Three's Company (1976–1984): Season 6, Episode 24 - Janet Wigs Out - full transcript

[MAN] ♪ COME AND
KNOCK ON OUR DOOR ♪

[WOMAN] ♪ COME AND
KNOCK ON OUR DOOR ♪

♪ WE'VE BEEN WAITIN' FOR YOU ♪

♪ WE'VE BEEN WAITIN' FOR YOU ♪

[BOTH] ♪ WHERE THE KISSES
ARE HERS AND HERS AND HIS ♪

♪ THREE'S COMPANY TOO ♪

♪ COME AND DANCE ON OUR FLOOR ♪
♪ COME AND DANCE ON OUR FLOOR ♪

♪ TAKE A STEP THAT IS NEW ♪
♪ TAKE A STEP THAT IS NEW ♪

♪ WE'VE A LOVEABLE SPACE
THAT NEEDS YOUR FACE ♪

♪ THREE'S COMPANY TOO ♪

♪ YOU'LL SEE THAT LIFE IS A BALL
AGAIN LAUGHTER IS CALLING FOR YOU ♪



♪ DOWN AT OUR RENDEZVOUS ♪
♪ DOWN AT OUR RENDEZVOUS ♪

♪ THREE'S COMPANY TOO ♪

♪ DOWN AT OUR RENDEZVOUS ♪
♪ DOWN AT OUR RENDEZVOUS ♪

♪ THREE'S COMPANY TOO ♪

JACK!

YEAH?

CAN YOU GIVE ME A HAND?

YOU SAY IT, BUT
YOU DON'T MEAN IT.

COME ON, JACK.

MY HANDS ARE FULL. HEY,
HEY, WHERE DID YOU GET THIS?

WOW. AT A GARAGE
SALE. IT ONLY COST ME $10.

TEN BUCKS? YEAH.

WHY WOULD ANYBODY SELL A GREAT
CHAIR LIKE THIS FOR TEN BUCKS?

I DON'T KNOW. GOD.



TERRI, COULD YOU GET ME
UP OUT OF THIS, PLEASE? OHH.

[GRUNTS] LOOK AT THAT. NOW
THERE'S $10 RIGHT DOWN THE DRAIN.

NOT TO WORRY, TERRI. THIS THING WILL
BE AS GOOD AS NEW WITH ATOMIC GLUE.

HANG ON. OH, YEAH?

THANKS, JACK.

HI, TERRI. HI, CYN. DID
YOU HAVE FUN SHOPPING?

WE SURE DID. WAIT TILL
YOU SEE. HOLD THIS. [GRUNTS]

JACK! JACK, COME
HERE, QUICK! WHAT IS IT?

JACK, YOU'RE NEVER
GONNA BELIEVE THIS.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
I WANT YOU ALL TO MEET

THE NEW JANET WOOD!

♪♪ [HUMMING TRIUMPHANT MUSIC]

JANET, WILL YOU COME IN, PLEASE?

[CINDY] HOW 'BOUT THAT?

[LAUGHS]

OH, MY GOD.

WOW!

WHAT DO YOU THINK?
[JACK] I DON'T KNOW.

WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL.
WHO IS THIS BLONDE BOMBSHELL?

IT'S JANET. SHE'S WEARING A WIG.

WELL, IT'S A WHOLE NEW JANET!

YEAH! TALK TO ME, MAMA!

[GRUNTS] YOU KNOW, YOU'RE
A LOT LIKE THE OLD JANET.

YOU THINK IT'S TOO MUCH?

NO. BUT WHAT MADE YOU
SUDDENLY DECIDE TO BUY A WIG?

I DON'T KNOW, TERRI. IT
JUST SEEMED LIKE FUN.

AND THEN IT SEEMED REAL PRACTICAL,
LIKE IF I GET A LAST-MINUTE DATE,

I WON'T HAVE TO WASH
MY HAIR ANYMORE.

I'LL JUST PUT ON MY WIG. THEN HOW
COME YOU BOUGHT A BLONDE WIG?

WELL, IT JUST SEEMED LIKE IT'D
BE NICE FOR A CHANGE. [LAUGHS]

I'M LATE FOR MY BIOLOGY
CLASS. I HAVE A DATE WITH A FROG.

