Three's Company (1976–1984): Season 6, Episode 25 - Up in the Air - full transcript

Janet is interested in a very well to do man and gets invited to a private party on a small island and will be flown there. She asks Jack to go with her but Jacks afraid to fly. He (foolishly) takes a tranquilizer but drinks at the party as well. A drink called "The Rocket". Along with lying about his profession,he later dances up a storm,making himself & Janet look bad.

[man] ♪ Come and
knock on our door ♪

[woman] ♪ Come and
knock on our door ♪

♪ We've been waitin' for you ♪

♪ We've been waitin' for you ♪

[both] ♪ Where the kisses
are hers and hers and his ♪

♪ Three's company too ♪

♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪
♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪

♪ Take a step that is new ♪
♪ Take a step that is new ♪

♪ We've a loveable space
that needs your face ♪

♪ Three's company too ♪

♪ You'll see that life is a ball
again Laughter is calling for you ♪

♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪

♪ Three's company too ♪

♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪

♪ Three's company too ♪

Hi, Terri. Hmm.

Boy, I'm glad to be home.

God, what a lousy day I had.

That's nice.

Terri! What?

Oh, Jack, I'm sorry.

This book is just so
good I can't put it down.

What is it?

Hold Fast My Heart?

It's all about this Jesuit
priest, Father Lance,

who gives up true love to
work among the down-and-out.

"The human refuse cast upon

"the shores of society."

Ooh, I can't wait
to see the movie!

Hi, Janet.

Did you have a nice day?

Oh, great. Just terrific.

If I felt any better, I'd go
throw myself under a truck.

What happened?

David. David?

The dreamboat you met
at the flower shop? Yeah.

The guy who let you drive his
Ferrari? The one you flipped over?

That's the bum.

What happened? I'll tell
you what happened, Terri.

He waltzes in to the flower shop
today and he says to me, "Janet,

"I'm having a very formal
party at my weekend home

and I'm hoping you can come."

So what's the problem?
He told me to bring a date.


What do you think I should do
about this? I really like this guy.

Show up with a date. What?

You know, make him jealous.

Jealous? Oh...

That is so childish,
so immature and naive.

I like that.

Now, be sure and invite
someone who's really

sexy and gorgeous. Yeah?
Do you know anybody?

Oh, hi, Janet.


Wait a minute. What
about Cheetah here?

Well... it's better
than nothing.


Maybe he'll do. Do what?

I mean he... He's
not bad-looking.

Not bad-looking?


Nice smile.

Good teeth.

You know, once we got him into a
tux... And if he stood up straight...

Wait a minute.

Then he wouldn't
be half-bad. Yeah!

Would somebody mind
telling me what's going on here?

I've been invited to
this really formal party

on Saturday night, and I
want you to be my date.

Oh, Janet, after all these
years you've finally come around.


Easy, Jack. I just need you as
a decoy for David. Who's David?

A guy Janet likes. She's only
inviting you to make him jealous.

Oh, I feel so used.

Oh, nice try, Janet.

Oh, no, wait a minute.

Jack, please! Forget it.

No. Come here. Listen.

This is very important to me.

Hey. I'd help you out if
you needed me for anything.

You would? Of course I would.

Let me tell you what
I need you for. Okay.

Oh, Jack!

Oh, please do this for
me. Please. Oh, please!

Okay, I will. I'd be
happy to go. Thank you!

It's really going to
be a wonderful party.

We're even getting taken
there in a private plane.

A pri-pri-private plane? You
mean, we're going to fly there?

Yeah. In a single-engine plane.

[falsetto voice] A
single-engine plane? Uh-huh.

David's weekend
home is on a little island.

So the guests have to
be flown over. Flown over?

I really am going to have to
find something wonderful to wear.

We'll figure it out. Will
you go shopping with me?

Of course. I'd love
to. Yeah? Oh, gosh.

[high-pitched voice]
Jack, isn't this exciting?

[falsetto voice] I
can hardly wait.

[doorbell ringing]

Hi, Jack-o. Larry, come on in.

Larry, listen to me.

How would you like to take Janet
to a great formal party this Saturday?

Gee, buddy, I'm sorry
but I have other plans.

Well, I'd love to do it but I can't
because I don't have a tuxedo.

You can rent one.

If you don't have
anything helpful to say,

shut your mouth!

Testy, testy.

I got a real problem.

The party's on this island,

and they're flying us over
there in this little plane

with only one engine.

Wow, how exciting!

Those fly so low you feel you can
reach down and touch the water.

Oh, Lordy, Lordy...

You're not afraid
to fly, are you?

[whispering] Yes.
You're kidding?


You mean, you've
never flown before?


Oh, well, that explains it.

Look, Jack, this fear,
it's all in your head.

And we're gonna do
something about it right now.

Come on. Sit down. Why?

Because sitting in a plane is
just like sitting in your living room.


Doesn't scare you,
does it? Of course not.

