Three's Company (1976–1984): Season 7, Episode 21 - Navy Blues - full transcript

An old friend of Jack's from the Navy shows up. Mr. Angelino shows up looking for Jack but Jack is not around. So Angelino tells Jack's friend he wants to bring some people to Jack's bistro and asks him to tell Jack what he wants. But he tells Jack that it's for something else as oppose to what Angelino wants. So when Jack throws a surprise which upsets them, Jack's friend bails him out so Angelino tells Jack to give him a job which is what he is angling for. So Jack and the girls with Larry's help decide to pull the same thing on him. But Larry is unable to make it so Furley has to step in.

[man] ♪ Come and
knock on our door ♪

[woman] ♪ Come and
knock on our door ♪

♪ We've been waitin' for you ♪

♪ We've been waitin' for you ♪

[both] ♪ Where the kisses
are hers and hers and his ♪

♪ Three's company too ♪

♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪
♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪

♪ Take a step that is new ♪
♪ Take a step that is new ♪

♪ We've a loveable space
that needs your face ♪

♪ Three's company too ♪

♪ You'll see that life is a ball
again Laughter is calling for you ♪



♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪

♪ Three's company too ♪

♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪

♪ Three's company too ♪

[banging on door]

Jack! Jack, open the door!

Coming.

Come on, Jack! Hurry up!

[bangs]

Jack!

Yeah! Open the door!

Oh, my... Uhh!

Oh, my new espresso machine!

Isn't it beautiful?



Jack. Yeah?

God, I really appreciate you
girls picking this up for me.

It must weigh a ton. Aah! Jack!

Where do you want us to put it?

Uh, let's see here.

[Whimpers]

Over there. That might be good.

Over here? That'd be perfect.

Just perfect.

Oh!

Don't you think
that'll look nice?

Oh, yeah. Perfect. Hold it!

What do you think
we're doing, you jerk?

Uh... OK, go ahead.

All right.

No, maybe not.

Will you make up your mind?

Well, where do you
think I should put it?

You don't want to know.

Well, if you're gonna
get cranky about it,

why don't you just
put it in the kitchen

till I decide where
it goes. Okay.

Okay. In the kitchen.

Hang on a second.
This would be good.

Forget it! Grrr!
Let's try it here.

1, 2, 3! Oh!

Do you have any idea
how heavy this thing is?

I never realized how
strong you girls were.

What did you put in this?

Dirty dishes. Ha ha ha ha!

[knock on door]

Janet, would you
see who's at the door?

Sure, Jack.

Was it really, really good?

Um, hello.

Oh, hi.

Is there anything
I can do for you?

Well, there sure is, but is it
okay if we take a rain check?

What?

Oh! I'm looking
for Jack Tripper.

Oh! Oh, Jack's
out in the kitchen,

but he's kind of busy. Shh! Shh!

Shh! I got it.

Um... Shh!

Shh! Shh!

Ten-hut!

Ow!

Gotcha!

Bill! Bill Martin!

In person.

I can't believe it!

Look! You haven't changed a bit!

See that? You,
you're still a klutz.

Ow! Ow! Ow!

It's good to see you again.

I know. It's been
years, old buddy!

God, I can't believe it. Can you
believe he'd just show up like this?

No, not in a
million... Who is he?

Who is he? This is Bill Martin.

We were cooks
together in the Navy.

This man is responsible for
making me what I am today.

Ah! So you came
down to apologize?

[all laugh]

Ha ha! Of course, that's Janet.

Who would ever think
that such a little munchkin

could have such a big
sense of humor, huh?

How do you do?

Hello.

And this here is my
other roommate Terri.

Hi, sailor. New in town?

2 gorgeous roommates?
I'm impressed, Jack.

Well, you know,
not really gorgeous.

Terri, don't argue.

All right.

Well, Bill, are you
here on a visit?

Well, actually, I'm
thinking of moving down,

so I thought I'd look
up my old buddy.

