Three's Company (1976–1984): Season 7, Episode 1 - A Night Not to Remember - full transcript
Janet's male friend cannot go on a business date with her and her boss, so she asks Jack. Jack has a cold, and the strong rum drinks make him loopy. In the morning, Jack wakes up in Janet's bed, and he doesn't remember what happened.
[Man] ♪ Come and
knock on our door ♪
[Woman] ♪ Come and
knock on our door ♪
♪ We've been waitin' for you ♪
♪ We've been waitin' for you ♪
[Both] ♪ Where the kisses
are hers and hers and his ♪
♪ Three's company too ♪
♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪
♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪
♪ Take a step that is new ♪
♪ Take a step that is new ♪
♪ We've a loveable space
that needs your face ♪
♪ Three's company too ♪
♪ You'll see that
life is a ball again ♪
♪ Laughter is calling for you ♪
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
♪ Three's company too ♪
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
♪ Three's company too ♪
Well!
I gotta get going.
Oh, I wish
I didn't have to
go to work tonight.
[telephone rings]
And I wish...
I wish I didn't have
to go out tonight, Terri.
I'm so tired, I
could just collapse.
Hello.
Oh, hi, Bob. You
ready for tonight?
Y... Huh?
What?
What do you mean,
you can't? You promised!
Well...
Sure. Yeah.
Well, those things happen.
Yeah.
Oh, sure, I understand.
Okay, bye.
Rat fink.
What's the matter?
Now you can go straight to bed.
No, I can't.
I got to go out with Mr. Hagen.
He's this big boss
from the main office.
He's a real lech.
I thought Bob was your date.
Hm-mm. My bodyguard.
I was gonna try and pass him off
as my cousin from out of town.
Oh. Yeah.
Now I got to go out by myself
with the human octopus.
Gee, there must be
somebody else around
who's nice.
[doorbell rings]
Nice? Terri, at this point,
I would settle for breathing.
Oh, hi!
We were just talking about you.
Well, Jack told me
your bathroom
faucet was leaking.
Oh, no, Mr. Furley.
It's the kitchen faucet.
Oh, well, that's just dandy.
I bought the wrong washer.
They're 12 cents
apiece, you know.
Wait. Janet, didn't you want
to ask Mr. Furley something?
No. No. No.
Janet wants to ask you
something, Mr. Furley.
[whimpering]
Well, he is breathing.
Uh, yeah,
Mr. Furley, I, uh, uh...
Yeah, I suppose you're
all booked up tonight.
Well, it is a Friday night.
You know Ralph Furley.
See? He's not doing anything.
You two have fun.
I'll leave you alone.
Terri! Uh...
Uh... okay.
Mr. Furley,
how would you like to
go out with me tonight
to a very expensive restaurant,
for some wining and some dining,
maybe some dancing?
Expensive?
Won't cost you a cent.
Oh. Well, as I was about to say,
money's no object.
Then you'll go?
Wild horses couldn't
keep me away.
Do they charge for parking?
Mr. Furley, don't
worry about it.
Mr. Hagen will
pay for everything.
Oh, good. Mr. Hagen?
Yeah. He's the other
man we'll be meeting.
There'll be three of us.
Three of us? You mean
you and me and another guy?
Yeah. You see, Mr. Furley...
Oh, I see, all right.
You just want me along
to make this other guy jealous.
J-Jealous?
I know what you're up to.
You want to flaunt
me in front of him.
Ralph Furley, sex object.
Mr. Furley, you
don't understand.
Well, no siree bob.
You're not using me to
break another man's heart.
Hi, Mr. Furley.
Washers don't grow
on trees, you know.
What?
Ah-choo!
Bless you. Oh, brother.
Jack, what are you
doing home so early?
I had to leave work.
I've got this terrible cold.
That's wonderful! What?
Jack, I haven't
got time to explain.
You have to go
on a date with me.
Janet, I'm sick!
Oh, poor Jack.
Jack, please, please?
I only need you for
a couple of hours.
I may not last that long.
Oh, please, Jack!
Please, please...
Okay, okay, I'll go.
But you'll be sorry.
I'll be sitting
there like a twerp...
A very sick twerp.
Oh, Jack... Ah-choo!
Aah!
So... Now, get this...
So the drunk says, "Hey, lady,
I was talking to the duck."
That's very, very...
"I was talking to the duck."
