The Wonder Years (1988–1993): Season 4, Episode 8 - The Sixth Man - full transcript

When Paul decides to try out for the basketball team, Kevin is convinced that he is just wasting his time. However, when he ends up making the team and his basketball skills improve, it creates a strain in their friendship.

-♪ WHAT WOULD YOU DO
IF I SANG OUT OF TUNE? ♪

♪ WOULD YOU STAND UP
AND WALK OUT ON ME? ♪

♪ LEND ME YOUR EARS,
AND I'LL SING YOU A SONG ♪

♪ I WILL TRY NOT TO
SING OUT OF KEY, YEAH ♪

♪ OH, BABY, I GET BY ♪
- ♪ BY WITH A LITTLE HELP
FROM MY FRIENDS ♪

-♪ ALL I NEED IS MY BUDDIES ♪

-♪ HIGH WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪

-♪ I'M SAYIN' I'M GONNA GET HIGHER ♪ - ♪
TRY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪

-♪ WHOA-OA-OA-OA ♪

-♪ OH, OH, OH, OH ♪

-♪ SOMEBODY WHO
KNOWS QUITE SURE ♪



♪ BABY ♪

-♪ BY WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪

-♪ SAID I'M GONNA MAKE
IT WITH MY FRIENDS ♪

-♪ TRY WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪

-♪ OH, I'M GONNA
KEEP ON TRYING ♪

-♪ HIGH WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪

♪ I'M GONNA KEEP ON
TRYING NOW, BABY ♪

-♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪

[BAT CRACKS]

-AND THERE IT IS!

DiMAGGIO HAS HIT IN
56 STRAIGHT GAMES!

-THERE ARE A LOT OF
GREAT RECORDS IN SPORTS.

ROCKY MARCIANO FOUGHT TO VICTORY

IN 49 STRAIGHT
HEAVYWEIGHT PRIZEFIGHTS.



THE UNIVERSITY OF OKLAHOMA

WON 47 COLLEGE
FOOTBALL GAMES IN A ROW.

-SCORE!

-BUT IN THE ANNALS OF SPORTS,

THERE WAS ONE RECORD
THAT SURPASSED THEM ALL,

ONE DESTINED TO GO
UNBROKEN FOR TIME IMMEMORIAL.

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

-ARNOLD WINS! THE
CROWD'S GOING WILD!

[IMITATES CROWD CHEERING]

I HAD BEATEN PAUL
PFEIFFER AT BASKETBALL,

AS NEAR AS I CAN
REMEMBER, 788 TIMES IN A ROW,

GIVE OR TAKE A HUNDRED.

-WANT TO PLAY AGAIN?

-SURE. LOSER'S OUT.

IT WAS A STREAK THAT WENT

ALL THE WAY BACK
TO KINDERGARTEN,

MAYBE EVEN BEFORE.
- BRAND-NEW GAME.

HONDO'S BRINGING
THE BALL UP COURT.

HE'S LOOKING GOOD, FOLKS.

HE GOES LEFT. HE GOES RIGHT.

HE GOES LEFT!

-NOT THAT I WAS SOME
KIND OF ALL-AMERICAN.

IT'S JUST... I WAS ME.

WHEREAS PAUL...
PAUL WAS... PAUL.

1-ZIP.

-OKAY, NO MORE MR. NICE GUY.

- REALLY?
- COUNT ON IT.

-BUT WE BOTH KNEW BETTER.

WE KNEW SOME
THINGS NEVER CHANGE.

AND IN BASKETBALL...

STEAL!

AS IN OUR FRIENDSHIP...

JUMPER FROM THE
CORNER. I CALLED THE SHOTS.

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

-MEN.

LET'S TALK ABOUT...

OPPORTUNITY.

THE OPPORTUNITY...

[CHALKBOARD CREAKING]

TO BE PART OF SOMETHING BIG...

REALLY BIG...

BIGGER THAN ALL OF US.

GENTLEMEN...

BASKETBALL TRYOUTS
BEGIN THIS AFTERNOON.

[ALL GROAN SOFTLY]

WHO'D LIKE TO PLAY?

[ALL GROANING]

-NOW, ORDINARILY, THE
CHANCE TO PLAY VARSITY BALL

IS SOMETHING ANY
KID WOULD JUMP AT...