Man, I'm glad you did.
You got a place to stay?

No, not yet. Well, you do now.

You're staying at our apartment,

and I won't hear any arguments.

Will I?

Not from these
two gorgeous girls.

Well, hey, thanks.

We got a lot of catching
up to do, old buddy.

Oh, you said it.
Let's go out here.

[overlapping chatter]

Hey, guys? Hey, guys?
Hey! How about us?

I'm sorry. You gotta forgive us.

A couple of old Navy
buddies getting together,

we must seem a little rude.

Oh, that's OK, Bill. We
were just on our way.

Really. Yeah.

Any time Jack starts
talking about the Navy,

Terri and I get
seasick. Ha ha ha ha ha!

See ya. Goodbye.

Sit down, sit down.

Ha ha ha!

Oh, Bill!

You know, I will never forget

the way you breezed
through boot camp.

You know that? You never,
ever had to wait in line.

You never stood watch.

You were always
getting shore leave.

How'd you manage to do that?

Charm, Jack, pure
charm. Yeah, right.

I remember how you charmed
me out of that cute little waitress.

Moi? Ja.

So how come you're
moving to L.A.?

Actually, I'm looking for a job.

Well, that shouldn't be
hard, a good cook like you.

Well, I don't know. I've
been looking 4 months now.

4 months? Yeah.

Listen, Bill. Would
you like to work for me?

Oh, now, look, Jack. I didn't
come here expecting any...

No, no, no. I know that,

but I need a good assistant.

You'd be a great help until
you find something better.

You got yourself a cook.

Working with me, like old times!

I'll say. Great!

This is not bad, Jack.

Where did you get all the
money to buy this place?

Uh, well, I have to confess.

It's not exactly all mine.

It belongs to a guy
named Angelino.

I have to pay him rent
and then part of the profits.

What kind of guy is he?

Who, Angelino?

Well, he's like a, you know,

a good old dog.

You throw him a bone
and he'll leave you alone.

Woof!

Mr. Angelino here.

I got last month's
bone here, Tripper.

A little less meat
on it than I expected.

Well, sir... Who's
he? I'm Bill Martin.

He's my new assistant. We were
in the Navy together, and Bill...

Who cares?

I want to talk to you.

[clears throat]

I think he likes you, Bill.

Some problem
with the rent check?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Nothing
wrong with the rent check.

But where are the profits?

Well, there aren't any
profits this month, sir.

No profits?

Uh, see...

Tripper. Son, what you
need is a little incentive,

and I'm going to give it to you.

Thank you, sir.

If you don't start
making more money,

I'm not going to
renew your lease.

Excuse me, sir. I
couldn't help overhearing

what you said to Jack.

You know, Jack has been
under a lot of pressure.

Are you making excuses for him?

Oh, no, sir. I don't have to.

See, Jack was the best cook
we had at our Naval Base.

Yeah. Navy cooks don't
have to worry about business.

Oh, now, with all
due respect, sir,

you're wrong about that.

When I was handling all the business
at the mess hall, I remember that...

You handled the business?

Yeah. Oh.

I even got a citation.
But I remember...

A citation for what?

Running the most cost-efficient
mess hall on the west coast.

Look. Getting back to Jack...

Cost efficiency! That's
what we need here!

Well, that's why I
offered to help Jack out.

You offered?

I thought he hired you.

Well, if Jack wants
to put it that way.

Look, all I know is,

this place could be a gold mine.

Oh, I agree.

Heh heh! I agree!

Well, I certainly hope
Jack knows how lucky he is

to have a friend like you.

Oh.

Welcome aboard, son. Hmm?

[chuckles]

[whistling a tune]

Oh, hi, Bill. Where's Jack?

Oh, hi, Janet.

Well, he had a
couple errands to run.

Oh. Hey, Bill,

Jack has really enjoyed
having you around this week.

Oh, yeah? Well, how about you?

What about me?

Well, have you enjoyed
having me around?

Oh! Oh, sure! Oh, of course.

