The Wonder Years (1988–1993): Season 5, Episode 21 - Stormy Weather - full transcript

-♪ WHAT WOULD YOU DO
IF I SANG OUT OF TUNE? ♪

♪ WOULD YOU STAND UP
AND WALK OUT ON ME? ♪

♪ LEND ME YOUR EARS,
AND I'LL SING YOU A SONG ♪

♪ I WILL TRY NOT TO
SING OUT OF KEY, YEAH ♪

♪ OH, BABY, I GET BY ♪
- ♪ BY WITH A LITTLE HELP
FROM MY FRIENDS ♪

-♪ ALL I NEED IS MY BUDDIES ♪

-♪ HIGH WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪

-♪ I'M SAYIN' I'M GONNA GET HIGHER ♪ - ♪
TRY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪

- ♪ WHOA-OA-OA-OA, YEAH ♪
- ♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪

-IT ALWAYS SEEMED
THAT IN MY HOUSE,

THE MOST DRAMATIC THINGS...



HAPPENED IN THE
MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.

LIKE THE NIGHT OF
THE BIG BLIZZARD

WHEN DAD GOT STUCK
OUT ON THE HIGHWAY

AND WE THOUGHT WE'D
NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN.

OR THE NIGHT MY BROTHER

SWALLOWED A WHOLE BAG OF MARBLES

AND THREW THEM UP IN THE
CAR ON THE WAY TO THE HOSPITAL.

OR THE NIGHT MY EIGHT-LEGGED
SCIENCE PROJECT ESCAPED

AND TURNED UP IN MOM'S
NIGHTGOWN AT 3:00 A.M.

BUT NOTHING EVER CREATED
QUITE AS MUCH CONFUSION

AROUND MY HOUSE AS THE NIGHT...

MY SISTER CAME BACK HOME.

-HONEY?

-HI.



-WHAT TIME IS IT?

-KAREN, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

-I'M FINE, MOM.

-CAN I COME IN?

- OF COURSE.
- THANKS.

-LIKE I SAID,

WE WEREN'T EXACTLY
STRANGERS TO MIDNIGHT CRISES.

-HONEY, YOU'RE SOAKED.

-YEAH. I KNOW, MOM.

-HOW DID YOU GET HERE?

-UH, MY FRIEND
ROBIN GAVE ME A RIDE.

-DO YOU HAVE ANY TEA?

-WELL, YEAH.

-STILL, FOR SOME REASON,

THERE WAS SOMETHING
ABOUT THIS NIGHT

THAT WAS JUST A TAD
MORE BAFFLING THAN USUAL.

-IS THAT KAREN?

-NO, BUTTHEAD. IT'S SANTA CLAUS.

-OH.

-KAREN, WHAT HAPPENED?

-NOTHING HAPPENED. MOM,
DO WE HAVE ANY HERBAL?

-OH, HERE, HONEY. I'LL GET IT.

IT'S UP HERE.
- THANKS.

-WELL, SOMETHING
MUST HAVE HAPPENED.

I-IT'S 2:00 IN THE MORNING.

-HONEY, DID YOU AND
MICHAEL HAVE A FIGHT?

-SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

-A FIGHT? WHAT KIND OF FIGHT?

-DADDY, I REALLY DON'T
WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT, OKAY?

-DO WE HAVE ANY PRETZELS?

-WAIT A MINUTE.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU
DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT?

YOU SHOW UP
SOAKING WET, FREEZING,

IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.

-JACK, SHE'S UPSET.

-THAT'S RIGHT.

I'M GOING TO BED.

-WHAT BED?

-WHAT BED?

-THE ONE IN MY ROOM, OF COURSE.

-SHE'S TAKING MY ROOM! MOM!

-HONEY, DON'T WORRY. YOU
CAN SLEEP IN KEVIN'S ROOM.

- MOM! WAIT!
- AND THERE YOU HAD IT.

