Three's Company (1976–1984): Season 8, Episode 17 - Jack Takes Off - full transcript

A pretty art teacher moves in next to the three, and Jack takes her classes in order to get close to her. He agrees to be a model but finds out he has to be nude. Embarrassing enough, but then Mr Furley joins the class.

♪ Come and knock on our door ♪

♪ Come and knock on our door ♪

♪ We've been waitin' for you ♪

♪ We've been waitin' for you ♪

♪ Where the kisses are
hers and hers and his ♪

♪ Three's company too ♪

♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪
♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪

♪ Take a step that is new ♪
♪ Take a step that is new ♪

♪ We've a loveable space
that needs your face ♪

♪ Three's company too ♪

♪ You'll see that
life is a ball again ♪



♪ Laughter is calling for you ♪

♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪

♪ Three's company too ♪

♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪

♪ Three's company too ♪

♪♪

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What is that?

I think it's a saxophone.

I know what it is.

I mean, where is it coming from?

It's got to be that idiot

who just moved in next door.

How could he be
so inconsiderate?



Really, Jack, it's the
middle of the night.

I'm gonna go over there

and wrap that sax
around his neck.

Jack, wait.

Don't you think you
ought to get dressed first?

I'm not trying to impress him.

I just want to shut him up.

We're never gonna
get any sleep now.

Who's there?

I live next door.

I want to talk to
the sax player.

That's me.

Hey, you sound
great. Really terrific.

I really liked it.

You came running
all the way over here

in your underwear
just to tell me that?

Well, good music makes me move.

I just wanted to welcome you

to the apartment.

You just moved
in, right? Mm-hmm.

That's great.

It's a little chilly out here.

Well, we can take care of that.

Come on in. You bet.

Will you shut the door please?

You got it.

Well, come on over here.

Hurt me.

This will make you warm.

Oh. Well... well,
thank you very much.

I'm Arlene Price.

Jack Tripper. How are you?

Good, Jack.

So, you're a musician, huh?

No, I just play to relax.

Actually, I'm an artist.

An artist? Really?

Is this one of your paintings?

Uh-huh.

Oh.

You know, I'm
somewhat of an artist too.

Really?

I'm a chef.

My canvas is the frying pan.

Ohh...

You might say I work in oils:

olive, safflower.

And a lot of corn.

That's true. That's me.

But I really love good art.

Really? Who are
your favorite painters?

Painters? Um... Whistler.

Whistler? Sure.

Um, why would you pick him?

Well, he was always
very nice to his mother.

Did you know he
never painter her

when she was off her rocker?

Anything else you
can enlighten me on?

I'm sure there is.

Um, I mean about art.

Art who?

Jack. Oh, art art.

No, no, no, you're
the artist around here,

and from what I can see,

really a good one too.

Do you really like them?

Yes. Take this for instance.

To the untrained
eye, it just might seem

that you splashed the
paint on here recklessly,

but I can see that you had

an overall pattern in mind,

and I really appreciate
the keen use

of your space and color.

Very nice. What do you call it?

My palette. Your what?

It's where I mix my paints.

Ah! Well, you do a
very good job of that.

Very nice. Oh, yeah, it does...

I was gonna have
a glass of wine.

Would you care to join me?

Would I.

Jack, it's us.

Yeah, are you
all right in there?

Who are they?

Bag ladies.

Go away!

I left your ball of string

in the shopping cart
downstairs, all right?

Jack, are you coming home?

Yes, in a second!

You live with those bag ladies?

Well, uh, uh, see...

I think that's terrific.

You do?

Yes. When I moved
into this neighborhood,

I thought it was so straight.

It's good to know there's
people around here

without any hang-ups.

Hey, no hang-ups
to hang up this kid.

How 'bout some wine?

Oh, well, it sounds like you should
be getting back to your roommates.

The what? Oh, them! Oh, yeah.

Yeah, it is a little late.

Um, how 'bout tomorrow night?

Oh, well I'm kind
of busy nights.

I'm teaching an art class
down at the community center.

Really? Mm-hmm.

You know something?

I've always wanted
to take up painting.

I don't suppose
there'd be enough room

for me in your art class.

What do you think?

Well, sure.

It's open to anybody
in the community.

Why don't you come
tomorrow night?

We could have a
drink afterwards.

Now, that is a great idea.

Great! Room 202, 8:00.

202, 8:00.

I'll see you then. Good night.

Jack. Yeah?

Haven't you forgotten something?

Of course.

My robe. Your robe.

Ciao.

Au Renoir.

Okay, Terri, what's keeping him?

I guess it takes time

to wrap a sax around
someone's neck.

Jack! Jack!

What took you so long?

Why wouldn't you
let us in? Yeah.

