Timon & Pumbaa (1995–1999): Season 1, Episode 5 - Uganda Be an Elephant/To Kilimanjaro Bird - full transcript
HAKUNA MATATA.
WHAT A WONDERFUL PHRASE.
HAKUNA MATATA!
♪ AIN'T NO PASSIN' CRAZE ♪
♪ IT MEANS NO WORRIES ♪
♪ FOR THE REST
OF YOUR DAYS ♪
♪ IT'S OUR
PROBLEM-FREE ♪
♪ PHILOSOPHY ♪
♪ HAKUNA MATATA ♪
YEAH!
(roaring)
HAKUNA MATATA!
TIMON AND PUMBAA!
HAKUNA MATATA!
♪ IT MEANS NO WORRIES ♪
♪ FOR THE REST
OF YOUR DAYS ♪
♪ IT'S OUR
PROBLEM-FREE ♪
♪ PHILOSOPHY ♪
♪ HAKUNA MATATA ♪
♪ DIG, DIG, DIG A HOLE
RIGHT HERE IN THE GROUND ♪
♪ LOOKING FOR GOLD,
LOOKING FOR GOLD,
LOOKING ALL AROUND ♪
OOH, A THREE-MASTED
TOPSAIL CLIPPER SHIP.
YEAH, I'LL TAKE
ONE OF THOSE.
NO! TWO! TWO THREE-MASTED
TOPSAIL CLIPPER SHIPS.
ONE RED AND ONE BLUE,
ENCRUSTED...
WITH DIAMONDS,
RUBIES AND EMERALDS.
YEAH!
YOU KNOW, PUMBAA...
THE WAY I GOT IT FIGURED,
ONCE YOU STRIKE GOLD,
I'LL BE SET FOR LIFE!
WHY, THIS GOLDMINE IDEA
COULD TURN OUT TO BE
A REAL GOLDMINE.
BUT TIMON...
DIDN'T YOU SAY
WE'D SPLIT
EVERYTHING 50-50?
AND YOUR POINT IS?
WELL, I'M DOING ALL THE WORK
AND YOU'RE JUST LYING AROUND.
NOW THAT DOESN'T
SEEM 50-50 TO ME!
YEAH? THEN WHAT
WOULD SUIT YOU 50-50?
PERHAPS IF I PICKED
UP A SHOVEL AND DID
EXACTLY HALF OF THE DIGGING?
WOULD THAT SEEM
50-50 TO YOU?
UH... YEAH.
THAT WOULD!
WELL, IF THAT'S HOW
YOU WANT IT TO BE, FINE!
THIS, WILL BE THE DIVIDING LINE.
YOU DIG THERE, I'LL DIG HERE!
ANYTHING YOU FIND, YOU KEEP.
ANYTHING I FIND, I KEEP!
FAIR AND SQUARE,
50-50, RIGHT?
-I GUESS.
-GOOD!
GOOD, YOU'LL REMEMBER THAT.
AND WHEN I'M MR. MONEYBAGS,
AND YOU'RE SHIVERING IN THE
COLD, DON'T COME BEGGING ME
FOR A HOT COCOA
WITH LITTLE MARSHMALLOWS
ON THE TOP.
HEY, TIMON, LOOK!
A GOLD NUGGET!
I'M RICH!
BOY! AND IT'S A GREAT
BIG HEAVY ONE, TOO!
SAY, WHAT'D YOU FIND,
TIMON?
HAKUNA MATATA!
A BOTTLE CAP!
GEE, AND IT'S SO
SHINY AND PRETTY
AND SPLENDID
AND ROUND! OH!
TIMON, YOU SURE
ARE LUCKY!
WILL YOU STAY ON YOUR
SIDE OF THE LINE!
WONDERIFIC!
(laughing)
SOON THAT GOLD
WILL BE MINE.
♪ FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD WARTHOG
FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD WARTHOG ♪
♪ FOR HE'S A JOLLY
GOOD WARTHOG ♪
♪ WHICH NOBODY CAN DENY ♪
(all cheering)
Woman:
WHAT A GUY!
Man: ANOTHER ROUND OF
HOT COCOA ON PUMBAA!
(sighing)
HEY, MR. MONEYBAGS,
WHY THE LONG SNOUT?
YOU MUST BE WORTH
YOUR WEIGHT IN GOLD.
CHEER UP!
I KNOW.
IT'S JUST, I...
I REALLY MISS TIMON.
OH!
WHAT'S A TIMON?
HE'S A MEERKAT.
HE'S MY BESTEST
BEST FRIEND,
AND HE'S STANDING
RIGHT OUTSIDE!
LOOK AT HIM ALL SMUG
AND WARM!
EXPECTS ME TO COME
BEGGING FOR A CRUMMY
CUP OF COCOA
WITH THE LITTLE,
LITTLE MARSHMALLOWS
ON THE TOP.
I WON'T! I GOT MY PRIDE!
I'D RATHER FREEZE!
(sneezes)
SOME BESTEST
BEST FRIEND HE IS.
Man:
WORSTEST WORST FRIEND
IS MORE LIKE IT!
WHO ARE YOU?
EXALTATION!
YOU'VE NEVER HEARD
OF CUSCO QUINT?
THE FASTER, STRONGEST,
SMARTEST,
PROSPECT OF SOUTH
OF THE BEAUFORT SEA.
SHOULD I HAVE?
I, CUSCO, SAW WHAT
HAPPENED BETWEEN
YOU AND THE HOG.
CUSCO HATES TO TELL YOU
THIS BUT YOU'VE BEEN SNOWED!
HALF OF THAT PIG'S GOLD
IS RIGHTFULLY YOURS.
YEAH! I WAS THE ONE
WHO TOLD HIM WHERE TO
DIG IN THE FIRST PLACE!
GLORIFICATION!
YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?
THAT MEANS ALL OF THAT
GOLD IS RIGHTFULLY YOURS!
IN FACT, CUSCO SUGGESTS YOU
MARCH RIGHT IN THERE
AND STEAL THAT HOG'S GOLD.
ARE YOU SUGGESTING THAT
I STEAL THAT HOG'S GOLD?
