Too Hot to Handle (2020–…): Season 3, Episode 1 - Episode #3.1 - full transcript
One, two, in and out.
Remember our season two legends?
That brought a lot of emotions.
I feel like I haven't felt...
As soon as they left the villa,
the very next day,
Lana got straight back to work
with a brand new batch
of horned-up hell-raisers.
Fresh meat, baby!
Who had no idea about season two.
Let the games begin.
Here for what they think is
a wild new dating show.
Welcome to Pleasure Island!
The world is my oyster tonight.
Imagine their disappointment
when the queen of cockblocking...
...reveals herself.
No kissing,
no heavy petting,
and no sex of any kind.
I don't know how I'm gonna make it
through these few weeks.
I hope I don't die.
How will our wildest cast ever...
...react?
Oh my God.
If I wanna rule-break,
I'm gonna rule-break.
♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh ♪
This has cost the group $30,000.
- What?
- Whoa.
$69,000. $60,000.
$57,000. $30,000.
Why did I have that wank?
Oh.
Will our sex-starved singles
form deeper connections?
I feel like I was meant to be here.
I'm gonna go home a different person.
Definitely feelin' this workshop
right now. I feel free.
Cheers to you and I.
I didn't expect to be falling for someone.
Are you like
a one-night stand type of person?
Or are these horndogs just too...
- I'm gonna show you my coochie.
- Whoo!
- ...hot...
- I want one massive orgy.
Watch out, baby!
- ...to...
- Trying to make my balls blue?
- ...handle?
- I'm so horny.
Can I call my mom?
♪ Love makes the world go round ♪
Here we go again
with ten super sexed-up singles
expecting a summer of horny hook-ups.
♪ It ain't about the money, money ♪
And the world's most famous cone,
Lana, is back,
analyzing the world's horniest hotties.
Discreet data collection is essential.
♪ Love makes the world go round ♪
We're in Turks and Caicos again,
but not one of the new kids
has seen a second of season two,
so enticing them in was simple
with the creation of yet another
totally fake, sexy, hot dating show.
Pleasure Island!
I mean, who wouldn't fall for that?
Hosted by none other than Dariany Santana.
And a brand new, no-expense-spared set.
Okay, a couple of branches and a parrot.
So we didn't blow the props budget,
but we sure did blow the babe budget.
Hello, season three!
♪ Here come my girls, now let's roll ♪
♪ We turn it up, yeah, it's time to go ♪
♪ Where the party at?
Gonna bring some soul ♪
♪ Yeah, we hit 'em with the good stuff
The good stuff, oh ♪
- Whoo!
- Hey, babe!
- All right.
- How unreal!
Oh my fucking God!
- Cheers! Don't fall. Cheers.
- Cheers! Oh my God.
- How amazing. Like, how are we here?
- What do you think's gonna happen?
- What, in Pleasure Island?
- Yeah.
I'm guessing a lot of pleasure, hopefully!
- God, you're trouble.
- You know?
You are literally trouble.
Hello!
I went to private school,
and people think I'm gonna be
some up myself girl,
but I probably got with
half of the rugby team.
I've even gone for some cricketers too.
♪ One of the girls ♪
♪ You better watch what you say ♪
I am competitive.
I play hockey in my spare time.
I'm a player on and off the hockey pitch.
♪ D-d-d-dangerous ♪
I normally end things by sending a text.
"I don't think it's going to work out
with us. It's not you. It's me. Kiss."
Send.
♪ One of the girls ♪
I will be the first person to score.
I always am,
and I will be in Pleasure Island.
♪ D-d-d-dangerous ♪
After a few of these, I feel like
some naughty stuff can happen.
I know. I'm just going to apologize
to my parents ahead of time. Sorry!
♪ Sorry, I'm not sorry ♪
I am definitely a black sheep
in my family.
They call me Hurricane Holly
for a reason.
♪ I don't care what the haters say ♪
♪ I'm a star shining every day ♪
This would be good selfie lighting.
I'm quite the heartbreaker.
I love a casual relationship.
And I usually get what I want.
Oh God. So sorry.
Oh, I definitely ooze sexuality
when I talk.
Even the most boring things.
A frying pan. Basil.
Coffee.
So hot. God, I'm blushing.
- Bring out the boys!
- Do you have, like, a type?
Definitely, they've all been
a little bit foreign.
Hopefully we don't fancy the same guy.
We're about to find out.
Oh my God, stop.
What?
Okay, producers,
let's make our first guy something spe...
Holy mother of abs! Yes, please!
♪ I got warrior blood in my veins ♪
Oh my God!
- Hey!
- Hi.
- He's so fit. What's your name?
- How you doing?
Nathan. Lovely to meet you.
- And you. I'm Izzy.
- God, Nathan, you're gorgeous.
- So where are you from?
- So I'm from Cape Town.
- Cape Town? Wow!
- Oh, no way!
So my mom is Zulu.
- So I got the warrior in me.
- Hey!
- Love that!
- I think we're gonna have a blast.
I'm an international playboy. Come on.
♪ Whoo! ♪
I've literally flown
across different countries
on a plane
just to have sex with different girls.
South Africa, England, Germany, America,
Russia, Ukraine, Spanish, Swedish.
Trying to think of the places.
I'm definitely
more of a serial killer dater...
Uh, shall we start that again?
I'm definitely a serial dater.
Pleasure Island sounds like
the Sexy Olympics. I'm here to win gold.
- Welcome to paradise!
- Yeah!
Yeah, you girls look amazing.
You look amazing.
What would you say that your type is?
Big eyes. The eyes
have to speak volumes for me.
Um, great teeth obviously.
Definitely tall.
Cut me out then.
Well, Nathan, you're in luck.
♪ Might spend it on you
Like a millionaire ♪
♪ And if you take my heart from me
I'm not playin' fair ♪
This next girl is tall,
with eyes and teeth.
♪ Oh, oh, oh-oh, oh ♪
I just hope you're a fan of Jaz!
- Hey! Look at you!
- We got a queen!
- Hi!
- Hello!
- How you doing?
- How are you? I'm Jaz.
- Hey, babe.
- Nathan.
Come closer to me, get warm.
- Getting cozy!
- Hitting it off already.
How tall are you?
So I'm 5'9" without heels.
So I know I'm, like, super tall.
- Yeah.
- You're tall.
My name is Jaz. I'm classy and I'm sassy.
♪ Ladies ♪
♪ Tonight we're gonna ♪
♪ Get our sexy on ♪
I have a nice smile. I'm cute.
I have a lot. I have my real hair.
♪ Baby, if you want me ♪
I have a lot of people in my DMs.
It's a little bit of a juggle.
On some days, you see this person,
and then the next person.
I call it when you have
a dick appointment.
♪ Baby, if you want me ♪
I am definitely a sucker for a bad boy.
If I see something I want,
I'm gonna go after it.
May the baddest win.
I mean, I'm the only guy here.
Like, good enough for you three?
Whoa!
- I'm hoping a few more come in.
- I feel like you tick a lot of the boxes.
- You're setting the bar pretty high.
- Guys, come on!
I'm the first guy to walk in.
Give me a couple minutes!
Two minutes?!
This is your two-second warning!
Sound the alarm!
Here comes double trouble!
♪ Oh, child, don't look now ♪
♪ I got a hammer and it's coming down ♪
Hi!
♪ 'Cause I got a hammer
And it's coming down ♪
Hey, boys!
- Welcome!
- Hi!
- How ya doing? Nice to meet ya.
- Hi! Nice to meet you.
Oh my God.
- Are you a model?
- Yes.
- You look like a model.
- You do too.
- What's your typical type of girl?
- I don't have one.
Nothing at all?
- I like 'em all!
- Like, anything?
I get a lot of female attention.
Oh my God.
♪ Let's get it started ♪
Think I look pretty good. You think so?
♪ Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh ♪
Truth will always 99.9% tell the truth,
and that's why I go by that name.
But my real name is...
Robert.
Before I was into girls,
I was into basketball.
I would have a few girls come to
the games. One over there, one over there.
Sometimes I walk past a group of girls
and just do this.
It's no big deal. I could do this all day.
Are you ever told
that you look like a celebrity?
Harry Styles?
Harry Styles, eh?
I can see that, bro!
This can only go in one direction.
Sorry, I just couldn't resist.
♪ Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh ♪
I'm a big fish in a small pond.
Anything happens in my village,
it's major news.
If an old woman fell over,
it'd make the front page of the papers.
