA because
they feel like drivers' cars.

But, in going hybrid,

it feels like this 3 series
has slightly lost its way.

The steering's very light,
the cabin's unfamiliar.

And, I have to say, after the Tesla,
does look complicated and dated.

And there's nothing
really special about it.

As tested,
this is a nick under 50,000.

And for about the same money,
you could have the S60.

Not only are its heated seats great
for drying out the odd spillage...

...it's also quicker and more
powerful than Harris' Beemer.

But, because it's a Volvo,
it doesn't shout about it.

There's no big spoilers, there's no
big wheel and flared arches.

Volvo tend to do their own
relaxed, Scandinavian thing.

It's comfortable, it's safe.
It's solid.

Which is all well and good.

But if you're looking for something
to really surprise you,

the Model 3...

...is the one you want.

I've been in the car
a good few hours now,

and I've got to tell you...

...I really like it.

It's So quick,

lovely to drive, comfortable,

the range has held up well -
322 miles on a full charge.

If I was a salesperson travelling
up and down the motorways

of the UK, this car would be
a no-brainer for me.

With the producers appeased
by some proper road testing

and already well over
seven hours into our challenge,

soon we arrived at the
Three Sisters go-kart track,

ready to take on a serious
company car test.

Thank you.

Challenge, boys.

"Time for a team-building exercise.

"To see how your company cars
handle company,

"you will see who can do the fastest
lap of the track...

"..with your colleagues on board."
Oh, we're in together. That's nice.

Not really because the rules
of our 24-hour challenge stated

we couldn't set foot
outside of our cars.

It meant for this test, first,
we'd have to clamber between them.

There's wee on those!

Fred! No!

I 'm in! Have you got your helmet?

I 've got my helmet.

Oh, God.

Oh, tell you what,
it's good to have a stretch.

Oi, oi, oi! don't do that!
You'll go through it!

I'm just going to put my foot
on your car. Do not move.

Move off, go on. Wait, wait, wait.

Now, go on.

That's it...

You've got the central...

Open the door, you clown!

I'm in. Hello, Paddy.
Nice of you to join.

So, two laps each of Three Sisters'
tight, challenging circuit,

and first to lay down the company
car benchmark was the 330e.

Get off!

It's team bonding, this.

I 've not done anything!

Stop being jumpy. Right, just...

What? Right, stop that!

Are you ready? Yes. Three...

...two, one, go! Go, go, go!

Oh, he's having a go!

We will crash!
We will... We will crash!

Trying to get you comfy!
We will crash!

Somewhere to put your head!

Lads, we will crash if you do that.

What are you doing?

I'm going to have to make
him safe. Get that, lad.

I am going to trump, mate,
what BLEEP are you doing?

Oh, you pressed
the stopwatch as Well Paddy.

The stopwatch has stopped.

Start again, Chris.

Right, stop it.

Why are you doing that to me?
This is team bonding!

It's not me, it's him in the back.

You put a duvet in front of my face!

Once the board meeting... wrapped
up... it was time for another go.

Have a minute, Chris, you're
a racing driver. Three, two, one...

Go.

Put your window up, Paddy!
Put your window up!

Why have you got your window down?
Put your...!

Me blanket's gone!

Oi, that's my duvet for tonight!

Your pillow's been sucked
out the back!

Oh, no!

Oh, no!

Oh, my word! We've lost the duvet!

Come on, Chris!

You two are a pair... You are...
Go on, Harris!

Now be carefull there
might be a duvet on the track!

Hold on, there's another pillow!
That's my pillow!

That is my pillow!

Give it a go, this is the turn!

Oh, God! TYRES SCREECH

Geez! I mean, quite frankly, how are

we supposed to do
a business meeting...

This is team bonding.
..when you're driving like that?

Why are you driving like a berk?

What was the time? ':4'. Dead.

Lovely time, Christopher.

I'm speechless at your behaviour,
you two.

PADDY BURPS What?

With the benchmark set,
despite my imbecile colleagues,

next to take the wheel was Flintoff.

What's going on? He's going
out the roof, isn't he? Oh...

Yeah, and no bagging.

So you're really going out the
roof, are you, Fred? No, not now!

Oh, that's not nice!
I can't get out!

That's not nice!

And with another important
board meeting concluded...

I can't handle this!
Oh, I'm crying here!

...we eventually
clambered aboard the Volvo.

Where it was time to see what
Flintoff could do with 400 horsepower.

Hold out, Paddy,
the rug's coming off. Oh, no!

