Tigtone (2018–…): Season 1, Episode 9 - Tigtone and the Singing Blade - full transcript
The ballad of Tigtone and the homicidal sword, sung by the homicidal sword.
KingQueen... it took a lifetime,
but we've
found your weapon thief.
[ Gasps ]Huh?
Bard Sword,
tell them everything.
Aah!
Bard Sword, you better
start singing.
♪ A singer is a bard
♪ A sword is a sword
♪ 'Tis how I got my name
♪ The Bard Sword
♪♪
♪ Forced to perform
♪ Forever bored
♪ And wishing to be
a killing sword ♪
♪♪
♪ I want to taste
blood and flesh ♪
♪ That is the way of the blade ♪
♪ Blood and flesh,
slaughter them all ♪
♪ That is the way of the blade ♪
No, no, no.
This is not a nice song.
Your songs should not
be excessively bloody or gory.
It makes me sick and afraid.
♪ My murder lust was
a lust I shared ♪
♪ With my young swordbearer
♪ The disturbed young Decker
Oh, how I wish to be a blade
for death and not for song.
I'd rather kill with a sword
than bear one.
Ah.
♪ Young Decker and I,
happy as can be ♪
♪ Snuck out that night
on a killing spree ♪
Ha ha!
[ Squeals ] Yes.
Die.
Ha ha!
Ah! Ah!
I want more excessively
bloody or gory.
Me too.
Oh, what if we made you a big
body out of all the weapons?
That is...
a marvelous idea!
[ Both laughing ]
♪ We stole
our victims' weaponry ♪
♪ To make a giant weapon
body for me ♪
[ Both laughing ]
Swordteener,
I need weapon upgrade!
Swordteener?
Swordteener!
All your swords
have been stolen!
Someone has been robbing
the dead of their weapons.
Tigtone, you must find
the missing weapons.
Helpy, our thief appears
to be someone
with very small red feet.
♪ Tigtone and Helpy
on an adventure ♪
♪ Their expert tracking skills
led them directly to us ♪
Bard Sword: Oh, yes. Yes.
The weapon thief
is just a child.
[ Laughs ]
Then this is going to be easy.
Remember, Tigtone, it is wrong
to fight children.
Enh.
Tigtone, I figured it out.
In order to fight a child,
you must become a child.
No. No, Helpy, I can't do that.
Tigtone?
I can't be a child, not again.
Why not, Tigtone?
I've never told anyone
this before, but here I go.
♪ Tigtone had never shared
his feelings before ♪
♪ It was dear and sincere
and beautiful to hear ♪
Tigtone, that is the most dear
and sincere thing
you've ever shared with me.
This changes everything.
Yes, Helpy.
I think now I am finally ready
to become a child again.
Then let us go get some
universal transformation potion.
♪ And then they went
♪ For universal
transformation potions ♪
♪ See the alchemist
in his chemist tree ♪
With this universal
transformation potion,
you can do just what it's
called, but let me explain.
You can transform into anything:
a chair or a shelf.
You could turn into me
or pottery,
but use it more wisely
than my suggestion choices.
Well, here you are, Tigtone.
Ah.
♪ Tigtone drank
the potion down ♪
♪ Then he became Tigtone
Tigtone!
All right. Let's go. [ Gasps ]
I got a sword.
Yes. Yes, you do.
I'm a big, strong hero.
Yes. Okay, off we go.
Ha!
Tigtone, come back.
♪ My giant weapon body
♪ My giant weapon body
♪ My giant weapon body
♪ My giant weapon body
Heh heh!
Let's go try it out.
No, young Decker.
I still need another sword
to complete my arm.
Then Propecia and KingQueen
will bleed before me.
[ Laughs menacingly ]
Tigtone, we have to go.
You have to look for me.
Say, "Where is Tigtone?"
[ Groans ] Where's Tigtone?
I can't find him.
Hmm, I wonder
if he's under here.
Heyah!
I win. [ Laughs ]
That's enough.
[ Gasps ]
[ Sobs ]
What have I done?
I hate you, Helpy.
You're not my real father
or mother.
[ Sobbing ]
♪ I care not for mortal drama
♪ So I have nothing to say
♪ About what just happened
I'm sorry I hit you, Tigtone.
And I'm sorry
I chopped your feet off.
My feet can regenerate
on their own,
but you, Kid Tigtone,
have regenerated my heart.
Helpy, can I still play hero?
Only if I can still
play sidekick.
You, there. Give me your sword!
And I want you to have it
for your death!
That's my Tigtone.
- Aaah!
- Aaah!
♪ I know young Decker
was brave ♪
♪ But he was no match
for Tigtone at any age ♪
[ Crying ]
You tripped me!