♪ Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh ♪
♪ I want ya like that ♪
I'm Harry, and I'm a surgeon.
A tree surgeon. I chop wood for a living.
That's one of my lines,
like, "I'll climb you like a tree."
♪ Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh ♪
I've kissed a lot of frogs to find
a princess. I still haven't found her.
Britney's an ex. Yeah, Cherry's an ex.
Charlotte, Karen.
Kayla?
I've been out with a Kayla.
Not been out with, but slept with.
♪ Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh ♪
I think girls fall for me quite easy.
I promise the house on the hill with
a white picket fence and wedding dress.
How can you settle down
when you've got so many options?
Cringe.
- What would you say your type is?
- Brunette. Nice bum.
Uh, nice smile.
You're basically describing Holly.
If you want Holly, just say that.
Just go over there.
- You could've just said her name.
- I'm trying to play it cool, man.
Sorry, man!
I think
the tree surgeon's got wood.
And now for a Beaux-tiful surprise.
♪ Gotta rock this party
Till we reach the skies ♪
Hello, bunch of fitties!
We're spoilt for choice, bro!
- How are you?
- I'm Beaux.
- What do you do?
- So I'm a legal secretary.
- Sexy secretary, okay!
- I bet you don't wear that to work!
Ah, watch out!
♪ Ain't no party we don't rock ♪
When people look at me,
they automatically think I'm a girly girl,
but secretly I have got
a little bit of a male trait in me.
♪ I don't care
What anybody says about me ♪
Such a classy lady, aren't I?
I mean, I'm not romantic at all.
I'm happy with a date at KFC, to be fair.
♪ Go get it, girlfriend ♪
I change my man
more than I change my knickers.
Am I allowed to say this?
As soon as I see a guy that I fancy,
I give the bloke the sexual eye
and I pounce.
What's your type then?
Straight to the point.
I like a boy with...
Lining up! Line up! Boys, let me see...
Do you want a ladder?
- More of a personality person, obviously.
- I'm back, I'm back!
Oh!
Aloha, hotties.
A Hawaiian hunk is approaching.
But who does he remind me of?
J... J... J... J...
Jason Momoa!
Thanks, boys.
- Hey, I'm Patrick.
- Hello! My name's Beaux.
- He's taller than me!
- Fuck. I'm so small. It's a joke.
He must be Hawaiian.
- Ooh. Spicy!
- Spicy!
- What are you looking for?
- Looks go away with age.
So as long as she's down to earth.
I can share a moment of silence with her
and have a good time.
Uh, roll package?
Sing you a love song!
♪ I'm livin' in Turks and Caicos... ♪
Wait, let me restart.
So you may have seen my face before.
I am on the cover of Mr. Hawaii calendar.
Mr. May is like this.
Mr. July is like this.
♪ Ow! ♪
♪ You make me wanna do bad things ♪
♪ What? ♪
I'm the best tour guide for single women.
You know, I'll take you around.
I can show you the dolphins, the turtles.
A little sex on the beach.
♪ 'Cause you're filthy cute ♪
I know all the plant species in Hawaii.
My favorite flower would be an orchid,
because every flower is unique,
just like every woman.
If you're a bee and you're just right,
you'll get sweet honey, baby.
I always get that sweet honey.
♪ Filthy cute ♪
And what's the flower for?
For yourself or for a woman?
- I guess I'll give it to you.
- Thank you!
I'm a little hot! Thank you.
It's beautiful.
If you put it in your right ear
that means you're taken.
- But if it's in your left...
- I'm single!
♪ I'm unbelievable ♪
Holy smokes. Someone must've
thrown lighter fluid onto the barbie.
Here comes Australia's sexiest export
since ever.
♪ I'm unbelievable, baby, believe it ♪
♪ It's inconceivable
Wait till you see it ♪
♪ I'm unforgettable, you know I mean it ♪
- Oh my God!
- Hey!
- Oh, hey!
- Hello!
- Beaux. Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you!
I'm finished. I'm finished, bro.
- Do you fancy anyone here?
- That's a good question!
Be careful!
Well, yes.
- Oh God!
- Yes!
Oh, I'm excited.
I flirt with anything. And anyone.
I love a little snog.
I love that word.
♪ I don't need an introduction ♪
♪ You already know my name ♪
I am extremely sexual.
Guys like that, and I think that's why
they get super in love with me.
♪ It makes me who I am ♪
♪ I don't take no rejection ♪
I love bad boys.
A narcissist. That is my type.
♪ I do my thing ♪
Australian boys from my area,
they're a bit douchey.
They're jerks.
International guys
just have the spice that I want.
♪ I don't make no exceptions ♪
I'm excited to just
rip anyone's clothes off at this point.
You like a good boy or a bad boy?
Bad, definitely. Definitely bad.
I know. I mean,
I think all us girls go for bad boys.
Speaking of bad boys...
Oh, there's someone coming!
- You are in luck.
- Ooh!
Sleeve tattoos, check.
Just-got-out-of-bed hair, check.
Oh, the leopard shorts! Me!
The last of the horndogs
has just checked in.
♪ Bad, bad man ♪
- Hey.
- What's your name?
- Georgia.
- Stev.
Hi, I'm Beaux.
- Stev. Nice to meet you.
- Hi. Jaz. Nice to meet you.
Everybody here is beautiful so...
Thank you!
- You have a lot of tattoos.
- Not nearly enough, but getting there.
I'm definitely a wild one.
I like to break the rules.
♪ Cause I can't hide ♪
I rip up all my clothes.
I'm essentially homeless-looking.
Homeless chic.
Oh fuck. I sound like a prick.
I'm definitely a bit of a bad boy,
but I've got a sensitive side as well.
If I open that up, it's bees on honey.
I've been told I lead a few on.
I love everybody, that's not my fault.
I am not looking for love.
I'm not here to be a good boy.
People either love me
or they fucking hate me.
So what are you guys
expecting from this island?
Dick.
Oh God!
Oh, Izzy, are you in
for a cone-shaped surprise!
Because in ten hours' time,
dick is about to be
officially off the menu.
- Who are you feeling?
- I'm feeling at least two or three.
- The Australian bird.
- I'm feeling all of 'em!
There are so many
sexy, hot young women at this villa.
Everyone's senses are enlightened.
Everyone's horny.
Ten hotties are all here.
Time to send in Dariany to get them
pumped up for Pleasure Island,
the unimaginably wild
and extremely fake show
they think they're all here for.
What's up, you guys?
- Hello!
- Oh my God!
Welcome to Pleasure Island!
I see why it's called Pleasure Island.
I mean, we have got
a fit little bunch here.
I hope you guys are ready to embark
on a voyage of passion and adventure.
- Definitely.
- I'm ready, I'm ready!
During your stay, there will be
regular deliveries of cargo
that will enhance your experience, so keep
your eyes peeled for some booty drops!
So now we have fake sound effects
to go along with the fake show.
Booty drop.
Whoo!
I'm good at dropping my booty down low,
but I don't know what she's got in store.
And I've already
taken the liberty of planning
your very own swashbuckling pirate party.
Are you ready for a party, bro?
I'm excited for Pleasure Island.
To do whatever, whoever, however.
Talk to you guys later.
"Why go to these lengths?"
I hear you ask.
Well, these soon-to-be sex-starved singles
have no clue that the crafty little cone
is hidden away gathering data
to see how badly behaved they are.
Hey, Lana,
how's your master plan progressing?
Initial data suggests
the Pleasure Island ruse
has been a success.
I will continue to observe and analyze
my guests' behavior.
Tonight, I will introduce myself
and the rules they must adhere to
throughout their stay here.
And where better for Lana to play
Peeping Tom than in our villa of dreams?
It has been given a glow up,
so luckily the sheets have been changed
between seasons.
♪ I need your touch... ♪
- He's at it already!
- They're nice and quiet!
- It's bouncy!
- You both gonna stay there?
Don't get jealous!
Um, nah, I'm gonna give it some time.
Holly has got a bangin', bangin' body.
Um, it's hard not to look at,
so I'm keen to give it a shot with her,
see what she's saying.
Like this?
That was so cute.
Georgia's ass is insane.
I really don't know what else
to say about it. I want to bite it.
Would anyone get with anyone
on the first night?
Or are you all about the vibes?
I'm open to it. It's whatever happens!
I'm definitely on Pleasure Island
for one thing and one thing only.
And we all know what that is.
♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh ♪
- Shower time here, ya know?
- Oh!
A lot of stuff
is gonna be happening in there!
Only if you mean shampooing,
conditioning and exfoliating!
