Three's Company (1976–1984): Season 2, Episode 3 - Janet's Promotion - full transcript
When the manager at the flower shop quits, Jack and Chrissy tell Janet that she should try to get the manager's spot. However, the owner of the shop hires a girl with large breasts as manager. Janet decides to fight fire with fire and announces that she's going to have her figure enhanced.
♪ Come and knock on our door
♪ we've been waiting for you
♪ where the kisses are hers and hers and his
♪ three's company too
♪ come and dance on our floor
♪ take a step that is new
♪ we've a lovable space that needs your face
♪ three's company too
♪ you'll see that life is a ball again
♪ laughter is calling for you
♪ down at our rendezvous
♪ three's company too
Hey Stanley you want to hear something?
Was that a yes or a no...
That's what I thought you said
- What was that?
- Oh that's just the kids upstairs
They got no respect for this property
The man who built this place had no respect for this property
Well not yet Helen
This house means a lot to me
How come you never say that about me?
You're not in a rising market
Neither are you
There goes that banging again
Oh..., come on a little of
that never hurt anybody
Well it gives me a headache
- I go up there
- Oh come, on Stanley come on sit down
I want to show you something
In the magazine
Look now this is an article about
- Cosmetic surgery
- Cosmetic surgery?
- Yeah,
- You mean they have to operate
To remove your makeup?
It's about face lifting
See they're doing marvelous things
At this year sunset Pines hospital
they, they remove the bags from under your eyes
They take away the sag under your chin
What can They do about your mouth?
Seriously Stanley wouldn't you like to
- To look younger?
- Me? what can I
Look at this face
Does this face look like it needs lifting?
It's a derrick
Well I'm gonna keep it just the way it is
If you don't mind I'm sure you've
heard the old saying
you don't ever fool around
with mother nature
Then how did she get to be a mother
what are those girls doing up there?
What do you mean
Jack lives up there too you know?
know that's what I said what
are those girls doing up
- What's that?
- It's not ferocious enough Chrissy
And karate you have to make
your opponent think
You are totally without
fear and I'd do it again
let me see some anger this one
Get mad
Oh, you scared me
I'm supposed to scare you
In the martial arts there's got
to be an element of surprise
okay surprise me but first let me know
when you're gonna do it
Let me show you how karate can really come in handy all right
All right I'll be a weak
helpless girl at a bus stop
- And you be a rough drunken sailor
- Okay
Now you spring out of nowhere
and try to attack me all right
Okay, but don't let me hurt you
Here we go
Oh, where's that bus?
- Hallo, baby
- That's it. Now force me down, yeah!
Oh!
You're not resisting
I happen to be one of those girls
Who likes rough drunken sailors Chrissy let go me let go
Jack! Jack! Oh, don't.....
All right, Breakin' up, breakin' up, breakin' up!
Oh, sorry!
Chrissy, let go, me! Let go, Chrissy!
It wasn't what it looked like really
Right I was just showing Chrissy
A foolproof defense against
the sex-crazed attacker
Oh that's very useful especially while
we're living with one
No kidding okay I think every girl should learn it
Now Janet, suppose some good guy grabs
you like this what are you gonna do
This...
You did that all wrong Janet oh you were
- Yeah, you were supposed to yeid, yaaa...!
- Oh, I'll remeber that next time
Why you have tell her that?
She'll kill me the next time
Aw aw, uhhh... I may never slice carrots again
Oh, hi mr. Roper
would you two mind not jumping on a ceiling
We'e not jumping on the ceiling
we're jumping on the floor
Well your heappen to be over my ceiling
And my ceiling is over my head
So when you were jumping on your floor
you are jumping on my head
We will be more careful next time
- What are you doing
- I'm loosening up my wrist
I didn't know you
guys had a practice
Oh, here comes that big bully again
Oh, that is a bundle of over
time to take home Janet
Oh, yes. Tell me about it
When that creep manager quit the flower
shop he left everything in a real mess
Now I gotta straighten it out
Well I hope your boss appreciates
what you're doing especially
- When he picks the new manager
- Oh, come on guys...
