Three's Company (1976–1984): Season 8, Episode 15 - Look What I Found - full transcript

When they find a cat on their door step they take it in but unfortunately pets are not allowed in the building so they hide it. But when Furley sees it he takes a liking to it and takes it in. But when an inspector his brother sent to see if all the rules of the building are enforced he hides it. At the same time the cat's owner a little girl comes looking for it and when jack asks for it Furley tells him that he took the cat to the pound. So they each get a cat for the girl. When the inspector arrives they try to hide the cats.

♪ Come and knock on our door ♪

♪ Come and knock on our door ♪

♪ We've been waitin' for you ♪

♪ We've been waitin' for you ♪

♪ Where the kisses are
hers and hers and his ♪

♪ Three's company too ♪

♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪
♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪

♪ Take a step that is new ♪
♪ Take a step that is new ♪

♪ We've a loveable space
that needs your face ♪

♪ Three's company too ♪

♪ You'll see that
life is a ball again ♪



♪ Laughter is calling for you ♪

♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪

♪ Three's company too ♪

♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪

♪ Three's company too ♪

So you really like the dress?

Oh! It looked fabulous.
It was so pretty.

Nice long hem...

You sure you girls don't want
any of my cheese omelet?

No, Jack, none for me.

I'll just stick with
my juice and toast.

Well...

maybe I will have
just a little bite.

Yeah, I think I might just
try a little smidgen there.



How does it taste, girls?

It's delicious. Mm-hmm.

Ooh! Well, I'm glad the
eggs weren't so rotten after all.

Jack! Jack!

I'll get the paper.

Jack! Jack!

Oh, and you know, the
cheese looked kinda moldy, too.

Nah. Nah.

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Awww!

Janet, Terri, come here.

Yeah, Jack? Look.

Awww!

I just found it right outside.

Aren't you a cutie.

She sure is.

Terri, do you think she
belongs to anybody?

Well, she's not
wearing a collar.

Good. Then she must be a stray.

Great!

Whoa, whoa. Let's
not get any ideas.

We can't keep her. Why not?

You know the rule:
No pets or else.

Furley would throw us out.

Oh, he's all talk.

Oh, yeah? Remember how
he threw Mrs. Kolinski out

when he caught her with a pet?

That was a boa constrictor.

This is just a
tiny little kitten.

Who could get mad at that?

Mr. Furley.

Yeah, Jack?

Hi, Mr. Furley.

Hi.

Here, you better take your paper

before somebody grabs it.

Here, we'll take that.

Thanks a lot.

Was there, uh, something else?

No.

Can't I just come up
to shoot the breeze?

I just like to visit with my
tenants once in a while.

What are we looking at, Jack?

Nothing, nothing.

Jack! Why do you keep
turning away from me?

Well, it's so early
in the morning.

I really don't look my best.

I don't care how you look.

Turn around.

Yeah, you're right.
You don't look too good.

Well, it's just...

It's just... Aah! Aah!

Sorry. I'm just a little jittery

without that first cup
of coffee in the morning.

I better go get it.

Not so fast!

Nothing gets past
old eagle-eye Furley.

No, see...

Don't try to fool me.

You're putting on a
little weight, aren't you?

Oh, darn. I was hoping
you wouldn't notice.

I guess I had too many
Regal Beagle beers.

What was that?

Uh, that was Jack.

He said that he's
got to go neow.

Neow?

Right neow.

See ya.

Yeah. See ya, Mr. Furley.

Boy, tenants.

Unless they want something,

they won't give
you the time of day.

All right, I'm going.

Yes, neow!

Do you believe that?

We sure fooled him, huh?

Yeah, but for how long?

Old eagle-eye is in and
out of here all the time.

We just can't keep her.

We can't just throw her out.

Of course. We have
to find her a home.

Where? Yeah, where? Where?

I got it. Let's give
her to Mr. Furley.

Hold it. Earth to Janet.

That's who we're
hiding her from.

Jack, I know that.

But you guys know Mr. Furley.

I mean, down deep, he's
nothing but a big softie.

When he gets a look
at this itty-bitty face...

Yeah, but, Janet, the rules.

Oh, Jack. He's in charge.

He can break the rules.

We can't give him the kitten,

or else he'll know that we know

that he's breaking the rules.

Okay, okay, we won't
just give her to him.

