Three's Company (1976–1984): Season 6, Episode 18 - A Friend in Need - full transcript
Jack's friend asks Jack to be a substitute chef for a few days. Even though Jack was fired from Angelinos, he agrees. A mobster eats at the restaurant and enjoys Jack's food. The mobster insists Jack be hired and the other chef fired.
[man] ♪ Come and
knock on our door ♪
[woman] ♪ Come and
knock on our door ♪
♪ We've been waitin' for you ♪
♪ We've been waitin' for you ♪
[both] ♪ Where the kisses
are hers and hers and his ♪
♪ Three's company too ♪
♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪
♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪
♪ Take a step that is new ♪
♪ Take a step that is new ♪
♪ We've a loveable space
that needs your face ♪
♪ Three's company too ♪
♪ You'll see that life is a ball
again Laughter is calling for you ♪
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
♪ Three's company too ♪
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
♪ Three's company too ♪
[horrible screeching]
Terri?
Terri!
The milk has gone sour.
I've only been
practicing for ten minutes.
I'm just telling you so
you can pick some up.
Oh!
Terri. Terri.
Terri, that was very good.
Thank you, Jack.
You cleared out all my sinuses.
Well!
You want to burn this? Yes.
[sighs] Jack. Hey.
How'd your job hunting go?
Terrible. I was turned
down in 12 languages.
Italian, French,
Swedish... Swedish?
I didn't know you could
cook Swedish food.
I can't. That was a
Swedish girl I met on the bus.
What about going
back to Angelino's?
After what he said to me? Never!
What'd he say? You're fired.
[doorbell rings]
Big deal, Jack.
He's fired you a lot of times.
Yeah, I'm getting
pretty tired of it.
Felipe! Jefe!
[chuckles]
It's good to see you.
Oh, no, it's good to see you!
[chuckles]
Well, come in! Me?
You mean come inside? Sure.
Oh, you are so good to me.
[chuckles]
[chuckles]
You remember Terri and Janet,
My roommates. Felipe.
No, no, they wouldn't
remember me.
Of course, we do. Hello, Felipe.
Hello, Felipe. Nice
to see you again.
Oh! they remember me!
Felipe, why don't you sit down?
Oh, thank you. [chuckles]
[chuckles]
So, Felipe. What
brings you here?
Well, I come for two reasons.
I want to tell you
how sorry I am
that you lose your job.
Thank you. Oh, you are welcome.
He's a great chef.
I cannot understand
why Mr. Angelino let you go.
I'll tell you. That cheapskate
fired me so he could hire some
second-rate chef for less.
Oh. Who did he hire?
Me.
Oh, well, some second-raters
are better than others.
[Spanish] And I come also
to ask the favor of you.
You see, only you
can do this for me, jefe.
What is it?
Well, [chuckles]
My wife and I, we've been
wanting to have a baby!
No, no, that's pushing it.
I don't think...
But my Carmelita is
going to have a baby.
Oh, you... Yes, she
is due this Sunday.
Oh, congratulations! Nice going!
Felipe. That's only 3 days away.
I'm going to be with
her the whole time.
I am to be... the coach!
You're doing it through natural
childbirth. Sí!
I'm going to be
there with the doctor
so I can help him.
Show him where everything is.
We're all very happy for you.
[Spanish] I am happy for me too.
Except, I cannot
be there with my
Carmelita unless I
get someone to take
my place at the restaurant.
Oh, no! No, no! Jefe. Please.
Jack, he needs
to be with his wife.
It's real important to him.
But Angelino doesn't like me.
Doesn't like you? Oh, no.
He hates you.
But he said he
could put up with you
for three days.
Wait a minute, you already told
him I'd do it, Felipe,
without asking...
Only because you are
such a good friend. Aw!
Oh, amigo, please.
Start tonight, until
my baby comes.
My little tamale.
Oh, okay, okay.
Three olés for the jefe.
Olé! Olé, ! Olé!
Chicken cacciatore.
Oh, coming up.
Tripper. Hello, Mr. Angelino
I don't want any
trouble with you.
We have a problem out there.
We have a problem?