I definitely have my eye on Truth.
Like, he has like the nice smile.
When he started walking down,
my eyes lit up a little bit.
Like, I'm like, "Oh my God!"
"Who is this man?" He looks so cute.
I know who I would like to get with.
I know who I wouldn't.
From first impressions,
Truth is dark, handsome, sexy.
Like, what more could you want?
We just go around, everybody be truthful.
You caught my eye first for sure. So...
I think the same. You're really fit.
We haven't spoken that much. Yeah.
Damn, they're all fine. They are all fine.
Jaz, she has beautiful chocolate skin
I just want a piece of, you know?
And Izzy, she's smokin' hot. Tss!
♪ I'm what you want, baby ♪
♪ So give it up ♪
♪ I won't keep waiting ♪
- Can you believe this place?
- Can't complain at all. It's fuckin' sick.
Nathan's just cute. Like...
- Everybody thinks he's cute.
- He's just... God, he's attractive.
The things I would do to that man. Mm!
Oh, I don't even wanna say that.
But Patrick gave me a flower.
I thought that was really endearing.
I feel like he might have,
like, some deep levels to him.
Oh, bro. I gave the flower
to the wrong girl, man.
I gave it to Holly
and I instantly regretted it
as soon as I saw Georgia walk in.
- Really?
- I was like...
Well, you can't deflower her.
Lana definitely won't allow that.
Georgia is the girl of my dreams.
She is a goddess.
- What do you like most in a girl?
- Physically?
- Yeah.
- I'm an eyes guy.
- Eyes guy?
- I really... There's just something about...
I can't tell you what eye color
one of these girls has.
- Really? I can tell you, bro.
- I've been lookin' at all their asses.
Oh man. Georgia's got those green eyes,
with that little bit of red tint,
some brown in it.
Well, if you're going for Georgia,
all I gotta say is best of luck. So am I.
Yeah, best of luck, bro.
- May the best man win.
- Exactly.
- No hard feelings, bro.
- No, never.
He's got the flower thing.
I think that's just his move. Um...
I don't need a move.
Bad boy vs. flower boy.
Looks like it's game on.
Oh wow.
Wow, this is so pretty.
Turns out me and Patrick
have very similar taste,
but if I want someone, I'mma get 'em.
I'm the king of this motherfucker.
I'm gettin' the girl.
Your nails and the tattoos is so nice.
- You're gonna clean me up?
- Want me to paint them?
I brought some nail polish.
They're chipping.
Anyone else slightly disappointed
with this bad boy chat?
I wanted to talk to you first.
Make sure you knew what was up.
- Do you think he's putting it on her?
- For sure.
He's probably saying,
"You're the most beautiful girl."
- You're definitely the prettiest here.
- That's so nice.
- Not to slam on you, but for sure.
- Thank you.
There seems to be a lot of competition
with Georgia, so...
Oh, let the games begin!
Not everybody has your eyes.
They're not brown or green.
They're a mixture of both
with some orange thrown in.
That's weird. I didn't know that.
I thought they were just brownish.
You don't look in the mirror enough.
Makes sense.
Um, I'm pretty sure
I've heard this somewhere before.
I can't tell you what eye color
one of these girls has.
Georgia's got those green eyes with that
little bit of red tint, some brown in it.
I stole Patrick's move.
All's fair in love and war.
We need to talk more.
You make me feel good about myself.
I'm here to please.
In more ways than one.
Oh my God.
Stevan,
we really, like, get along.
I'm not sure who I want to
hook up with more, like Harry or Stevan.
I think Patrick's pretty cute too.
I don't know.
Definitely gonna have
some hook-ups on Pleasure Island.
I just gotta get Izzy by herself.
Make her focus on me.
Jaz is a beautiful girl,
but Izzy gives me one of those vibes
that I just want a piece of.
You just know, like, okay,
you know she's a freak.
- This is a beautiful place.
- Unreal.
- I'm with a beautiful girl.
- Thank you.
I've had my eyes on you
pretty much the whole time...
- From the start?
- From the start.
I know we haven't got to talk too much...
I was interested to see what you felt,
'cause you hold your cards
quite close to your chest.
So I didn't know what you were thinking.
Yeah. But now I'm thinkin' about you.
Truth is definitely
making some moves.
You can literally feel the sexual tension.
What do you reckon's
gonna happen tonight then?
Who you gonna sleep with?
- If you're asking me, maybe you?
- Hm. I would like that.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
You look a little uncomfortable.
You can just come to this side.
You're gonna have to help me.
Come here. Over here, turn this way.
I don't want you to fall off.
I will as well.
- That's better.
- It's way better. This is amazing.
I love this place.
I don't think I'll leave.
- We're not leaving? No?
- Not if you don't want to.
We can stay here.
You've got sexy lips.
- Do you think?
- Mm-hm.
- Can I see?
- Yeah.
♪ Ooh baby, ooh baby ♪
♪ Tonight is all about you, baby ♪
♪ You, baby ♪
Are you serious?!
They just kissed.
It's so romantic. How could you not?
I can't believe that.
We're gonna one-up it.
We're gonna fix that.
I like a challenge,
so when I saw Truth make his move,
it's time for me to make a bigger move
with Georgia tonight. It's gonna get wild.
- I wasn't expecting that.
- You're a great kisser.
- You're good.
- You're pretty good.
I gotta see more later, we'll see.
- We'll see.
- If you're lucky.
- If I'm lucky.
- Yeah.
This is what Pleasure Island's about.
It was definitely a good snog.
Jaz is a lovely girl,
but I'm better.
Uh-oh!
This has high potential to get awks.
So let me get this straight.
We've got a love triangle
with Jaz, Izzy and Truth.
And a love square with Stevan,
Patrick, Harry and Georgia.
Damn, I guess geometry can be sexy!
- And so can pirate parties.
- Arr, me hearties!
♪ Hit it hard! ♪
But once Lana shows up,
they won't be jolly or roger.
I'm super excited for this pirate party.
I'm expecting maybe a booty drop
from the sky. Maybe a treasure chest.
Whoa, hold on!
Did he just say the B word?
I forgot to press the sound effect.
Rewind!
A booty drop.
This can't be for guys?
My titties are gonna
look unreal in that!
- Watch out, baby!
- ♪ Hit it hard! ♪
That's a look, that.
I've got the best outfit.
I got my guy over here. I call him Skully.
And I'm going for Izzy.
♪ Hit it hard! ♪
Georgia's one of the most beautiful women
I've ever seen in my entire life.
I have to let her know that I do like her.
- Hey.
- Oh, hi!
Since the first moment I saw you,
I thought
you were one of the most beautiful girls
I've ever seen.
Oh really? That's so nice!
There's a lot of competition.
I have to make the move early.
- I picked you this flower.
- Oh, thank you.
You're welcome.
It's amazing. So cute.
I think all the bushes are empty.
There's no flowers left.
Georgia, I think she wants me.
Might be able to
fall in love with this girl.
I would love to just kiss her romantically
on the beach.
Our pirates might be
gagging for booty,
but in two teensy hours,
Lana's no-sex bombshell
is going to more than rock the boat.
What these hunks miss
in historical accuracy,
they make up for in horniness.
The ship has arrived, baby! Whoo!
Ha-ha! Let's get it, boys.
- Grab some drinks, boys.
- Drinks for the boys.
I saw earlier my boy Truth
got some shit poppin' at the hammock!
You kept this quiet!
The hammock was nice.
Are you trying to like move with it,
or just like...
Something's gonna happen tonight.
Something's definitely gonna happen.
Congratulations, playboy!
- First to the hit!
- Here's to the first kiss under the villa!
All right, so while y'all were changing,
Georgia started doing her makeup
in the bedroom.
I walked in, I handed her a flower
and I think Georgia likes me.
Uh?
He's got the flower thing,
but he gave one to Holly.
If you do it twice to different girls
on the same day, it's a little tacky.
That's rich coming from the guy
who stole his line about Georgia's eyes.
I wish I knew this was going on.
I'd step my game up.
Hey, I'm gonna start
picking flowers tonight!
Tonight, I think I'm gonna
make a move on Georgia.
I need to make better progress.
♪ Good vibes all night ♪
Oh, yeah!
Ladies!
My eyes are set on Nathan,
so I gotta show him what he could get.
I am ready to party.
♪ Livin' my best life ♪
♪ Tonight ♪
♪ Toni-i-ight ♪
♪ Toni-i-ight ♪
♪ Toni-i-ight ♪
♪ Toni-i-ight ♪
I'm feeling Truth's vibe right now.