- That'll say the chance of getting that job
- Oh, why not
mr. Compton is a galloping male chauvinist
every single store in his
chain is a man for a manager
- Come on Janet, he's a businessman isn't he?
- Yeah?
And when he compares your ability
to others
He won't care if you're male or female
He's naturally gonna pick the best man
orders anyone
Got a little cheese to tide you ladies over until dinner
Whoo thank you
You know Janet, you shouldn't give up that
manager's job
Without a fight, you've got to think positive
Come on Jack I can't buck the system
I'm surprised at you where would
all the great women of history be
If they thought like that look at Joan of Arc
And what she accomplished and and
Florence Nightingale and Madame Curie
and Lucretia Borgia
She poisoned people
Yeah, but she was very good at it
Here chew, don't talk
Now Janet, listen to me.
You've got everything it takes
To make a sensational manager, you've got
knowledge experience aggressiveness
- Your boss has got to see that
- Jack you don't know him like
You can do it! You can do it!
Yeah, you can do it!
You can do it! You can do it!
You can...., you can
You can do it! You can do it!
You can...., you can
Hitck a cik kaboom! Hitck a cik kaboom!
Right, Janet, you got to stay positive
Wow wo wow..
Ask it, wee, wee,
Ask it run......
I don't know the rest though, ha, ha, ha!
Chrissy, Chrissy chew chew, ra, bra, bra...
Seriously Janet, Chrissy and I believe in you
Why can't you you're right you are
You right
You are right, Gee,there's no reason
why I can't get that job
- All right
- Oh thank you Jack, you're a dog huh
Oh you find out, huh?
- That's enough, Jack!
- I'm a dog, Lady hound
Jack, thats enough oh... Jack, uh!
She got what a stroke....
Hey,hey. I don't care what you say
mister Panatela
The tulips you delivered
are not the same ones I picked out
At the market this morning
These look like they just swam
over from Holland
Hey mister Panatela I'm not gonna pay you
One set for these flowers
Meet in the middle?
Oh, all right all right you take
half off the bill for Goodwill
And I'll take the other half
off the lousy flowers. Thank you
Janet, will you look at these
Oh Chloe, those look great
- You are really getting the hang of it
- Oh thank you
Yeah, just one little problem Chloe
The rest in peace goes to the cemetery
And the have fun goes to the Mexican cruise ship was
Oh...
, sorry down wasn't it
Wait, it was down wasn't it?
Oh come on Chloe you're doing terrific
For somebody who's only been here a week
Really, easy a,hmmm...
Just stay out of the refrigerator Chloe
in that outfit you catch pneumonia
Excuse me can I help you with something madam
- Huh, don't like these not at all
- E..why not?
They don't look natural you got
the other kind?
- The other kind?
- The plastic ones
Now they look natural
Well we had a few but they all died
Oh, that so pitty
Usually they last forever
- Janet baby
- Oh, hi mr. Compton
How's the little girl with the big brown eyes
My eyes are up here mr. Compton
So I got bad day
Soon how's the new girl I sent you
she's shaping up?
She shaped up before she got here
- What's that?
- Ah, oh she's great she's fine
I really like her she's very conscientious
Listen Janet, I appreciate what you've been doing is
Since that jerk walked out you're a champ
- A real champ
- Really?
Absolutely and I got a big surprise for you
- A surprise?
- Hm
- Oh
- Hi, how is it kind nice to see you again
Oh Chloe you look terrifico
- And I love that dress
- Oh, it isn't that much
I know
E... by the way Chloe, Janet tells me
- You're doing a good job here
- Oh, I'm trying but Janet's been a big help
She's a terrific person
Oh, mr. Compton what about that surprised?
Right, well I decided not to hire a guy
- To run this place after all
- No kidding?
- So Janet
- Yes, mr. Compton
Meet your new manager
A little wine for the occasion
Chateau supermarket
Hey, aren't we jumping the gun
with the celebration dinner
I mean, suppose Janet didn't get the job
think positive she got the job
Aha, there she is!
