The Wrong Mans (2013–2014): Season 1, Episode 2 - Bad Mans - full transcript
Secret Service agent Jack Walker shoots a man with a stun gun and takes him prisoner. Phil and Sam are also taken prisoner by the real Stevens, who claims that he sent money to his wife's abductor, Mr Lau, a casino owner to whom he owed gambling debts, but it somehow never arrived. He sends the lads to meet Lau with an empty case and they try to bluff him into thinking they have the money to release Scarlett, Stevens' wife. However the deceit is rumbled and they flee, taking with them Lau's nephew Jason, whom they tie up behind the council boardroom. Unfortunately Mr Lau tracks them down and turns up at the office.
My name's Sam Pinkett.
I was there when you
crashed your car this morning.
After you'd been taken to the hospital,
your phone started ringing.
If you are not here by five o'clock,
we will kill your wife.
I know everything.
What is going on? Don't lie to me.
- A woman's been kidnapped.
- Oh, get out!
This is our moment. We've been chosen.
I'm a town planning and noise guidance
advisor for Berkshire County Council.
If I don't have that research
pack on my desk today,
it's me that's going to look bad.
You're a 31-year-old
mail distribution assistant
who lives with his mum.
If there's any way
I can save your wife, I will.
That's not my phone.
We're gonna cross a lot of bridges, Sam.
Jump a lot of hurdles.
I don't know what you're talking about.
I'm talking about rolling deep!
So, are we gonna get the bus?
Or... Aargh!
Sam, Sam, Sam!
Sam!
Sam, is that you?
Yes, Phil.
Cough if you can hear me.
Of course I can...
- What was that?
- It's code.
Well, I don't know what it meant,
so if it's a code,
you'd have to explain it to me.
- OK, it's easy...
- Don't explain it to me!
If anyone is listening,
you're explaining it to them.
It defeats the...
Hello!
If anyone's listening,
I don't know who you think we are
but we're not him.
My name is Sam Pinkett
and I work for the council.
My name is Phillip Bourne,
and I don't work for the council,
I just work in the building.
I'm sub-contracted.
There's nobody there.
Where's my money?
Where's my money?
There's been a misunderstanding.
I gave my guy my money
and a phone.
Now, there is no guy.
There is no money.
And I traced the phone
and ended up with you.
Now, I don't care what happened to him,
but I'm gonna ask you this
one last time...
...where is my money?
- I don't know.
- Don't lie to me!
- I'm not lying.
- Where is it?!
Please.
- Where is my money?
- Believe me.
I will tear you apart! Where is it?
- Where is it?
- Please! I'm telling you the truth!
- Where is it?
- I'm being completely honest.
- Where's my money?
- This is just a huge mistake...
I've got it! I've got it.
I've got your money. I've got it.
Big time.
Where is it?
It's in a safety deposit
box in Edinburgh.
I really don't think this...
What's it doing there?
No-one would think to look for it there.
- If you're here, who took it there?
- A friend.
A friend?
Of my nan's. A friend of my nan's.
She was going up anyway,
for... Hogmanay.
And so she took it.
So you gave her a bag...
with £3 million cash,
to take to Edinburgh?
Yes.
Are you sure?
Yes.
That's funny,
cos I've only lost 800 grand.
- Aargh!
- Sam! Sam!
Where are you taking him?
Please don't hurt him!
Please! Please!
This compactor exerts
150 tons of pressure.
It can crush a car in 45 seconds.
So I don't think it's gonna have
- much trouble with you, sunshine.
- Please, this is nothing to do with us!
Where did you get this phone?
What did you do with my guy?
That money was to buy back my wife!
Now she's dead! You thief!
Now I'm gonna have a...
Your wife? You're Mr...
Hello, Jim.
No, no, I've just...
I've just... been for a run.
No.
Oh, well, no, no, me neither.
Well, she's at one of these spa, er, days.
Yeah.
No, no, no - there's no
need for you to do that.
Just as soon as she calls me,
I'll get her to...
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you...
...You take care.
She's alive.
Your wife, she isn't dead.
You're Mr Stevens, right?
You're Mr Stevens?
Yes.
They thought I was you.
I found the phone by the side of the road.
They've been talking to me,
thinking I was you.
So you just found this phone?
We thought it belonged to a guy
who crashed his car there.
