The Wonder Years (1988–1993): Season 6, Episode 16 - Nose - full transcript

[JOE COCKER'S "WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS" PLAYS]

-♪ BABY ♪

-♪ BY WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪

-♪ SAID I'M GONNA MAKE
IT WITH MY FRIENDS ♪

-♪ TRY WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪

-♪ OH, I'M GONNA
KEEP ON TRYING ♪

-♪ HIGH WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪

♪ I'M GONNA KEEP ON
TRYING NOW, BABY ♪

-♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪

-IN HIGH SCHOOL,
APPEARANCES ARE EVERYTHING...

THE WAY YOU LOOK,



THE WAY YOU WISH YOU LOOK,

THE WAY YOU WISH
YOU DIDN'T LOOK.

NOBODY IS SATISFIED.

WHICH IS MAYBE WHY,

THROUGHOUT THE
HALLS AND CLASSROOMS,

WE HEAR THE ONE UNIVERSAL CRY.

-WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?

-RICKY HALSENBACH.

WHEN IT CAME TO INFERIORITY
COMPLEXES, HE HAD THEM ALL.

-EVERYBODY'S GOT A DATE
FOR THE DANCE BUT ME.

-AH, COME ON, RICKY.
EVERYONE DOESN'T HAVE A DATE.

-I DO.

-IT'S NOT JUST THE DANCE.

IT SEEMS LIKE EVERY GUY
I KNOW HAS GOT A GIRL.



-OH, COME ON. THAT'S NOT TRUE.

-MAYBE IT'S MY TECHNIQUE.

YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES
I WALK BY COUPLES

JUST TO TRY TO LISTEN IN
ON WHAT THEY'RE SAYING,

FIGURE OUT HOW THEY'RE DOING IT.

AND, YOU KNOW, THEY'RE
NOT SAYING ANYTHING SPECIAL.

THEY'RE JUST SAYING STUFF
LIKE, "PASS THE PEPPER."

WELL, I CAN SAY THAT.

SO, WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?

-NOW, OF COURSE,
THE GUY WAS A FRIEND,

SO WE WANTED TO BE SUPPORTIVE.

-HEY, RICKY, YOU KNOW,
YOU'RE GONNA FIND A GIRL.

IT JUST TAKES TIME, THAT'S ALL.

-SOMETIMES IT TAKES YEARS.

-I'LL SEE YOU
TONIGHT, ALL RIGHT?

-LOOK AT THAT GUY.

WHAT'S HE GOT THAT I DON'T?

-I CAN'T WAIT.

-BUT IF THERE WAS ONE
ESSENTIAL RULE IN HIGH SCHOOL,

IT WAS THAT CERTAIN QUESTIONS
WERE BETTER LEFT UNANSWERED.

-I DON'T KNOW, MAN.

[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

-NOW, WHEN HOLDEN CAULFIELD

WAS TALKING ABOUT ALL
THE PAIN AND SADNESS

HE EXPERIENCED AS A TEENAGER,

HOW DOES THAT RELATE
TO YOUR OWN LIVES?

COME ON!

Y-YOU'RE STUCK IN
THIS PLACE EVERY DAY

WITH ALL ITS CLIQUES
A-AND ALL THE PUT-DOWNS!

WHAT REALLY BUGS YOU?

KEVIN.

-FORTUNATELY, WHEN IT CAME
TO PROTECTIVE SELF-COVERING...

-UH...

THE... CLIQUES AND, YOU
KNOW, THE PUT-DOWNS.

[LAUGHTER]

- I WAS A MASTER.

-I JUST SAID THAT.

-YEAH. I-I REALLY LIKED IT.

[LAUGHTER]

-BRETT? WHAT ABOUT YOU?

WHAT REALLY GETS TO YOU?

BRETT DAVIS...

CLASS PRESIDENT, CAPTAIN
OF THE FOOTBALL TEAM,

AND VOTED THE BOY

MOST LIKELY TO BE BETTER
THAN EVERYBODY ELSE.

-WELL, SOMETIMES IN THE
MIDDLE OF A GAME, I GET WORRIED

THAT I'M NOT STEPPING UP
INTO THE POCKET FAST ENOUGH.

-YEAH.

-[CHUCKLES] YEAH. HE'S
GOT A LOT OF PROBLEMS.

-OKAY.

FOR YOUR NEXT ASSIGNMENT,

I WANT YOU ALL TO
WRITE ABOUT SOMETHING

THAT REALLY BOTHERS
YOU ABOUT YOURSELF.

[STUDENTS SIGH]

-AND THERE YOU HAD IT.

THERE WAS AN UNSPOKEN
CODE NOT TO SPEAK...

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

EXCEPT WHEN YOU HAD
SOMETHING TO SPEAK ABOUT.

-COME IN.

-HELLO.

-YES? MAY I HELP YOU?

-WHOA.

-LOOK AT HER.

-AND YOU ARE, UH...

-HAYLEY GREEN. I JUST
STARTED SCHOOL HERE.

-IT WAS A MOMENT
YOU DON'T FORGET.

THIS GIRL WAS BEAUTIFUL.

-GREAT. YOU CAN TAKE
THAT DESK RIGHT OVER THERE.

-SHE HAD ABSOLUTELY
EVERYTHING...

-HOLY COW.

- AND A LITTLE BIT MORE.

-HOLY COW.

-AND THERE WAS NOTHING
MORE TO SAY EXCEPT...

-HOLY COW.

SHE'S BEAUTIFUL!

-RICKY HALSENBACH...
WAS IN LOVE.

-LOOK AT HER.

SHE'S REALLY GORGEOUS.

-AND NOT JUST IN LOVE.

I'M TALKING DEEPLY,
MADLY, HEAD-OVER-HEELS,

BLIND-AS-A-BAT IN LOVE.

-AS SOON AS I SAW HER, I
KNEW SHE WAS THE ONE.

-WHO'S THE ONE?

-HER.

-WHOA!

-YEAH, SHE'S REALLY
SOMETHING, ISN'T SHE?

-YEAH, SHE'S, UH,
DEFINITELY HARD TO FORGET.

-YEAH, I WISH I COULD MEET HER.

-WELL, IF YOU LIKE HER SO
MUCH, GO AND TALK TO HER.

-WELL, I MEAN, WHAT WOULD I SAY?

-HOW ABOUT, "PASS THE PEPPER"?

-JUST SAY HI.

-WELL, YOU THINK THAT'LL WORK?

-WELL, GO OVER THERE AND SEE.

-OKAY. OKAY, HERE I GO.

I'M GONNA DO IT.

I'M GOING.

-AND AS RICKY BOLDLY
VENTURED FORTH,

WE, OF COURSE, GAVE HIM ALL
THE ENCOURAGEMENT WE COULD.

-DON'T SPIT WHEN YOU TALK.

[LAUGHTER]

-AFTER ALL, IT WAS KIND OF
A BIG MOMENT FOR THE GUY.

-HI.

-HI.

-HI.

-BUT WHILE RICKY WAS DOING
HIS BEST TO BE NOTICED...

-THEY, UH, THEY
LOOK GOOD TOGETHER.

-YEAH, I-I THINK THEY'D
MAKE A NICE COUPLE.

-THEY SEEM... RIGHT
FOR EACH OTHER.

- WE WERE DOING OUR BEST
NOT TO NOTICE THE OBVIOUS...

-YEAH, YOU KNOW, IT SEEMS
LIKE SHE'S GOT A LOT ON THE BALL.

-YEAH.

AND SHE HAS A...
LOT ON HER FACE.

[LAUGHTER]

- UNTIL WE DID.

[POUNDS TABLE]

-COME ON, GUYS. WE
SHOULDN'T BE DOING THIS.

-YEAH, I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT.
WE SHOULDN'T BE DOING THIS.

-THEY LOOK GOOD TOGETHER.

-YEAH, YOU KNOW,
SHE'S GOT GREAT EYES

AND... AND GREAT HAIR, YOU KNOW.

-AND A... GREAT SENSE OF SMELL.

[LAUGHTER]

-IT WAS AWFUL.

THE MORE WE TRIED TO IGNORE IT,

THE MORE WE COULDN'T
HELP OURSELVES.

[LAUGHTER]

OKAY, WHAT CAN I SAY?

I KNEW WE SHOULDN'T BE DOING IT,

BUT FACE IT... IT WAS FUNNY.

-I DON'T THINK
THAT'S FUNNY AT ALL.

-UNFORTUNATELY, SOME PEOPLE

DIDN'T SHARE MY SENSE OF HUMOR.

-WELL, IT'S NOT FUNNY FUNNY,

BUT... YOU KNOW, IT'S FUNNY.

-I DON'T THINK SO.

-COME ON, WINNIE.

-KEVIN, YOU WERE MAKING
FUN OF SOMEONE'S LOOKS.

WHY WOULD YOU DO
SOMETHING LIKE THAT?

-WELL, WHO "KNOWS"?

"NOSE."

-GET IT?

[RIM SHOT]

-THAT IS SO SHALLOW.

-AND, OF COURSE, SHE
WAS ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.

-LOOK, I DON'T SEE WHAT
YOU'RE GETTING SO UPSET ABOUT.

I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE SHE
HEARD US OR ANYTHING.

-WELL, I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT
LOOKS ARE SO IMPORTANT TO YOU.

-WELL, THEY'RE NOT.

WE WERE JUST... KIDDING AROUND.

-STILL, WHEN IT CAME
TO A SENSE OF HUMOR...

-DID YOU KNOW YOU HAVE
SOMETHING REALLY BIG

STUCK BETWEEN YOUR TEETH?

- MAYBE WE ALL NEEDED HELP.

-HOW DOES IT FEEL?

-THAT'S REALLY FUNNY, WINNIE.

AND, BESIDES, THAT'S NOT
LOOKS. THAT'S PERSONAL HYGIENE.

-WHATEVER YOU SAY, KEVIN.

-LOOK, WE'RE JUST
HAVING A LITTLE FUN

ABOUT HER NOSE, THAT'S ALL.

-WELL, DON'T DO IT ANYMORE.

-FINE. WE WON'T DO IT. OKAY?

-AFTER ALL, DID I LOOK
LIKE AN INSENSITIVE CRETIN?

[HORN HONKS]

-CAN YOU BELIEVE THE
SIZE OF THAT HONKER?

-[CHUCKLES]

-THEY WERE THE
INSENSITIVE CRETINS.

-OH, GOD.

-WHAT?

-THEY'RE WALKING
IN HERE RIGHT NOW.

-CAN I GET AN ORDER
OF CHILI FRIES?

-CHILI FRIES.

-YEP, HERE COMES
THE THREE OF THEM.

-[LAUGHS]

-THAT WAS REAL FUNNY, KEVIN.

-WELL, I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING!

-THAT'S NO EXCUSE.

-HEY, GUYS.

- OH. HI.
- HI.

-HI. YOU MUST BE HAYLEY.

-YEAH. THAT'S RIGHT.

-I'M WINNIE. IT'S
NICE TO MEET YOU.

-SO, UH, WHAT HAVE
YOU GUYS BEEN DOING?

-AH, WE WENT TO THE
MOVIES TOGETHER.

-WE SAW "HAROLD AND MAUDE."

IT'S ABOUT THIS OLD
LADY... 80 YEARS OLD...

AND THIS YOUNG GUY ABOUT
19, AND THEY FALL IN LOVE.

-WELL, THAT SOUNDS... NICE.

-I MEAN, IT WAS REALLY
KIND OF BEAUTIFUL.

NOTHING ELSE MATTERED EXCEPT
HOW THEY FELT ABOUT EACH OTHER.

-WE'RE GOING TO THE
SPRING DANCE TOGETHER.

-THAT'S GREAT.

-YEAH. I, UH, I ASKED
HER, AND SHE SAID YES.

-WELL, THAT'S USUALLY
HOW IT WORKS, RICKY.

-SITTING THERE, WATCHING HAYLEY,

I STARTED TO SEE
WHAT RICKY SAW IN HER.

SHE WAS NICE, FRIENDLY.

IT ALMOST MADE YOU
COMPLETELY FORGET ABOUT...

-OH.

-WHAT'S THE MATTER?

- THAT NOSE.

-I'M GONNA SNEEZE.

-IT WAS HORRIBLE.

IT WAS LIKE BATTENING
DOWN FOR A HURRICANE...

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]

HEADING FOR THE STORM
CELLAR DURING A TORNADO.

-[SNEEZES DAINTILY]

-GESUNDHEIT.

-THANK YOU.

-WELL, UH, WE GOT TO BE GOING.

-IT WAS NICE MEETING YOU.

-BYE.

-IT WAS ALL WE COULD DO
TO KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE

AND HOPE THAT
NOBODY WOULD NOTICE.

[LAUGHTER]

-SHUT UP!

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

-UNFORTUNATELY, SOMEBODY DID.

-WHAT WAS EVERYBODY
LAUGHING AT YESTERDAY?

-LAUGHING?

WERE WE LAUGHING?

-YEAH, AT THE DINER.

DID HAYLEY SAY SOMETHING FUNNY?

-NO. I DON'T THINK SO.

-WELL, YOU WEREN'T LAUGHING
AT HER NOSE, WERE YOU?

-WHOOPS.

-NOSE?

WHAT NOSE?

-[SCOFFS] HAVEN'T YOU
NOTICED? IT'S A LITTLE BIG, ISN'T IT?

-N-NO.

I MEAN, IT... IT'S
JUST A... NOSE.

JUST LIKE ANYONE ELSE'S NOSE.

I MEAN, IT'S, UH, JUST A-A NOSE.

T-THAT'S ALL IT IS... A NOSE.

-I FIGURED IF I SAID THE
WORD "NOSE" 3,000 TIMES,

MAYBE HE'D BELIEVE ME.

[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

-OKAY, EVERYBODY.

CLASS IS STARTING.

TAKE YOUR SEATS.

TODAY'S REPORTS ARE ON THINGS

THAT REALLY BOTHER
US ABOUT OURSELVES.

WHO WANTS TO READ THEIRS FIRST?

-AND IT WAS TIME TO GET
BACK UNDER OUR SHELLS.

-HOW ABOUT YOU, HAYLEY?

-ALL BUT ONE OF US.

-HI.

UH, I GUESS ALL OF US

HAVE DIFFERENT
THINGS THAT BOTHER US...

THE WAY WE LOOK
OR THE WAY WE FEEL,

THE WAY PEOPLE TREAT US.

FOR ME...

-UH-OH.

- IT'S SHOPPING.

SEE, I LOOK IN A STORE WINDOW

AT THE BLOUSES AND THE
DRESSES AND THE SLACKS,

AND THE FACT IS...

NOTHING REALLY
GOES WITH A BIG NOSE.

-UH-OH!

-I MEAN, YOU CAN WEAR DARK
CLOTHES TO LOOK THINNER,

BUT HERE I AM
WITH THIS BIG NOSE,

AND IT REALLY DOESN'T
MATTER WHAT I WEAR.

IT'S, UH, STILL THERE.

AND IT'S BEEN HERE
FOR A LONG TIME.

[CHUCKLES]

I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS 14...

I WENT TO SEE THIS DOCTOR
ABOUT GETTING A NOSE JOB,

AND HE TOLD ME THAT
I SHOULDN'T GET IT

BECAUSE MY NOSE
WAS STILL GROWING.

AND I THOUGHT TO MYSELF,

"HOW BIG IS THIS
THING GONNA GET?"

I-I MEAN, I HAD VISIONS

OF IT GETTING CAUGHT
IN ELEVATOR DOORS.

ANYWAY, UM...

SOMETIMES...
SOMETIMES I DREAM THAT...

THAT MAGICALLY IT'S
GOTTEN SMALLER, BUT...

BUT I KNOW IT'S NOT TRUE, SO...

I GUESS I JUST HAVE
TO PUT UP WITH IT.

I MEAN, IT GIVES ME PERSONALITY.

I HAVE THE PERSONALITY
OF A GIRL WITH A BIG NOSE.

[CHUCKLES]

I GUESS IT'S WHO I AM,

AND... I GUESS THAT'S OKAY.

-IT WAS WARM. IT WAS FUNNY.

IN THE ANNALS OF HIGH
SCHOOL, IT WAS, PERHAPS,

THE MOST HONEST, TRUE,
SELF-AWARE SPEECH EVER GIVEN.