- MOM!
- CAN'T SHE SLEEP IN THE GARAGE?

-OH. NO.

-IN ONE BURST OF CONFUSION,

KAREN HAD BLOWN
BACK INTO OUR HOUSE

AND COMPLETELY
REARRANGED OUR LIVES.

-AT LEAST LET ME GET YOU
AN EXTRA BLANKET, HONEY.

-NO, MOM. I'LL... I'LL BE FINE.

-KAREN...

-LOOK, I'M TIRED, AND I'M WET,

AND I DON'T WANT TO
TALK ABOUT IT ANYMORE.

OKAY?

-AND THE WEIRD THING WAS...

-GOOD NIGHT.

- NONE OF US HAD ANY IDEA WHY.

- I DID NOT.
- YOU DID SO.

- THAT WASN'T ME.
- YES, IT WAS, TROLL.

YOU SNORE TONIGHT,
YOU LOSE YOUR TONGUE.

-ME? WHAT ABOUT YOU?

-HEY. HEY!

HEY!

KNOCK IT OFF.

-ALL IN ALL, IT WAS KIND
OF A RESTLESS NIGHT...

-MORNING!

FOR MOST OF US, ANYWAY.

-GOOD MORNING,
HONEY. HOW'D YOU SLEEP?

-GREAT.

-SO, KAREN, WHAT
HAPPENED LAST NIGHT?

-MICHAEL AND I GOT
IN AN ARGUMENT.

-AND?

-DO YOU GUYS HAVE
ANY ORANGE JUICE?

-KAREN.

-LOOK, IT'S REALLY
VERY SIMPLE...

I JUST DECIDED THINGS WEREN'T
WORKING BETWEEN ME AND MICHAEL.

SO I'M MOVING OUT.

-NOW, CONSIDERING KAREN

HAD BEEN SHACKING UP
WITH THE GUY FOR A YEAR,

THIS WAS NO SMALL NEWS.

-HONEY, DOES THIS MEAN
YOU'RE GONNA BE MOVING BACK

INTO THE COLLEGE DORMS?

-NOT EXACTLY.

AS A MATTER OF FACT, I WAS
THINKING OF MOVING BACK HERE.

- WHAT?
- HUH?

-I'M GOING OUT TO THE GARAGE.

-NEEDLESS TO SAY,

IT WAS A DECISION NOT
WITHOUT REPERCUSSIONS,

FOR ALL OF US.

WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

-I'M NOT SURE SHE
KNOWS WHAT SHE'S DOING.

-WELL, SOMEBODY
BETTER GO TALK TO HER.

-AFTER ALL, MOVING
OUT WAS ONE THING.

MOVING BACK IN
WAS QUITE ANOTHER.

-OKAY.

I'LL TALK TO HER.

-SO, WE SET OUT TO
SETTLE THE CONFUSION,

IRON OUT THE TURMOIL.

NOT THAT DAD WOULD
HAVE TO GO IT ALONE.

WE HAD A STAKE IN THIS, TOO.

KAREN?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

-DID YOU GUYS THROW OUT MY
JEFFERSON AIRPLANE POSTER?

-I'M NOT SURE.

-I JUST WANTED TO HANG
IT BACK UP ON MY WALL.

-YEAH, WELL, ABOUT THAT, KAREN.

YOU KNOW, EVERYBODY HAS
FIGHTS. THAT HAPPENS TO EVERYBODY.

-DAD, MICHAEL IS THE MOST
CHAUVINISTIC, PIGHEADED,

CLOSED-MINDED MAN I'VE EVER MET.

-UH-HUH. WE WERE
OFF TO A GREAT START.

-LISTEN, KAR, I KNOW YOU'RE
UPSET AND EVERYTHING,

BUT...

ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT
TO COME BACK HERE?

-WHY, IS THAT A PROBLEM?

-UH, NO. NO, IT'S JUST...

