Three's Company (1976–1984): Season 7, Episode 22 - Borrowing Trouble - full transcript

Janet & Terri walk into a started conversation and hear that someone is going out of business. They assume it is Jack's Bistro. They devise a plan to give Jack money to save what they think is his losing business. Jack buys a leather coat.

[Man] ♪ Come and
knock on our door ♪

[Woman] ♪ Come and
knock on our door ♪

♪ We've been waitin' for you ♪

♪ We've been waitin' for you ♪

[Both] ♪ Where the kisses
are hers and hers and his ♪

♪ Three's company too ♪

♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪
♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪

♪ Take a step that is new ♪
♪ Take a step that is new ♪

♪ We've a loveable space
that needs your face ♪

♪ Three's company too ♪

♪ You'll see that
life is a ball again ♪

♪ Laughter is calling for you ♪

♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪

♪ Three's company too ♪

♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪

♪ Three's company too ♪





Come in, it's open.

Oh, hi, Mr. Angelino.

Tripper, why aren't you ready?

They'll be auctioning off

all the best fixtures
before we get there.

Hurry up!

No, I'm sorry.

I'm just adding up
your monthly profits.

Take all the time you want, son.

God, look at that!

That's more than I've ever made.

Did you remember
to subtract my rent?


You don't really need that rent
this month, do you, Mr. Angelino?


Well, I saw this beautiful
leather coat in a store window...


You're not into
leather, I take it.

You're joking, aren't you?

Yes, I am. I confess.

Well, let me tell
you something, son.

Never, ever joke about money,

especially when it's mine.

Well, it would've
been a great buy.

Arnie's leather shop is
going out of business.

Poor guy. He can't
seem to pay his bills.

"Poor guy?" Don't
feel sorry for him.

He's only getting
what he deserves.

Mr. Angelino, how
can you say that?

It's very simple, Jack.

If you can't afford...

Hi, Jack! Oh, hi, Mr. Angelino.


I am talking.

Excuse us.

As I was saying,
Tripper, if you can't afford

to pay your bills, you
deserve to go out of business.

[Jack] You're not taking
into consideration...

[Angelino] Save your breath!

You're not gonna change my mind!

Boy, I gotta tell you,
you are a hard man.

Thank you.

Let's go.

Wait, Jack. Can
we talk about this?

There isn't any time! Tripper...

Well.. But, Jack!


Do you believe
that Mr. Angelino's

gonna put Jack out of business?

Yeah. Here, let me take this.

But Jack's been late
with the rent before.

Why is Angelino
so tough this time?

I don't know.

Gosh, this is awful!

If Jack needed the money,
why didn't he come to us?

Oh, I do know that.

Because Jack's too darn proud.

Proud of being broke?

One time, when Jack
was in cooking school,

he needed money
real badly for school,

but he wouldn't take it from me.

He said he would never
take money from friends.

Well, then how did he get it?

He sold homemade
cookies door-to-door.

Must've been an
awful lot of cookies.

It was. I gained 20 pounds.

Oh, Janet, we have to help him.

Yeah. Now, how
much is Jack's rent?

It's $800 a month. Oh, wow!

[doorbell rings]

Where are we gonna
get that much money?

I don't know, Terri!

Oh, hi, Mr. Furley! Come on in.

Hi, Janet.

Hi, Mr. Furley. Hi, Terri.

Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi. Hello.


Well, have you got my rent?

Oh, sure, Mr. Furley.
I'll go get it.

Mr. Furley!

Can we talk to you?

I'm kind of a hurry.


Mr. Furley, uh...
We're in big trouble.

Big, big trouble.

Oh, come on now,
girls. It can't be that bad.

We can't give you
the rent money.

It's worse than I thought.

Mr. Furley, we need a
lot of cash right away.

And the $500 rent
money would be a big start.

Well, I'd really like
to help you out, but...

Thank you,
Mr. Furley! Not so fast!

I'd like to know exactly
what you need this money for.

Oh... Um, Mr. Furley,

can you keep a secret?

Can I keep a secret?

I didn't tell anyone about
Mrs. Henderson's wig, did I?

No, you... Mrs.
Henderson wears a wig?

She's as bald as an eagle!

But you didn't hear it from me.

Okay, what gives? Well...

Look, Mr. Furley,

since you've been
so nice about the rent,

I know when you hear
how worried we are,

you're gonna want to
give us even more money.

So, here it is. Stop!

A secret is a secret!

Okay, okay.

Mr. Furley, don't tell Jack
that we need the money,

because that's a
secret too, okay?


Okay. All right.

[indistinct whispering]

Oh! I almost forgot to
tell you my little secret.


If I don't get that rent
by next week, out you go!

We got $500, Terri.

