This Is Us (2016–…): Season 1, Episode 13 - Three Sentences - full transcript

Previously on This Is Us...

I've decided to have
gastric bypass surgery.

- Uh, I'm gonna do it.
- Do what?

The surgery. I just don't
want you to freak out, okay?

Don't worry about me freaking out.

Uh, well, I do have to
worry about it, Kate,

because the thing is, is that
I'm kind of in love with you.

I'd marry the hell out
of you, Kate Pearson.

Yeah, I'm gonna continue to date Sloane

because she's kind, and
she's sweet, she's funny.

And-and, you know what?
Sometimes you just got to



do the right thing, even
if it's not what you want.

This cancer is coming
for me sooner than later.

I can feel it.

The medication isn't working anymore.

Do you want to stop the chemo, Will?

(singer vocalizing)

(movie projector clicking)

_

Surprise!

Yeah!

(indistinct talking)

- Perfect. Yes!
- JACK: Oh!

REBECCA: (clapping) Good job.

Oh, is that what we're doing now?



♪ And maybe I won't, what if I do ♪

- ♪ And what if she don't? ♪
- (Rebecca screams)

KIDS: We love cake!

We love cake! We love cake!

One, two, three!

(laughter)

♪ Say good-bye ♪

JACK: Eyes closed. Eyes closed.

- REBECCA: Smile.
- (all yell)

JACK: That's it, putting
this camera down.

- Oh!
- (yells)

(indistinct yelling)

He's in, he's in, he's in.

I'm going deep.

Oh, no.

(crickets chirping)

- Baby, I can't do it.
- Oh, come on.

Kids are turning ten tomorrow, right?

They don't need more toys, but a dog.

Baby,

our beautiful children
need a beautiful dog.

Okay.

- Get them a dog.
- Okay.

And then get them a new
mommy who will walk it.

That's fair enough, but, um...

do you, uh, do you want
to interview these women,

- or do you trust my judgment?
- (laughs)

Oh, you're lucky you're cute.

- But am I cute enough to get lucky?
- I don't know, are you?

KEVIN: Guys, we need to have a meeting.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

What happened to knocking, huh?

And since when do you call meetings?

Yeah, last I checked, we...

- we call the meetings.
- Yeah.

You attend the meetings, and
then we continue to feed you.

That's-That's the deal. What's up?

We want our own birthday
parties this year.

- What?
- What?

But you guys love
sharing a birthday party.

You get the... the three layer cake,

and the birthday banner,

- and pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey.
- The... donkey.

Mom, we're gonna be ten, we're
too old for donkeys and banners.

I want a Madonna party.

Sophie and I love Madonna.

- You do?
- Hold on a second, who's Sophie?

- My best friend.
- What happened to Grace?

- We drifted.
- I want a Princess Bride party.

- Princess Bride? (chuckles)
- You want what?

Kevin, seriously, you were
terrified by that movie.

That's when I was nine.

Now that I'm gonna be ten, I love it.

Okay.
Hey, Randall!

- Come in here, son.
- RANDALL: What's going on?

Are we all getting
checked for lice again?

REBECCA: No. (sighs)

Baby, do you want your
own birthday party, too?

- Meh
- REBECCA: Kevin!

- Hey.
- Stop.

Uh, maybe we could invite
some of your friends from school.

That's okay. They have a
rule that if you have a party,

you have to invite the whole class.
It's too many kids.

- The whole class?
- So we do the whole class.

The whole class!

Can I have a magician?

Uh... yeah.

- Right?
- Okay, I'm in.

Okay, so...

Meeting's over. Thank you, everybody.

Thanks for stopping by!

I know, "shut the door".

(door closes)

What just happened?

Uh...

So, let's talk dates
for your gastric bypass.

Yeah.

Does the first week of
February work for you?

Yeah, or...

never at all.

Either one of those sound good to me.

Kate...

what's going on?

- I got engaged.
- Congrats.

Thank you.

But my fiancé...

sorry, that's just crazy to say.

Fiancé.

I have a fiancé. I feel so French.

- Your fiancé...
- Uh...

he just had heart surgery.

And it was terrifying.

And the thought of either one
of us having surgery, it...

Wait, am I insane for
wanting to bail? I don't know.

Oh. I-I just don't think it's
the right time for surgery.

At least not now.

But... (sighs) Damn.

I was excited to lose
some serious weight,

and quick.

Kate...

have you ever considered an
immersive weight loss experience?

A fat camp?

There is a incredible facility upstate,

in the Adirondacks.

It's a month-long program.

No distractions,

no temptations.

Total focus and a lot of hard work.

I'm late. I'm late. Juice?

- Oh.
- Yeah.

- Bam.
- Thanks.

And how about some yogurt real quick?

Can't, Tyler wants
to see me first thing.

- About what?
- Mm-mm.

What's cookin', good lookins?

- (laughs)
- Oh, you know.

- Wednesday.
- Ah, Wednesday,

the meat in the
Tuesday-Thursday sandwich,

and what a sweet, sweet
meat sandwich it is.

You okay, William?

Okay? Am I okay?

Mm, yeah, that's the
question on the table.

"Okay" does not do
justice to how I feel.

I feel better than
I've felt in months.

Mm.

- I feel like sex, I feel like magic,
- (slurps)

I feel like music, which reminds me,

Tess lent me her iPad.

IPod. That's an iPod.

You say "pod," I say "pad."

Let's call the whole thing off. (laughs)

Can you show me how to
put my music in this?

- I've really got to run.
- Thanks, son. I'll go get my list.

Okay.

♪ ♪

- Ooh!
- Uh...

Chemo boost.

Happened to my dad when
he stopped his treatment.

His energy's not being zapped anymore.

Well, good, I guess.

Hey, can you help him with his music?

- I got to run.
- Sure.

But how about having a little yogurt...

No time for yogurt, baby.
No time for yogurt. Love you.

I got a hot minute for some yogurt.

Hey, you.

- Have a good weekend? Yeah?
- Mm-hmm.

Good to hear. Mine was all right.
I, um, saw a movie...

No.

- With, uh...
- No.

- What's "no"?
- No small talk.

No pretending like
things are good with us.

You said that dating me
was the right thing to do.

You basically called me

the girl equivalent of
wearing a seat belt in a cab.

Okay, listen, I understand...

No, okay, we work together. That's it.

Let's come in, rehearse
the play, get out.

Okay.

- Great.
- Great.

Still really, you know,
feel like you would've loved

my movie recommendation, so...

Your loss.

TOBY: Did you remember

to write your name in
all of your underwear?

(giggles) It's not that kind of camp.

- Oh, okay.
- Okay?

Are you sure that you're
okay with me doing this?

I know this isn't the
best timing for us.

Of course I am okay with it.

Kate, we have the rest of
our lives to spend together.

Or at least the rest of mine,
I had a heart attack at 40,

- so I'm going first, obvi.
- Toby.

Look, this is an incredible opportunity,

and I want you to do it for yourself.

And Dr. Singh doesn't want me

travelling for at
least another two weeks

so I will just get to know
the Big Apple a little bit.

Do you know anyone in the city?

Not a soul.

But I will be fine.

If Macaulay Culkin can do it, so can I.

(laughs)

I love you.

I love you, too.

- (sighs) This is gonna be so awesome.
- Yeah.

- I bet it's gonna be so hardcore.
- Uh-huh.

- I'm gonna puke so much.
- Oof.

But I'm not gonna be one of
those people who complains.

- Uh-uh.
- I'm just gonna... puke.

Yeah, that's the-that's
the right attitude.

Yeah, and I'm gonna have
a skinny bitch trainer

Uh-huh.

Who's gonna scream at me until
I cry a pool full of tears.

(laughs)

And then I'm gonna swim a
hundred laps in that pool.

(laughing): Yeah!

That's disgusting, but yeah.

(chuckles)

Thank you for being so supportive.

That's what fiancé's do.

Well, thank you, fiancé.

Oh, you're welcome, fiancée.

- Let's stop doing that.
- Okay, yeah, it was enough.

- Yeah, that was disgusting.
- Yeah.

Hey, sorry I'm late.

Family's a little nuts right now.

You wanted to see me?

Yeah, yeah, come in, come in.

Randall, do you know Sanjay Jahiri?

Only by reputation.

Randall Pearson.

Um, sorry, I biked in from Brooklyn.

Apologies if I'm a little sweaty.

That's all good in the hood.

TYLER: So, did Sarah tell you

about our potential
new wind farm client?

In pre-construction, in Alberta, yeah.

Calgary.

Which is a city in the
province of Alberta.

Sorry. Was just specifying.

Appreciate that, Sanjay,
I know the specifics.

TYLER: Sanjay's gonna come
aboard help us land them.

Really?

I-I was hoping to throw my hat
in the ring for that account.

Oh, well, given Sanjay's background
in, uh, renewable energy...

I've got interest in renewable, too.

Uh, I at least deserve a shot at this.

Sir.

Fair enough.

Why don't you both work on a derivative.

Get it to me by the end of the week.

End of the week? I can
probably have something to you

by tomorrow morning.

Sanjay, sound good?

No problem here.

TYLER: May the best derivative win.

God, what we do would be
a terrible reality show.

(chuckles)

REBECCA (on TV): ♪ Spin,
spin, spin, spin, spin ♪

And turn, and turn...

REBECCA: Perfect.

Thank you so much, see you tomorrow.

Buh-bye. Ah.

- Magician's confirmed.
- Nice.

How are the Madonna gloves coming along?

Eh... good... good.

- (chuckles)
- Where'd you find this?

Pulled it up from the basement.

God, wasn't Randall so cute?

He's still cute.

Yeah, he's fine. He was
cuter when he was five.

JACK: Close, close.

REBECCA: Close, close, close.

I can't believe we're not gonna play

pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey this year.

And we're probably never
gonna play it again, huh?

Wow.

- Hey, Jack?
- Yeah.

I think this whole
thing is really sweet,

but in less than 12 hours

we're gonna have 45 kids
here for three different

birthday parties, so maybe
a little less reminiscing...

... a little bit more bedazzling?

- Yep.
- Thank you.

KATE: Eyes closed.

REBECCA: Eyes closed.

Eyes closed.

- Hey, Bec?
- Yeah?

What if we had another kid?

REBECCA: Okay, do you want to try?

Good job, hon.

Keep your eyes closed,
remember. No peeking!

♪ ♪

Jack, we can barely take care of
the three children we do have.

Yeah, but they're not
gonna be kids much longer.

I mean, they're ten.
That's halfway to adulthood.

Just barely.

And do you remember what happened

the last time we tried to have a kid?

- What?
- We came home with three!

Randall's voice, at a
certain point, is gonna drop.

And then Kevin's gonna...

get one of those weird,
wispy mustaches.

And Kate... Kate's gonna get womanly.

And they're not gonna need us anymore,

but, you know, with kids...

Jack... (chuckles)

you are the love of my life.

- Yeah.
- And our kids are...

my everything.

(sighs) And?

That's it.

- (scoffs)
- I'm done having kids.

- 12 hours.
- 45 kids.

- Yeah.
- Got it.

What about a dog?

- No.
- No?

- Mr. Pearson?
- Hmm?

Your father's here to see you.

- Hi.
- Hey.

Thought I'd stop up,
see where you worked.

Man, I haven't been
this high since the '90s.

- (chuckles)
- How'd you get here?

I took the bus. Look at all this.

Fit for a king.

"But what are kings,
when regiment is gone,

but perfect shadows in a sunshine day?"

Christopher Marlowe.

- (chuckles)
- Hey, you get a lunch break?

I was thinking I might
like to hit the town,

accessorize the ol' wardrobe.

- What?
- Yeah,

I got to step my look up
if I'm gonna meet my maker.

I thought you might come with me.

Oh, wow. I'd love to.

I really would, but, uh,

I'm working through lunch today.

- Ah.
- Hey, can't Jessie go with you?

I can't trust his opinion.

He thinks I look good in everything.

Look, I don't mean to bother,

but it's such a nice day out.

I don't know how many
of those I got left.

Can't argue with that.

No, you really cannot.

Well, all right.

Have a nice lunch.

It's not a full lunch, buddy.

Just grabbing a quick bite.

WOMAN: Up ahead is the annex.

That's where we have
yoga, drumming classes,

cooking classes,
mindful eating workshops.

And over here, is the horse's stable.

So, where's the gym?

Did, like, did I miss it or... ?

Oh, no, we have one, of course.

It's just not the primary
focus of our campus.

Oh. I was thinking I was gonna
spend most of my time there.

You know, pick a treadmill and,
like, really go to town on it.

Yeah, well, we aren't your typical

weight loss program, Kate.

We aren't trying to provide
a quick cosmetic fix.

We're focusing on the deeper work...

Tackling the issues that
lie beneath the weight.

Oh, well, that's easy.

'Cause beneath the weight,
there is more weight.

- (phone buzzing)
- Oh...

We encourage guests

to disconnect as much as possible.

Oh, I'm sorry, it's a family emergency.

Hey, Kev. What's your emergency?

How'd you know?

Wait, are you actually having one?

I can feel Sloane's wrath.

It actually has heat on it.

Her wrath is making me sweat.

This is not the first time
a girl has been mad at you.

She's more than mad, trust me.

Anyway, how's camp?

I'm not sure. It feels like a cult.

Or Whole Foods.

I don't know. Hey,

can you call Toby? He
doesn't know anyone here,

and it would just be nice if
you could hang out with him.

Are you serious?

I can't believe this,
I call to get help,

I got to end up doing something nice?

I'll text you his number.

Love you. Got to go. Bye.

Boyfriend?

Brother.

Good.

I have a boyfriend.

Well, actually, fiancé.

Oh. Well...

we'll see.

JACK: Let's go, out of the kitchen.

Hey, fellas, no touching the cake

till the candles are on it, all right?

KEVIN: My name is Inigo Montoya!

Slow down...

- You killed my father!
- Babe?

- Prepare to die!
- Babe, popcorn?

Kevin, off the table, please.

- Off the table.
- JACK: Kevin, hey.

Listen to your mother, all right?

I know it's your
birthday, but... Hey, wow!

You guys look so great!

(gasps) Oh, my God, it's Madonna!

- (girls giggle)
- Wow, Madonna!

Have you seen my daughter, Kate?

This is actually... this
is her birthday party.

And I know she would love to meet you.

Dad.

(gasps) Kate!

How did I not recognize you?

Why didn't somebody
tell me that is was Kate?

She looks like Madonna! Wow.

You look so great.

Thanks, Dad.

Sophie's here!

Hey, Kate. Happy birthday.

I like your gloves.

Ah, they're okay. Come on.

Hey, I stayed up all night
bedazzling those, kiddo.

My God, what is happening to my life?

- REBECCA: Jack?
- Yeah?

I need you outside.

(scoffs) Where is everyone?

I don't know. It's just Yvette's boys

and one kid from his school.

JACK: Didn't we invite the entire class?

Yes.

Okay, let's go find out what's going on.

Hey, Randall, come here a sec.

- Hey.
- Yeah?

Where are all the other
kids from your school?

- Yeah.
- Oh, they're probably not gonna come.

Why? Did you forget to
hand out the invitations?

No. I handed them out.

It's just that they're not my friends.

Come on, man, that's not true.

Yeah, you get invited to all
of their birthday parties.

Because of the rule.

They wouldn't invite me
if it wasn't for the rule.

Well, bud, why... why didn't you tell us

that nobody was gonna show up?

I didn't want you to be upset.

Why would we be upset?

Do we look upset?

- Come on. (chuckles)
- No.

A little bit.

- No.
- We're not upset at all.

How can they not like Randall?

I don't know, he's the best.

He's so sweet and smart and he's funny.

Like, actually funny.

- I know!
- Not just little kid funny.

(sighs)

Is it because he's black?

Come on.

Those racist bastards.

Right? Jack, don't...

- don't get emotional.
- I'm not emotional.

I'm not emotional, you're emotional.

- I'm not emotional.
- Okay.

Well, we got to get it together.

Why don't we

poach kids from one of
the other two parties

and send them out to Randall's?

Okay, great, we take three from there,

that'll double his party.

- Perfect.
- Yeah?

Okay, let's go steal some kids.

Oh man, I never spent a whole day
with a famous person before.

I went to a dinner party once
with the guy who came in eighth

on Carrie Underwood's season of Idol,

but obviously, you're
way better than that.

Well, thank you, Toby.
I appreciate that.

Malia, how are you? Good to see you.

Oh, he knows the rope girl
by name. Of course he does.

Hello, Malia.

Please give my regards to Sasha.

It's an Obama joke.

(whistles) Toby?

- Yeah?
- Come on.

- All right.
- Here we go.

(chuckles) This place is incredible.

You see those two women?

They look like Westworld hosts.

KEVIN: Not interested.

Whatever conversation
I'd have with those girls,

I guarantee you, Toby,

I've had it a billion times before.

It goes like this:

"You watch The Manny? Really?"

"Yes, the baby is cute in real life."

"You want to get into acting, too?"

"Well, that's phenomenal."

Margarita, Tequila Soda,

Tequila Rocks, tequila shot,

hotel, sex, room service,

shower, sex, Uber. It's...

It's hard to believe we're
even the same species.

Olivia, right,

w-was exciting,

you know, a-and... and dark and sexy

and the whole thing
was just... it was...

(chuckles) it was intoxicating.

And t-then Sloane, Sloane was...

she was great in her own way.

She was just adorable, you know?

A-And intelligent and interesting,

and so I... I chose Sloane.

But now...

now I'm wondering if I
should have chosen Olivia.

And I...

All right, well, we
don't have to stand around

and get drunk and
flirt with supermodels.

We could just...

talk, if you like. (sighs)

(in deep voice) About your feelings.

- Really?
- Yeah.

How do you not like magic?

FEZZIK (on video) Anybody want a peanut?

Uh, hey. Excuse me.

Hey, bud, do you like magic?

'Cause I hear there's
an awesome magician

outside in the backyard.

- I'm good.
- You're good?

- You sure?
- Hey, babe.

- Come on over here a second.
- Wow.

- What?
- You know what doesn't say "I'm good"?

- What?
- A baby.

- Jack.
- Mm-hmm.

(gasps) There's the birthday boy!

How's everything going
outside? Are you having fun?

Yep. Just going to the bathroom.

Bud, I'm sorry

more people didn't come
to your birthday party.

I bet they wanted to
come, but they probably

had other things going on
that they couldn't get out of.

No, they didn't. They're
just not my friends.

But I don't care.

I have three really good friends.

That's a lot. And they
all came to my party.

Okay.

Are you still liking your new school?

'Cause I feel like you're
always telling Dad and I

how much you love it and
how much fun you're having.

Oh, yeah, my teachers are awesome.

And at lunch, I hang out with Andrew.

We're making a book of mazes.

You are? That's awesome.

(smacks lips) Randall, you
are the coolest kid I know.

Thanks. Can I go pee now?

Yeah, go pee.

(chuckles softly)

♪ ♪

♪ Testify ♪

How you doin'?

What's going on?

♪ That's for real ♪

Nope. (chuckles)

♪ I ain't got no drama ♪

These are an eight,
I'm shooting for a ten.

Okay, okay.

I'd take another look at that last pair.

They felt mighty ten-ish.

Here they are.

Ah.

♪ Baby's been good to me... ♪

(chuckles)

What do you think?

I think you got the perfect
head shape for sunglasses.

I also think I need to get back.

One more stop.

I need an egg cream.

What's that now?

It's a soda with milk in it.

Fox's chocolate syrup.

It's got to have Fox's chocolate syrup.

I'll take these.

(kids chattering happily)

Okay.

Hmm? Okay what?

Okay...

to having a conversation about it.

What, seriously?

Jack, I just talked to
Randall and he is amazing.

And I know that we can't
take credit for his genes,

but we raised him.

- We did that.
- Yeah.

And he's this...
incredible little person.

So maybe it wouldn't
be so bad to shape...

another little incredible person.

Ew.

- Yep. Chips. Okay.
- Yeah, let's go get chips.

Imagine you are a tree with
roots growing deeper...

If a distraction emerges, just
acknowledge it

and return to your stillness.

Growing deeper and deeper into...

(indistinct)

(birds chirping)

Birds!

(drums beating, drumsticks clacking)

Just starting off nice and slow.

Just like that, getting
the bodies moving.

There we go.

And down, swing.

I'm good.

INSTRUCTOR: No, it's all right.
We're all sweating together.

Hey, Tobe, it's me.

Uh, these people are insane,

and I am seriously gonna need you

to come and get me right n...

What is wrong with you?

Your voice is annoying my horses.

Well, your horses can deal.

Yeah, well, I can't.

Your voice is annoying me, too.

No, no, no. Hold on.

Okay, um, I am not gonna be insulted

by the fat camp horse
guy today... I'm just not.

I need to get the hell
up out of this place.

Good for you.

This place is... pointless.

I didn't say that.

It's a total waste of money.

So we're fat. I'm fat, you're fat.

So what? What difference does it make?

It's cells. We just have more of 'em.

- Actually, it's more than that...
- People come here,

lose a few pounds,

learn how to roast
some Brussels sprouts.

And then they go home
thinking they're transformed.

But deep down...

they're the same.

It's a joke.

People trying to change their lives

is not a joke.

People don't change.

You know it and I know it.

That's why you're quitting.

En garde! (acting along with scene
playing in The Princess Bride on TV)

My name is Inigo Montoya!

You killed my father!

Prepare to die.

(laughter)

REBECCA: Inigo.

- (TV playing)
- Yeah.

Dad, my hair's cool,
right? It's doing the thing?

It's doing the thing.

REBECCA: Why are all
of the Madonnas in here?

- Where's your sister?
- I don't know.

- Jack...
- I'm on it, I got it.

MADONNA (singing on stereo):
♪ I'm gonna lose my mind ♪

♪ You just keep on
pushing my love... ♪

- Hi, baby.
- Hi.

Why aren't you with all your
friends at Kevin's party?

No one wanted to learn how to Vogue.

What? Why not?

They all like Kevin more than me.

- Everyone does.
- Come on, no, that's not true.

- Yes, it is.
- No, it's not true.

- Yes, it is.
- No.

You think I like Kevin
more than I like you?

Honestly, I can barely stand the guy.

Ha, ha.

Hey, you know what I think?

I think that your Madonna party

is just too cool for most ten-year-olds.

But it makes me want to Vogue.

But I-I don't know how to Vogue.

Can you show me?

Come on, help your dad
out. Show me how to Vogue.

I-I know you can teach me how to Vogue.

Okay.

- Okay, how do I do it?
- Make L's with your hands.

- Like this? Okay.
- Yeah.

- Oh, this side.
- Both, both sides.

- Both sides. We keep switching?
- Yeah.

Are we Vogue-ing? (gasps)

We're Vogue-ing?!

Wow! I had no idea it was
this much fun to Vogue.

- (chuckling)
- Do we sit, or do we stand up?

Here, let's stand up.
Let's try standing up.

- And we Vogue.
- Dad.

- Yeah?
- Strike a pose!

Strike a pose.

Awesome. Hey, Kate. Strike a pose.

Hey, you know what,

- let's crank this up.
- Dad?

Yeah, baby?

♪ Borderline... ♪

I just kinda want to be alone right now.

♪ Like I'm going to lose my mind ♪

Okay.

Okay.

Um...

Well, you just come join the other party

when you're ready, okay?

- ♪ Borderline ♪
- Whenever you're ready.

Okay?

We'll be over here.

Thanks, Dad.

Yeah.

♪ Over the borderline ♪

♪ Borderline. ♪

Let me... Let me see if I got this.

You had two amazing women,...

- and you let them both go?
- Yeah.

I already know that much, thank you.

Well, lucky for you, I am the king

of romantic grand gestures.

You really kind of are.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

See, while you were out seducing women

with your master race bone structure

and your perfect man-bod,

I was logging two solid decades

of actually doing nice things for women

so that they fall for me.

And on top of that...

And I'm not exaggerating here...

I have seen every
romantic comedy ever made.

So... you just need to pick a girl,

and I'm gonna help you win her back.

Okay, I...

- I pick, um...
- Yeah?

I mean, they're both great. I-I...

Okay, okay, Kevin,
Kevin, Kevin, look at me.

A romantic gesture of this magnitude

is only effective if it is directed

at the love of your life.

All right, the end
of Notting Hill

completely falls apart
if Hugh Grant thinks

that Julia Roberts is just kinda a'ight.

All right? Then he's
just kind of annoying her

at a press conference, right?

I've never seen that movie.

Shut up. What?

- Never.
- What?!

Alright, Kevin, close your eyes.

- What are you gonna do?
- Close your eyes.

All right, now, I want you to
picture the love of your life.

Imagine that you have 30
seconds to win her back.

One shot, three sentences.

What are those sentences,

and who are you saying them to?

There it is.

- I got it.
- I got... All right.

- We're doing this.
- Okay.

- Toby, you're a stud. You know that?
- That's what I've been trying...

Oh, we're moving? Okay.
I'm getting the car.

Say, uh... Hey, William,
I have a question.

The only bad question is a question...

Yep, got it. That's why I'm asking.

Uh, we just went to
three different diners

looking for your perfect egg cream.

One had Hershey's
syrup instead of Fox's.

The other one didn't
have any to-go cups.

Sounds like a recap, not a question.

My question is why,
after we finally found

your perfect egg cream that passed

your egg cream litmus
test, why, William...

why are you not drinking it?

It's not the right time yet.

Oh, okay, no problem.
Then I got plenty of time.

Nothing career-defining
going on at work...

- Can we pull over right here?
- Right here?

- Pull into this parking lot.
- Sure.

Sure, that's...

Mm-hmm.

Okay. Now what?

I was hoping to drive your car.

You want to...

Drive your car. Yes.

Okay.

(chuckling): All right, cool.

You got it?

Mm-hmm.

Whenever you're ready.

Could you plug this in to
something and push play?

Mm-hmm.

(mid-tempo jazz playing)

Hmm. (chuckles)

Uh, what's happening?

When I was a little boy in Memphis,

there was this record shop, Hoppy's.

I hear they tore it down
a couple of years ago.

When I was a kid, that was the place.

They'd let you listen to any record,

even if you wasn't gonna buy it.

One of the owners... Mo
Moretti was his name...

He could look at you and tell
what song you needed to hear.

Every Saturday morning,
we would wait for Mo

to open up shop.

He'd drive up in his
all-black Cadillac Series '62,

tunes flowing out the windows,

cool shades, drinking a grape soda.

(chuckles)

I always wanted to be like Mo.

Even if just for a minute.

Driving around in a cool car,

drinking my favorite drink,

listening to my favorite record.

Something I always
wanted to do before I die.

♪ ♪

Then you will.

Well, the thing is, son,

I don't know how to drive.

What's that, now?

I never got my license. Never needed to.

Lived in cities most of my life,

and never could really
afford a car when I didn't.

It's embarrassing to
have to admit, at my age,

I don't know how to drive.

♪ ♪

You want me to show you how?

I was hoping you would.

Yes, that would mean a lot to me.

All right, then.

(chuckles): All right.

You know anything at all?

- Just the basics.
- Okay.

You good in that
mirror over on the left?

Mm-hmm.

- Rearview mirror?
- Rearview's good.

- Mirror on the right?
- Mirror's good.

- INSTRUCTOR: Welcome. Join us.
- (rhythmic drumming)

Here we go, guys. Find the rhythm.

There it is.

Find that rhythm, guys.

What's causing you to move? Huh?

Why are you here?

Is it guilt?

Is it rage?

Is it sadness? Is it fear?

Maybe it's loneliness.

Whatever it is,

I want it to flow through your hands

and I want you to let it out.

All right? Let it all out.

Pound it!

Here we go!

Let it out!

One more time! Let's go!

Here we go!

REBECCA: Randall!

Pound it!

- Yeah.
- Strike a pose!

Strike a pose.

Awesome. Hey, Kate.

Strike a pose.

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Oh ♪

- Here we go!
- (screams)

(continues screaming)

You all right?

(drumming continues)

KEVIN: Alright.

Thank you.

TOBY: Go with God.

(exhales)

(knocking on door)

Hi.

- Kevin.
- I...

Before you say anything,

there's three sentences I
need to say to you, okay?

- What?
- I was head-over-heels in love with you

the moment that I saw you.

I never should've let you get away.

And, uh...

It's like, you were
part of me, you know,

like you were my arm, and
when I lost you, it's like,

I... lost my arm.

Dot, dot, dot.

It's like I've been walking around

without an arm for over a decade,

you know, and, uh...

comma,

I really want my arm back.

You know, 'cause I never
stopped thinking about it,

comma, not... ever.

Parentheses, you look amazing.

By the way.

End parentheses.

Period.

You gonna say anything, at all?

- Kevin.
- Yeah.

My ex-husband who I
haven't seen in 12 years

just shows up at my
doorstep unannounced.

You know, I'm not exactly
sure what you want me to say.

Okay. Um...

Say, um...

S... Say I can come in.

I can't say that.

Okay.

Can you say you'll think about...

meeting up with me?

Maybe we can have a conversation,

just... I want to talk to you.

Okay.

(scoffs) You always have to
go big, don't you, Pearson?

For you, Sophie... always.

(TV playing indistinctly)

Kev.

Hey. Come here.

So...

Sophie is Kate's best friend

and she's spending the
whole party with you.

So don't you think that maybe...
you should suggest to her

that she should go play with
your sister for a little while?

I can't, Dad.

I love her.

JACK: Wow.

So this whole party was for Sophie.

- I guess.
- (chuckles)

(laughs)

He loves her.

Oh, boy.

(on TV): As you wish.

(horse whinnies)

You're still here.

I know what you were doing before,

with the whole grabbing my
phone and being a dick thing.

You were being hard on
me so I would push myself.

And I think I do I need
to deal with the stuff

that I've been avoiding.

You know, see what's behind the weight.

So...

thanks.

For being a dick.

I needed it.

Like I said,

your voice was annoying my horses.

That's why I grabbed it.

And I wasn't being a dick.

I am a dick.

Oh.

That said...

... I'm glad you're staying.

You see, 'cause I happen to think

that you are as sexy as hell.

And I'm in cabin 13.

When you're ready.

No, thanks.

No, you don't see...

See, you don't see it yet.

But this?

This is happening.

Oh, but it's not.

Oh, but it is.

N-no, it's not.

- Oh...
- (sighs)

I can't move.

I have to wash my
face but I cannot move.

Will you wash my face for me?

Oh, I can't. I'm dead.

Three parties killed me.

Hey, Bec?

Yeah?

The talks don't work anymore.

I couldn't make Kate feel better.

And that's like...

my thing.

You know?

I tried, but it just... it didn't stick.

(chuckles)

We can't have another kid right now.

No.

I think the three of them are
only gonna get more difficult.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

(exhales)

I miss when Kevin used to
call hiccups "hee-bots."

- (laughs)
- Remember that?

- Yeah. Yeah.
- Hmm.

I miss when you used to
look in the rearview mirror

and they'd all be asleep
in their car seats,

just mouths wide open. Ah.

I miss when all of their
outfits used to match.

Yeah.

(kisses)

(grunts, sighs)

Hey, maybe we could at least...

No. We're not getting a dog.

No? Okay.

(kids clamoring)

KEVIN: Eat this, Randall!

(grunting, growling)

(sighing): Oh. Thank God.

(chuckles)

(whispers): Surprise attack.

Surprise attack!

(shouting, screaming)

- Daddy!
- (laughs)

- No, no, no!
- Oh, I got you!

I got a shield, I
got a human shield!

- Help me!
- I have a human shield!

Oh, no, no! Whoa!

It's all you, Will Hill.

Oh, I think I'm getting
the hang of this, Randall.

You got this.

Yeah. You've been driving
for a good... 15 minutes, now.

(Randall laughs)

Ah, this is a dream
come true, right here.

Thank you so much, Randall.

- It's my pleasure.
- Wow.

Watch me do this.

Let's see.

RANDALL: Oh, I could
take a nap, now!

WILLIAM: Hey! Man...

(laughter)

WILLIAM: Did I scare you
a little bit there, son?

(Randall laughs)

WILLIAM: Man, chill out!

♪ Oh, oh ♪

JACK: Whoa!

(Rebecca shrieks)

JACK: Go, go, go, go, go, go!

JACK: Oh, you're in trouble now!

♪ Oh ♪

KEVIN: Do you happen to know

if you have six fingers

on your right hand?

(laughter)

Do you have six fingers
on your right hand?

(grunts)

(laughter)

One, two, three.

♪ ♪

Waiting!

Okay. No peeking.

JACK: Oh!

KIDS: Happy birthday, Daddy!

♪ ♪