The Wonder Years (1988–1993): Season 6, Episode 6 - White Lies - full transcript

-♪ BABY ♪

-♪ HIGH WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪

-♪ SAID I'M GONNA MAKE
IT WITH MY FRIENDS ♪

-♪ TRY WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪

-♪ OH, OH, I'M GONNA
KEEP ON TRYIN' ♪

-♪ GET BY WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪

-♪ I'M GONNA KEEP
ON TRYIN', NOW, BABE ♪

-♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪

-THEY SAY YOU CAN LIVE A
LIFETIME AND NEVER FIND LOVE.

SO I GUESS I WAS LUCKY, BECAUSE
TRUE LOVE CROSSED MY PATH

THE FIRST TIME I MET
THE GIRL NEXT DOOR...



WINNIE COOPER.

-KEVIN, WAIT.

-WHAT'S WRONG?

-ISN'T IT KIND OF HOT IN HERE?

-FEELS FINE TO ME.

-WINNIE AND I HAD BEEN TOGETHER
LONGER THAN ANY COUPLE I KNEW.

STILL, HISTORY ONLY GOES SO FAR.

-KEVIN?

-KIND OF LIKE WINNIE.

-WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

-IT'S JUST THAT IF
WE DON'T STOP NOW,

I'M AFRAID I'M NOT
GONNA BE ABLE TO LATER.

-WELL, THAT'S OKAY, ISN'T IT?

I MEAN, WE LOVE EACH OTHER.



-OF COURSE WE DO.

-AND WE'VE BEEN GOING TOGETHER
FOR, WHAT, SIX YEARS NOW?

-SIX AND A HALF.

-UNFORTUNATELY, THE
MATHEMATICS OF THE SITUATION

WERE OPEN TO INTERPRETATION.

TO ME, THEY LED FORWARD,
TO THAT GREAT UNKNOWN.

BUT TO WINNIE, THEY LED...
- DO YOU REMEMBER

WHEN WE USED TO RIDE OUR
BIKES UP HERE WHEN WE WERE KIDS?

- BACK.

-WE DID?

-YEAH. BEFORE
THEY BUILT IT ALL UP.

NOW THEY HAVE ALL
THE LIGHTS DOWN THERE,

-BUT IT USED TO BE ALL DARK.

-OH. YEAH.

-SEE, THE GREAT THING ABOUT US

WAS THAT WE HAD
THIS PAST TOGETHER.

-AND WE WENT DOWN THE
HILL. WE DIDN'T EVEN PEDAL.

WE WOULD JUST GLIDE.

-THE BAD THING ABOUT US WAS
THAT WE HAD THIS PAST TOGETHER.

-YOU KNOW, WINNIE, YOU
JUST CHANGED THE SUBJECT.

-FROM WHAT?

NEVER MIND.

-NOT THAT I MINDED BEING
PART OF WINNIE'S PAST.

IT'S JUST, WHEN IT
CAME TO WHO I WAS,

SHE SEEMED TO REGARD
ME AS A KNOWN QUANTITY...

-COME ON!

- RATHER THAN THE DANGEROUS
CHARACTER I'D BECOME.

11th GRADE...

WHERE YESTERDAY'S BOYS BATTLE
TO BECOME TOMORROW'S MEN.

IT'S A GAME PLAYED

FOR NOTHING LESS THAN
IMAGE, STATUS, AND MANHOOD...

NOT TO MENTION REPUTATION.

-I THINK I'M GONNA
GIVE CAROL MASUCHI

ANOTHER CHANCE THIS WEEKEND.

-OH, YOU MEAN SHE FINALLY
RETURNED YOUR CALLS?

-HEY! SHE CALLED ME.

- OOH.
- OOH.

-FACE IT.

EVERY DAY WAS A TRIAL
BY A JURY OF YOUR PEERS.

CHUCK, HOW'D YOUR DATE
GO WITH MARILYN LAST NIGHT?

-WELL, YOU KNOW.

IT WAS FUN.

-FUN?

-YEAH.

WELL...