Why don't you,
uh, drink up, Jack?
You're falling behind.
Oh. Are you sure these
are good for my cold?
Hey, would I lie to you?
Jack, you don't look so good.
Maybe we should...
Maybe we should
put him in a taxi
and send him home, huh?
No! No, he's fine.
He... It's just this little
teeny case of the sniffles.
Ah-choo!
See?
Uh, see? Here he is.
There you go, Jack.
Well, anyway, as I
was saying, Mr. Hagen,
last month at the shop,
we were able to
increase our gross
by about... oh, my. Oh,
let's forget all that, Janet.
Come on, now.
A pretty girl like
you should learn
how to mix business
with pleasure.
[coughing]
Right, Jack?
Right, Mr. Pagan.
It's Hagen!
You're the boss, you're
the boss, you're the boss.
Here we go.
One Rum Collins,
and two more Bangkok Bangers.
I just love your
Bangkok Bangers.
Jack, you'd better take it easy.
Those rum drinks
are really potent.
They're just as
impo'tant as your drink.
Would you like to dance?
No, thanks, but why
don't you ask Janet?
I'm sick, Janet.
I told you before.
Janet, what do you say
we trip the light fantastic?
Oh, well, as a matter of fact...
She'd love to. Jack... Aah!
I don't see what's so potent
about these drinks.
♪ Shine on ♪
♪ Shine on harvest moon ♪
♪ Up in the sky ♪
Way up in the sky!
♪ I ain't had no lovin' ♪
Thank you very much
for helping me with my cousin.
Don't mention it. Jack!
Well, uh, thank you
for a very interesting evening.
Yeah, well, it's not over yet.
Right, right. It'll
never be over.
It's just going to live
on in my heart forever.
Good night, and thank you!
What a night. I'm exhausted.
Pleased to meet you. I'm Jack.
Oh, Jack, stop.
Let's dance!
Jack, don't.
Jack, please. Oh,
Jack, you're drunk.
Jack, you are really drunk.
I'm fine, I'm fine.
Jack... Jack...
I can walk away from it. Jack.
I can hardly keep my eyes open.
Go like this.
I am going to bed,
and I think you should
do the exact same thing.
Good night, Jack.
♪ Good night Janet ♪
♪ Good night Janet ♪
♪ Goo... ♪
Wait a minute.
Come here.
Don't push!
Oh, no.
Go around me!
Hyah!
Oh...
Good night, Jack.
Get up! Yaah!
Get up! Jack! Jack. Jack.
I'm blind, Janet! I can't see!
Aah! Jack.
Jack, Jack, Jack.
Good night, Janet.
No, no, no. Jack, Jack,
you are not going to
fall asleep in my bed.
Not with you yelling like that.
Get up. Just get up
and get out of here.
Come on. Get in your...
Oh, Jack, wait a
minute. Be careful.
Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, goodness.
What's that?
It's a family heirloom.
Looks like a vase to me.
It is, silly,
but it's very, very special one.
Huh? It belonged
to my grandmother.
She just sent it to me.
Let me see it.
Oh, no! Forget it.
I'm not gonna go to bed
unless you let me see it!
Jack, please!
Nooo. [whines]
Okay. Okay!
Okay, but you be careful.
It is very delicate.
[sucking]
And it's light. Yeah, it is.
And airy. Whoo!
Oh, no, Jack! No!
Jack, don't do that!
[shattering]
Now look what you've done.
I promise I'll never
touch it again.
Just shut up and go to bed.
I'm gonna shut up
and go to bed, Janet.
[muttering]
Jack, get up!
Get up and get out
of my bed, please!
I'm so tired! Jack!
[moaning]
Never mind, Jack.
I'll just go and
sleep in your room.
No, Janet, don't
leave me! Oh, Jack!
I don't feel hot. I
don't feel too hot.
Jack, please. I
gotta get some rest.
Me too. Will you sing
me a lullabye, please?
Forget it!
Oh, sure, Janet. After I
go out with you tonight
with this terrible
cold, you won't
even sing me a lullabye,
not a teensy-weensy lullabye!
All right, all right, all right!
Oh, good.
Okay, I'll sing
you one lullabye.
Uh... Uh, rock... ♪
Rock-a-bye baby ♪
♪ In the treetop ♪
That's good, Mommy.