That should hold off
Angelino for a while.

Yeah, but if Jack is too proud

to take the money, then what?

We find a way to
give Jack the money

so he doesn't know it's from us.

How? I don't know.

[doorbell rings] Come in!

[ring] [Both] Come in!

[ring] [Both groan]

This is ridiculous!

♪ Big town dealers
sell used cars ♪

♪ Doo-dah, doo-dah ♪

♪ For the best
deals 'round by far ♪

♪ Oh, doo-dah day ♪

♪ Oh, gonna sell all night ♪

[yelling] Oh, hi, girls!

What's going on?


[shouts] What?

Would you turn that thing off?

Shh! Shh! It's a contest.

I can win money.

Who were the Three Musketeers?

I know! I know!



Larry, Curly and Moe!


Stupid contest.

Only pays 25 bucks anyway.

I know a radio contest
that pays 500 bucks.

Which one?

The one that broadcasts
from your apartment.


And Jack's gonna win it!

You're a genius,
Janet! Thank you!

Come on, Larry. Let's go! Whoo!

Come on, Larry!

What are you waiting for?

Ring! Ring!

Oh, Janet, I had no
idea you were that lonely.

Wait! Wait, wait!

Jack, uh... uh...
Where are you going?

Down to the Beagle.

Oh, well, uh...

Why do you have to
go down to the Beagle?

Just to relax.
I'm kind of tense.

Oh, well, come on over
here and sit down, Jack.

Come on and uh... um...

I'll massage your back.

That's not where I'm tense.

Jack! It's my neck.

The back of my neck,
Janet. What'd you think?

Excuse me, I'm sorry.
Here, sit down here, and I'll...

I'll rub that. Okay.

Okay. All right.
Little elbow grease.

Oh, yeah. Two-handed?

Oh, that feels so nice!

I'm glad.

Janet? Yeah?

You know what else you could do

that'd make me feel soooo good?



Larry, what are you waiting for?

Make the call already!

Not so fast, Terri!

If I'm gonna be a disc jockey,

I gotta warm up first.

Owww! Hey there,
dudes and broods,

this is Loud Larry coming at ya

with the now sounds,
the wild sounds,

the let's-get-on-down sounds.

So, let's get down...
Let's get done!

Maybe he'd rather
have F.M. Larry!

Now, let's mellow out
with the soothing sounds

of K-RST: restful
radio, K-R-[yawns]-S...

Oh, make the call!

I gotta know!

Am I hard rock?

Only from the neck up.



Boy, Janet, that's
not what I had in mind.

I know.

[phone rings]

It's the phone!

I know. Would you
like to answer it?

[ring] Yes! Certainly,
Jack, I'll get that!

Hello? It's for you, Jack!

It's K-L-O-K, K-L-O-K Radio.

They said that you could win $500
just by answering one simple question.

You got all that from "Hello?"

He talks fast.


Jack Triper?

Oh, "Tripper!"

Hey there, hi there, ho there!

This is Bull Man Bob [snorts]

on K-L-O-K Radio, where
we rock around the clock!

Would you get to the question?

Okay, Jack, you can win
Bull Man Bob's big cash prize.

All you gotta do is
answer one question,

and the question is...

What's the question?

Something easy.


In what year did the last Edsel

roll off the assembly line?

He wants to know what
year they made the last Edsel.

[shouts] Are you
out of your mind?

I mean, uh... [twitters]

I mean...

Well, sir, that is a
very difficult question.

Think of your public.

Would you give me that?

Sorry, Jack. I lost my head.

Mr. Bullfrog, I'm very sorry.
She didn't know what she...

I have a friend... Huh?

He's gonna ask me another
question. You're wonderful!

You're wonderful too!

I know.

And now, for the
alternate question.

Ask him something about cooking.

Like what?

What do you put in
a chocolate souffle?

I don't know.

Ask him!

What do you put in
a chocolate souffle?

A cooking question.
It's a cooking question!

He doesn't know
who's he talking to!

Though there are
local variations,

most chocolate souffles

can be prepared with butter,

eggs, sugar, milk, corn starch,

and, you guessed it, chocolate.

I win $500!

[Both screaming]

Terri, I cannot believe it!

They asked me a
cooking question!

Somebody up there likes me.

500 bucks!

Gee, I wonder when
it's gonna get here.

I don't know.

I'll get it!

What? What?

The door.

I didn't hear anything.

Uh, Terri, didn't
you hear the door?

You mean the doorbell?

[Janet] Yeah, that's it!

See, Jack, I'm right here.


Jack Tripper?

Oh, I'll give it to
him. Thanks a lot!


Who was that?

It was a delivery boy
bringing your money.

500 bucks... Look at that!

Oh, it couldn't have
come at a better time.