Don't argue with me.
I'm not... There you go, again!
Sorry.
The only reason I let you
back was as a favor to Felipe.
I promise I'll do my best.
No, you've got to
do better than that!
Listen, Mr. Angelino
No, you listen.
And listen carefully.
A customer just
walked in, Mr. Cannon.
Mr. Cannon?
You're not listening.
Sorry.
He ordered linguine and clams.
My specialty! He'll love it.
Oh, I hope so for
your sake. Huh?
Mr. Cannon is a
very important man.
Veh-heh-heh... ery important.
What does he do? Shh!
What? Shh-shh!
All you have to know
is, if he's happy here,
it's good for
business. If he's not-
there is no business.
Why? What can he do?
Anything he wants.
You're not telling
me he's a... he's a...
[grunt] Remember
what I said before.
What?
Shh!
I'll get started on the
linguine and clams.
And it better be good.
I'll cook as though
my life depends on it.
It does. Don't be nervous.
Me? Nervous?
When I cook, nothing bothers me.
Duck! [screams]
Now, I put my
heart into this steak
just to beef it up. So...
Thank you for your attention.
I hate that guy.
What did you do to
the linguine and clams?
Nothing! Nothing?
You must have done
something. He wants to see you!
Mr. Cannon? Shh!
Mr. Cannon! Well,
come in! Come in.
Welcome to my kitchen.
You the chef?
Huh? Well, uh...
Yes, yes, Mr. Cannon.
You see, I didn't
want to hire him, but
the union insisted...
Angelino, you talk too much.
You noticed that
too, huh? As for you.
I tried your linguine and clams.
Let me tell you what happened...
It was delicious!
Ah, well, that's what
happened, it turned out just right.
Oh, I knew he was a great
chef the moment I saw him.
Hey kid. Yes sir?
That linguine was
the best I've had
since my poor, sainted
mama passed away.
God rest her soul.
Amen.
What?
Ah-men?
Hey, Angelino. You make a good
choice with this kid.
Oh, thank you, Mr. Cannon.
Of course, he's only a
temporary chef here...
I want to see more of him.
Who is now permanently hired.
Permanent?
I was saving it for a surprise!
Oh, Felipe and
I together will...
Oh, no! Just you, Tripper.
I can't afford two chefs.
Felipe goes back to
being a salad man.
Oh, no way. I can't take
Felipe's job away from him.
What? I said, I'm
sorry, but I can't. Hey.
I hate the word "can't".
He hates the word "can't".
I'm sorry, but I won't.
I hate the word "won't"...
more than I hate
the word "can't".
He hates the word
"won't" more than
he hates the word "can't".
But... [grunts]
I wouldn't take a chance on that
word either.
Oh, Mr. Cannon.
We'll work it out.
Trust me.
Hey, come on. I trust everybody.
[laughs]
Until they give
me reason not to.
I'll be in tomorrow night.
7:00. [laughs]
Tripper, are you crazy?
You almost said
no to Mr. Cannon!
Shh!
Mr. Angelino. I can't steal
Felipe's job away from him.
I won't do it.
Tripper! No.
Jack.
Son.
Don't do this.
Mr. Cannon wants
you to work here.
If he doesn't get what he wants,
something bad will happen
to me. I'm sorry, Mr. Angelino.
I'll tell you something else.
It won't make any difference.
Something bad
will happen to you.
That makes a difference.
Why did I let that guy
Cannon scare me?
Because he could hurt you!
Oh, yeah. That was why.
I still should have said no.
I'm so ashamed of myself.
Oh, Jack.
How can I ever face Felipe?
When's he coming
back to work? Monday.
Well, that gives you three days.
Huh?
Yeah, Jack.
You oughtta be
able to think of some
way of getting out by then.
Thank you. [doorbell]
You girls made me
feel so much better.
Oh, boy!
What a relief it is not to
have to worry about... Felipe!
Jefe!
What are you doing
here? I am a papa!
The baby! He comes early!
Ohh! Come on in.
Congratulations.
We're so happy for you.
I'm so happy for you.
I am happy for me too.
