Three's Company (1976–1984): Season 2, Episode 19 - Jack in the Flower Shop - full transcript

Jack agrees to work for Janet in the flower shop, but he doesn't take the job seriously which causes problems in their relationship.

♪ Come and knock on our door ♪
♪ Come and knock on our door ♪

♪ We've been waitin' for you ♪
♪ We've been waitin' for you ♪

♪ Where the kisses are
hers and hers and his ♪

♪ Three's company too ♪

♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪
♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪

♪ Take a step that is new ♪
♪ Take a step that is new ♪

♪ We've a lovable space
that needs your face ♪

♪ Three's company too ♪

♪ You'll see that
life is a ball again ♪

♪ Laughter is calling for you ♪

♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪

♪ Three is company too ♪

♪ Down at our rendezvous
Three is company too ♪♪

[ Inhales, Groans ]

[ Blows ]

[ Chrissy ] Hello? Anybody home?

In here.

Oh, boy, I'm beat.

Yeah, you look pretty worn out.

Oh, that's just great, Jack.

I come home after a
miserable day at the office,

and the first thing I
hear is I look terrible.

I'm sorry. You look marvelous.

Don't lie to me,
Jack! I look terrible.

The office was a madhouse, and
the bus ride home was even worse.

What happened?

Well, the bus was packed, and
I was standing next to this guy,

who asked me if I wanted to
sit down, and that started a fight.

Why? His wife didn't
want to give up her seat.

Some women are so unreasonable.

Yeah. How'd you do today?

- Lousy.
- Oh, no job?

Oh, there's just no part-time
jobs around anymore, Chrissy.

Boy, I'm sorry. Listen to...

Oh, hi, everybody. Hey, babe.

[ Groaning ]

Oh, you had another
bad day, huh?

Oh, Jack, my back is killing me.

And my feets hurt
and my neck is stiff.

A little tension, huh?

Let the skilled fingers
of Dr. Tripper go to work.

[ Knuckles Crack ] Eww!

Bwah! Ow! Gee!

Shh. Poor baby. Oh!

How's that? Oh,
Jack, more please.

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Don't forget the
"poor baby" part.

Poor baby! Yeah!

Poor baby. Is that better?

Oh, yeah, that's
great. The poor baby!

Hey, what about the
poor baby over here?

Two hands, no waiting.
Where does it hurt?

Well, I've been sitting
all day. I can fix that.


My arms are killing me. Arms?

Yeah, what do you think I was
doing when I was sitting? I was typing.

Ah, arms. Sure.

[ Moaning ] Yes, Chrissy!

Feels so good. Don't forget
the poor baby over here.

Of course. Oh, yeah!

Oh, and me. Hey, there's
enough to go around.

Yes. Gee, I wish
I had a steady job.

Then I could come home
exhausted too. Uh-uh.

That's no good. If we all worked,
then we'd have to massage each other.

That has a nice ring to it.

Hey, Jack, I just
had a thought here.

You know, I've been going
absolutely nuts down at the flower shop.

We're so busy. We could
use extra help down there.

Janet, I've got a better idea.

Instead of getting extra
help, why don't you hire Jack?

Gosh, Chrissy,
that's a great idea.

Well, I come up with them.
I'm not dumb, you know.

What do you say,
Jack? Well, I love it.

Look. You got classes
in the morning, yeah?

Okay, so you could work
afternoons and on Saturdays?

Janet, that would be great, but
can you put me on just like that?

Well, Mr. Compton made
me acting manager, didn't he?

That's fantastic!
I can't believe it!

Oh, Janet, you and I working together
is gonna be absolutely sensational.

I love it. Thank you.
Oh, you're welcome.

Oh, would you stop?

It was my idea. Get over here!

[ Mumbling ]

Hey, with the... Hey,
with the hugging.

See? See how this
goes? Really... Yeah.

Very lightly actually.
See? Okay. Okay.

All righty. I'll show you
what else I want you to do.

Now, when the flowers are
delivered to us, they're not...

Hello? Yeah.