Oh, no, no, no! No-one needs that.

Flintoff, don't crash, all right?
Three, two, one...

Go. Here we go.

Ooh, right, don't overcook it
here because the next one,

you've got to... Right. Ooh...

It's got some dough, hasn't it?

That's too fast, be carefull
be careful. Easy, Chris.

This is quicker than mine,
this is fast!

Don't overcook this one.
What's wrong?

Look at the brakes.
He's not even hit 'em!

Oh, God! Oh, God! We're over.

Use the track! Use the track!

Hold on, Fred...!

Chris, stop it, you're...

Chris, you're making me...
I'm going to have to have a drink.

Oh, my God! What are you doing?
I'm covered in piss 'n' Coke now!

Piss 'n' Coke,
it's like being in the '90s again.

I want this to end!
I want this to end!

The Coke's running down my back!

Slow down, Fred,
that's way too quick!

Oh, no!

Oh, no, here we go!

Oh, my God! He's caught it.

Fred. What? That is massive damage.

And over the line.

I don't think we're buying a Volvo.

It's all right. It's right, that.
That's fine.

It definitely wasn't.

Not only had Flintoff finished
a full five seconds slower

than my much less powerful BMW...

I can't get in. I'm stuck.

...he'd spent the extra time

completely trashing
a whole side of his S60.

That's push out, that.

All of which meant
the boardroom door was now

well and truly open
for McGuinness and his Tesla.

Three, two, one, go!

Easy, Paddy.

Paddy, too fast, too fast,
too fast! Shut up.

I don't like this at all.
Me neither.

Has he got any idea...?
It's too fast, this car, for you.

He's too fast!

You're going to be
going so fast at the end.

You've got to brake. Shut up!

Brake, brake, brake, brake! Not yet.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

TYRES SCREECH There we go.

Bloody hell fire, Paddy.
This is a good lap. This is quick.

Oh, you're off here.

Don't worry. I am worried, Paddy.
Don't tell me not to worry!

I 'm very worried!

And brake hard, brake hard!

All right, lads!
Lads, it's all right!

This is fast. I reckon this is
going to be the winning one.

There we are.

What was that, Fred?
Oh, it was horrible.

Geez, that's a fast car.
But it handles as Well doesn't it?

It comes out the corners incredibly
well. What did you get, Chris? 1.41.

'1.4' dead. You got '1.49'.

Two tenths off, Paddy! So close!

Not bad for a stand - up comedian,
I'll give you that.

Oh, my God, get off.

We're going to a business
meeting now.

And we're not going in the Volvo.

Who's going to hire us
if we turn up in a crashed car?

Will you stop it, please?

The man from Volvo's
just over there.

So, our first proper
company car test was over,

and while Harris and his Beemer
had just beaten my Tesla to the win,

it's fair to say team Volvo
had had a bumpy ride.

I feel bad about that.

I feel bad for that.
It's too good a car for that.

On the plus side, though,
Flintoff's trousers had dried out...

Oh, that's better.

...and after his success
on the track,

Harris was just starting
to warm to his car.

- Kind of.
- What can I help you with?

What you can do is just
be quiet for ever.

We were closing in on the halfway
mark of our 24-hour challenge.

And, keen to keep up
the serious company car testing,

at a nearby petrol station,
the producers told us to fill up

to see what our busy day
on the road had cost us.

Oh!

This would be a lot easier
if I could touch the floor.

We're in. It's a waiting game now.

Have you finished? Yeah.

17 quid. '7?

I 've put in... 99.28.

Can't argue with it.

Of course, this is the point
where normally the electric car

comes a cropper.
How long is this going to take?

Probably about 25 minutes.
Are you pulling my leg?

It's always going to be
the cheapest to fill up.

It's just that waiting for it to
charge has always been

unbelievably dull.

I'm getting thoroughly bored now.

Having said that, this is a Tesla.

Hang on, lads. I've found something.

I've found a karaoke
machine in my car.

Hey, Paddy. I 'm always up
for karaoke. Climb through, get in.

All right.

Here we go.

Don't You by Simple Minds

Now we're living!

Paddy, I 'm just going to
say one thing.

I 'm going to buy one of these
cars on the strength of that!

Do you want a singsong? Do you want
to sing along to the karaoke?

Come and get yourse
around the car!

Everybody get ready!

Everybody!

Oh, dear, Paddy, what are we doing?

A karaoke machine in a car.

All that's missing
is a fruit machine in the boot

and I'm going nowhere.

