Three's Company (1976–1984): Season 3, Episode 12 - The Party's Over - full transcript

(theme music playing)

♪ COME AND KNOCK ON OUR DOOR ♪

♪ COME AND KNOCK ON OUR DOOR ♪

♪ WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU ♪

♪ WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU ♪

♪ WHERE THE KISSES ARE
HERS AND HERS AND HIS ♪

♪ THREE'S COMPANY TOO ♪

♪ COME AND DANCE ON OUR FLOOR ♪

♪ COME AND DANCE ON OUR FLOOR ♪

- ♪ TAKE A STEP THAT IS NEW ♪
- ♪ TAKE A STEP THAT IS NEW ♪

♪ WE'VE A LOVABLE SPACE
THAT NEEDS YOUR FACE ♪



♪ THREE'S COMPANY TOO ♪

♪ YOU'LL SEE THAT
LIFE IS A BALL AGAIN ♪

♪ LAUGHTER IS CALLING FOR YOU ♪

- ♪ DOWN AT OUR RENDEZVOUS ♪
- ♪ DOWN AT OUR RENDEZVOUS ♪

♪ THREE'S COMPANY TOO ♪

♪ DOWN AT OUR RENDEZVOUS ♪

♪ THREE'S COMPANY TOO. ♪

OH COME ON!

CHRISSY! JANET!

(groans)

(doorbell ringing)

HELP! MY NOSE IS CAUGHT!

JANET!

- AAH!
- HI, JACK. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?



MY NOSE IS CAUGHT IN
THE DOORBELL. COME ON!

JANET, COME HERE! LOOK AT JACK.

- THIS IS REALLY FUNNY.
- YEAH, IT'S REALLY FUNNY.

(laughs)

- JUST PLEASE GET THIS OUT.
- YES, OKAY, ALRIGHT.

OW!

WILL SOMEBODY GIVE ME A HAND
HERE? THESE BOTTLES ARE HEAVY.

I ALWAYS SAID YOU COULDN'T
HOLD YOUR LIQUOR, JACK.

- HERE.
- OKAY.

MY ARMS HAVE GROWN SIX INCHES!

IT'S BETTER THAN IF
THEY GREW A FOOT!

JACK, LISTEN, IS THIS ALL
THE STUFF THAT YOU GOT?

- THERE'S MORE DOWNSTAIRS. I'LL GO GET IT.
- WHATEVER YOU DO,

DON'T LET MR. ROPER SEE YOU. YOU
KNOW HOW HE FEELS ABOUT PARTIES.

DON'T WORRY, JANET. I
LEARNED CAMOUFLAGE

AND STALKING WHEN
I WAS A BOY SCOUT.

DID YOU GET ANY MERIT BADGES?

NO, BUT I GOT A COUPLE
OF CAMPFIRE GIRLS.

DON'T WORRY, IT'S AN OLD BOY
SCOUT TRICK IT CONFUSES THE ENEMY.

(squeaky voice) THANK YOU!

I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE
GOING TO ALL THIS TROUBLE FOR.

MR. ROPER IS BOUND TO FIND
OUT WE'RE HAVING A PARTY.

I KNOW, CHRISSY, BUT HE
WON'T FIND OUT UNTIL TONIGHT,

AND THEN IT'LL BE TOO LATE
FOR HIM TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.

- YEAH, BUT I FEEL SO GUILTY.
- CHRISSY, WE'RE NOT DOING
ANYTHING WRONG.

- WE'RE ONLY
HAVING A PARTY.
- YEAH...

IT'S THE FIRST ONE
WE'VE HAD IN OVER A YEAR.

- THAT'S TRUE.
- YEAH.

OUR FRIENDS HAVE BEEN ASKING
US TO PARTIES ALL YEAR LONG, RIGHT?

AND IF WE DON'T INVITE
THEM TO AT LEAST ONE PARTY,

THEN WE'LL BE LUCKY IF
WE HAVE ANY FRIENDS LEFT.

- YOU THINK SO?
- SURE.

OUR SOCIAL LIFE WOULD JUST
DWINDLE RIGHT DOWN TO NOTHING.

- THAT'S TRUE.
- WE'D BE LIVING
LIKE NUNS.

WOULD THAT MAKE JACK A MONK?

- HI, JACK.
- HI! HI! HI!

- HI, MR. ROPER.
- BEEN SHOPPING?

NO, JUST GETTING A
COUPLE OF SNACKS.

- A LOT OF WINE THERE.
- WELL...

