The Wonder Years (1988–1993): Season 5, Episode 22 - The Wedding - full transcript

With their wedding day approaching, Karen and Michael decided to forgo a traditional church ceremony in favor of a small outdoor ceremony with family and friends. Kevin sees a potential ...

-♪ WHAT WOULD YOU DO
IF I SANG OUT OF TUNE? ♪

♪ WOULD YOU STAND UP
AND WALK OUT ON ME? ♪

♪ LEND ME YOUR EARS,
AND I'LL SING YOU A SONG ♪

♪ I WILL TRY NOT TO
SING OUT OF KEY, YEAH ♪

♪ OH, BABY, I GET BY ♪
- ♪ BY WITH A LITTLE HELP
FROM MY FRIENDS ♪

-♪ ALL I NEED IS MY BUDDIES ♪

-♪ HIGH WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪

-♪ I'M SAYIN' I'M GONNA GET HIGHER ♪ - ♪
TRY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪

-♪ WHOA-OA-OA-OA ♪

-♪ OH, OH, OH, OH ♪

-♪ SOMEBODY WHO
KNOWS QUITE SURE ♪



♪ BABY ♪

-♪ BY WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪

-♪ SAID I'M GONNA MAKE
IT WITH MY FRIENDS ♪

-♪ TRY WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪

-♪ OH, I'M GONNA
KEEP ON TRYING ♪

-♪ HIGH WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪

♪ I'M GONNA KEEP ON
TRYING NOW, BABY ♪

-♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪

-IN 1972, THE "ME"
DECADE WAS DAWNING,

AND PEOPLE EVERYWHERE
WERE DOING THEIR OWN THING...

-♪ HERE'S A LITTLE SONG
YOU CAN ALL JOIN IN WITH ♪

♪ IT'S VERY SIMPLE ♪

- LETTING IT ALL HANG OUT,

AND SETTING OUT
TO FIND THEMSELVES.



-♪ ANY OLD WORDS THAT
YOU THINK WILL DO, YEAH ♪

-THE WORLD WAS... CHANGING.

AND MY FAMILY WAS
RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF IT.

-SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

-IT'S... NICE, HONEY.

-YEAH, WE GOT A REAL DEAL ON IT.

MICHAEL'S GONNA
PAINT IT AND FIX IT UP.

AREN'T YOU, MICHAEL?

-UH, YEAH. SURE.

-WELL, WHATEVER YOU DO,

DON'T GET RID OF THE
MATTRESS BACK HERE.

-FACE IT... THE ARNOLD FAMILY
WAS UNDERGOING A RADICAL SHIFT.

EVERYBODY COMFORTABLE?

-WE WERE IN A PERIOD
OF READJUSTMENT,

A STATE OF... FLUX.

AFTER ALL, AFTER 12
MONTHS OF TURMOIL,

WE WERE BACK TOGETHER AGAIN.

THERE WAS, OF COURSE, A REASON.

-AH, THE LOVELY BRIDE-
AND GROOM-TO-BE.

-MY SISTER WAS GETTING
MARRIED. AT LAST.

-I'M ALWAYS PLEASED TO BRING
TOGETHER A MAN AND WIFE.

-YOU MEAN... MAN AND WOMAN.

-WELL, OF COURSE.

-NOT THAT IT WAS
GONNA BE SIMPLE.

WHEN IT CAME TO MY
FAMILY, NOTHING EVER WAS.

-SO, WHAT KIND OF A
CEREMONY DO WE HAVE IN MIND?

-WELL, WE HAVEN'T REALLY
TALKED ABOUT IT, BUT...

-WE THOUGHT... SOMETHING
SIMPLE BUT TRADITIONAL.

-WE DID?

-YOU KNOW, SOMETHING WITH
FLOWERS AND MUSIC AND HYMNS.

NOT TOO FORMAL,
BUT... KIND OF ELEGANT.

-OF COURSE, THE WHOLE THING
WAS STILL IN THE PLANNING STAGES.

-UH, MOM?

UH, MICHAEL AND I
WERE ACTUALLY THINKING

OF SOMETHING A LITTLE LESS...

-WELL, THAT'S OKAY,
HONEY. WHATEVER YOU WANT.

-GOOD. GOOD, GOOD.

-WE DON'T HAVE
TO HAVE THE HYMNS.

-HMM.

-EXCELLENT!

NOW, WHEN SHALL WE SCHEDULE

OUR PREMARITAL
COUNSELING SESSIONS?

PREMARITAL COUNSELING.
WHAT IS THIS, THE STONE AGE?

-IT WAS A CLASSIC CASE
OF APPLES AND ORANGES.

-WELL, HONEY, MAYBE WE
CAN FIND ANOTHER CHURCH.

-MOM, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

I DON'T WANT MY WEDDING
IN SOME MUSTY OLD CHAPEL.

-WELL, THEN HOW ABOUT
SOMETHING... UNITARIAN?

-TROUBLE WAS, THE ORANGES
SEEMED TO BE WINNING.

-I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.

- BUT, HONEY...
- MOM!

-MR. ARNOLD? DO YOU
THINK YOU COULD...

-AH, AH, AH. DON'T ASK
ME. I JUST PAY THE BILLS.

-THIS IS GOING GREAT
SO FAR, DON'T YOU THINK?

-MM. I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.

YOU WANT ME TO TALK TO HIM?

-NO. IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.

WHY CAN'T WE JUST GET MARRIED
AND GO ON WITH OUR LIVES?

-YEAH.

-BUT EVEN I KNEW
ENOUGH ABOUT WEDDINGS

TO KNOW THEY WEREN'T
ABOUT GETTING MARRIED.

THEY WERE MORE ABOUT...

-I FEEL LIKE A MONKEY.

- MAKING TOTAL
FOOLS OF OURSELVES...

-YOU LOOK LIKE A MONKEY.

- IN PUBLIC.

-JUST DO THIS...
FOR YOUR SISTER.

- BUT WE...
- IT'LL MAKE HER HAPPY.

-THE TROUBLE WAS, THE MORE
WE ALL MADE KAREN HAPPY,

THE MORE MISERABLE SHE LOOKED.

-THERE.

DONE.

IT'S BEAUTIFUL, DON'T YOU THINK?

-IT'S GORGEOUS,
MOM. IT'S ALSO YOURS.

-WHAT DO YOU THINK, JACK?

-WELL...

-DON'T ASK HIM. HE
JUST PAYS THE BILLS.

-AND THERE YOU HAD IT.

BETWEEN DAD'S WALLET
AND MOM'S GOOD INTENTIONS...

-NOW LET'S TRY THE VEIL.

- THINGS WERE GETTING
A TAD OUT OF HAND.

MICHAEL!

YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO SEE
THE BRIDE IN HER WEDDING DRESS.

-MOM, HE'S SEEN ME NAKED.

-SO, MICHAEL, HOW ARE
THINGS GOING UP AT THE HOUSE?

-OH, WELL, I'VE JUST ABOUT
FINISHED UP THE CARPENTRY WORK,

SO THE OWNER'S
GONNA TRY AND SELL IT.

-YOU MEAN YOU'RE GONNA MOVE OUT?

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO FOR A JOB?

-WELL, I'VE BEEN
LOOKING AROUND...

FOR OTHER WORK.

IN FACT, WE'VE...

ACTUALLY, WE'VE BEEN MEANING TO...
- MICHAEL!

-NOW, IT WAS PRETTY CLEAR
SOMETHING WAS UP HERE.

SOMETHING BIG.

-WHY HAVEN'T YOU TOLD US?

-AND AS USUAL, MOM NAILED IT.

-WELL...

-'CAUSE IF YOU TWO
NEED A PLACE TO STAY,

YOU CAN STAY WITH US.

-UH-OH.

-JACK, MAYBE YOU COULD
CHECK FOR OPENINGS AT NORCOM.

-WHAT?!

-UM...

-AND THAT'S WHEN
THE LID BLEW OFF.

-MOTHER, NO!

I CAN'T DO THIS!

I-I CAN'T WEAR THIS DRESS,

AND I CAN'T HAVE
THIS KIND OF WEDDING!

WE HAVE TO DO IT OUR OWN WAY.

CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?!

-AND FINALLY THE
TRUTH HAD BEEN TOLD.

-THIS... ISN'T WHAT YOU WANT?

-AND WITH THAT,

THE GREAT ARNOLD
PRENUPTIAL CRISIS OF 1972...

PASSED INTO HISTORY.

-THIS MUST BE A RELIEF, HUH?

-HOW?

-WELL, I MEAN MAKING
YOUR OWN PLANS,

HAVING THE WEDDING
AT YOUR HOUSE, AND ALL.