WHAT ABOUT COLLEGE?

I MEAN, YOU GOT
YOUR CLASSES, AND...

-DADDY, DON'T WORRY
ABOUT THAT. I'LL FIGURE IT OUT.

I MEAN, RIGHT NOW
I JUST WANT TO,

YOU KNOW, TAKE SOME
TIME, THINK THINGS OVER,

TAKE THE SUMMER TO GET
THINGS STRAIGHT, OKAY?

-WELL, THAT...
SOUNDS REASONABLE.

-TRANSLATION... WAYNE AND I
WERE CONDEMNED TO ONE ROOM.

-LOOK, DAD, THE LAST THING I
WANTED TO DO WAS TO DRAG YOU

IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS THING
BETWEEN ME AND MICHAEL.

-WELL... THAT'S OKAY.

-SO, I WAS WONDERING,

COULD YOU GO UP
THERE AND GET MY STUFF?

-AND SUDDENLY...

THE PLOT BEGAN TO THICKEN.

-HI.

- HI.
- HI.
- HI.

-IT'S US.

-WHERE'S KAREN?

-SHE, UM...

-SHE COULDN'T BE HERE.

-SHE KIND OF ASKED US TO, UH...

-WE CAME TO GET HER LOOT.

WELL, WE DID, DIDN'T WE?

-AND WITH THAT...

WE WERE THROUGH THE
GATES AND ONTO THE DECK...

OF THE TITANIC.

-OH, BROTHER.

-LOOKED KIND OF LIKE
HEARTBREAK HOTEL.

-SORRY ABOUT THE MESS.

I WASN'T EXPECTING... COMPANY.

-LOOK, WE DON'T
WANT TO PUT YOU OUT.

WE JUST WANT TO
GET KAREN'S THINGS.

-THINGS.

-YEAH.

-WELL, MOST OF HER
THINGS ARE UPSTAIRS, BUT...

-THAT'LL BE FINE. LET'S GO.

-STILL, I COULDN'T HELP
FEELING LIKE ATTILA THE HUN.

SEEMED LIKE I OWED THE GUY
SOME WORD OF CONSOLATION.

-SORRY ABOUT ALL THIS.

-YEAH.

-SO MUCH FOR CONSOLATION.
IT WAS TIME TO GET PACKING.

NOT THAT THAT WAS
GONNA BE EASY...

IN THE MIDDLE OF THE
LUCKY COUPLE'S BEDROOM.

-SO... THIS IS WERE
IT ALL HAPPENED.

-SORRY.

DIDN'T HAVE A CHANCE
TO MAKE THE BED.

-CLEARLY, THERE WAS
ONLY ONE THING TO DO...

LOAD UP AND MOVE OUT.

-SO, WHERE DO WE START?

-HOW ABOUT THIS?

-THAT'S OUR TENT.

KAREN AND I WERE SUPPOSED
TO GO TO MOUNT PINE NEXT WEEK

FOR OUR FIRST ANNIVERSARY.

-BUMMER.

MICHAEL...

YOU THINK YOU COULD
HELP US OUT WITH THIS?

-'COURSE IT WAS PRETTY CLEAR

THE GUY DIDN'T
REALLY HAVE A CHOICE.

WELL...

SHE KEEPS MOST OF
HER THINGS IN THERE.

THE TOP TWO DRAWERS.

-AND WITH THAT, WE
CROSSED THE RUBICON...

AND REACHED...

THE WALL OF UNDERWEAR.

STILL, AN HOUR LATER,

WE WERE ON OUR WAY...

-LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

- WITH KAREN'S LIFE IN BOXES.

-MR. ARNOLD, WAIT.

I CAN'T LET YOU DO THIS.

-MICHAEL, WE'RE GOING.

-FINE, THEN.

I'LL GO WITH YOU.

-UNH-UNH.

-WELL, I CAN'T JUST
LET THIS HAPPEN, CAN I?

I MEAN, JUST BECAUSE
WE HAD AN ARGUMENT

DOESN'T MEAN YOU MOVE OUT
OF SOMEONE'S LIFE, DO YOU?

- MICHAEL...
- I MEAN, YOU KNOW HOW SHE IS.

SHE'S STUBBORN AND PIGHEADED.

SHE WON'T LISTEN TO ANYBODY.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

-NOW, UNDERSTAND, MY
DAD WAS A PATIENT MAN,

A PRIVATE MAN, A GOOD MAN.

BUT HE WAS NO ANN LANDERS.

-LOOK, MICHAEL, WHAT
YOU DO IS YOUR BUSINESS.

ALL I KNOW IS I NEVER
WANTED YOU TWO

LIVING LIKE THIS
IN THE FIRST PLACE.

-AND WITH THAT, WE'D
REACHED THE BOTTOM LINE.

-YEAH, NEITHER DID I.

-WHAT DID YOU SAY?

-WELL, THAT'S WHAT
THE FIGHT WAS ABOUT.

DIDN'T SHE TELL YOU?

I WANTED TO MARRY HER.

-HI, MOM.

-HI, HONEY.

JUST IN TIME TO EAT.

-TWO HOURS LATER, WE
WERE HOME WITH THE GOODS.

-DID YOU GET ALL MY THINGS?

-YEAH, I THINK WE
GOT EVERYTHING.

-YEP... BOOKS,
RECORDS, UNDERWEAR.

PLUS A FEW THINGS THAT
MAYBE WEREN'T ON THE LIST.

-HI.

-I DON'T BELIEVE YOU.

-AND IN THE GLOW OF THAT
HEARTWARMING MOMENT,

THERE WAS ONLY ONE THING TO SAY.

-SO, WHAT'S FOR DINNER?

-AND SO WE SAT DOWN TO SUP,

THE TRADITIONAL ARNOLD
NUCLEAR FAMILY UNIT...

PLUS THE MAN WHO CAME TO DINNER.

-THE MEAT LOAF IS
DELICIOUS, MRS. ARNOLD.

-THANK YOU.

-IT WAS KIND OF LIKE HAVING A
2-TON ELEPHANT AT THE TABLE.

NOT THAT WE
COULDN'T BE HOSPITABLE

ABOUT THE WHOLE THING.

-YOU KNOW, MICHAEL, I REALLY
WASN'T EXPECTING YOU HERE.

YEAH. I GUESS NOT.

-SO, WHY ARE YOU HERE?

-I...

-SIMPLE.

DAD INVITED HIM.

-WHAT?

-NO, NORMA. I, UH,
DIDN'T INVITE HIM.

-NO, HE DIDN'T INVITE ME.

- YEAH. MOM, HE JUST...
- JACK.

-AND IT WAS TIME FOR
ANOTHER LOVEBIRD SERENADE.

-HI.

-HI.

LOOK, KAREN, WHY DON'T WE
TAKE A WALK AND TALK THIS OVER?

-THERE'S NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT.

-WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

-MICHAEL.

-KAREN, ALL I DID WAS
ASK YOU TO MARRY ME.

-WHOOPS.

-I BEG YOUR PARDON.

-NORMA, I WAS GONNA...

-FINE, MICHAEL. YOU WANT TO
TALK ABOUT IT? LET'S TALK ABOUT IT.

MARRIAGE IS AN ANTIQUATED,
MALE-CENTERED INSTITUTION.

AND I DON'T BELIEVE IN IT.

-INSTITUTION?

KAREN, THIS IS YOU AND
ME, NOT SOME BUILDING.

-FINE. YOU CAN
MAKE A JOKE OF IT.

-KAREN, I AM NOT JOKING.

-YES, YOU ARE, MICHAEL.

-WAIT. PLEASE.

-BUT IF MOM MEANT TO
UNTIE THE TANGLE HERE...