Oh, boy. Everything
worked out fine.
Thanks to my good
friend Jack. Hey.
Now I can go back
to work tonight!
Tonight?
Tonight?
[chuckles]
Uh... tonight?
Yeah, Jack. He wants to
come back to work tonight.
But you can't come
back to work tonight.
Why not? Why not, why not?
Uh... Because, well,
come on, Felipe,
Shouldn't you be
with your new son?
Why? I already did
my part. [chuckles]
So, I go back to work tonight.
Felipe, I have to talk
to you about work.
Honest, I had nothing
to do with it, but...
Nothing? My friend, you had
everything to do with
it. And because of that,
I am going to name
my son after you.
Terri... Janet,
did you hear that?
Jack Gomez.
No, yours will not
be the first name.
Oh, sorry.
What is his first name?
Fernando Valenzuela.
Fernando Valenzuela Felipe
José Jack Francesco Gomez.
You come right before my cousin.
You hear that, girls? I come
right before his very own cousin!
My cousin is a pig.
You are my very good friend.
[Spanish]
[Spanish] Adíos.
Adíos, Felipe.
See you later. Bye!
Now what?
Oh, Jack. You can't let Felipe
show up for work
tonight. I know.
Why was that little
Fernando in such a hurry?
Why do you have to
be such a good cook?
Wait a minute. I'm
not a good cook,
I'm a lousy cook!
What? I am the worst
cook in the world.
Oh, no you're not!
Yes I am. And tonight,
when Cannon comes in, he's
going to get the worst meal of his life.
Then he'll force Angelino to fire
me, and Felipe will get his job back!
Did you ever hear
anything so crazy?
Yeah, I think it's a
great idea! Thanks, Terri!
Listen, I'm going down to the restaurant
before Felipe does and get things ready.
See you later! Jack!
Oh, boy.
Oh, boy oh boy oh boy...
What's the matter, Janet?
The problem is solved!
Oh sure.
What if Mr. Cannon
gets angry when
Jack serves him a lousy meal?
What if he has Jack...
What if he does
something nasty to Jack?
Ohh... I never thought of that!
I don't think Jack
did either, Terri.
So we better do some
thinking for him. Yeah.
Tripper! You're here early!
Well, Felipe said he was
coming back tonight, so...
Good thinking.
And you tell Felipe
if he wants his old
job back as Salad Man,
he's got it. Mr. Angelino...
No, no, no, no. He deserves it.
And you do a good job
on Mr. Cannon's linguine.
I'm working on it
right now. That a boy!
In fact, I'm giving it my
extra-special attention.
Go to it... son.
Dash of pepper. Oh, good, good.
Very good!
"Good. Good."
"Very good!"
[Spanish]
Felipe!
Jack!
I told you I was
coming to work tonight.
What are you
doing in my kitchen?
It's like this, amigo.
Mr. Angelino gave me your job.
What?
I-I mean... [gulps]
he gave me your old
job as salad man.
[Spanish] You mean, you
who used to be the big mi jefe
when I was the humble salad man,
is now the humble
salad man himself?
I love it!
Tripper!
Mr. Cannon is here.
Linguine and clams
coming right up.
Did you talk things
over with Felipe?
Sí, it is just fine
with me. Good, good.
Now get Mr. Cannon's
food out there!
He wants the chef to
serve it to him, personally.
Of course.
Did you put enough
pepper in this?
I better make sure.
A little bit more
wouldn't hurt.
Felipe.
Would you permit this
lowly, humble salad man
the privilege of serving
this magnificent creation
for you? No way.
Please?
Mi jefe?
Since you put it that way.
Here you are, Mr. Cannon.
Linguine and clams.
Made from my
extra-special recipe.
Prepared exclusively
by me, for you.
I hope you enjoy this
extra-spec... Quiet!
I'm going to eat! Sure.
It's fantastic!
I'm so... What!
It's even better than my mama's
God rest her soul's linguine.
Achoo!
Finally, eh? A cook
who uses enough spices.
Thank you, thank you
Mr. Canno... Achoo!
Tripper, you are
my chef for life!
Yeah, but...