AND YOU WERE AFRAID SHE WOULDN'T
MAKE ANY NEW FRIENDS AT SCHOOL.

BYE. HOP TO IT,
CINDY. HOP TO IT.

SEE YA LATER. I'M GONNA
JUMP IN THE SHOWER.

CAN'T IT WAIT? I INVITED OUR NEW
NEIGHBOR UP FOR A GLASS OF VINO.

THAT GORGEOUS GUY IN 302?

WELL, YEAH, IF YOU LIKE
THAT SORT OF THING. OH.

WE DO, WE DO. HE SAID HE
WAS DYING TO MEET YOU GIRLS.

[BOTH] HE DID? AFTER I TOLD HIM
HOW HARD UP YOU WERE FOR DATES.

OH, JACK! [DOORBELL CHIMES]

HANG ON. SHH. THIS MIGHT
BE MR. RIGHT. OKAY, OKAY.

JACK, WHAT'S THE EMERGENCY? HUH?

CINDY TOLD ME THERE WAS SOMETHING
UP HERE I OUGHT TO SEE RIGHT AWAY.

OH, THERE IS. COME
IN, MR. FURLEY. COME IN.

[GIGGLING] WELL, MR. FURLEY?

WELL, WOULD YOU
GET A LOAD OF THAT!

JUST LOOK AT THAT CRACK.

MR. FURLEY. I'LL
TAKE CARE OF THAT.

I'VE GOT AN OLD PICTURE OF ME ON A
PONY. IT'LL JUST ABOUT COVER THAT.

NO... YOU'LL LOVE IT.

I HAD THIS BUSTER BROWN HAIRCUT
AND A LITTLE HAT WITH EARFLAPS.

MR. FURLEY... I WAS SO
CUTE. THE PONY WASN'T MUCH.

I'LL GET IT. MR. FURLEY.
MR. FURLEY.

OH... WELL, HE
DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE.

[KNOCKING] OPEN UP. IT'S ME.

JANET. YES?

I DON'T KNOW WHERE MY HEAD WAS.

BEAUTIFUL. THANK YOU.

THOSE GERANIUMS YOU GAVE
ME YESTERDAY... BEAUTIFUL.

THANKS. YOU'RE WELCOME.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

WELL, SO MUCH FOR MY WIG.
MR. FURLEY DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE.

[DOORBELL CHIMES] JANET, THE
MAN NEVER NOTICES ANYTHING.

BILL! COME ON IN. GIRLS!

THIS HERE IS BILL ROGERS.
THIS IS JANET. HELLO.

AND TERRI. HI.

I TOLD YOU ABOUT THEM.
BUT, JACK, YOU LIED TO ME.

THEY'RE NOT HOMELY AT ALL.

JUST KIDDING, JACK. YEAH, WELL,
TELL THEM THAT. I'LL GET THE WINE.

AND I'LL GET THE CHEESE AND
CRACKERS. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

OKAY. ACTUALLY, JACK COULDN'T
STOP RAVING ABOUT YOU.

OH, REALLY? HE
SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT.

I DON'T THINK HE SAID
ENOUGH. [LAUGHS, STAMMERS]

WOULD YOU LIKE TO SIT
DOWN? I'D RATHER TAKE A WALK.

WHAT? WITH YOU. I WAS GONNA GO
DOWN TO THE NEW SHOPPING MALL.

WANNA COME ALONG?
OH, I'D LOVE TO.

GREAT. MAYBE AFTERWARD
WE COULD GET A BITE TO EAT.

OH, FINE.

WELL, I HOPE YOU DON'T
MIND, BUT I'D LIKE TO

STEAL JANET FOR THE
REST OF THE AFTERNOON.

I DON'T MIND. NO, SURE,
GO AHEAD. HAVE FUN.

WHAT ARE WE WAITING
FOR? COME ON. OKAY.

SEE YOU GUYS LATER.

BOY, THAT WAS FAST. YEAH.

I GUESS IT'S TRUE WHAT THEY
SAY... BLONDES HAVE MORE FUN.

SO HOW COME I GET
STUCK WITH YOU?