Well, Terri, you know, Janet,

things were
getting a little ugly,

and I didn't want
you girls around

in case I had to get physical.

No kidding. What happened?

Well, it's man stuff.

Let's just say I came
on pretty strong.

Way to go, Jack!

Aah!

Thanks a lot, Jack.

Now we can all get
some sleep around here.

Yeah.

♪♪

I thought you took
care of everything.

I did.

Then what's that?

Stardust.

That is Stardust.

I'll see you later, ladies.

Where are you off to?

I'm going to an art class.

You?

What is it that you find

so tremendously humorous?

Come on, Jack.

You remember that birthday card

you made for Terri
one time that had

that funny-looking
chicken on it?

That was not a
chicken. That was Terri.

I rest my case.

Face it, Jack, you're
just not the artistic type.

So? Can't I learn?

It it a crime to try
to take advantage

of the cultural activities

that this community
has to offer?

Hey, Jack, we
didn't mean that...

No, I'm serious. Jack!

Did you get a look at the gorgeous
art teacher that moved in next door?

Whoo! What a fox!

Art teacher?

Yeah, Furley says she
teaches a class downtown.

You big phony.

What, I-I didn't start
any trouble, did I?

Yes, you did.

Ooh, goody, goody, goody, goody.

Mind if I take a ringside seat?

You're out of here, Larry.

Oh, come on. Can't I listen?

Out! Come on, Jack.

I haven't had any fun all day.

You're out!

Jack, you are
really unbelievable.

You'd do just about anything

to make it with a
girl, wouldn't you.

You two think that
I'm taking this art class

just to hit on the teacher?

Oh, no, of course not,

but it's a good thing she
doesn't teach skydiving.

Face it, Jack. We know you.

See, that's the
trouble with you two.

You're always
thinking the worst.

And we're usually right.

No, I'll tell you why
I'm taking this art class.

I'm taking it to improve myself,

to make myself a
more interesting person.

And if you don't believe that,

that's your problem.

I believe him.

Hi.

Hi, Jack. I'll be with
you in just a minute.

Oh, hey, come
on. Take your time.

Take your time.

Oh, Jack, this is terrible.

I know. I'll run out and
buy you another one.

What? I ate the banana.

Oh, never mind about that.

That was my model on the phone.

He can't make it tonight.

He can't?

Well, I guess that means

that we have the
whole night to ourselves.

No, that means I still
have to give the class.

It'll have to be a lecture,

and I hate lecturing.

It gives me such a headache.

How long do these
headaches last?

I mean, uh, why can't
you get your students

to paint something else?

You know, like this
basket of fruit here.

Because this is a
class in figure drawing.

Oh, I'd give anything

to lay my hands on a model.

Hey, Arlene, if it
means that much to you,

I'll pose for you.

You? Sure.

Have you ever modeled before?

No, but how hard can it be?

I'll give you anything you want.

What do you need? High fashion?

Or low fashion?

No, I got... Jack.

You want something
classical like The Archer.

Or The Archer's Son, you know.

Don't kill me, Daddy!

Contemporary. Hoo-ah.

Laid back.

I got more. What do you want?

I don't need any more, Jack.

You can get undressed in there.

Great.

Undressed?

Well, sure, Jack.

You can't pose in the
nude with your clothes on.

Nu-nu-nude. Nude.
Nu-nu... I knew that.

I'm so glad you're here,

and not somebody who's uptight

about taking off his clothes.

How do you know I'm not uptight?

Well, Jack, anyone who wanders

around the neighborhood
in his underwear

can't be too uptight.

Yeah, but see, that-that-that...

When I went...

Okay, when we...

Jack, you don't
have any hang-ups

about posing for me.

Hang-up... Hang-ups? Me?

I didn't think so.

You can find a robe in there.

I hope so.

All right, class.
Let's get started.

Please set up as
quickly as you can.

As promised,

tonight we'll be
sketching the nude male.

Um, our original
model cancelled,

but a friend of mine has
graciously agreed to fill in.

Jack?

Uh, Jack, are you ready?

Arlene. Uh-huh?

You know something?
I've been thinking.

Who are they?

Well, they're my students, Jack.

Oh.

Now, let's get
you set over here.

Uh, um...

Okay.

Jack, we could
see you a lot better

if you sat on the stool.

I know.

Good.

Now, let's just move
a little to the left.

Now turn your head to the side.

Good, good, good.

Now just one more thing. Huh?

Drop your robe.

Bombs away.

Sorry I'm late. I was just...

I'll get it, Jack.

Hello. Oh, hi, Mr. Furley.

What?

Does Jack still
have goose bumps?

Here, I'll take that.

No, Mr. Furley, listen.