Good. 'Cause I enjoyed
being around you.

What?

Well... Oh, Bill,
come on. Ow! Whoo!

Oh, Janet!

Jack.

Listen, I didn't
mean to interrupt.

I can come back
later. Excuse me.

Just don't wear him out. He's got
a lot of hard work to do tomorrow.

You gotta forgive her, Bill.

She hits on all my help.

I don't know what it is.

She's just crazed sometimes.

Oh!

Janet. Janet!

I'm kidding!

Janet! Oh, look at this.

Come on. Would you stop that?

[telephone rings]

Can't you take a...
would you get that for me?

Hey, Janet, believe
me. I'm just joking.

Hello.

Bill?

Billy boy?

Son, this is Mr. Angelino.

I'm down here at the restaurant

and Jack seems to
have closed a little early.

Is he there?

Yeah. Just a minute. Jack.

Janet. Come on, Ja...

I do not speak to
male chauvinist pigs.

Janet.

[pounds]

Can you hang on a minute?

Janet, will you come on?

Janet!

Look, Jack's got his
hands full at the moment.

Can I take a message?

Yeah, yeah. Would you tell him

that some very
good friends of mine,

the Carmichaels, are in town,

and I'm going to be bringing
them here for lunch tomorrow.

Oh, a reunion, huh?
Well, that's nice.

It's no reunion. Actually,
it's a rather sad occasion.

Their Uncle George just died.

We'll be coming to the
restaurant straight from the funeral.

Oh, a funeral.
Well, I understand.

Well, I'll have Jack
prepare a very special lunch.

Well, thank you, sir. I
appreciate the compliment.

Goodbye.

[bangs]

Okay, I give up. I give up.

Relax. Sorry about Janet.

Oh, don't worry about
that. She'll get over it.

Who was on the phone?

Uh, Mr. Angelino.

He's bringing some
friends over to the restaurant

for lunch tomorrow,

and he wants it
to be very special.

What is it? Some sort of party?

Party? Yeah, yeah. I'd say that.

I mean, if you fell
into a million dollars,

wouldn't you celebrate?

A million dollars?

Yeah. It seems their Uncle
George is retiring to Florida

and he's leaving them
the entire business.

Boy, that calls for
a party, all right.

Yeah. Well, they're
seeing him off at the airport

and then coming
over to your restaurant.

Well, if Mr. Angelino
wants a celebration,

that's what we'll
give him, right, Bill?

Anything you say, Jack.

Man, I'll make a great lunch,

and I'll have a few surprises.

It'll be fun!
Mr. Angelino will love it!

I can hardly wait to
see the look on his face.

Neither can I,
Jack. Neither can I.

Here you go. Enjoy your lunch.

Hey, Bill. [Bill] Yeah.

When are they
coming from the airport?

Relax, Jack. Not for
another 15 minutes.

I can't wait!

That funeral took
so much out of me.

Oh, and I'm sure
a nice, quiet lunch

will make you feel much better.

Welcome, welcome, welcome.

Ah, here he is. Jack Tripper,

I'd like you to meet
Mr. and Mrs. Carmichael.

Hi. You're early.

What'd you do, just drop
your uncle off at the gate?

What?

Well, I don't blame you.

There's no sense in
sitting around there,

holding his hand, is there?

Tripper, do you feel all right?

Never better. How
are you feeling?

Would you just
show us to our table?

Right this way.
All laid out for you.

Madam, if you please.

What is this? Oh, you know.

You know. These
go... [brrrrrrrrr]

Oh!

And then you have
one, too, Mr. Angelino.

[mm-mmm-bah]

They can be a little corny,
but they're scads of fun.

You know, double your pleasure.

Look at that. [hmmm-hmmm]

[hm-hm]

[hmm]

Well, now you've got 'em dirty.

Listen, I'll get
your menus, okay?

Enjoy your jellybeans. Hang on.

Look, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm
sure there is some explanation.