THAT'S ENOUGH FOR A WHOLE PARTY.

A PARTY? OH NO, NO, NO.

IT'S JUST SOME COOKING WINE.

WHAT ARE YOU
COOKING, AN ELEPHANT?

(laughs) YOU'RE SO
FUNNY! AN ELEPHANT!

- ACTUALLY...
- LET ME GIVE YOU A HAND WITH THAT.

- OH NO, YOU DON'T HAVE TO.
- NO, GO AHEAD, JACK.

- YOU DON'T...
- IT'S OKAY.

DO WE HAVE ANY OF THOSE...

WHAT DO YOU CALL THEM,
THOSE BACON-FLAVORED THINGS?

PIGS?

Jack: MR. ROPER, YOU DON'T
HAVE TO COME INTO THE KITCHEN.

- NO, THANKS.
- IT'S ROPER.

- ROPER? CHRISSY,
HIDE THE FOOD!
- OKAY.

- HI!
- HI, THERE!

- WHAT'S ALL THIS?
- OH, IT'S FOOD.

I KNOW IT'S FOOD,

- BUT FOR WHAT?
- FOR EATING.

BUT IT'S NOT JUST FOR YOU.

OH YES, IT IS! SEE?

YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY?

PERISH THE THOUGHT!

- ARE YOU
HAVING A PARTY?
- A PARTY?!

- NOT US.
- Janet: YES.

OH YES, YES...

YES, OF COURSE,
WE'RE HAVING A PARTY.

WHY, IT'S THE ONE
WE INVITED YOU TO.

- NOBODY INVITED ME.
- (gasps)

DID YOU FORGET TO CALL?

ME?

OH NO, I DIDN'T FORGET TO CALL,

'CAUSE JACK WAS SUPPOSED TO
CALL. DID YOU FORGET TO CALL?

YOU KIDS AREN'T
FOOLING ME FOR A MINUTE.

NO... WHAT... MR. ROPER, I
WAS JUST ABOUT TO CALL.

IN FACT, LOOK, IF YOU
HURRY DOWNSTAIRS,

YOU'LL BE JUST IN TIME
TO ANSWER YOUR PHONE.

HOLD IT. HOLD IT.

I'M GOING TO TELL YOU WHAT I
TOLD YOU AFTER THE LAST PARTY.

- NO MORE PARTIES!
- MR. ROPER,

I KNOW OUR LAST PARTY
WAS A LITTLE NOISY...

A LITTLE NOISY?

IT WAS A RIOT! IT WOKE ME UP.

YOU KNOW WHAT IT TAKES TO
WAKE ME UP? JUST ASK MRS. ROPER.

NO, NO, NO, YOU BETTER NOT.

ANYWAY, NO MORE PARTIES!

- BUT MR. ROPER...
- NO!

THAT'S AN ORDER
FROM YOUR LANDLORD!

WHAT DO WE DO?

I GUESS WE'LL HAVE TO
APPEAL TO A HIGHER COURT.

- MRS. ROPER?
- EXACTLY.

NOW WE HAVE TO DECIDE WHICH
ONE OF US IS GOING TO DO IT.

- OKAY.
- YOU OR CHRISSY.

DUMB KIDS.

Bird: DUMB KIDS. DUMB KIDS.

YOU'RE A GOOD BIRD.

YOU'RE A SMART BIRD TOO.

WE DON'T LIKE NOISY
PARTIES, DO WE?

MAKES OUR FEATHERS FALL OUT.

PLAY WITH YOUR LITTLE TOY-TOY.

COME ON.

SAY IT... "STANLEY,
STANLEY." COME ON.

- "STANLEY."
- (knock on door)

EXCUSE ME.

OH, IT'S YOU.

LISTEN, IF YOU CAME DOWN TO
TRY AND GET ME TO CHANGE MY MIND,

- YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME.
- I DIDN'T.

I CAME HERE TO
TALK TO MRS. ROPER.

OH. COME ON IN.

WAIT A MINUTE. I'M ON
TO YOUR LITTLE GAME.

IT'S NOT GOING TO DO
YOU ANY GOOD. NO PARTIES!

WELL, CAN I JUST TALK
TO HER FOR A MINUTE?

I SAID IT WON'T DO YOU ANY GOOD.
THERE'S ONLY ONE BOSS AROUND HERE.

IT'S NOT NICE TO TALK
ABOUT ME BEHIND MY BACK.

HI, CHRISSY. WHAT
BRINGS YOU HERE?