TOTALLY!
BUT, HE'S MY BESTEST
BEST FRIEND.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT.
I, CUSCO QUINT, WILL HELP YOU.
THERE'S NOTHING CUSCO HATES
MORE THAN SEEING A HELPLESS
LITTLE DWEEB LIKE YOU
GET TAKEN FOR A CHUM.
HEY, OF COURSE I MEANT
TO SAY NICE GUY LIKE YOU.
NOW HERE'S WHAT I WANT
YOU TO DO.
(whispering)
Man on PA:
LADIES, GENTLEMEN AND
MR. MONEYBAGS WARTHOG,
THE YUKON DANCE HALL
IS PROUD TO PRESENT...
(mispronounces)
TIMON...
UH... TIMON!
-TIMON?
-THANK YOU, THANK YOU,
MADAMES AND MESSIEURS!
(speaks foreign language)
TONIGHT, YOU'RE IN
FOR A REAL TREAT.
THE ONE AND ONLY, ME!
YOU WILL BE THRILLED,
AMAZED, DAZZLED
AND RAZZLED!
STOOPIFIED, AWESTRUCK
AND TITILLATED,
DELIGHTED!
ELECTRIFIED, AH!
THAT'S MY BUDDY
UP THERE!
YOU MUST BE PROUD.
TO ENSURE THAT YOU DON'T
MESSY EVEN THE TEENSIEST,
TINIEST,
SMALLEST LITTLE MORSEL
OF ENTERTAINMENT, WE ASK,
THAT YOU KEEP YOUR
STINKING EYES ON THE STAGE!
THANK YOU, THANK YOU,
THANK YOU. I'M SPENT.
AND IF YOU'RE DRIVING TONIGHT,
DON'T FORGET YOUR CAR! BYE!
BRAVO, BRAVO!
YAY! TIMON!
(exclaiming excitedly)
THAT'S A SHOW!
CUSCO WAS SPOTTED!
WE'LL HAVE TO SPLIT UP.
TAKE THIS. WE'LL MEET LATER.
WEAR A RED CARNATION, KNOCK
THREE TIMES AND RECITE
-BIPPITY-BOPPITY-BOO.
GOT IT?
-GOT IT.
HEY, WAIT!
WHERE DO WE MEET?
UH, PUMBAA...
THAT WAS A BEAUTIFUL
SONG, TIMON!
SHORT, SWEET, FILLED
WITH COMPASSION AND...
WHAT'S IN THE BAG?
NOTHING! I DIDN'T
STEAL YOUR GOLD! IF THAT'S
WHAT YOU'RE THINKING!
TIMON, WHY WOULD
I THINK THAT?
I KNOW YOU'RE
MY BESTEST BEST FRIEND
IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD.
AND YOU'D NEVER...
SHUT UP!
(sobbing)
BUT I DID, PUMBAA!
I DID STEAL YOUR GOLD!
I WAS BLINDED
BY JEALOUSLY
AND I WANTED TO BE
MR. MONEYBAGS WITH THE HOT
COCOAS AND LITTLE MARSHMALLOWS.
TAKE IT, PLEASE!
TAKE EVERY CENT!
YOU FOUND IT, IT'S YOURS!
AH! CAN YOU EVER
FORGIVE ME?
TIMON, THERE'S
NOTHING IN HERE!
WHAT? WHY THAT LOW-DOWN
NO-GOOD CUSCO QUINT!
-CUSCO WHO?
-CUSCO QUINT!
(unintelligible)
NO! A PROSPECTOR!
HE TRICKED ME!
-CONED YOU?
-FOOLED ME!
LED YOU FOR A SAP.
EXACTLY!
MADE YOU LOOK LIKE
A COMPLETE BUFFOON!
ALL RIGHT, LET'S NOT GET
BOGGED DOWN ON THIS POINT,
PUMBAA.
THE IMPORTANT THING IS...
THAT WE GET YOU
YOUR GOLD BACK.
YOU MEAN, OUR GOLD?
"WEAR A RED CARNATION!"
(laughs) THE OLD
SWITCH-A-ROO GETS
'EM EVERY TIME.
CUSCO, MY BOY, YOU ARE
DUPLICITY PERSONIFIED!
THERE! DUPLICITY PERSONIFIED
AT 12 O'CLOCK!
GO, PUMBAA! GO!
SEE PUMBAA GO!
QUICKNESS, MY DOG!
EXPEDIENCY!
HOLD ON TIGHT, TIMON!
WE'RE GOING TO DO IT!
NO, PUMBAA, WE CAN'T!
WE CAN!
UH-OH!
PUMBAA!
Pumbaa: MAYBE WE CAN'T.
I THINK WE LOST THEM.
PUMBAA, I THINK WE
LOST THEM.
ABSURDAMUNDO!
CUSCO ISN'T LOST!
BUT YOU SOON WILL BE.
(laughs) LOST AT SEA! OUCH!
WAIT! WE'RE MOVING!
YES, IT'S A VERY
EMOTIONAL TIME
FOR ALL OF US.
NO, I MEAN WE'RE
MOVING MOVING.
CUSCO SAYS, SO LONG SUCKERS!
DON'T FEEL TOO BAD!
(laughing)
IT'S ALL MY FAULT, PUMBAA.
ME AND MY BIG FAT GREEDY HEAD!
I NEVER EXPECTED TO BE
SENT ADRIFT ON A VAST
SHEET OF COLD WHITE STUFF.
WHO WOULD EXPECT THAT?
NOT MANY I SUPPOSE.
MAYBE A COUPLE...
BUT NOT MANY,
BUT I DIGRESS.
OH, TIMON!
I... I KNOW A RUSTED OLD
CARIBOU COLA BOTTLE CAP
ISN'T MUCH, PUMBAA, BUT...
IT'S ALL I HAVE.
TAKE IT!
PLEASE!
-IT'S YOURS!
-YOU REALLY GOT
A HEART OF GOLD!
COME HERE,
YOU KNUCKLEHEAD MEERKAT.
OH, PUMBAA, DON'T
EVER NEVER EVER LET
THE LURE OF MATERIAL WEALTH
COME BETWEEN US!