WE DID STUFF.

-WELL, WHAT KIND OF STUFF?

YOU KNOW.

-STUFF.

-AND THOSE WHO LEFT
THEMSELVES EXPOSED

BORE THE FULL WRATH
OF THE ADOLESCENT MOB.

-HE DIDN'T!

-DID, TOO.

-NAH, YOU DIDN'T.

-IT COULD BE BRUTAL.

-HEY, COME ON. LAY OFF HIM.

-BUT NEVER SO BRUTAL AS
WHEN THE MOB TURNED ON YOU.

-YOU'RE RIGHT, ARNOLD.

MAYBE WE SHOULD BE TALKING
ABOUT YOU AND THE COOPSTER.

-WHAT?

-I MEAN, YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN
TOGETHER FOR A LONG TIME.

UH, YOU WANT TO GIVE
US SOME POINTERS?

-WELL...

-AT TIMES LIKE THIS,

THE ONLY THING TO DO WAS
HOPE FOR A LAST-MINUTE REPRIEVE.

-OH, WOW. LOOK AT
THE TIME. GOT TO RUN.

-UH, YEAH. SORRY,
GUYS. I GOT TO GO.

-YEAH, YEAH.

-STILL, IF PROVING YOURSELF IN
THE LOCKER ROOM WAS TOUGH...

-NORMA, WHICH ONE OF THESE
TIES SHOULD I TAKE WITH ME?

-OH, DON'T WORRY,
HONEY. I'LL PACK FOR YOU.

- THE HOMEFRONT
WAS NO PICNIC, EITHER.

-YOU KNOW, YOU'RE GONNA BE
ALL RIGHT, WON'T YOU, HONEY?

-MOM, PLEASE.

-WELL, WITH WAYNE
GONE TILL SATURDAY...

-MOM. YOU'RE ONLY
GONNA BE GONE ONE NIGHT.

-MY PARENTS WERE
TAKING A TRIP OUT OF TOWN,

WHICH, FOR ME, MEANT ONE THING.

-THERE ARE MEALS IN THE
FREEZER FOR YOU, HONEY.

AND THEY'RE ALL LABELED.

-MOM, PLEASE, GIVE
ME A LITTLE CREDIT.

I CAN TAKE CARE OF
MYSELF. I'M 16 YEARS OLD!

-CONGRATULATIONS.

-THANKS.

-JUST DON'T FORGET
TO TAKE OUT THE TRASH.

-ALL IN ALL, A RESOUNDING
VOTE OF CONFIDENCE.

-COME ON.

-I MEAN, WHO DID THESE
PEOPLE THINK I WAS?

SO I HAD AN EMPTY
HOUSE TO MYSELF.

WHAT WERE MY PARENTS
WORRIED ABOUT?

SUDDENLY I UNDERSTOOD
THEIR CONCERN.

-WINNIE, HI.

-OH, HI.

-UH, LISTEN...

I WAS WONDERING IF YOU WANTED
TO STUDY FOR THE SATs TONIGHT.

-TONIGHT?

-UH, YEAH.

YOU KNOW, I-I FIGURED

IT'S ABOUT TIME WE
STARTED GETTING READY...

FOR THE TEST.

-OKAY. WHERE DO
YOU WANT TO MEET?

-UH, WELL, I DON'T KNOW.

UH, ANYWHERE.

HOW ABOUT MY HOUSE?

-OKAY.

-BINGO.

AS LONG AS IT'S ALL
RIGHT WITH YOUR PARENTS.

-SURE.

DEFINITELY.

-JUST ONE LITTLE DETAIL.

-I MEAN, IT WOULD BE IF
THEY WEREN'T OUT OF TOWN.

BUT, YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT
GONNA BE LIKE THE NEIGHBORS

WON'T BE AROUND OR ANYTHING.

-BUT WHO WAS I KIDDING?

NO WAY SHE WAS GONNA
FALL FOR THIS PATHETIC RUSE.

-THAT'S FINE.

-REALLY?

-SURE.

WE'RE JUST GONNA STUDY, RIGHT?