Miss Rose Pedal of 1977
- You try to be funny
- I'm sorry, mr. Roper
I thought you were Janet
I've come on klog you
You're not touching me with that thing
You really a very strange person
You see, Come on!
Think she got the job
It's hard to tell who are
Huuu, are you ready for this?
That creep Compton gave the job to Chloe Scoutmyer!
Oh No, who's Chloe's Scoutmyers!
She's a girl we just hired!
Oh what she got, that you haven't got?
Arthritis?
Oh you, you and your positive thinking
Jack I didn't need your help here
- I needed it down here
- Oh, that is terrible
- What a dumb way to pick a new manager
- Yeah yeah yeah
You probably would have done the same
thing you men are all alike
You know wait a minute it just so happens
I hardly notice boss at all
I never think about that stuff
As far as I'm concerned this girl
who got the manager's job, this Chesty
- That's Chloe
- I mean Chloe
Oh, Janet is right your manner, all right
Would you two stop exaggerating Janet
you're making mountains out of mole hills
I wish I hadn't said that eh.....
I'll make the salad for you and...
Oh Janet I am so sorry
- You didn't get the job
- Oh Thank You Chrissy
You know when I first started high school
I had absolutely no figure at all
I kept praying I would blossom one day
One day the teacher asked the class to locate
The great American flatlands
Every single boy in class pointed to me boy
Oh boy, you must have die
You know is that stupid male
attitude we had to grow up with
I know I know
if we didn't need training bras
by the time we were 10 our lives were ruined
Why are guys so hung up on a big bosom?
It's because they're all brainwashed
Hey look in this magazine here
There's not an ad in here
that doesn't have cleavage
Do you honestly need a blonde in a bikini
to sell a sports car
Aha, or a redhead in a wet t-shirt
to sell a lawn sprinkler or
Well look at this one,
I mean is it really necessary to show a woman
In her underwear?
That's an ad for underwear
Oh....
Well this whole thing is giving me a headache
I think I'll go lie down for a while
- Oh, Janet
- No please Chrissy
I really don't want to talk about it anymore
Okay
Oh, hi Chrissy look I wondered if I could
ask you kids,
- To do me a favor
- Oh sure come on in
- Hi, mrs. Ropper
- oh oh oh hi jack
Well look, I just, I just came up
to let you know
That I might be going away
For a week or so to visit relatives
Oh how nice, where?
- Sunset Pines hospital
- Hah?
I mean San Francisco
And, oh.... well, anyway
I just thought you might, e...
Keep an eye on Stanley while I'm gone
- Why? What's he gonna do?
- Nothing as usual
You see he might get lonely
Do you know that he's never been left alone
- Since he was a child
- He was left alone as a child?
Yes, but then the police went
And found his parents and made them
come back home
Mrs. Ropper, you said something about
visiting relatives in a hospital
uh oh. yeah...... oh well
I guess I can tell you
but I want to keep it a secret
from mr. Roper
see, I want to surprise him
Oh, I don't think that
you should tell us then either
Tell us, tell us...
Well I'm thinking about having a facelift
A facelift?
I got the idea from this magazine here
Oh That's kind of a big step to take isn't it?
Yeah, but it'll be worth it
I... I'll come back looking like a new woman
And then, and then Stanley
will feel like he's cheating on me and
That always turns a man on, right?
- Have you gone nuts?
- Oh, Stanley
- I didn't know you were up here
- Obviously
I'm doing it for you
I'll come back all smooth and pretty
If I wanted somebody smooth and pretty
I would have married somebody like that
I think he meant that as a compliment
Look Helen maybe I don't say it often enough
But I love you just the way you are
So don't change, huh.....
Oh......
So come down tair as
quickly as you can, huh
If you know what I mean
There's no hurry Hellen
Name that to doesn't go on for help, you know?
I better go see about the rest of dinner
- Oh you made your wife real happy
- Yeah,
I mean you'd really be upset
if she had a facelift wouldn't you?
Go on right you know what those things cost?
What's going on out here
Oh mr. mrs. Roper were having an argument
About her having a facelift
Where does she get a dumb idea like that?
In this magazine it's all about
How women can completely
make themselves over
Get a new nose new rear-ends
a new bust to...
the new bust?
Let me see that dumb magazine
- Hi
- Hi
how things go work today with a new manager
Oh, I didn't go to work today I went to see a doctor
- What about
- A bust job
- What
- Bust job bust job...!
I'm gonna fight fire with fire
- Oh, that is crazy
- Oh, yeah?
What? Just look at these photos
the doctor gave me
Before and after
Wow what a difference
Yeah, yes. See what I mean?
Look in just a few hours
Rags to riches
This one looks like she should be flying
Over the Coliseum doing a football game
- I'ts now what you want?
- Oh come on Chrissy
If I'm gonna compete out
there I need all the help I can get
Yeah, but if you do this you're gonna
need help just standing up in the morning
Okay if you can't understand
- Let's just forget it
Oh all I'm saying is
Just think about how it might turn out
You right, you right,
Maybe I should think about how to feel huh..., yeah
- Hi Chrissy
- Hi
- What you got there?
- You can't see them
- Why not?
- Well they're the doctors pictures
You see that ugly
No, Janet got them from a plastic surgeon
Oh what..... hold it!
She's not thinking of getting one of those
- Chest jobs is she?
- I did tell you that
So don't ask me
well that's ridiculous
I'm not gonna let Janet do that
Oh, no! She already did
well what do you think
Huh, I didn't think
you could get it done that fast
Do you like them?
Oh, yeah, Tthey're tremendous I mean...
Good, good...
Then you can hold them
while I take a shower
- Hi, I mean hi
- Hi
Is Janet here I'm Chloe Scoutmyre
Oh you're Chloe, yeah...
I should have known you anywhere
Come on in
- Oh Chrissy this is Chloe, Chloe Chrissy
- How nice
Janet you have a visitor
It's your manager
Chloe?
Oh, well. I suppose you want to know
why I wasn't at work today
No, I came to say goodbye
- I'm quitting
- You quitting?
would you like to sit down Chloe
- Thank you,
- Sure
I know now why I got that managers job
Mr. Compton invited me up to his apartment
After work to go over some forms
And he started with mine
Oh, that's Compton all right
He didn't even ask me
A moon you're built like me
man just take it for granted
you'll say yes
You know Janet?
I can't remember the last time
a man looked at my eyes
they could be hard-boiled eggs
For all they'd notice
Oh you have lovely eyes
I'm sure lots of men notice
- Right jack?
- oh right
I noticed that she lovely eggs of... eyes...
I am so tired of whistles and dumb remarks
Hey baby how about coming over here
And keeping the rain off of me
What did they say on sunny days?
Now listen to me,
There's nothing wrong
with having a great body
There shouldn't be but
it gets in the way sometimes
Oh Janet, I wish I was like you
What?
To get respect, you get hired
because you know your job
- Well yes but I..
- When you talk men listen
they're interested in your viewpoint
when I talk they're only interested in
the view
See how lucky you are, Janet
- Oh, I have to go
-Oh, okay
and would you tell mr. Compton
- I don't want to play
- Sure Chloe sure
It was nice working with you
- I learned a lot
- So did I
- Bye
- Bye
Well...?
Wow, ups....
I guess I'll just stay the way I am
Small but sincere
That's my girl
You know she's right men can be
really lousy to girls built like her
- We should learn to ignore the body
- You right, right
And you girls should learn to ignore
my body
Hah, what?
I've noticed the way you've been
looking at me
- Undressing me with your eyes
- Ah.....
I'm not gonna wear that Jersey pullover
anymore I know what clings
- But I want to drive you mad
- Well, let have the peek...!
Twice! Get back! Resist!
- Hy
- Hy
How was your first day as Compton's
new acting manager, yeeee...
Oh,long hard and exhausting
- Didn't you like it?
- I love it
Did you find a replacement for Chloe?