WELL, I'M OFF TO WORK. BYE.

HEY, THAT IS LOOKING
GOOD. THANKS.

AND IT'S NEVER GONNA
COME APART AGAIN. WHY?

BECAUSE I'M USING NEW
IMPROVED ATOMIC GLUE.

JACK, HAVE YOU NOTICED THAT JANET'S BEEN
WEARING THAT WIG FOR THE PAST FOUR DAYS?

OH, YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT. SHE EVEN WORE
IT YESTERDAY WITH ME IN THE SHOWER.

YEAH... WE WERE
SCRUBBING THE TILE.

NO, SERIOUSLY, JACK. I THINK
SHE'S HOOKED ON THAT WIG.

OH, NO, IT'S JUST A NOVELTY
FOR HER. IT'LL WEAR OFF.

WHAT IF IT DOESN'T?
[JANET] HI, GUYS. I'M HOME.

YOU WANT ME TO TALK TO HER? YES, BUT
DON'T LET HER THINK THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG.

JUST BE SUBTLE. GOT YA.

ALL RIGHT. REMEMBER.

HI, JANET. HOW WAS
WORK? HI. IT WAS GREAT.

OH, GOOD, GOOD.

TERRI WANTS TO KNOW WHY YOU'RE
WEARING THAT WIG ALL THE TIME?

JACK! TOO SUBTLE?

WOULD YOU JUST GO IN THERE AND
FIX THAT CHAIR! I'M FIXING IT. EXCUSE ME.

YOU GUYS DON'T LIKE MY WIG?
OF COURSE WE LOVE YOUR WIG.

WE DO. IT'S JUST THAT, UM, WELL,

YOU'VE BEEN WEARING IT EVERY
SINGLE DAY SINCE YOU BOUGHT IT.

IT'S FUN BEING BLONDE. GUYS
ARE ASKING ME OUT A LOT.

AND DOWN AT THE SHOP, EVERYBODY'S
GIVING ME COMPLIMENTS ON IT.

TERRI, WHAT'S WRONG WITH
THAT? NOTHING'S WRONG WITH THAT.

I JUST DON'T WANT YOU TO BECOME
DEPENDENT ON IT. KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

TERRI, I'M NOT GONNA
BECOME DEPENDENT ON IT.

IN FACT, I'M GONNA TAKE IT
OFF RIGHT NOW. OH, GOOD.

TERRI, COULD YOU
BRUSH THAT OUT FOR ME?

BILL'S GONNA BE HERE ANY MINUTE.

[PHONE RINGING]

HELLO. JUST ONE SECOND, PLEASE.

JACK, IT'S FOR YOU. TELL 'EM
TO HOLD ON. I'M STUCK IN HERE.

HE'LL BE RIGHT THERE. ALL RIGHT.
TERRI, COULD YOU GIVE ME A HAND?

YEAH. UM, LISTEN. [STAMMERS]

JUST HOLD ON A SECOND. THANK YOU
VERY MUCH. JACK, HURRY UP, OKAY?

PLEASE! ALL RIGHT!

I'M TRYING TO GET THIS GLUE OFF MY HANDS!
TERRI, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BUY PAPER TOWELS!

[SHOUTING] WHO IS IT?

DEBBIE? JUST A SECOND. I'LL
SEE IF I CAN FIND HIM. TRIPPER!

[SOFTLY] HELLO, DEBBIE.

HI. OH, IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU.

LISTEN.

FRIDAY? OF COURSE. ARE YOU
KIDDING ME? I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN.

WELL, I'LL BE COUNTING
THE HOURS TOO, HON.

I'LL SEE YOU THEN. BYE.

ALL RIGHT!

I REALLY HAVE TO
GO TO WORK, OKAY?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING,
JACK? IT'S STUCK.

OH, YOU'RE KIDDING? NO, I
WAS GLUING THE CHAIR AND...

TERRI, BEFORE YOU GO, WOULD
YOU JUST BRING ME IN MY WIG?

TERRI... JACK WILL HELP YOU
OUT. I REALLY HAVE TO GO.

TERRI, WHAT AM I GONNA DO...