-ABSOLUTELY.

-GREAT. THEN I'LL
SEE YOU TONIGHT.

-AND WITH THAT,
THE DATE WAS MADE.

THE TRAP WAS SET.

AND SO I PREPARED A
PROPER STUDY ENVIRONMENT.

A VERITABLE TEMPLE OF ACADEMIA.

AND WHEN I WAS FINISHED...

-COME ON IN. IT'S OPEN.

-HI.

-HI.

-HEH HEH.

IT WAS A CALL TO ROMANCE
NO MERE WOMAN COULD RESIST.

-IT'S KIND OF DARK IN HERE.

LET'S STUDY IN THE KITCHEN.

-THEN AGAIN...

-OKAY. WHAT'S THE
OPPOSITE OF PARSIMONIOUS?

"A"... FASTIDIOUS,
"B"... CONSIDERATE,

"C"... GENEROUS, OR
"D"... NONE OF THE ABOVE?

KEVIN?

-WANT SOME PRETZELS
OR SOMETHING?

-KEVIN, YOU KNOW YOU'RE
NEVER GONNA KNOW ALL THIS

WHEN IT'S TIME TO TAKE THE TEST.

-WINNIE, WHAT'S TO KNOW?

I MEAN, IT'S A STUPID TEST.

ALL YOU HAVE TO DO
IS SHOW UP ON TIME

AND BRING SOME SHARPENED
NUMBER-TWO PENCILS.

-KEVIN, IT'S A LITTLE
MORE DIFFICULT THAN THAT.

-RIGHT.

YOU HAVE TO FILL IN
THOSE LITTLE CIRCLES.

-OKAY, SO MUCH
FOR THE SMALL TALK.

IT WAS TIME TO GET... DANGEROUS.

-WINNIE...

LET'S DO SOMETHING ELSE.

-LIKE WHAT?

-WELL, LIKE...

GO IN THE LIVING ROOM.

-FOR STARTERS.

-KEVIN...

YOU REALLY DIDN'T INVITE ME
OVER HERE TO STUDY, DID YOU?

-NO.

IT'S JUST THAT WE HAVE THIS
WHOLE HOUSE TO OURSELVES,

AND I THOUGHT THAT...

-OH.

LOOK, WINNIE, WE'VE BEEN
TOGETHER A LONG TIME, AND...

-AND THE GUYS ARE
STARTING TO TALK.

KEVIN, IT ISN'T A SECRET.

GIRLS TALK, TOO, YOU KNOW.

ALL THE TIME.

-WELL, LIKE...

WHAT DO YOU SAY
WHEN YOU... TALK?

-WELL, I SAY THAT WE'VE
BEEN TOGETHER ALONG TIME

AND WE CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER

AND THAT THINGS
BETWEEN US ARE GREAT.

-OH.

-WHY? WHAT DO YOU SAY?

-I, UH...

SAY THE SAME.

-YEAH.

MORE OR LESS.

-I LIKE THAT.

I'D LIKE MORE.

-AND SO AFTER ALL MY ATTEMPTS

AT INTRIGUE AND
DANGER AND SEDUCTION...

-THAT'S EVEN BETTER.

- WINNIE AND I ENDED
UP LIKE WE ALWAYS DID...

REMINISCING.

-DO YOU REMEMBER THE
FIRST TIME WE SAW THIS MOVIE?

-I GUESS.

-I WAS SICK WITH THE FLU,

AND YOU CAME OVER
TO KEEP ME COMPANY.

-YEAH.

-STILL, IN A WAY,
IT WASN'T ALL BAD.

-WE MUST HAVE WATCHED
FIVE MOVIES THAT WEEK.

-SEVEN.

YOU VISITED ME EVERY DAY.

-FACT WAS, IT FELT PRETTY
GOOD, SITTING THERE, HOLDING HER,

AWAY FROM SCHOOL AND THE
GUYS AND THE LOCKER ROOM.

I SHOULD REALLY CALL MY PARENTS.
THEY DON'T KNOW WHERE I AM.