Oh, sure yet got somebody
Whos very bright nice-looking
and has a wonderful body
Why'd you hire a girl like that
Who said I hired a girl
Three's company was videotaped
in front of a studio audience
♪ we've been waiting for you
♪ where the kisses are hers and hers and his
♪ three's company too
♪ come and dance on our floor
♪ take a step that is new
♪ we've a lovable space that needs your face
♪ three's company too
♪ you'll see that life is a ball again
♪ laughter is calling for you
♪ down at our rendezvous
♪ three's company too
Hey Stanley you want to hear something?
Was that a yes or a no...
That's what I thought you said
- What was that?
- Oh that's just the kids upstairs
They got no respect for this property
The man who built this place had no respect for this property
Well not yet Helen
This house means a lot to me
How come you never say that about me?
You're not in a rising market
Neither are you
There goes that banging again
Oh..., come on a little of
that never hurt anybody
Well it gives me a headache
- I go up there
- Oh come, on Stanley come on sit down
I want to show you something
In the magazine
Look now this is an article about
- Cosmetic surgery
- Cosmetic surgery?
- Yeah,
- You mean they have to operate
To remove your makeup?
It's about face lifting
See they're doing marvelous things
At this year sunset Pines hospital
they, they remove the bags from under your eyes
They take away the sag under your chin
What can They do about your mouth?
Seriously Stanley wouldn't you like to
- To look younger?
- Me? what can I
Look at this face
Does this face look like it needs lifting?
It's a derrick
Well I'm gonna keep it just the way it is
If you don't mind I'm sure you've
heard the old saying
you don't ever fool around
with mother nature
Then how did she get to be a mother
what are those girls doing up there?
What do you mean
Jack lives up there too you know?
know that's what I said what
are those girls doing up
- What's that?
- It's not ferocious enough Chrissy
And karate you have to make
your opponent think
You are totally without
fear and I'd do it again
let me see some anger this one
Get mad
Oh, you scared me
I'm supposed to scare you
In the martial arts there's got
to be an element of surprise
okay surprise me but first let me know
when you're gonna do it
Let me show you how karate can really come in handy all right
All right I'll be a weak
helpless girl at a bus stop
- And you be a rough drunken sailor
- Okay
Now you spring out of nowhere
and try to attack me all right
Okay, but don't let me hurt you
Here we go
Oh, where's that bus?
- Hallo, baby
- That's it. Now force me down, yeah!
Oh!
You're not resisting
I happen to be one of those girls
Who likes rough drunken sailors Chrissy let go me let go
Jack! Jack! Oh, don't.....
All right, Breakin' up, breakin' up, breakin' up!
Oh, sorry!
Chrissy, let go, me! Let go, Chrissy!
It wasn't what it looked like really
Right I was just showing Chrissy
A foolproof defense against
the sex-crazed attacker
Oh that's very useful especially while
we're living with one
No kidding okay I think every girl should learn it
Now Janet, suppose some good guy grabs
you like this what are you gonna do
This...
You did that all wrong Janet oh you were
- Yeah, you were supposed to yeid, yaaa...!
- Oh, I'll remeber that next time
Why you have tell her that?
She'll kill me the next time
Aw aw, uhhh... I may never slice carrots again
Oh, hi mr. Roper
would you two mind not jumping on a ceiling
We'e not jumping on the ceiling
we're jumping on the floor
Well your heappen to be over my ceiling
And my ceiling is over my head
So when you were jumping on your floor
you are jumping on my head
We will be more careful next time
- What are you doing
- I'm loosening up my wrist
I didn't know you
guys had a practice
Oh, here comes that big bully again
Oh, that is a bundle of over
time to take home Janet
Oh, yes. Tell me about it
When that creep manager quit the flower
shop he left everything in a real mess
Now I gotta straighten it out
Well I hope your boss appreciates
what you're doing especially
- When he picks the new manager
- Oh, come on guys...
- That'll say the chance of getting that job
- Oh, why not
mr. Compton is a galloping male chauvinist
every single store in his
chain is a man for a manager
- Come on Janet, he's a businessman isn't he?