When the flowers are delivered,
they're not ready for sale, okay?

We have to strip and clean them.

Do you want me to
strip already? What?

Okay. Jack, stop that.

When do you spread
the pollen on me?

Jack. Jack, all right. Now
that's enough. Just pay attention.

[ Makes Explosion Noise
] See? Gee, Jack, look!

Go ahead. Now down here,
the leaves at the bottom,

they have to be stripped
away, okay? Yeah.

You use this, and
you go... [ Screams ]

Okay. All right. You got
that? Think you can do it?

Sure. Okay. Take this. Careful.

[ Bell Jingles ] Go in back and do
these and the rest of the shipment.

Gotcha. Okay.

Good afternoon. Can I help you?

I'd like something
special for my anniversary.

Oh. Well, we could make up a nice
arrangement. How much do you wanna spend?

[ Man ] Well, I really hadn't
thought about it. Possibly...

Excuse me, please,
but I'm in a hurry.

Yes, Mrs. Simpson. I'll be
with you in just a moment.

I really am in a
hurry. Uh, yes, ma'am.

Jack! I'm sorry, sir.

What can I get for $15?

Well, I could make a nice
arrangement... I'm gonna have to leave...

unless you wait on me
right away. I'm sorry. Jack!

I want them delivered
to this address. Yes, sir.

Oh, I'm sorry to be a nuisance,
but... Then why are you?

I beg your pardon. J-Jack? Jack!

Did I hear you call me? Yes,
you did. Where were you?

I was in the back,
stripping. [ Clicking ]

Oh, uh, Jack, no. Please,
give me that. [ Spits ]

Over here. Yeah. If
you'll just wait on this lady.

She's in quite a hurry.
Oh, is it an emergency?

Oh, no, I just hate waiting.

Now, if you'll just help me
with the flowers over there.

And would you encl...
Enclose that card?

Okay. Let me see here.

"To my darling sweetheart
of 35 wonderful years.

From your one-and-only Andy."

Well, that's real sweet.

Yeah, that oughta hold
the old bat for a while.

No. I can't decide.

I want something nice to
cheer up a very old man.

How about a very young woman?

Really, I can't make up my mind.

Flowers are beautiful,
but a plant lasts for so long.

How old is he? Eighty-seven.

Take the flowers.

Uh, okay.

There's your receipt.
And I thank you very much.

You're welcome.

Uh, uh, Jack. I'll take
care of Mrs. Simpson.

That's all right. I was
just... No, that's okay.

You just go in the back. And
next time when I call, come.

Janet, I can deal with... Jack,
would you just go in the back?

Now, Mrs. Simpson, could I
suggest a nice basket of fresh flowers,

with some little
plants mixed in?

Oh, that sounds
lovely! Oh, good.

Now, I'd like you to enclose this
card and send it to this address.

Uh-huh. And charge
it to my account.

- Okay. Thank you very much.
- Bye.

[ Janet ] Bye-bye. Oh, Janet.

Mrs. Roper, hi.

Janet, uh, I want a
man to send me flowers.

Oh, who doesn't? Oh, no, no, no.

These flowers are for Mr. Roper.

Oh, you want me to get Mr. Roper
to send you some flowers?

No, no, no! They're
for Mr. Roper to see.

Another man's gonna
send them to me.

Th-There's another man?

[ Laughs ] Oh, no! No?

No, no, no. I want
Mr. Roper to think...

there's another man.

But I like your idea better.

Oh, okay. Well, let me see.

In that case... Ooh, ooh!
Hey, how about roses?

Oh, roses would be perfect!

They give Stanley hay fever.

Jack! Yeah?

Oh, hi, Mrs. Roper. Hi, Jack.

You know those things
have got thorns on them?

Don't be such a baby. I gotta
have gloves or something.

Jack, could you go in the back and
get Mrs. Roper some fresh roses?

Yes, sir. [ Bell
On Door Jingles ]

Oh, excuse me. Uh...

Hi. Can I help you to
something? Me, for example.

W-Well, I had something
a little different in mind.