That's why we were at the hospital.
They changed the meeting.
It's six o'clock. A different address.
I've got it written down in my pocket.
Take it out.
The other... pocket.
Why should I believe you?
It's the truth. It's like I said
to the guy in the hospital,
who I thought was you
before he turned out not to be you,
if there was any way
I could save your wife, I would.
Suppose I believe you...
...and that this meeting is for real.
I'm not gonna go there
without any money.
- No, I wouldn't do that.
- Makes sense.
I mean, only a total idiot would go there
without any money!
Yeah, we were actually saying
that at the hospital before you...
Which is why I'm sending you.
- What?
- You're joking, right?
Those winks mean you're joking, right?
That was a joke. That was a funny joke.
When you do a wink,
it means it's a joke, right.
I think we established quite clearly
that we just work for the council.
♪ Nibblin' on my sponge cake
♪ Watching the sun bake
♪ All of those tourists covered in oil... ♪
I think that's long enough.
I don't understand.
This was definitely the meeting place.
I swear. Please believe me.
We've been waiting here for an hour
and no-one's here.
You've got to understand
how this looks.
I track you leaving the home
of one of Russia's most wanted
with close to a million pounds...
and...
when I politely ask you to stop...
...you run, and keep running.
I mean, at best it's rude.
And then, when we do finally get
to have a little chat,
you tell me that you've been talking
to a man on a phone.
A phone which doesn't seem to exist.
So...
how about we stop with the fairy tales
and start with the truth?
OK?
Right.
You, take this.
Combination is on there.
You, get out.
What? Why?
Get out!
- Ah! Don't...
- Please don't hurt him.
Oh, my God.
Just do it. Do it quick.
Do it quick.
Just... wait, wait!
Wait... wait. Wait.
Sam, Sam. Oh, God.
Under my mattress...
Under my mattress,
there's some magazines and a DVD.
I need you to find them
and get rid of them.
I can't bear my mum to see them,
all right? Just burn them.
Don't even look at them yourself.
They're disgusting.
Get up.
What?
Get in the front.
You're driving the rest of the way.
It's nothing illegal.
It's just bums and stuff.
You'd better pray
that she's still alive.
Because if she's not, you're next.
We're gonna die.
Don't answer it.
- Yes.
- You're not Mr Stevens.
No. I did try to tell you before.
What's your name?
- Craig.
- And you're not alone.
No, I needed someone to help me
with the chair.
Give the phone to your friend.
He wants to talk to you.
- But why?
- I don't know.
Just take it.
Hello. This is Brad speaking.
In a moment, you will give
the phone back to your friend.
You will lie down and place
your hands on your head,
and you will not move,
because if you do, you will be shot.
OK.
- What are you doing?
- Shut up, shut up, shut up.
Sam!
Good luck.
Is that the money?
Mm-hm.
Good.
Your employer is a foolish man.
- Foolish, cowardly man.
- He's not actually my employer...
Six months I gave him.
Nothing but lies and false promises.
It's a shame.
It took all this to make him listen
and deliver what he owes.
Well?
Shall we proceed?
I need assurances.
I don't think you call the shots here.
This is a trade.
I'm not leaving without her.
That's the deal.
So if you're thinking of
pulling a fast one, then...
don't...
please.
Untie her.
This is what we're going to do.
She will come forward... alone.
We'll both have one hand on the case
and when she passes me,
you will let go.
Right.
Are you happy with that?
Yeah.
But first, we must count the money.
Are you... are you sure you don't want
to do that later?
- Just... just cos it will take ages.
- Open the case.
And I haven't got one of
those machines that... thrrrrrrr.
OK.
Looks like they were right.
Three...
- One.
- One.
I don't know if that's
an eight or a nine.
That's a nine.
Can you get a shot on Lau?
Hang on, you haven't paid me
to take anybody out.
If she dies, then I'm dead
and you'll get nothing.
- Oh, my God!
- What a surprise.
I don't bloody believe this.
He said it was full of money and... and...
it isn't.
I'm going to have to kill you now.
Go on.
Go on.
Run! Get in the car!
There's no shot.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
I've never driven manual!
- Go! What? Go!
- I can't do the gears!
What are you doing?
I've only just regained
the use of my legs, Phil.
Aaargh! Aargh!
Put your foot... put the clutch down.
- OK.
- Give it some gas.
- I've done it. I've got it. I've got it.
- That's it, that's it, that's it.
I've got it, I've got it.
- That's it, that's it, that's it.
- Arrgh! Argh!
Shit! Are you OK, Phil?
Phil, talk to me.
Talk to me, Phil.
I'm going to try and change gear.
Get off! Get the fuck off me!
- We're gonna have to kill him
- What?!
- We've got to chop him...
- We're not murderers!
Well, we can't let him go.
He's seen our faces.
If we let him go, he'll come back.
He tried to kill us!
We'll think of something.
OK, we're not...
- Oh, God. Do you want me to drive?
- Yes, please.
Right, so... ropes and cable ties, yeah?
Anything. Just be quick, yeah?
Right.
Philip?
Is that you boo-bear?
Hiya, Mum.
Can you do my hot-water bottle for me,
please? I don't want to come downstairs.
Yes, Mum.
What are you doing?
Please... please...
Just talk about this...
I have no quarrels with you!
- Thank you.
- All right.
And a glass of water, please, Philip.
Let's just be reasonable
and talk about this.
In other circumstances,
- we would very possibly get on.
- Shut up. No, no.
- You're the one who's trying...
- I'm not...
Please! Please!
Nice of you to join us.
Aaargh!
It's a very delicate issue and we're
consulting with numerous organisations.
But there has been a delay, Minister,
- you can't deny that.
- I'm not denying anything,
neither am I confirming...
Evening, Phil.
How are you, Len? What are you watching?
Well, I'm watching this
weird new game show,
where the host asks a question
and the contestant spends as long
as possible avoiding answering it.
You might have seen it,
it's called Newsnight.
Classic, Len.
What are you doing here?
You're a bit late, aren't you?
Yeah, I don't know how
you do these nights.
- Well, I hate it, don't I?
- Brussels!
What's that?
I'm just saying - Europe, cor!
- Oh, I couldn't agree with you more.
- Don't get me started.
Don't get me started, right.
19 delegates flew into London.
19 of them, right,
- and they come...
- Cheers, Len!
Yeah, see you later.
- God, this is exciting.
- I don't know about this.
I mean, how long before Len finds him?
Len's not gonna come up here.
I told you, no-one does.
I come up here sometimes twice a day
and I've never seen anyone.
Why do you come up here?
What are you doing?
Pulling down his pants.
I can see that. Why?
Humiliation. The first rule of
taking a hostage - humiliate them.
Make them feel disgusted.
This is Berkshire County Council,
not Abu Ghraib.
And we haven't taken a hostage.
We just happen to have one.
You need to need to start
thinking like a...
Pull up his fucking pants!
There's a pipe over there.
We'll tie him to that.
You should have let me go,
because you are in big trouble now.
You have no idea.
My uncle will kill you.
And then, as soon as I'm out of this,
I'm gonna tear you limb by limb.
I'm gonna smash your face off.
I'm gonna hurt you.
Oh, God, Phil, what are we doing?
What are we doing?
We're saving a woman's life.
This is a game-changer, Sam.
The game has changed.
- Stop calling it a game.
- We hold all the cards here.
Now you heard what he said - his uncle.
That's family, Sam.
There's no stronger bond on Earth.
We just have to tie him up,
wait for that phone to ring and tell him
that we call the shots now.
- Where are you going?
- Home.
What! We...
I don't sleep well here.
We've got to stay with him. Keep guard.
We'll sleep in shifts.
I'll take the first four hours
and then you wake me up, OK.
Sam. Sam.
- Is it my turn?
- No, it's morning.
You stayed awake all night?
Um, yeah, I did, yeah.
Mmmm-mmm-mmm.
Mmmm-mm-mm-mm.
I think he's trying to say something.
Yeah.
I need the toilet.
Sam!
Morning.
You're early.
I'd be impressed...
if you hadn't taken half the afternoon off
yesterday without telling me.
I'm sorry.
- Why did you ignore my calls?
- I wasn't ignoring them.
You know how important
this is to me.
I promise I'll do it this morning.
- Noel did it.
- Right.
Look, I think
we should just sit down and talk,
because there's obviously something...
Have you...?
Yeah. It's me,
that's what you can smell.
It's my fart.
That's disgusting.
I know.
I had a roast.
It was an onion gravy.
It's not going away.
I'm still doing it now.
I've been doing it the whole time
we've been stood here.
You're foul.
Look, I just came up to check on the room
before I bring everyone up.
- Everyone up?
- Yeah, for the meeting.
- I want to make sure the room's clean.
- This room?
Is clean. That's what...
that's what I came up here to do.
OK. Would you mind
putting some chairs out?
Yeah. No, no, I will.
I've just got some...
shit to deal with.
OK, thanks.
We all love this town.
I can see it in your faces.
Well, two years ago, I had a dream.
A dream of a bright future...
...of a regenerated Bracknell.
What I wasn't expecting, of course,
was the red tape.
Look at me, you piece of shit.
Look at me.
...Everybody apart from one, that is.
Because of her, we're just a few days away
from realising that dream.
So I give you
your very own... Elizabeth Green.
Elizabeth Green, yes.
"Yes, yes, yes, Mr Reid, do me.
"Do me now."
I just want to run
through how this will go...
I don't want to hear
you make a sound
cos I will end you. Wah!
...Black tie, everyone.
Is white tie OK?
- Yes, Alan, yes.
- Cool.
- Then on Friday...
- I bet you're shitting yourself, yeah?
Yeah?
I will take your nose. It's gone.
Where is it? Whoa.
Where's your nose gone?
There it is. Put it back.
That's right, motherfucker!
What I've done is written up what I think
will be their most pressing concerns...
See what happens if you make a sound.
Go on, I dare you.
So, please do have a look.
What's that? What?
Huh, huh? Yeah, that's right.
Aaargh!
Aargh!
- Aaargh!
- Aaah-ha!
Sam?
Aaa-have-it!
I have it.
I have it.
What do you... what do you have?
The slogan?
Let's hear it.
Now?
Yes, because you've interrupted
the meeting.
OK.
Bracknell...
Is that it?
No.
- Unless you liked...?
- Not particularly.
No. Well, there's more, so, OK.
Bracknell...
...small town...
...big...
...future.
That's really good.
Is it?
Can we get that on a
banner for tomorrow?
Yeah, can't see why not.
"Ah have it!"
Aren't you coming?
I'll be down in a minute.
Sam, this gentleman's
here to see you.
You left this at our last meeting...
Sam.
Run!
My name is Agent Jack Walker
and I work for the British Secret Service.
Get in.
You have no idea what
you're involved with here -
how out of your depth you are.
I was there when you
crashed your car this morning.
After you'd been taken to the hospital,
your phone started ringing.
If you are not here by five o'clock,
we will kill your wife.
I know everything.
What is going on? Don't lie to me.
- A woman's been kidnapped.
- Oh, get out!
This is our moment. We've been chosen.
I'm a town planning and noise guidance
advisor for Berkshire County Council.
If I don't have that research
pack on my desk today,
it's me that's going to look bad.
You're a 31-year-old
mail distribution assistant
who lives with his mum.
If there's any way
I can save your wife, I will.
That's not my phone.
We're gonna cross a lot of bridges, Sam.
Jump a lot of hurdles.
I don't know what you're talking about.
I'm talking about rolling deep!
So, are we gonna get the bus?
Or... Aargh!
Sam, Sam, Sam!
Sam!
Sam, is that you?
Yes, Phil.
Cough if you can hear me.
Of course I can...
- What was that?
- It's code.
Well, I don't know what it meant,
so if it's a code,
you'd have to explain it to me.
- OK, it's easy...
- Don't explain it to me!
If anyone is listening,
you're explaining it to them.
It defeats the...
Hello!
If anyone's listening,
I don't know who you think we are
but we're not him.
My name is Sam Pinkett
and I work for the council.
My name is Phillip Bourne,
and I don't work for the council,
I just work in the building.
I'm sub-contracted.
There's nobody there.
Where's my money?
Where's my money?
There's been a misunderstanding.
I gave my guy my money
and a phone.
Now, there is no guy.
There is no money.
And I traced the phone
and ended up with you.
Now, I don't care what happened to him,
but I'm gonna ask you this
one last time...
...where is my money?
- I don't know.
- Don't lie to me!
- I'm not lying.
- Where is it?!
Please.
- Where is my money?
- Believe me.
I will tear you apart! Where is it?
- Where is it?
- Please! I'm telling you the truth!
- Where is it?
- I'm being completely honest.
- Where's my money?
- This is just a huge mistake...
I've got it! I've got it.
I've got your money. I've got it.
Big time.
Where is it?
It's in a safety deposit
box in Edinburgh.
I really don't think this...
What's it doing there?
No-one would think to look for it there.
- If you're here, who took it there?
- A friend.
A friend?
Of my nan's. A friend of my nan's.
She was going up anyway,
for... Hogmanay.
And so she took it.
So you gave her a bag...
with £3 million cash,
to take to Edinburgh?
Yes.
Are you sure?
Yes.
That's funny,
cos I've only lost 800 grand.
- Aargh!
- Sam! Sam!
Where are you taking him?
Please don't hurt him!
Please! Please!
This compactor exerts
150 tons of pressure.
It can crush a car in 45 seconds.
So I don't think it's gonna have
- much trouble with you, sunshine.
- Please, this is nothing to do with us!
Where did you get this phone?
What did you do with my guy?
That money was to buy back my wife!
Now she's dead! You thief!
Now I'm gonna have a...
Your wife? You're Mr...
Hello, Jim.
No, no, I've just...
I've just... been for a run.
No.
Oh, well, no, no, me neither.
Well, she's at one of these spa, er, days.
Yeah.
No, no, no - there's no
need for you to do that.
Just as soon as she calls me,
I'll get her to...
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you...
...You take care.
She's alive.
Your wife, she isn't dead.
You're Mr Stevens, right?
You're Mr Stevens?
Yes.
They thought I was you.
I found the phone by the side of the road.
They've been talking to me,
thinking I was you.
So you just found this phone?
We thought it belonged to a guy
who crashed his car there.
That's why we were at the hospital.
They changed the meeting.
It's six o'clock. A different address.
I've got it written down in my pocket.
Take it out.
The other... pocket.
Why should I believe you?
It's the truth. It's like I said
to the guy in the hospital,
who I thought was you
before he turned out not to be you,
if there was any way
I could save your wife, I would.
Suppose I believe you...
...and that this meeting is for real.
I'm not gonna go there
without any money.
- No, I wouldn't do that.
- Makes sense.
I mean, only a total idiot would go there
without any money!
Yeah, we were actually saying
that at the hospital before you...
Which is why I'm sending you.
- What?
- You're joking, right?
Those winks mean you're joking, right?
That was a joke. That was a funny joke.
When you do a wink,
it means it's a joke, right.
I think we established quite clearly
that we just work for the council.
♪ Nibblin' on my sponge cake
♪ Watching the sun bake
♪ All of those tourists covered in oil... ♪
I think that's long enough.
I don't understand.
This was definitely the meeting place.
I swear. Please believe me.
We've been waiting here for an hour
and no-one's here.
You've got to understand
how this looks.
I track you leaving the home
of one of Russia's most wanted
with close to a million pounds...
and...
when I politely ask you to stop...
...you run, and keep running.
I mean, at best it's rude.
And then, when we do finally get
to have a little chat,
you tell me that you've been talking
to a man on a phone.
A phone which doesn't seem to exist.
So...
how about we stop with the fairy tales
and start with the truth?
OK?
Right.
You, take this.
Combination is on there.
You, get out.
What? Why?
Get out!
- Ah! Don't...
- Please don't hurt him.
Oh, my God.
Just do it. Do it quick.
Do it quick.
Just... wait, wait!
Wait... wait. Wait.
Sam, Sam. Oh, God.
Under my mattress...
Under my mattress,
there's some magazines and a DVD.
I need you to find them
and get rid of them.
I can't bear my mum to see them,
all right? Just burn them.
Don't even look at them yourself.
They're disgusting.
Get up.
What?
Get in the front.
You're driving the rest of the way.
It's nothing illegal.
It's just bums and stuff.
You'd better pray
that she's still alive.
Because if she's not, you're next.
We're gonna die.
Don't answer it.
- Yes.
- You're not Mr Stevens.
No. I did try to tell you before.
What's your name?
- Craig.
- And you're not alone.
No, I needed someone to help me
with the chair.
Give the phone to your friend.
He wants to talk to you.
- But why?
- I don't know.
Just take it.
Hello. This is Brad speaking.
In a moment, you will give
the phone back to your friend.
You will lie down and place
your hands on your head,
and you will not move,
because if you do, you will be shot.
OK.
- What are you doing?
- Shut up, shut up, shut up.
Sam!
Good luck.
Is that the money?
Mm-hm.
Good.
Your employer is a foolish man.
- Foolish, cowardly man.
- He's not actually my employer...
Six months I gave him.
Nothing but lies and false promises.
It's a shame.
It took all this to make him listen
and deliver what he owes.
Well?
Shall we proceed?
I need assurances.
I don't think you call the shots here.
This is a trade.
I'm not leaving without her.
That's the deal.
So if you're thinking of
pulling a fast one, then...
don't...
please.
Untie her.
This is what we're going to do.
She will come forward... alone.
We'll both have one hand on the case
and when she passes me,
you will let go.
Right.
Are you happy with that?
Yeah.
But first, we must count the money.
Are you... are you sure you don't want
to do that later?
- Just... just cos it will take ages.
- Open the case.
And I haven't got one of
those machines that... thrrrrrrr.
OK.
Looks like they were right.
Three...
- One.
- One.
I don't know if that's
an eight or a nine.
That's a nine.
Can you get a shot on Lau?
Hang on, you haven't paid me
to take anybody out.
If she dies, then I'm dead
and you'll get nothing.
- Oh, my God!
- What a surprise.
I don't bloody believe this.
He said it was full of money and... and...
it isn't.
I'm going to have to kill you now.
Go on.
Go on.
Run! Get in the car!
There's no shot.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
I've never driven manual!
- Go! What? Go!
- I can't do the gears!
What are you doing?
I've only just regained
the use of my legs, Phil.
Aaargh! Aargh!
Put your foot... put the clutch down.
- OK.
- Give it some gas.
- I've done it. I've got it. I've got it.
- That's it, that's it, that's it.
I've got it, I've got it.
- That's it, that's it, that's it.
- Arrgh! Argh!
Shit! Are you OK, Phil?
Phil, talk to me.
Talk to me, Phil.
I'm going to try and change gear.
Get off! Get the fuck off me!
- We're gonna have to kill him
- What?!
- We've got to chop him...
- We're not murderers!
Well, we can't let him go.
He's seen our faces.
If we let him go, he'll come back.
He tried to kill us!
We'll think of something.
OK, we're not...
- Oh, God. Do you want me to drive?
- Yes, please.
Right, so... ropes and cable ties, yeah?
Anything. Just be quick, yeah?
Right.
Philip?
Is that you boo-bear?
Hiya, Mum.
Can you do my hot-water bottle for me,
please? I don't want to come downstairs.
Yes, Mum.
What are you doing?
Please... please...
Just talk about this...
I have no quarrels with you!
- Thank you.
- All right.
And a glass of water, please, Philip.
Let's just be reasonable
and talk about this.
In other circumstances,
- we would very possibly get on.
- Shut up. No, no.
- You're the one who's trying...
- I'm not...
Please! Please!
Nice of you to join us.
Aaargh!
It's a very delicate issue and we're
consulting with numerous organisations.
But there has been a delay, Minister,
- you can't deny that.
- I'm not denying anything,
neither am I confirming...
Evening, Phil.
How are you, Len? What are you watching?
Well, I'm watching this
weird new game show,
where the host asks a question
and the contestant spends as long
as possible avoiding answering it.
You might have seen it,
it's called Newsnight.
Classic, Len.
What are you doing here?
You're a bit late, aren't you?
Yeah, I don't know how
you do these nights.
- Well, I hate it, don't I?
- Brussels!
What's that?
I'm just saying - Europe, cor!
- Oh, I couldn't agree with you more.
- Don't get me started.
Don't get me started, right.
19 delegates flew into London.
19 of them, right,
- and they come...
- Cheers, Len!
Yeah, see you later.
- God, this is exciting.
- I don't know about this.
I mean, how long before Len finds him?
Len's not gonna come up here.
I told you, no-one does.
I come up here sometimes twice a day
and I've never seen anyone.
Why do you come up here?
What are you doing?
Pulling down his pants.
I can see that. Why?
Humiliation. The first rule of
taking a hostage - humiliate them.
Make them feel disgusted.
This is Berkshire County Council,
not Abu Ghraib.
And we haven't taken a hostage.
We just happen to have one.
You need to need to start
thinking like a...
Pull up his fucking pants!
There's a pipe over there.
We'll tie him to that.
You should have let me go,
because you are in big trouble now.
You have no idea.
My uncle will kill you.
And then, as soon as I'm out of this,
I'm gonna tear you limb by limb.
I'm gonna smash your face off.
I'm gonna hurt you.
Oh, God, Phil, what are we doing?
What are we doing?
We're saving a woman's life.
This is a game-changer, Sam.
The game has changed.
- Stop calling it a game.
- We hold all the cards here.
Now you heard what he said - his uncle.
That's family, Sam.
There's no stronger bond on Earth.
We just have to tie him up,
wait for that phone to ring and tell him
that we call the shots now.
- Where are you going?
- Home.
What! We...
I don't sleep well here.
We've got to stay with him. Keep guard.
We'll sleep in shifts.
I'll take the first four hours
and then you wake me up, OK.
Sam. Sam.
- Is it my turn?
- No, it's morning.
You stayed awake all night?
Um, yeah, I did, yeah.
Mmmm-mmm-mmm.
Mmmm-mm-mm-mm.
I think he's trying to say something.
Yeah.
I need the toilet.
Sam!
Morning.
You're early.
I'd be impressed...
if you hadn't taken half the afternoon off
yesterday without telling me.
I'm sorry.
- Why did you ignore my calls?
- I wasn't ignoring them.
You know how important
this is to me.
I promise I'll do it this morning.
- Noel did it.
- Right.
Look, I think
we should just sit down and talk,
because there's obviously something...
Have you...?
Yeah. It's me,
that's what you can smell.
It's my fart.
That's disgusting.
I know.
I had a roast.
It was an onion gravy.
It's not going away.
I'm still doing it now.
I've been doing it the whole time
we've been stood here.
You're foul.
Look, I just came up to check on the room
before I bring everyone up.
- Everyone up?
- Yeah, for the meeting.
- I want to make sure the room's clean.
- This room?
Is clean. That's what...
that's what I came up here to do.
OK. Would you mind
putting some chairs out?
Yeah. No, no, I will.
I've just got some...
shit to deal with.
OK, thanks.
We all love this town.
I can see it in your faces.
Well, two years ago, I had a dream.
A dream of a bright future...
...of a regenerated Bracknell.
What I wasn't expecting, of course,
was the red tape.
Look at me, you piece of shit.
Look at me.
...Everybody apart from one, that is.
Because of her, we're just a few days away
from realising that dream.
So I give you
your very own... Elizabeth Green.
Elizabeth Green, yes.
"Yes, yes, yes, Mr Reid, do me.
"Do me now."
I just want to run
through how this will go...
I don't want to hear
you make a sound
cos I will end you. Wah!
...Black tie, everyone.
Is white tie OK?
- Yes, Alan, yes.
- Cool.
- Then on Friday...
- I bet you're shitting yourself, yeah?
Yeah?
I will take your nose. It's gone.
Where is it? Whoa.
Where's your nose gone?
There it is. Put it back.
That's right, motherfucker!
What I've done is written up what I think
will be their most pressing concerns...
See what happens if you make a sound.
Go on, I dare you.
So, please do have a look.
What's that? What?
Huh, huh? Yeah, that's right.
Aaargh!
Aargh!
- Aaargh!
- Aaah-ha!
Sam?
Aaa-have-it!
I have it.
I have it.
What do you... what do you have?
The slogan?
Let's hear it.
Now?
Yes, because you've interrupted
the meeting.
OK.
Bracknell...
Is that it?
No.
- Unless you liked...?
- Not particularly.
No. Well, there's more, so, OK.
Bracknell...
...small town...
...big...
...future.
That's really good.
Is it?
Can we get that on a
banner for tomorrow?
Yeah, can't see why not.
"Ah have it!"
Aren't you coming?
I'll be down in a minute.
Sam, this gentleman's
here to see you.
You left this at our last meeting...
Sam.
Run!
My name is Agent Jack Walker
and I work for the British Secret Service.
Get in.
You have no idea what
you're involved with here -
how out of your depth you are.