- Yeah?
And when he compares your ability
to others
He won't care if you're male or female
He's naturally gonna pick the best man
orders anyone
Got a little cheese to tide you ladies over until dinner
Whoo thank you
You know Janet, you shouldn't give up that
manager's job
Without a fight, you've got to think positive
Come on Jack I can't buck the system
I'm surprised at you where would
all the great women of history be
If they thought like that look at Joan of Arc
And what she accomplished and and
Florence Nightingale and Madame Curie
and Lucretia Borgia
She poisoned people
Yeah, but she was very good at it
Here chew, don't talk
Now Janet, listen to me.
You've got everything it takes
To make a sensational manager, you've got
knowledge experience aggressiveness
- Your boss has got to see that
- Jack you don't know him like
You can do it! You can do it!
Yeah, you can do it!
You can do it! You can do it!
You can...., you can
You can do it! You can do it!
You can...., you can
Hitck a cik kaboom! Hitck a cik kaboom!
Right, Janet, you got to stay positive
Wow wo wow..
Ask it, wee, wee,
Ask it run......
I don't know the rest though, ha, ha, ha!
Chrissy, Chrissy chew chew, ra, bra, bra...
Seriously Janet, Chrissy and I believe in you
Why can't you you're right you are
You right
You are right, Gee,there's no reason
why I can't get that job
- All right
- Oh thank you Jack, you're a dog huh
Oh you find out, huh?
- That's enough, Jack!
- I'm a dog, Lady hound
Jack, thats enough oh... Jack, uh!
She got what a stroke....
Hey,hey. I don't care what you say
mister Panatela
The tulips you delivered
are not the same ones I picked out
At the market this morning
These look like they just swam
over from Holland
Hey mister Panatela I'm not gonna pay you
One set for these flowers
Meet in the middle?
Oh, all right all right you take
half off the bill for Goodwill
And I'll take the other half
off the lousy flowers. Thank you
Janet, will you look at these
Oh Chloe, those look great
- You are really getting the hang of it
- Oh thank you
Yeah, just one little problem Chloe
The rest in peace goes to the cemetery
And the have fun goes to the Mexican cruise ship was
Oh...
, sorry down wasn't it
Wait, it was down wasn't it?
Oh come on Chloe you're doing terrific
For somebody who's only been here a week
Really, easy a,hmmm...
Just stay out of the refrigerator Chloe
in that outfit you catch pneumonia
Excuse me can I help you with something madam
- Huh, don't like these not at all
- E..why not?
They don't look natural you got
the other kind?
- The other kind?
- The plastic ones
Now they look natural
Well we had a few but they all died
Oh, that so pitty
Usually they last forever
- Janet baby
- Oh, hi mr. Compton
How's the little girl with the big brown eyes
My eyes are up here mr. Compton
So I got bad day
Soon how's the new girl I sent you
she's shaping up?
She shaped up before she got here
- What's that?
- Ah, oh she's great she's fine
I really like her she's very conscientious
Listen Janet, I appreciate what you've been doing is
Since that jerk walked out you're a champ
- A real champ
- Really?
Absolutely and I got a big surprise for you
- A surprise?
- Hm
- Oh
- Hi, how is it kind nice to see you again
Oh Chloe you look terrifico
- And I love that dress
- Oh, it isn't that much
I know
E... by the way Chloe, Janet tells me
- You're doing a good job here
- Oh, I'm trying but Janet's been a big help
She's a terrific person
Oh, mr. Compton what about that surprised?
Right, well I decided not to hire a guy
- To run this place after all
- No kidding?
- So Janet
- Yes, mr. Compton
Meet your new manager
A little wine for the occasion
Chateau supermarket
Hey, aren't we jumping the gun
with the celebration dinner
I mean, suppose Janet didn't get the job
think positive she got the job
Aha, there she is!
Miss Rose Pedal of 1977
- You try to be funny
- I'm sorry, mr. Roper
I thought you were Janet
I've come on klog you
You're not touching me with that thing
You really a very strange person
You see, Come on!