♪ When the bough breaks ♪
♪ The cradle will rock ♪
♪ When... uh, the bough breaks ♪
♪ The cradle will fall ♪
♪ And down will come... ♪
Oh, good morning, Janet.
[whispering] Janet!
[gurgles]
[moaning]
[thud]
[yelping]
Oh, golly.
I don't believe him!
Oh, Jack!
[yelps]
Good morning, Janet.
Don't you "Good morning" me!
You... Are you mad
about something?
Ha! You don't remember?
Janet, believe me, I
don't remember a thing
about last night.
My mind is a complete blank.
Sure, Jack, sure.
You just want to pretend
that it never happened?
Pretend what never happened?
You just had to have
your own way, didn't you?
M-m-m-m-m-m-m-my-my-my-my...
My own way?
Look, I might be
old-fashioned, Jack Tripper,
but it meant a lot to me.
It did?
I was saving that for
when I got married!
[slam]
Oh, my God!
Oh, poor Janet!
Poor little Janet.
Hi, Jack.
How'd it go last night?
Terri, it was awful.
Oh, I knew it. You should've
gone straight to bed.
Oh, God.
What's wrong?
Terri... Terri, how
would you feel if
[clears throat] your
roommate went out with you,
got disgustingly drunk,
took advantage of you and
then doesn't even remember?
Why, that doesn't
sound like Janet!
It... No, Terri,
I... [stammering]
Oh, never mind. Just forget it.
Forget the whole thing. Jack!
Hi, Janet. Hello.
You know, I just saw Jack.
He's really feeling miserable.
Good. My curse is working.
What happened last night?
Before or after Jack passed out?
Our Jack?
Terri, he had to
be carried home!
Then, do you know what
he did to top it all off?
Do you know what
he did right here
that I will never
forgive him for?
Oh, Janet, he didn't!
He did! He broke my
grandmother's vase!
Oh, I don't believe it!
A vase?
[doorbell rings]
Oh, hi, Larry.
Hi, Terri. Is Jack up?
No, he's down. Definitely down.
Huh? He's in the kitchen.
Why don't you go see
if you can cheer him up?
I'll try, but I'm not
doing any dishes.
[whistling]
So, how you doing?
Oh, Larry, I feel awful.
What happened?
You're not gonna believe it.
Try me.
Okay.
Last night, I had a
little too much to drink.
No, actually I had a
lot too much to drink,
and I ended up in
bed with... with...
Yeah? Yeah?
I ended up in bed with Janet.
I don't believe it!
Larry, it's true!
Wow.
In my wildest
fantasies, I never...
Will you shut up
and listen to me?
Larry, I don't remember
a thing about last night.
All I know is that I took
advantage of poor little Janet.
That's terrible!
Tell me all about it.
Didn't you hear what I said?
I broke our number
one house rule.
I took advantage of
one of my roommates!
I tell you, I've lost
all respect for myself!
What I did was so
low, so vile, so rotten!
How could I have
ever done such a thing?
Of all people to
end up in bed with!
[Larry] Oh, come on, Jack.
[Jack] I mean,
we're best friends!
I don't understand you, Larry.
How can you even look
at me after what I've done?
[Larry] Hey. Hey, hey, hey.
I don't think any less of you.
Honest, Jack.
I still respect you.
[crash]
What's going on, Mr. Furley?
That's what I'd
like to know. Huh?
On second thought,
I don't want to know!
Wait, Mr. Furley. Our
faucet needs fixing.
That's not all
that needs fixing!
Now hear this!
I'm an easygoing guy.
"Live and let
live," I always say.
What's good for the goose
is nobody else's
business but the gander's.
But sometimes you
gotta draw the line!
Call 'em as you see 'em!
Stand up and be counted!
The buck stops here!
Is that clear?
Now, this wasn't
easy for me to say,
but you two had it coming!
He's right, you know.
Oh, brother.
[knocking]
Jack, I believe this is yours.
What are you doing?
I'm packing.
Where you going?
I don't know yet, but after
what happened last night,
I gotta move out.
Oh, Jack, don't you think
that's taking it just a bit too far?
I don't care.
Jack!
Okay, so I got mad
and I really
yelled at you, but...
Well, honestly, Jack,
it is as much my
fault as it is yours.
You're just saying that.
No, I'm not.
I didn't have to give in.
Then why did you?