The goose bumps are
gone. Thank you very much.

And I really appreciate you
fixing the heater in my bedroom.

All right? Bye, bye, bye.

Hey, Jack, tell us
about your art class.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Uh, some other time.

No, come on, Jack.

We know what
happened last night.

You do?

Yeah.

Show why don't you just show us

so we can all have
a good laugh too?

What?

Your artwork.

Yeah, come on, Jack.

We know that you can't draw.

You must have made

a complete fool of yourself.

Well, as a matter of fact,

the teacher did say

that my sketches were very good

and that I showed great promise.

You're kidding.

Oh, no way.

Mr. Furley. Mr... Mr. Furley.

Hi, Jack.

Promise me you won't
mention anything to the girls

about seeing me pose
last night, would you?

Hi, Mr. Furley. Hi, Mr. Furley.

Hi.

Did Jack tell you

I bumped into him last night?

Mr. Furley.

You saw Jack last night?

In the flesh.

Where?

In art class.

Since when did you
get interested in art?

When I found out
the classes are free.

Thank you very
much for stopping by.

No, wait, Jack. Wait, wait!

Mr. Furley, did you get to see

any of Jack's work?

I saw all of it.

Is he any good?

Good? I have never
seen so much raw talent.

Really?

I can honestly say

that I saw a side of Jack

I had never seen before.

Don't you think it's about time
for you girls to be getting dressed?

Oh, right. I can't
be late today.

See you, Mr. Furley.

Yeah, bye, Mr. Furley.

Well, how'd I do, Jack?

I didn't mention one
word about the posing.

You were amazing. Thanks a lot.

What are friends for?

Hi, Jack. Hi, Mr. Furley.

Hi. Arlene, what
are you doing here?

I came by to see
if you were all right.

You left so fast last night,

I didn't get a chance
to see you after class.

Didn't you see enough
of him during class?

Sorry. Thank you, Mr. Furley.

I brought something for you.

Oh, thank you.

Let's see.

It's me.

All of me.

Do you like it?

I did it myself after class.

From memory. Really?

It's, uh, very natural.

Thanks, Jack.

Well, I got to be running along.

Good. I mean good-bye

because I have to
be running along too.

I'll talk to you
later. Thanks a lot.

Bye. Very thoughtful.

Jack!

Yeah? Yeah?

Yeah?

Jack!

Listen, we were wondering,
did the mail come yet?

Uh, I didn't look.

I'll take a look. No, you won't!

Why? Because I'll
take a look for the mail

while you two girls
go on into the kitchen

and have yourselves
a second cup of coffee.

Oh, why thank you, Jack.

Yeah, that is very
nice of you, Jack.

Hey, look what I found
outside your door, Jack.

What is it, Larry?

Isn't it obvious what this is?

You know, it's wrapped
in a brown paper bag.

Come on, you've heard
about these sick people

leaving things like
this on your doorstep.

This can only be smut!

Smut?

Do you really think so?

Let's take a look.

Not in front of
the girls, Larry.

What's wrong with you?
Just take this out of here.

What do you want
me to do with it?

I don't care what
you do with that filth.

Just get rid of it. Okay, okay.

You're starting to
sound like my mother.

Lawrence!

Well, I'd better go get dressed.

See you. Hang on a second, Jack.

There was something
that Terri and I

wanted to say to you.

We're sorry we made
fun of you before.

Yeah, Jack.

We didn't know
that you were really

interested in art.

We owe you a great big apology.

Don't you think it's
a little late for that?

Oh, Jack.

No.

A guy tries to improve himself

instead of sitting
around stagnating,

and what does he get for it?

Oh, come on,
Jack. Don't get mad.

I'm not mad. I'm hurt.

After all these years,

I thought you girls would
know me better than that.

Larry. Larry.

Oh, hi, Jack.

About that package...

Guess what, Jack.

I have a date with
Marilyn Campbell.

That's nice, but about...

Nice?

It's Marilyn Campbell.

The guy who said
no to every guy here,

and she is going
out with me tonight.

I'm very happy for you, Larry,

but about that package

I asked you to get rid of.

You mean the
naked picture of you?

Shh!

You looked?

Come on, Jack, would you relax?

I got rid of it just
like you asked me to.

Oh, thanks, Lar. Okay.

Frank, a beer for
my friend Jack.

Oh, coming right up.

I could use a beer.

I can't tell you
how good it feels

not to have to worry

about that darn picture anymore.

I know what you mean.

Some... Something...
Something...

Something wrong with the beer?

How... how...
how... how... how...

Hey, guys, I think
he noticed his picture.

You gave my
picture to the Beagle?

I didn't give it to them.

Well, sorry.

I sold it.

You what?