We'll leave her on his doorstep.

How are we gonna
get her to stay there?

Well...

Got any Krazy Glue?

Jack!

What about a staple gun?

Aah!

Flypaper: You like that?

Aah!

What are you doing?

You want her to look
her best, don't you?

Oh, Jack!

Hide, hide, hide.

Okay, kitty,

when he opens the door, smile.

But remember,
whatever he's wearing,

try not to laugh.

Yeah?

Darn kids.

It's a cat!

How did you reach the doorbell?

What are you doing
around here anyway?

Don't you know this
is no-pet territory?

I'm the head honcho around here,

and that's one of
my strictest rules.

Of course if, uh...

if you wanna hang
around a while,

I guess I can make an exception.

But you better
keep it quiet, okay?

What's the matter,
cat got your tongue?

That's a joke.

You'll find I'm quite a kidder.

Oh, you're gonna like it here.

Nice and quiet.

Not like those other apartments.

All the friends
dropping in, laughing,

talking and carrying on.

They never get a minute's peace.

But hey, don't get me wrong.

There's plenty of
excitement right here.

Do you like to watch television?

Let's see.

What kind of shows
would be good for you?

I know! Kiddy shows!

Hey, you know something?

We're gonna have
to find a name for you.

I got it! Patches.

Patches.

When I was a kid, I had
a cat named Patches.

You remind me of him.

Cutest little thing.

He was my best friend.

Then one day...

while I was at
school, he got out...

and this big truck came along...

Well, I'm gonna
call you Patches.

But you better
never cross the street

without my permission, okay?

Okay, I gotta answer the phone.

You wait right here.

Don't take anything, now.

I wouldn't wanna find out you
were one of those cat burglars.

You're gonna get quite a sense
of humor hanging around me.

I probably better
take you with me.

Hello?

Bart!

It's my brother Bart.
He owns the building.

Don't say anything.

Hello, Bart?

Yeah, everything's just fine.

Well, yeah, expenses have
been running a little high, but...

A troubleshooter?

What do you mean he's
on his way over here?

Bart, I...

I've been doing a
good job, haven't I?

Hello?

Hello?

Damn!

Excuse me.

Now what am I gonna do with you?

Oh, if he finds you here...

Uh, girls, keep your seat, okay?

Don't move. I'll get
the door. No problem.

I'm getting it right now. See?

Well, hi. Are you the Avon lady?

No.

I'm Muffit.

Oh, hi. I'm Jack.

Have you seen my kitty?

Uh... come in.

Um, your kitty?

Are you looking for a kitty?

Uh-huh. I've been
looking all over for her.

Her name is Cuddles.

Her name is Cuddles.

That was your kitten?

Yes. Do you have her?

Yes, we did... We
did, but we don't...

We will, though.

Huh?

Look, why don't you go into
the kitchen with Auntie Terri here

and have some yummy
milk and cookies, okay?

And what will you and
Auntie Janet be doing?

We'll be thinking about
paying a visit to Uncle Furley.

See? Everything in
that bathroom works.

And that goes for
the rest of the building.

They don't call me
Mr. Fix-it for nothing.

If a faucet drips around here,

I replace it, pronto!

Why don't you just
put in a new washer?

A washer?

Yes.

If you keep replacing
every little thing,

there go the profits.

But doesn't Bart want...

He wants managers
who keep expenses down,

collect the rents,

and make sure the
tenants follow the rules.

Oh, I do that.

I keep my tenants in line.

One little infraction,
and they're out.

Good.

Just last week,

we had a tenant in the Marina.

He broke a rule.

We threw him out.

Way to go.

Along with the manager.

Way to... go.

Can I get a glass of water?

Well, I don't know.

I don't want that water
bill to go through the roof.

You gotta watch expenses.

Right through there.

Hey, Mr. Furley.

Jack! Is it important?
I got company.

Well, it's about the cat.

Cat? Cat?

There are no cats around here.

Mr. Furley, I saw you
pick up a cat and take it in.

Oh, that cat.

Well, I took it
straight to the pound.

What?

Well, you know
the rules. No pets.

If there's one thing I
do it's enforce the rules.

Tenants. You just have
to know how to handle 'em.

I thought you were
too easy on him.

Janet! Terri!

Yeah, Jack? Oh,
where's the kitten?