-HECK, SEEMED TO ME THE
LINES OF COMMUNICATION

HAD BEEN FIRMLY REESTABLISHED.

-KAREN! YOU READY?!

-I'LL BE RIGHT THERE!

-IN FACT, THE ONLY ONE
WHO DIDN'T SEEM CONVINCED

WAS THE GROOM-TO-BE.

-MICHAEL... YOU OKAY?

-CAN YOU KEEP A SECRET?

-WELL... YEAH.

-I GOT A JOB.

WELL THAT'S GREAT!

-AND IT WAS.

AT LEAST, I THOUGHT IT WAS.

-THERE'S JUST ONE THING.

IT'S IN ALASKA.

-ALASKA?

-OKAY, MICHAEL, I'M READY.

BYE, KEV.

-YEAH.

-READY?

-AND RIGHT ABOUT THEN,

I KNEW FOR SURE WHAT I
SHOULD HAVE GUESSED ALL ALONG.

-TAKE CARE!

-WE WEREN'T GAINING AN IN-LAW.

BYE!

WE WERE LOSING A FAMILY.

THE NEXT WEEKEND, WE SET
OFF FOR THE FIRST MARRIAGE

IN MY FAMILY'S BRIEF HISTORY.

-YOU KNOW, JACK,
MAYBE IT'S BETTER

THAT KAREN'S HAVING THE KIND
OF WEDDING SHE REALLY WANTS.

-I THINK SO.

-LITTLE DID MY PARENTS KNOW

THEIR ONLY DAUGHTER WAS
ABOUT TO BE WHISKED AWAY

TO AN IGLOO IN THE LAND
OF THE MIDNIGHT SUN.

-DO YOU HAVE THE CHECK, HONEY?

-RIGHT HERE.

-CHECK? WHAT CHECK?

-FOR KAREN AND MICHAEL.
A LITTLE WEDDING GIFT.

- HOW MUCH IS IT?
- NEVER MIND.

IT'S FOR A DOWN PAYMENT
WHEN THEY FIND A HOUSE.

-BUT AS MUCH AS I WANTED
TO STAY OUT OF THIS,

I KNEW SOMEBODY HAD
TO BREAK THE NEWS.

-MOM, DAD? LISTEN.

-YEAH?

-ABOUT... KAREN AND MICHAEL.

-WHAT ABOUT 'EM?

-GREAT GIFT.

-IT JUST DIDN'T SEEM LIKE
MY PLACE TO TELL THEM.

AND SO, WE ARRIVED.

-WELL... THIS IS IT.

-I JUST... HOPE THIS
WHOLE THING IS LEGAL.

-OH, DON'T WORRY, HONEY.

KAREN SAID SHE FOUND
AN ORDAINED MINISTER.

-YEAH.

-AH. WELCOME, WELCOME.

TO THE HAPPINESS AND
JOY THAT WAS AND IS TO BE.

YES?

AH, YES?

YOUR AURA IS ONE
OF PATERNAL LOVE.

IT IS A VERY STRONG VIBRATION.

-CLEARLY, WE WERE IN
NEW TERRITORY HERE.

-KAREN'S MOTHER.

SO LIKE THE TREMBLING
STRINGS OF THE LUTE.

-THANK YOU.

-BROTHERLY LOVE.

POSITIVE SUPPORTIVE
VIBRATIONS. VERY GOOD.

-YEAH.

-NICE TO MEET YOU.

-LET'S PUT IT THIS WAY...

-AND THESE ARE MY
FRIENDS RAINBOW AND WIND.

MY FAMILY.

- WE WERE KIND OF LIKE
STRANGERS IN A STRANGE LAND.

-IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU... WIND.

-NO, NO, I'M RAINBOW.
THIS IS WIND.

-OH, YEAH?

AND THIS IS BUTTHEAD.

-STILL, THAT AFTERNOON, A
FUNNY THING STARTED TO HAPPEN.

LITTLE BY LITTLE, WE WERE
DRAWN IN TO KAREN'S WORLD.

-♪ YEAH, YEAH ♪

-FOR THE FIRST
TIME IN A LONG TIME,

MOM AND DAD ACTUALLY SMILED.

I MEAN REALLY SMILED.

MAYBE THERE WAS A REASON.

MAYBE IT HAD TO
DO WITH... FAMILY.

- HEY.
- STILL, BY AROUND 4:00...

-HEY.

- I WAS BEGINNING TO
FEEL TIME RUNNING OUT.

-IT'S A GREAT PARTY.

-YEAH.

-OKAY, I'D NEVER BEEN REAL GOOD

WITH INTERPERSONAL
DIALOGUE WITH MY SISTER.

SO I FIGURED APPROACH
THIS SENSITIVELY.

-SO, WHEN ARE YOU
GONNA TELL 'EM?

MOM AND DAD.

ABOUT ALASKA.

-OH.

-I MEAN, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO,

S-SEND 'EM A POSTCARD
WITH A POLAR BEAR ON IT?

-NO, I JUST... I HAVEN'T
FOUND THE RIGHT MOMENT YET.

BESIDES... YOU
KNOW HOW THEY ARE.

-AND THAT WAS THE PROBLEM.

UNFORTUNATELY, I DID.

THAT NIGHT, WE JOINED TOGETHER

TO CELEBRATE THE
NEXT DAY'S WEDDING.

SURE, MAYBE IT WASN'T
EXACTLY THE KIND OF BASH

MY PARENTS HAD IN MIND.

BUT IN ITS OWN FUNKY
WAY, IT WAS... CLASSIC.

-THE FOOD IS WONDERFUL, MICHAEL.

-OH, THANKS, MRS. ARNOLD.

-YEP. THE GRUB IS GREAT.

-YOU'LL HAVE TO TEACH
ME THESE RECIPES, HONEY.

-SURE.

-STILL, I COULDN'T HELP NOTICING

THE BRIDE LOOKED
A LITTLE... NERVOUS.

-MOM... LISTEN...

-EXCUSE ME, BUT I HAVE
SOMETHING I HAVE TO SAY.

UH... YOU KNOW, THIS
HAS BEEN A HECK OF A DAY.

I MEAN, SEEING THE WAY YOU LIVE,

AND MEETING YOUR FRIENDS.

I GUESS WE NEVER REALLY
HAD THE TIME BEFORE,

BUT I HOPE THAT CAN CHANGE NOW.

YOU KNOW, I DON'T KNOW
WHEN YOU GREW UP, KAREN.

BUT WE'RE VERY PROUD
OF THE WAY YOU DID.

AND, MICHAEL... NORMA
AND I BOTH FEEL...

LUCKY THAT YOU'RE
JOINING OUR FAMILY.

-ALL IN ALL,

IT MAY HAVE BEEN THE
BEST SPEECH DAD EVER MADE.

-SO... WE, UM...

WE HAVE A LITTLE SOMETHING
TO HELP YOU GET STARTED.

- OKAY, HERE IT COMES.
- AND THAT'S WHEN IT HAPPENED.

-OKAY, COME ON.

-OF COURSE, IT ALL
SEEMED INNOCENT ENOUGH.

-WHAT'S THIS?

-IT'S HOMEMADE.

-OH, JACK, ISN'T THAT LOVELY?

-AND IT WAS...

A WORK OF ART, A CREATION
OF JOY AND CELEBRATION.

I THINK WE ALL SAW IT AT
ABOUT THE SAME MOMENT.

- "ALASKA OR BUST"?

HONEY, WHAT'S THAT MEAN?

-UH...

-BUT KAREN'S FACE SAID IT ALL.

-I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

-STILL, IT WAS
PRETTY CLEAR SHE DID.

-MOM...

MR. ARNOLD...

- BUT SOMEHOW...
- DAD?

- IT WAS JUST TOO
LITTLE, TOO LATE.

I, UH...

-I WASN'T QUITE
SURE WHAT TO SAY.

EXCEPT MAYBE...

-IS THERE ANY ICE CREAM IN HERE?

- SHUT UP, BUTTHEAD.
- OH.

-LISTEN, IF YOU GUYS
NEED ANY HELP...

I MEAN WITH...

THE DISHES OR ANYTHING...

-BUT, HELL, WHAT
DID I HAVE TO OFFER?

I COULDN'T FIX THIS.

-HI.

I DIDN'T MEAN FOR YOU
TO FIND OUT THIS WAY.

-WHEN WERE YOU GONNA TELL US?

-I DON'T KNOW.

TONIGHT. NOW.

I JUST...

I DIDN'T WANT TO
SPOIL EVERYTHING.

-KAREN, WE'RE YOUR PARENTS.

DON'T YOU THINK WE
HAVE A RIGHT TO KNOW?

-MOM, IT... IT DOESN'T
CHANGE ANYTHING.

MICHAEL AND I HAVE A LIFE.
YOU HAVE TO LET US GO.

-IN A WAY, IT WAS A PLEA...

FROM A CHILD WHO'D GROWN UP...

AND WHOSE PARENTS
COULD NEVER UNDERSTAND.

-KNOW WHAT I REMEMBER?

I MOVED YOU A THOUSAND
MILES AWAY FROM HOME.

LOOK, HONEY, IF
YOU HAVE TO LEAVE,

WE'RE NOT GONNA STOP YOU.

BUT WHEREVER YOU ARE...

WE WILL NEVER, EVER LET YOU GO.

KAREN?

THEY, UH, WANT US OUTSIDE.

-♪ HE IS NOW TO BE AMONG YOU ♪

♪ AT THE CALLING
OF YOUR HEARTS ♪

♪ REST ASSURED THIS
TROUBADOUR IS ACTING ON HIS PART ♪

-KAREN AND MICHAEL,

IT IS A JOYOUS JOURNEY
YOU BEGIN TODAY.

-THE NEXT MORNING, I WATCHED
MY SISTER GET MARRIED...

AND WELCOMED A NEW
BROTHER INTO MY FAMILY.

-♪ ...ARE GATHERED IN HIS NAME ♪

-"YOUR CHILDREN ARE
NOT YOUR CHILDREN.

THEY ARE THE SONS AND DAUGHTERS
OF LIFE'S LONGING FOR ITSELF.

YOU MAY HOUSE THEIR
BODIES BUT NOT THEIR SOULS.

FOR THEIR SOULS DWELL IN
THE HOUSE OF TOMORROW.

FOR LIFE GOES NOT BACKWARD,
NOR TARRIES WITH YESTERDAY."

-♪ WELL, A MAN SHALL
LEAVE HIS MOTHER ♪

-I WATCHED MY MOTHER
SEND HER FIRSTBORN CHILD

OUT INTO THE WORLD
AND FELT HER SORROW.

AND HER JOY.

-AND WHO BROUGHT
KAREN INTO BEING

AND NOW PRESENTS HER
TO BE UNITED WITH MICHAEL?

-HER MOTHER AND I.

-♪ ...IS NOW AND TILL THE END ♪

♪ WOMAN DRAWS
HER LIFE FROM MAN ♪

-I WATCHED MY FATHER
GIVE AWAY HIS ONLY GIRL...

TO A STRANGER HE HARDLY KNEW.

I SAID GOODBYE MYSELF.

-ALTHOUGH THEY ARE SEPARATE,
THEY WILL ALWAYS BE TOGETHER.

-WE ARE AS ONE.

-ONE PAIN, ONE JOY.

-ONE COMING TOGETHER
FOR ALL OUR LIVES.

-ONE DREAM OF TOMORROW.

-IT IS MORE THAN LOVE.

-IT IS LIFE.

ONE LIFE.

-ONE BEING. TOGETHER.

-♪ ...THAT YOU'VE
NEVER SEEN BEFORE ♪

-LOOKING BACK, MAYBE IT
ALL SEEMS A LITTLE SILLY.

BUT BEING THERE, IN
THOSE PASSING MOMENTS,

I SAW THAT SOMETHING REAL
AND IMPORTANT WAS HAPPENING,

NOT JUST FOR
MICHAEL AND KAREN...

BUT FOR ALL OF US...

IN OUR SMALL AND FRAGILE,

ALMOST INSIGNIFICANT
SUBURBAN FAMILY.

AFTER ALL, THOSE WERE
PASSIONATE TIMES...

WHEN CHILDREN WERE PIONEERS...

ON THE ROAD TO FIND OUT,

WHEREVER THAT ROAD
MIGHT TAKE THEM...

WHEN BROTHERS AND
SISTERS, LOOKING BACK,

WISHED THEY'D KNOWN
EACH OTHER BETTER.

-WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE?

-I DON'T KNOW.

NICE NIGHT.

-YEAH.

-WHICH WAY IS ALASKA, ANYWAY?

-THAT WAY.

I THINK.

SOUNDS LIKE A PRETTY
GOOD PLACE, HUH?

-YEAH.

-AND PARENTS, FILLED
WITH LOVE AND DESPAIR,

HELD ON TO THE PAST...

AND KEPT A QUIET
VIGIL FOR THE FUTURE.