-HANDS!

- IN ANY OTHER SCHOOL...

-ANYONE.

- IN ANY OTHER TOWN...

FOR ANY OTHER COACH.

HE MUST BE DREAMING.

-YEAH, NO WAY I'M
PLAYING FOR THAT JOKER.

-KISLING.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

-[GROANS]

-BUT IN THE WORLD
ACCORDING TO ED CUTLIP,

VOLUNTEERS WEREN'T BORN.

-WHAT ABOUT YOU, HILL?

-THEY WERE MADE.

-MARTINSON.

[CHALK SQUEAKING]

STEELE.

-MADE YOU WONDER IF THIS IS
HOW THEY PICK TEAMS IN RUSSIA.

-WHO ELSE?

-What are you doing?

-Shh!

-CALL IT WISDOM.
CALL IT COWARDICE.

ALL I KNEW WAS, I WAS
GONNA DODGE THIS BULLET.

-PFEIFFER.

-UNFORTUNATELY,
THE BULLET HIT PAUL.

-ME?

WHY ME?

-I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE HE
THOUGHT YOU WERE SOMEONE ELSE.

-HUH?

-POOR GUY. HE'D BECOME
A VICTIM OF THE SYSTEM.

BUT DON'T WORRY.

THERE'S GOT TO BE SOME WAY
WE CAN GET YOU OUT OF THIS.

-AH. MEN.

-UH... HI, COACH.

-SO, PFEIFFER, SEE YOU AT
TRYOUTS THIS AFTERNOON?

HMM?

-OKAY, IT WAS CLEAR
THIS KID NEEDED HELP.

UH... HE CAN'T MAKE IT.

HE'S BUSY WITH...

UH, BASSOON LESSONS
AFTER SCHOOL.

-HUH?

-HMM. DIDN'T KNOW YOU
WERE A BASSOON MAN.

-I'M NOT.

I'LL BE THERE, COACH.

-ATTA FELLA.

-PAUL, WHY'D YOU DO THAT?

-WELL, I DON'T
KNOW. HE ASKED ME.

-[SCOFFS] COME ON,
PAUL... GET SERIOUS.

-WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?

-MAN, YOU DON'T ACTUALLY WANT
TO GO TO THOSE TRYOUTS, DO YOU?

[SIGHS] TRUST ME. YOU
DON'T WANT TO DO THIS.

I MEAN, LET'S FACE IT, THE
WHOLE IDEA'S A JOKE, RIGHT?

-[SIGHS]

MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.

MAYBE IT'S STUPID.

-'COURSE IT WAS STUPID.

PAUL PFEIFFER ON
A BASKETBALL TEAM

WAS LIKE BARNEY FIFE
WORKING FOR THE FBI.

-♪ COME ON, EVERYONE, WE
GOT TO GET TOGETHER NOW ♪

-YEAH, IT WAS REALLY FUN.

-I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]

-HI, PAUL.

-HI, GUYS.

-PAUL, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

-I... I WAS...

I WAS DOING SOMETHING.

-UH-HUH.

LIKE TRYING OUT FOR
THE BASKETBALL TEAM?

-WELL... YEAH.

-REALLY? HOW'D IT GO?

-AS IF WE COULDN'T
GUESS. CRASH AND BURN.

-I THINK IT WENT PRETTY WELL.

AT LEAST, COACH
CUTLIP THOUGHT SO.

-YOU'RE KIDDING.

-WELL, I MEAN, I HAVEN'T MADE
THE TEAM YET OR ANYTHING,

BUT... SO FAR, SO GOOD.

-WELL, I THINK THAT'S GREAT.

I'M SO PROUD OF YOU. AREN'T
YOU PROUD OF HIM, KEVIN?

-UH... SURE.

-OF COURSE I WAS PROUD OF
HIM. THAT WENT WITHOUT SAYING.

I WAS PROUD ENOUGH TO SAY...

PAUL? HOW ABOUT GETTING
US ANOTHER PITCHER OF SODA?

-YOU GOT IT! THIS ONE'S ON ME.

HEY, WOODY, COULD YOU
FILL THAT UP FOR ME? THANKS.

