Three's Company (1976–1984): Season 6, Episode 10 - Dates of Wrath - full transcript

Janet is interested in the bartender at the Regal Beagle, but is afraid to ask him out. She talks to the bartender and accidentally tells him to ask Terri on a date.

[man] ♪ Come and
knock on our door ♪

[woman] ♪ Come and
knock on our door ♪

♪ We've been waitin' for you ♪

♪ We've been waitin' for you ♪

[both] ♪ Where the kisses
are hers and hers and his ♪

♪ Three's company too ♪

♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪
♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪

♪ Take a step that is new ♪
♪ Take a step that is new ♪

♪ We've a loveable space
that needs your face ♪

♪ Three's company too ♪

♪ You'll see that life is a ball
again Laughter is calling for you ♪

♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪

♪ Three's company too ♪

♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪

♪ Three's company too ♪

Wow wee! Look at you.

I just did.

Jack, you gotta big date?

With a little luck.

Larry's taking me to check
out a new single's bar. Who-ah!

You guys got all the luck.

You don't have to just sit here
and wait for the phone to ring.

Is that what you're doing?

Personally, I don't care
if anybody calls or not.

[phone ringing]
I'll get it! I'll get it!

No, no, no. I can get
it, Jack! I can get it!

Hello, hello!

Oh, hi, it's you.
Yeah, Larry, sure.

Okay. Yeah, I'll tell him. Bye.

Hey, Jack, Larry
wants me to tell you

that he's gonna be a little
bit late getting down here!

Hey, Janet, you shouldn't
be stuck here at home.

Why don't you just pick up
the phone and call somebody?

What do you mean? Call
up a man and ask him out?

Ha! He'd think I was desperate.


He'll just think
you're after his body.

Jack. No, I'm only kidding.

So you don't wanna call. Okay.

Why don't you go down
to the Regal Beagle?

There are a lot of
single guys there.

To pick up a guy?

No, Janet, to mingle.
That's how you meet guys.

Look, you just mingle, you know.

Hi. Hello.


Did I bump you?

Oh, excuse mua.

My name is Janet Wood.

What's yours?


That is ridiculous.

Well, it always works on me.

Anything works on you.

Jack, there is this one guy
that I'd kinda like to meet.

It's that new bartender
down at the Beagle.

Oh, that guy, Bob?

Yeah, Bob.

Well, look, if you like him,

why don't you go on
down to the Beagle,

start talking to him and
then casually ask him out.

Jack, I am not going to ask
a man out and that's final.

Okay, forget it. I'm not
going to say another word.

Thank you. Please
don't. [doorbell rings]

Sorry, I'm late, but my
blow dryer shorted out

and I had to dry my
hair in the clothes dryer.

What? Yeah.

Works great, but it
sure gets you dizzy.

That explains a lot.
Will you get in here.

I'm trying to convince Janet
it's okay to ask a guy out.

Oh, Jack! It's okay, Janet.

You don't have to be
embarrassed in front of me.

It's no crime to be desperate.

What did I tell you?

Would you stop kidding around?

Janet, really thinks that a
woman shouldn't ask a guy out.

I'm sorry, pal, I'm
gonna have to go along

with the little
woman on that one.


The little woman!

Yeah. The whole
idea is ridiculous.

Do fish go angling
for the fishermen?

Who are you calling a fish?

Now, look, besides, if
women start asking men out,

next thing you know, they'll
decide where they want to go

and how much to spend...

And pretty soon they're
gonna want the right to vote.


All right, look, you
have your little joke,

but that's the way the world is.

I mean the man makes
the choice, not the woman.

Oh, really, Larry?

Well, in that case,
you had just better

keep your eyes on this woman,

cause I'm gonna go
down to the Regal Beagle,

and I'm gonna get a
date with that bartender

if I have to drag him
out of there myself.

Oh, Jack!

Me? Excuse me.


Please don't tell
anybody about this. Why?

Oh, I just feel kinda silly.

Okay, okay. Boy, I
hope you get a date soon.

You really are tense.

Look at all that tension.

Can we get going? All the
live ones are gonna be taken.

Let's move.

Hi, guys. Bye!

Wait a sec. Where's Janet?

Oh, she's in the
bedroom getting...

She's in the bedroom getting
ready to go down to the Beagle

to, uh, unwind.

She's really tense
and she has to relax.

Oh, poor Janet.

But don't say anything
about that to her.

Come on, Larry.
Moving out. Okay.

Terri, hi. I didn't even
hear you come in.