He just looks sexy good.
I'll possibly
rip all his clothes off.
I'm gonna walk Truth's plank tonight.
♪ Good vibes all night ♪
♪ Don't matter who you are
Baby, the superstar ♪
Makeup's on.
Flirt's on. It's game time.
So we're gonna play
X Marks the Spot.
I'm gonna mark Doris and Derek.
My double Ds are my best feature.
So you can lick it.
You can grab the person
and kiss them if you really want.
Yeah, Beaux!
Come and get it!
Pirate Beaux
just sprang her booby trap.
Jeez!
I kissed and motorboated Beaux. You know,
maybe made Georgia feel a little jealous.
Is anyone else totally confused
by the rules of this game?
It's like spin the bottle
without the bottle
and a whole lotta lickin'.
Hey!
All right, Daddy's home.
Oi, oi!
Oh!
I know what I'm doing after this party.
I don't know if I'll be able
to keep my hands off him.
Oh, here we go.
Stevan, Patrick and Harry,
starting positions, please.
The world is my oyster tonight.
I got there first!
I thought, "I'm not sleeping on this."
Oh my God!
This competition's getting mad.
I didn't get in with G first,
but, um, can I get in with her last?
Yeah, I'm pumped
and I'm the bad boy out here.
Three's my lucky number, my bad!
Damn, girl.
Can I borrow that outfit?
I'm definitely most excited
about Stevan's kiss. He's a great kisser.
It's time to party and play a little game,
and I will be doing
a lot of bad things tonight.
Truth be told, I think I could, you know,
end my night with a special someone.
♪ Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh ♪
♪ Shinin' so bright ♪
Go on, then!
My best feature is...
Yeah!
Izzy's bum is nice.
The boy claimed his territory!
Nobody wants to sit and watch the guy
they're interested in kiss someone else.
All right, it's time
to batten down the hatches
and send in Dariany
before this lot go overboard.
- Look at you!
- That's my girl!
What's up, Mamas?
Someone give her the lipstick!
Hello, my beautiful buccaneers.
Are you guys having a good time?
- Yes!
- Damn straight, Mama.
Whoo!
You know what? I think I know
exactly what this party needs.
- Oh my God.
- Come on.
Please say a booty drop.
A booty drop!
- Go on then!
- Booty drop!
Booty drop. Super excited, you know.
This one is very special
and can change everything.
Oh my God!
All right, pause for one second.
Remember last year when Lana,
the most powerful cone
in the history of cones,
appeared out of a bar
like a cheap bottle of wine?
Well, the producers took a long, hard look
at themselves and promised to do better.
Let's see what they came up with.
Do you guys want it?
Yeah!
Give it to us!
Okay, then.
Oh my God!
Oh, producers!
You have outdone yourselves!
What is that?!
- Oh my God!
- What's that?
You know that booty drop has to be
something special, something big.
All right, no one likes a show-off.
Oh my God!
Who's gonna go up there
and bring back that booty?
I am! I'm a pirate!
Let's go, boys!
What do you think
the booty drop's gonna be?
- I have no idea!
- It's massive!
It's gonna be something big.
There might be people in it.
- Boys, is that heavy or...
- Yeah.
- Oh my God.
- Three, two, one, down.
Oh my God.
They can't even carry it.
There's a new person coming. We love that.
Show me the booty!
And that coffin-shaped box
is about to bury their sex lives.
The contents of this box
will truly change this trip
into an experience you won't forget.
I've got fanny flutters.
I hope you guys are ready!
Open it!
Open it!
- No turning back once I open it.
- Open it!
I'm pretty damn excited
for what's happening.
Open it!
- Is there a snake in it or something?
- Open it!
I'm literally shaking right now.
Open it!
Is it a real pirate?!
Open it!
We're so ready!
Open it!
What is in this box?
Are you joking?
Oh my God!
This reveal never gets old.
Wow.
What is that?!
Is that a speaker?
- That's Lana.
- No, that's...
- I know that is Lana.
- That's fucking Lana!
Lana. I wish I didn't know, but I know.
- No!
- Stop!
No! No!
Lana's my worst nightmare.
On this island,
there cannot be pleasure without pain.
This is Too Hot to Handle.
- That means no fun, ever.
- What?
I thought this was Pleasure Island, eh?
I'm not getting no pleasure.
I'm on Too Hot to Handle.
I'm so sorry, you guys!
Dariany, don't leave us like this!
Get back here!
I don't know how I'm going to
make it through these few weeks.
I hope I don't die.
Can I call my mom? I wanna go home.
Spoken like a true bad boy.
You have been specially selected
because you are all
choosing meaningless sex
over genuine relationships.
You're not wrong.
The purpose of this retreat
is to help you gain
deeper emotional connections
in your personal relationships.
I don't want that, babe.
As always,
there are conditions to your stay here.
You must abstain from sexual practices
for the entirety of your stay.
Are you jo...?!
Nah.
I cannot.
- No kissing.
- What?!
Is this a joke? Like, is it? Is it a joke?
No heavy petting.
What?
And no sex of any kind.
No sex?
That is hard.
This also applies
to self-gratification.
This ain't funny. This is cruel.
Wait, wait. Someone elaborate on that.
- No flickin' the bean.
- So I can't...
Nope!
I don't know if I can do this.
You can't even touch yourself.
My own body.
I knew it was bad.
I didn't know it was that bad.
You know, I've had cockblocks before.
I've even had my grandma walk in on me.
This is Lana,
the ultimate cockblock.
However, to aid your development,
I've increased the prize fund
to $200,000.
$200,000?!
- Shit.
- Are you serious?!
200K. I want new shoes!
Holy shit!
$200,000. I might be able
to get him a body!
Each time the rules are broken,
money will be deducted
from the prize fund.
I don't think we'll have any money
to go home to.
$200,000 is life-changing.
This game is so serious now.
Welcome to your long,
hard, sexless summer.
It's not fair.
It's making me more horny than before.
- Yeah.
- I hate her.
Wanna rule break, I'm gonna rule break.
I don't care about the money.
I wanna have fun with all these people.
Now that booty is out of bounds,
Lana's guests can head back to the retreat
to take a long, hard look at themselves.
I can't believe
what we walked into, bro.
Oh, she's out here! You're here
to teach us a lesson, aren't you?
I'm not your biggest fan, sweetheart.
I wanna
kick her off the table now.
I'm pissed off.
I'm, like, upset, you guys.
Please, can we not?
I'm pissed off.
Lana, can I have sex with Izzy tonight?
Please, let it happen.
Trust me,
Alexa might do everything you ask,
but Lana is one bad bitch.
I thought it was gonna be
the best experience ever.
It's the biggest letdown
of the bloody year.
Girl.
Come sit.
- I'm so sad.
- I know.
Tell me your thoughts right now,
'cause I'm fuming.
I think I'm, like, in shock a bit.
I thought I was gonna have so much fun
here and get with, like,
these single, hot guys,
which is all the guys here.
Do you reckon there's anyone in here
that's gonna be
fuming if anyone breaks the rules?
I think so.
I think a few of the guys will be like,
"You know what?
This is so important. Money."
But I don't care really.
Like, I am on like a mission
to make this so hard for everyone.
I love that!
- I'm with you! I'm so with you!
- I don't care. I don't care about it.
Where's this going, girls?
Lana's imposing these rules.
If I wanna kiss someone,
I'm gonna kiss them.
I'm an independent woman.
Should we just do it?
Fuck off! No, should we?
Should we do it?
Oh boy!
I don't care.
Let's do it.
♪ I ain't got no chill ♪
♪ Oh, no ♪
♪ I lose control, yeah ♪
This must be a new record.
It's not even been ten minutes.
♪ I lose control, yeah ♪
Oh, Lana. This is gonna be
the toughest season yet.
♪ Whoo, turn it up! ♪
♪ Oh, oh-oh ♪
♪ Turn it up! ♪
♪ Oh-oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Whoo, turn it up! ♪
♪ Oh, oh-oh ♪
♪ Turn it up! ♪
♪ Oh-oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Don't, don't mess with me ♪
- ♪ Don't, don't, don't mess with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, oh-oh ♪
♪ Don't, don't mess with me ♪
- ♪ Don't, don't, don't mess with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, oh-oh ♪
♪ Don't, don't mess with me ♪
- ♪ Don't, don't, don't mess with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, oh-oh ♪
♪ Don't, don't mess with me ♪
- ♪ Don't, don't, don't mess with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, oh-oh ♪
Remember our season two legends?