-GOOD OLD PAUL.

-YEAH.

BUT, SUDDENLY,
"PAUL WAS PAUL"...

- HI, PAUL.
- HI. NICE TO MEET YOU.

- WASN'T QUITE PAUL.

SOMETHING WAS DIFFERENT.

SOMETHING WAS... WRONG.

COME ON, LET'S PLAY.

-NOW?

-YEAH. WHY NOT?

-I THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA
STUDY AMERICAN HISTORY.

-THE WAR OF 1812 WAS
FOUGHT IN, UH, 1812.

THERE, WE STUDIED. OKAY?

ACTUALLY, AS IT HAPPENS,
IT WAS FOUGHT IN...

YOUR BALL OUT.

-[SIGHS] OKAY.

-'COURSE, I WAS ONLY
LOOKING FOR A FRIENDLY GAME...

AND MAYBE A FEW ANSWERS.

SO, HOW COME YOU DIDN'T TELL ME

YOU WERE TRYING
OUT FOR THE TEAM?

-WELL, I DID... KIND OF.

-YEAH, BUT THEN I
THOUGHT WE AGREED

THAT IT WAS A BAD
IDEA, DIDN'T WE?

YOU KNOW, THAT WHOLE
THING ABOUT CUTLIP AND...

-HEY, HE'S NOT SO BAD.

-WHAT?

-WELL, HE ISN'T... REALLY.

-WHAT WAS THIS? HERESY?

-I JUST THOUGHT I'D,
YOU KNOW, GIVE IT A TRY.

-PAUL, YOU DON'T THINK

YOU'RE ACTUALLY GONNA
MAKE THE TEAM, DO YOU?

- WELL...
- I MEAN, COME ON,
IT'S RIDICULOUS.

YOU CAN'T EVEN
BEAT ME. YOU KNOW?

[SCOFFS]

-I-I DON'T KNOW, KEV.

I JUST THOUGHT
MAYBE I'D GIVE IT A SH...

-1-NOTHING.

SO WE PLAYED.

AND FOR THE FIRST TIME
EVER, PAUL DIDN'T DO

A RUNNING COMMENTARY
ON THE ACTION.

YES!

TO THIS DAY, I DON'T
KNOW IF I WAS REALLY HOT

OR IF PAUL WAS REALLY COLD.

BUT WHAT I DID KNOW WAS...

I WAS TEACHING PAUL A LESSON.

-OW! FOUL!

-A LESSON HE'D NEVER FORGET.

-HEY!

-AND IT WAS FOR HIS OWN GOOD.

SWISH! [SIGHS]

21-3. END OF GAME... I WIN.

FOR THE RECORD...
WIN NUMBER 790.

SO, WANT TO GO AGAIN?

[DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE]

GO AHEAD.

FREE SHOT.

YOU KNOW, PEOPLE JUST
DON'T ALWAYS APPRECIATE

THE NICE THINGS YOU
TRY TO DO FOR THEM.

THE DAY AFTER
VICTORY NUMBER 790,

THINGS WERE A LITTLE TOUCHY.

HEY.

BUT I DIDN'T AVOID PAUL.

-HEY.

-AND HE DIDN'T AVOID ME, EITHER.

WE WERE JUST... NONCHALANT.

I WAS NONCHALANT.

HEY.

HE WAS NONCHALANT.

-HEY.

-IT WAS KIND OF LIKE THE
NONCHALANT CHALLENGE.

BUT BY THE END OF
THE DAY, IT WAS CLEAR.

SOMEBODY HAD TO BREAK THE ICE.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

-OH, NOTHING.

-SO, DO YOU WANT TO COME OVER
TO MY HOUSE AFTER SCHOOL TODAY?

-CAN'T.

-OBVIOUSLY A BALD-FACED LIE.

WELL, YOU KNOW, I COULD
REALLY USE YOUR HELP

STUDYING FOR HISTORY.

I MEAN, THAT STUFF'S
REALLY TOUGH, YOU KNOW?

AND BESIDES,

"MISSION:
IMPOSSIBLE'S" ON AT 4...

-THANKS, BUT... I GOT
SOMETHING I GOT TO DO.

-LIKE WHAT?