Good. Now we'll
start the engine.

pa-chooka, pa-chooka..."

That doesn't scare you, does
it? No, it's just a little noise.

That a boy. Now we'll
taxi down the runway.


It's bumpy but that
doesn't scare you, does it?

No, it's just like ridin'
in one of your used cars.

You're okay. Now,
faster and faster and then

smooth... No more bumps.

Isn't that great? Yeah.
When do we take off?

You just did. You're flying.

[screaming] No!

You just bailed
out at 4,000 feet.

Come on, sit down. You're not
getting me up in that thing again!

Calm down, big guy. [whimpering]


[whimpering continues]

I get the feeling you're
not entirely cured.

I don't know what I'm going to do. Janet's
depending on me to take her to this party.

Oh, wow. Huh... I
have something for you.

What? Tranquilizers.

Tranquilizers? Yeah,
they'll calm you down.

Where'd you get those?

From my doctor. Who needs tranquilizers
more than a used-car salesman?

Your customers.

I'll bring 'em right
down. Thanks, Larry.

Hi, Larry. Bye, Larry.

Where's he going? Huh?

He's going to get
me a tranquilizer.

I'm a little nervous about
this flight, but don't tell Janet.

Hold it. Have you ever taken
a tranquilizer before? No.

Don't. You don't know what
kind of an effect it could have.

And never take any medication
unless a doctor prescribes it.

It's okay, 'cause Larry... Jack!

Promise me you
won't take one! Terry...

Jack, promise!

Jack... promise. All right.

I promise I won't take one.

Aw, that's a good boy.


I'll take two.

♪♪ [piano]

David, I was just telling
your sister, Nancy,

this is a lovely
party. Thank you.

Oh, there they...
Excuse me. Excuse us.

[doorbell chiming]

Good evening.

Certainly is.

Will you get a load
of this dump. Whoo!

You sure are
mellow tonight. Yeah.

[slurring] Musta been
that "cranquilizer."


Tranquilizer? Did
you take a tranquilizer?

Yeah, wasn't that
plane ride fun?

Champagne? Thank you very much.

Oh, no. None for him, thank you.

Maid to order.

Jack, listen.

Tranquilizers and liquor
do not mix, okay? Okay.

You look much taller
than you do at home.

Janet, look at this crowd. You
can almost smell the money.


Maybe I could invite
some of them to Angelino's.

Oh, no, no, no, no. Don't tell
anybody you're a chef, okay?

Okay. Mum's the word.

Well, it's not that there's
anything wrong with what you do.

It's just that, well, everybody
here looks so important,

and we want to make
a good impression.

So, well, you
understand, don't you?

Of course, pumpkin. Oh, thanks.

You're ashamed of me.

Janet! I'm so glad
you could make it.

Oh, thank you. [chuckling]

Oh, this is...

Jack wanted us to go down
to Acapulco for the weekend,

but I persuaded him
to come here instead.

Uh, this is Jack Tripper.

The Jack Tripper.

Oh, how do you do? I'm David
Winthrop and this is Nancy. Nancy is...

Very beautiful. How do you do?

Jack, you are supposed
to be with me, remember?

I don't want you to make
David mad, just a little jealous.

You think you can
do that? I can do that.

[whispering] Let's go.

Oh, Janet, Janet, Janet.
You really are something.

Isn't she something?
Excuse us. [gasps]

Sometimes he just
can't help himself.

Looks like he just did.

That was good.
"Looks like he..." [gasps]

I'd like you to meet some
people. Of course, David.

Jack. Right with you.

Thank you very much.

Thank you very much.
Janet... meet Mark and Robert.

Hello. Mark's in banking and
Robert's an investment counselor.

Oh, how nice.

Didn't we just meet?

Excuse me. Some
more guests. Of course.

Actually, we were just
discussing tennis. Do you play?

Me? Yeah.

No, I don't play tennis.

No, I don't get much chance to
play, not in the line of work I do.

Right, Janet? Yes, right, Jack.

Oh, what is your line of work?


Oh, nothing special.

I'm a Jesuit priest.

Of course.

Well, I think I need
a drink. Me too.

Nice to meet you. Jack!


Is this your first time
on the Love Boat?

Did you see... What?
I'm going to kill you.

Why? I didn't say I was a chef. You
didn't have to say you were a priest!

Well, are you two having fun?

Fun? Why, of course. We always
have fun when we're together.

♪ And we'll have fun,
fun, fun till her da... ♪

Hey, you don't have
a drink. No, I can't.


No. Brain surgeon.

I have surgery tomorrow at 5 a.m.
and I wanna keep these hands steady.


Uh, David, would you show
me the rest of your house?

I'd love to. Thank you.

You know, I do most of my
work among the down-and-out.

Oh, my.

This is really pretty.

And, um, Nancy
is certainly pretty.

Well, I may be prejudiced,
but I think she's beautiful.

I should be getting
back to Jack.

Why? You just left him.