Think she got the job
It's hard to tell who are
Huuu, are you ready for this?
That creep Compton gave the job to Chloe Scoutmyer!
Oh No, who's Chloe's Scoutmyers!
She's a girl we just hired!
Oh what she got, that you haven't got?
Arthritis?
Oh you, you and your positive thinking
Jack I didn't need your help here
- I needed it down here
- Oh, that is terrible
- What a dumb way to pick a new manager
- Yeah yeah yeah
You probably would have done the same
thing you men are all alike
You know wait a minute it just so happens
I hardly notice boss at all
I never think about that stuff
As far as I'm concerned this girl
who got the manager's job, this Chesty
- That's Chloe
- I mean Chloe
Oh, Janet is right your manner, all right
Would you two stop exaggerating Janet
you're making mountains out of mole hills
I wish I hadn't said that eh.....
I'll make the salad for you and...
Oh Janet I am so sorry
- You didn't get the job
- Oh Thank You Chrissy
You know when I first started high school
I had absolutely no figure at all
I kept praying I would blossom one day
One day the teacher asked the class to locate
The great American flatlands
Every single boy in class pointed to me boy
Oh boy, you must have die
You know is that stupid male
attitude we had to grow up with
I know I know
if we didn't need training bras
by the time we were 10 our lives were ruined
Why are guys so hung up on a big bosom?
It's because they're all brainwashed
Hey look in this magazine here
There's not an ad in here
that doesn't have cleavage
Do you honestly need a blonde in a bikini
to sell a sports car
Aha, or a redhead in a wet t-shirt
to sell a lawn sprinkler or
Well look at this one,
I mean is it really necessary to show a woman
In her underwear?
That's an ad for underwear
Oh....
Well this whole thing is giving me a headache
I think I'll go lie down for a while
- Oh, Janet
- No please Chrissy
I really don't want to talk about it anymore
Okay
Oh, hi Chrissy look I wondered if I could
ask you kids,
- To do me a favor
- Oh sure come on in
- Hi, mrs. Ropper
- oh oh oh hi jack
Well look, I just, I just came up
to let you know
That I might be going away
For a week or so to visit relatives
Oh how nice, where?
- Sunset Pines hospital
- Hah?
I mean San Francisco
And, oh.... well, anyway
I just thought you might, e...
Keep an eye on Stanley while I'm gone
- Why? What's he gonna do?
- Nothing as usual
You see he might get lonely
Do you know that he's never been left alone
- Since he was a child
- He was left alone as a child?
Yes, but then the police went
And found his parents and made them
come back home
Mrs. Ropper, you said something about
visiting relatives in a hospital
uh oh. yeah...... oh well
I guess I can tell you
but I want to keep it a secret
from mr. Roper
see, I want to surprise him
Oh, I don't think that
you should tell us then either
Tell us, tell us...
Well I'm thinking about having a facelift
A facelift?
I got the idea from this magazine here
Oh That's kind of a big step to take isn't it?
Yeah, but it'll be worth it
I... I'll come back looking like a new woman
And then, and then Stanley
will feel like he's cheating on me and
That always turns a man on, right?
- Have you gone nuts?
- Oh, Stanley
- I didn't know you were up here
- Obviously
I'm doing it for you
I'll come back all smooth and pretty
If I wanted somebody smooth and pretty
I would have married somebody like that
I think he meant that as a compliment
Look Helen maybe I don't say it often enough
But I love you just the way you are
So don't change, huh.....
Oh......
So come down tair as
quickly as you can, huh
If you know what I mean
There's no hurry Hellen
Name that to doesn't go on for help, you know?
I better go see about the rest of dinner
- Oh you made your wife real happy
- Yeah,
I mean you'd really be upset
if she had a facelift wouldn't you?
Go on right you know what those things cost?
What's going on out here
Oh mr. mrs. Roper were having an argument
About her having a facelift
Where does she get a dumb idea like that?