Hi, Janet. Jack said that you
were going down to the Beagle.

Do you mind if I tag along?

Oh, well, actually...

Great! Let's go! Oh, no, Terri.

Oh, come on, it'll be great.

Don't you worry about
a thing. Terri, uh...

Janet, would you just relax?

That's easier said than done.

I understand. Jack,
told me why you're here.

He did?

Oops, I'm sorry. I wasn't
supposed to mention it.

That big mouth.

Would you just forget Jack?

Now why don't we just
sit here and relax and...

Why do you keep
looking at that bartender?

Because I'm thirsty.

Why don't you just go up
there and tell him what you want.

You really think I should?

You'll never get what you
want if you don't ask for it.


You're right.

I'll just get right on
up there and do that.

I'm going on up there.

Hi, Bob.

Well, hi, uh...
Janet. Hi, Janet.

So what's your pleasure?

What do you mean?

What do you want to drink?

Oh, right.

What do I want to drink, right.

T... two white wines. Well,
they're not both for me.

One's for my
friend. My girl friend.

I have one, she's
Terri. Terri, hi.

She's right there.

You could just put
that right on my tab.

That would be Janet Wood's tab.


Did you want anything else?

Who me? Uh-huh.


Yes, there was
this... one small item.

You know how sometimes,

a person likes another person?


But they really don't
know exactly how to tell

the other person that they'd
like to go out with them?


You know what I mean? Uh-uh.

I knew this wasn't
going to work.

I should've never
listened to her.

See, my friend told me to
come over and talk to you,

and I'm real embarrassed.

Oh, now I understand.

You do?

Yeah, and you shouldn't
be embarrassed.

I mean, actually,
I'm very flattered.

You are? I am.

I'll tell you what.

You go back to the table,
I'll bring the drinks over.

Okay. It's a date.


Well, did you get what you want?

I sure did. Good.

Hi, girls. Hi.

Terri, this is Bob.
He's very nice.

Oh. Oh, hi, Bob. Oh, hi, Terri.

He's the bartender here.

Look, I'm through for
the night, and I'm starved.

Do you know any good
restaurants around here?

Well, actually there's a real
great one just down the street.

Right, Terri? Oh,
yeah. Great Italian food.

Well, terrific. So, how about
you and I grab a bite, Terri?


Are you alright?

Oh, yes. I'm fine.
I never felt better.

Well, here. Have
some water. Thank you.

Well, what do you say, Terri?

Well, as long as you're
a friend of Janet's, okay.


Are you sure you're alright?

Yes. Please don't
worry about me.

You guys go right
on ahead. I'm just fine.

If you say so. Mmm-hmm.

I'll see you at home,
Janet. Yeah, home.

Yeah, nice to meet you,
Janet, and thank you.


Well, how did it go tonight?

Did you talk to Bob? Yeah.

Did he ask for a date? Yeah.

See! What did I tell ya?!

Where'd you go? To a movie.

All this time at a movie?

Well, then a long walk.

Ooh, that sounds romantic.

It might have been, if I
had been with anybody.

Come again. I thought
you had a date with Bob.

So did I. What happened?

[singing] Hell-oo!

[singing] Ask her.

Terri, I was asking
Janet about Bob.

Oh, we had a fantastic time.

Well, that's ni...

Wait a minute. We?
You mean you and Bob?


Terri, Janet went down
to the Regal Beagle,

because she wanted
a date with Bob.

Oh, no.

I didn't know that.

Yes, you did. No, I didn't.

Yes, you did! Jack told you!

No, I didn't.

Don't lie, Jack. Terri
told me that you told her.

No he didn't. Yes, he did.

I think I know
what the problem is.

Janet, you told me
not to tell anybody

why you went down to the Beagle,

so I told Terri you just
went down there to relax.

So when she told you she
knew, she really didn't know,

only you didn't know
that and neither did she.

You understand?

Thank God.

Oh. Oh.

Excuse me. What about me?

I deserve a hug, cause I
straightened this mess out.

Don't forget the kid here.

Oh. Oh.

Uh-oh. I just
remembered something.

Maybe I can help you forget.


Maybe not. Excuse me.

Terri, what's the matter?

I told Bob that I would go out
with him again tomorrow night.

Oh. But don't
you worry about it.

I'll just cancel it.

No. Come on,
don't be ridiculous.

He's obviously interested in
you, not me. Go out with him.

Janet, I couldn't do
that. Of course you could.

And you wouldn't
mind? Of course not.