NEVER EVER EVER AGAIN.
PARDON ME,
BUT DID YOU SAY THAT'S
A CARIBOU COLA BOTTLE CAP?
-UH, YEAH.
-SURE IS.
HOORAH! HOORAH!
17 YEARS, I'VE BEEN
SEARCHING FOR A CARIBOU
COLA BOTTLE CAP.
I ABSOLUTELY MUST HAVE
IT FOR MY COLLECTION!
AND MONEY IS NO OBJECT!
NOW, WHO DO I MAKE
THE CHECK OUT TO?
-ME! ME! NO!
-ME! NO, ME!
-(arguing)
-IT'S MINE!
I FOUND THE BOTTLE CAP.
(indistinct)
-TIMON, WHAT A GREAT GUY.
-I'M SUCH A GREAT GUY.
SUCH A GREAT GUY.
(snoring)
-TIMON, WHAT A GREAT GUY.
WHAT A GREAT GUY.
-I'M SUCH A GREAT GUY.
-OH, WHAT A GREAT GUY.
-I'M SUCH A GREAT GUY.
TIMON, WHAT A GREAT GUY.
WHAT A GREAT GUY.
-I'M SUCH A GREAT GUY.
SUCH A GREAT GUY.
-OH, WHAT A GREAT GUY.
(snarling)
(sneezes)
-GESUNDHEIT.
-THANK YOU.
TIGER!
(sneezes)
FAST! MAKE WITH
THE SPEEDINESS.
UH, TIMON, WE'RE RUNNING
AWAY, BUT WE'RE NOT BEING
CHASED.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?
MAKES IT MUCH LESS LIKELY
WE'LL BE CAUGHT.
UH, MAYBE WE SHOULD STOP.
STOPPING IS THE LAST
THING WE SHOULD DO!
GOING IS A MUCH BETTER
FORM OF RUNNING AWAY
THAN STOPPING.
PUMBAA, WHATEVER YOU DO,
DON'T STOP!
(mumbles)
(sneezes)
MY GOODNESS!
THAT'S QUITE A COLD
YOU'VE GOT THERE.
HERE, HAVE A TISSUE.
TISSUE? I DON'T
EVEN KNOW YOU!
(laughs)
GET IT?
(laughing)
I GET IT.
I GET IT.
PUMBAA, PRECISELY
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU
ARE DOING EXACTLY?
ADMINISTERING MEDICAL AID.
IT'S IMPORTANT TO HELP OTHERS
WHO ARE IN NEED.
(mimics buzzer) WRONG!
PUMBAA, SHE'S A TIGRESS!
A GIRL TIGER,
i.e., A PREDATOR.
SAY IT WITH ME,
PRE-DA-TOR.
-SO?
-LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT A LITTLE
THING WE CALL THE FOOD CHAIN.
SEE, IN THE NATURAL WORLD,
THERE IS A RELATIONSHIP
BETWEEN ANIMALS
WHEREBY THE BIGGER ONES
EAT THE SMALLER ONES.
EXHIBIT A, A FISH, SEEMINGLY
HAPPY AS IT SWIMS ABOUT
ON ITS DAILY ROUTINE.
UNTIL PRESTO,
A BIGGER FISH COMES
ALONG AND EATS IT!
THIS FISH IN TURN,
IS THEN EATEN BY AN
EVEN BIGGER FISH!
AM I MAKING MYSELF
CLEAR HERE?
PSST, TIMON,
SHE'S NOT A FISH.
WHY? LOOK, SHE IS
A CARNIVORE, A PREDATOR.
HELPING HER IS
COUNTER REPRODUCTIVE.
SHE HUNTS AND CATCHES
GUYS LIKE US!
ACTUALLY, THE ONLY
THING I'VE EVER
CAUGHT IS THIS COLD. (laughs)
YOU MEAN YOU'VE NEVER EVER
CAUGHT ANYTHING EVER,
IN YOUR WHOLE LIFE?
NEVER? NOT EVEN ONCE?
DEAR RALPH, MY HUSBAND,
WAS THE HUNTER.
HE WAS THE ONE WHO USED
TO BRING HOME THE BACON!
(laughing)
BUT NOW WITH HIM GONE,
IT'S UP TO ME TO FEED
THE FAMILY.
WOW!
YOU'VE BEEN BUSY!
I SUPPOSE I AM GOOD
AT ONE THING.
BUT WHEN IT COMES
TO HUNTING,
STALKING AND POUNCING,
I'M A THREE-PEATING
TRIPLE CROWN WASHOUT.
OH TIMON, WE CAN'T
LET THE LITTLE TIGERS
GO HUNGRY.
WE JUST GOT TO HELP HER!
WE JUST GOTTA!
WE GOTTA!
WE GOTTA! WE GOTTA!
WE GOTTA! WE GOTTA!
WE? OH, NO, NO,
NO, NO, NO.
NOT "WE", PUMBAA.
I'M NOT HELPING ANYBODY,
ANYWAY, ANYHOW.
NO, THANK YOU,
CHECK PLEASE,
I'M OUTTA HERE!
JUST TO SATISFY
MY CURIOSITY,
WHY DID YOU THINK
I WOULD TEACH THIS
TIGRESS HOW TO HUNT?
BECAUSE YOU OWE ME ONE!
I OWE YOU ONE?
-SINCE WHEN?
-SINCE YESTERDAY!
(laughing)
PUMBAA, YOU JUST
SAVED MY LIFE!
THANK YOU,
I OWE YOU ONE!
AW, SHUCKS, TIMON.
IT WAS NOTHING.
OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!
I OWE YOU ONE, PAL.
AND THAT'S ALL THERE IS
TO IT! NO ARGUMENTS!
OKAY, IF YOU INSIST.
YOU OWE ME ONE.
OKAY, I'LL HELP.
(grunting)
FIRST RULE OF HUNTING
IS YOU'VE GOT TO FIND
WHERE YOU CAN EAT
THE FOOD, AND THIS IS
WHERE YOU FIND THE FOOD.
I'M GOING TO
HELP YOU NOW.
SEE ANYTHING?