TERRI, WHAT AM I
GONNA DO? STICK WITH IT.

BUT, TERRI, I JUST WANTED TO
ASK YOU IF YOU THOUGHT... TERRI?

JACK? HMM?

HAVE YOU SEEN MY
WIG? WIG? WHAT WIG?

YOU KNOW VERY WELL WHAT WIG?
COME ON. I GAVE IT TO TERRI TO...

JACK TRIPPER, ARE YOU PLAYING
GAMES WITH ME? DID YOU HIDE MY WIG?

WHAT AN AWFUL THING
TO SAY TO ME, JANET.

OF COURSE I DIDN'T
HIDE YOUR WIG.

HONEST. WORD OF HONOR. [GASPS]

GIVE ME THAT. I CAN'T.

JACK, LET GO. STOP
PLAYING GAMES. LET GO!

JANET, I CAN'T. IT'S GLUED
TO MY HAND. IT'S WHAT?

LOOK.

WHAT? [SCREAMING]

OH, JACK! OH, OH, OH! BILL'S
GONNA BE HERE ANY MINUTE.

I CAN'T LET HIM SEE ME LIKE
THIS! THERE'S NO PROBLEM.

I'LL BE RIGHT WITH YOU. WHAT...

COME ON. I GOTTA GET SOME
SCISSORS. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WHAT DO YOU THINK? I'M GONNA
CUT OFF YOUR FINGERS. NO!

[DOORBELL CHIMES]

OH, JACK, THAT'S HIM! DO
SOMETHING! DO SOMETHING! ALL RIGHT.

OH, NO, NO! WAIT, WAIT!
DON'T LET HIM IN, JACK.

SAY I'M SICK. SEND HIM
AWAY. I'M SICK, I'M SICK.

[SINGSONGY] JUST A MINUTE.

JANET, WHY DON'T YOU LET
HIM SEE YOU'RE A BRUNETTE?

BECAUSE, JACK, HE
LIKES ME AS A BLONDE.

YOU'RE ACTING CRAZY. WILL
YOU PLEASE JUST GET RID OF HIM.

JANET, CAN WE JUST... SEND HIM
AWAY. YOU JUST SEND HIM AWAY!

HI. HEY, BILL. HI.

LISTEN, UH, BILL.
JANET HAS A HEADACHE.

AND SO SHE TOLD ME TO TELL YOU TO
CALL HER WHEN SHE'S FEELING BLONDE...

BETTER.

WELL, OKAY. TELL HER
TO TAKE CARE OF HERSELF.

SURE WILL. TAKE CARE, BILL. BYE.

THANK YOU VERY
MUCH, JACK. SEE THE WAY

YOU'RE ACTING? THIS
WIG IS MAKING YOU CRAZY.

I KNOW. THEN YOU'LL
STOP WEARING IT?

YOU BET I WILL. GOOD!

JUST AS SOON AS I GET MY
HAIR BLEACHED. THAT WILL...

PERFECT.

I HATE THIS ROCKER.

[JANET] TERRI, DO
YOU REALLY THINK SO?

OH, YES, IT'S
BEAUTIFUL. IT'S LOVELY.

WONDERFUL! SENSATIONAL! YUCK!

WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH YOU? IT'S JANET.

IF SHE ASKS ME ONE MORE TIME HOW SHE
LOOKS IN HER WIG, I'M GONNA SET FIRE TO IT!

YOU SHOULD HAVE
DONE THAT A WEEK AGO.

SHE'S GETTING SO MANY COMPLIMENTS
AT WORK AND WHISTLES ON THE STREET,

IT'S CHANGED HER
WHOLE PERSONALITY.

I KNOW. SHE'S NOT
LIKE JANET ANYMORE.

YEAH, SHE'S ACTING
LIKE A DIZZY BLONDE.

YEAH. HEY!

DON'T GET ME WRONG, DIZ.

SOME OF MY BEST
FRIENDS ARE BLONDE.

THAT'S GOOD, BECAUSE TOMORROW
JANET'S GONNA BLEACH HER HAIR.

HEY, IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO
TALK SOME SENSE INTO HER, OKAY?

SO...

HI.

IT'S LATER THAN YOU THINK.