Are you sure?

Don't be silly. Of
course I'm sure.

Oh, good.

Do you believe that?

Believe what?

She's actually going
to go out with him.

Janet, you told her to.

No, I didn't. I heard you say...

Jack! I say a lot of
things I don't mean.

And I mean a lot of
things that I don't say.

And everything I say isn't
always everything that I mean!

You know what I mean?


You know what your
trouble is Jack Tripper?

You just don't understand women!


I'm sorry, Janet. I
didn't notice you.

I'm getting used to that.

Oh, boy. Am I beat.

Oh, and I've got that
date with Bob tonight.

You must've stayed out too late

on your date with
Bob last night.

Oh, I don't even know what
time it was when I came in.

Well, nobody's keeping track.

Must have been after one.


I didn't even notice.


What does that mean?

Nothing. Just, ha!

I felt like going, ha!

Do you mind if I go, ha,

when I feel like going ha!

[doorbell rings]

Be my guest. You can
even go, Mmm, if you want to.

Oh, hi, Lar. Hi, Terr.

Hey, how are my
two favorite girls?


What's the matter with
her? Oh, I bet I know.

Last night, huh, pumpkin.

Listen, kid, I hate
to break this to you,

there are some guys
out there who only want

one thing from a woman.

Frankly, if I can't
get it, I drop her.

What are you
babbling about Larry?

Bob, the bartender. Turned
out to be an animal, am I right?

Not even close, Larry. Bob
was a perfect gentleman.


Maybe she doesn't
like gentlemen.

Hey, Lar. Jacko, what
happened to you last night?

I turned around,
suddenly you're gone.

Well, you were having
such a good time...

Oh, is my little buddy jealous.

You should've stuck
around. I'm telling you.

You shouldn't give up so easy.

You would have
met somebody. I did.

If you wait eventually
they all flock... you did?

Yeah. Donna. The
tall blonde with the...

[gasps] I remember them. Her!

Anyway, I'm going to see her
again tonight. How'd you do?

Oh, great! I
stayed till the end.

Closed the place.
You missed all the fun.

I had a ball. A real ball.

You struck out, huh?

I like the way I put it better.

You're a real downer, Jack.

Can I talk to you, Jack?

Listen, I'm in a hurry. I wanna
shave before Donna gets here.

This is really important.

When Janet goes, "ha", does
that mean that she's angry?

Well, that depends. How
many teeth were showing?


Well, if she goes, "hm",
with no teeth, it's nothing.

But if she goes, "ha",
look out, she's really mad.

Gee, I wonder what
she's mad about.

Well, Terri, she's mad at you

for going out with Bob tonight.

But she told me
to go out with him.

And you believed
her? Well, of course.

Terri, you know
what your problem is?

You don't understand women.

What? You see, Terri...

What I see is that
Janet's angry at me

and I've gotta do
something to patch things up.

Oh, and I think I know how.

Good. Just remember, keep
your eyes on her teeth. Teeth.

If that's Donna, tell her I'll
be out in a moment, alright?

Oh, alright.

Oh, hiya, Bob. Come on in.

Hi, Terri. Listen, I got
a great night lined up.

There's a new jazz group
down at the Funky Fox.

I can't go. I gotta a
call from the hospital.


Well, yeah. I
mean, I understand.

Oh, but wait.

I have the most incredible idea.

I know the most wonderful
girl, and she loves jazz.

And by some strange coincidence,

she just happens
to be free tonight.

I don't know. She's beautiful.

Okay, I'll do it for you.

Why don't you just sit
down there and relax,

and I promise you, you
won't be disappointed.

Oh. Do you need to
get ready for your date?

I'll get out of your
way. No, no, no. Stay.

I'm not going out
with Bob after all.

Oh, did he break the date?

No, I did. Did you really?

But that's not
the very best part.

You see, I told Bob that
I couldn't go out with him

and that you'd be thrilled to.

So it's all set. You have
a date with Bob, tonight!

You fixed me up without
even asking me first?

Yeah. Are you surprised?

And you went and told
him that I would be thrilled?!


Do I look thrilled?!

I can get my own dates any
time I want. Thank you very much!

Well, you couldn't
get one last night.


Oh, I'm sorry.

Why are you sorry?
You're absolutely right.

Of course I couldn't get
my own date last night

not with you throwing
yourself at him!

Throwing myself at him? Yeah!

Well, I have just one
thing to say to that! What?

I'll tell you
when I think of it!

Hi, gorgeous.