I thought it'd be
the quickest way
for me to get to go to sleep.
Janet!
You're taking
this rather lightly!
What do you mean?
Oh, Janet, you've changed!
If you've changed too, I
don't want to know about it.
What is going on?
I don't know! I tell him I forgive
him and he gets mad at me.
Why? "Why?"
Because she talks
like it's nothing
and it's something that
could change all of our lives.
"Change all of our lives"?
Just because you broke
her grandma's vase?
Yes, just because I
broke her grandma's...
Her gran... Her grandma's vase?
Yeah.
What'd you think we
were talking about?
I thought... I thought... uh...
I thought you were
talking about because I-I...
I broke your grandfather's vase.
No! See, it was a...
Oh, Jack, what
difference does it make?
Hey, that's what I say.
What difference does it make?
Que sera, sera.
Well, I gotta shower.
Wait!
What did you really think? Yeah.
What was gonna change
all our lives? Yeah.
It's so ridiculous,
I-I-I... Jack, tell me.
It's too silly.
You'd only laugh.
Come on. I want to know.
Yeah.
Okay, but not in front
of Terri. Come here.
What?
I'll tell you later.
Okay, Jack, now we're
alone. What is so funny?
Well, see... [whispering]
[Janet, yelling] What?
[Jack] Yeow!
[doorbell rings]
Hey, Lar... Ah-choo!
Thank you for
sharing that with me.
Sorry. I'm sorry.
Hey, buddy, you better
take care of that cold.
I will. Larry, I don't have
time to mess around now.
I'm taking Janet and
Terri out to dinner tonight.
Both of them?
Won't Janet be a little jealous?
Jealous?
Yeah, you know, after
what happened between you.
Larry, listen, I gotta tell you.
Nothing happened
between the two of us.
It was just a huge
misunderstanding.
Yeah, but you said that...
Larry! Nothing
happened! Believe me.
Sure, pal, sure.
Anything you say.
Oh, hi, Larry.
Ah-choo! Oh!
I think I caught
your cold, Jack.
Oh, but I forgive you.
Larry, I know what
you're thinking.
I'm not thinking anything.
Hi, Larry. Jack, I'll be out
in just one little second.
Ah-choo!
Larry...
I believe you,
pal. I believe you.
And I idolize you.
Ah-choo!
Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA
♪♪ [theme]
Three's Company was videotaped
in front of a studio audience.
knock on our door ♪
[Woman] ♪ Come and
knock on our door ♪
♪ We've been waitin' for you ♪
♪ We've been waitin' for you ♪
[Both] ♪ Where the kisses
are hers and hers and his ♪
♪ Three's company too ♪
♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪
♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪
♪ Take a step that is new ♪
♪ Take a step that is new ♪
♪ We've a loveable space
that needs your face ♪
♪ Three's company too ♪
♪ You'll see that
life is a ball again ♪
♪ Laughter is calling for you ♪
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
♪ Three's company too ♪
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
♪ Three's company too ♪
Well!
I gotta get going.
Oh, I wish
I didn't have to
go to work tonight.
[telephone rings]
And I wish...
I wish I didn't have
to go out tonight, Terri.
I'm so tired, I
could just collapse.
Hello.
Oh, hi, Bob. You
ready for tonight?
Y... Huh?
What?
What do you mean,
you can't? You promised!
Well...
Sure. Yeah.
Well, those things happen.
Yeah.
Oh, sure, I understand.
Okay, bye.
Rat fink.
What's the matter?
Now you can go straight to bed.
No, I can't.
I got to go out with Mr. Hagen.
He's this big boss
from the main office.
He's a real lech.
I thought Bob was your date.
Hm-mm. My bodyguard.
I was gonna try and pass him off
as my cousin from out of town.
Oh. Yeah.
Now I got to go out by myself
with the human octopus.
Gee, there must be
somebody else around
who's nice.
[doorbell rings]
Nice? Terri, at this point,
I would settle for breathing.
Oh, hi!
We were just talking about you.
Well, Jack told me
your bathroom
faucet was leaking.
Oh, no, Mr. Furley.
It's the kitchen faucet.
Oh, well, that's just dandy.
I bought the wrong washer.
They're 12 cents
apiece, you know.
Wait. Janet, didn't you want
to ask Mr. Furley something?
No. No. No.
Janet wants to ask you
something, Mr. Furley.