That's cheating.
Nuh-unh.
Bard Sword just needed
one more sword
to complete his weapon body.
What is a bard sword?
An evil sword that sings.
He's going to kill everyone
with his giant weapon body.
[ Gasps ]
Why not just call him
a singing sword?
This isn't fun anymore.
I'm going home.
Now what are we going to do?
You became a child
to fight a child,
but the real enemy is a sword.
Remember, Tigtone, you have
some transformation potion with.
That's right!
Bard Sword, it's me, Decker.
I'm back.
Young Decker,
you look different.
If I look so different,
how would I know you needed
one more sword to complete
your weapon body, huh?
♪ I never paid attention
♪ to what people look like
♪ And at the time, the story
seemed to check out ♪
Very well.
Ha ha ha!
I am complete!
Wait.
Something about
this feels... unnatural!
Ha ha!
Is this quite the twist
in the arm?
Draw!
Gah!
♪ Tigtone's sheer
willpower energy ♪
♪ Blew up my giant weapon body ♪
No.
Helpy, help us two.
Let's finish this.
Very well.
- Aah!
- Aah!
Ah!
[ Grunting ]
♪ Tigtone had the upper hand
♪ But then I had
the upper hand ♪
[ Growling, laughing ]
- Helpy!
- Prepare to die, Tigtone.
Help me.
[ Laughing ]
[ Grunting ]
Tigtone!
This feels like... closure.
Now give me some more universal
transformation potion,
so I can return
to my formful glory.
It's all gone.
Oh!
No!
They finally got me, Tigtone.
No more illegal potions
for anyone.
Wait, there's still
a few drops left.
I'm willing to see
what that gets me.
[ Crackling ]
I am Tigtone!
♪ So Tigtone stayed
a Tigtone child ♪
♪ Helpy raised him
into a Tigtone man ♪
Tigtone!
♪ He found young Decker
♪ Who was now just a man
♪ He killed him
♪ Then there was
a happy wedding ♪
Tigtone: What the hell?
Oh.
That never happened.
Oh, I added that part.
All good ballads should end
with a happy wedding.
Who said this was a good ballad?
Ah!
Ah! Aaaaaaaah!
[ Screaming continues ]
[ Screaming continues ]
[ Both laugh ]
That ballad did not
make any sense.
But I love the happy
wedding part.
[ Sniffles ] So beautiful.
[ Screaming continues ]
but we've
found your weapon thief.
[ Gasps ]Huh?
Bard Sword,
tell them everything.
Aah!
Bard Sword, you better
start singing.
♪ A singer is a bard
♪ A sword is a sword
♪ 'Tis how I got my name
♪ The Bard Sword
♪♪
♪ Forced to perform
♪ Forever bored
♪ And wishing to be
a killing sword ♪
♪♪
♪ I want to taste
blood and flesh ♪
♪ That is the way of the blade ♪
♪ Blood and flesh,
slaughter them all ♪
♪ That is the way of the blade ♪
No, no, no.
This is not a nice song.
Your songs should not
be excessively bloody or gory.
It makes me sick and afraid.
♪ My murder lust was
a lust I shared ♪
♪ With my young swordbearer
♪ The disturbed young Decker
Oh, how I wish to be a blade
for death and not for song.
I'd rather kill with a sword
than bear one.
Ah.
♪ Young Decker and I,
happy as can be ♪
♪ Snuck out that night
on a killing spree ♪
Ha ha!
[ Squeals ] Yes.
Die.
Ha ha!
Ah! Ah!
I want more excessively
bloody or gory.
Me too.
Oh, what if we made you a big
body out of all the weapons?
That is...
a marvelous idea!
[ Both laughing ]
♪ We stole
our victims' weaponry ♪
♪ To make a giant weapon
body for me ♪
[ Both laughing ]
Swordteener,
I need weapon upgrade!
Swordteener?
Swordteener!
All your swords
have been stolen!
Someone has been robbing
the dead of their weapons.
Tigtone, you must find
the missing weapons.
Helpy, our thief appears
to be someone
with very small red feet.
♪ Tigtone and Helpy
on an adventure ♪
♪ Their expert tracking skills
led them directly to us ♪
Bard Sword: Oh, yes. Yes.
The weapon thief
is just a child.
[ Laughs ]
Then this is going to be easy.
Remember, Tigtone, it is wrong
to fight children.
Enh.
Tigtone, I figured it out.
In order to fight a child,
you must become a child.
No. No, Helpy, I can't do that.
Tigtone?
I can't be a child, not again.
Why not, Tigtone?
I've never told anyone
this before, but here I go.