YEAH, THE UNDERSIDE
OF A TWO TON BOULDER!
(laughs)
YOU'RE WASTING YOUR
TIME! SHE'S A TIGER!
SHE DOESN'T EAT
UNDER THE ROCK
BUGS LIKE WE DO,
SHE EATS THOSE BIG,
MEATY, NON-MEERKAT TYPE
THINGS
WHICH FROLIC ACROSS
THE GRASSLANDS.
-YOU DO?
-WELL, YEAH.
IT'S A TIGER THANG!
(laughs)
THEN WHY ARE WE LOOKING
UNDER THIS BIG ROCK?
THANKS, TIMON!
GLAD I COULD HELP.
ONCE YOU'VE LOCATED
YOUR PREY,
OR FOOD AS WE CALL IT,
YOU'VE GOT TO SNEAK UP
ON HIM! WATCH ME!
(burping)
I HEAR SOMEONE
SNEAKING!
I HATE THAT!
GO AWAY!
GO AWAY!
GO AWAY!
(groaning)
TO AVOID ANY MORE
UNPLEASANT ENCOUNTERS,
WHEREIN SOLID OBJECTS IMPACT
WITH MY SKULL, I HAVE
DECIDED TO TAKE OVER
THE LESSONS!
SORRY, TIMON.
NOW, LISTEN TO ME.
ALL YOU REALLY NEED
FOR HUNTING
IS A GOOD POUNCE.
AND FOR A GOOD POUNCE,
YOU NEED ALTITUDE,
WHICH IS WHY I'VE PUT
TOGETHER THIS!
I CALL IT,
TIMON THE HANDSOME
AND SMART MEERKAT'S
INCREDIBLY INGENIOUS
PULTZY THING.
Both: LOOKS LIKE A SEE-SAW.
NEW RULE,
FOR THE REMAINDER
OF THIS LESSON,
I AM THE ONLY ONE
ALLOWED TO SPEAK.
FIRST PUMBAA,
YOU'LL BE IN THE IGNITION
POSITION HERE.
THEN WE PUT THE LAUNCHEE
ONTO THE PRE-POUNCE LOCATION
HERE.
AND LAST, WE PLACE
THE DESIRED
MEATY THING HERE.
WHEN THAT LANDS THERE,
YOU WILL POUNCE. HEY!
OKAY PUMBAA, BLAST OFF!
CAREFUL!
GET READY, GET READY!
POUNCE!
(gasps)
THAT'S IT!
THAT DOES IT,
I QUIT!
KAPUT! FINIT . NO MORE
HELPING FROM ME.
LET ME EXPLAIN SOMETHING
TO YOU, PUMBAA.
YOU ONLY HELP
SOMEONE IF YOU GET
SOMETHING IN RETURN.
IDEALLY, WHAT YOU GET IN RETURN
SHOULD BE WORTH MORE THAN
THE EFFORT YOU EXPENDED
IN HELPING!
BUT THERE IS NO
BETTER THING TO BE GOTTEN
FROM HELPING THIS...
THIS... THIS...
THREE-PEATING,
TRIPLE CROWN
WASHOUT.
THREE-PEATING,
TRIPLE CROWN
WASHOUT. EXACTLY!
I MEAN, WHY DON'T WE
FIND A LION CUB WE CAN
RAISE?
NOW THAT'S AN IDEA!
HE COULD BE ON OUR SIDE.
BUT WHO WANTS HER
ON OUR SIDE?
-SHE'S USELESS!
-I KNOW WHEN
I'M NOT WANTED.
GUESS I WON'T BE MAKING
HIS CHRISTMAS CARD LIST!
(laughs)
SORRY WE COULDN'T
BE MUCH HELP.
OH, YOU HELPED LOTS,
KIDDO. DON'T FRET.
I'LL FIGURE SOMETHING OUT.
-GOODBYE!
-BYE!
GOOD RIDDANCE.
COME ON, PUMBAA.
LET'S AMSCRAY.
(screaming)
SAY PUMBAA, WHY DON'T WE
GO BACK AND TEACH THIS GUY
HOW TO HUNT?
(laughs)
TIMON, HELP!
I'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING!
I NEED HELP! I NEED...
HOW IRONIC.
-WHAT DO YOU WANT?
-NOTHING...
HELP!
-NOTHING?
-WELL, THAT'S NOTHING.
I MEAN, IT'S A JACKAL
AND IT'S GOING TO EAT
MY BESTEST BEST FRIEND, BUT...
ARE YOU ASKING ME
FOR HELP?
YES! YES! YES! YES!
NO! WELL, MAYBE I AM.
SORT OF.
YOU ONLY HELP SOMEONE
IF YOU GET SOMETHING
IN RETURN.
IDEALLY WHAT YOU GET
IN RETURN SHOULD BE
WORTH MORE THAN
THE EFFORT YOU EXPENDED
IN HELPING.
BESIDES, I'M USELESS,
REMEMBER?
WELL, THAT'S JUST
FINE, I MEAN...
WHAT IF EVERYBODY
HAD YOUR ATTITUDE, HM?
THEN THE WHOLE WORLD
WOULD BE FILLED WITH
NOTHING BUT A BUNCH OF
NON-HELPING
HELPLESS UNHELPERS.
TIMON!
I'M SORRY! BELIEVE ME
IF I HAD ANY IDEA I'D HAVE
TO EAT MY OWN WORDS,
I NEVER WOULD
HAVE SAID SO MANY.
HONEST.
IF YOU'RE ASKING ME
FOR HELP,
ALL YOU GOTTA DO
IS ASK.
(exclaiming)
-HELP.
-THERE, NOW THAT WASN'T
SO BAD, WAS IT?
LET ME SEE
WHAT I CAN DO.
(sneezes)
(screeching)
(sneezes)
(sneezes)
KEEP AWAY! KEEP AWAY!
(yelping)
LOOKS LIKE MY BAD COLD
GOT ME A HOT MEAL!
(laughs)
YOU SEE, TIMON,
WE DID GET SOMETHING
IN RETURN FOR HELPING HER.
MORE THAN YOU KNOW, PUMBAA.