[LAUGHTER]

IT WAS ALSO SOMETHING ELSE.

IT WAS THE BIGGEST
MISTAKE ANY KID EVER MADE.

BY THAT EVENING,

THE INFAMOUS McKINLEY
HIGH "NOSE SPEECH"

HAD BECOME A FAIRLY HOT TOPIC,

NOT THAT IT WAS ANYTHING
TO GET ALL WORKED UP ABOUT.

-I HAVE NEVER HEARD ANYTHING
SO DESPICABLE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!

-RATS.

-I MEAN, WHAT
WERE YOU THINKING?!

-COME ON, WINNIE.
IT'S NOT THAT BAD.

-HOW WOULD YOU FEEL
IF I HAD A BIG NOSE?

-WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

-I MEAN, WOULD YOU
STILL GO OUT WITH ME?

-OF COURSE I WOULD.

[THE FOUR TOPS' "WALK
AWAY RENEE" PLAYING]

HOW BIG?

- OH, THAT'S GREAT, KEVIN.
- NO, I REALLY WANT TO KNOW.

I MEAN, ARE WE TALKING
A FOOT OR 2 FEET

OR, YOU KNOW,
LIKE JIMMY DURANTE?

I MEAN, COME ON, WINNIE.

IT WAS HAYLEY WHO READ
THE SPEECH IN THE FIRST PLACE.

I MEAN, SHE WAS
MAKING FUN OF HER NOSE.

-AND WHAT ABOUT RICKY?

HE'S YOUR FRIEND, AND
HE CARES ABOUT HER.

HOW COULD YOU JUST
LAUGH AT HER LIKE THAT?

WHAT DO YOU THINK
THAT DOES TO HIM?

-HMM.

-I'VE GOT TO DUMP HER.

-WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

-IT'S HARD FOR ME
TO EVEN LOOK AT HER.

-WELL, BUT I THOUGHT YOU
SAID SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL.

-WELL, I DID.

AND THEN SHE MADE THAT SPEECH.

AND THEN I STARTED TO NOTICE
EVERYBODY LOOKING AT HER.

AND NOW, WHEN I SEE HER,

ALL I SEE IS HER NOSE.

AND IT SEEMS LIKE EVERY
DAY IT'S JUST GETTING BIGGER!

[ ELEPHANT TRUMPETS]

I KEEP THINKING IT'S GONNA
WRAP AROUND HER HEAD

LIKE A GIANT TURBAN!

-RICKY!

YOU SOUND CRAZY!

-I CAN'T TAKE HER TO THAT DANCE.

-THIS WAS GETTING
TOTALLY OUT OF CONTROL.

-OH, MAN, THAT'S TOMORROW NIGHT.

-I CAN'T HELP IT.

-COME ON, RICKY.
YOU REALLY LIKE HER.

-YEAH, WELL, I'VE GOT MY
REPUTATION TO THINK ABOUT.

-WAIT A MINUTE.

-YOU DON'T HAVE A REPUTATION.

-IF I TAKE HER TO THE DANCE,

EVERYBODY'S GONNA
BE LAUGHING AT ME.

-LOOK, YOU CAN'T BREAK
THE DATE WITH HER.

I MEAN, YOU'RE REALLY
GONNA HURT HER FEELINGS.

-I KNOW. I KNOW.

WILL YOU DO IT?

-ME?!

-YEAH, WELL, YOU'RE
ALWAYS NICE TO PEOPLE.

-OH, GOD.

-AND YOU'RE ALWAYS
SENSITIVE TO THEIR FEELINGS.

-LOOK, I'M NOT GONNA DO
YOUR DIRTY WORK FOR YOU.

THIS IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY.

-RIGHT. I'LL DO IT, THEN.

-WELL, THEN, GO DO IT.

-I'M GONNA DO IT.

-BUT EVEN THOUGH I'D WASHED
MY HANDS OF THE WHOLE MESS...

I COULDN'T HELP BUT
FEEL A LITTLE BIT...

-YOU CAN'T GO TO THE DANCE?

- GUILTY.

-[SIGHS] YEAH.

WELL, UH, MY, UH, M-MY COUSIN'S
COMING IN FROM OUT OF TOWN,

AND... AND SHE'S GOT
THIS MEDICAL CONDITION,

AND IT'S A... IT'S A... IT'S A
WEBBED-FOOT DUCK THING.

-A WEBBED-FOOT DUCK THING?

-RICKY SOMEHOW CAME UP WITH THE
WORST EXCUSE KNOWN TO MANKIND.

-A-AND THERE'S ONLY,
LIKE, 63 KNOWN CASES.

-AND THEN HE EMBELLISHED IT.

-AND, YOU KNOW, IT'S
WHEN YOU'RE BORN

WITH YOUR TOES STUCK TOGETHER
BY SOME SORT OF S-STUFF.

-THAT DOESN'T SOUND VERY GOOD.

-WELL, I-I HATE TO
MISS THE DANCE,

BUT, UH, WE'RE GONNA HAVE
TO TAKE HER TO THE HOSPITAL

TOMORROW NIGHT.

-YEAH.

UH, I HOPE SHE'S OKAY.

-OF COURSE, HAYLEY MUST
HAVE KNOWN IT WAS A LIE,

BUT SHE HANDLED IT WITH DIGNITY.

[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

-♪ SINCE I MET YOU ♪

♪ I'VE BEGUN TO FEEL... ♪

-SATURDAY NIGHT... OUR
ANNUAL SPRING DANCE.

ROMANCE WAS IN THE AIR.

COUPLES WERE IN
EACH OTHER'S ARMS.

-LISTEN, WINNIE, IF WE
WERE ANY FARTHER APART,

I COULD GET YOU PUNCH
WHILE WE'RE DANCING.

-IS THAT ANOTHER ONE
OF YOUR JOKES, KEVIN?

-WELL, MOST COUPLES.

-WINNIE, IS THIS ABOUT RICKY?

-I CAN'T BELIEVE
HE BROKE THE DATE.

AND I CAN'T BELIEVE
HE CAME HERE.

-AND THE THING
WAS, NEITHER COULD I.

-I'M GONNA GO POWDER MY...

-NOSE?

-NEVER MIND.

-YEP. ROMANCE WAS
DEFINITELY, POSITIVELY IN THE AIR.

-SO, YOU ENJOYING YOURSELF?

-[SCOFFS] YEAH.

-PASS OUT THE PARTY HATS.

-♪ COULD IT BE I'M
FALLING IN LOVE? ♪

-LOOK AT HIM.

WELL, HE DOES LOOK BAD, HUH?

-YEAH.

-♪ WITH YOU ♪

♪ WITH YOU ♪

-HEY.

HOW YOU DOING?

-GOOD.

I'M JUST, UH, TRYING
TO FIGURE OUT

WHO I'M GONNA DANCE WITH NEXT.

-RIGHT.

-NEXT?

-NEXT, FIRST... ONE
OF THOSE THINGS.

[CHUCKLES] YEAH. RIGHT.

-YEAH, I'M REALLY HAVING A
GREAT TIME AND EVERYTHING.

I'M REALLY GLAD I
DIDN'T BRING HAYLEY.

-♪ MEETING YOU WAS MY DESTINY ♪

-BUT THE FACT WAS...

-MAYBE I SHOULD
HAVE BROUGHT HAYLEY.

- I GUESS WE WERE BOTH
FEELING KIND OF BAD.

-♪ ...I'LL BE AROUND ♪

-I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

-♪ YOU'LL ALWAYS BE... ♪

-AND THEN IT HAPPENED.

RICKY HALSENBACH
GOT A SECOND CHANCE.

-RICKY, THIS IS GREAT.

SHE'S RIGHT...

RICKY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

-I CAN'T LET HER SEE ME. SHE
THINKS I'M AT THE HOSPITAL.

-WELL, SO MAKE UP AN EXCUSE,
AND LET'S GO OUT THERE.

-HOW? I TOLD HER THAT STUPID
WEBBED-FOOT DUCK STORY.

-OKAY, A MINOR DETAIL.

-WELL, THEN, GO OUT THERE
AND TELL HER THE TRUTH.

-[SIGHS] I CAN'T.

-RICKY, REMEMBER
WHEN YOU FIRST MET HER?

I MEAN, YOU WERE
CRAZY ABOUT HER.

YOU TWO WERE MEANT
FOR EACH OTHER.

AND THEN YOU HAD TO
START LISTENING TO US JERKS

AND EVERYTHING.

I MEAN, HALF THE TIME,

WE DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.

WE JUST TALK JUST TO TALK.
DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?

I MEAN, YOU HAD
SOMETHING GREAT TOGETHER.

SO JUST... GO OUT
THERE AND TELL HER THAT.

DON'T LET ANYTHING
GET IN YOUR WAY.

-I DON'T KNOW.

MAYBE I WAS TRYING TO MAKE UP

FOR ALL MY BAD
JOKES AND CRUELTY.

-LET'S DO IT.

-♪ PEOPLE ALL OVER
THE WORLD, JOIN HANDS ♪

-BUT AS WE WENT OUT THERE,

I COULDN'T HELP FEELING
WE WERE BOTH LUCKY.

YOU DON'T GET THAT MANY
OPPORTUNITIES TO MAKE AMENDS,

RECTIFY A WRONG,

TO LOSE A LOVE
AND FIND IT AGAIN.

-HI.

-HI.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPOSED
TO BE WITH YOUR COUSIN.

-YEAH, WELL, THE TRUTH IS...

THEY DECIDED TO PUT
OFF THE OPERATION.

I-I DIDN'T KNOW YOU
WERE GONNA BE HERE.

-WELL... YEAH.

-WELL, I'M REALLY GLAD.

DO YOU WANT TO DANCE?

-AND THERE IT WAS.

ROMANCE WAS FINALLY IN THE AIR.

-ACTUALLY, TO TELL
YOU THE TRUTH, RICKY,

I-I CAME WITH A DATE.

-♪ JOIN HANDS ♪

-♪ COME ON ♪

-THERE YOU ARE.

-HI, BRETT.

-AND THEN "GUESS WHO"
STEPPED UP INTO THE POCKET.

-OH, BRETT, YOU
KNOW KEVIN, RICKY?

-YEAH.

UH, YOU'RE IN MY ENGLISH CLASS.

-UH... YEAH. WE BOTH ARE.

-DIDN'T HAYLEY GIVE A GREAT
SPEECH THE OTHER DAY?

-IT WASN'T THAT GOOD.

-YEAH, IT WAS. IT
TOOK A LOT OF GUTS.

I WISH I HAD THAT
KIND OF COURAGE.

IT WAS GOOD SEEING YOU, KEVIN

AND, UH, UH...

- RICKY.
- RICKY.

[JOE COCKER'S "YOU
ARE SO BEAUTIFUL" PLAYS]

-AND AS HAYLEY SET OFF, HAND
IN HAND WITH HER NEW BEAU,

ONE QUESTION
NATURALLY CAME TO MIND.

-WHAT'S HE GOT THAT I DON'T?

-AND, OF COURSE, THERE
WAS ONLY ONE ANSWER.

-♪ YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL ♪

-HE HAD HER.

-♪ TO ME ♪

-THAT NIGHT WAS
ALMOST LIKE A FAIRY TALE...

A NIGHT FILLED WITH MAGIC...

AND LOVE... AND PRINCESSES...

AND PUMPKINS.

MAYBE IT WAS FITTING.

IN A LAND OF INSECURITY,

WHERE CURLY-HAIRED
KIDS WANTED STRAIGHT HAIR

AND HEAVY KIDS
WANTED TO LOSE WEIGHT

AND SKINNY ONES
WANTED TO GAIN IT

AND EVERYBODY WANTED
TO BE SOMEBODY ELSE,

THE ONE TRUE BEAUTY

WAS THE GIRL WHO
SIMPLY KNEW HERSELF

AND WAS HAPPY
WITH WHAT SHE KNEW.

-SHE'S REALLY PRETTY, ISN'T SHE?

-YEAH. I REALLY LIKE WHAT
SHE DID WITH HER HAIR.

-I WISH I HAD HER
NOSE. IT'S SO EXOTIC.

-♪ ...BEAUTIFUL ♪

♪ TO ME ♪

♪ YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL ♪

♪ TO ME ♪

♪ YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL ♪