It doesn't matter.

Here you are, ma'am.

Is she all right?

It's Uncle George.
She's lost without him.

We all are.

Oh. Well, maybe
you can join him.

What?

He didn't mean that!

Yes, I did. I sure did.

You know, I mean,
I mean, you know,

I've heard it's a lot
of fun down there

if you can stand the heat.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh... oh... Oh!

It was just a thought.

It's all right, it's all right.
Excuse me for living.

[crying]

How's it going?

Terrible! A bunch
of stiffs out there.

[knock on door]

Hi!

You're just in time. Get ready.

Things are gonna liven up now.

Telegram! Telegram
for the Carmichael party!

What?

This'll kill ya.

To some very happy people
on a very special occasion.

♪ Oh, Uncle George
is on his way ♪

♪ Hip, hip, hip hooray ♪

♪ Going down to
where he'll stay ♪

♪ On this happy day ♪

Everybody!

What is going on here?

I've had enough!

Come on, Warren. We are leaving.

Oh, no, no! Marilyn! Warren!

No, please! Please wait!

Tripper... ♪ Oh, happy day ♪

Will you shut up?

Tripper, I think you and
I should have a little talk.

Good, because I have
no idea what's going on.

In the kitchen!

Some people just don't
appreciate real talent!

[growls]

I don't know what's
wrong with your friends.

They act like somebody died.

Somebody did.

Well, that's still no
reason why they c...

C-c-c... What?

They just came from a funeral!

Oh, no. I thought it was
a party, Mr. Angelino.

A party? A party?

Well, I...

Bill is right. You are
under a lot of pressure.

Bill is the one who
told me about it.

Oh, so now you're gonna
start blaming your friend

after he stood up for you?

Oh, you should be
ashamed of yourself!

Ashamed of myself?

Ashamed!

I talked to the Carmichaels.

Everything is fine now.

Oh, that's wonderful!
How did you do it?

Oh, I don't know. I guess I
just have a way with people.

Well, thank God
somebody around here does.

Tripper, I've decided
to renew your lease.

Oh, good.

On one condition.

Condition?

I want you to make
Bill here your partner.

What?

You heard me. No
Bill, no restaurant.

I'll be by your apartment
around 4 with the new lease.

You planned this whole thing.

Jack, look. I know
how this looks.

After Angelino comes over,

I want you to pack your things
and get out of my apartment!

And Angelino said he
won't renew my lease

unless I make Bill my partner.

That's terrible!

Yeah.

Jack, what are you gonna do?

I don't know.

Why couldn't I see
how greedy he was?

I guess I'm just stupid.

That's it.

You don't have to rub it in.

No, no, no. I'm not, Jack.

Greed. Greed is the answer.

What's the question?

A greedy person like Bill is not
gonna settle for being your partner

if he thinks he can
get something better.

I don't understand.

Well, all we have to do is
get somebody to con him

the same way he conned you.

[gasps] That's a
wonderful idea, Janet!

Thanks, Ter. The only thing is,

we gotta get someone
who is sneaky

and underhanded.

Tricky, deceitful,
and conniving.

Larry! Larry! Larry!

[doorbell rings]

Jack! Jack, that's
probably Bill.

Yeah, right. Wait.

You know what you're supposed
to do, so make it look good.

Right, Janet. Relax. I've
got everything under control.

Ooh!

Starting now.

Bill.

Jack, I thought we could
just talk this whole thing over.

Why don't you just get in there and
get your stuff and get out of here, okay?

Well, listen, Jack...

Just pack up and move out!

Who was that?

Shh! Janet, that was Bill.

Oh! What's he doing here?

He could ruin everything!

Shh! I know. I gotta
get him out of here

before that wealthy
investor shows up.

[doorbell rings]

Oh, no! Oh, no!

Shh! Shh!

Mr. Furley!

What are you doing?

Larry got hung
up at the car lot,

so I'm taking over.

You, in this get-up?

Well, Larry said I was
supposed to be rich.