Furley took it to the pound.

He what?

Did you find my kitty?

Uh, well, we...

Janet, let me... let me explain.

Oh, thanks, Jack.

Hey, Muffit. Hi.

Why don't you sit
on my tuffit right here.

You know something? Uh...

There are certain things in life

that don't go exactly...

I want Cuddles!

On second thought, maybe
Aunt Terri knows what to say.

Terri?

I do. Uh...

How about some milk and cookies?

Again?

Jack? Jack, what are you doing?

We have to get her kitten back.

That's what I'm
trying to do, Janet.

I'm trying to figure out which
pound Furley took the cat to.

I mean, how many pounds
can there be in this area.

Three?

Well, that's one pound
apiece for us, okay?

All right. But first...

Jack, what are we
gonna do about Muffit?

I'm taking care
of that right now.

I'm gonna have
Larry baby-sit her.

Oh, come on. Larry wouldn't
be caught dead babysitting.

Hey, Lar? Listen, pal, I need
you to do me a favor this afternoon.

Oh? You're too busy to spend
the afternoon with a real cute girl

who doesn't want to be alone?

He's bringing a
bottle of champagne.

Ah.

Cute girl.

Thanks.

Yeah, yeah. You want
some more milk and cookies?

No, thanks. I
think I had enough.

So what do you want to do now?

Throw up.

You sound like my last date.

You date?

Yeah.

What's it like? Dating?

Well, I really don't
think that I should...

Oh, come on. I'm not gonna
be eight forever, you know.

Just tell me what
you do on a date.

Well, okay. Uh, let's see. Uh...

Well, first, I go out to a
place where I can meet girls.

You know, like a church social.

Then, uh, if I see
a young lady I like,

um, I might take her
out for a soda afterwards.

And then... What kind of soda?

Uh, an ice cream soda.

And then... What
kind of ice cream?

Uh, chocolate.

And then... Do you
both have chocolate?

What difference does it make?

Are you gonna let
me tell the story?

All right. Don't
be such a grouch.

All right. Then after the
soda, I walk her home,

we shake hands, and
then we say good night.

That's it? Yeah.

Did you always
strike out like that?

Let's talk about
something else, kid, okay?

Okay.

Where do babies come from?

Hi! I'm back!

Thank God!

Janet, watch out for her.

She's a lot older
than she looks.

Let's see what I've got in here.

It's Cuddles.

Oh, Cuddles! I thought
I'd never find you.

Lookee, lookee,
lookee who I've found!

It's Cuddles, Cuddles, Cuddles!

Jack, that isn't Cuddles.

This is Cuddles. No, it isn't.

Hey! Here's Cuddles!

What are you doing bringing...

Terri, what is that, a mongoose?

We're looking for...

Stop it! None of
these cats is Cuddles.

Now I'll never find him!

How could you get a Pinto?

We're looking for a
cat that looks like this.

Kids.

See that?

Everybody's scared to
death of me around here.

I'm impressed.

Uh, maybe I better go
in and calm 'em down.

All right.

Oh, look, girls,
it's Mr. Furley.

Hi, Mr. Furley. Hi, Mr. Furley.

Why did you kids run into
the kitchen when you saw me?

We got hungry. Well, look...

May I come in?

Oh, look, girls,
it's a strange man.

Hi, strange man.
Hi, strange man.

Kids, this is Mr. Williams,

Bart's new troubleshooter.

How do you do?

He came over here to see
what a good job I'm doing.

Oh, Mr. Furley just
does a wonderful job.

You know, he even got us a
brand-new garbage disposal,

and we didn't even
really need one.

Is that so?

Oh, yes, he got us
so many new things.

Let me see, a new
couch, new curtains...

and a new knife.

What they mean is I'm
always fixing up the old stuff

so it looks like new.

Like this oven here.

It used to take
forever to get hot.

But watch it heat up.

No! No! No!

Uh... we're very
energy conscious here.

I'd like to see if
he really fixed...

Before you see the oven, how
about come seeing the new curtains?

Okay, but I do want
to see that oven.

Sure, anytime, but let's
see the curtains now.

Oh. That was close.

Yeah. Come on out now, kitties.

You've still got
eight lives left.

Let's hide them in
your bedroom, Terri.

Okay. Come here.

Come on, darlings. Come here.

Isn't these really
great curtains?