-BASKETBALL TRYOUTS.

-WHAT?

I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT.

I'D EXPLAINED TO
HIM, ARGUED WITH HIM,

AND THE KID STILL
WOULDN'T LISTEN TO REASON.

-SEE YA.

-AND THAT SETTLED THAT.

IF PAUL INSISTED ON BEING
SOMETHING HE WASN'T...

I HAD ONLY ONE OPTION LEFT.

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

-MILLMAN! LET'S SHOW
A LITTLE HUSTLE, HUH?!

SHAKE A LEG!

-IT WAS TIME TO APPEAL
TO A HIGHER POWER...

TO USE THE TERM LOOSELY.

-THOMPSON!

YOU WANT A TEA
PARTY, GO TO BOSTON!

[CHUCKLES]

-MR. CUTLIP?

-ARNOLD.

-I WAS WONDERING IF WE
COULD TALK FOR A SECOND.

SEE... IT'S ABOUT PAUL.

PAUL PFEIFFER?

-AH. PFEIFFER.

HE'S NOT IN ANY KIND
OF TROUBLE, IS HE?

DRUGS? THEFT? ARMED ROBBERY?

-UH...

-GOOD. GLAD TO HEAR IT.

-AND... SO MUCH FOR SMALL TALK.

IT'S JUST, I'M HIS BEST FRIEND,

AND, UH... HE ACTUALLY THINKS
YOU MIGHT PUT HIM ON THE TEAM.

[SNICKERS]

-OH, HE DOES, DOES HE?

-YEAH.

AND...

FRANKLY...

I THINK YOU MIGHT
BE LEADING HIM ON.

-THAT SO?

-WELL, YEAH.

I MEAN, I'VE PLAYED TONS OF
B-BALL WITH HIM IN MY BACKYARD,

SO, YEAH, I SHOULD KNOW.

I BEAT HIM EVERY TIME.

YOU KNOW?

'COURSE, IN SOME WAY,

I KNEW I WAS BETRAYING
MY BEST FRIEND,

BUT FACTS WERE FACTS.

-THIS ISN'T YOUR BACKYARD, SON.

-HUH?

-PFEIFFER... LOOK AT HIM.

-SO I LOOKED AT PAUL.

HE STILL LOOKED LIKE
THE GUY I'D BEATEN

790 TIMES IN A ROW.

THE ONLY THING IS...

HE DIDN'T PLAY LIKE HIM.

-YEAH!

[CLAPPING]

-LOOKING SHARP THERE, PFEIFFER!

-IT WAS ASTONISHING.

THIS WAS THE MAN WHO'D
LAUNCHED A MILLION AIR BALLS

IN MY BACKYARD?

I FELT LIKE I WAS WATCHING
A TOTAL STRANGER,

SOME KID I'D NEVER EVEN MET.

-YEAH!

-SO, I DID THE ONLY
THING I COULD THINK OF.

ATTABOY, PAUL! WAY TO GO!

AND THERE YOU HAD IT.

ONE WORD FROM ME,

AND, SUDDENLY,
PAUL WAS PAUL AGAIN.

[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]

-AIR BALL!

-UGH!

-COME ON, PFEIFFER!
YOU'RE PLAYING LIKE A GIRL!

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

PANKUS! GET IN
THERE FOR PFEIFFER!

ALL RIGHT, LET'S
HUSTLE IT UP, NOW!

HILL!

-AFTER THAT, THERE DIDN'T
SEEM TO BE MUCH REASON

TO STICK AROUND ANY LONGER.

I MEAN, HEY...

-MARTINSON, THE
GAME IS BASKETBALL!

LOOK IT UP IN A DICTIONARY,
WILL YOU? COME ON!

-DIDN'T WANT TO EMBARRASS
THE GUY OR ANYTHING.

I TRIED TO STUDY FOR MY
AMERICAN HISTORY TEST

THAT EVENING,

BUT SOMEHOW, I JUST
COULDN'T CONCENTRATE.

MAYBE THERE WAS A REASON.

-BUTTHEAD AT 3:00.
LAUNCH MISSILE.

-WAYNE, KNOCK IT OFF, WILL
YOU?! I'M TRYING TO STUDY!

WAYNE!