In this magazine it's all about
How women can completely
make themselves over
Get a new nose new rear-ends
a new bust to...
the new bust?
Let me see that dumb magazine
- Hi
- Hi
how things go work today with a new manager
Oh, I didn't go to work today I went to see a doctor
- What about
- A bust job
- What
- Bust job bust job...!
I'm gonna fight fire with fire
- Oh, that is crazy
- Oh, yeah?
What? Just look at these photos
the doctor gave me
Before and after
Wow what a difference
Yeah, yes. See what I mean?
Look in just a few hours
Rags to riches
This one looks like she should be flying
Over the Coliseum doing a football game
- I'ts now what you want?
- Oh come on Chrissy
If I'm gonna compete out
there I need all the help I can get
Yeah, but if you do this you're gonna
need help just standing up in the morning
Okay if you can't understand
- Let's just forget it
Oh all I'm saying is
Just think about how it might turn out
You right, you right,
Maybe I should think about how to feel huh..., yeah
- Hi Chrissy
- Hi
- What you got there?
- You can't see them
- Why not?
- Well they're the doctors pictures
You see that ugly
No, Janet got them from a plastic surgeon
Oh what..... hold it!
She's not thinking of getting one of those
- Chest jobs is she?
- I did tell you that
So don't ask me
well that's ridiculous
I'm not gonna let Janet do that
Oh, no! She already did
well what do you think
Huh, I didn't think
you could get it done that fast
Do you like them?
Oh, yeah, Tthey're tremendous I mean...
Good, good...
Then you can hold them
while I take a shower
- Hi, I mean hi
- Hi
Is Janet here I'm Chloe Scoutmyre
Oh you're Chloe, yeah...
I should have known you anywhere
Come on in
- Oh Chrissy this is Chloe, Chloe Chrissy
- How nice
Janet you have a visitor
It's your manager
Chloe?
Oh, well. I suppose you want to know
why I wasn't at work today
No, I came to say goodbye
- I'm quitting
- You quitting?
would you like to sit down Chloe
- Thank you,
- Sure
I know now why I got that managers job
Mr. Compton invited me up to his apartment
After work to go over some forms
And he started with mine
Oh, that's Compton all right
He didn't even ask me
A moon you're built like me
man just take it for granted
you'll say yes
You know Janet?
I can't remember the last time
a man looked at my eyes
they could be hard-boiled eggs
For all they'd notice
Oh you have lovely eyes
I'm sure lots of men notice
- Right jack?
- oh right
I noticed that she lovely eggs of... eyes...
I am so tired of whistles and dumb remarks
Hey baby how about coming over here
And keeping the rain off of me
What did they say on sunny days?
Now listen to me,
There's nothing wrong
with having a great body
There shouldn't be but
it gets in the way sometimes
Oh Janet, I wish I was like you
What?
To get respect, you get hired
because you know your job
- Well yes but I..
- When you talk men listen
they're interested in your viewpoint
when I talk they're only interested in
the view
See how lucky you are, Janet
- Oh, I have to go
-Oh, okay
and would you tell mr. Compton
- I don't want to play
- Sure Chloe sure
It was nice working with you
- I learned a lot
- So did I
- Bye
- Bye
Well...?
Wow, ups....
I guess I'll just stay the way I am
Small but sincere
That's my girl
You know she's right men can be
really lousy to girls built like her
- We should learn to ignore the body
- You right, right
And you girls should learn to ignore
my body
Hah, what?
I've noticed the way you've been
looking at me
- Undressing me with your eyes
- Ah.....
I'm not gonna wear that Jersey pullover
anymore I know what clings
- But I want to drive you mad
- Well, let have the peek...!
Twice! Get back! Resist!
- Hy
- Hy
How was your first day as Compton's
new acting manager, yeeee...
Oh,long hard and exhausting
- Didn't you like it?
- I love it
Did you find a replacement for Chloe?
Oh, sure yet got somebody
Whos very bright nice-looking
and has a wonderful body
Why'd you hire a girl like that
Who said I hired a girl
Three's company was videotaped
in front of a studio audience