In here, lieutenant!
That's the man!
Nobody move.
You Jack Tripper? Huh?
Police.
This woman has filed
a complaint against you.
What is going on here?
You're under arrest.
My friend.
What seems to be the trouble?
Who are you?
Oh, of course.
You're... who you are.
Uh. He deserted this
woman, and left her
with no visible
means of support.
Right. And there
are laws against that.
You're going to
be put away for a
very long stretch, Mr. Tripper.
Stool pigeon!
Rat! [growls]
Look out, Lieutenant,
he's a very dangerous man.
Hey, excuse me.
But he's a friend of mine. Hmm?
Now couldn't...
we make an
exception in this case?
I'm afraid that's impossible.
The law... is the law.
How does $100.00 sound?
Better than what
I just said. 10-4!
Angelino.
Yes, Mr. Cannon?
Some chairs for my friends.
No, no... I think we
all oughtta sit down.
[yelps]
Sit down. We oughtta
have a little talk.
Yes, sir.
Now, what did my friend here
do that was so bad?
He stays out all night long!
Boys will be boys.
Maybe you oughtta,
you know, stay home
one night a week?
Yeah, but see, I have this
gorgeous girlfriend... Hey!
Admit nothing!
When he does bother
to come home, he's
always drunk, and
beats on our kids.
Man's gotta relax, right?
Maybe you oughtta
cut down on the
booze, you know? Just a little.
I'll drink what I want, when
I want, and how much I want!
Gotta admit, the kid
knows what he wants.
One time I told him
not to yell at my mother,
and he beat me black and blue!
What?
With a broom handle!
He yelled at your mama?
I had to be in bed
for a whole week!
You yelled at her mama?
Well the TV was up loud.
[yelling] You
yelled at her mama?
All right, Mr. Cannon?
Yeah, about this kid here...
I love him like my son!
I never want to
see his face again!
[muffled cry]
I don't have a son. Tripper!
You're fired!
Fired? Fired!
Oh, shucks.
Well, I better get my
stuff and clear out.
Hey! Eh?
You stay.
Me?
I gotta get home to the kids...
I think you better stay.
Know what? Huh.
I like a girl who
likes her mama.
Sure, everybody
likes their parents.
Try some linguine.
[gasping]
It's good! You know?
Felipe, will you listen to me?
Hey, don't tell me. I
saw what happened.
I got ears! You're
stabbing me in the back!
But can I explain?
No, I don't need
your explanations.
And what's more, my
son don't need your name!
You could have it back!
Felipe.
It's too late.
Where are you
going? I am leaving
and I am never
coming back again!
Wait!
The gringo's out, you're in!
Look who's back.
Felipe, that's what I was trying
to tell you.
You got your job back.
I'm happy for you.
Oh, I am happy for me too, jefe.
And my son decided to
keep your name after all.
Thanks a lot. I've got to
get Janet. [Spanish]
What do you want? I want to
talk to my wife.
Janet, I'm going
to take you home.
Okay, if you'd rather stay here,
it's okay with me! [panting]
You stay. I haven't
finished telling you
about my mama,
God rest her soul.
Here, have some
more linguine. Ahh!
[groans]
I don't want to hear
any more excuses.
We had it worked out
and you loused it up.
The man flashed a hundred-dollar
bill in my face. I
couldn't help myself.
I'm not defending
Larry... Why not?
Will you keep out of this?
Lar... Janet!
Janet. Don't you dare
talk to me, Jack Tripper.
How could you just
leave me like that?
Why, you seemed to
be having a good time?
Good time?
I had to sit through
hours of stories about
Mr. Cannon's mama,
God rest her soul.
And then I had to start
making up stories about
my own mother!
[Larry] Jack!
How could you just
walk out on her like that?
Oh! Please! You
are one to talk Larry.
You just took the money and ran.
Larry, you are a
miserable, lowdown rat.
I know.
Why can't you just accept that?
You know what your
problem is, Larry?
All you ever think
about is money.
Oh, really? Okay, Janet.
I'm going to show
you the kind of
guy I really am.
Here. You take
the hundred dollars.