I mean, that's great fabric

They are not. That's junk.

Look how easy it rips.

Mr. Furley!

I was just trying
to make a point.

Well, my goodness.

Jack! Come here!

Uh, yes, Mr. Furley.

Tell Mr. Williams what
cheap curtains these are.

No, no, no, no,
no. Mr. Furley said

those are the best
curtains money can buy.

Uh-huh.

And I suppose this is the
new couch you mentioned.

Yes, it is, it is.

It looks very expensive to me.

Don't! Aah!

It's gone! What's gone?

The, uh...

the, uh... spare change.

Well, I didn't take it.

See what I have to put up with?

Sure I do,

but that's no excuse for
these unauthorized expenses.

You not gonna look very
good in my report to Bart,

you know that.

Wait a minute. Do you mean that

you're gonna get
someone in trouble

just because he's
doing his job too well?

As a matter of fact, yes.

Well, gee, that isn't fair.

I mean, his generosity
has become a fault?

Something that we should just throw
out the window for monetary gain?

Well, it depends upon... Aah!

Jack! Control yourself!

Mr. Williams,

don't you think that you're being
a little harsh with Mr. Furley here?

Well, you know, you just
may have a point there, Miss.

Sometimes I do get
a little carried away.

All right, Furley,

you're a little too generous,

but I'm sure you'll
work on that, huh?

I will! I will!

Terri, I can't find the cat.

Don't worry. I took care of it.

Let's go, Furley. You
can walk me to my car.

All right.

That's a cat!

It's his.

Come on, Jack. Don't play dumb.

You know the rules.
No pets or else.

No exceptions.

Oh, there you are, Mr. Furley.

Look, I can't watch
your cat anymore.

I gotta get to work.

See ya.

That is your cat?

No, it isn't his
cat. It's Muffit's.

Who?

Muffit.

Well, now who is Muffit?

Well... Did you call me?

That... that's a
child... with more cats.

Yes, well, we got
her these kittens

to cheer her up when
she lost Cuddles there.

But she doesn't
need these anymore.

Yeah, we'll take these right
back to the pound, we promise.

You're all in very big trouble.

I warned you, kids.

You're even in bigger trouble.

Me? Yes.

You're all gonna
be out on the street

if any of you lays a
hand on these cats.

And just to make sure,
they're coming with me.

Aren't you, you sweet,
cute, little bundles of fur?

Nobody's taking you
to the pound. No, sirree.

Don't you worry about a thing.

Come with Daddy.

You're gonna have
din-din at home.

Ahem. Remember, if
Bart hears a word of this,

we're all be out on the street.

But he won't, will
he, my babies?

No. No. It's our secret,

and we're gonna
keep it our secret.

Well, I guess this
belongs to you.

You take good care
of her, you hear?

No, thanks .I thought about it.

I'd rather have a goldfish.
They can't run away.

Bye.

Bye, Muffit.

Well, gosh, guys,

what are we gonna
do with that kitten now?

I guess I could take it.

Oh, would you, Mr. Furley?

Well, somebody has
to make the sacrifice!

But don't get the
wrong idea now.

I'm the only one in the building
who's allowed to have pets.

'Cause I don't have
to answer to nobody.

What?

Patches, you say
you want your dinner?

I'll get it. I'll get it.

No. No, Mr. Furley.

You don't have to
warm up her milk.

Yes, you're welcome,
Mr. Furley. Good-bye.

Honestly.

That is the third time the man
has called in the last half hour.

He's like a new
parent with a baby.

I think it's so sweet.

Oh, not again.

I'll get it this time,
Janet. Thanks, Jack.

Look, girls, I'm off my rocker.

Hello?

What?

She won't let you get near her?

I don't know what to tell you.

Oh, Jack, tell him just
to sit her on his lap.

Janet says to sit
her on your lap.

And then scratch
her behind the ears.

Terri says to scratch
her behind the ears.

And then turn her over
and rub her stomach.

She'll love that.

Terri says to turn her
over and rub her stomach.

She'll love that.

Right. I'll talk to you later.

Bye.

He said thanks. He's
never tried that before.

Wow. Furley has got a
lot to learn about cats.

Who said that was
Furley? That was Larry.

He's got a new girlfriend.

Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, Ca

Three's Company was videotaped
in front of a studio audience.