And also, as Well
how weird was that having people

so close to you in the car.

That was literally
the start of this year, that.

Some things never change, though.

Halfway through the first show of a
new series, Flintoff's had a crash.

I blame you two putting me off.
I'm trying to drive, and you're,

"Oh, mind the tyres, mind
the tyres!" just let me drive!

The trouble is, you didn't
mind the tyres, you hit 'em.

No, I kissed them.

Why would you put them there
if you're not meant to use them?

Just nip back on. All right,
I admit it, it's not a good start.

Half hour in on BBC one, I 've
dented a car, I've wet my pants...

At this rate, they're going to send
us back to BBC Two, aren't they?

Geez!

Now, there's a new
top-of-the-range Ferrari out,

and frankly, there was
Only one person for the job.

Someone who just loves driving.

Someone who will stop at nothing
to get behind the wheel.

Sadly, Dominic Cummings
wasn't available.

Too soon. Too soon.

So we sent Chris Harris instead.
How's your eyesight?

Is it all right?

OPERA SinGinG

This is the Ferrari SF90.

At 400,000, it isn't the most
expensive Ferrari ever made,

but it is definitely
the most complicated.

Because as well as the four-litre,
twin-turbo V8 you'd expect,

it also has no fewer than
three electric motors

and four-wheel drive.

They've put it all
to good use, though,

because the SF 90 packs
a frankly staggering...

...1,000 horsepower.

1,000 horsepower.
Think about that for a minute.

1,000.

Inever thought I 'd see the day.

What we have here is nothing less
than the fastest,

most powerful Ferrari road car
ever made.

The thing is an absolute missile.

The gear changes are just
whip, snap, gone.

0-6o in 2.5 seconds.

From a standing start, seven seconds
later it's doing 130mph.

Top speed,
a totally irrelevant 200mph.

Dear me.
Get your head round that lot.

And while you're at it,
get your head around this lot.

The braking system
is the most advanced

and complicated of any road car.

It's fly-by-wire, so there's
no physical connection between

the pedal and what's happening, and
that in your brain is disconcerting.

The steering...
It's electric as well.

But the systems are so clever
on this car that it brings it

together into a believable,
enjoyable driving experience.

But perhaps the most remarkable
thing about this very clever

Ferrari is that it can also do this.

This is the first Ferrari you can
drive on electric power alone.

It's bizarre. All I can hear
is a bit of tyre noise,

and the fans going off
to keep me cool.

Now, to be absolutely clear,
in this mode,

the SF 90 won't be worrying
any Teslas.

70, 80...

Yeah. That's flat out.

Especially as its pure
electric range is just 15 miles.

And once you've used them up, you've
either got to start the engine

again to recharge the battery,
or stop and plug it into a wall.

It's a nice party trick,
but apart from making you feel a bit

smug, in reality,
15 miles of range is a bit useless.

And, speaking of useless...

No.

No.

No.

No.

That's your only luggage space.

Everything you need for a weekend
away has to go in there.

It's less than ideal.

Forget boot space
and gimmicky electric drive, though.

This is a Ferrari.

And what really matters is whether,
through all its technology

and clever driving modes,
the SF90 still ultimately

feels like a Ferrari should
when you start to push it.

OK. So I'm starting in CT off.

So now I've got traction
control that allows

a bit of slip at the rear.
Let's see what happens.

Look at that!

That's not me.

I've just got my foot
buried on the throttle,

and it's holding it there for me.

It's clever.

It's clever.

Is it enjoyable? I'm not quite sure.

I'm more in awe of it than dining
out on how it feels at the moment.

The way that it'll hold a drift, the
button should be called drift mode.

It's doing it all for me.

So, we know it'll make you
feel like a driving god with

the electronic assistance
switched on.

The question now is...

...what's a 1,000 horsepower hybrid
like to handle

with it all switched off?

Right, here we go, then.

We're going to go through to
you're on your own mode. ESC off.

Whoa!

OK.

Oh, there's a lot going on here.

What's happening is, I'm having to
try and predict the way

the computers are going to split
the power front to rear.

Too much steering angle
and it robs power,

too little steering angle
and it goes straight on.

Oh, good Lord, yeah.

You've got to be on your
A-game in this thing.

There we go. There we go!

Oh, that felt good!

Yes, baby!

Woohoo!

Whoa!

You know what?

Normally in a Ferrari, I get in it
and I just turn everything off,

because then it's just me
and the machine and my input.

But for the first time ever...

...I'm coming back one.