Yeah. For $20.

Here's your share. 10 big ones.

Larry, how could you?

You told me to get rid of it.

You didn't say where.

I'm gonna kill you.

Come on, Jack.

I don't see what you're
getting so upset about.

That's a very good likeness.

Larry!

Of course, she did
exaggerate a little.

Your shoulders
aren't quite that wide.

Frank. Frank.

You got to get
rid of that painting.

Hey, guys, Jack wants me

to get rid of his painting.

What do you say?

No!

Well, you heard
the public, Jack.

You satisfied now?

I'll never be able to show
my face around here again.

It's not your face you
have to worry about.

I am going to kill you,
Larry. You know that?

Come on, Jack, I'm just kidding.

It's not as bad as you think.

Oh, sure, easy for you to say.

It's not you up there.

Of course not.

I do have my
principles. Excuse me.

Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no.

Girls, we have to
go home right now.

Jack! Hey!

We just got here! Yeah.

Listen, I got to... It's so dull
here. It's really yawn city.

I got an idea.

How 'bout if we go on home

and I'll make you
the best dinner

you've ever had in your lives?

Hey, good idea. I thought so.

But let's just each have
a quick glass of wine.

No, no, no, no, no.

Could we each have...

Oh, no!

Oh, yes.

Oh, God.

Oh, my...

Oh, my.

Oh! Oh!

Jack.

Don't say it.

I-I-I was just going to say

that it's a very nice picture.

Yeah, can I have one
made for my wallet?

Oh, no, no, no,
Terri. I don't think so.

You would lose a lot
of the detail that way.

Okay, I'm only
gonna say this once.

You've got to know that
that was not my fault.

I was conned into it,

and I just didn't
know how to say no.

Aw, Jack, don't be so modest.

You said you wanted
to be more interesting,

and you certainly are.

And you certainly aren't
stagnating up there.

You guys are real good
friends, you know that?

I'm really proud to know you.

Oh, come on. We're sorry.

Oh, sure.

We won't mention it again.

Oh, right. Yeah,
right. We won't.

So, what do you
think of our centerfold,

Jack Stripper?

Larry, why don't
you go far, far away?

Not until you've met
someone very special.

Marilyn, I would like you
to meet Janet and Terri.

Hi. Nice to meet you. Hello.

And this is Jack,
our local celebrity.

Hi.

Haven't I seen you somewhere?

Um, no, no, no.

Wait a minute.

That's you above the bar!

This is never going to end.

Well, folks, we'll
see you later.

Come on, Marilyn. No. Wait.

You know, Jack,

I really like that picture.

You do?

Oh, yes, there's
something about it.

Yeah, something
crazy. Let's go, Marilyn.

I think it's the soulful
look in your eyes.

Well, a lot of people
have told me that.

I have a feeling

there's more to you
than meets the eye.

Not much more.

I'd really like to get
to know you better.

Are you doing anything tonight?

Not a thing.

Whoa, Marilyn, Marilyn.

Marilyn, excuse me, Marilyn.

Don't you think three's a crowd?

You're right, Larry.

We'll make it some other time.

We'll make it...

Let's go, Jack.

Excuse us. Uh, one thing.

You really like that picture?

Oh, yeah.

Good, I'll have one
made up for your wallet.

Excuse us.

Marilyn? Jack? Marilyn!

Yeah, well, okay. Great.

Thanks, Frank.

I really appreciate
you calling. Bye-bye.

What did Frank want?

He wanted to let me
know that he took down

the picture at the Regal Beagle.

They finally got tired
of you begging, huh?

Are you kidding me?

It was the guys
down at the Beagle

who did the begging.

Why?

They said it was
unfair competition.

Yeah!

No way.

That doesn't say much

for the guys down at the Beagle.

Hi, Janet.

Hi, Mr. Furley. Come on in.

Jack, would you
like me to give you

a lift to art class tonight?

Uh, no thanks, R.F.

I think I've had enough
art for a long time.

Thank you very much.

Yeah, it left him cold.

Terri, don't start on
me again, please.

Sorry. Sorry.

I better be going.

I don't want to be
late for class. Okay.

Oh, would you like to
see some of my work?

Uh, no.

We don't want you
to be late for class.

Right. You don't want to
keep your teacher waiting.

Yeah, you're right.

I'll show you this picture

I made of Jack tomorrow.

Okay. Wait! Oh!

We want to see it now!

No, let him go. He'll be late.

Shut up, Jack.

Yeah, please,
Mr. Furley, please.

Okay.

Ohh!

That is cute.

Yeah, he's got
you down pat, Jack.

Oh, no.

Come on. Here, take a look.

Yeah.

Mr. Furley, that's a
very good resemblance.

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