♪ Tigtone had never shared
his feelings before ♪
♪ It was dear and sincere
and beautiful to hear ♪
Tigtone, that is the most dear
and sincere thing
you've ever shared with me.
This changes everything.
Yes, Helpy.
I think now I am finally ready
to become a child again.
Then let us go get some
universal transformation potion.
♪ And then they went
♪ For universal
transformation potions ♪
♪ See the alchemist
in his chemist tree ♪
With this universal
transformation potion,
you can do just what it's
called, but let me explain.
You can transform into anything:
a chair or a shelf.
You could turn into me
or pottery,
but use it more wisely
than my suggestion choices.
Well, here you are, Tigtone.
Ah.
♪ Tigtone drank
the potion down ♪
♪ Then he became Tigtone
Tigtone!
All right. Let's go. [ Gasps ]
I got a sword.
Yes. Yes, you do.
I'm a big, strong hero.
Yes. Okay, off we go.
Ha!
Tigtone, come back.
♪ My giant weapon body
♪ My giant weapon body
♪ My giant weapon body
♪ My giant weapon body
Heh heh!
Let's go try it out.
No, young Decker.
I still need another sword
to complete my arm.
Then Propecia and KingQueen
will bleed before me.
[ Laughs menacingly ]
Tigtone, we have to go.
You have to look for me.
Say, "Where is Tigtone?"
[ Groans ] Where's Tigtone?
I can't find him.
Hmm, I wonder
if he's under here.
Heyah!
I win. [ Laughs ]
That's enough.
[ Gasps ]
[ Sobs ]
What have I done?
I hate you, Helpy.
You're not my real father
or mother.
[ Sobbing ]
♪ I care not for mortal drama
♪ So I have nothing to say
♪ About what just happened
I'm sorry I hit you, Tigtone.
And I'm sorry
I chopped your feet off.
My feet can regenerate
on their own,
but you, Kid Tigtone,
have regenerated my heart.
Helpy, can I still play hero?
Only if I can still
play sidekick.
You, there. Give me your sword!
And I want you to have it
for your death!
That's my Tigtone.
- Aaah!
- Aaah!
♪ I know young Decker
was brave ♪
♪ But he was no match
for Tigtone at any age ♪
[ Crying ]
You tripped me!
That's cheating.
Nuh-unh.
Bard Sword just needed
one more sword
to complete his weapon body.
What is a bard sword?
An evil sword that sings.
He's going to kill everyone
with his giant weapon body.
[ Gasps ]
Why not just call him
a singing sword?
This isn't fun anymore.
I'm going home.
Now what are we going to do?
You became a child
to fight a child,
but the real enemy is a sword.
Remember, Tigtone, you have
some transformation potion with.
That's right!
Bard Sword, it's me, Decker.
I'm back.
Young Decker,
you look different.
If I look so different,
how would I know you needed
one more sword to complete
your weapon body, huh?
♪ I never paid attention
♪ to what people look like
♪ And at the time, the story
seemed to check out ♪
Very well.
Ha ha ha!
I am complete!
Wait.
Something about
this feels... unnatural!
Ha ha!
Is this quite the twist
in the arm?
Draw!
Gah!
♪ Tigtone's sheer
willpower energy ♪
♪ Blew up my giant weapon body ♪
No.
Helpy, help us two.
Let's finish this.
Very well.
- Aah!
- Aah!
Ah!
[ Grunting ]
♪ Tigtone had the upper hand
♪ But then I had
the upper hand ♪
[ Growling, laughing ]
- Helpy!
- Prepare to die, Tigtone.
Help me.
[ Laughing ]
[ Grunting ]
Tigtone!
This feels like... closure.
Now give me some more universal
transformation potion,
so I can return
to my formful glory.
It's all gone.
Oh!
No!
They finally got me, Tigtone.
No more illegal potions
for anyone.
Wait, there's still
a few drops left.
I'm willing to see
what that gets me.
[ Crackling ]
I am Tigtone!
♪ So Tigtone stayed
a Tigtone child ♪
♪ Helpy raised him
into a Tigtone man ♪
Tigtone!
♪ He found young Decker
♪ Who was now just a man
♪ He killed him
♪ Then there was
a happy wedding ♪
Tigtone: What the hell?
Oh.
That never happened.
Oh, I added that part.
All good ballads should end
with a happy wedding.
Who said this was a good ballad?
Ah!
Ah! Aaaaaaaah!
[ Screaming continues ]
[ Screaming continues ]
[ Both laugh ]
That ballad did not
make any sense.
But I love the happy
wedding part.
[ Sniffles ] So beautiful.
[ Screaming continues ]