-NO, LET'S WATCH A LITTLE MORE.

YOU CAN CALL THEM LATER.

-AFTER ALL, THERE
WAS NO NEED TO HURRY.

WE HAD PLENTY OF TIME.

-TAKE ME HOME.

-ALL RIGHT, BUT I'M AFRAID

THAT'S AS FAR AS I'M
GONNA CARRY YOU.

FROM NOW ON, YOU CAN
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.

-WE DIDN'T SEE THE
END OF THE MOVIE.

WE DIDN'T EVEN HEAR THE PHONE,

BECAUSE THAT NIGHT,
WINNIE AND I DID SOMETHING

WE'D NEVER DONE TOGETHER BEFORE.

WE FELL ASLEEP.

-GOOD MORNING.

-THIS IS "TODAY" IN BUCHAREST,

ROMANIA'S CAPITAL
AND ITS LARGEST CITY...

-COMING. COMING.

HELLO?

OH. HI, MOM.

YEAH, YEAH, OF COURSE I'M
UP. I'VE BEEN UP FOR HOURS.

UH, YEAH, YEAH, I'M FINE.

I'M JUST GETTING
READY FOR SCHOOL.

OKAY. I'LL SEE YOU TONIGHT.

BYE.

- OF MODERN APARTMENT
HOUSES, SATELLITE CITIES...

-AND THAT'S WHEN IT HIT ME.

-OH, MY GOD.

-SOMEHOW WINNIE AND I HAD
SLEPT THROUGH THE WHOLE NIGHT.

-OH, MY GOD.

-I HAD TO BE CALM,
THE VOICE OF REASON.

I HAD TO WAKE HER
GENTLY, SO SHE WOULDN'T...

-WINNIE! WAKE UP!

IT'S 7:00!

WE SLEPT IN!

- PANIC.

-♪ WAKE UP, LITTLE
SUSIE, WAKE UP ♪

-FEAR IS A GREAT MOTIVATOR.

TERROR IS EVEN BETTER.

-KEVIN, SLOW DOWN!

-BUT I COULDN'T.

ALL I COULD IMAGINE
WAS WHAT AWAITED US...

ANGRY PARENTS,
OUTRAGED NEIGHBORS,

MAYBE EVEN THE NATIONAL GUARD.

OR MAYBE NOTHING AT ALL.

-THERE'S NO ONE HERE.

-WHO WOULD BE HERE
AT 7:00 IN THE MORNING?

-WELL...

YOU KNOW, THE
MAILMAN, THE PAPER BOY...

-KEVIN, RELAX.

-WELL, SHOULD I
COME IN WITH YOU?

-NO, THAT'S OKAY. IT'D PROBABLY
JUST MAKE THINGS WORSE.

I'LL TAKE CARE OF THIS.

SEE YOU AT SCHOOL.

-AND AT THAT MOMENT,
LOOKING INTO THOSE EYES,

I KNEW THINGS WOULD BE OKAY.

I MEAN, HEY,

WHAT WAS THE ABSOLUTE
WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN?

-YOU TOLD THEM?!

-OF COURSE I TOLD THEM.

-YOU MEAN YOU TOLD
THEM THE TRUTH?

-I TOLD THEM WHAT HAPPENED.

THAT WE FELL ASLEEP
ON YOUR COUCH.

-OF COURSE, I SHOULD
HAVE BEEN RELIEVED, BUT...

-I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU TOLD THEM THAT!

-WHY?

-WELL...

-GEEZ, WE WERE
RED-BLOODED TEENAGERS.

HADN'T THEY CONSIDERED
THE POSSIBILITIES?

-WHAT DID THEY SAY?

-NOT MUCH.

THEY TRUST US.

-WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

-KEVIN, THEY KNEW
NOTHING HAPPENED.

-OH.

-AND THE FUNNY THING WAS,

JUST WHEN I WAS SUPPOSED
TO FEEL OFF THE HOOK,

I FELT INSULTED.

-THE TRUTH WAS,

THEY WERE REALLY RELIEVED
TO HEAR I WAS WITH YOU.