Thanks.
Thanks.
She took my money! Jack!
[Theme Music]
[Janet] Three's Company is
videotaped in front of a studio audience.
Closed-Captioned by JR
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA
knock on our door ♪
[woman] ♪ Come and
knock on our door ♪
♪ We've been waitin' for you ♪
♪ We've been waitin' for you ♪
[both] ♪ Where the kisses
are hers and hers and his ♪
♪ Three's company too ♪
♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪
♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪
♪ Take a step that is new ♪
♪ Take a step that is new ♪
♪ We've a loveable space
that needs your face ♪
♪ Three's company too ♪
♪ You'll see that life is a ball
again Laughter is calling for you ♪
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
♪ Three's company too ♪
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
♪ Three's company too ♪
[horrible screeching]
Terri?
Terri!
The milk has gone sour.
I've only been
practicing for ten minutes.
I'm just telling you so
you can pick some up.
Oh!
Terri. Terri.
Terri, that was very good.
Thank you, Jack.
You cleared out all my sinuses.
Well!
You want to burn this? Yes.
[sighs] Jack. Hey.
How'd your job hunting go?
Terrible. I was turned
down in 12 languages.
Italian, French,
Swedish... Swedish?
I didn't know you could
cook Swedish food.
I can't. That was a
Swedish girl I met on the bus.
What about going
back to Angelino's?
After what he said to me? Never!
What'd he say? You're fired.
[doorbell rings]
Big deal, Jack.
He's fired you a lot of times.
Yeah, I'm getting
pretty tired of it.
Felipe! Jefe!
[chuckles]
It's good to see you.
Oh, no, it's good to see you!
[chuckles]
Well, come in! Me?
You mean come inside? Sure.
Oh, you are so good to me.
[chuckles]
[chuckles]
You remember Terri and Janet,
My roommates. Felipe.
No, no, they wouldn't
remember me.
Of course, we do. Hello, Felipe.
Hello, Felipe. Nice
to see you again.
Oh! they remember me!
Felipe, why don't you sit down?
Oh, thank you. [chuckles]
[chuckles]
So, Felipe. What
brings you here?
Well, I come for two reasons.
I want to tell you
how sorry I am
that you lose your job.
Thank you. Oh, you are welcome.
He's a great chef.
I cannot understand
why Mr. Angelino let you go.
I'll tell you. That cheapskate
fired me so he could hire some
second-rate chef for less.
Oh. Who did he hire?
Me.
Oh, well, some second-raters
are better than others.
[Spanish] And I come also
to ask the favor of you.
You see, only you
can do this for me, jefe.
What is it?
Well, [chuckles]
My wife and I, we've been
wanting to have a baby!
No, no, that's pushing it.
I don't think...
But my Carmelita is
going to have a baby.
Oh, you... Yes, she
is due this Sunday.
Oh, congratulations! Nice going!
Felipe. That's only 3 days away.
I'm going to be with
her the whole time.
I am to be... the coach!
You're doing it through natural
childbirth. Sí!
I'm going to be
there with the doctor
so I can help him.
Show him where everything is.
We're all very happy for you.
[Spanish] I am happy for me too.
Except, I cannot
be there with my
Carmelita unless I
get someone to take
my place at the restaurant.
Oh, no! No, no! Jefe. Please.
Jack, he needs
to be with his wife.
It's real important to him.
But Angelino doesn't like me.
Doesn't like you? Oh, no.
He hates you.
But he said he
could put up with you
for three days.
Wait a minute, you already told
him I'd do it, Felipe,
without asking...
Only because you are
such a good friend. Aw!
Oh, amigo, please.
Start tonight, until
my baby comes.
My little tamale.
Oh, okay, okay.
Three olés for the jefe.
Olé! Olé, ! Olé!
Chicken cacciatore.
Oh, coming up.
Tripper. Hello, Mr. Angelino
I don't want any
trouble with you.
We have a problem out there.
We have a problem?
Don't argue with me.
I'm not... There you go, again!
Sorry.
The only reason I let you
back was as a favor to Felipe.
I promise I'll do my best.
No, you've got to
do better than that!