What was that? Jack, excuse
me. I can take care of this.

No, I can handle her.
I don't mean literally.

I'd never touch you
or anything. Jack!

Just go in the back and get
Mrs. Roper some fresh roses.

I was just trying to be helpful.
By hitting on a customer?

That was not hitting
on a customer.

This is hitting on a customer.

[ Huffing ] No. No!

Jack, no! Now come on.

Stop being childish, all right?

I'm just trying to
have some fun.

Well, look, Jack. This is
a place of business, okay?

If you wanna have fun,
have it at home. Good idea.

How do we get rid of
Chrissy? Jack, cut it out!

[ Sighs ] Now look.
Just go in the back...

and get Mrs. Roper some fresh
roses. Okay, Janet. Come on.

Jack, just go get the roses!

I'd better do what I'm told, otherwise
teacher will make me stay after work.

Did you have a nice day?


- Where's Janet?
- Who?

Did you forget her?

What a wonderful idea!

- Jack, what happened?
- Oh, she stopped off
at the supermarket.

Hey, Jack, I can't believe
you didn't wait for me.

Oh, I'm sorry. Did you
order me to? What?

Hey, Jack. What's
wrong with you?

- What's wrong with me?
- What is wrong
with both of you?

Here, Chrissy. Could you just
put these in the kitchen, please?

But I just... Chrissy! Chrissy!

You'd better do it before
Simone Legree gets her whip out.

- [ Doorbell Rings ]
- Jack, what do you mean
by that?

[ Mocking ] What do you
mean by that? Well, what?

You know darn well
what I mean by that.

What do you mean by
what? Oh, hi, Mr. Roper.

Come on in. We're just
having a private fight.

Come on. Join us.

Listen, these flowers came from your
shop today. Do you know who ordered them?

Doesn't it say on the card? It just
says "from a mysterious admirer."

Well, maybe it's that husky sailor who
keeps coming into the Regal Beagle.

You think so?

Well, I've seen the way he
looks at you over his glass of beer.

These aren't for me.
These are for Helen.

It's the second bouquet
that came today.

Didn't you see the
guy who ordered them?

No, Mr. Roper. I didn't see a
man order flowers for your wife.

You haven't seen any strange
men hanging around here, have you?

No such luck.

You know, I just
thought of something.

I-If it was signed
from an admirer,

it's gotta be from somebody
who hasn't met her.

I wonder who could be sending flowers
to Mrs. Roper. [ Janet ] Mrs. Roper.

That's what I said. No, Chrissy,
she means that Mrs. Roper...

I'm quite capable of explaining,
thank you. See, Mrs. Roper came in...

Oh, excuse me, I forgot. Yeah, you're
quite capable of anything, aren't you?

Jack, what do you mean by that?

[ Mocking ] What do
you mean by that? Jack!

Hold it. Don't start that
again. What is it with you two?

This is no way for
friends to behave. Yeah!

I thought we were friends
until I went to work for a friend,

and that friend puts me
down in front of a friend.

What? Oh, no. Oh, come on, Jack.

Don't you think
you're overreacting?

Moi? Overreacting?

Overreacting? I never overreact!

Look, Jack, look. We are
friends here in the apartment.

But not in the shop, huh?
At the shop, it's business.

And of course, business is
business. Well, business is business.

Hey, listen, maybe... Chrissy,
just mind your own business!

Yeah! Well, wait. Jack! Janet!

Oh, boy. Oh, no! [ Scoffs ]

[ Traffic Noises ]

Here you go. And thank
you very much. Thank you.

[ Sighs ]


Oh. Oh, hey, Jack?

Yo! [ Screams ] You!

That was pretty quick.

When you call, it is my
duty to be there, Miss Wood.

Oh, Jack. Are you
still on that kick?

Okay. All right.

Please, put that in the back.

Yes, ma'am!

[ Phone Ringing ]

Okay. [ Ring ]

Arcade Florist. May I help
you? Oh, hi, Mr. Compton.

Busy? Oh, yeah. We
are up to our... Asters?

Oh, oh, sure. No,
no, no, no, yeah.

I can send some asters
to the Ventura branch.

Uh-huh. Sure.

No, Mr. Compton, I will not
forget the Benson wedding.

I promise.

Okay. All right. Bye-bye.

[ Sighs ] That was the boss.

He only calls here about 20
times a day to check up on me.

And then he says, "As long as you're
there, Janet, I don't worry about a thing."

Well, at least with
Mr. Compton around,

we're not going to have to
worry about needing fertilizer.

Is there anything else I
can do for you, madam?

Okay. All right, Jack.

This is getting to be a
real drag. Now loosen up.

- How loose would you like me?
- Jack, what do you think...


Okay. Okay. All right.

Um, about yesterday.

Uh, look. I know
that sometimes...

I get a little carried
away with my job,

and I forget to say please and
thank you, but I am sorry, Jack.

So, could we just
forgive and forget, okay?

Is that an order, Miss Wood?

Jack, would you please just stop
thinking about work for a minute?

Okay, for a
minute. [ Whistling ]

Stop that. Okay, I'll
think about work again.


You don't look like
you're thinking about work.

You look like you're
thinking about strangling me.

Oh, no, I never mix
business with pleasure.

- Ow! Ow! Ow!
- What are you doing?

Oh, just rearranging
the flowers, dear.

Oh, Stanley, did you notice
my horoscope in the paper?

It says that today is my
lucky day. [ Grumbles ]

So you'd better be
careful crossing the street.

Oh, look at these
flowers, Stanley.

Aren't they lovely? [ Grumbles ]

Did you ever notice how flowers
just seem to brighten up a room?

Even a room that you're in.

[ Doorbell Rings ]

Hey, Stanley. Get
the door, will you?

I'm reading! Well,
I'm getting dressed.

You wouldn't want me to come
there half naked, would you?

Certainly not. I wouldn't
want you to scare anybody.

Who is it? [ Man ] A box
of candy for Mrs. Roper.

Shove it under the door.

I can't. They're hard centers.

Let me see that card. Oh!

"From your secret
admirer." Again?

Oh, isn't that
sweet? [ Giggles ]

Who is it, Helen? Who you getting all
the candy and flowers from? Answer me!

I don't know. Just
some unknown admirer.

Who probably has his
binoculars trained on me right now.

Jack, would you, uh, put those
roses in the refrigerator, please?


I put them in the refrigerator,
right next to your heart.

Okay, Jack. I've
had just about...

- Janet!
- What?

Oh, Mr. Compton.
What are you doing here?

I just heard from
Mr. Benson. Yeah?

He's a bit miffed because his
daughter got married today...

without benefit of flowers.

Oh! Oh! Oh! The Benson wedding.

I counted on you. I trusted
you and look what happens.

Oh, Mr. Compton, I-I don't
know what to say. I'm so...

Janet, I'm very disappointed
in you. I put you in charge here.

But I think I made a mistake.

Wait a minute, Mr. Compton.

Janet told me to
deliver those flowers.

Why didn't you
deliver them? I forgot.

You forgot. You forgot?

She told me first thing
in the morning, but I...

Did you remind him again in
the afternoon? She did remind me.

And? I forgot.

You couldn't remember long enough to
make a delivery? What were you thinking of?

I forget.

Nobody has this bad of memory.

The only thing that should have
been on your mind was that wedding.

What wedding? [ Grumbling ]

Mr. Compton.
Mr. Compton, please.

No, don't listen to
him. It was my fault.

I don't know how, but I thought
that that wedding was next Saturday.

Nice try, Janet. No, I...

Well, Ripper? Uh, Tripper.
Jack... It's a common mistake.

Well, what do you
got to say for yourself?

Uh, how about good-bye?

Oh, no. Oh, no,
Jack. Jack. Janet!

What? Let him go.

Oh, no, no. Jack.

Mmm, delicious!

Hey, you want one, Stanley?

How 'bout a hazelnut crunch?

I'm gonna find out who it
is. You know, I got my ways.

Who was the guy that used
to send you all that poetry?

The guy with the big nose.

Clive? He didn't
have a big nose.

He just had a small face.

How 'bout an English toffee?

You're enjoying
this, aren't you?

Well, let me tell you something.

Even though I have an
iron willpower, I got a temper.

And if I ever lose my temper,
you're gonna see blood on the moon!

Oh, Stanley, we're

Uh, I got it. That character
in your flower arranging class.

The one... The one in the
tweeds with the small mustache.

Margaret Wilson?

Come on, Helen. Who is it?

How 'bout a chocolate finger?

[ Whirring ]

Hi. Hi, Janet. Where's Jack?

What? I said, "Where's Jack?"

I don't know, Chrissy. I
haven't... [ Vacuum Off ]

I haven't seen
him. I don't know.

- You two still fighting at work?
- Oh, no, not at work we're not.

- He got fired.
- How could you?

No, no, Chrissy, I didn't
fire him. Mr. Compton did.

[ Doorbell Rings ] Oh, too chicken
to do your own dirty work, huh?

No, no, Chrissy. See, what
happened... I don't believe it.

Listen, Mr... Hi. Hi.

Oh, after you, dear.

Thank you, Stanley.

Uh, do you wanna
tell them, dear?

Oh, no, you tell them, precious.

It was your idea. And
a very good one at that.

Thank you, Stanley.

Stanley and I wanna invite you to
The Regal Beagle for a celebration.

Oh, great. What are
we gonna celebrate?

The opening of Stanley's eyes.

He no longer takes
me for granted,

do you, dear?

Why don't you go
change, honey bun?

I'm gonna check
on their leaky faucet.

All right, Stanley. Don't
be too long though.

Maybe we'll have time to
celebrate before we celebrate.

Hey, Mr. Roper, we
don't have a leaky faucet.

I know you don't have a leaky
faucet. I came here because I know...

where all those
flowers are coming from.

You know who the
secret admirer is?

Sure. The secret admirer
just walked out that door.

How'd you find out
it was Mrs. Roper?

I got hold of your delivery boy,
and I gave him a nice fat tip.

Bernie? Bernie, that nice kid?

He finked on Mrs. Roper
'cause you paid him?

A quarter's a quarter.

Yeah, but you don't
seem to be very angry.

Angry? Why should I be angry? She
did it 'cause she was crazy about me.

I mean, why blame the
poor woman for that?

Can you believe it?

Oh, hey, Chrissy, look. While we freshen
up, let me explain about Jack and I.

Oh, no. And when Jack gets
back, don't you two start fighting...

and spoil their party.
Chrissy, I have no...

I am getting sick of it. Every time you two
get together lately, you start fighting.

I am the one who gets
caught in the middle.

You're not gonna get caught in
the middle, Chrissy. Listen to me.

Wh... Oh, Jack. I
gotta talk to you.

Oh, no, you don't.
I'm listening, Janet.

Now, don't listen to
her, Jack. Chrissy, look.

What you did this af... Can't
you let bygones be bygones?

It's okay. It's okay.
Don't you hear him?

It's o... It's okay?

Oh, Jack, honey.
Jack, thank you.

See, I knew I'd end up
getting caught in the middle.

Oh. Honey, I gotta apologize.

Wow. Don't apologize.

Where have you been?

I was just thinking
about what you said,

about my not paying
any attention to you.

Anyway, I got you these.

Oh, Stanley!

Oh, they're just a
few flowers. That's all.

Oh, they're lovely.

And after all the things I said.

Oh, and you enclosed a note too.

I did?

"To Granny, rest in peace"?

You stole them
from the cemetery!

Helen, it's the
thought that counts!

You cheap... You cheap
bum, you! Don't, Helen.

I can explain. You
wouldn't spend two...

Two cents on
flowers for your wife!

Let me explain!
You cheap bum, you!

Oh, I'll never
forgive you for that!

I can... I can explain!

[ Yelling, Indistinct ]

[ Man ] Three's Company
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in front of a studio audience.

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