GREAT.

-SO I GUESS EVERYTHING
TURNED OUT OKAY.

-YEAH.

-I'LL SEE YOU AT LUNCH?

-YEAH.

-YEAH.

THEY SAY FOR EVERY ACTION,

THERE'S AN EQUAL AND
OPPOSITE REACTION.

WHEN YOU'RE 16

AND YOUR MANLY PRIDE
HAS BEEN SHRIVELED,

THERE'S ONLY ONE THING TO DO.

-KEVIN!

-PLAYING A LITTLE BIT ROUGH
OUT THERE, HUH, ARNOLD?

-HEY, IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE IT,

WHY DON'T YOU GO PLAY
BADMINTON WITH THE GIRLS?

-OKAY, MAYBE I WAS A
LITTLE OUT OF CONTROL.

I HAD MY REASONS.

-YOU OKAY?

- YEAH. WHY?
- I DON'T KNOW.

JUST LOOKED LIKE YOU WERE
GONNA TAKE A LIFE OUT THERE.

-I DON'T KNOW. I'M JUST
FEELING FRUSTRATED.

-UH-OH.

-BUT, UH...

I MEAN, I'M JUST
HAVING A BAD DAY.

-BUT IT WAS TOO LATE.

I'D BROKEN THE FIRST
RULE OF THE LOCKER ROOM.

-WHAT'S THE MATTER, ARNOLD?

TROUBLE IN PARADISE?

-YEAH, IS, UH, WINNIE
SHUTTING YOU OUT?

-WELL, UH...

NO, NO.

IT'S JUST, WE...

SHE AND I, UH, JUST...

YOU KNOW.

-COME ON, KEV.

TELL US SOMETHING INTERESTING.

-WE'RE WAITING, ARNOLD.

-WHOOPS.

-OR IS THERE JUST
REALLY NOTHING TO TELL?

-NOW, EVERYTHING IN ME TOLD
ME TO KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT.

BUT SOMEHOW, THE WAY THOSE
GUYS WERE LOOKING AT ME...

IT JUST SLIPPED OUT.

-HEY, FOR YOUR INFORMATION,

WINNIE WAS OVER AT
MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT.

-WHOA.

-ALL NIGHT.

-AND?

HEY, USE YOUR IMAGINATION.

-WHICH, OF COURSE, THEY DID...

WHAT LITTLE THEY HAD.

-IS THIS TRUE?

YEAH, OF COURSE IT'S TRUE.

-AND WITH THAT, I BECAME A GOD.

-BUT JUST DON'T
TELL ANYONE, OKAY?

-OUR LIPS ARE SEALED.

-AND THE MOST AMAZING PART IS...

I ACTUALLY BELIEVED THEM.

BY LUNCHTIME, I'D
PRETTY MUCH FORGOTTEN

ABOUT THE WHOLE THING.

-I'LL GET SOME NAPKINS.

-I'LL MEET YOU AT THE TABLE.

-EVERYTHING FELT RIGHT...

WITH ME, WITH WINNIE.

-HEY, ARNOLD.

-UNTIL MY FAN CLUB ARRIVED.

-YOU WANT TO TELL US
ABOUT YOU AND COOPER?

-WHAT?

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

-COME ON, ARNOLD.

FILL US IN ON THE DETAILS.

GET LOST, STEUBEN.

- OOH.
- OOH.

-SUDDENLY I WAS GETTING
THIS QUEASY FEELING,

AND IT WASN'T THE GOULASH.

-HEY, STEUBEN.

I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU
NOT TO TELL ANYONE.

-WELL, HEY.

IF YOU'RE GONNA WALK THE
WALK, YOU GOT TO TALK THE TALK.

GET OUT OF MY WAY.

-BUT I WAS TOO LATE.

-MRS. COOPER?

HI, THIS IS KEVIN.

IS WINNIE THERE?

-BY THAT NIGHT,
NOTHING HAD CHANGED.

-YEAH.

I UNDERSTAND.

SORRY.

-FACE IT... I NEEDED HELP.

-KEVIN!

I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU
TO THROW OUT THE TRASH.

-OH.

SORRY.
- EHH...

-STILL, I GUESS HELP
IS WHERE YOU FIND IT.

-DAD?

-YEAH?

-I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU

ABOUT SOMETHING THAT
HAPPENED HERE LAST NIGHT.

-WHAT IS IT?

-WINNIE CAME OVER
LAST NIGHT, AND...

-AND SO I RECOUNTED
THE WHOLE SORRY TALE,

HOPING FOR SOME ADVICE
AND MAYBE A LITTLE SYMPATHY.

AFTER ALL, DAD HAD BEEN 16 ONCE.

HE'D BEEN IN LOCKER ROOMS.

HE KNEW WHAT THE GUYS WERE LIKE.

WOMEN, HUH?

I MEAN, WHAT AM I
SUPPOSED TO DO?

-BUT IF I WAS LOOKING FOR
SOMEONE TO BACK ME UP...

-GET IN YOUR CAR, GO OVER,
AND APOLOGIZE RIGHT AWAY.

- I CAME UP SHORT.

-YOU THINK SHE'LL LISTEN?

-I WOULDN'T.

-I DIDN'T GO RIGHT AWAY.

MAYBE I WAS TOO PROUD.

MAYBE I WAS TOO AFRAID.

I KEPT TELLING MYSELF OVER
AND OVER THAT WHAT I'D DONE

WASN'T REALLY SO BAD.

BUT I GUESS I KNEW BETTER.

-HI.

-I KNEW WHAT I HAD
TO DO... APOLOGIZE.

-WINNIE, LISTEN.

I'VE GIVEN THIS A LOT
OF THOUGHT, AND...

WHAT I DID WAS WRONG.

IT'S JUST THAT...

THE GUYS WERE
REALLY GETTING ON ME,

AND, YOU KNOW, I
KNOW IT'S NO EXCUSE.

BUT...

I GUESS I...

KIND OF LET THEM GET
THE WRONG IDEA ABOUT US.

OKAY, I DEFINITELY LET THEM
GET THE WRONG IDEA ABOUT US.

BUT YOU GOT TO UNDERSTAND
SOMETHING, WINNIE.

YOU KNOW, WHEN
GUYS GET TOGETHER,

SOMETIMES THINGS GET
A LITTLE OUT OF CONTROL.

I MEAN, NOT
NECESSARILY IN THIS CASE,

BUT...

SOMETIMES...

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

ANYWAY, I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT.

I PROMISE.

-HOW?

-WHAT?

-HOW CAN YOU FIX
SOMETHING LIKE THIS?

-LOOK, CAN WE TALK
ABOUT THIS INSIDE?

-SURE.

-GREAT.

-BECAUSE MY PARENTS AREN'T HOME.

SO IF YOU WANT ME, YOU GOT ME.

-COME ON, KEVIN.

THIS IS WHAT YOU WERE IN
SUCH A HURRY ABOUT, WASN'T IT?

NOW'S YOUR CHANCE.

-WINNIE.

WINNIE.

CAN'T WE JUST GO BACK TO
THE WAY THINGS USED TO BE

AND FORGET ABOUT ALL THIS?

-AND AFTER ALL THE TIMES I
WANTED TO HEAR HER SAY "YES"...

-NO. WE CAN'T.

-THEY SAY HINDSIGHT'S
20/20, AND I GUESS IT'S TRUE.

BECAUSE AS I STOOD OUTSIDE
WINNIE'S HOUSE THAT NIGHT,

I SUDDENLY SAW
IT ALL SO CLEARLY.

I'D SOLD BOTH OF US SHORT

BY TAKING SOMETHING
MOST PEOPLE NEVER HAVE,

AND THROWING IT AWAY
FOR SOMETHING LESS.

I'D BEEN IN SUCH A RUSH

TO IMPRESS PEOPLE WHO
DIDN'T REALLY MATTER,

I'D TORN APART THE
ONLY ONES WHO DID...

US.