Listen, Mr. Angelino
No, you listen.
And listen carefully.
A customer just
walked in, Mr. Cannon.
Mr. Cannon?
You're not listening.
Sorry.
He ordered linguine and clams.
My specialty! He'll love it.
Oh, I hope so for
your sake. Huh?
Mr. Cannon is a
very important man.
Veh-heh-heh... ery important.
What does he do? Shh!
What? Shh-shh!
All you have to know
is, if he's happy here,
it's good for
business. If he's not-
there is no business.
Why? What can he do?
Anything he wants.
You're not telling
me he's a... he's a...
[grunt] Remember
what I said before.
What?
Shh!
I'll get started on the
linguine and clams.
And it better be good.
I'll cook as though
my life depends on it.
It does. Don't be nervous.
Me? Nervous?
When I cook, nothing bothers me.
Duck! [screams]
Now, I put my
heart into this steak
just to beef it up. So...
Thank you for your attention.
I hate that guy.
What did you do to
the linguine and clams?
Nothing! Nothing?
You must have done
something. He wants to see you!
Mr. Cannon? Shh!
Mr. Cannon! Well,
come in! Come in.
Welcome to my kitchen.
You the chef?
Huh? Well, uh...
Yes, yes, Mr. Cannon.
You see, I didn't
want to hire him, but
the union insisted...
Angelino, you talk too much.
You noticed that
too, huh? As for you.
I tried your linguine and clams.
Let me tell you what happened...
It was delicious!
Ah, well, that's what
happened, it turned out just right.
Oh, I knew he was a great
chef the moment I saw him.
Hey kid. Yes sir?
That linguine was
the best I've had
since my poor, sainted
mama passed away.
God rest her soul.
Amen.
What?
Ah-men?
Hey, Angelino. You make a good
choice with this kid.
Oh, thank you, Mr. Cannon.
Of course, he's only a
temporary chef here...
I want to see more of him.
Who is now permanently hired.
Permanent?
I was saving it for a surprise!
Oh, Felipe and
I together will...
Oh, no! Just you, Tripper.
I can't afford two chefs.
Felipe goes back to
being a salad man.
Oh, no way. I can't take
Felipe's job away from him.
What? I said, I'm
sorry, but I can't. Hey.
I hate the word "can't".
He hates the word "can't".
I'm sorry, but I won't.
I hate the word "won't"...
more than I hate
the word "can't".
He hates the word
"won't" more than
he hates the word "can't".
But... [grunts]
I wouldn't take a chance on that
word either.
Oh, Mr. Cannon.
We'll work it out.
Trust me.
Hey, come on. I trust everybody.
[laughs]
Until they give
me reason not to.
I'll be in tomorrow night.
7:00. [laughs]
Tripper, are you crazy?
You almost said
no to Mr. Cannon!
Shh!
Mr. Angelino. I can't steal
Felipe's job away from him.
I won't do it.
Tripper! No.
Jack.
Son.
Don't do this.
Mr. Cannon wants
you to work here.
If he doesn't get what he wants,
something bad will happen
to me. I'm sorry, Mr. Angelino.
I'll tell you something else.
It won't make any difference.
Something bad
will happen to you.
That makes a difference.
Why did I let that guy
Cannon scare me?
Because he could hurt you!
Oh, yeah. That was why.
I still should have said no.
I'm so ashamed of myself.
Oh, Jack.
How can I ever face Felipe?
When's he coming
back to work? Monday.
Well, that gives you three days.
Huh?
Yeah, Jack.
You oughtta be
able to think of some
way of getting out by then.
Thank you. [doorbell]
You girls made me
feel so much better.
Oh, boy!
What a relief it is not to
have to worry about... Felipe!
Jefe!
What are you doing
here? I am a papa!
The baby! He comes early!
Ohh! Come on in.
Congratulations.
We're so happy for you.
I'm so happy for you.
I am happy for me too.
Oh, boy. Everything
worked out fine.
Thanks to my good
friend Jack. Hey.
Now I can go back
to work tonight!
Tonight?
Tonight?
[chuckles]
Uh... tonight?