WELL? AREN'T ONE OF YOU GONNA
SAY SOMETHING ABOUT MY NEW DRESS?

WELL, UM, DON'T
YOU THINK THAT, UM,

IT'S A LITTLE TOO MUCH? OH.

I THINK IT'S A
LITTLE TOO LITTLE.

THAT'S WHAT I LIKE ABOUT IT,
JACK. AND I THINK BILL WILL TOO.

[CHUCKLES] LISTEN,
JANET... ZIP ME, HON.

[DOORBELL CHIMES] I
BETTER GET THE DOOR.

WHATEVER YOU CAN HANDLE.

I'LL ZIP YOU, HON. OH, THANKS.

HEY, JACKO, WAIT TILL YOU HEAR
ABOUT MY WEEK IN SAN FRANCISCO.

I WANNA TELL YOU, I MET
THE GIRL OF MY DREAMS.

I AM TELLING YOU, I WILL
NEVER LOOK AT ANOTHER...

WELL, HELLO, THERE.

HI, LARRY. HI, JANET.

IT'S JANET! WHAT HAVE
YOU DONE TO YOURSELF?

YOU NOTICED. WHAT DO
YOU THINK OF MY NEW DRESS?

WHERE'S THE REST OF IT?

SEE? LARRY AGREES WITH US. YOU
THINK IT'S A LITTLE TOO MUCH, HUH?

FOR WHAT?

LARRY, YOU'RE SO CUTE. YEAH.

I KNOW. LISTEN.

JANET, BABE, LOOK, I JUST
BOUGHT A NEW ALBUM. MM-HMM.

IT'S CALLED "MUSIC TO
PUT YOU IN THE MOOD." OH.

WELL, THAT'S GOOD, LARRY,
'CAUSE I'M ALREADY IN THE MOOD.

WHAT? HUH?

WHY DON'T YOU AND I GO TO YOUR APARTMENT
AND WARM UP YOUR STEREO RIGHT NOW?

[CHUCKLES] NOW? MM-HMM.

UH, UH, WE CAN'T. WHY NOT?

UH, UH, UH, I JUST REMEMBERED.

THERE'S SOMETHING
WRONG WITH MY TWEETER.

LARRY, WE COULD FIX THAT.

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. NOBODY
TINKERS WITH MY TWEETER.

LARRY, ARE YOU TURNING ME DOWN?

YES... UH, NO! YES...

LOOK, JANET, I'LL CALL YOU
WHEN EVERYTHING'S TINKING...

UH, TWEETING... UH, WORKING.

WHOA!

I REALLY HAD HIM
GOING, DIDN'T I? YEAH.

THAT WAS QUITE AN ACT.
IT WAS AN ACT, WASN'T IT?

WELL, SURE. LARRY IS ALL TALK.

[JANET GIGGLING]

LOOK, SHE'S GONE
OFF THE DEEP END.

HI, KIDS. HI, MR. FURLEY.

LISTEN, I JUST HAPPEN TO HAVE TWO
TICKETS FOR A SHOW TOMORROW NIGHT.

SINCE I DON'T WANNA GO ALONE...
THAT SOUNDS GREAT. WHAT'S THE SHOW?

NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
I WAS TALKING TO TERRI.

OH, WELL, IF YOU'D
RATHER GO WITH A GIRL.

NOTHING PERSONAL, JACK,
BUT THAT'S THE WAY THINGS ARE!

TERRI, WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO?

MR. FURLEY, I WOULD LOVE TO, BUT
I HAVE TO WORK TOMORROW NIGHT.

OH, DARN. YEAH.

OH, HELLO,
MR. FURLEY. HI, JANET.

JANET, YOU'RE WEARING A
BLONDE WIG! YOU NOTICED.

[CHUCKLES] WELL, NOT
MUCH GETS PAST THESE EYES.

THAT'S RIGHT. YOU'RE SHARP.

YEAH. LISTEN, UH...

ARE YOU BUSY
TOMORROW NIGHT? WHY?

WELL, HOW WOULD YOU
LIKE TO GO OUT WITH ME?

[LAUGHS] OH, MR. FURLEY.
YOU'RE KIDDING.