[whimpering]
Well, he is breathing.
Uh, yeah,
Mr. Furley, I, uh, uh...
Yeah, I suppose you're
all booked up tonight.
Well, it is a Friday night.
You know Ralph Furley.
See? He's not doing anything.
You two have fun.
I'll leave you alone.
Terri! Uh...
Uh... okay.
Mr. Furley,
how would you like to
go out with me tonight
to a very expensive restaurant,
for some wining and some dining,
maybe some dancing?
Expensive?
Won't cost you a cent.
Oh. Well, as I was about to say,
money's no object.
Then you'll go?
Wild horses couldn't
keep me away.
Do they charge for parking?
Mr. Furley, don't
worry about it.
Mr. Hagen will
pay for everything.
Oh, good. Mr. Hagen?
Yeah. He's the other
man we'll be meeting.
There'll be three of us.
Three of us? You mean
you and me and another guy?
Yeah. You see, Mr. Furley...
Oh, I see, all right.
You just want me along
to make this other guy jealous.
J-Jealous?
I know what you're up to.
You want to flaunt
me in front of him.
Ralph Furley, sex object.
Mr. Furley, you
don't understand.
Well, no siree bob.
You're not using me to
break another man's heart.
Hi, Mr. Furley.
Washers don't grow
on trees, you know.
What?
Ah-choo!
Bless you. Oh, brother.
Jack, what are you
doing home so early?
I had to leave work.
I've got this terrible cold.
That's wonderful! What?
Jack, I haven't
got time to explain.
You have to go
on a date with me.
Janet, I'm sick!
Oh, poor Jack.
Jack, please, please?
I only need you for
a couple of hours.
I may not last that long.
Oh, please, Jack!
Please, please...
Okay, okay, I'll go.
But you'll be sorry.
I'll be sitting
there like a twerp...
A very sick twerp.
Oh, Jack... Ah-choo!
Aah!
So... Now, get this...
So the drunk says, "Hey, lady,
I was talking to the duck."
That's very, very...
"I was talking to the duck."
Why don't you,
uh, drink up, Jack?
You're falling behind.
Oh. Are you sure these
are good for my cold?
Hey, would I lie to you?
Jack, you don't look so good.
Maybe we should...
Maybe we should
put him in a taxi
and send him home, huh?
No! No, he's fine.
He... It's just this little
teeny case of the sniffles.
Ah-choo!
See?
Uh, see? Here he is.
There you go, Jack.
Well, anyway, as I
was saying, Mr. Hagen,
last month at the shop,
we were able to
increase our gross
by about... oh, my. Oh,
let's forget all that, Janet.
Come on, now.
A pretty girl like
you should learn
how to mix business
with pleasure.
[coughing]
Right, Jack?
Right, Mr. Pagan.
It's Hagen!
You're the boss, you're
the boss, you're the boss.
Here we go.
One Rum Collins,
and two more Bangkok Bangers.
I just love your
Bangkok Bangers.
Jack, you'd better take it easy.
Those rum drinks
are really potent.
They're just as
impo'tant as your drink.
Would you like to dance?
No, thanks, but why
don't you ask Janet?
I'm sick, Janet.
I told you before.
Janet, what do you say
we trip the light fantastic?
Oh, well, as a matter of fact...
She'd love to. Jack... Aah!
I don't see what's so potent
about these drinks.
♪ Shine on ♪
♪ Shine on harvest moon ♪
♪ Up in the sky ♪
Way up in the sky!
♪ I ain't had no lovin' ♪
Thank you very much
for helping me with my cousin.
Don't mention it. Jack!
Well, uh, thank you
for a very interesting evening.
Yeah, well, it's not over yet.
Right, right. It'll
never be over.
It's just going to live
on in my heart forever.
Good night, and thank you!
What a night. I'm exhausted.
Pleased to meet you. I'm Jack.
Oh, Jack, stop.
Let's dance!
Jack, don't.
Jack, please. Oh,
Jack, you're drunk.
Jack, you are really drunk.
I'm fine, I'm fine.
Jack... Jack...
I can walk away from it. Jack.
I can hardly keep my eyes open.
Go like this.
I am going to bed,
and I think you should
do the exact same thing.
Good night, Jack.
♪ Good night Janet ♪
♪ Good night Janet ♪
♪ Goo... ♪
Wait a minute.
Come here.
Don't push!