Okay, Mr. Furley.
All right, all right.

Just don't overdo it, okay?

Me? Come on,
give me some credit.

Howdy! I'm Jim Bob Furley.

How do you do? I'm Bill Martin.

Yeah. Bill was just leaving.

Oh, no, not just yet.

I'm Jack's partner.

Why don't you sit down?

All righty.

Uh, well, I'll just
put on some coffee

while you gentlemen
make yourselves at home.

All right. Let's get
right down to business.

I'm looking for someplace to
invest all the money I made in "awl."

"Awl"?

That's right. "Awl."

Well, what?

Oil! Oil!

Oil!

That's right. "Awl."

Uh, Mr. Furley...

You can call me Jim Bob, boy.

Jim Bob, don't you
want to talk about

my opening up a chain of
French restaurants for you?

Chain of...

That's right. Fast food
French restaurants.

Someplace where you
can get a quick escargot

that doesn't come
at a snail's pace.

[laughs]

That's so funny, Mr. Furley.

That is so funny.

Yeah. I know.

Yes, sir, I'll get you
that brandy right away.

Brandy? Oh, right.

I didn't hear you
ask for a brandy.

Son, when you got
the kind of money I do,

you don't have to ask.

Just how much money
do you got, Jim Bob?

I don't know exactly.

The last time I
went into my vault,

it came up to about here.

[laughs]

Where's Jack? In the kitchen.

Thanks!

[Mr. Furley
continues to chuckle]

Angelino's here. I just
saw him parking his car.

Oh, no, he's early.
Terri, you gotta stall him.

How?

You'll think of something.
Just go. Go, go, go, go.

You're right. He's
in there. Ha ha ha!

Mr. Angelino! Hello, Terri.

Don't move!

What?

I lost my, uh, contact lens.

Well, it sounds like
you're well-qualified, Bill,

but I promised Jack.

Oh, now don't get
me wrong, Jim Bob.

I'm not saying I
wouldn't cut him in.

No. I'm sure with the
proper supervision,

he could manage
one of the restaurants.

You got a big heart, boy.

Then it's a deal?

Well, I don't know.

Okay, Jack, that's
your cue. Let's go.

Here you are, Jim
Bob. Ooh, ooh, ooh!

Oh! You clumsy dumbbell!

And you expect to go
into business with me?

Oh, I'm so sorry!

Sorry don't butter
no parsnips, boy!

Bill, the job is all
yours! Excuse me!

Bill, I want you
out of this house.

Mr. Angelino! What are
you doing down there?

Looking for
Terri's contact lens.

Did it! Oops.

Well, boys, I've got the new
lease here, all ready for you to sign.

Anything you say, Mr. A.

Forget it. I'm not
interested anymore.

What do you mean,
you're not interested?

I mean, you can take
your lease and stuff it.

Who do you think
you're talking to?

I don't need you,
you old windbag!

Not when I've got Jim
Bob Furley for a partner.

Jim Bob?

Furley!

Did someone call me?

That's right.

You want to break
the news to him?

Sure. Jack, your
toilet's working again.

Yeah. You hear
that? Your toilet's...

Toilet?

What are you doing?

Have we met?

What do you mean,
"have we met," Jim Bob?

I'm your partner.

You are?

Well, you weren't much help
while I was fixing the toilet.

You're fired!

Oh, you set me up.
You all set me up.

The way you set
me up, old buddy.

Ahem!

I guess you aren't
such a klutz after all.

Well, Jack... ahem!

Son...

I guess we'll only be
needing one signature

on this lease after all, hmm?

Thank you, sir.

But from here on in,

you keep your
trouble-making friends

away from the restaurant.

No, sir. I can't do that.

Tripper!

What are you saying?

Hey, Janet and Terri
may be troublemakers,

but they can come to my
bistro any time they want.

Ha! Ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!

What?

Ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!

Closed-Captioned by J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA

Three's Company was videotaped

in front of a studio audience.