MORE THAN YOU KNOW.
-WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
-I GOT HER COLD!
(sneezes)
WHAT A WONDERFUL PHRASE.
HAKUNA MATATA!
♪ AIN'T NO PASSIN' CRAZE ♪
♪ IT MEANS NO WORRIES ♪
♪ FOR THE REST
OF YOUR DAYS ♪
♪ IT'S OUR
PROBLEM-FREE ♪
♪ PHILOSOPHY ♪
♪ HAKUNA MATATA ♪
YEAH!
(roaring)
HAKUNA MATATA!
TIMON AND PUMBAA!
HAKUNA MATATA!
♪ IT MEANS NO WORRIES ♪
♪ FOR THE REST
OF YOUR DAYS ♪
♪ IT'S OUR
PROBLEM-FREE ♪
♪ PHILOSOPHY ♪
♪ HAKUNA MATATA ♪
♪ DIG, DIG, DIG A HOLE
RIGHT HERE IN THE GROUND ♪
♪ LOOKING FOR GOLD,
LOOKING FOR GOLD,
LOOKING ALL AROUND ♪
OOH, A THREE-MASTED
TOPSAIL CLIPPER SHIP.
YEAH, I'LL TAKE
ONE OF THOSE.
NO! TWO! TWO THREE-MASTED
TOPSAIL CLIPPER SHIPS.
ONE RED AND ONE BLUE,
ENCRUSTED...
WITH DIAMONDS,
RUBIES AND EMERALDS.
YEAH!
YOU KNOW, PUMBAA...
THE WAY I GOT IT FIGURED,
ONCE YOU STRIKE GOLD,
I'LL BE SET FOR LIFE!
WHY, THIS GOLDMINE IDEA
COULD TURN OUT TO BE
A REAL GOLDMINE.
BUT TIMON...
DIDN'T YOU SAY
WE'D SPLIT
EVERYTHING 50-50?
AND YOUR POINT IS?
WELL, I'M DOING ALL THE WORK
AND YOU'RE JUST LYING AROUND.
NOW THAT DOESN'T
SEEM 50-50 TO ME!
YEAH? THEN WHAT
WOULD SUIT YOU 50-50?
PERHAPS IF I PICKED
UP A SHOVEL AND DID
EXACTLY HALF OF THE DIGGING?
WOULD THAT SEEM
50-50 TO YOU?
UH... YEAH.
THAT WOULD!
WELL, IF THAT'S HOW
YOU WANT IT TO BE, FINE!
THIS, WILL BE THE DIVIDING LINE.
YOU DIG THERE, I'LL DIG HERE!
ANYTHING YOU FIND, YOU KEEP.
ANYTHING I FIND, I KEEP!
FAIR AND SQUARE,
50-50, RIGHT?
-I GUESS.
-GOOD!
GOOD, YOU'LL REMEMBER THAT.
AND WHEN I'M MR. MONEYBAGS,
AND YOU'RE SHIVERING IN THE
COLD, DON'T COME BEGGING ME
FOR A HOT COCOA
WITH LITTLE MARSHMALLOWS
ON THE TOP.
HEY, TIMON, LOOK!
A GOLD NUGGET!
I'M RICH!
BOY! AND IT'S A GREAT
BIG HEAVY ONE, TOO!
SAY, WHAT'D YOU FIND,
TIMON?
HAKUNA MATATA!
A BOTTLE CAP!
GEE, AND IT'S SO
SHINY AND PRETTY
AND SPLENDID
AND ROUND! OH!
TIMON, YOU SURE
ARE LUCKY!
WILL YOU STAY ON YOUR
SIDE OF THE LINE!
WONDERIFIC!
(laughing)
SOON THAT GOLD
WILL BE MINE.
♪ FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD WARTHOG
FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD WARTHOG ♪
♪ FOR HE'S A JOLLY
GOOD WARTHOG ♪
♪ WHICH NOBODY CAN DENY ♪
(all cheering)
Woman:
WHAT A GUY!
Man: ANOTHER ROUND OF
HOT COCOA ON PUMBAA!
(sighing)
HEY, MR. MONEYBAGS,
WHY THE LONG SNOUT?
YOU MUST BE WORTH
YOUR WEIGHT IN GOLD.
CHEER UP!
I KNOW.
IT'S JUST, I...
I REALLY MISS TIMON.
OH!
WHAT'S A TIMON?
HE'S A MEERKAT.
HE'S MY BESTEST
BEST FRIEND,
AND HE'S STANDING
RIGHT OUTSIDE!
LOOK AT HIM ALL SMUG
AND WARM!
EXPECTS ME TO COME
BEGGING FOR A CRUMMY
CUP OF COCOA
WITH THE LITTLE,
LITTLE MARSHMALLOWS
ON THE TOP.
I WON'T! I GOT MY PRIDE!
I'D RATHER FREEZE!
(sneezes)
SOME BESTEST
BEST FRIEND HE IS.
Man:
WORSTEST WORST FRIEND
IS MORE LIKE IT!
WHO ARE YOU?
EXALTATION!
YOU'VE NEVER HEARD
OF CUSCO QUINT?
THE FASTER, STRONGEST,
SMARTEST,
PROSPECT OF SOUTH
OF THE BEAUFORT SEA.
SHOULD I HAVE?
I, CUSCO, SAW WHAT
HAPPENED BETWEEN
YOU AND THE HOG.
CUSCO HATES TO TELL YOU
THIS BUT YOU'VE BEEN SNOWED!
HALF OF THAT PIG'S GOLD
IS RIGHTFULLY YOURS.
YEAH! I WAS THE ONE
WHO TOLD HIM WHERE TO
DIG IN THE FIRST PLACE!
GLORIFICATION!
YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?
THAT MEANS ALL OF THAT
GOLD IS RIGHTFULLY YOURS!
IN FACT, CUSCO SUGGESTS YOU
MARCH RIGHT IN THERE
AND STEAL THAT HOG'S GOLD.
ARE YOU SUGGESTING THAT
I STEAL THAT HOG'S GOLD?
TOTALLY!
BUT, HE'S MY BESTEST
BEST FRIEND.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT.