Oh, no.
Go around me!
Hyah!
Oh...
Good night, Jack.
Get up! Yaah!
Get up! Jack! Jack. Jack.
I'm blind, Janet! I can't see!
Aah! Jack.
Jack, Jack, Jack.
Good night, Janet.
No, no, no. Jack, Jack,
you are not going to
fall asleep in my bed.
Not with you yelling like that.
Get up. Just get up
and get out of here.
Come on. Get in your...
Oh, Jack, wait a
minute. Be careful.
Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, goodness.
What's that?
It's a family heirloom.
Looks like a vase to me.
It is, silly,
but it's very, very special one.
Huh? It belonged
to my grandmother.
She just sent it to me.
Let me see it.
Oh, no! Forget it.
I'm not gonna go to bed
unless you let me see it!
Jack, please!
Nooo. [whines]
Okay. Okay!
Okay, but you be careful.
It is very delicate.
[sucking]
And it's light. Yeah, it is.
And airy. Whoo!
Oh, no, Jack! No!
Jack, don't do that!
[shattering]
Now look what you've done.
I promise I'll never
touch it again.
Just shut up and go to bed.
I'm gonna shut up
and go to bed, Janet.
[muttering]
Jack, get up!
Get up and get out
of my bed, please!
I'm so tired! Jack!
[moaning]
Never mind, Jack.
I'll just go and
sleep in your room.
No, Janet, don't
leave me! Oh, Jack!
I don't feel hot. I
don't feel too hot.
Jack, please. I
gotta get some rest.
Me too. Will you sing
me a lullabye, please?
Forget it!
Oh, sure, Janet. After I
go out with you tonight
with this terrible
cold, you won't
even sing me a lullabye,
not a teensy-weensy lullabye!
All right, all right, all right!
Oh, good.
Okay, I'll sing
you one lullabye.
Uh... Uh, rock... ♪
Rock-a-bye baby ♪
♪ In the treetop ♪
That's good, Mommy.
♪ When the bough breaks ♪
♪ The cradle will rock ♪
♪ When... uh, the bough breaks ♪
♪ The cradle will fall ♪
♪ And down will come... ♪
Oh, good morning, Janet.
[whispering] Janet!
[gurgles]
[moaning]
[thud]
[yelping]
Oh, golly.
I don't believe him!
Oh, Jack!
[yelps]
Good morning, Janet.
Don't you "Good morning" me!
You... Are you mad
about something?
Ha! You don't remember?
Janet, believe me, I
don't remember a thing
about last night.
My mind is a complete blank.
Sure, Jack, sure.
You just want to pretend
that it never happened?
Pretend what never happened?
You just had to have
your own way, didn't you?
M-m-m-m-m-m-m-my-my-my-my...
My own way?
Look, I might be
old-fashioned, Jack Tripper,
but it meant a lot to me.
It did?
I was saving that for
when I got married!
[slam]
Oh, my God!
Oh, poor Janet!
Poor little Janet.
Hi, Jack.
How'd it go last night?
Terri, it was awful.
Oh, I knew it. You should've
gone straight to bed.
Oh, God.
What's wrong?
Terri... Terri, how
would you feel if
[clears throat] your
roommate went out with you,
got disgustingly drunk,
took advantage of you and
then doesn't even remember?
Why, that doesn't
sound like Janet!
It... No, Terri,
I... [stammering]
Oh, never mind. Just forget it.
Forget the whole thing. Jack!
Hi, Janet. Hello.
You know, I just saw Jack.
He's really feeling miserable.
Good. My curse is working.
What happened last night?
Before or after Jack passed out?
Our Jack?
Terri, he had to
be carried home!
Then, do you know what
he did to top it all off?
Do you know what
he did right here
that I will never
forgive him for?
Oh, Janet, he didn't!
He did! He broke my
grandmother's vase!
Oh, I don't believe it!
A vase?
[doorbell rings]
Oh, hi, Larry.
Hi, Terri. Is Jack up?
No, he's down. Definitely down.
Huh? He's in the kitchen.
Why don't you go see
if you can cheer him up?
I'll try, but I'm not
doing any dishes.
[whistling]
So, how you doing?
Oh, Larry, I feel awful.
What happened?
You're not gonna believe it.
Try me.
Okay.
Last night, I had a
little too much to drink.