Yeah, Jack. He wants to
come back to work tonight.
But you can't come
back to work tonight.
Why not? Why not, why not?
Uh... Because, well,
come on, Felipe,
Shouldn't you be
with your new son?
Why? I already did
my part. [chuckles]
So, I go back to work tonight.
Felipe, I have to talk
to you about work.
Honest, I had nothing
to do with it, but...
Nothing? My friend, you had
everything to do with
it. And because of that,
I am going to name
my son after you.
Terri... Janet,
did you hear that?
Jack Gomez.
No, yours will not
be the first name.
Oh, sorry.
What is his first name?
Fernando Valenzuela.
Fernando Valenzuela Felipe
José Jack Francesco Gomez.
You come right before my cousin.
You hear that, girls? I come
right before his very own cousin!
My cousin is a pig.
You are my very good friend.
[Spanish]
[Spanish] Adíos.
Adíos, Felipe.
See you later. Bye!
Now what?
Oh, Jack. You can't let Felipe
show up for work
tonight. I know.
Why was that little
Fernando in such a hurry?
Why do you have to
be such a good cook?
Wait a minute. I'm
not a good cook,
I'm a lousy cook!
What? I am the worst
cook in the world.
Oh, no you're not!
Yes I am. And tonight,
when Cannon comes in, he's
going to get the worst meal of his life.
Then he'll force Angelino to fire
me, and Felipe will get his job back!
Did you ever hear
anything so crazy?
Yeah, I think it's a
great idea! Thanks, Terri!
Listen, I'm going down to the restaurant
before Felipe does and get things ready.
See you later! Jack!
Oh, boy.
Oh, boy oh boy oh boy...
What's the matter, Janet?
The problem is solved!
Oh sure.
What if Mr. Cannon
gets angry when
Jack serves him a lousy meal?
What if he has Jack...
What if he does
something nasty to Jack?
Ohh... I never thought of that!
I don't think Jack
did either, Terri.
So we better do some
thinking for him. Yeah.
Tripper! You're here early!
Well, Felipe said he was
coming back tonight, so...
Good thinking.
And you tell Felipe
if he wants his old
job back as Salad Man,
he's got it. Mr. Angelino...
No, no, no, no. He deserves it.
And you do a good job
on Mr. Cannon's linguine.
I'm working on it
right now. That a boy!
In fact, I'm giving it my
extra-special attention.
Go to it... son.
Dash of pepper. Oh, good, good.
Very good!
"Good. Good."
"Very good!"
[Spanish]
Felipe!
Jack!
I told you I was
coming to work tonight.
What are you
doing in my kitchen?
It's like this, amigo.
Mr. Angelino gave me your job.
What?
I-I mean... [gulps]
he gave me your old
job as salad man.
[Spanish] You mean, you
who used to be the big mi jefe
when I was the humble salad man,
is now the humble
salad man himself?
I love it!
Tripper!
Mr. Cannon is here.
Linguine and clams
coming right up.
Did you talk things
over with Felipe?
Sí, it is just fine
with me. Good, good.
Now get Mr. Cannon's
food out there!
He wants the chef to
serve it to him, personally.
Of course.
Did you put enough
pepper in this?
I better make sure.
A little bit more
wouldn't hurt.
Felipe.
Would you permit this
lowly, humble salad man
the privilege of serving
this magnificent creation
for you? No way.
Please?
Mi jefe?
Since you put it that way.
Here you are, Mr. Cannon.
Linguine and clams.
Made from my
extra-special recipe.
Prepared exclusively
by me, for you.
I hope you enjoy this
extra-spec... Quiet!
I'm going to eat! Sure.
It's fantastic!
I'm so... What!
It's even better than my mama's
God rest her soul's linguine.
Achoo!
Finally, eh? A cook
who uses enough spices.
Thank you, thank you
Mr. Canno... Achoo!
Tripper, you are
my chef for life!
Yeah, but...
In here, lieutenant!
That's the man!
Nobody move.
You Jack Tripper? Huh?
Police.
This woman has filed
a complaint against you.
What is going on here?
You're under arrest.