I want the computer helping me
in this bad boy,

because I think Ineed it.

Ferrari calls the SF90
its flagship.

Its mission statement
for the next decade.

But if the blueprint for what
Ferraris of the future should be

is a car that puts technology
before the driver,

then I'm not sure
that's the future I want.

It seems that they got so hung
up on making the SF90 the fastest,

the cleverest, the newest, that they
forgot what was really important.

Yes, it's a
stunning technical achievement.

But I'm not sure
it's a great driver's car.

I'm not sure it's a great Ferrari.

OK? Very.

Paddy, Inever thought
I 'd see the day.

The great Chris Harris,
racing driver, supercar tamer,

having to dial it back a bit, eh?

That Ferrari SF90 a little bit
too spicy for you, Chris?

Ah... You tasted the vindaloo
and went for a korma. Shocking.

Look, it wasn't too fast and scary,

just the calibration was a bit
inconsistent. How about this, then?

We finish filming, and Ferrari
produces another car and goes,

"Try this."

And it fixes all the problems.
But you can't buy it.

You can't buy that car? What's even
the point of having it? I dunno.

That's Ferrari. It's just Ferrari
being Ferrari.

Well never mind that, because what
I want to know is how fast

would the SF90 go round our track?

Well earlier today, we sent
the Stig out to set a lap time.

Have a look at this.

1,000 horsepower of Ferrari SF90.

This is the Assetto Fiorano kit.

That's 4o grand more, already
over the 400 grand list price.

That looked speeded up to me.
That looked ridiculous.

It does 0-100mph in 4.5 seconds.
Get your head round that.

OK, it's already looking very fast.

It's on the Michelin Cup R tyre,
really, really fast, sticky tyre.

You're looking for great things.

A little bit of oversteer
going into Chicago there.

Beautifully held by the Stig.

I mean, the speed out of Chicago,
this thing is all about numbers,

about just breaking your body
down with sheer force.

Braking stability very
good into Hammerhead, look at this.

Takes the left one,
what's the right change like?

Oh, it's just flat, isn't it?
Absolutely flat.

Flatter than
Paddy McGuinness' stand - up crowd.

Look at the exit there.

Again, it's putting power down,
four-wheel drive,

electric motors at the front,
single electric motor at the back.

This is one of the few cars that
the Stig's had to brake through

the Follow-Through.

Normally it's flat out,
but he had to brake there.

Look at the speed he's carried.

It's outrageous.
The thing's a rocket sled.

Second -to-last, the most difficult
corner on the circuit.

Oh, he's really nailed that.
Fantastic line.

Nibble of grass there through Gambon
and over the line.

I didn't have long to speak,
it was so fast. Wow.

That was quick. It actually looked
faster on the tape. What do you reckon?

Look up there, we've got
the Porsche 9" GT2 RS up there.

I think you can forget
anything down here.

It's the GT2 RS and north
we're looking at. It was so quick.

All right, Well I 've got the time
here, Chris. And I can tell you...

...the Ferrari SF90...

...looking at the board...

...went round in...

...one minute ".3... What?!
..which is the fastest ever!

Oh!

For a car to go that much
faster by that margin is unheard -of.

The thing is a monster.

And this is the start of the next
ten years for them,

so just watch out.

That is an absolute rocket.

Right.

Next on the boardroom agenda
is part two of our company car

adventure where, as you'll remember,

we were Halfway through
spending 24 hours in our cars.

Back to the north!

With the prospect of a long
night in our company cars stretching

ahead of us, the producers had
kindly lined up another test.

This time, telling us to head to the
top of a specially closed -off

and tantalisingly empty
multistorey car park.

The plot thickens.

What is afoot here?

I've always wanted to behave
badly in a car park.

I hope it just involves that.

We've got a challenge
on this cone here.

"You will now test the performance
of your company cars with

"the Top Gear
Multistorey Car Park Hill Climb.

"Start at the entrance,
get to the top as quick as you can."

That's right up your street, Harris.
Look how happy he is!

Like the simplest recipes,
it's the finest.

Paddy, the good news is,
you're up first in your Tesla.

Get down the bottom, son,
I'll see you in a minute.

Certainly will!

Yes, because any good company
car needs to be

nimble around the car park.

We'd now see which of ours was best
in a sprint up all ten

floors of Wigan's Mitigate
multistorey.

In three...

...two...

...one... Go!

Whoa!

I think that thing
is almost too fast.

Whoa!

I think it'll be terrifying.

Night-time and a bit of tiredness
doubles the horsepower.