WELL, MRS. ROPER, WE'RE
HAVING A PARTY TONIGHT,

- AND WE'D LIKE
TO INVITE YOU.
- OH, HOW NICE!

WAIT A MINUTE. THAT'S NOT FAIR.

- I ALREADY TOLD THEM
THEY COULDN'T HAVE A PARTY.
- IS THAT YOUR FINAL WORD?

- YEAH.
- GOOD.

THEN WE WON'T HAVE TO
HEAR ANY MORE FROM YOU.

I'D LOVE TO COME, CHRISSY.

- OH GOOD.
- AND THANKS
FOR THE INVITATION.

YOU'RE WELCOME. BYE, MR. ROPER.

- HELEN, YOU'RE GOING
AGAINST MY WISHES.
- DON'T BE SILLY, STANLEY.

- IT'S JUST
A LITTLE PARTY.
- AND OUR WEDDING SERVICE SAID,

"LOVE, HONOR AND OBEY."
IT DIDN'T SAY, "LOVE, HONOR

AND MAKE STANLEY
LOOK LIKE A JERK"!

THAT'S BECAUSE GOD HAD
ALREADY TAKEN CARE OF THAT PART.

YOU'RE MAKING ME LOOK
FOOLISH IN FRONT OF THE KIDS.

NOW THEY'RE GONNA BE
UPSTAIRS LAUGHING AT ME.

AND AT 8:00, I'LL JOIN THEM!

NO, YOU WON'T.

YOU'LL BE DOWNSTAIRS,
IN THE BEDROOM WITH ME!

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE
WHERE I LAUGH?

(disco music plays)

- (music stops)
- IT'S AFTER 10:00.

- WHERE IS EVERYBODY?
- IT'S AN OMEN!

IF YOU GIVE A PARTY
AND NOBODY SHOWS UP,

IT MEANS BAD LUCK
IS COMING YOUR WAY.

NO, CHRISSY, COME ON.
THAT'S AN OLD WIFE'S TALE.

IT IS NOT! I HEARD IT
FROM JOAN FRASIER,

AND SHE'S ONLY 24!

LISTEN, I HAVE AN
IDEA, OKAY? READY?

WHY DON'T WE JUST START
THE PARTY WITHOUT THEM?

- LET'S DO THAT!
- GOOD IDEA!

COME ON, EVERYBODY, LET'S EAT!

YOU KNOW, I REALLY
BELIEVE THAT ANY MINUTE

ALL OF OUR FRIENDS ARE JUST GONNA
COME BARGING RIGHT THROUGH THAT DOOR!

OR MAYBE NOT.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT'S
HAPPENING. THEY ALL SAID THEY'D COME!

- WAIT A SECOND. HERE'S A CAR!
- Janet: THERE IS?

- IT'S MARGO AND TOM!
- (cheers)

YEAH, BUT THEY'RE ALWAYS
THE LAST ONES TO COME.

THIS TIME THEY'RE THE FIRST
ONES. MAYBE IT'S A SURPRISE PARTY!

(plays music)

OKAY, MRS. ROPER, LET'S SHOW THEM
WE'RE GONNA HAVE A SWINGING TIME!

- OH, WHY NOT?
- GETTING DOWN!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WHAT DO WE NEED
WITH OTHER PEOPLE?

JACK! HEY, JACK, THEY'RE
GETTING BACK IN THEIR CAR!

- ARE YOU KIDDING?
- NO.

MARGO! TOM!

CHRISSY, WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT?

MAYBE THEY DIDN'T THINK
THEY WERE LATE ENOUGH.

WELL...

THIS IS SURE A LOT DIFFERENT
THAN THE LAST PARTY WE THREW.

- YEAH, EVERYBODY
CAME EARLY.
- YEAH.

GOSH, THERE MUST HAVE
BEEN 75 PEOPLE HERE.

- REMEMBER THE BED
COLLAPSED?
- REALLY?

- ALL THOSE COATS.
- OH YEAH.

HI!

WHAT'S THE MATTER?
COULDN'T YOU CATCH THEM?

NO, I CAUGHT THIS INSTEAD. THIS WAS
STUCK TO THE STAIRCASE DOWNSTAIRS.

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE!
LET ME SEE THAT.

THAT'S STANLEY'S HANDWRITING.

(gasps) OH NO!

THIS TIME, HE'S GONE TOO FAR!

- WHAT IS IT, JACK?
- WHAT DOES IT SAY?

"SORRY, FOLKS, PARTY CANCELLED.