No, actually I had a
lot too much to drink,
and I ended up in
bed with... with...
Yeah? Yeah?
I ended up in bed with Janet.
I don't believe it!
Larry, it's true!
Wow.
In my wildest
fantasies, I never...
Will you shut up
and listen to me?
Larry, I don't remember
a thing about last night.
All I know is that I took
advantage of poor little Janet.
That's terrible!
Tell me all about it.
Didn't you hear what I said?
I broke our number
one house rule.
I took advantage of
one of my roommates!
I tell you, I've lost
all respect for myself!
What I did was so
low, so vile, so rotten!
How could I have
ever done such a thing?
Of all people to
end up in bed with!
[Larry] Oh, come on, Jack.
[Jack] I mean,
we're best friends!
I don't understand you, Larry.
How can you even look
at me after what I've done?
[Larry] Hey. Hey, hey, hey.
I don't think any less of you.
Honest, Jack.
I still respect you.
[crash]
What's going on, Mr. Furley?
That's what I'd
like to know. Huh?
On second thought,
I don't want to know!
Wait, Mr. Furley. Our
faucet needs fixing.
That's not all
that needs fixing!
Now hear this!
I'm an easygoing guy.
"Live and let
live," I always say.
What's good for the goose
is nobody else's
business but the gander's.
But sometimes you
gotta draw the line!
Call 'em as you see 'em!
Stand up and be counted!
The buck stops here!
Is that clear?
Now, this wasn't
easy for me to say,
but you two had it coming!
He's right, you know.
Oh, brother.
[knocking]
Jack, I believe this is yours.
What are you doing?
I'm packing.
Where you going?
I don't know yet, but after
what happened last night,
I gotta move out.
Oh, Jack, don't you think
that's taking it just a bit too far?
I don't care.
Jack!
Okay, so I got mad
and I really
yelled at you, but...
Well, honestly, Jack,
it is as much my
fault as it is yours.
You're just saying that.
No, I'm not.
I didn't have to give in.
Then why did you?
I thought it'd be
the quickest way
for me to get to go to sleep.
Janet!
You're taking
this rather lightly!
What do you mean?
Oh, Janet, you've changed!
If you've changed too, I
don't want to know about it.
What is going on?
I don't know! I tell him I forgive
him and he gets mad at me.
Why? "Why?"
Because she talks
like it's nothing
and it's something that
could change all of our lives.
"Change all of our lives"?
Just because you broke
her grandma's vase?
Yes, just because I
broke her grandma's...
Her gran... Her grandma's vase?
Yeah.
What'd you think we
were talking about?
I thought... I thought... uh...
I thought you were
talking about because I-I...
I broke your grandfather's vase.
No! See, it was a...
Oh, Jack, what
difference does it make?
Hey, that's what I say.
What difference does it make?
Que sera, sera.
Well, I gotta shower.
Wait!
What did you really think? Yeah.
What was gonna change
all our lives? Yeah.
It's so ridiculous,
I-I-I... Jack, tell me.
It's too silly.
You'd only laugh.
Come on. I want to know.
Yeah.
Okay, but not in front
of Terri. Come here.
What?
I'll tell you later.
Okay, Jack, now we're
alone. What is so funny?
Well, see... [whispering]
[Janet, yelling] What?
[Jack] Yeow!
[doorbell rings]
Hey, Lar... Ah-choo!
Thank you for
sharing that with me.
Sorry. I'm sorry.
Hey, buddy, you better
take care of that cold.
I will. Larry, I don't have
time to mess around now.
I'm taking Janet and
Terri out to dinner tonight.
Both of them?
Won't Janet be a little jealous?
Jealous?
Yeah, you know, after
what happened between you.
Larry, listen, I gotta tell you.
Nothing happened
between the two of us.
It was just a huge
misunderstanding.
Yeah, but you said that...
Larry! Nothing
happened! Believe me.
Sure, pal, sure.
Anything you say.
Oh, hi, Larry.
Ah-choo! Oh!
I think I caught
your cold, Jack.
Oh, but I forgive you.
Larry, I know what
you're thinking.
I'm not thinking anything.
Hi, Larry. Jack, I'll be out
in just one little second.
Ah-choo!
Larry...
I believe you,
pal. I believe you.
And I idolize you.
Ah-choo!
Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA
♪♪ [theme]
Three's Company was videotaped
in front of a studio audience.