That brought a lot of emotions.
I feel like I haven't felt...
As soon as they left the villa,
the very next day,
Lana got straight back to work
with a brand new batch
of horned-up hell-raisers.
Fresh meat, baby!
Who had no idea about season two.
Let the games begin.
Here for what they think is
a wild new dating show.
Welcome to Pleasure Island!
The world is my oyster tonight.
Imagine their disappointment
when the queen of cockblocking...
...reveals herself.
No kissing,
no heavy petting,
and no sex of any kind.
I don't know how I'm gonna make it
through these few weeks.
I hope I don't die.
How will our wildest cast ever...
...react?
Oh my God.
If I wanna rule-break,
I'm gonna rule-break.
♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh-oh ♪
This has cost the group $30,000.
- What?
- Whoa.
$69,000. $60,000.
$57,000. $30,000.
Why did I have that wank?
Oh.
Will our sex-starved singles
form deeper connections?
I feel like I was meant to be here.
I'm gonna go home a different person.
Definitely feelin' this workshop
right now. I feel free.
Cheers to you and I.
I didn't expect to be falling for someone.
Are you like
a one-night stand type of person?
Or are these horndogs just too...
- I'm gonna show you my coochie.
- Whoo!
- ...hot...
- I want one massive orgy.
Watch out, baby!
- ...to...
- Trying to make my balls blue?
- ...handle?
- I'm so horny.
Can I call my mom?
♪ Love makes the world go round ♪
Here we go again
with ten super sexed-up singles
expecting a summer of horny hook-ups.
♪ It ain't about the money, money ♪
And the world's most famous cone,
Lana, is back,
analyzing the world's horniest hotties.
Discreet data collection is essential.
♪ Love makes the world go round ♪
We're in Turks and Caicos again,
but not one of the new kids
has seen a second of season two,
so enticing them in was simple
with the creation of yet another
totally fake, sexy, hot dating show.
Pleasure Island!
I mean, who wouldn't fall for that?
Hosted by none other than Dariany Santana.
And a brand new, no-expense-spared set.
Okay, a couple of branches and a parrot.
So we didn't blow the props budget,
but we sure did blow the babe budget.
Hello, season three!
♪ Here come my girls, now let's roll ♪
♪ We turn it up, yeah, it's time to go ♪
♪ Where the party at?
Gonna bring some soul ♪
♪ Yeah, we hit 'em with the good stuff
The good stuff, oh ♪
- Whoo!
- Hey, babe!
- All right.
- How unreal!
Oh my fucking God!
- Cheers! Don't fall. Cheers.
- Cheers! Oh my God.
- How amazing. Like, how are we here?
- What do you think's gonna happen?
- What, in Pleasure Island?
- Yeah.
I'm guessing a lot of pleasure, hopefully!
- God, you're trouble.
- You know?
You are literally trouble.
Hello!
I went to private school,
and people think I'm gonna be
some up myself girl,
but I probably got with
half of the rugby team.
I've even gone for some cricketers too.
♪ One of the girls ♪
♪ You better watch what you say ♪
I am competitive.
I play hockey in my spare time.
I'm a player on and off the hockey pitch.
♪ D-d-d-dangerous ♪
I normally end things by sending a text.
"I don't think it's going to work out
with us. It's not you. It's me. Kiss."
Send.
♪ One of the girls ♪
I will be the first person to score.
I always am,
and I will be in Pleasure Island.
♪ D-d-d-dangerous ♪
After a few of these, I feel like
some naughty stuff can happen.
I know. I'm just going to apologize
to my parents ahead of time. Sorry!
♪ Sorry, I'm not sorry ♪
I am definitely a black sheep
in my family.
They call me Hurricane Holly
for a reason.
♪ I don't care what the haters say ♪
♪ I'm a star shining every day ♪
This would be good selfie lighting.
I'm quite the heartbreaker.
I love a casual relationship.
And I usually get what I want.
Oh God. So sorry.
Oh, I definitely ooze sexuality
when I talk.
Even the most boring things.
A frying pan. Basil.
Coffee.
So hot. God, I'm blushing.
- Bring out the boys!
- Do you have, like, a type?
Definitely, they've all been
a little bit foreign.
Hopefully we don't fancy the same guy.
We're about to find out.
Oh my God, stop.
What?
Okay, producers,
let's make our first guy something spe...
Holy mother of abs! Yes, please!
♪ I got warrior blood in my veins ♪
Oh my God!
- Hey!
- Hi.
- He's so fit. What's your name?
- How you doing?
Nathan. Lovely to meet you.
- And you. I'm Izzy.
- God, Nathan, you're gorgeous.
- So where are you from?
- So I'm from Cape Town.
- Cape Town? Wow!
- Oh, no way!
So my mom is Zulu.
- So I got the warrior in me.
- Hey!
- Love that!
- I think we're gonna have a blast.
I'm an international playboy. Come on.
♪ Whoo! ♪
I've literally flown
across different countries
on a plane
just to have sex with different girls.
South Africa, England, Germany, America,
Russia, Ukraine, Spanish, Swedish.
Trying to think of the places.
I'm definitely
more of a serial killer dater...
Uh, shall we start that again?
I'm definitely a serial dater.
Pleasure Island sounds like
the Sexy Olympics. I'm here to win gold.
- Welcome to paradise!
- Yeah!
Yeah, you girls look amazing.
You look amazing.
What would you say that your type is?
Big eyes. The eyes
have to speak volumes for me.
Um, great teeth obviously.
Definitely tall.
Cut me out then.
Well, Nathan, you're in luck.
♪ Might spend it on you
Like a millionaire ♪
♪ And if you take my heart from me
I'm not playin' fair ♪
This next girl is tall,
with eyes and teeth.
♪ Oh, oh, oh-oh, oh ♪
I just hope you're a fan of Jaz!
- Hey! Look at you!
- We got a queen!
- Hi!
- Hello!
- How you doing?
- How are you? I'm Jaz.
- Hey, babe.
- Nathan.
Come closer to me, get warm.
- Getting cozy!
- Hitting it off already.
How tall are you?
So I'm 5'9" without heels.
So I know I'm, like, super tall.
- Yeah.
- You're tall.
My name is Jaz. I'm classy and I'm sassy.
♪ Ladies ♪
♪ Tonight we're gonna ♪
♪ Get our sexy on ♪
I have a nice smile. I'm cute.
I have a lot. I have my real hair.
♪ Baby, if you want me ♪
I have a lot of people in my DMs.
It's a little bit of a juggle.
On some days, you see this person,
and then the next person.
I call it when you have
a dick appointment.
♪ Baby, if you want me ♪
I am definitely a sucker for a bad boy.
If I see something I want,
I'm gonna go after it.
May the baddest win.
I mean, I'm the only guy here.
Like, good enough for you three?
Whoa!
- I'm hoping a few more come in.
- I feel like you tick a lot of the boxes.
- You're setting the bar pretty high.
- Guys, come on!
I'm the first guy to walk in.
Give me a couple minutes!
Two minutes?!
This is your two-second warning!
Sound the alarm!
Here comes double trouble!
♪ Oh, child, don't look now ♪
♪ I got a hammer and it's coming down ♪
Hi!
♪ 'Cause I got a hammer
And it's coming down ♪
Hey, boys!
- Welcome!
- Hi!
- How ya doing? Nice to meet ya.
- Hi! Nice to meet you.
Oh my God.
- Are you a model?
- Yes.
- You look like a model.
- You do too.
- What's your typical type of girl?
- I don't have one.
Nothing at all?
- I like 'em all!
- Like, anything?
I get a lot of female attention.
Oh my God.
♪ Let's get it started ♪
Think I look pretty good. You think so?
♪ Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh ♪
Truth will always 99.9% tell the truth,
and that's why I go by that name.
But my real name is...
Robert.
Before I was into girls,
I was into basketball.
I would have a few girls come to
the games. One over there, one over there.
Sometimes I walk past a group of girls
and just do this.
It's no big deal. I could do this all day.
Are you ever told
that you look like a celebrity?
Harry Styles?
Harry Styles, eh?
I can see that, bro!
This can only go in one direction.
Sorry, I just couldn't resist.
♪ Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh ♪
I'm a big fish in a small pond.
Anything happens in my village,
it's major news.
If an old woman fell over,
it'd make the front page of the papers.
♪ Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh ♪
♪ I want ya like that ♪
I'm Harry, and I'm a surgeon.