Oh!

He's coming.

That left off will get less grip
as he comes up. Listen to that.

It's an understeer fest.

Oh, water!

A bit greasy.

Oh, my word. Chequered flag!

Bloody hell. That was fast.

How was that?
That was quick with a capital F.

The time was one minute...

...point five. What?

I was expecting...
I wanted a sub-6o seconds.

I'm a little bit disappointed.

With the Tesla laying down

what fell like an unbeatable
fast benchmark...

This is just mind - bending.
It just goes, bip-boop-bip-boop!

Like that up against the window!

Next it was time
for Harris and his Beemer

to go and put a big old tick
on the bucket list.

Here we go, Chris.
Three, two, one, go!

Here we go.
I have always wanted to do this.

Now, we'll definitely
hear him skidding.

Wow! Oversteer in a car park!
Yes, baby.

Can you hear him? Skiddy.

Come on, BMW! She's sliding.

Half a minute gone.

He said this is a dream of his.

Wow!

I don't think his dream was
getting beat by you in it, though.

Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh!

That was fun.

A life goal achieved.
I don't really care about the time.

Oh, you don't care about the time?

Chris, Paddy went round in '1: 00.5.

You went round in '1:02.'3.

Very happy with that, boys.
That was superb. He's not.

That was as much fun as I've had all
day long, and it's been a funny day.

Right, you're up next, cooker.

As Captain Crash lined up to
take his shot at the Tesla, the big

question now was, just how much
of the Volvo would reach the finish?

Are you in position, Eddie Skid?

I am, mate.
I just want to get to the top.

OK. Three...

...two, one, go!

Foot down. Brake, brake, brake!

Anything can happen here.

You wait. When you see a floor
collapse, he's taken a pillar out. Yeah.

I don't want to put
any more dents in this car.

Go, go, go!

Wait till you hear it.

Oh, God, have you pressed go on the
stopwatch? You've got the stopwatch.

I haven't got it. I've not got it.

I 'm going as hard as I can.

I said to you, I'm handing
over to you to send him off.

Well I haven't got the stopwatch.

Well who's got it, then?

Go, go, go, go on!

Do you want to tell him, or me?

Do you want to tell him?

Er, Fred? All right, lads?

Er, do you want the good news
or the bad news?

The good news is I 'm here.

Well the good news is,
yeah, you're here,

and looked nice
and tidy at the top there.

You want the bad news?

What is it?

He's not got the stopwatch.

He told me when you were up here,
he said, "Who's got the stopwatch?"

I said, "You, you started the race."

Why did he start it, then? I said
go, I thought he had the stopwatch.

But we don't have a stopwatch. Oh,
I've got the stopwatch! He's got it!

58 seconds.

58 seconds.

No, but listen!

I 'm happy that I 've got this
car up in one piece.

I think sending me again
would be reckless.

I just see it, there's no more
dents in my car, it's a win.

Quite right.

And with the Volvo
spared another beating

and the Tesla taking
multistorey hill climb gold...

...back on the road,

all that thorough testing
was catching up with us.

Lads, I think we're around at about
15 hours we've been in the car.

I'm rooted. Can we go
and find somewhere to stay, please?

Oh, yes, we could.

Because back in the majestic
town of Bolton,

in Lancashire, I 'd called in a few
favours and lined up just the place.

There she blows, lads.

Plenty of room. Nice and secure.

They've even left
the lights on for us.

That's a football stadium.

Correct.

The home of Bolton Wanderers.

Look at this! Oh, ho, ho, ho!

The real theatre of dreams.

Or nightmares.

Once we'd parked up in the world's
most brightly lit lay-by...

Time to get snuggled, lads.

...all we could do
was try to get comfy.

Roll it out!

This Tesla is unbelievable.

I have got a full-size
double bed in the back.

And while six-foot-four Flintoff

was somehow posting himself
into his own boot,

McGuinness's bedtime routine

turned to tweaking the ambience
in his Tesla.

Unbelievable. The things it's
got on this thing. Pad? Yeah?

I'm snuggled in, but it's basically broad
daylight and it's about Half past 12...

What has just happened?

You'll have to say that again,
something just happened,

something mad in my car.

It's Half past 12 and it's broad
daylight.

Hang on. Give me a sec.

Dougie!

Dougie!

No light y!

There they go. Lovely stuff.

Oh...

Get in the back now.

Oh, wonderful stuff.

Now, the Tesla is perfectly
fine for a night away.