[GIGGLES]

UH, NO. UH, SEE, I GOT AN
EXTRA TICKET FOR THIS SHOW,

AND I THOUGHT MAYBE
YOU'D LIKE TO GO.

OH, I COULDN'T.

WELL, IT WOULDN'T BE LIKE
A REAL DATE OR ANYTHING?

[CHUCKLES] YOU
CAN SAY THAT AGAIN.

YEAH, WELL, IT WAS JUST
A THOUGHT. [JANET SIGHS]

AND IT WAS A VERY NICE
ONE TOO. UH-HUH. [GIGGLES]

WELL, I HAVE GOT TO GET
GOING. SEE YA LATER, GANG.

BYE. BYE!

BYE.

LOOK, MR. FURLEY, I THINK JANET REALLY
HAD A VERY IMPORTANT DATE TONIGHT.

SHE HAD BEEN PLANNING ON IT FOR
A LONG TIME. I FIGURED THAT OUT.

WHY ELSE WOULD SHE TURN ME DOWN?

I'LL SEE YA LATER.

[SIGHS] DID YOU SEE THE WAY SHE
TREATED POOR MR. FURLEY? SEE IT? I FELT IT.

JACK, WE HAVE TO DO
SOMETHING AND FAST! RIGHT.

DO YOU HAVE ANY
IDEAS? I'M THINKING.

UH-OH.

[LAUGHING] PLEASE, STOP,
STOP. STOP! THIS ISN'T FAIR.

I MEAN, THERE ARE FOUR OF YOU
AND THERE'S MERELY ONE OF ME.

SO MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO
GET A COUPLE MORE GUYS.

JANET? OOPS. EXCUSE ME, GUYS.

THE SECOND SHIFT JUST ARRIVED.

WHY DON'T WE SIT
DOWN? SURE, HONEY.

BYE, BOYS.

WELL, I MISSED YOU,
BILL. YEAH, I NOTICED.

WELL, SORRY I'M LATE.

OH, THAT'S OKAY.
THE GUYS DIDN'T MIND.

WHY, BILL, WHAT'S THE MATTER?
YOU SEEM A LITTLE UPTIGHT?

WELL, JANET, IF YOU
MUST KNOW... UH-HUH?

JANET! OH, HI, CINDY. HOW
NICE TO SEE YOU. THIS IS BILL.

WELL, HELLO. HI, CINDY.

WHOO! NO, NO, NO.

WOW, JANET, YOU REALLY
LOOK GREAT. [JANET] OH.

I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D
STILL BE WEARING IT.

IT? YEAH, HER WI...
WI... "WISTWATCH."

"WISTWATCH"?

THAT'S "WIGHT."

"WEAL" GOLD.

WELL, I BETTER BE
"WUNNING" "AWONG."

DON'T BE "WIDICULOUS"...

RIDICULOUS. WHY DON'T YOU
JOIN US? NO, DIDN'T YOU HEAR HER?

SHE CAN'T STAY.

"WUN" ALONG, CINDY. "WUN" ALONG.

YEAH. BYE.

OH, IT WAS NICE MEETING YOU.

YOU KNOW, JANET, I
DIDN'T THINK THAT WAS...

JANET? MM-HMM?

NEVER MIND.

LOOK, WHY DON'T
WE CALL IT A NIGHT.

WELL, I HAVE HEARD OF
CHEAP DATES BEFORE...

JANET, WILL YOU CUT
OUT THE WISECRACKS.

WHY, BILL, WHATEVER
IS THE MATTER?

YOU AND ME.

I THINK MAYBE WE SHOULD
FORGET THE WHOLE THING.

AHH.

BILLY WILLY. SILLY BILLY.

YOU'RE PUTTING ME ON.

NO, I'M NOT. YOU'RE NOT THE SAME
PERSON I MET TWO WEEKS AGO.

WELL, YES, I ALWAYS MAKE
LOUSY FIRST IMPRESSIONS.

NO, YOU DON'T. IT'S YOUR
SECOND ONES THAT ARE LOUSY.

BILL.

I'M SORRY, JANET.

[EXHALES] BILL?

♪♪ [HUMMING]

OH, LARRY.