I, CUSCO QUINT, WILL HELP YOU.
THERE'S NOTHING CUSCO HATES
MORE THAN SEEING A HELPLESS
LITTLE DWEEB LIKE YOU
GET TAKEN FOR A CHUM.
HEY, OF COURSE I MEANT
TO SAY NICE GUY LIKE YOU.
NOW HERE'S WHAT I WANT
YOU TO DO.
(whispering)
Man on PA:
LADIES, GENTLEMEN AND
MR. MONEYBAGS WARTHOG,
THE YUKON DANCE HALL
IS PROUD TO PRESENT...
(mispronounces)
TIMON...
UH... TIMON!
-TIMON?
-THANK YOU, THANK YOU,
MADAMES AND MESSIEURS!
(speaks foreign language)
TONIGHT, YOU'RE IN
FOR A REAL TREAT.
THE ONE AND ONLY, ME!
YOU WILL BE THRILLED,
AMAZED, DAZZLED
AND RAZZLED!
STOOPIFIED, AWESTRUCK
AND TITILLATED,
DELIGHTED!
ELECTRIFIED, AH!
THAT'S MY BUDDY
UP THERE!
YOU MUST BE PROUD.
TO ENSURE THAT YOU DON'T
MESSY EVEN THE TEENSIEST,
TINIEST,
SMALLEST LITTLE MORSEL
OF ENTERTAINMENT, WE ASK,
THAT YOU KEEP YOUR
STINKING EYES ON THE STAGE!
THANK YOU, THANK YOU,
THANK YOU. I'M SPENT.
AND IF YOU'RE DRIVING TONIGHT,
DON'T FORGET YOUR CAR! BYE!
BRAVO, BRAVO!
YAY! TIMON!
(exclaiming excitedly)
THAT'S A SHOW!
CUSCO WAS SPOTTED!
WE'LL HAVE TO SPLIT UP.
TAKE THIS. WE'LL MEET LATER.
WEAR A RED CARNATION, KNOCK
THREE TIMES AND RECITE
-BIPPITY-BOPPITY-BOO.
GOT IT?
-GOT IT.
HEY, WAIT!
WHERE DO WE MEET?
UH, PUMBAA...
THAT WAS A BEAUTIFUL
SONG, TIMON!
SHORT, SWEET, FILLED
WITH COMPASSION AND...
WHAT'S IN THE BAG?
NOTHING! I DIDN'T
STEAL YOUR GOLD! IF THAT'S
WHAT YOU'RE THINKING!
TIMON, WHY WOULD
I THINK THAT?
I KNOW YOU'RE
MY BESTEST BEST FRIEND
IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD.
AND YOU'D NEVER...
SHUT UP!
(sobbing)
BUT I DID, PUMBAA!
I DID STEAL YOUR GOLD!
I WAS BLINDED
BY JEALOUSLY
AND I WANTED TO BE
MR. MONEYBAGS WITH THE HOT
COCOAS AND LITTLE MARSHMALLOWS.
TAKE IT, PLEASE!
TAKE EVERY CENT!
YOU FOUND IT, IT'S YOURS!
AH! CAN YOU EVER
FORGIVE ME?
TIMON, THERE'S
NOTHING IN HERE!
WHAT? WHY THAT LOW-DOWN
NO-GOOD CUSCO QUINT!
-CUSCO WHO?
-CUSCO QUINT!
(unintelligible)
NO! A PROSPECTOR!
HE TRICKED ME!
-CONED YOU?
-FOOLED ME!
LED YOU FOR A SAP.
EXACTLY!
MADE YOU LOOK LIKE
A COMPLETE BUFFOON!
ALL RIGHT, LET'S NOT GET
BOGGED DOWN ON THIS POINT,
PUMBAA.
THE IMPORTANT THING IS...
THAT WE GET YOU
YOUR GOLD BACK.
YOU MEAN, OUR GOLD?
"WEAR A RED CARNATION!"
(laughs) THE OLD
SWITCH-A-ROO GETS
'EM EVERY TIME.
CUSCO, MY BOY, YOU ARE
DUPLICITY PERSONIFIED!
THERE! DUPLICITY PERSONIFIED
AT 12 O'CLOCK!
GO, PUMBAA! GO!
SEE PUMBAA GO!
QUICKNESS, MY DOG!
EXPEDIENCY!
HOLD ON TIGHT, TIMON!
WE'RE GOING TO DO IT!
NO, PUMBAA, WE CAN'T!
WE CAN!
UH-OH!
PUMBAA!
Pumbaa: MAYBE WE CAN'T.
I THINK WE LOST THEM.
PUMBAA, I THINK WE
LOST THEM.
ABSURDAMUNDO!
CUSCO ISN'T LOST!
BUT YOU SOON WILL BE.
(laughs) LOST AT SEA! OUCH!
WAIT! WE'RE MOVING!
YES, IT'S A VERY
EMOTIONAL TIME
FOR ALL OF US.
NO, I MEAN WE'RE
MOVING MOVING.
CUSCO SAYS, SO LONG SUCKERS!
DON'T FEEL TOO BAD!
(laughing)
IT'S ALL MY FAULT, PUMBAA.
ME AND MY BIG FAT GREEDY HEAD!
I NEVER EXPECTED TO BE
SENT ADRIFT ON A VAST
SHEET OF COLD WHITE STUFF.
WHO WOULD EXPECT THAT?
NOT MANY I SUPPOSE.
MAYBE A COUPLE...
BUT NOT MANY,
BUT I DIGRESS.
OH, TIMON!
I... I KNOW A RUSTED OLD
CARIBOU COLA BOTTLE CAP
ISN'T MUCH, PUMBAA, BUT...
IT'S ALL I HAVE.
TAKE IT!
PLEASE!
-IT'S YOURS!
-YOU REALLY GOT
A HEART OF GOLD!
COME HERE,
YOU KNUCKLEHEAD MEERKAT.
OH, PUMBAA, DON'T
EVER NEVER EVER LET
THE LURE OF MATERIAL WEALTH
COME BETWEEN US!
NEVER EVER EVER AGAIN.