A tree surgeon. I chop wood for a living.
That's one of my lines,
like, "I'll climb you like a tree."
♪ Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh ♪
I've kissed a lot of frogs to find
a princess. I still haven't found her.
Britney's an ex. Yeah, Cherry's an ex.
Charlotte, Karen.
Kayla?
I've been out with a Kayla.
Not been out with, but slept with.
♪ Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh ♪
I think girls fall for me quite easy.
I promise the house on the hill with
a white picket fence and wedding dress.
How can you settle down
when you've got so many options?
Cringe.
- What would you say your type is?
- Brunette. Nice bum.
Uh, nice smile.
You're basically describing Holly.
If you want Holly, just say that.
Just go over there.
- You could've just said her name.
- I'm trying to play it cool, man.
Sorry, man!
I think
the tree surgeon's got wood.
And now for a Beaux-tiful surprise.
♪ Gotta rock this party
Till we reach the skies ♪
Hello, bunch of fitties!
We're spoilt for choice, bro!
- How are you?
- I'm Beaux.
- What do you do?
- So I'm a legal secretary.
- Sexy secretary, okay!
- I bet you don't wear that to work!
Ah, watch out!
♪ Ain't no party we don't rock ♪
When people look at me,
they automatically think I'm a girly girl,
but secretly I have got
a little bit of a male trait in me.
♪ I don't care
What anybody says about me ♪
Such a classy lady, aren't I?
I mean, I'm not romantic at all.
I'm happy with a date at KFC, to be fair.
♪ Go get it, girlfriend ♪
I change my man
more than I change my knickers.
Am I allowed to say this?
As soon as I see a guy that I fancy,
I give the bloke the sexual eye
and I pounce.
What's your type then?
Straight to the point.
I like a boy with...
Lining up! Line up! Boys, let me see...
Do you want a ladder?
- More of a personality person, obviously.
- I'm back, I'm back!
Oh!
Aloha, hotties.
A Hawaiian hunk is approaching.
But who does he remind me of?
J... J... J... J...
Jason Momoa!
Thanks, boys.
- Hey, I'm Patrick.
- Hello! My name's Beaux.
- He's taller than me!
- Fuck. I'm so small. It's a joke.
He must be Hawaiian.
- Ooh. Spicy!
- Spicy!
- What are you looking for?
- Looks go away with age.
So as long as she's down to earth.
I can share a moment of silence with her
and have a good time.
Uh, roll package?
Sing you a love song!
♪ I'm livin' in Turks and Caicos... ♪
Wait, let me restart.
So you may have seen my face before.
I am on the cover of Mr. Hawaii calendar.
Mr. May is like this.
Mr. July is like this.
♪ Ow! ♪
♪ You make me wanna do bad things ♪
♪ What? ♪
I'm the best tour guide for single women.
You know, I'll take you around.
I can show you the dolphins, the turtles.
A little sex on the beach.
♪ 'Cause you're filthy cute ♪
I know all the plant species in Hawaii.
My favorite flower would be an orchid,
because every flower is unique,
just like every woman.
If you're a bee and you're just right,
you'll get sweet honey, baby.
I always get that sweet honey.
♪ Filthy cute ♪
And what's the flower for?
For yourself or for a woman?
- I guess I'll give it to you.
- Thank you!
I'm a little hot! Thank you.
It's beautiful.
If you put it in your right ear
that means you're taken.
- But if it's in your left...
- I'm single!
♪ I'm unbelievable ♪
Holy smokes. Someone must've
thrown lighter fluid onto the barbie.
Here comes Australia's sexiest export
since ever.
♪ I'm unbelievable, baby, believe it ♪
♪ It's inconceivable
Wait till you see it ♪
♪ I'm unforgettable, you know I mean it ♪
- Oh my God!
- Hey!
- Oh, hey!
- Hello!
- Beaux. Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you!
I'm finished. I'm finished, bro.
- Do you fancy anyone here?
- That's a good question!
Be careful!
Well, yes.
- Oh God!
- Yes!
Oh, I'm excited.
I flirt with anything. And anyone.
I love a little snog.
I love that word.
♪ I don't need an introduction ♪
♪ You already know my name ♪
I am extremely sexual.
Guys like that, and I think that's why
they get super in love with me.
♪ It makes me who I am ♪
♪ I don't take no rejection ♪
I love bad boys.
A narcissist. That is my type.
♪ I do my thing ♪
Australian boys from my area,
they're a bit douchey.
They're jerks.
International guys
just have the spice that I want.
♪ I don't make no exceptions ♪
I'm excited to just
rip anyone's clothes off at this point.
You like a good boy or a bad boy?
Bad, definitely. Definitely bad.
I know. I mean,
I think all us girls go for bad boys.
Speaking of bad boys...
Oh, there's someone coming!
- You are in luck.
- Ooh!
Sleeve tattoos, check.
Just-got-out-of-bed hair, check.
Oh, the leopard shorts! Me!
The last of the horndogs
has just checked in.
♪ Bad, bad man ♪
- Hey.
- What's your name?
- Georgia.
- Stev.
Hi, I'm Beaux.
- Stev. Nice to meet you.
- Hi. Jaz. Nice to meet you.
Everybody here is beautiful so...
Thank you!
- You have a lot of tattoos.
- Not nearly enough, but getting there.
I'm definitely a wild one.
I like to break the rules.
♪ Cause I can't hide ♪
I rip up all my clothes.
I'm essentially homeless-looking.
Homeless chic.
Oh fuck. I sound like a prick.
I'm definitely a bit of a bad boy,
but I've got a sensitive side as well.
If I open that up, it's bees on honey.
I've been told I lead a few on.
I love everybody, that's not my fault.
I am not looking for love.
I'm not here to be a good boy.
People either love me
or they fucking hate me.
So what are you guys
expecting from this island?
Dick.
Oh God!
Oh, Izzy, are you in
for a cone-shaped surprise!
Because in ten hours' time,
dick is about to be
officially off the menu.
- Who are you feeling?
- I'm feeling at least two or three.
- The Australian bird.
- I'm feeling all of 'em!
There are so many
sexy, hot young women at this villa.
Everyone's senses are enlightened.
Everyone's horny.
Ten hotties are all here.
Time to send in Dariany to get them
pumped up for Pleasure Island,
the unimaginably wild
and extremely fake show
they think they're all here for.
What's up, you guys?
- Hello!
- Oh my God!
Welcome to Pleasure Island!
I see why it's called Pleasure Island.
I mean, we have got
a fit little bunch here.
I hope you guys are ready to embark
on a voyage of passion and adventure.
- Definitely.
- I'm ready, I'm ready!
During your stay, there will be
regular deliveries of cargo
that will enhance your experience, so keep
your eyes peeled for some booty drops!
So now we have fake sound effects
to go along with the fake show.
Booty drop.
Whoo!
I'm good at dropping my booty down low,
but I don't know what she's got in store.
And I've already
taken the liberty of planning
your very own swashbuckling pirate party.
Are you ready for a party, bro?
I'm excited for Pleasure Island.
To do whatever, whoever, however.
Talk to you guys later.
"Why go to these lengths?"
I hear you ask.
Well, these soon-to-be sex-starved singles
have no clue that the crafty little cone
is hidden away gathering data
to see how badly behaved they are.
Hey, Lana,
how's your master plan progressing?
Initial data suggests
the Pleasure Island ruse
has been a success.
I will continue to observe and analyze
my guests' behavior.
Tonight, I will introduce myself
and the rules they must adhere to
throughout their stay here.
And where better for Lana to play
Peeping Tom than in our villa of dreams?
It has been given a glow up,
so luckily the sheets have been changed
between seasons.
♪ I need your touch... ♪
- He's at it already!
- They're nice and quiet!
- It's bouncy!
- You both gonna stay there?
Don't get jealous!
Um, nah, I'm gonna give it some time.
Holly has got a bangin', bangin' body.
Um, it's hard not to look at,
so I'm keen to give it a shot with her,
see what she's saying.
Like this?
That was so cute.
Georgia's ass is insane.
I really don't know what else
to say about it. I want to bite it.
Would anyone get with anyone
on the first night?
Or are you all about the vibes?
I'm open to it. It's whatever happens!
I'm definitely on Pleasure Island
for one thing and one thing only.
And we all know what that is.
♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh ♪
- Shower time here, ya know?
- Oh!
A lot of stuff
is gonna be happening in there!
Only if you mean shampooing,
conditioning and exfoliating!
I definitely have my eye on Truth.
Like, he has like the nice smile.