Is there something special
that you're gonna do with it?

You bet there is. Right now.

Excuse me.

Terri, what do you think
could be keeping Jack?

Would you relax, Janet?

Everything's okay now.

Yeah, right. Right.

It's just that I
can't wait to hear

what Angelino had
to say when Jack

dumped all that
money in his lap.

Whoo! Boom-chicka!



Boom, boom, ow, chicka...

[imitates guitar]]

[Elvis accent] What
do you think, mama?

Where did you get it?

I bought it, with
the money I won.

Jack, you...

You spent all of that
money on a coat?

Well, yeah, I know
it's a little extravagant,

but you only live once, right?

That is once too
often for some people.


You're... You're unbelievable!

Gee, it's a good thing
I didn't buy the hat.

Janet! Terri! Will
you open this...


Talk to me, at least.

Do you want to listen to him?


Why don't we go to the Beagle?

I'd rather be any
place than here. Good.

What is it with you guys?

Thank you.

I'm sorry you
don't like the coat.

It's not the coat.
It's the skunk inside.

I thought it was rabbit.


I hear you came into some money.

Yeah, there was this
radio contest I won, Larry.

You don't say! No.

What did you think of the D.J.?

The D.J.? Not much.

He's just another one of those
loudmouth guys trying to sound cool.

Listen to this.
They gave me 500...

"Trying" to sound cool?

Yeah. You know the type.

"Hey, guys and gals,
get down, get funky!"

Come on. Get serious.

Jack, I'm sure that
D.J. was trying to do

the best damn job he could!

Well, he sounded phony to me.

Oh, yeah? Do you think
you could do any better?

Anybody could.

Larry, this guy was so bad...

All right, let's just
change the subject!

He stunk! Jack, can it, please!

All right.

Anyway, look, Lar.

I took the money and
I went down to Arnie's

and I bought me Mr. Coat.

You blew it all on that? Yeah.

That's shabby, Jack.

Real shabby.

Ralph. Lawrence.

Doesn't anybody like this coat?

I love it!

Boy, those are
my kind of threads!

Oh, my God!

No wonder they hate it.

Who hates it?

The girls.

Oh, I wouldn't pay
much attention to them.

It's hard to be chipper
when you're worried sick.

What? Woops!

Well, I gotta be off!

Wait a minute!
Mr. Furley, wait! Hold on!

What do you mean?

What are the girls
worried sick about?

Uh... uh... It's a secret, Jack,

and when it comes to secrets...

Mr. Furley, come on!

Now, I didn't tell you about
Mrs. Henderson's wig, did I?

No, you... Mrs.
Henderson wears a wig?

She's as bald as an eagle!

Would you never mind that?

What about Janet and Terri?

I'm sorry, Jack.

I promised I wouldn't
tell you they need money.

Oops, again!

They need money?

Not so loud! They'll hear you.

They're not here. They're
down at the Regal Beagle,

probably trying to forget
that they need money,

which I should have given them

instead of blowing it
all on this stupid coat.

No wonder they're so mad at me.

I gotta do something
to help 'em out!

I did my part. I told 'em they
could hold off on the rent.

The rent! That's it!
Thanks, Mr. Furley.

But I gotta have it by...
Yeah, you'll have the rent.

Right. Okay.

Boy, I hope he's home.

Please be there.

Ah, Mr. Angelino!

[drawn out] Hi, this is Jack.

Listen, I'm so sorry to
bother a busy man like you

with such a little
thing like this,

but, um... well, uh...

I won't be able to pay
my rent on time this month.

What do you mean you won't
be able to pay your rent on time?

[indistinct shouting]
Mr. Ange... uh...

Oh, I'm so happy you understand!

I'd love to chat, but
there's a big emergency.

I gotta go to the Beagle
right now. Bye! [slam]


You know, I still
can't believe that

Jack would get himself
into so much trouble.

Jack? Terri, what about us?

We have no money for the rent.

Yeah. God, we've got to
get that money somewhere!

I know. We gotta
get that money fast.

Hi, girls. That'll be three...

Let me pick this up.

Jack, we pay our own way!

My treat, 'cause... Jack!

We wouldn't take money from you
if you were the last man on Earth.

If I were the last man on Earth,

I'd be too busy to give
you money, I'll tell you that.

Jack... Yeah?

Get lost. Here, Dee Dee.

Oh, Janet, look!

Excuse me, I think
you dropped something.

No, this isn't mine.

Huh? Here, Dee Dee.

Could you throw
that away for me?

Sure. Throw it...
Excuse me, Dee Dee!

I'll throw it away for you.
You've got so much to do.

Thank you.

Jack, kind of low, huh?

Yeah, I am, Mike. Fill me up.

I'll take a beer.