-WHAT'S THE MATTER,
LITTLE BROTHER?

YOU SEEM... TROUBLED.

YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT?

-NO.

-I UNDERSTAND.

SOME THINGS... JUST
TOO DEEP FOR WORDS.

-AND EVEN THOUGH I KNEW I
SHOULD LET THE MATTER DROP...

WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?

-YOU THINK I'M
MADE OUT OF STONE?

HEY, I LIVE AROUND HERE.

I SEE THINGS.

IT'S PAUL, ISN'T IT?

I MEAN, YOU CARRY THE GUY
ON YOUR BACK FOR 14 YEARS,

AND NOW HE DOESN'T
NEED YOU ANYMORE.

UNGRATEFUL TWERP.

BUT, UH, DON'T... DON'T
LET IT GET TO YOU.

I MEAN, THE GUY'S ALWAYS
BEEN A LOSER, RIGHT?

-IT WAS... HORRIBLE.

IN ONE FELL SWOOP, MY
NEANDERTHAL BROTHER

HAD LOOKED INTO MY
INNERMOST FEELINGS,

AND IT WASN'T A PRETTY SIGHT.

-HE'S NOT A LOSER, WAYNE.

-SURE HE IS.

YOU KNOW IT, AND I KNOW IT.

IF HE WALKS LIKE A DUCK...

IF HE TALKS LIKE A DUCK...

THEN IT MUST BE THE PFEIFFSTER.

[CHUCKLES]

-BUT, SUDDENLY, I
KNEW IT WASN'T TRUE...

NOT ANYMORE.

AND AT THAT MOMENT, I
KNEW WHAT I HAD TO DO.

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

UGH! WAYNE! THINK ABOUT IT!

-[GRUNTING]

[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

-WHEN YOU'RE 14,
BRUISES HEAL QUICKLY...

SOME OF THEM, ANYWAY.

BUT THAT NIGHT, I
FELT A KIND OF HURT

I KNEW WASN'T GONNA
JUST DISAPPEAR...

NOT BY ITSELF.

-I WANT A GAME.

- WHAT?
- YOU HEARD ME.

I WANT A GAME.

-WHY? SO I CAN BEAT
YOU ONE MORE TIME?

-WHO SAYS YOU'RE GONNA BEAT ME?

-PAUL, I BEAT YOU EVERY TIME.

-YEAH. WELL, MAYBE
NOT THIS TIME.

-[SIGHS] FORGET IT.

I DON'T REALLY FEEL
LIKE LETTING YOU WIN.

-I WANT A GAME.

-[SIGHS] PAUL, COME ON.

I'VE BEEN CREAMING YOU
FOR THE PAST 14 YEARS!

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK IT'S
EVER GONNA BE ANY DIFFERENT?

-BECAUSE!

-BECAUSE WHAT?

-BECAUSE THINGS CHANGE, KEV.

I'VE CHANGED.

-[SIGHS]

NOT TO ME.

-I KNOW.

[DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE]

-PROVE IT.

LOSER'S OUT.

-1-ZIP.

-1 UP.

THAT NIGHT, PAUL
PFEIFFER AND I PLAYED

THE MOST IMPORTANT
GAME OF OUR LIVES.

AH!

-UGH.

8-6... MINE.

-WE BOTH PLAYED HARD,
AND WE BOTH PLAYED TO WIN.

AND NO GAME EVER MATTERED
MORE... TO BOTH OF US.

11-10... MINE.

MAYBE CHANGE IS NEVER EASY.

YOU FIGHT TO HOLD ON.

YOU FIGHT TO LET GO.

BUT THAT NIGHT,

AFTER 790 CONSECUTIVE LOSSES...

PAUL FINALLY BEAT ME.

[CROWD CHEERING]

PAUL MADE THE
BASKETBALL TEAM THAT YEAR.

[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]

AND HE HAD SOME LOYAL FANS.

BUT HIS BIGGEST FAN...

-COME ON, PAUL!

- WAS ALSO HIS BEST FRIEND.

[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]

[WHISTLE BLOWING]

[CROWD CHEERING]

I GUESS SOMETIMES YOU
HAVE TO GROW APART...

TO KEEP GROWING TOGETHER.