OH, HI, JANET. I WAS
JUST ON MY WAY OUT.

NO, NO, NO. NO, LARRY. I'D LIKE
TO ASK YOU A LITTLE QUESTION.

MY TWEETER'S STILL NOT WORKING.

PLEASE, LARRY. JUST BE
PERFECTLY HONEST WITH ME.

HOW DO I LOOK TO YOU? TERRIFIC.

REALLY? YEAH, HONEST. IF
I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS YOU,

I WOULD SAY THAT'S
MY TYPE OF WOMAN.

OH, MY GOD. AS BAD AS THAT?

JANET, WAIT, WHOA, HOLD IT!

WHERE ARE YOU GOING? HOME...

TO SAY GOOD-BYE TO THIS WIG
AND HELLO TO JANET. [MOANS]

SHE'S COMING! SHE'S
COMING! I'M ALMOST READY.

OH, HI, JANET. TERRI, I'M
REAL GLAD YOU'RE HERE.

I WANNA TALK TO
YOU FOR A MINUTE.

HEY, BABY, OH!

LISTEN, UH, I'M GOING TO A SWINGING
PARTY AT GREEDY GRETCHEN'S.

THEY'RE GONNA RAFFLE
ME OFF IN AN HOUR.

WAIT, JACK. HEY,
JAN, JAN, JANNY JAN.

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO BUY A TICKET
AND TAKE YOUR CHANCES. EXCUSE ME.

JACK! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

HEY, HEY, COME CLOSE, BUT
DON'T TOUCH THE THREADS, T. OKAY.

JACK, I WANNA... I KNOW
WHAT YOU WANNA TELL ME.

THAT YOU LOVE IT, HUH?

I OWE IT ALL TO YOU, WOODSY.
YOU SHOWED ME THE WAY.

KIND OF TAKES YOUR
LUNGS AWAY, HUH, MAMA?

I LOVE YOU, JACK. HEY,
WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT, WAIT.

YOU AND YOUR STUPID IDEAS! JANET,
THIS ISN'T ME. THIS IS ONLY AN ACT.

WE WERE JUST TRYING...
I KNOW. I KNOW, TERRI.

I KNOW JUST EXACTLY WHAT
YOU GUYS WERE TRYING TO DO.

YOU DO? OH, YES,
AND I LOVE YOU FOR IT.

OH, GOD, I MADE SUCH
A FOOL OF MYSELF.

[TERRI, JACK] YOU SURE DID.

I DID, DIDN'T I?

I JUST WANNA SAY THANK YOU VERY MUCH
FOR NOT THROWING ME RIGHT OUT THE DOOR.

WELL, TERRI WOULDN'T LET ME.

JANET, WILL YOU DO A FAVOR
FOR US? ANYTHING, ANYTHING!

WOULD YOU PLEASE TAKE OFF
THE STUPID WIG? OH, GLADLY!

NOT MINE! I DON'T HAVE
ANYTHING ON UNDERNEATH!

I KNOW, I KNOW. IT'S SO GREAT TO
HAVE THE OLD JANET BACK AGAIN.

YOU SAID IT. [DOORBELL CHIMES]

I'LL GET IT. OH, GOSH.

OH, HI. WELL, WHAT'D
YOU CALL ME UP HERE FOR?

SO YOU CAN TURN ME
DOWN AGAIN? NO, NO, NO.

I CALLED YOU UP HERE SO
THAT I COULD APOLOGIZE.

AND THEN SAY IF YOU STILL WANTED
ME TO GO TO THAT SHOW, I'D LOVE TO GO.

YOU WOULD? YES.

DARN! I MADE OTHER
PLANS. OH, MR. FURLEY.

WAIT A MINUTE. MAYBE SHE
WOULDN'T MIND IF I CHANGED THEM.

REALLY? YEAH, TELL YOU WHAT.

HERE ARE THE TICKETS.
THE SHOW STARTS AT 8:00.

YOU CAN PICK MY MOTHER UP
IN FRONT OF HER HOUSE AT 7:30.

THREE'S COMPANY WAS VIDEOTAPED
IN FRONT OF A STUDIO AUDIENCE.