PARDON ME,
BUT DID YOU SAY THAT'S
A CARIBOU COLA BOTTLE CAP?
-UH, YEAH.
-SURE IS.
HOORAH! HOORAH!
17 YEARS, I'VE BEEN
SEARCHING FOR A CARIBOU
COLA BOTTLE CAP.
I ABSOLUTELY MUST HAVE
IT FOR MY COLLECTION!
AND MONEY IS NO OBJECT!
NOW, WHO DO I MAKE
THE CHECK OUT TO?
-ME! ME! NO!
-ME! NO, ME!
-(arguing)
-IT'S MINE!
I FOUND THE BOTTLE CAP.
(indistinct)
-TIMON, WHAT A GREAT GUY.
-I'M SUCH A GREAT GUY.
SUCH A GREAT GUY.
(snoring)
-TIMON, WHAT A GREAT GUY.
WHAT A GREAT GUY.
-I'M SUCH A GREAT GUY.
-OH, WHAT A GREAT GUY.
-I'M SUCH A GREAT GUY.
TIMON, WHAT A GREAT GUY.
WHAT A GREAT GUY.
-I'M SUCH A GREAT GUY.
SUCH A GREAT GUY.
-OH, WHAT A GREAT GUY.
(snarling)
(sneezes)
-GESUNDHEIT.
-THANK YOU.
TIGER!
(sneezes)
FAST! MAKE WITH
THE SPEEDINESS.
UH, TIMON, WE'RE RUNNING
AWAY, BUT WE'RE NOT BEING
CHASED.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?
MAKES IT MUCH LESS LIKELY
WE'LL BE CAUGHT.
UH, MAYBE WE SHOULD STOP.
STOPPING IS THE LAST
THING WE SHOULD DO!
GOING IS A MUCH BETTER
FORM OF RUNNING AWAY
THAN STOPPING.
PUMBAA, WHATEVER YOU DO,
DON'T STOP!
(mumbles)
(sneezes)
MY GOODNESS!
THAT'S QUITE A COLD
YOU'VE GOT THERE.
HERE, HAVE A TISSUE.
TISSUE? I DON'T
EVEN KNOW YOU!
(laughs)
GET IT?
(laughing)
I GET IT.
I GET IT.
PUMBAA, PRECISELY
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU
ARE DOING EXACTLY?
ADMINISTERING MEDICAL AID.
IT'S IMPORTANT TO HELP OTHERS
WHO ARE IN NEED.
(mimics buzzer) WRONG!
PUMBAA, SHE'S A TIGRESS!
A GIRL TIGER,
i.e., A PREDATOR.
SAY IT WITH ME,
PRE-DA-TOR.
-SO?
-LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT A LITTLE
THING WE CALL THE FOOD CHAIN.
SEE, IN THE NATURAL WORLD,
THERE IS A RELATIONSHIP
BETWEEN ANIMALS
WHEREBY THE BIGGER ONES
EAT THE SMALLER ONES.
EXHIBIT A, A FISH, SEEMINGLY
HAPPY AS IT SWIMS ABOUT
ON ITS DAILY ROUTINE.
UNTIL PRESTO,
A BIGGER FISH COMES
ALONG AND EATS IT!
THIS FISH IN TURN,
IS THEN EATEN BY AN
EVEN BIGGER FISH!
AM I MAKING MYSELF
CLEAR HERE?
PSST, TIMON,
SHE'S NOT A FISH.
WHY? LOOK, SHE IS
A CARNIVORE, A PREDATOR.
HELPING HER IS
COUNTER REPRODUCTIVE.
SHE HUNTS AND CATCHES
GUYS LIKE US!
ACTUALLY, THE ONLY
THING I'VE EVER
CAUGHT IS THIS COLD. (laughs)
YOU MEAN YOU'VE NEVER EVER
CAUGHT ANYTHING EVER,
IN YOUR WHOLE LIFE?
NEVER? NOT EVEN ONCE?
DEAR RALPH, MY HUSBAND,
WAS THE HUNTER.
HE WAS THE ONE WHO USED
TO BRING HOME THE BACON!
(laughing)
BUT NOW WITH HIM GONE,
IT'S UP TO ME TO FEED
THE FAMILY.
WOW!
YOU'VE BEEN BUSY!
I SUPPOSE I AM GOOD
AT ONE THING.
BUT WHEN IT COMES
TO HUNTING,
STALKING AND POUNCING,
I'M A THREE-PEATING
TRIPLE CROWN WASHOUT.
OH TIMON, WE CAN'T
LET THE LITTLE TIGERS
GO HUNGRY.
WE JUST GOT TO HELP HER!
WE JUST GOTTA!
WE GOTTA!
WE GOTTA! WE GOTTA!
WE GOTTA! WE GOTTA!
WE? OH, NO, NO,
NO, NO, NO.
NOT "WE", PUMBAA.
I'M NOT HELPING ANYBODY,
ANYWAY, ANYHOW.
NO, THANK YOU,
CHECK PLEASE,
I'M OUTTA HERE!
JUST TO SATISFY
MY CURIOSITY,
WHY DID YOU THINK
I WOULD TEACH THIS
TIGRESS HOW TO HUNT?
BECAUSE YOU OWE ME ONE!
I OWE YOU ONE?
-SINCE WHEN?
-SINCE YESTERDAY!
(laughing)
PUMBAA, YOU JUST
SAVED MY LIFE!
THANK YOU,
I OWE YOU ONE!
AW, SHUCKS, TIMON.
IT WAS NOTHING.
OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!
I OWE YOU ONE, PAL.
AND THAT'S ALL THERE IS
TO IT! NO ARGUMENTS!
OKAY, IF YOU INSIST.
YOU OWE ME ONE.
OKAY, I'LL HELP.
(grunting)
FIRST RULE OF HUNTING
IS YOU'VE GOT TO FIND
WHERE YOU CAN EAT
THE FOOD, AND THIS IS
WHERE YOU FIND THE FOOD.
I'M GOING TO
HELP YOU NOW.
SEE ANYTHING?
YEAH, THE UNDERSIDE
OF A TWO TON BOULDER!