My friend.
What seems to be the trouble?
Who are you?
Oh, of course.
You're... who you are.
Uh. He deserted this
woman, and left her
with no visible
means of support.
Right. And there
are laws against that.
You're going to
be put away for a
very long stretch, Mr. Tripper.
Stool pigeon!
Rat! [growls]
Look out, Lieutenant,
he's a very dangerous man.
Hey, excuse me.
But he's a friend of mine. Hmm?
Now couldn't...
we make an
exception in this case?
I'm afraid that's impossible.
The law... is the law.
How does $100.00 sound?
Better than what
I just said. 10-4!
Angelino.
Yes, Mr. Cannon?
Some chairs for my friends.
No, no... I think we
all oughtta sit down.
[yelps]
Sit down. We oughtta
have a little talk.
Yes, sir.
Now, what did my friend here
do that was so bad?
He stays out all night long!
Boys will be boys.
Maybe you oughtta,
you know, stay home
one night a week?
Yeah, but see, I have this
gorgeous girlfriend... Hey!
Admit nothing!
When he does bother
to come home, he's
always drunk, and
beats on our kids.
Man's gotta relax, right?
Maybe you oughtta
cut down on the
booze, you know? Just a little.
I'll drink what I want, when
I want, and how much I want!
Gotta admit, the kid
knows what he wants.
One time I told him
not to yell at my mother,
and he beat me black and blue!
What?
With a broom handle!
He yelled at your mama?
I had to be in bed
for a whole week!
You yelled at her mama?
Well the TV was up loud.
[yelling] You
yelled at her mama?
All right, Mr. Cannon?
Yeah, about this kid here...
I love him like my son!
I never want to
see his face again!
[muffled cry]
I don't have a son. Tripper!
You're fired!
Fired? Fired!
Oh, shucks.
Well, I better get my
stuff and clear out.
Hey! Eh?
You stay.
Me?
I gotta get home to the kids...
I think you better stay.
Know what? Huh.
I like a girl who
likes her mama.
Sure, everybody
likes their parents.
Try some linguine.
[gasping]
It's good! You know?
Felipe, will you listen to me?
Hey, don't tell me. I
saw what happened.
I got ears! You're
stabbing me in the back!
But can I explain?
No, I don't need
your explanations.
And what's more, my
son don't need your name!
You could have it back!
Felipe.
It's too late.
Where are you
going? I am leaving
and I am never
coming back again!
Wait!
The gringo's out, you're in!
Look who's back.
Felipe, that's what I was trying
to tell you.
You got your job back.
I'm happy for you.
Oh, I am happy for me too, jefe.
And my son decided to
keep your name after all.
Thanks a lot. I've got to
get Janet. [Spanish]
What do you want? I want to
talk to my wife.
Janet, I'm going
to take you home.
Okay, if you'd rather stay here,
it's okay with me! [panting]
You stay. I haven't
finished telling you
about my mama,
God rest her soul.
Here, have some
more linguine. Ahh!
[groans]
I don't want to hear
any more excuses.
We had it worked out
and you loused it up.
The man flashed a hundred-dollar
bill in my face. I
couldn't help myself.
I'm not defending
Larry... Why not?
Will you keep out of this?
Lar... Janet!
Janet. Don't you dare
talk to me, Jack Tripper.
How could you just
leave me like that?
Why, you seemed to
be having a good time?
Good time?
I had to sit through
hours of stories about
Mr. Cannon's mama,
God rest her soul.
And then I had to start
making up stories about
my own mother!
[Larry] Jack!
How could you just
walk out on her like that?
Oh! Please! You
are one to talk Larry.
You just took the money and ran.
Larry, you are a
miserable, lowdown rat.
I know.
Why can't you just accept that?
You know what your
problem is, Larry?
All you ever think
about is money.
Oh, really? Okay, Janet.
I'm going to show
you the kind of
guy I really am.
Here. You take
the hundred dollars.
Thanks.
Thanks.
She took my money! Jack!
[Theme Music]
[Janet] Three's Company is
videotaped in front of a studio audience.
Closed-Captioned by JR
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA