The X-Files (1993–…): Season 3, Episode 22 - Quagmire - full transcript

Mulder suspects that a beast similar to the Loch Ness Monster is responsible for the deaths of several people who reside near a large lake. Frustrated Scully insightfully confronts Mulder about the futility of their work on X-Files.

When I began
my field research here,

these frogs were thriving.

Since then,
the adult population's dropped

to fewer than 200.

If you don't take
protective measures,

in a few years,

Rana sphenocephala
will be extinct here.

Frog populations are declining

all over the globe,
Dr. Farraday.

No one knows why.

We can't possibly place them all
on the endangered species list.



You'd find a way
if it were cute,

furry little mammals
we were talking about.

Regardless, your study
remains inconclusive.

Speculative at best.

You've provided no concrete
evidence that frog depopulation

is the exclusive result
of human encroachment.

A frog holocaust

is currently being
executed, Dr. Bailey,

and man is the executioner.

You're a biologist, Farraday.

You've never heard
of survival of the fittest?

Well, don't forget that rule
also applies to mankind.

You can't turn your back
on nature,

or nature will turn
her back on you!



Ah, damn it.

Freakin' beeper.

No! No!

No!

Nature's calling.

I think we should
pull over soon.

Did you really have
to bring that thing?

You wake me up
on a Saturday morning,

tell me to be ready
in five minutes.

My mother is out of town, all
of the dog-sitters are booked,

and you know how
I feel about kennels.

So unless you want to lose your
security deposit on the car,

- I suggest you pull over.
- All right, well, I think

I'm lost anyway; I got to
stop and ask for directions.

I know I'm lost
as to why you're so interested

in this missing persons case.

Dr. Bailey works for
the U.S. Forestry Service.

That makes his disappearance
a federal case.

It's not jurisdiction
that I'm questioning, Mulder.

Dr. Bailey's not
the first person

to go missing from
Heuvelmans Lake recently.

Two weeks ago, a Boy Scout troop
was out here fossil hunting.

Their troop leader wandered
off to relieve himself,

and he hasn't been seen
or heard from since.

So you think that there's
a serial killer at large?

The operative word
being "large."

What are you leaving out?

What makes you think
I'm leaving anything out?

Multiple missing persons' cases

are not that uncommon, Mulder.

Why this particular one
warrants us

flying halfway
across the country

and driving for two hours
is a total mystery.

Oh, tell me you're not serious.

According to
the sheriff's report,

you were the last person to see
Dr. Bailey alive.

That's what they tell me.

I understand you argued over
an endangered species petition.

Bailey was the worst
kind of hypocrite.

Closest he ever came
to communing with nature

was subscribing to
National Geographic.

You sound bitter, Dr. Farraday.

Of course I'm bitter.

The man wrote off three years

of carefully collected data
in a two-hour inspection,

which doesn't mean
I plotted his demise.

Well, that is what you were
suggesting, isn't it?

Well, aside from
having a motive,

you don't seem
too upset by any of this.

You expect me to cry for one man

when entire species are perched
on the brink of extinction?

Dr. Farraday, you know the
wildlife in and around this lake

just about as well as
anybody, don't you?

I'd say that's accurate.

Are you aware of any
indigenous species

that's capable of
attacking a human being?

Yes.

Another human being.

Aside from that,

is there a creature
that comes to mind...

Has anyone ever
told you two you have

a great problem
coming to the point?

Okay, then.

In your work, have you come
across any evidence

that lends support
to the existence

of this creature
they call Big Blue?

See, this is
what always happens.

This is how it starts.

What?

The deflection, sleight of hand.

See, whenever an issue
requires any real thought,

any serious mental effort,
people turn to UFOs

and sea serpents and Sasquatch.

Afternoon talk shows
and tabloid TV...

they've reduced
our attention span

to the length of a sound bite

so that soon
our ability to think

will be as extinct as
the Rana sphenocephala frog.

I'll take that rambling
diatribe to mean

that you don't believe in the
existence of such a creature.

I'm not even going to grace
that statement with a reply.

A prehistoric animal living in a
lake is not without precedent.

Last August, they
pulled a bull shark

from Lake Onota
in Massachusetts.

An anomaly...
which proves nothing.

It only serves as fodder
for pseudo-scientists

with nothing better to do
than chase fairy tales.

Excuse me.

Lake creatures have
been reported for centuries

in dozens of countries,

from the monsters
in Loch Ness and Shiel

to the Ogopogo in Lake Okanagan.

And Lake Champlain;
Lagerflot, Iceland.

Sounds like you know a little
something about the subject.

I did as a kid,

but then I grew up
and became a scientist.

Well, some very grown-up
crypto-zoologists

believe that it could be
an evolutionary throwback,

possibly prehistoric.

An aquatic dinosaur?

A plesiosaur actually.

Though, admittedly, there's not

a lot of hard evidence
to back that up.

You know why?

Because those creatures
don't exist, Mulder.

They're folktales
born out of some

collective fear of the unknown.

How many folktales
do you know that could eat

a Boy Scout leader
and a biologist?

Check this out, Scully.

Looks like an insect casing

or a carapace...
something from a beetle.

How can I help you folks?

We're looking for
the lake view cabins...

Flicker Road.

Oh, you passed the turnoff
few miles back.

It's, uh, pretty tough to find.

A map might help.

Oh, they're $2.50 each,
plus Uncle Sam.

Fine.

If you don't mind my saying,

you folks don't look like
you're here for the trout.

No, we're with the FBI.

We're investigating a pair
of missing persons' reports.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, that's big news
around here.

Everybody's been
talking about it.

What are they saying?

Oh, same thing they've been
saying for years.

Now, I'm not one
for spreading rumors.

The truth is, I've heard
the story since I was kid.

About Big Blue?

What kind of stories?

Well, I was ten years old,
fishing with my daddy,

and I heard a big commotion
clear across the lake.

A wailing sound,

likes of which
I had never heard before.

Haven't heard since.

My daddy told me later

it was a cow who'd escaped
from the Rockdale ranch

and was drinking by the lake

when old Blue came up

and snatched her
right off the bank.

That's quite a story.

That's just one.

Those stories must sell
a lot of T-shirts.

Well, man's got to survive.

What about you?
You believe those stories?

I believe every man's
got to look at the evidence,

decide for himself.

But if you want to ask
a real expert,

you should probably talk
to Ansel here.

He's out there
practically every day.

It was his daddy's cow
that got eaten.

Can you get these developed
by tomorrow, Ted?

Give me another five rolls,
put them on my tab.

These folks are with
the FBI, Ansel.

They're looking into
that unsolved mystery

of how those people disappeared.

Unsolved mystery?

Since when is it a mystery?

So you think
Big Blue is responsible

for what's been happening?

Don't you?

Have you ever actually seen it?

Not directly, no...

but I aim to.

One day, I'll be
in the right place

at the right time,
and I will snap

a shot of that monster.

Son of a gun.

Now, if you hit Striker's Cove,
you've gone too far.

Call the sheriff!

We got a floater.

It's Scott Woosley.

The Boy Scout troop leader.

Well, his fly's undone.

Are you insinuating something?

No, most drowning victims
are found with

high levels of alcohol
in their blood

and their flies unzipped.

While urinating over
the sides of boats,

docks or whatever,

they lose their balance,
fall in and drown.

Still doesn't explain why

half of him is still missing.

Looks to me like

something took a big bite.

- Maybe not so big.
- What do you mean?

Well, fish eat
decomposing matter.

Any body that's been
suspended in this environment

for a period of time is
going to become a food source.

We eat fish and fish eat us.

Are fish also known for

eating half
and saving half for later?

Damn it.

Oh, God, no!

No! No! No!

Help me! Help me!

God, help me!

Like I said,
I recognized his hat.

How could you not?

So there's
Ted Bertram's four-by

parked about a mile up that way.

Here's his hat,
and here's these tracks.

Know what I'm saying?

I mean, look at the size
of these tracks.

Mulder, this is
Sheriff Lance Hindt.

Wait, watch out...
watch out for the tracks.

Careful.

Watch out where you're walking.

Queequeg.

How you doing?

Ansel, why don't you
go check the woods.

Today's the day, Sheriff.

I'm going to get him.

Any sign of Ted Bertram?

No, and I'm not jumping
to any conclusions either.

Speaking of which,
what's this I hear

about you wanting
to close the lake?

Just until we figure out
what's going on here.

Well, sir, I think I can
tell you what's going on.

Same thing goes on every year...

fisherman get drunk, they drown,

folks get run over
by a powerboat.

On a lake this size, you're
going to have eight, nine deaths

in a season...
that's just a statistical fact.

Yeah, but you got two or three
in as many weeks.

I'd say you're a little outside
of your bell curve, Sheriff.

Agent... Mulder? Mulder?

This lake has 48 miles
of shoreline.

I got four deputies, full-time.

Now, to close down
a lake this size,

hell, you'd have to call out
the National Guard,

and for something like that
to happen, I mean...

You'd need irrefutable proof.

What about these tracks?

Well, Mulder, a creature
as large as the one

that you're looking for
would have left

considerably deeper impressions.

Queequeg!

Queequeg, come back here!

Queequeg!

Mulder...

Sheriff, come take
a look at this.

What you got?

There's your
lake monster, Mulder.

That's what it looks like.

It's all a hoax.

Well, I'll be damned.
Sure seems like it.

Yeah, but what happened
to the hoaxster?

I saw it on the...
Discovery Channel.

They got, like, this whole,
you know, cult

built up around
these tree toads.

The skin's got these
hallucinogenic properties.

Lets you see all these visions.

It's really spiritual.

Yeah?

I don't know.

It's supposed to take
the doors of perception

and swing them

so wide open, you know?

Plus, you get to see

all these really cool streaks
and trails and crap.

Well?

Are you sure that's even a toad?

Dude, what's wrong with you?

You made me drop my toad.

Chill out, man.

I'll get you another one.

How long till we get down
to Lauderdale?

Dude!

Oh... no!

Dude?

Oh!

Did you see anything
move when you were walking?

I don't know.

Well, how about you?
Did you see anything?

Neither one of you
remember anything?

If this is a hoax,
it's quite an elaborate one.

I got zip out of Free Bird
and Moon Unit over there.

No telling
what they've been smoking.

What's it looking like?

Well, it's hard to tell
without an autopsy,

but it looks like propeller
damage from a motorboat.

This is a designated
boating area.

Yeah, but 20 feet from shore
and twice in one day?

Mulder, look at it out there.
It's like rush hour.

I think you're ignoring
the obvious.

What about Ted Bertram?

For all we know,
he stepped in something

and bled into those
funny shoes of his.

He's probably
so embarrassed right now

that he doesn't even
want to show his face.

Oh, is that the psychological
approach to crime solving?

He's too embarrassed?

Regardless of what I believe,

there's-there's no hard evidence
that it's what you believe.

Okay, Big Blue, you're mine.

Today's the day.

Oh, crap!

Geez!

This roll's been exposed.

Can you get that developed?

- Yes, sir.
- Thanks.

That's three
in one day, Sheriff.

All this driving from
crime scene to crime scene

is giving me highway hypnosis.

Close down the lake.

I done told you once,
it ain't that simple.

I just ain't got the manpower.

Furthermore...
I'm not at all

convinced we're dealing
with an aquatic menace.

He's right, Mulder.

Those two sets of remains we've
found so far are inconclusive.

We really need
to find this body.

My thoughts exactly, ma'am.

If you'll just give us
a couple more minutes...

Sheriff!

Sheriff!

You all right, Sheriff?

Are you okay, Sheriff?

Something...

something brushed up against me
out there, something big.

- Close the lake.
- Right, Sheriff.

Close it down.

I want you to call
the state police

and the Wildlife Fish and Game!

You tell them we got
an emergency situation!

Looks like Ansel
took these during the attack.

I-I agree with you.

I just wish that he gave us
something more. I...

Oh... look at this.

Could this be a tooth?

Yeah. It could be
a lot of things, Mulder. I...

15 years of fruitless hunting,

and the only thing
the guy comes up with

is a blurry picture
of the monster's tooth?

Well, there are thousands
of pictures here, Scully.

There's got to be
some visual evidence somewhere.

Here, go through these.

Mulder, these are just a bunch

of poorly composed
tourist shots. There's...

That could be something.

A tooth?

I'm taking Queequeg for a walk.

Want me to come with you?

I'll be fine.

Good night, Mulder.

All right, I'll see you
in the morning.

Come on, Queequeg.

Queequeg, we're not going to go
into the woods.

Come on, do your business.

I thought you had to go.

Queequeg...

What is it?

Queequeg!

Where are you going?

Queequeg!

Queequeg, come back here!

Queequeg!

Queequeg!

Queequeg!

Quee... Quee...

Queequ...

I'm sorry about Queequeg.

You know, I think
I've learned something

from these photos.

- Mulder...
- They're not pictures

of the lake monster,
they're pictures of the lake...

locations where
the creature's been sighted

over the past several years.

Look at this.

Five years ago,
all the sightings occurred

in the center of the lake,
but progressively

the sightings have moved closer
and closer to shore,

until this year; they're
practically on the shore.

Could you repeat
the last part again?

I kind of faded out.

Which... which part?

After you said,
"I'm sorry."

Can you drive a boat?

It's too bad
we're not out here fishing.

We are fishing.

You really expect
to find this thing,

don't you, Mulder?

You want to head
right... here.

I'll take that as a "yes."

I know the difference
between expectation and hope.

Seek and ye shall find, Scully.

You know,
on the old mariner's maps,

the cartographers would
designate uncharted territories

by writing "here be monsters."

I got a map of New York City
just like that.

What was that?

It ain't no bass.

What is that?

What is that, Mulder?

Here be monsters, Scully.

It looks like
it's coming straight at us.

Yup, that's what it looks like.

Mayday! Mayday!

Does anybody read me?!

This is a distress call
from the Patricia Rae!

G-A-seven-eight-
three-eight-two-seven!

Our boat is taking on...

Mayday! Mayday!

Scully, let's get out of here.

There goes our $500 deposit.

I say we swim to shore.

Swim?

Yeah, the shore can't
be too far from here.

In which direction?

Yeah, you know,
living in the city,

you forget that night is
actually so, uh... dark.

Living in the city,
you forget a lot of things.

You know, there, you're always
thinking about being mugged

or hit by a car.

It's not until you get back
to nature until you realize

that everything
is out to get you.

That's why my father always
taught me to respect nature,

'cause it has
no respect for you.

That was him, Scully.

That was Big Blue.

So what if it was?

Mulder, what are we doing here?

What do you mean,
"What are we doing here?"

What are you hoping
to accomplish?

Scully, so many of the
things that we investigate

are so intangible,
but this creature...

it exists within the
specific earthly confines

of this lake, and
I want to find it.

What for?

You're a scientist.

Why do you ask that question?

I mean, it would be
a miraculous discovery.

It could revolutionize

evolutionary biological
thinking.

Is that really the reason why?

You know when you showed me

those-those pictures
that the photographer took?

You want to know
what I really saw in them?

A tooth?

No. You.

That man is your future.

Listening only to himself.

Hoping to catch a glimpse
of the truth

for who knows what reason.

I did read in his journals
that he was hoping

to live off the copyright fees
from a genuine Big Blue photo.

Well, as dumb as it sounds,

at least
it's a legitimate reason.

You don't think
my reasons are legitimate?

Mulder, sometimes
I just can't figure them out.

Mulder!

I'm still tempted to fire.

Hey, Scully, do you think

you could ever
cannibalize someone?

I mean, if you really had to.

Well, as much as the very
idea is abhorrent to me,

I suppose under
certain conditions,

a living entity is
practically conditioned

to perform whatever
extreme measures

are necessary to
insure its survival.

I suppose I'm no different.

You've lost some weight
recently, haven't you?

Yeah, actually, I have.

Thanks for...

But it is amazing
what some animals will do

to guarantee the continuation
of the species, isn't it?

I mean, a creature,
one of this size,

must have adapted its behavior
over the years

to minimize its chances

of being seen
by its only predator, us.

Its coming closer
to shore for its prey

must be an act
of desperation on its part.

Poor Queequeg.

Why did you name the dog
Queequeg?

It was the name
of the harpoonist in Moby Dick.

My father used to read
to me from Moby Dick

when I was a little girl.

I called him Ahab,

and he called me Starbuck.

So I named my dog Queequeg.

It's funny, I just
realized something.

It's a bizarre name
for a dog, huh?

No.

How much you're like Ahab.

You're so consumed

by your personal
vengeance against life,

whether it be
its inherent cruelties

or its mysteries,

that everything takes on
a warped significance

to fit
your megalomaniacal cosmology.

Scully, are you coming on to me?

It's just... the truth
or a white whale...

what difference does it make?

Both... both obsessions
are impossible to capture,

and trying to do so
will only leave you dead,

along with everyone else
you bring with you.

You know, Mulder, you are Ahab.

You know, it's interesting
you should say that,

because I've always wanted
a peg leg.

It's a boyhood thing
I never grew out of.

No, I'm not being flippant.

I mean, I've given this
a lot of thought.

If you have a peg leg
or hooks for hands,

you know, maybe it's enough
to simply carry on living,

you know, bravely facing life
with your disability.

It's heroic just to survive.

But without these things,

you're actually expected
to make something of your life...

achieve something,
earn a raise, wear a necktie.

S-So, if anything, I'm actually
the antithesis of Ahab,

because if I did have a peg leg,

I'd quite possibly be more happy
and more content

and not feel the need

to chase after these creatures
of the unknown.

And that's not flippant?

N... No.

Flippant is my favorite line
from Moby Dick.

"Hell is an idea first born

on an undigested
apple dumpling."

- What was that?
- I don't know,

but it ain't no duck.

I thought I heard voices.

What are you two doing out here?

Dr. Farraday?

Hope I'm not
interrupting anything.

No, no.

We, uh, we had a little trouble
with our boat.

Actually, it sank.

How'd that happen?

It was my fault.

We would have been
out here all night

if you hadn't answered
our distress call.

Oh, I didn't.

I was walking by;
I heard you talking.

"Walking by"?

Yeah. Yeah, the shore is just
a stone's throw from here.

Come on.

I'll take you back.

Uh, it was just out of fuel.

The sheriff will be along
in a couple minutes.

I'd drive you myself,
but I got work to do.

What exactly is it that you're
doing out here, Dr. Farraday?

It's well after midnight.

Night is Rana sphenocephala's
most active period,

and this is its primary
breeding ground.

Or at least it used to be.

Thousands of eggs used
to cling to these reeds.

Beautiful jelly clusters.

Now, one must turn over
many a leaf

in order to find
potential offspring.

What's in the sack?

Adult frogs.

I've been breeding them
in captivity

and releasing them
into the wild.

This is Striker's Cove?

Mm-hmm.

The frogs.

I beg your pardon?

The unexplained
depletion of frogs

originates from this cove.

It's the food chain.

What about it?

The food chain.

If you alter
one life-form

in an ecosystem, the rest
is necessarily affected

either by an increase
or decrease.

So if an aquatic dinosaur's diet
consisted primarily of frogs,

then if those frogs
suddenly became scarce,

it would have to turn
to an alternative food source.

Humans.

Agent Mulder,

you are taking
my legitimate research

and basic biological principle

and stretching them both way
out of proportion in an effort

to give some kind of validity
to an entirely ludicrous theory.

There is no
prehistoric lake monster.

This creature lives here

in this cove; that explains the
disappearance of these frogs,

for which you have
no explanation, Doctor,

ludicrous or not, as well
as the recent human attacks.

That's crazy.

If something was living
in these waters,

you don't think
I would have seen it?

I've been conducting research
here for three years.

I'm talking about

a prehistoric animal
that's gone unnoticed

for virtually thousands
of years.

If it knows how to do anything,
it knows how to hide.

They say the Loch Ness monster
doesn't even live in the water,

that it lives
in the surrounding cliffs.

Maybe Big Blue has
an inland habitat

somewhere in the rocks
or in this dense forest here.

I have no time
for these absurdities.

If you'll excuse me,

I have some amphibians
to release.

Well, Captain, what now?

Agent Scully!

Agent Mulder!

There's been another death,

and this time,
it does appear to be

some kind of animal attack.

Bit a fisherman's arm clean off.

Where'd this happen?

Other side of the lake,
couple of hours ago.

My department has the
cooperation of the state police,

plus the full use of
all the Wildlife Fish and Game

department vessels.

I got a full-scale water search

already underway.

No, no, we need those men here

searching this cove
and these woods.

But I got 30 boats
on the water already.

Now, if we're going
to kill this thing...

We've got to sweep this cove.

It's here at Striker's Cove.

The boats are searching
the area of the latest attack,

and I'm not going to move them.

Now, if you want
to waste your time

conducting a search
of these woods,

you go right ahead.

I got me a lake
monster to catch.

Sheriff...

Agent Mulder and I
would appreciate it

if you could spare us
two or three of your men

to assist us here.

All right,
I'll send them on back.

Thanks.

What was that?

Dr. Farraday.

What happened?

My leg.
Something grabbed my leg.

Did you see it?

No.

It came from behind me.

Before I knew it, it had me.

It was shaking me back
and forth, then it just let go.

Give me your belt.

I didn't want to believe you.

I think you nicked an artery.

We got to get him to a hospital.

He's losing blood.

Where did it go?

I didn't see it.
I didn't see it.

I think I heard...

he went through
those reeds there.

Mulder, help is coming.

You take care of him, Scully.

Mulder!

Alligator.

All right, Darren, go ahead.

How's Dr. Farraday?

He'll be fine.

How are you?

I'm fine.

Well, you slew
the big white whale, Ahab.

Yeah, but I still don't have
that peg leg.

How can you be disappointed?

That alligator would have

gone through
the local population

- if you hadn't killed it.
- I know.

I guess I just wanted
Big Blue to be real.

I guess I see hope
in such a possibility.

Well, there's still hope.

That's why these myths
and stories have endured.

People want to believe.

I made this!