But I 'd be doing a disservice to
Bolton if I didn't also

mention that the Wanderers Stadium
has a very nicely equipped hotel.

Stroke of genius.

It's not the comfiest, this,
but it's all right.

It's Half two in the morning.

OK.

Fred?

Yeah? How did you sleep?

Yeah... Yeah.

Is McGuinness up?

Yes, I am here. Um...

I've got to say,
the Tesla surprised me all day,

and all night it surprised me.
Toasty and warm, loads of room.

It's the way forward, this car.

How long we got left?

Just over Half an hour, boys.

I have to say,

this trip has confounded
all my expectations about the north.

I love it.
The people have been lovely,

and the weather appears to be
the same as St Tropez.

Which is it next,
Bristol or Preston?

I think it's only right we should go
to Lancashire next. Preston.

Boom!

Bolton is Lancashire.

So, the end of our 24-hour challenge
was in sight, and it's fair to

say, as company cars go, all three
had proven remarkably good company.

But, as the final few
minutes ticked away,

the producers had one more
surprise in store.

Challenge. Bit early.

"Congratulations, nearly made it.
Just one more race.

"In your briefcases you will find
a high-protein Swedish breakfast

"suitable for
the on-the-go businessman.

"First to eat some wins."

Some?

Yep. Just one tiny mouthful.

Oh, no!

What do I tell you, lads?
I've tried these things before.

These are the most hideous
things you've ever...

When you open this tin,
just get ready.

It's called Surstromming, or, to put
it simply, fermented Baltic herring.

Whoa!

Oh!

Oh!

I 've literaly pierced it,
and the smell... I'm out.

Tin of sardines, lads.
I loved sardines when I were a kid.

Sardines on toast, or pilchards in
tomato sauce, lovely. I'm going in.

Oh...

Oh, that's potent.

Bleugh!

The BLEEP!

Gee...!

Aargh!

Get that out...

of this car!

Argh...

I can't stay in here.

Stick your challenge!

Argh!

Oh...

I can still smell it! I can't get
away from it! I'm going up there.

I've stopped retching...

Here, now, where I am... just
about getting away from the smell

and I'm not exaggerating.

Oh, it's set me back, that.

I'm not giving up.

It's my one chance to beat
Flintoff at one of these things.

Oh...

That is horrendous.

Arrgh!

I tell you what, the pitch looks
absolutely fantastic from up here.

The pitch looks wonderfull lads!

Inviting. I can't do it!

Oh, hang on, I think Chris Harris is
being a little bit sick.

DISTANT RETCHinG

I didn't even eat it and look
at the effect it's had on me.

Wonderful stuff.

And with the magnificent Wanderers
stadium now pretty much unusable...

...we reach the end of a very
thorough 24-hour company car test.

I just need to go somewhere.

Can you bags y me
the trap next to you?

I'll leave you some paper.

There we go. That's that.

Oh...

That were evil.

Horrible stuff.
The worst thing ever.

Ever!

How the hell you stayed in that car
with that, I will never know.

It is horrendous. I can still smell
it. It was horrible.

But now they've all been fumigated,
we need to decide

which of these company cars was
the best, because,

if you think about it, they've all
got their good bits and their bad bits.

The BMW was the fastest
around the track,

the Tesla was the fastest
up the multistorey car park,

the Volvo was the best
after it crashed...

Hang on a minute, hang on a minute.

You cheated. Prove it.
There's a video of you!

You got out of your car
in the middle of the night

and stayed in a hotel Pad.

And I reckon that's not
the first time you've been caught

on CCTV creeping around Bolton! Hey?

You've got a greatest hits
on there, Paddy!

Good point, good point.

No, the point is,
you're a bit of a cheat, Pad.

Well I was a cheat with a flushing
toilet and a chocolate on my pillow.

So, this is the way it works.

You're disqualified
for getting out of your car.

You're disqualified for crashing
your car. So the BMW is the winner!

CHEERING No, no, no, no!

So... Is that the one you'd have?

No, I 'd have the Model 3,
it's fantastic!

Same here,
just for the karaoke machine!

So what we're saying is,
if you want a company car,

choose the Tesla Model 3.

And if you want to spend 24 hours
stuck in one place, choose a hotel.

Quality consumer advice.
And just for the record, Paddy,

Bolton, Greater Manchester.

Lancashire! Nope!

Right, that's all until next week,
when the big lad

does 200mph in a car, and we attempt
the Top Gear Wall of Death.

Welcome to BBC one, everybody!

See you then, goodnight!

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