When he started walking down,
my eyes lit up a little bit.
Like, I'm like, "Oh my God!"
"Who is this man?" He looks so cute.
I know who I would like to get with.
I know who I wouldn't.
From first impressions,
Truth is dark, handsome, sexy.
Like, what more could you want?
We just go around, everybody be truthful.
You caught my eye first for sure. So...
I think the same. You're really fit.
We haven't spoken that much. Yeah.
Damn, they're all fine. They are all fine.
Jaz, she has beautiful chocolate skin
I just want a piece of, you know?
And Izzy, she's smokin' hot. Tss!
♪ I'm what you want, baby ♪
♪ So give it up ♪
♪ I won't keep waiting ♪
- Can you believe this place?
- Can't complain at all. It's fuckin' sick.
Nathan's just cute. Like...
- Everybody thinks he's cute.
- He's just... God, he's attractive.
The things I would do to that man. Mm!
Oh, I don't even wanna say that.
But Patrick gave me a flower.
I thought that was really endearing.
I feel like he might have,
like, some deep levels to him.
Oh, bro. I gave the flower
to the wrong girl, man.
I gave it to Holly
and I instantly regretted it
as soon as I saw Georgia walk in.
- Really?
- I was like...
Well, you can't deflower her.
Lana definitely won't allow that.
Georgia is the girl of my dreams.
She is a goddess.
- What do you like most in a girl?
- Physically?
- Yeah.
- I'm an eyes guy.
- Eyes guy?
- I really... There's just something about...
I can't tell you what eye color
one of these girls has.
- Really? I can tell you, bro.
- I've been lookin' at all their asses.
Oh man. Georgia's got those green eyes,
with that little bit of red tint,
some brown in it.
Well, if you're going for Georgia,
all I gotta say is best of luck. So am I.
Yeah, best of luck, bro.
- May the best man win.
- Exactly.
- No hard feelings, bro.
- No, never.
He's got the flower thing.
I think that's just his move. Um...
I don't need a move.
Bad boy vs. flower boy.
Looks like it's game on.
Oh wow.
Wow, this is so pretty.
Turns out me and Patrick
have very similar taste,
but if I want someone, I'mma get 'em.
I'm the king of this motherfucker.
I'm gettin' the girl.
Your nails and the tattoos is so nice.
- You're gonna clean me up?
- Want me to paint them?
I brought some nail polish.
They're chipping.
Anyone else slightly disappointed
with this bad boy chat?
I wanted to talk to you first.
Make sure you knew what was up.
- Do you think he's putting it on her?
- For sure.
He's probably saying,
"You're the most beautiful girl."
- You're definitely the prettiest here.
- That's so nice.
- Not to slam on you, but for sure.
- Thank you.
There seems to be a lot of competition
with Georgia, so...
Oh, let the games begin!
Not everybody has your eyes.
They're not brown or green.
They're a mixture of both
with some orange thrown in.
That's weird. I didn't know that.
I thought they were just brownish.
You don't look in the mirror enough.
Makes sense.
Um, I'm pretty sure
I've heard this somewhere before.
I can't tell you what eye color
one of these girls has.
Georgia's got those green eyes with that
little bit of red tint, some brown in it.
I stole Patrick's move.
All's fair in love and war.
We need to talk more.
You make me feel good about myself.
I'm here to please.
In more ways than one.
Oh my God.
Stevan,
we really, like, get along.
I'm not sure who I want to
hook up with more, like Harry or Stevan.
I think Patrick's pretty cute too.
I don't know.
Definitely gonna have
some hook-ups on Pleasure Island.
I just gotta get Izzy by herself.
Make her focus on me.
Jaz is a beautiful girl,
but Izzy gives me one of those vibes
that I just want a piece of.
You just know, like, okay,
you know she's a freak.
- This is a beautiful place.
- Unreal.
- I'm with a beautiful girl.
- Thank you.
I've had my eyes on you
pretty much the whole time...
- From the start?
- From the start.
I know we haven't got to talk too much...
I was interested to see what you felt,
'cause you hold your cards
quite close to your chest.
So I didn't know what you were thinking.
Yeah. But now I'm thinkin' about you.
Truth is definitely
making some moves.
You can literally feel the sexual tension.
What do you reckon's
gonna happen tonight then?
Who you gonna sleep with?
- If you're asking me, maybe you?
- Hm. I would like that.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
You look a little uncomfortable.
You can just come to this side.
You're gonna have to help me.
Come here. Over here, turn this way.
I don't want you to fall off.
I will as well.
- That's better.
- It's way better. This is amazing.
I love this place.
I don't think I'll leave.
- We're not leaving? No?
- Not if you don't want to.
We can stay here.
You've got sexy lips.
- Do you think?
- Mm-hm.
- Can I see?
- Yeah.
♪ Ooh baby, ooh baby ♪
♪ Tonight is all about you, baby ♪
♪ You, baby ♪
Are you serious?!
They just kissed.
It's so romantic. How could you not?
I can't believe that.
We're gonna one-up it.
We're gonna fix that.
I like a challenge,
so when I saw Truth make his move,
it's time for me to make a bigger move
with Georgia tonight. It's gonna get wild.
- I wasn't expecting that.
- You're a great kisser.
- You're good.
- You're pretty good.
I gotta see more later, we'll see.
- We'll see.
- If you're lucky.
- If I'm lucky.
- Yeah.
This is what Pleasure Island's about.
It was definitely a good snog.
Jaz is a lovely girl,
but I'm better.
Uh-oh!
This has high potential to get awks.
So let me get this straight.
We've got a love triangle
with Jaz, Izzy and Truth.
And a love square with Stevan,
Patrick, Harry and Georgia.
Damn, I guess geometry can be sexy!
- And so can pirate parties.
- Arr, me hearties!
♪ Hit it hard! ♪
But once Lana shows up,
they won't be jolly or roger.
I'm super excited for this pirate party.
I'm expecting maybe a booty drop
from the sky. Maybe a treasure chest.
Whoa, hold on!
Did he just say the B word?
I forgot to press the sound effect.
Rewind!
A booty drop.
This can't be for guys?
My titties are gonna
look unreal in that!
- Watch out, baby!
- ♪ Hit it hard! ♪
That's a look, that.
I've got the best outfit.
I got my guy over here. I call him Skully.
And I'm going for Izzy.
♪ Hit it hard! ♪
Georgia's one of the most beautiful women
I've ever seen in my entire life.
I have to let her know that I do like her.
- Hey.
- Oh, hi!
Since the first moment I saw you,
I thought
you were one of the most beautiful girls
I've ever seen.
Oh really? That's so nice!
There's a lot of competition.
I have to make the move early.
- I picked you this flower.
- Oh, thank you.
You're welcome.
It's amazing. So cute.
I think all the bushes are empty.
There's no flowers left.
Georgia, I think she wants me.
Might be able to
fall in love with this girl.
I would love to just kiss her romantically
on the beach.
Our pirates might be
gagging for booty,
but in two teensy hours,
Lana's no-sex bombshell
is going to more than rock the boat.
What these hunks miss
in historical accuracy,
they make up for in horniness.
The ship has arrived, baby! Whoo!
Ha-ha! Let's get it, boys.
- Grab some drinks, boys.
- Drinks for the boys.
I saw earlier my boy Truth
got some shit poppin' at the hammock!
You kept this quiet!
The hammock was nice.
Are you trying to like move with it,
or just like...
Something's gonna happen tonight.
Something's definitely gonna happen.
Congratulations, playboy!
- First to the hit!
- Here's to the first kiss under the villa!
All right, so while y'all were changing,
Georgia started doing her makeup
in the bedroom.
I walked in, I handed her a flower
and I think Georgia likes me.
Uh?
He's got the flower thing,
but he gave one to Holly.
If you do it twice to different girls
on the same day, it's a little tacky.
That's rich coming from the guy
who stole his line about Georgia's eyes.
I wish I knew this was going on.
I'd step my game up.
Hey, I'm gonna start
picking flowers tonight!
Tonight, I think I'm gonna
make a move on Georgia.
I need to make better progress.
♪ Good vibes all night ♪
Oh, yeah!
Ladies!
My eyes are set on Nathan,
so I gotta show him what he could get.
I am ready to party.
♪ Livin' my best life ♪
♪ Tonight ♪
♪ Toni-i-ight ♪
♪ Toni-i-ight ♪
♪ Toni-i-ight ♪
♪ Toni-i-ight ♪
I'm feeling Truth's vibe right now.