- HAD TO LEAVE TOWN."
- AW...

- THAT...
- GO AHEAD, CHRISSY, SAY IT FOR ALL OF US!

THAT... ROPER!

YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ME, YOU KNOW?

YOU TRIED TO PRETEND YOU
WERE LEAVING ME ONCE BEFORE,

BUT YOU COULDN'T
DO IT. REMEMBER?

IT WAS JUST A BLUFF.

I KNOW WHAT IT IS.
YOU'RE UPSET, AREN'T YOU?

I CAN ALWAYS TELL. IT'S THE
ONLY TIME YOU STOP TALKING.

YOU TOAD!

WELL, THAT'S BETTER.
NOW WE'RE COMMUNICATING.

ALL THIS JUST BECAUSE
I STOPPED THE PARTY?

THIS IS JUST THE STRAW THAT
BROKE THE CAMEL'S BACK, STANLEY!

NOW I'VE GOT TO
GET AWAY FROM YOU.

I'M GOING TO GO AND
STAY WITH MY SISTER.

HELEN, YOU'RE JUST BEING SILLY.

HELEN?

HOW FAR ARE YOU GOING
TO CARRY THIS BLUFF?

OH, COME ON, JACK. GIVE IT UP.

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO GET ANYBODY
TO COME BACK HERE FOR A PARTY NOW.

YEAH, I'M ALREADY HERE
AND I DON'T WANT TO COME.

DON'T WORRY. THIS IS BETTY.
BETTY'S CRAZY ABOUT ME.

SHE'LL CALL A COUPLE A GIRLFRIENDS,
THEY'LL CALL A COUPLE OF FELLAS...

HELLO, BETTY? JACK TRIPPER HERE.

HI. NO, WE'RE HOME.

SOME PRACTICAL
JOKER PUT UP THAT SIGN.

THE PARTY'S STILL ON!

SO HOW ABOUT COMING
OVER HERE RIGHT NOW?

YOU'RE UNDRESSED AND IN BED?

WELL, HOW ABOUT ME COMING
OVER THERE RIGHT NOW?

HELLO, BETTY? BETTY?

(screams)

OH BOY.

- (knock on door)
- Mr. Roper: OPEN UP!

- IT'S ROPER!
- OH THAT FINK!

- Janet:
DON'T LET HIM IN!
- OF COURSE I'LL LET HIM IN,

THEN I'M GONNA LET HIM HAVE IT!

Both: I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY!

DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID?!

- YOU SPOILED OUR PARTY!
- MY WIFE LEFT ME!

ALL OF OUR FRIENDS...
WHAT DID YOU SAY?

I SAID MY WIFE LEFT ME,
AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT.

- OUR FAULT?
- YEAH, FILLING HER HEAD
WITH THOSE CRAZY IDEAS.

- WE DIDN'T DO
ANY SUCH THING.
- Mr. Roper: YOU MUST HAVE.

WHY WOULD SHE LEAVE A MAN
LIKE ME IF SHE WASN'T CRAZY?

YOU'RE UPSET NOW. YOU'RE
SAYING THINGS YOU DON'T MEAN.

LET HER STAY AWAY. IT'LL
BE A VACATION FOR ME.

COME ON, YOU DON'T MEAN THAT.

WHY IS EVERYBODY TELLING
ME WHAT I DON'T MEAN?!

I KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
AND WHAT I MEAN IS,

I LIKE BEING ALONE.

I CAN DO WHAT I FEEL
LIKE, WHEN I FEEL LIKE IT,

WHERE I FEEL LIKE IT,
AND HOW I FEEL LIKE IT!

I FEEL HUNGRY.

WHAT?

HELEN DIDN'T MAKE ME
DINNER BEFORE SHE LEFT.

- WELL...
- THANKS.

YOU GOT A LITTLE
WINE TO GO WITH THIS?

I FINISHED ANSWERING
MRS. ROPER'S LETTER.

DID SHE SAY ANYTHING ABOUT
WHEN SHE'S COMING BACK?

UH-HUH. WHEN PIGS GROW WINGS.

THAT COULD TAKE WEEKS.

YEAH, WELL I HOPE NOT. I CAN'T
TAKE MUCH MORE OF ROPER.

- HE'S UP HERE
ALL THE TIME.
- I KNOW, I KNOW.

- I'M GONNA GO MAIL MY LETTER.
- OH, JANET, WAIT A SECOND.