-IT SEEMS TO ME...

-LOOK, IT'S REALLY VERY SIMPLE.

I DON'T WANT TO SPEND
THE REST OF MY LIFE

MAKING MEAT LOAF
AND MASHED POTATOES.

- THE TANGLE GOT WORSE.

-KAREN, WHY DO YOU
ALWAYS HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS?

-SEE? YOU'RE ALREADY
TRYING TO CHANGE ME!

-I AM NOT!

-MICHAEL, I WANT YOU TO LEAVE.

NOW.

-FINE.

-AND THERE YOU HAD IT.

IT WAS AS IF A TORNADO HAD
BLOWN THROUGH OUR HOUSE...

AND LEFT NO SURVIVORS.

-WOULD YOU MIND
GETTING THE DISHES, JACK?

-DAD, CAN I HAVE HIS ROLL?

-MICHAEL!

-MAYBE IT WAS DUMB
I WENT OUT THERE,

BUT HE WAS A GUY I ADMIRED,

AND I DIDN'T WANT
HIM TO JUST LEAVE.

-YOU'RE NOT JUST GONNA
GO LIKE THIS, ARE YOU?

-I DON'T THINK SHE
REALLY LEFT ME A CHOICE.

-YEAH, BUT I'VE KNOWN
MY SISTER ALL MY LIFE.

SHE NEVER MEANS
ANYTHING SHE SAYS.

-WELL, NICE TRY, ANYWAY.

-I'M PRETTY SURE
SHE MEANT IT, KEVIN.

-BUT...

-I DON'T KNOW.

IT JUST SEEMED I SHOULD SAY
SOMETHING TO MAKE THIS BETTER,

SOMETHING ABOUT MEN AND WOMEN

AND HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS.

-MAYBE SHE'LL CHANGE HER MIND.

-YEAH.

WELL, THANKS FOR THE ADVICE.

-YEAH.

-SEE YA.

-FOR THE REST OF THAT DAY,
NOBODY REALLY SAID MUCH.

FOR SOME REASON, WE ALL
PRETTY MUCH KEPT TO OURSELVES.

THE FUNNY THING IS, YOU'D
THINK A MARRIAGE PROPOSAL

WOULD BRING A FAMILY TOGETHER.

BUT THIS WAS 1972.

THINGS HAD GOTTEN
VERY COMPLICATED.

-WHAT'S GOING ON?

-I DON'T KNOW.

-IT WAS KIND OF LIKE WATCHING

THE MARINES LAND AT OMAHA BEACH.

-WHAT'S THIS ALL ABOUT?

-HOW SHOULD I KNOW?

-HE'S PITCHING THAT DAMN TENT.

-MICHAEL?

MICHAEL, HAVE YOU
LOST YOUR MIND?

MICHAEL!

-BUT SOMEHOW, THE GUY
DIDN'T APPEAR IN THE MOOD

FOR CONVERSATION.

-HE'S LOST IT.

-YOU'RE TELLING ME.

-I THINK YOU BETTER
DO SOMETHING, JACK.

-ME?

HE'S NOT GONNA LISTEN TO ME.

-ALL RIGHT, THEN.

I'LL TALK TO HIM.

-NO.

I DON'T WANT ANYONE
TALKING TO HIM.

THIS IS BETWEEN MICHAEL AND ME.

-KAREN.

-MOM, I'LL HANDLE THIS.

-LEAVING ONE SMALL QUESTION.

-SO, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?

-NOTHING. I'LL JUST IGNORE HIM.

I'M GOING TO BED.

GOOD NIGHT.

-AND THERE REALLY
WASN'T A WHOLE LOT LEFT

FOR THE REST OF US TO DO.

EXCEPT, OF COURSE...

HIDE IN THE KITCHEN.

-NO, MRS. LITTON, HE'S NOT
ONE OF THOSE AGITATORS.

HE'S A... FRIEND OF THE FAMILY.

I'M SURE HE'LL BE
GONE IN THE MORNING.

YEAH. SORRY.

-THERE WE WERE,
PRISONERS IN OUR OWN HOUSE,

BUNKERED DOWN AT 3:00 A.M.

WHILE SOME MANIAC BANGED TENT
POLES INTO OUR FLOWER PATCH.

-YOU KNOW, THIS IS STUPID.

YOU KNOW THAT, DON'T YOU?

I MEAN, ARE WE JUST
GONNA SIT HERE ALL NIGHT?

WE CAN'T, RIGHT? I
MEAN, THAT'D BE IDIOTIC.

SO I THINK WE
SHOULD DO SOMETHING.

-THERE.

IT WAS A CLEAR AND
BOLD CALL FOR ACTION.

-MOM...

IS THERE ANY MORE MEAT LOAF?

-I'LL MAKE SOME COFFEE.

-THE TRUTH WAS CLEAR.

THIS PROBLEM WAS TOO BIG
FOR US TO SOLVE BY OURSELVES.

IT WAS GONNA TAKE
SOMETHING BIGGER,

SOMETHING MORE POWERFUL.

-KAREN?

-HI.

-THE THING IS, SHE LOOKED
ALMOST FRIGHTENED,

AS IF THERE WAS SOMETHING OUT
THERE THAT SCARED HER TO DEATH.

MAYBE THERE WAS.

-I THOUGHT YOU WENT BACK TO BED.

-I DID.

I JUST... I COULDN'T SLEEP.

THIS IS INSANE.

-AND WE ALL KNEW IT WAS.

I GUESS LOVE ALWAYS IS.

-HE'S JUST STANDING THERE.

WHAT IS HE DOING?

-WELL, FOR ONE THING,
HE'S GETTING PRETTY WET.

I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING, THOUGH,

ANY GUY WHO'D GO
THROUGH ALL THIS

THEN STAND OUT THERE IN THE RAIN

MUST BE REALLY CRAZY ABOUT YOU.

-DADDY, WHAT AM I
SUPPOSED TO DO?

-BUT THE FACT WAS,

WE'D DONE JUST ABOUT
EVERYTHING ANY FAMILY COULD.

FROM NOW ON,

IT WAS OUT OF OUR HANDS.

-KAREN?

IT'S FREEZING OUT THERE.

I'M GONNA BRING HIM SOME COFFEE.

-NO.

I'LL DO IT.

-LIKE I SAID,

ANYTHING REALLY IMPORTANT
THAT HAPPENED AT MY HOUSE...

HAPPENED IN THE
MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.

-YOU COLD?

-NAH.

A LITTLE.

-HERE.

-WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?

-JERK.

-IN A WAY, IT WAS A
RELIEF TO ALL OF US.

WE WEREN'T REALLY GOOD
AT THINGS LIKE ROMANCE.

WE WERE BETTER AT MARBLES

AND EIGHT-LEGGED
SCIENCE PROJECTS.

-LOOK, KAREN,

I DON'T CARE ABOUT GETTING
MARRIED AND BEING MARRIED.

I JUST WANT US TO BE TOGETHER.

-WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?

-10 DAYS LATER, KAREN
ASKED MICHAEL TO MARRY HER...

-♪ DESPERADO ♪

- AND HE ACCEPTED.

-♪ WHY DON'T YOU
COME TO YOUR SENSES? ♪

♪ COME DOWN FROM YOUR FENCES ♪

♪ OPEN THE GATE ♪

♪ IT MAY BE RAININ' ♪

♪ BUT THERE'S A
RAINBOW ABOVE YOU ♪

♪ YOU BETTER LET
SOMEBODY LOVE YOU ♪

-♪ LET SOMEBODY LOVE YOU ♪

-♪ LET SOMEBODY LOVE YOU ♪

♪ BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE ♪