Yes, but he, uh...

Well, he's just insanely jealous
whenever I'm out of his sight.

Hi. How yoa doin'?

Oh, hi.

I'm doin' much better
now that you're here.

I'll tell ya. Jack!

Did you miss me, honey?


Isn't that cute? "When?"

He's so cute. Excuse me.

See you later.

[whistles] Jack!

Up! Oh, thank
you, Janet. I'm so...

Hello. Hi again.

You must be so
proud of your man.

So young to be a congressman.

Oh, well...

Well, I feel America's
in a transition now...

Now, listen, congressman.

You do one more thing tonight to embarrass
me and I will never speak to you again!

Does that mean you won't
vote for me? Oh, Jack!

Just please try
to behave! Janet!

Jack, be quiet!

Oh, God.

Say, what's the matter, Father?

Just a little groggy, my
son. Nothing to worry about.

Here, try some of this then.

Oh, no, no. No alcohol.

No way. This is my
own special pick-me-up.

I call it "the rocket."

The-the rocket?

Yeah, one sip of
this and you blast off.

I don't think I should.

Come on. You wanna
wake up, don't ya? Go ahead.


Okay, maybe just a sip.

There you go.

Thank you.

Thank you. Did nothing for me.

Pfew. Rocket.


[indistinct] Huh?

Well, not now. Maybe
some for later, you know.

Why don't I take
this? ♪♪ [pop music]

They're on the house!

Ooh, they're on the floor!

Jack! Janet!

Jack! My love!

Jack, have you seen the patio?

Why? Is someone missing?


Jack. Jack.

Jack. Please don't do that.

Please don't. Don't do that.

Jack. Jack, stop it!

Jack. What are you
doing? I'm gettin' down!

Come here, baby! [screaming]

Jack, please stop.

Work with me,
Janet. No! Stop it!

I can't. I got the music in
me. Strut with me, mama!

Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.

Kitty, kitty, kitty.


♪♪ [piano keys tinkling]

♪♪ [Broadway musical beat]

♪♪ [drum beating]

[music stops]

♪♪ [maracas]

♪♪ [piano, jazz beat]

♪♪ [Broadway musical beat]

♪♪ ["Top Hat,
White Tie and Tails"]

[music stops]



Would you care to dance?

Do you think Nancy would mind?

Why would my sister mind?

Your sister?
Nancy's your sister?

Didn't I tell you she was my
sister when I introduced you?

No. Oh, that's right.

Your boyfriend wouldn't
give me a chance.

I don't have a boyfriend.

Mind if I join you?

Thanks. After what
I've done to this party,

I'm so ashamed.

Oh, don't be silly.

You're like a
breath of fresh air.

My brother's parties are
always so full of phonies.

Your brother?
David's your brother?

Yeah. I thought you knew.

Me? No.

Well, listen, never
mind. Let's talk about you.

Well, I'm just a
home-ec teacher.

You're kidding? I'm a chef! No!

Yeah. We have a lot in common.
We ought to get to know one another.

I'd like that. Dr. Tripper.

You have surgery in
the morning. Doctor?

Man's a brain surgeon.

Well, I must be
getting back to Janet.

Doctor? That's easy
to explain. You see...

Congressman, I
wanted to ask you...

That's not so easy.

You just told me
you were a chef. I am.

I think you'd say anything to get
what you want! No, Nancy, come on...

I really am a chef!

How do you fit that in with
all your congressional work?

[sighs] Hey, Nancy, hi.

Hi. Have you been
talking to Jack?

Oh, you mean Jack of all trades?

Uh-oh. Yeah. And he just
told me that he's a chef.

Well, uh...

Um... That's
because he is a chef.




Hey, wait. Where are you going?

Oh, back to the chef.
We're gonna cook.


Oh, Nancy. Hi.

Oh, Janet just told me
that you really are a chef.

I can't tell you how
sorry I am. Really?

Yeah. Why don't we just forget
the whole thing? Let's do that.

Oh, good. You know what?


I got an idea. Why don't we take
a nice long walk along the beach

and just look at the
stars, just the two of us?

Okay. Sit on the sand
and listen to the wa...

Jack? [snoring]



[sighs, chuckles]

Oh, Janet. Oh, I must
have fallen asleep.

Tell me. How was the
party? It was wonderful.

David's date turned
out to be his sister.

His sister? That's terrific!

I know. [chuckling]
Where's Jack?

Jack? [gasps] Oh! Oh! I forgot.

Please come with me.

I can't believe this.
I forgot. Come on.

Jack! Jack.

[Janet] Come on,
Jack. Jack, walk. Please.

Walk. Come on.

Jack, wake up.

Oh! Oh! [stammering]

What? What?

What time is it?

It's 4:30. Oh, my God!

Jack, where are you going?

I've got brain surgery at five!

[Theme song]

[Janet] Three's Company is
videotaped in front of a studio audience.

Closed-Captioned By JR
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA