This Is Us (2016–…): Season 2, Episode 2 - A Manny-Splendored Thing - full transcript
The Pearson family visits Kevin on set in Los Angeles for a "Manny" taping; Jack confronts his demons.
Previously on This Is Us...
If you really want to do this,
let's take in an older kid
who no one else
in the whole damn world is gonna help.
Manny say what...?!
Casey, it's not your fault
the show is so bad.
It's you guys!
I quit.
BOBBY: I don't care
what dress size you wear.
You're not good enough, honey.
KATE: It wasn't about my weight;
It was about my lack of ability...
which is fantastic,
'cause I can do this.
I have been drunk for weeks.
If you have a problem,
we will fix it together.
I just need you to get in the car.
♪
Hey.
You kicked this once before,
you will kick it again.
It was not easy... Bec, back then.
But you stopped.
- Right?
- (whispers): Yeah.
I asked you to stop drinking,
and you stopped.
You did stop?
It's only been these
last few months this time.
How did you stop before, Jack?
♪
(phone ringing)
♪
We have some lovely diamond solitaires.
No, no, no. Diamonds...
diamonds are for anyone, okay?
My wife is not anyone.
You know Mary Tyler Moore?
- Sure.
- The actress? Good.
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay, you know Farrah Fawcett?
- (chuckles) Sure.
- Good.
Now, if you smush 'em
both together, that's my wife.
(softly): Ah.
♪
Hi, baby.
The drinking has to stop.
So if it's a problem, fix it.
Be a man and fix it.
JACK: No more drinking.
- Listen, you can't just stop.
- I can.
For you, I can.
I will.
♪
Pile drive! Whoo!
♪
(phone ringing)
REBECCA: Yes. Okay, finish this page,
and then we got to get
ready for school.
KATE: Okay.
- Hello.
- (man speaking indistinctly)
No, that's...
REBECCA: Got to get ready
for school. Let's go, let's go.
Yeah. I'm sorry, sir. That...
I thought the paperwork was
already filed on that permit.
- (man speaks indistinctly)
- Oh. I'm-I'm on my way now.
I'll-I'll do it when I get in, okay?
Yeah.
(Rebecca speaking indistinctly)
REBECCA: You need to take a shower.
- That's mine! It's mine!
- (kids clamoring)
It's mine!
♪
- No, you stop it!
- No, you stop it!
- Boys. Stop touching each other.
- You had... Stop it!
(boys shouting)
- Stop touching me!
- Hey!
Hi.
Jack Pearson. Have we met?
Have we met?
- Oh, we've met.
- (chuckles) Good morning.
- KEVIN: Dad, Dad, listen to this.
- Yeah? Yeah? What?
I pity the fool who runs home
crying to his mama!
- Okay.
- What do you think?
- It's my Mr. T.
- School talent show tonight.
- JACK: All right!
- Yeah.
- Hey, Dad.
- Yeah?
- I want to show you my talent.
- Okay.
Yeah, that's gonna kill, a yo-yo trick.
Kev. Cool it.
- It's a yo-yo trick!
- Cool it.
Yeah. I'll see you there after work.
- You better.
- Okay.
Hey, Bug, should we give
Daddy just a little preview?
- I don't want to.
- Just give him a little preview.
You-you don't want
to be nice to your dad?
Come on, let me see.
♪ But if we are wise ♪
♪ We know that there's ♪
♪ Always tomorrow ♪
♪ Lean on me. ♪
That was so good!
If you just hold out that last note
a little bit longer, though,
Bug, it'll be perfect.
But really good.
So good.
(mouthing)
♪
That one's my favorite.
Don't make fun of me.
Kevin, you've been eating six
ounces of plain chicken breast
every meal for the last two weeks.
Your ab game is strong, I promise.
Yeah. I know... look, I know
this whole thing seems stupid,
but this is a big deal to me, you know?
I mean, you're here, right?
My whole family's flying in.
The Manny made me, Soph.
It made me, and then it ruined me.
And now they ask me to return
to do this special episode,
but really I'm just returning
to the scene of the crime.
Right? Let's be honest.
I really need tonight to go well.
You know? I-I need to prove to everyone
that I'm the bigger man.
But, like, the funnier bigger man.
You know what I need? I need it to go
like when George Clooney returned to do
that last episode of ER...
do you remember that?
That was cool.
That's what I need.
That's what I'm going for.
I need people to love me...
the way they loved Clooney.
This is your least attractive side.
You know that, right?
Yeah.
(laughs)
All right, girls, time to go.
- Got your schoolwork?
- In our bags.
- You didn't pack any liquids...
- All under 3.4 ounces.
BETH: License?
- Uh, check. Rental car confirmation?
- Got it.
- We'll pack the trunk.
- RANDALL: What do you mean...
Don't start. We're better at it.
Excuse me.
- That's heavy. You sure you got it?
- I got it.
You guys...
- (Tess speaks indistinctly)
- Okay.
We have to do this?
We really have to travel
across country for the weekend
to see a taping of the least
funniest show in the world?
Yeah, we do. And don't do that
with the "not funny."
Kevin's sensitive... he already feels
like you don't think he's funny.
- I don't think he's funny.
- Well, don't say that.
You know we have to
tell the girls, right?
We're gonna foster a kid, bring
another child into the home,
- they need to know about it.
- I know.
Well, how come you haven't filled out
your forms, then, man? I finished mine.
- What, you want a cookie?
- We told the social worker
we'd have it to her by the end
of the day today, so...
I'll fill mine out
on the plane, I promise.
It's just so comprehensive.
And the questions are so personal.
"Are you usually home
from work by 6:00 p.m.?"
"Do you spend time in nature?"
"Are you sexually satisfied
by your partner?"
What the hell does that have to do
with what kind
of foster parent I'll be?
What did you put for
that one, by they way?
- I put "Generally yes."
- Uh-huh.
"Except when I want a quickie
and my husband needs
- too much romancing."
- What?!
You can't...
That's not funny.
- Neither is your brother.
- Ah-ha-ha-ha!
KATE: Tobe? Where's that
punch bowl that my mom sent us?
If we don't put it out,
she's gonna think that we don't use it.
- We don't use it.
- She can't know that.
Are those pigs in a blanket?
These are for Miguel, all right?
He loves these little cuties.
Really?
What? Miguel can get stuff, too.
Huh? Y'all been sleeping
on my boy Miguel.
Miguel gets no love.
And I feel that pain.
Miguel and I, we are simpatico.
All right? Two swarthy outsiders
with exotic names.
I just don't want my mom
thinking that we sit around
just stuffing our faces.
Hey. I made this dipping
sauce with nut cheese.
So it's healthy.
And it's fun to say, FYI.
- Nut cheese. All right?
- Okay.
And Miguel is the key to my plan
- to win over your mom.
- My mom thinks you're great.
Uh, your mom thinks I'm a guy
who has heart attacks
and falls through coffee tables.
What the hell? What the actual hell?
Why won't this throw just throw?
Why won't it just look normal?!
- What is happening?
- (panting)
Tobe...
you don't... you don't understand.
Every time my mom comes to visit,
she comes in hot, looks me up and down
like she's fitting me
for a freaking bra,
and then she starts criticizing me
with these seemingly
innocuous questions.
I...
Okay. I'm not going to overreact
to everything she says this time.
- Okay.
- I'm not gonna behave like a child.
- Good.
- (knock on door)
Grown-ups.
- Grown-ups.
- (groans)
All right.
- TOBY: Hey!
- KATE: Hi!
- Oh, sweetheart.
- Hi, Mom.
- ¿Como estas?
- Really good.
- Hi.
- KATE: How are you?
Oh, you look so good!
Let me look at you.
- You look so good.
- Do I smell pigs in a blanket?
Oh, Miguel, do you have a nose on you.
You sure as hell do. Come on.
I love pigs in a blanket.
He did make the dipping sauce
with nut cheese, so...
- Okay.
- Yeah.
- Come in.
- Thanks. Wow.
Look at this place.
Will you do your meltdown for me?
- Huh?
- That thing from TMZ when you quit.
No.
Oh, come on, it was
my favorite thing from the show.
Babe, that was not part of
the show. That-that was a...
That was a bad moment
of my life. I'm not...
- Why are you watching this crap?!
- Okay.
Shame on you for making me famous!
Shame on all of us!
No, that's not even close.
Babe, it was... I mean, I was...
I was, like... I was losing... I was...
I can't feel my face right now!
Shame on you for making me famous!
Shame on me for taking the money!
Shame on all of us!
(slow clapping)
Wonderful, Kevin, just wonderful.
It's literally like we're
picking up where we left off.
No. No. We, um...
We were just m... messing arou...
Listen, I, um...
Casey, I'm here to serve, okay?
Love the script.
I think it's great. Very funny.
I've got no notes, no questions.
So...
And the show, I mean, the show,
you know, it seems to be doing...
great without me.
I caught a couple episodes.
America seems to really be
liking the-the black Manny.
Which I think, hey,
you know, great for America.
Black Manny, you know?
Especially in these...
these times... we're... living in.
- I'm gonna go to my office.
- Okay.
(laughing)
What are you...
Well, thanks for the help.
♪
Well, that was brutal.
I need a drink.
(clears throat)
Liquid lunch?
No, I'm good. I got some
calls to catch up on.
♪
But as soon as they left for the day,
I went straight to the garage
where I knew I still had
a bottle hidden.
I've never felt so weak.
So small.
MAN: Thanks for sharing, Chris.
Would anyone else like to check in?
SOPHIE: I just got this new trampoline.
- It's so cool.
- Hey, Sophie.
- You want to see my talent?
- Sure.
KEVIN: It's gonna blow minds.
♪ Sometimes in our lives ♪
- ♪ We all have pain ♪
- (car horn honks)
Hey, Katie girl.
What are you doing here?
Just needed to see you.
Get in.
(Rebecca humming "Lean on Me")
That door goes to nowhere.
Staircase to nowhere,
a couple more doors to nowhere.
And that's the tour.
Man, I cannot believe
you guys came all this way
just for this; This is so great.
- Of course we were gonna come.
- RANDALL: Damn straight.
- Manny say what...?!
- There it is! (Laughs)
- Thank you, Randall.
- (laughter)
Manny say what?!
- No. Stop. Miguel. Just...
- It's nice.
Um, okay. The seats for you guys
are gonna be right here
in the front. Front row.
- Front row?
- Yes, the front row.
Are you kidding me? Only the best
seats for my best girls, right?
And that includes you, too, Beth.
And I want you to know
I think you're really
gonna enjoy this episode.
It's a funny one. Lots of funny stuff.
Okay.
KEVIN: All right, you guys,
I got to go get ready.
So do me a favor, can you please
be nice to Sophie? Please?
Kev, you know we like her
more than you.
- This is what I keep telling him.
- Yeah, okay.
So the tour's over.
I'm gonna go get ready.
Erin, Erin, right over here,
she's gonna take care of you, okay?
- And I will see you guys after.
- All right, buddy.
- All right. Thanks for coming.
- Have fun.
- Keep it hood, Kevin.
- Carry on.
Brian, good to see you.
Let's break legs tonight.
Britney, how are you?
Good to see you.
It's like I never left.
- Kevin, new pink page.
- Yeah. What's this?
Casey made some last-minute
revisions to the final scene.
REPORTER: ...Scored three times,
helping the Penguins...
- (station changes)
- (pop music playing)
(station changes, radio turns off)
Hey, are you excited about tonight?
What? What is that face?
Y-You love to sing.
Mom just makes it feel
like a job sometimes.
Well, she's just trying
to make you better, kiddo.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Dad... everything okay at work?
(scoffs) Yeah.
(chuckles) Yeah. Yeah.
Just, uh...
My boss has a way of making it
feel like a job sometimes.
(chuckles)
It's gonna be okay.
Yeah.
- You should get back to school.
- You should go back to work.
♪
Alright everybody.
Welcome to "The Manny".
- Let's hear it!
- (audience cheering)
Come on! You can do better than that.
Yeah!
Hey, I got one. Who wants to be
in a Manny dance competition?
- Anybody?
- Oh, me. I can do it.
- No, no, no, no, no.
- Right here!
- Hey, Randall.
- Hmm?
Enough already.
You avoided filling out
these damn forms the entire flight.
- Oh, uh...
- Here. We have some time.
You can fill them out now.
Fine, Beth. Fine.
- Fine.
- Okay.
What are you guys doing?
Nothing, it's just bills.
- Mommy, have some wine.
- Hmm?
- You relax when you have wine.
- All right.
Well, not everybody needs
to know that, okay?
- You know what? I need a walk.
- Oh.
Where you going?
The show's about to start.
It's okay. Kevin says
these things can take hours.
Yeah, but... D-Did you say hours?
Did you say hours?
We're gonna be watching
The Manny for hours?
Watch my purse, okay?
- Okay.
- Stay with your grandma.
(phone vibrating)
Hello.
Hey. You gonna tell me
what's on your mind?
- I just...
- Wh... Why do these forms
have you Randalling out so hard?
It's pride, right?
You don't want to put down on paper
that your dad had a drinking problem
and your bio dad had a drug problem.
- It's question 15.
- And you have a...
What's question 15?
"Do you think you can handle a kid
with a history of physical abuse,
sexual abuse, exposure to drugs?"
- Oh, I just put "yes" to everything.
- I know, Beth.
And what makes you think
we can handle that?
And we're not talking
about a baby here.
This is an older kid with
potentially serious issues.
I don't know, I just do.
Do you think that's
a good enough answer?
Because once we tell the girls,
there's no turning back.
- What exactly are you saying?
- Maybe we can't handle this.
Maybe we're biting off
more than we can chew.
- Are you really serious right now?
- Yes.
- What? Are we not...?
- (sighs)
I guess we're picking up
the pace now? Is that it?
I thought...
Great.
Okay. Thanks.
- What? Who was that?
- (chuckles)
It was the house band
- that I sent my demo to.
- Shut up.
(chuckles) They need me
to fill in tonight.
- Their singer got strep throat.
- That is awesome.
I knew strep throat had a
purpose. Good for strep throat.
Okay. I'm gonna go
to the sound check.
- Okay.
- Sound check?
Who has a sound check? For what?
Oh, it's not a big deal.
I... I got a singing gig for tonight.
What?
(chuckles): Kate, that's amazing.
Like I said, it's not a big deal, okay?
- So I'm gonna run, okay? You guys stay.
- Okay.
W-Wait. Wh-What, what um...
(clears throat)
What kind of place is it?
It's just, uh, you know,
a bar where people
sing at sometimes, so...
I remember when
I used to perform. Gosh.
The smoke was so thick you could
barely see through it. And...
...the first time I sang,
I don't think anybody was
even listening to me...
Wait, hold up. You used to sing?
(sighs) I'm sorry.
I'm a jackass, and I'm nervous.
It's okay.
- Bug, go-go break a leg.
- Go, go.
- All right. I love you.
- Bye, love you.
- I'll call you, okay?
- Okay. Yeah.
I'm sorry, that wasn't nice.
- ANNOUNCER: All right, everybody.
- Okay, okay.
It's time. You ready
to meet our cast?!
♪
♪
Excuse me.
How much for an hour?
The first one's on me.
Hey, you interested in training?
No. Just keeping a promise to my wife.
(laughter)
- Oh, no!
- (laughter continues)
Oh! No!
I've lost the baby.
(Kevin groans)
Manny say what?
(audience aahing, laughing)
- And we're out.
- (applause)
Hey. What's wrong?
You're crushing.
- Yeah.
- Don't you hear the crowd?
Casey adjusted the last scene.
He's trying to humiliate me.
I had this whole vision
of how this was gonna go.
It's gonna be mortifying.
Look, you came here to be Clooney.
Right? You think Clooney loved it
when he had to go back to ER...
You mean to reunite with
Julianna Margulies in Seattle?
Yeah, that's right.
I love that episode.
- Yeah.
- That was a bad example.
Look, Kevin, th-this stupid show
does not define you anymore.
Right? You-you came here
to do a job, to rise above.
So just be the bigger man.
Be Clooney.
Otherwise, what are we even doing here?
Hey, Kevin, uh, we need you
for the quick change.
Okay.
- Clooney.
- Mm.
I'm gonna Clooney the
hell out of this thing.
All right, thank you.
You know, I-I have a sister.
Her and my mom... oof!
- You know?
- Hmm.
Only time I fell through
a coffee table, that-that time.
(chuckles): That was not normal.
- (laughs): Of course.
- For...
Okay, I have to leave
and go to her show now.
This is her first real gig,
and I can't miss it,
so I hope you guys understand.
I do.
Ah, crap.
It's okay. I'll stay with the girls.
Thank you. Kevin will understand.
All right, yup.
Come on, come on.
Hey, superstar, are you
excited about tonight?
- I don't know.
- You don't know. What?!
What are you talking about?
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
You do know that you are
the greatest singer
in this house, right?
And on the planet, and maybe
in the entire universe?
So I have a little surprise for you.
I made this from the first dress
that I wore the first time I performed
in front of a whole bunch of people.
And I was really nervous,
and I'm telling you,
wearing this gave me confidence.
So, I thought that you might
want to go upstairs
and try it on, and
maybe wear it tonight?
- Yeah.
- You do? Okay.
Go upstairs.
I'm gonna pop in the shower,
and then I'll come in your room
and I'll help you get ready.
- Thanks, Mom.
- Okay, Bug.
♪
Mom! Mom!
- (shower running)
- REBECCA: ♪ Always tomorrow ♪
♪ Lean on me ♪
♪ When you're not strong ♪
♪ I'll be your friend ♪
♪ I'll help you carry on ♪
♪ For it won't be... ♪
Really? We're walking this fast?
I got up at 4:00 a.m.
to take a cross-country flight,
and I didn't get my workout in,
so this is my workout.
Will you just hear me out? Please?
Look, what if we get a kid
that has serious issues
that we're not prepared for?
Randall, no, we don't know what
kind of child we're gonna get,
but we didn't know what kind
of kids we were gonna get
the first two times, and they
turned out okay, didn't they?
But what if they didn't
turn out anything?
What if they were just
great to begin with?
- Don't you ever think about that?
- Think about what?
Maybe we didn't do that much, Beth.
I mean, Tess self-soothed
from two weeks old.
Annie was sleeping ten hours
a night from infancy.
Remember how other
parents would talk about
their sleepless nights
and their terrible babies?
Remember how we used to have to fake it?
What parents pretend to be tired, Beth?
And now we're gonna potentially
introduce a kid
with these kind of issues
- into our home.
- Randall, you're being ridiculous.
And I think you're being reckless.
Randall, you wanted to adopt.
And now you're Randalling out
on me like this was my idea.
Okay, stop making my name a thing!
And yes, I wanted to adopt.
Got my head around that months ago...
adopting a newborn,
clean-slate baby, like I was
when my parents found me,
but I'm worried, Beth.
Because that's what you do, Randall.
You worry, babe.
But we have talked about this a lot,
and we discussed
how difficult it could be,
and we came to a decision.
And now I'm jet-lagged,
you got me out here sweating,
and I traveled across country
to miss the taping of a sitcom
that I didn't want to come
see in the first place.
So can we please just table
the convo until we get home?
Please?
I guess the part that concerns me, Beth,
- is that we just...
- Oh, my God, you're driving me nuts.
Mm-mm. I'm walking.
- Beth...
- I love you, but I'm walking.
♪
You sure you don't want
to sing, sweetheart?
You practiced so hard.
- I think that's why my throat hurts.
- Yeah?
Did you finish your cough drop?
You know, I used to get really nervous
- before I sang...
- I don't want to.
Okay.
We'll get 'em next time then, Bug.
(applause)
Thank you. Hope you're all
having a great night.
And I hope that we can make it better.
(piano plays gentle intro
to Fleetwood Mac's "Landslide")
♪ I took my love and I took it down ♪
♪ Climbed a mountain ♪
- ♪ And I turned around ♪
- Shh. Shh.
♪ And I saw my reflection ♪
♪ In the snow-covered hills ♪
♪ Till the landslide brought it down ♪
♪ Oh, mirror in the sky ♪
♪ What is love? ♪
♪ Can the child within
my heart rise above? ♪
♪ Can I sail through
the changing ocean tide? ♪
♪ Can I handle the seasons ♪
♪ Of my life? ♪
♪ I don't know ♪
♪ Well, I've been afraid of changin' ♪
♪ 'Cause I built my life around you ♪
♪ But time makes you bolder ♪
♪ Even children get older ♪
♪ And I'm getting older, too... ♪
Hi. I'm Kevin, and I will be
doing my impression of Mr. T.
Got no time for the jibber-jabber!
I pity the fool!
(silence)
(Sophie laughing)
GIRL: Come on, Manny.
The only way to find a baby
is to think like a baby.
(laughter)
(laughter continues louder)
(laughing)
(applause)
(laughter)
(laughter continues louder)
All right, baby.
Where are you, baby?
Where are you? Come to me.
Where are you, baby?
(laughter continues)
♪ Well, I've been afraid of changin' ♪
♪ 'Cause I've built my life around you ♪
♪ But time makes you bolder ♪
♪ Even children get older ♪
♪ And I'm getting older, too ♪
♪ Oh, I'm getting older, too ♪
♪ I took my love and I took it down ♪
♪ I climbed a mountain
and I turned around... ♪
You almost missed Mr. T.
I know. I had to...
take care of something.
It's all good.
It's done. It's done.
♪ Covered hills ♪
♪ Well, the landslide'll bring it down ♪
♪ Oh, the landslide'll bring it... ♪
♪ ...down. ♪
Ha!
Shh.
I'm sorry.
I saw your name on the door.
It's okay. No. Yup, yup.
It's, you know... fine.
Missed the show, by the way.
- I'm so sorry, Kevin.
- It's okay.
It's all right.
You know, it's The Manny.
I know it's not exactly your cup of tea.
Randall's driving me nuts.
Yeah? Yeah, I know, he'll do that.
We're adopting, you know...
well, fostering,
and now he's freaking out,
like we're not up for it.
He's freaking out
and second-guessing.
Yeah, well, I mean, he'll do that, too.
You know my brother
doesn't attempt anything
unless he's positive
he'll succeed at it, right?
I know it. I... I guess that's true.
I mean, there was this one time,
this... this one time his entire life.
It was in college, and, you
know, this girl at a party...
This really, really, like,
badass, dreadlocked girl,
who was, by the way, like...
let's be honest...
17 times out of his nerdy,
sweater-vested-wearing league.
He had no shot in hell at her.
- But he, uh...
- (Beth laughs)
He asked her out anyway.
He called her on the phone.
Good God, he was so nervous,
he made me sweat.
Yeah, I bet.
I still remember his
opening line, you know?
- Mm.
- It was so cheesy.
He was like, "You don't
know who I am, but..."
"But you're about to."
- Wait.
- I'm sorry, you thought
Randall had that kind of game at 19?
Who do you think was
Cyrano-ing the entire thing?
Wait a minute. You?
You... Beth, you fell
for the Manny's game.
Now, you sit there,
and you just think about that
- for a second, little bit.
- Oh, no. It hurts.
- Yeah.
- Damn.
I got got.
You know, Beth, that's the only time
in my brother's entire life
that he's actually risked failure.
It's the only time.
You know how hard that was for him?
How scary that was for him?
The man was terrified.
You know I think you're funny, Kevin.
I know.
You laughed at all my jokes
that night on the phone.
Wait a minute.
You were on the line, too?
- Yep.
- Mm-mm. Forget it.
I don't even want to know.
- Some things are better left unsaid.
- (Groans)
Okay, so, I got your number.
Let's do this again sometime.
I would love that. Thanks.
- Yeah. See you.
- All right.
- G-Good night.
- Bye.
- That was great. That was great.
- Oh.
REBECCA: That was phenomenal.
Absolutely phenomenal.
And, I'm telling you, I-in time,
you will learn to power
through a crowd like this.
But it was amazing.
You see?
This is why I didn't want you to come.
Uh, I'm-I'm gonna...
I'm just gonna go pay the tab.
Even though we didn't
get anything. Yeah. Okay.
(sighs) You know what?
No, I told myself...
I wasn't gonna do this;
I wasn't gonna end
this visit feeling bad,
you know, about what I've said
or what I haven't said to you, so...
I'm just not gonna say anything.
Kate.
Sweetheart, you sang
incredibly beautifully.
You should be so happy right now.
- "Incredibly beautifully"?
- Mm-hmm.
Why do you do that?
Do what? I'm complimenting you.
I'm proud of you.
No, you feel sorry for me.
(chuckles) What on earth
would make you think that, Kate?
You overcompensate for me, Mom,
and you always have.
And here I am, a 37-year-old woman,
and you still make me
feel like a stupid...
fat, little kid.
I'm sorry. What have I ever done
to make you feel like that?
- I'm not gonna do this.
- Kate.
- I want to know. What have I ever done?
- You existed.
- It's everything about you, Mom.
- (sighs)
It's not just that you're
beautiful or thin.
Or that you have perfect pitch
even when you talk.
It's everything.
And you wanted a daughter like you,
- and I was never gonna be you.
- No. No.
I never wanted you to be like me, Kate.
No! You wanted me to be the
you that you never became.
Well, you did it, Ma.
You got me to say
terrible, unfair things.
Least you could do
is say something terrible back.
I-I just can't think of anything
that would be...
quite that terrible, is the thing.
You're my entire life, Kate.
You know that. You and your
brothers are my entire life.
(whispering): Kate.
You were just my little girl.
My little Bug.
In your own world.
Maybe you're right.
Maybe I... maybe I overdid it.
Maybe I pushed you too hard.
Maybe I did that.
(sighs)
I love you.
And I'm sorry, but...
(exhales) Now this...
this is going to be the memory
of my very first real gig.
This.
I'm sorry. I'm gonna be in the car.
Am I... (sighs)
Am I crazy? Or am I doing
what she says I'm doing
and making her feel...
Okay, okay. B-Between you and me,
I think that she is
super sensitive around you.
And, obviously, I don't
know the whole history,
but as much as I want you
- to like me, you need to know
- Mm-hmm.
that I am Team Kate for life.
Like, that's the deal here.
So I can't have you
putting me in a position
where I bring you to a show
that she doesn't want you at,
and you can't ask me
to side with you, okay?
Because...
Team Kate.
Forever.
- That's how this works.
- Got it.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Uh, shall we commence
the awkward car ride home?
♪
(sighs)
So, I've realized
I really like your fiancé.
(chuckles softly)
Now there, that's the
Lucille Ball building.
You know who Lucille Ball was, right?
- No. -No.
- You don't?
RANDALL: She was like the girl
from The Thundermans
but even funnier.
Hey, hold on.
- One second. Be right back.
- Hmm?
Hey, babe.
I know I've been getting on your n...
♪
Our girls came out good.
It's true.
But we made them great.
They make us great.
We can do this.
You and me, we can do anything.
I know.
You let your brother listen on the line
when you were asking me out
for the first time?
I did.
Crazy.
(whispers): I am.
Hey, girls.
Mommy and Daddy want to talk
to you about something.
♪
(whispers): Hi.
I kept it to myself last time.
But it can't be like that again.
I know.
(Jack sighs)
- (knock on door)
- Come in.
Heard a rumor you were back already.
The house is abuzz.
It's like Melrose Place in here.
Yeah, I'm back.
So, you guys are okay?
The queen admitted you
back into her castle?
Kate, you need to be
nicer to your mother.
Okay? You don't know everything.
In fact...
...I'm gonna talk to your
brothers, too but...
I wanted to talk to you first.
Something I need to tell you.
Um...
Part of the reason your
mom and I had a fight...
Katie girl, I...
I have a drinking problem.
And my father, he had
a drinking problem.
And I've kept that
hidden from you guys because...
...because I-I didn't want
you to know that about me.
I really didn't want
you to know that about me.
But you have to know.
And...
♪
I'm sorry.
I never wanted to disappoint you.
(sniffles) But I have to
be honest with you guys,
- because I need you guys.
- Dad.
♪
If you really want to do this,
let's take in an older kid
who no one else
in the whole damn world is gonna help.
Manny say what...?!
Casey, it's not your fault
the show is so bad.
It's you guys!
I quit.
BOBBY: I don't care
what dress size you wear.
You're not good enough, honey.
KATE: It wasn't about my weight;
It was about my lack of ability...
which is fantastic,
'cause I can do this.
I have been drunk for weeks.
If you have a problem,
we will fix it together.
I just need you to get in the car.
♪
Hey.
You kicked this once before,
you will kick it again.
It was not easy... Bec, back then.
But you stopped.
- Right?
- (whispers): Yeah.
I asked you to stop drinking,
and you stopped.
You did stop?
It's only been these
last few months this time.
How did you stop before, Jack?
♪
(phone ringing)
♪
We have some lovely diamond solitaires.
No, no, no. Diamonds...
diamonds are for anyone, okay?
My wife is not anyone.
You know Mary Tyler Moore?
- Sure.
- The actress? Good.
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay, you know Farrah Fawcett?
- (chuckles) Sure.
- Good.
Now, if you smush 'em
both together, that's my wife.
(softly): Ah.
♪
Hi, baby.
The drinking has to stop.
So if it's a problem, fix it.
Be a man and fix it.
JACK: No more drinking.
- Listen, you can't just stop.
- I can.
For you, I can.
I will.
♪
Pile drive! Whoo!
♪
(phone ringing)
REBECCA: Yes. Okay, finish this page,
and then we got to get
ready for school.
KATE: Okay.
- Hello.
- (man speaking indistinctly)
No, that's...
REBECCA: Got to get ready
for school. Let's go, let's go.
Yeah. I'm sorry, sir. That...
I thought the paperwork was
already filed on that permit.
- (man speaks indistinctly)
- Oh. I'm-I'm on my way now.
I'll-I'll do it when I get in, okay?
Yeah.
(Rebecca speaking indistinctly)
REBECCA: You need to take a shower.
- That's mine! It's mine!
- (kids clamoring)
It's mine!
♪
- No, you stop it!
- No, you stop it!
- Boys. Stop touching each other.
- You had... Stop it!
(boys shouting)
- Stop touching me!
- Hey!
Hi.
Jack Pearson. Have we met?
Have we met?
- Oh, we've met.
- (chuckles) Good morning.
- KEVIN: Dad, Dad, listen to this.
- Yeah? Yeah? What?
I pity the fool who runs home
crying to his mama!
- Okay.
- What do you think?
- It's my Mr. T.
- School talent show tonight.
- JACK: All right!
- Yeah.
- Hey, Dad.
- Yeah?
- I want to show you my talent.
- Okay.
Yeah, that's gonna kill, a yo-yo trick.
Kev. Cool it.
- It's a yo-yo trick!
- Cool it.
Yeah. I'll see you there after work.
- You better.
- Okay.
Hey, Bug, should we give
Daddy just a little preview?
- I don't want to.
- Just give him a little preview.
You-you don't want
to be nice to your dad?
Come on, let me see.
♪ But if we are wise ♪
♪ We know that there's ♪
♪ Always tomorrow ♪
♪ Lean on me. ♪
That was so good!
If you just hold out that last note
a little bit longer, though,
Bug, it'll be perfect.
But really good.
So good.
(mouthing)
♪
That one's my favorite.
Don't make fun of me.
Kevin, you've been eating six
ounces of plain chicken breast
every meal for the last two weeks.
Your ab game is strong, I promise.
Yeah. I know... look, I know
this whole thing seems stupid,
but this is a big deal to me, you know?
I mean, you're here, right?
My whole family's flying in.
The Manny made me, Soph.
It made me, and then it ruined me.
And now they ask me to return
to do this special episode,
but really I'm just returning
to the scene of the crime.
Right? Let's be honest.
I really need tonight to go well.
You know? I-I need to prove to everyone
that I'm the bigger man.
But, like, the funnier bigger man.
You know what I need? I need it to go
like when George Clooney returned to do
that last episode of ER...
do you remember that?
That was cool.
That's what I need.
That's what I'm going for.
I need people to love me...
the way they loved Clooney.
This is your least attractive side.
You know that, right?
Yeah.
(laughs)
All right, girls, time to go.
- Got your schoolwork?
- In our bags.
- You didn't pack any liquids...
- All under 3.4 ounces.
BETH: License?
- Uh, check. Rental car confirmation?
- Got it.
- We'll pack the trunk.
- RANDALL: What do you mean...
Don't start. We're better at it.
Excuse me.
- That's heavy. You sure you got it?
- I got it.
You guys...
- (Tess speaks indistinctly)
- Okay.
We have to do this?
We really have to travel
across country for the weekend
to see a taping of the least
funniest show in the world?
Yeah, we do. And don't do that
with the "not funny."
Kevin's sensitive... he already feels
like you don't think he's funny.
- I don't think he's funny.
- Well, don't say that.
You know we have to
tell the girls, right?
We're gonna foster a kid, bring
another child into the home,
- they need to know about it.
- I know.
Well, how come you haven't filled out
your forms, then, man? I finished mine.
- What, you want a cookie?
- We told the social worker
we'd have it to her by the end
of the day today, so...
I'll fill mine out
on the plane, I promise.
It's just so comprehensive.
And the questions are so personal.
"Are you usually home
from work by 6:00 p.m.?"
"Do you spend time in nature?"
"Are you sexually satisfied
by your partner?"
What the hell does that have to do
with what kind
of foster parent I'll be?
What did you put for
that one, by they way?
- I put "Generally yes."
- Uh-huh.
"Except when I want a quickie
and my husband needs
- too much romancing."
- What?!
You can't...
That's not funny.
- Neither is your brother.
- Ah-ha-ha-ha!
KATE: Tobe? Where's that
punch bowl that my mom sent us?
If we don't put it out,
she's gonna think that we don't use it.
- We don't use it.
- She can't know that.
Are those pigs in a blanket?
These are for Miguel, all right?
He loves these little cuties.
Really?
What? Miguel can get stuff, too.
Huh? Y'all been sleeping
on my boy Miguel.
Miguel gets no love.
And I feel that pain.
Miguel and I, we are simpatico.
All right? Two swarthy outsiders
with exotic names.
I just don't want my mom
thinking that we sit around
just stuffing our faces.
Hey. I made this dipping
sauce with nut cheese.
So it's healthy.
And it's fun to say, FYI.
- Nut cheese. All right?
- Okay.
And Miguel is the key to my plan
- to win over your mom.
- My mom thinks you're great.
Uh, your mom thinks I'm a guy
who has heart attacks
and falls through coffee tables.
What the hell? What the actual hell?
Why won't this throw just throw?
Why won't it just look normal?!
- What is happening?
- (panting)
Tobe...
you don't... you don't understand.
Every time my mom comes to visit,
she comes in hot, looks me up and down
like she's fitting me
for a freaking bra,
and then she starts criticizing me
with these seemingly
innocuous questions.
I...
Okay. I'm not going to overreact
to everything she says this time.
- Okay.
- I'm not gonna behave like a child.
- Good.
- (knock on door)
Grown-ups.
- Grown-ups.
- (groans)
All right.
- TOBY: Hey!
- KATE: Hi!
- Oh, sweetheart.
- Hi, Mom.
- ¿Como estas?
- Really good.
- Hi.
- KATE: How are you?
Oh, you look so good!
Let me look at you.
- You look so good.
- Do I smell pigs in a blanket?
Oh, Miguel, do you have a nose on you.
You sure as hell do. Come on.
I love pigs in a blanket.
He did make the dipping sauce
with nut cheese, so...
- Okay.
- Yeah.
- Come in.
- Thanks. Wow.
Look at this place.
Will you do your meltdown for me?
- Huh?
- That thing from TMZ when you quit.
No.
Oh, come on, it was
my favorite thing from the show.
Babe, that was not part of
the show. That-that was a...
That was a bad moment
of my life. I'm not...
- Why are you watching this crap?!
- Okay.
Shame on you for making me famous!
Shame on all of us!
No, that's not even close.
Babe, it was... I mean, I was...
I was, like... I was losing... I was...
I can't feel my face right now!
Shame on you for making me famous!
Shame on me for taking the money!
Shame on all of us!
(slow clapping)
Wonderful, Kevin, just wonderful.
It's literally like we're
picking up where we left off.
No. No. We, um...
We were just m... messing arou...
Listen, I, um...
Casey, I'm here to serve, okay?
Love the script.
I think it's great. Very funny.
I've got no notes, no questions.
So...
And the show, I mean, the show,
you know, it seems to be doing...
great without me.
I caught a couple episodes.
America seems to really be
liking the-the black Manny.
Which I think, hey,
you know, great for America.
Black Manny, you know?
Especially in these...
these times... we're... living in.
- I'm gonna go to my office.
- Okay.
(laughing)
What are you...
Well, thanks for the help.
♪
Well, that was brutal.
I need a drink.
(clears throat)
Liquid lunch?
No, I'm good. I got some
calls to catch up on.
♪
But as soon as they left for the day,
I went straight to the garage
where I knew I still had
a bottle hidden.
I've never felt so weak.
So small.
MAN: Thanks for sharing, Chris.
Would anyone else like to check in?
SOPHIE: I just got this new trampoline.
- It's so cool.
- Hey, Sophie.
- You want to see my talent?
- Sure.
KEVIN: It's gonna blow minds.
♪ Sometimes in our lives ♪
- ♪ We all have pain ♪
- (car horn honks)
Hey, Katie girl.
What are you doing here?
Just needed to see you.
Get in.
(Rebecca humming "Lean on Me")
That door goes to nowhere.
Staircase to nowhere,
a couple more doors to nowhere.
And that's the tour.
Man, I cannot believe
you guys came all this way
just for this; This is so great.
- Of course we were gonna come.
- RANDALL: Damn straight.
- Manny say what...?!
- There it is! (Laughs)
- Thank you, Randall.
- (laughter)
Manny say what?!
- No. Stop. Miguel. Just...
- It's nice.
Um, okay. The seats for you guys
are gonna be right here
in the front. Front row.
- Front row?
- Yes, the front row.
Are you kidding me? Only the best
seats for my best girls, right?
And that includes you, too, Beth.
And I want you to know
I think you're really
gonna enjoy this episode.
It's a funny one. Lots of funny stuff.
Okay.
KEVIN: All right, you guys,
I got to go get ready.
So do me a favor, can you please
be nice to Sophie? Please?
Kev, you know we like her
more than you.
- This is what I keep telling him.
- Yeah, okay.
So the tour's over.
I'm gonna go get ready.
Erin, Erin, right over here,
she's gonna take care of you, okay?
- And I will see you guys after.
- All right, buddy.
- All right. Thanks for coming.
- Have fun.
- Keep it hood, Kevin.
- Carry on.
Brian, good to see you.
Let's break legs tonight.
Britney, how are you?
Good to see you.
It's like I never left.
- Kevin, new pink page.
- Yeah. What's this?
Casey made some last-minute
revisions to the final scene.
REPORTER: ...Scored three times,
helping the Penguins...
- (station changes)
- (pop music playing)
(station changes, radio turns off)
Hey, are you excited about tonight?
What? What is that face?
Y-You love to sing.
Mom just makes it feel
like a job sometimes.
Well, she's just trying
to make you better, kiddo.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Dad... everything okay at work?
(scoffs) Yeah.
(chuckles) Yeah. Yeah.
Just, uh...
My boss has a way of making it
feel like a job sometimes.
(chuckles)
It's gonna be okay.
Yeah.
- You should get back to school.
- You should go back to work.
♪
Alright everybody.
Welcome to "The Manny".
- Let's hear it!
- (audience cheering)
Come on! You can do better than that.
Yeah!
Hey, I got one. Who wants to be
in a Manny dance competition?
- Anybody?
- Oh, me. I can do it.
- No, no, no, no, no.
- Right here!
- Hey, Randall.
- Hmm?
Enough already.
You avoided filling out
these damn forms the entire flight.
- Oh, uh...
- Here. We have some time.
You can fill them out now.
Fine, Beth. Fine.
- Fine.
- Okay.
What are you guys doing?
Nothing, it's just bills.
- Mommy, have some wine.
- Hmm?
- You relax when you have wine.
- All right.
Well, not everybody needs
to know that, okay?
- You know what? I need a walk.
- Oh.
Where you going?
The show's about to start.
It's okay. Kevin says
these things can take hours.
Yeah, but... D-Did you say hours?
Did you say hours?
We're gonna be watching
The Manny for hours?
Watch my purse, okay?
- Okay.
- Stay with your grandma.
(phone vibrating)
Hello.
Hey. You gonna tell me
what's on your mind?
- I just...
- Wh... Why do these forms
have you Randalling out so hard?
It's pride, right?
You don't want to put down on paper
that your dad had a drinking problem
and your bio dad had a drug problem.
- It's question 15.
- And you have a...
What's question 15?
"Do you think you can handle a kid
with a history of physical abuse,
sexual abuse, exposure to drugs?"
- Oh, I just put "yes" to everything.
- I know, Beth.
And what makes you think
we can handle that?
And we're not talking
about a baby here.
This is an older kid with
potentially serious issues.
I don't know, I just do.
Do you think that's
a good enough answer?
Because once we tell the girls,
there's no turning back.
- What exactly are you saying?
- Maybe we can't handle this.
Maybe we're biting off
more than we can chew.
- Are you really serious right now?
- Yes.
- What? Are we not...?
- (sighs)
I guess we're picking up
the pace now? Is that it?
I thought...
Great.
Okay. Thanks.
- What? Who was that?
- (chuckles)
It was the house band
- that I sent my demo to.
- Shut up.
(chuckles) They need me
to fill in tonight.
- Their singer got strep throat.
- That is awesome.
I knew strep throat had a
purpose. Good for strep throat.
Okay. I'm gonna go
to the sound check.
- Okay.
- Sound check?
Who has a sound check? For what?
Oh, it's not a big deal.
I... I got a singing gig for tonight.
What?
(chuckles): Kate, that's amazing.
Like I said, it's not a big deal, okay?
- So I'm gonna run, okay? You guys stay.
- Okay.
W-Wait. Wh-What, what um...
(clears throat)
What kind of place is it?
It's just, uh, you know,
a bar where people
sing at sometimes, so...
I remember when
I used to perform. Gosh.
The smoke was so thick you could
barely see through it. And...
...the first time I sang,
I don't think anybody was
even listening to me...
Wait, hold up. You used to sing?
(sighs) I'm sorry.
I'm a jackass, and I'm nervous.
It's okay.
- Bug, go-go break a leg.
- Go, go.
- All right. I love you.
- Bye, love you.
- I'll call you, okay?
- Okay. Yeah.
I'm sorry, that wasn't nice.
- ANNOUNCER: All right, everybody.
- Okay, okay.
It's time. You ready
to meet our cast?!
♪
♪
Excuse me.
How much for an hour?
The first one's on me.
Hey, you interested in training?
No. Just keeping a promise to my wife.
(laughter)
- Oh, no!
- (laughter continues)
Oh! No!
I've lost the baby.
(Kevin groans)
Manny say what?
(audience aahing, laughing)
- And we're out.
- (applause)
Hey. What's wrong?
You're crushing.
- Yeah.
- Don't you hear the crowd?
Casey adjusted the last scene.
He's trying to humiliate me.
I had this whole vision
of how this was gonna go.
It's gonna be mortifying.
Look, you came here to be Clooney.
Right? You think Clooney loved it
when he had to go back to ER...
You mean to reunite with
Julianna Margulies in Seattle?
Yeah, that's right.
I love that episode.
- Yeah.
- That was a bad example.
Look, Kevin, th-this stupid show
does not define you anymore.
Right? You-you came here
to do a job, to rise above.
So just be the bigger man.
Be Clooney.
Otherwise, what are we even doing here?
Hey, Kevin, uh, we need you
for the quick change.
Okay.
- Clooney.
- Mm.
I'm gonna Clooney the
hell out of this thing.
All right, thank you.
You know, I-I have a sister.
Her and my mom... oof!
- You know?
- Hmm.
Only time I fell through
a coffee table, that-that time.
(chuckles): That was not normal.
- (laughs): Of course.
- For...
Okay, I have to leave
and go to her show now.
This is her first real gig,
and I can't miss it,
so I hope you guys understand.
I do.
Ah, crap.
It's okay. I'll stay with the girls.
Thank you. Kevin will understand.
All right, yup.
Come on, come on.
Hey, superstar, are you
excited about tonight?
- I don't know.
- You don't know. What?!
What are you talking about?
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
You do know that you are
the greatest singer
in this house, right?
And on the planet, and maybe
in the entire universe?
So I have a little surprise for you.
I made this from the first dress
that I wore the first time I performed
in front of a whole bunch of people.
And I was really nervous,
and I'm telling you,
wearing this gave me confidence.
So, I thought that you might
want to go upstairs
and try it on, and
maybe wear it tonight?
- Yeah.
- You do? Okay.
Go upstairs.
I'm gonna pop in the shower,
and then I'll come in your room
and I'll help you get ready.
- Thanks, Mom.
- Okay, Bug.
♪
Mom! Mom!
- (shower running)
- REBECCA: ♪ Always tomorrow ♪
♪ Lean on me ♪
♪ When you're not strong ♪
♪ I'll be your friend ♪
♪ I'll help you carry on ♪
♪ For it won't be... ♪
Really? We're walking this fast?
I got up at 4:00 a.m.
to take a cross-country flight,
and I didn't get my workout in,
so this is my workout.
Will you just hear me out? Please?
Look, what if we get a kid
that has serious issues
that we're not prepared for?
Randall, no, we don't know what
kind of child we're gonna get,
but we didn't know what kind
of kids we were gonna get
the first two times, and they
turned out okay, didn't they?
But what if they didn't
turn out anything?
What if they were just
great to begin with?
- Don't you ever think about that?
- Think about what?
Maybe we didn't do that much, Beth.
I mean, Tess self-soothed
from two weeks old.
Annie was sleeping ten hours
a night from infancy.
Remember how other
parents would talk about
their sleepless nights
and their terrible babies?
Remember how we used to have to fake it?
What parents pretend to be tired, Beth?
And now we're gonna potentially
introduce a kid
with these kind of issues
- into our home.
- Randall, you're being ridiculous.
And I think you're being reckless.
Randall, you wanted to adopt.
And now you're Randalling out
on me like this was my idea.
Okay, stop making my name a thing!
And yes, I wanted to adopt.
Got my head around that months ago...
adopting a newborn,
clean-slate baby, like I was
when my parents found me,
but I'm worried, Beth.
Because that's what you do, Randall.
You worry, babe.
But we have talked about this a lot,
and we discussed
how difficult it could be,
and we came to a decision.
And now I'm jet-lagged,
you got me out here sweating,
and I traveled across country
to miss the taping of a sitcom
that I didn't want to come
see in the first place.
So can we please just table
the convo until we get home?
Please?
I guess the part that concerns me, Beth,
- is that we just...
- Oh, my God, you're driving me nuts.
Mm-mm. I'm walking.
- Beth...
- I love you, but I'm walking.
♪
You sure you don't want
to sing, sweetheart?
You practiced so hard.
- I think that's why my throat hurts.
- Yeah?
Did you finish your cough drop?
You know, I used to get really nervous
- before I sang...
- I don't want to.
Okay.
We'll get 'em next time then, Bug.
(applause)
Thank you. Hope you're all
having a great night.
And I hope that we can make it better.
(piano plays gentle intro
to Fleetwood Mac's "Landslide")
♪ I took my love and I took it down ♪
♪ Climbed a mountain ♪
- ♪ And I turned around ♪
- Shh. Shh.
♪ And I saw my reflection ♪
♪ In the snow-covered hills ♪
♪ Till the landslide brought it down ♪
♪ Oh, mirror in the sky ♪
♪ What is love? ♪
♪ Can the child within
my heart rise above? ♪
♪ Can I sail through
the changing ocean tide? ♪
♪ Can I handle the seasons ♪
♪ Of my life? ♪
♪ I don't know ♪
♪ Well, I've been afraid of changin' ♪
♪ 'Cause I built my life around you ♪
♪ But time makes you bolder ♪
♪ Even children get older ♪
♪ And I'm getting older, too... ♪
Hi. I'm Kevin, and I will be
doing my impression of Mr. T.
Got no time for the jibber-jabber!
I pity the fool!
(silence)
(Sophie laughing)
GIRL: Come on, Manny.
The only way to find a baby
is to think like a baby.
(laughter)
(laughter continues louder)
(laughing)
(applause)
(laughter)
(laughter continues louder)
All right, baby.
Where are you, baby?
Where are you? Come to me.
Where are you, baby?
(laughter continues)
♪ Well, I've been afraid of changin' ♪
♪ 'Cause I've built my life around you ♪
♪ But time makes you bolder ♪
♪ Even children get older ♪
♪ And I'm getting older, too ♪
♪ Oh, I'm getting older, too ♪
♪ I took my love and I took it down ♪
♪ I climbed a mountain
and I turned around... ♪
You almost missed Mr. T.
I know. I had to...
take care of something.
It's all good.
It's done. It's done.
♪ Covered hills ♪
♪ Well, the landslide'll bring it down ♪
♪ Oh, the landslide'll bring it... ♪
♪ ...down. ♪
Ha!
Shh.
I'm sorry.
I saw your name on the door.
It's okay. No. Yup, yup.
It's, you know... fine.
Missed the show, by the way.
- I'm so sorry, Kevin.
- It's okay.
It's all right.
You know, it's The Manny.
I know it's not exactly your cup of tea.
Randall's driving me nuts.
Yeah? Yeah, I know, he'll do that.
We're adopting, you know...
well, fostering,
and now he's freaking out,
like we're not up for it.
He's freaking out
and second-guessing.
Yeah, well, I mean, he'll do that, too.
You know my brother
doesn't attempt anything
unless he's positive
he'll succeed at it, right?
I know it. I... I guess that's true.
I mean, there was this one time,
this... this one time his entire life.
It was in college, and, you
know, this girl at a party...
This really, really, like,
badass, dreadlocked girl,
who was, by the way, like...
let's be honest...
17 times out of his nerdy,
sweater-vested-wearing league.
He had no shot in hell at her.
- But he, uh...
- (Beth laughs)
He asked her out anyway.
He called her on the phone.
Good God, he was so nervous,
he made me sweat.
Yeah, I bet.
I still remember his
opening line, you know?
- Mm.
- It was so cheesy.
He was like, "You don't
know who I am, but..."
"But you're about to."
- Wait.
- I'm sorry, you thought
Randall had that kind of game at 19?
Who do you think was
Cyrano-ing the entire thing?
Wait a minute. You?
You... Beth, you fell
for the Manny's game.
Now, you sit there,
and you just think about that
- for a second, little bit.
- Oh, no. It hurts.
- Yeah.
- Damn.
I got got.
You know, Beth, that's the only time
in my brother's entire life
that he's actually risked failure.
It's the only time.
You know how hard that was for him?
How scary that was for him?
The man was terrified.
You know I think you're funny, Kevin.
I know.
You laughed at all my jokes
that night on the phone.
Wait a minute.
You were on the line, too?
- Yep.
- Mm-mm. Forget it.
I don't even want to know.
- Some things are better left unsaid.
- (Groans)
Okay, so, I got your number.
Let's do this again sometime.
I would love that. Thanks.
- Yeah. See you.
- All right.
- G-Good night.
- Bye.
- That was great. That was great.
- Oh.
REBECCA: That was phenomenal.
Absolutely phenomenal.
And, I'm telling you, I-in time,
you will learn to power
through a crowd like this.
But it was amazing.
You see?
This is why I didn't want you to come.
Uh, I'm-I'm gonna...
I'm just gonna go pay the tab.
Even though we didn't
get anything. Yeah. Okay.
(sighs) You know what?
No, I told myself...
I wasn't gonna do this;
I wasn't gonna end
this visit feeling bad,
you know, about what I've said
or what I haven't said to you, so...
I'm just not gonna say anything.
Kate.
Sweetheart, you sang
incredibly beautifully.
You should be so happy right now.
- "Incredibly beautifully"?
- Mm-hmm.
Why do you do that?
Do what? I'm complimenting you.
I'm proud of you.
No, you feel sorry for me.
(chuckles) What on earth
would make you think that, Kate?
You overcompensate for me, Mom,
and you always have.
And here I am, a 37-year-old woman,
and you still make me
feel like a stupid...
fat, little kid.
I'm sorry. What have I ever done
to make you feel like that?
- I'm not gonna do this.
- Kate.
- I want to know. What have I ever done?
- You existed.
- It's everything about you, Mom.
- (sighs)
It's not just that you're
beautiful or thin.
Or that you have perfect pitch
even when you talk.
It's everything.
And you wanted a daughter like you,
- and I was never gonna be you.
- No. No.
I never wanted you to be like me, Kate.
No! You wanted me to be the
you that you never became.
Well, you did it, Ma.
You got me to say
terrible, unfair things.
Least you could do
is say something terrible back.
I-I just can't think of anything
that would be...
quite that terrible, is the thing.
You're my entire life, Kate.
You know that. You and your
brothers are my entire life.
(whispering): Kate.
You were just my little girl.
My little Bug.
In your own world.
Maybe you're right.
Maybe I... maybe I overdid it.
Maybe I pushed you too hard.
Maybe I did that.
(sighs)
I love you.
And I'm sorry, but...
(exhales) Now this...
this is going to be the memory
of my very first real gig.
This.
I'm sorry. I'm gonna be in the car.
Am I... (sighs)
Am I crazy? Or am I doing
what she says I'm doing
and making her feel...
Okay, okay. B-Between you and me,
I think that she is
super sensitive around you.
And, obviously, I don't
know the whole history,
but as much as I want you
- to like me, you need to know
- Mm-hmm.
that I am Team Kate for life.
Like, that's the deal here.
So I can't have you
putting me in a position
where I bring you to a show
that she doesn't want you at,
and you can't ask me
to side with you, okay?
Because...
Team Kate.
Forever.
- That's how this works.
- Got it.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Uh, shall we commence
the awkward car ride home?
♪
(sighs)
So, I've realized
I really like your fiancé.
(chuckles softly)
Now there, that's the
Lucille Ball building.
You know who Lucille Ball was, right?
- No. -No.
- You don't?
RANDALL: She was like the girl
from The Thundermans
but even funnier.
Hey, hold on.
- One second. Be right back.
- Hmm?
Hey, babe.
I know I've been getting on your n...
♪
Our girls came out good.
It's true.
But we made them great.
They make us great.
We can do this.
You and me, we can do anything.
I know.
You let your brother listen on the line
when you were asking me out
for the first time?
I did.
Crazy.
(whispers): I am.
Hey, girls.
Mommy and Daddy want to talk
to you about something.
♪
(whispers): Hi.
I kept it to myself last time.
But it can't be like that again.
I know.
(Jack sighs)
- (knock on door)
- Come in.
Heard a rumor you were back already.
The house is abuzz.
It's like Melrose Place in here.
Yeah, I'm back.
So, you guys are okay?
The queen admitted you
back into her castle?
Kate, you need to be
nicer to your mother.
Okay? You don't know everything.
In fact...
...I'm gonna talk to your
brothers, too but...
I wanted to talk to you first.
Something I need to tell you.
Um...
Part of the reason your
mom and I had a fight...
Katie girl, I...
I have a drinking problem.
And my father, he had
a drinking problem.
And I've kept that
hidden from you guys because...
...because I-I didn't want
you to know that about me.
I really didn't want
you to know that about me.
But you have to know.
And...
♪
I'm sorry.
I never wanted to disappoint you.
(sniffles) But I have to
be honest with you guys,
- because I need you guys.
- Dad.
♪