WAIT. LISTEN... IF
YOU RUN INTO ROPER,

DON'T INVITE HIM UP HERE. HE'S NOT
MOOCHING ANY MORE MEALS OFF OF US.

JACK, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO
INVITED HIM UP HERE LAST TIME.

WHAT ELSE COULD I DO?

HE WAS STANDING
WITH A KNIFE AND A FORK

STICKING OUT OF
HIS SHIRT POCKET!

Roper: ANYBODY HOME?

CHRISSY, GET UNDER THE COUCH.

- HEY...
- GET RID OF HIM!

DID SOMEBODY SAY "COME IN"?

- I'M GOING
TO MAIL A LETTER.
- WELL, GOOD GOOD.

IS HE GONE YET?

NO.

OH, HI, MR. ROPER!
GET DOWN, CHRISSY!

KEEP LOOKING.

IT MIGHT HAVE ROLLED
UNDER THE COUCH.

I LOST A SOCK.

- YOU THINK
IT ROLLED AWAY?
- IT WAS IN A BALL...

IS THERE ANYTHING
WE CAN DO FOR YOU?

- I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT
LIKE SOME COMPANY.
- OH NO, THANKS.

THAT'S NICE OF YOU, BUT
WE'RE VERY BUSY. KEEP LOOKING!

BOY, THAT SMELLS GOOD.

THANK YOU. IT'S
JUST A LITTLE DINNER.

IT'S JUST BARELY ENOUGH
FOR THE THREE OF US.

I WASN'T HINTING FOR YOU
TO GIVE ME SOMETHING TO EAT.

I HAVE PLENTY TO EAT DOWNSTAIRS.

I'VE GOT PEANUT
BUTTER AND BREAD, AND...

AND A KNIFE.

WELL, THAT'S GOOD.

THAT SMELLS GOOD.

SO DO YOU. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?

- I THINK I'LL GO.
- SO SOON?

YEAH... I GOT TO GO.

OKAY.

MR. ROPER'S STARTING A
NEW TAKE-OUT BUSINESS.

- WHAT?
- I'VE HEARD OF CHICKEN
IN A BUCKET,

BUT I'VE NEVER SEEN
CHICKEN IN A POCKET!

WHAT?

- DID YOU GET THE LETTER
OFF ALL RIGHT?
- YEAH.

IT WAS REAL EASY.

I STUCK IT IN THE SLOT, OPENED MY
FINGERS, AND IT FELL RIGHT DOWN.

CAN I TALK TO YOU PRIVATELY?

OH WELL, MR. ROPER,
I GOT TO GET UP...

PLEASE?

OH... SURE. WHY NOT?

OH.

HERE. SIT DOWN. THE
PLACE IS A MESS, ISN'T IT?

IT'S NOT SO BAD.

HELEN REALLY USED
TO KEEP IT NEAT.

- I'LL SAY THAT
FOR HER.
- AW...

- YOU MISS HER,
DON'T YOU?
- ME?

NAH. NOT AT ALL.

- YOU DON'T?
- NO.

- BUT HE MISSES HER.
- (bird cackles)

I HEAR HIM AT
NIGHT, LYING AWAKE,

TOSSING AND
TURNING, MISSING HER.

HE LIKES HER, HUH?

NOW THAT SHE'S GONE,

HE REALIZES HOW
MUCH HE LIKES HER.

HOW ABOUT A TELEPHONE
CALL ASKING HER TO COME BACK?

I DON'T LET HIM USE THE PHONE.

WELL, YOU COULD
CALL HER FOR HIS SAKE.

JANET, TELL ME SOMETHING.

IF YOU WERE HELEN,

- WOULD YOU
COME BACK TO ME?
- NO.

WELL, I MEAN, NO, NOT THE
WAY YOU'RE LOOKING NOW.

BUT IF YOU COMBED YOUR HAIR,

AND YOU GOT ALL DRESSED UP...

- THEN YOU'D COME BACK?
- I WOULDN'T.

BUT SHE MIGHT. SURE, SHE MIGHT.

(bird whistles)

I LOOK GOOD, HUH?

I'M GOING TO GO
BRING HELEN BACK.

I'M GOING TO GO TO HER SISTER'S.

SHE'S GOING TO COME OUT AND SAY,

"OH STANLEY!"

AND I'M GOING TO SAY, "HELEN...

I LOVE YOU."

YEAH, WHAT THE HELL!
HELEN, I LOVE YOU!

I'M GOING TO GO TO THE DOOR...

AND I'M GOING TO SAY...