And a... pen.

Most people just tell
me their problems.

[indistinct conversation]

Then he thinks he can
buy us off with a drink!


Hi, again.

Jack, I thought we told you...

Janet, say nothing!

Just listen. What?

Now, girls, I can
understand that you're mad

because I've been mad myself.

I don't remember when.

I don't remember how.

I don't remember who or why.

I just remember...

Actually, I don't
even remember that.

I don't remember anything!

What is all this
remembering stuff?

Forget it.

Jack, you are not
making any sense.

Well, you know why?
'Cause my mind is so muddled.

I have this head cold.

Aah! Oh, Jack!

That's embarrassing. Stop that!

I'm so sorry, Janet.
I need a Kleenex.

Do you have one in your purse?

Oh, I think I have one here.

No, I was asking... Here we go.

No, this is all wrinkled
and moist. I don't want that.

Janet, do you have one of...
Janet's are the easier ones.

Jack, honestly,
you're being ridiculous.

Here you go.

I went through that one
quick. I need another.

Do you have another one, Janet?

No, that's the only one I had!

Just look! Would you
look in your purse?

I think I saw one there.

You are just
impossible. It's not there!

It's not in here!
Jack, no! Don't!

Jack! Oh, no!
I'll be right back.

Have I had any
calls, Mike? Nope.

Oh, shoot. I was supposed
to meet Pete and he's late.

Hey! Hey! Oh, excuse me!

Oh, I'm sorry! No, no, no, no!

I just... I'm sorry. I accidentally
dropped this in your purse.

Oh, yeah?

No, could I... "You
don't know me,

but I'm very rich."

Yeah. It's me.

Well, hello.


Hi. Listen, Miss, uh, Miss...

Oh, you can call me Lola.

Miss Lola, I just need
to talk to you a second.

Shh, shh, shh.

"So please take this.

You need it more than I do."

Oh, you don't understand.

You see, the thing
is... How sweet!

You see those two
girls... Oh, my God!

Oh, my God, no,
no. Get a load of this!

No, you see... Oh! Can I...

You angel! No, it's just...


What are you doing with my girl?


Pete! Pete, look!

Where did you get this?

Don't say! Don't say!

He gave it to me. Holy cow.

Wait outside. Thank you.

Not you!

Nice meeting
you. It's a pleasure.

Uh... I never...

And you're not going to either!

Who do you think you are,

giving money to an
innocent young girl?

There's a law against that.

Easy, Big Time.

Keep your money, you pervert!

Jack, for your next
date, I'd suggest flowers

or maybe champagne.

Mr. Furley!

Jack, this really beats all!

Now you just want
to give your money

to the first pretty
woman you see?

That was a woman?

I didn't want to give the
money to a pretty woman,

I wanted to give it you!


We don't want your money, Jack!

Use it to pay your rent!

Now that's a good idea!

You said it!

Hey, that's the rent!

I know.

Well, you can't take that!

Why not?

Well, I can't think of a
good reason why not, but...

Thanks for paying
in cash, Tripper.

That's just the way I like it.

Mr. Angelino, could I
speak to you for just...

Wait! Oh...

Well, I hope you're
satisfied, Jack.

You nearly lost your
business over a dumb coat.

What are you talking about?

I bought that coat with the
money I won from Bull Man Bob.

You mean Bull Man Larry.

"Hey there, hi there,
ho there!" [snorts]

What do mean, Larry?

Well, we faked the
whole contest, Jack,

'cause we knew that
you needed money

and you would
never take it from us.

I didn't need money. You do!


What idiot told you that?

It slipped out.

So you didn't need the
rent for Mr. Angelino?


And you didn't need...

[Janet] No, we didn't.

Then nobody needed money?

I need money! Where's my rent?

Um... We gave it to Jack.

And I used it to buy that coat.

Where's that leave me?
Empty-handed, huh?

Hang on a second, Mr. Furley.

Working together...

Look at this, Mr. Furley!

There's your rent!

You expect me to take
this coat instead of $500?

That's ridiculous!

Hi, Ralphie.

Ooh, you look so
cute in that coat!

Well, thank you.

Mr. Furley, about the rent...

Forget the rent.
I'll take the coat.

Oh, Dee Dee...

[doorbell rings]

It's open!

Still raining?

Jack... No, it's stopped.

Hey, you got a big problem.


I just ran into Furley.
He's madder than hell.

About what?

About the rent. He
says you gypped him.

Oh, that's ridiculous.
We made a fair exchange.

My coat for the rent.
He got a good deal.

Yeah, well, he doesn't think so.

[knocking] Open up!

You know what
Furley's trouble is?

He doesn't know good
quality when he sees it.

Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA

♪♪ [theme]

Three's Company was videotaped

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