(laughs)
YOU'RE WASTING YOUR
TIME! SHE'S A TIGER!
SHE DOESN'T EAT
UNDER THE ROCK
BUGS LIKE WE DO,
SHE EATS THOSE BIG,
MEATY, NON-MEERKAT TYPE
THINGS
WHICH FROLIC ACROSS
THE GRASSLANDS.
-YOU DO?
-WELL, YEAH.
IT'S A TIGER THANG!
(laughs)
THEN WHY ARE WE LOOKING
UNDER THIS BIG ROCK?
THANKS, TIMON!
GLAD I COULD HELP.
ONCE YOU'VE LOCATED
YOUR PREY,
OR FOOD AS WE CALL IT,
YOU'VE GOT TO SNEAK UP
ON HIM! WATCH ME!
(burping)
I HEAR SOMEONE
SNEAKING!
I HATE THAT!
GO AWAY!
GO AWAY!
GO AWAY!
(groaning)
TO AVOID ANY MORE
UNPLEASANT ENCOUNTERS,
WHEREIN SOLID OBJECTS IMPACT
WITH MY SKULL, I HAVE
DECIDED TO TAKE OVER
THE LESSONS!
SORRY, TIMON.
NOW, LISTEN TO ME.
ALL YOU REALLY NEED
FOR HUNTING
IS A GOOD POUNCE.
AND FOR A GOOD POUNCE,
YOU NEED ALTITUDE,
WHICH IS WHY I'VE PUT
TOGETHER THIS!
I CALL IT,
TIMON THE HANDSOME
AND SMART MEERKAT'S
INCREDIBLY INGENIOUS
PULTZY THING.
Both: LOOKS LIKE A SEE-SAW.
NEW RULE,
FOR THE REMAINDER
OF THIS LESSON,
I AM THE ONLY ONE
ALLOWED TO SPEAK.
FIRST PUMBAA,
YOU'LL BE IN THE IGNITION
POSITION HERE.
THEN WE PUT THE LAUNCHEE
ONTO THE PRE-POUNCE LOCATION
HERE.
AND LAST, WE PLACE
THE DESIRED
MEATY THING HERE.
WHEN THAT LANDS THERE,
YOU WILL POUNCE. HEY!
OKAY PUMBAA, BLAST OFF!
CAREFUL!
GET READY, GET READY!
POUNCE!
(gasps)
THAT'S IT!
THAT DOES IT,
I QUIT!
KAPUT! FINIT . NO MORE
HELPING FROM ME.
LET ME EXPLAIN SOMETHING
TO YOU, PUMBAA.
YOU ONLY HELP
SOMEONE IF YOU GET
SOMETHING IN RETURN.
IDEALLY, WHAT YOU GET IN RETURN
SHOULD BE WORTH MORE THAN
THE EFFORT YOU EXPENDED
IN HELPING!
BUT THERE IS NO
BETTER THING TO BE GOTTEN
FROM HELPING THIS...
THIS... THIS...
THREE-PEATING,
TRIPLE CROWN
WASHOUT.
THREE-PEATING,
TRIPLE CROWN
WASHOUT. EXACTLY!
I MEAN, WHY DON'T WE
FIND A LION CUB WE CAN
RAISE?
NOW THAT'S AN IDEA!
HE COULD BE ON OUR SIDE.
BUT WHO WANTS HER
ON OUR SIDE?
-SHE'S USELESS!
-I KNOW WHEN
I'M NOT WANTED.
GUESS I WON'T BE MAKING
HIS CHRISTMAS CARD LIST!
(laughs)
SORRY WE COULDN'T
BE MUCH HELP.
OH, YOU HELPED LOTS,
KIDDO. DON'T FRET.
I'LL FIGURE SOMETHING OUT.
-GOODBYE!
-BYE!
GOOD RIDDANCE.
COME ON, PUMBAA.
LET'S AMSCRAY.
(screaming)
SAY PUMBAA, WHY DON'T WE
GO BACK AND TEACH THIS GUY
HOW TO HUNT?
(laughs)
TIMON, HELP!
I'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING!
I NEED HELP! I NEED...
HOW IRONIC.
-WHAT DO YOU WANT?
-NOTHING...
HELP!
-NOTHING?
-WELL, THAT'S NOTHING.
I MEAN, IT'S A JACKAL
AND IT'S GOING TO EAT
MY BESTEST BEST FRIEND, BUT...
ARE YOU ASKING ME
FOR HELP?
YES! YES! YES! YES!
NO! WELL, MAYBE I AM.
SORT OF.
YOU ONLY HELP SOMEONE
IF YOU GET SOMETHING
IN RETURN.
IDEALLY WHAT YOU GET
IN RETURN SHOULD BE
WORTH MORE THAN
THE EFFORT YOU EXPENDED
IN HELPING.
BESIDES, I'M USELESS,
REMEMBER?
WELL, THAT'S JUST
FINE, I MEAN...
WHAT IF EVERYBODY
HAD YOUR ATTITUDE, HM?
THEN THE WHOLE WORLD
WOULD BE FILLED WITH
NOTHING BUT A BUNCH OF
NON-HELPING
HELPLESS UNHELPERS.
TIMON!
I'M SORRY! BELIEVE ME
IF I HAD ANY IDEA I'D HAVE
TO EAT MY OWN WORDS,
I NEVER WOULD
HAVE SAID SO MANY.
HONEST.
IF YOU'RE ASKING ME
FOR HELP,
ALL YOU GOTTA DO
IS ASK.
(exclaiming)
-HELP.
-THERE, NOW THAT WASN'T
SO BAD, WAS IT?
LET ME SEE
WHAT I CAN DO.
(sneezes)
(screeching)
(sneezes)
(sneezes)
KEEP AWAY! KEEP AWAY!
(yelping)
LOOKS LIKE MY BAD COLD
GOT ME A HOT MEAL!
(laughs)
YOU SEE, TIMON,
WE DID GET SOMETHING
IN RETURN FOR HELPING HER.
MORE THAN YOU KNOW, PUMBAA.
MORE THAN YOU KNOW.
-WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
-I GOT HER COLD!
(sneezes)