I thought you were someone else.

I hope so.

Bob, right? I'm Jack Tripper.

I share the apartment
here. Sit down, please.

Uh... waiting for
your date, huh?


So where you going tonight?

Excuse me. I sound like
a worried father, don't I?


So where are you going tonight?

A local club. We
won't be out late, sir.

I did it again, didn't I?

Well, I better go see how
Terri's doing. Excuse me, son.


Come in!

Bob's waiting.

You playing hard to get?

That will be the day.

Janet. What?

I just thought of what it
was that I wanted to tell you.


Well, the same to you, missy.

Hey, aren't you girls afraid
your faces may freeze like that?

Remember how your
mother used to tell you

your face may freeze like that?

Although, it is
rather chilly in here.

Look, why don't you two just
calmly discuss this like adults.

It's all her fault!
She won't stop!

[voices overlapping]
[door bell rings]

Excuse me. I have to get
the doorbell, but keep talking.

That's the way.

Talk it out sanely, rationally.

Good. I'll get the door.

[arguing voices]

The girls are having a chat.

Donna, come in. You look great!

All set for the big
night? You bet.

Bob, this is Donna.

Hi. Hi.

[arguing voices overlap]

What's that yelling?

Oh, it's nothing serious.

It's just my roommates
trying to kill each other.

You don't have to
stand here. Have a seat.


Boy, was Terri right about you.

Haven't I seen you
somewhere before?

I don't think so. Do you
ever go to the Regal Beagle?

Well, sometimes.
You work there, right?

Yeah. Part-time as a bartender.

Oh, yeah. You make
a dynamite Pink Lady.


Only for dynamite ladies.

Oh, well, thank you.

That's better. That's better.

Now, why don't you both
say you're sorry, and make up?

I can't be sorry, Jack, because
I didn't steal anybody's date.

She didn't mean that.
Yes, I did, Jack Tripper!

I would never, never,
never stoop that low.

You don't have to stoop, shorty.



Well, I've never
been so insulted.

Terri, say you're
sorry. Fat chance!

Oh, come on. You
can be bigger than her.

I am.

She did it again!
Oh... I get it.

What's so funny?

Jack, stop laughing and
tell us what is so funny,

You two. The act
you're putting on. Ha!

You really had me going.

I believed you were
angry at each other. What?

How could I ever think that
two good friends like you

would ever fight over a
guy you hardly even know?


I mean it sounds so real.

"You stole my date!"
"Listen, shorty!"

Well. Well.

Yeah, well.

Listen, I gotta
ask you one thing.

When did you guys find
time to rehearse all this?

We didn't rehearse
it. No, no, um...

we were just making
it up as we went along.

I knew it!

Oh, gosh, Terri. We sure
had him going there, didn't we?

We sure did.

How could I ever think
that you'd get that upset

over one lousy date.

Date. Donna. Donna,
Donna, Donna.

Donna. Donna! Where you going?

Out with Bob. Maybe
another time, Jack, alright?

But I... Yeah, we gotta hurry.

We're gonna be late
for the show and Terri,

thank you for fixing
me up with a great girl.

You fixed him up with Donna?!

No, I just... She was my date!

Jack, come on, calm
down. I mean it's just a date.

She's not just a date.

Oh, come on, Jackie pooh,
you hardly know this girl.

I know, enough.

How could you get so
upset over one lousy date?

She's not a lousy
date! She's my date!

I found her!

Oh, Donna, that
makes me so happy.

I thought I'd never
see you again.

This is terrific. Okay.
Tomorrow night at eight.

And Donna, bless you.

Donna, Donna, Donna.

I'm sorry.

Don't be sorry I should
be... Donna! Donna.

What's the matter, Jack?
You still upset about that girl?

Yeah. I'll never see her again.


Is there anything we
can do to cheer you up?

I don't know.

Well, how about,
maybe a massage?

Oh, well..

You know, that
might help a little.

You take the neck.
I'll take the drumstick.

Divide me up any way you like.

Oh, yes. Yes, indeedy deedy.

That's wonderful.
[phone ringing]

I'll get the phone.

I'll save your place, Janet.

[Janet] Hello. How's that?

It's too early to tell. Uh-huh.

Hurry up, Janet. Terri's
getting ahead of you.

Okay, bye-bye.


Who called? Donna.

She says that you should pick
her up at 8:30 instead of 8:00.

No problem. Donna. Hey! Hey!

[theme music plays]

[Janet] Three's Company is
videotaped in front of a studio audience.