- "YOU'RE COMING
WITH ME, WOMAN!"
- I BEG YOUR PARDON?

OH I'M SORRY.

- YOU'RE MRS... FROM THE PET SHOP.
- YES, MRS. HOLLINS.

OH, COME IN.

- I DIDN'T RECOGNIZE YOU
WITH YOUR CLOTHES ON.
- MR. ROPER!

I MEAN, I USUALLY SEE
YOU WITH THAT SMOCK.

YOU LEFT THIS
BEHIND AT THE SHOP.

- IT'S THE VITAMINS
FOR YOUR PARAKEET.
- OH. THANK YOU.

- HOW'S YOUR
PARAKEET DOING?
- NOT TOO GOOD.

I'M LONELY... I MEAN...

- HE'S LONELY.
- AW...

CAN I HAVE A LOOK AT
THE POOR LITTLE THING?

SURE. SURE.

I'M JUST... I WAS JUST SO
HAPPY WHEN YOU CALLED ME.

I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

- HE REALLY MISSES ME?
- OH, MRS. ROPER,

AT NIGHT WE HEAR THESE GURGLING
SOBS COMING FROM DOWNSTAIRS.

THAT'S THE TOILET.

NO, THAT'S MR. ROPER.

- HE'S NOT THE MAN
HE USED TO BE.
- HE NEVER WAS.

THE IMPORTANT THING
IS, HE MISSED YOU.

MAYBE I HAVE BEEN
A LITTLE HASTY.

SHOULD I GIVE HIM
ANOTHER CHANCE?

- IS HE WORTH IT?
- OF COURSE!

NO, HE'S NOT.

BUT HE'S MINE.

- HELEN.
- STANLEY...

STANLEY, DON'T SAY A WORD NOW.

DON'T SAY ANYTHING. JUST LISTEN.

NOW... IF TWO PEOPLE
LOVE EACH OTHER,

DOES IT MATTER WHETHER
THEY LIKE EACH OTHER?

I MEAN, ALL THE TIME.

ISN'T THAT WHAT
LOVE IS ALL ABOUT?

HERE WE ARE! NOTHING
LIKE SOME VITAMINS

- TO PEP A FELLOW UP!
- OH.

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD COMPANY.

- HELEN, I CAN EXPLAIN.
- I'M MRS. HOLLINS.

I JUST CAME OVER TO
SEE HIS LITTLE FRIEND.

OH. (laughs)

IT'S NOT WHAT YOU
THINK. YOU'D BETTER GO.

I CAN STRAIGHTEN OUT
THIS WHOLE MESS, SOMEHOW.

- NICE MEETING YOU.
- LIKEWISE.

BYE!

BEFORE YOU LOSE YOUR
TEMPER, YOU GOT TO BELIEVE ME.

- NOTHING HAPPENED!
- I KNOW.

YOU DON'T KNOW. I'M A MAN!

I'M CAPABLE.

GIVEN TIME...

YOU CAUGHT ME
WITH ANOTHER WOMAN.

YOU SHOULD BE SHOCKED AND UPSET.

OKAY, SO I'M SHOCKED AND UPSET.

THAT'S BETTER.

COME ON, STANLEY, I
DIDN'T COME BACK HOME

TO FIGHT WITH YOU.
I CAME BACK TO...

TO FORGIVE AND FORGET.

THANK YOU.

I'M GLAD YOU CAME BACK.

THANK YOU, STANLEY.

AND NOW COMES THE
BEST PART OF THE FIGHT.

WHAT'S THAT?

MAKING UP.

COME ON, LOVER.

I KNEW THERE WAS A CATCH.

THESE PAST FEW DAYS
HAVE BEEN FANTASTIC!

STANLEY HAS BEEN SO ATTENTIVE

AND SO LOVING AND SO ROMANTIC!

I FEEL LIKE A BRIDE
ON HER HONEYMOON!

- MRS. ROPER,
THAT'S WONDERFUL.
- YEAH, I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU.

OH, HEY, I GOT HIM TO
LET YOU GIVE YOUR PARTY!

- YOU DID?
- THAT'S FANTASTIC!

- HOW DID YOU
PERSUADE HIM TO DO THAT?
- OH, JUST A LITTLE BRIBERY.

- WHAT DID YOU GIVE HIM?
- A NIGHT OFF.

(theme music playing)

Ritter's voice: "THREE'S
COMPANY" WAS VIDEOTAPED

IN FRONT OF A STUDIO AUDIENCE.