He just looks sexy good.
I'll possibly
rip all his clothes off.
I'm gonna walk Truth's plank tonight.
♪ Good vibes all night ♪
♪ Don't matter who you are
Baby, the superstar ♪
Makeup's on.
Flirt's on. It's game time.
So we're gonna play
X Marks the Spot.
I'm gonna mark Doris and Derek.
My double Ds are my best feature.
So you can lick it.
You can grab the person
and kiss them if you really want.
Yeah, Beaux!
Come and get it!
Pirate Beaux
just sprang her booby trap.
Jeez!
I kissed and motorboated Beaux. You know,
maybe made Georgia feel a little jealous.
Is anyone else totally confused
by the rules of this game?
It's like spin the bottle
without the bottle
and a whole lotta lickin'.
Hey!
All right, Daddy's home.
Oi, oi!
Oh!
I know what I'm doing after this party.
I don't know if I'll be able
to keep my hands off him.
Oh, here we go.
Stevan, Patrick and Harry,
starting positions, please.
The world is my oyster tonight.
I got there first!
I thought, "I'm not sleeping on this."
Oh my God!
This competition's getting mad.
I didn't get in with G first,
but, um, can I get in with her last?
Yeah, I'm pumped
and I'm the bad boy out here.
Three's my lucky number, my bad!
Damn, girl.
Can I borrow that outfit?
I'm definitely most excited
about Stevan's kiss. He's a great kisser.
It's time to party and play a little game,
and I will be doing
a lot of bad things tonight.
Truth be told, I think I could, you know,
end my night with a special someone.
♪ Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh ♪
♪ Shinin' so bright ♪
Go on, then!
My best feature is...
Yeah!
Izzy's bum is nice.
The boy claimed his territory!
Nobody wants to sit and watch the guy
they're interested in kiss someone else.
All right, it's time
to batten down the hatches
and send in Dariany
before this lot go overboard.
- Look at you!
- That's my girl!
What's up, Mamas?
Someone give her the lipstick!
Hello, my beautiful buccaneers.
Are you guys having a good time?
- Yes!
- Damn straight, Mama.
Whoo!
You know what? I think I know
exactly what this party needs.
- Oh my God.
- Come on.
Please say a booty drop.
A booty drop!
- Go on then!
- Booty drop!
Booty drop. Super excited, you know.
This one is very special
and can change everything.
Oh my God!
All right, pause for one second.
Remember last year when Lana,
the most powerful cone
in the history of cones,
appeared out of a bar
like a cheap bottle of wine?
Well, the producers took a long, hard look
at themselves and promised to do better.
Let's see what they came up with.
Do you guys want it?
Yeah!
Give it to us!
Okay, then.
Oh my God!
Oh, producers!
You have outdone yourselves!
What is that?!
- Oh my God!
- What's that?
You know that booty drop has to be
something special, something big.
All right, no one likes a show-off.
Oh my God!
Who's gonna go up there
and bring back that booty?
I am! I'm a pirate!
Let's go, boys!
What do you think
the booty drop's gonna be?
- I have no idea!
- It's massive!
It's gonna be something big.
There might be people in it.
- Boys, is that heavy or...
- Yeah.
- Oh my God.
- Three, two, one, down.
Oh my God.
They can't even carry it.
There's a new person coming. We love that.
Show me the booty!
And that coffin-shaped box
is about to bury their sex lives.
The contents of this box
will truly change this trip
into an experience you won't forget.
I've got fanny flutters.
I hope you guys are ready!
Open it!
Open it!
- No turning back once I open it.
- Open it!
I'm pretty damn excited
for what's happening.
Open it!
- Is there a snake in it or something?
- Open it!
I'm literally shaking right now.
Open it!
Is it a real pirate?!
Open it!
We're so ready!
Open it!
What is in this box?
Are you joking?
Oh my God!
This reveal never gets old.
Wow.
What is that?!
Is that a speaker?
- That's Lana.
- No, that's...
- I know that is Lana.
- That's fucking Lana!
Lana. I wish I didn't know, but I know.
- No!
- Stop!
No! No!
Lana's my worst nightmare.
On this island,
there cannot be pleasure without pain.
This is Too Hot to Handle.
- That means no fun, ever.
- What?
I thought this was Pleasure Island, eh?
I'm not getting no pleasure.
I'm on Too Hot to Handle.
I'm so sorry, you guys!
Dariany, don't leave us like this!
Get back here!
I don't know how I'm going to
make it through these few weeks.
I hope I don't die.
Can I call my mom? I wanna go home.
Spoken like a true bad boy.
You have been specially selected
because you are all
choosing meaningless sex
over genuine relationships.
You're not wrong.
The purpose of this retreat
is to help you gain
deeper emotional connections
in your personal relationships.
I don't want that, babe.
As always,
there are conditions to your stay here.
You must abstain from sexual practices
for the entirety of your stay.
Are you jo...?!
Nah.
I cannot.
- No kissing.
- What?!
Is this a joke? Like, is it? Is it a joke?
No heavy petting.
What?
And no sex of any kind.
No sex?
That is hard.
This also applies
to self-gratification.
This ain't funny. This is cruel.
Wait, wait. Someone elaborate on that.
- No flickin' the bean.
- So I can't...
Nope!
I don't know if I can do this.
You can't even touch yourself.
My own body.
I knew it was bad.
I didn't know it was that bad.
You know, I've had cockblocks before.
I've even had my grandma walk in on me.
This is Lana,
the ultimate cockblock.
However, to aid your development,
I've increased the prize fund
to $200,000.
$200,000?!
- Shit.
- Are you serious?!
200K. I want new shoes!
Holy shit!
$200,000. I might be able
to get him a body!
Each time the rules are broken,
money will be deducted
from the prize fund.
I don't think we'll have any money
to go home to.
$200,000 is life-changing.
This game is so serious now.
Welcome to your long,
hard, sexless summer.
It's not fair.
It's making me more horny than before.
- Yeah.
- I hate her.
Wanna rule break, I'm gonna rule break.
I don't care about the money.
I wanna have fun with all these people.
Now that booty is out of bounds,
Lana's guests can head back to the retreat
to take a long, hard look at themselves.
I can't believe
what we walked into, bro.
Oh, she's out here! You're here
to teach us a lesson, aren't you?
I'm not your biggest fan, sweetheart.
I wanna
kick her off the table now.
I'm pissed off.
I'm, like, upset, you guys.
Please, can we not?
I'm pissed off.
Lana, can I have sex with Izzy tonight?
Please, let it happen.
Trust me,
Alexa might do everything you ask,
but Lana is one bad bitch.
I thought it was gonna be
the best experience ever.
It's the biggest letdown
of the bloody year.
Girl.
Come sit.
- I'm so sad.
- I know.
Tell me your thoughts right now,
'cause I'm fuming.
I think I'm, like, in shock a bit.
I thought I was gonna have so much fun
here and get with, like,
these single, hot guys,
which is all the guys here.
Do you reckon there's anyone in here
that's gonna be
fuming if anyone breaks the rules?
I think so.
I think a few of the guys will be like,
"You know what?
This is so important. Money."
But I don't care really.
Like, I am on like a mission
to make this so hard for everyone.
I love that!
- I'm with you! I'm so with you!
- I don't care. I don't care about it.
Where's this going, girls?
Lana's imposing these rules.
If I wanna kiss someone,
I'm gonna kiss them.
I'm an independent woman.
Should we just do it?
Fuck off! No, should we?
Should we do it?
Oh boy!
I don't care.
Let's do it.
♪ I ain't got no chill ♪
♪ Oh, no ♪
♪ I lose control, yeah ♪
This must be a new record.
It's not even been ten minutes.
♪ I lose control, yeah ♪
Oh, Lana. This is gonna be
the toughest season yet.
♪ Whoo, turn it up! ♪
♪ Oh, oh-oh ♪
♪ Turn it up! ♪
♪ Oh-oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Whoo, turn it up! ♪
♪ Oh, oh-oh ♪
♪ Turn it up! ♪
♪ Oh-oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Don't, don't mess with me ♪
- ♪ Don't, don't, don't mess with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, oh-oh ♪
♪ Don't, don't mess with me ♪
- ♪ Don't, don't, don't mess with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, oh-oh ♪
♪ Don't, don't mess with me ♪
- ♪ Don't, don't, don't mess with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, oh-oh ♪
♪ Don't, don't mess with me ♪
- ♪ Don't, don't, don't mess with me ♪
- ♪ Oh, oh-oh ♪