The Wonder Years (1988–1993): Season 4, Episode 2 - Ninth Grade Man - full transcript
On his first day of the ninth grade, Kevin is bullied out of his locker, humiliated by Becky Slater, scheduled for the wrong class, and meets a new girl who diverts his attention away from thinking of Winnie Cooper who is now at a different school.
-♪ WHAT WOULD YOU DO
IF I SANG OUT OF TUNE? ♪
♪ WOULD YOU STAND UP
AND WALK OUT ON ME? ♪
♪ LEND ME YOUR EARS,
AND I'LL SING YOU A SONG ♪
♪ I WILL TRY NOT TO
SING OUT OF KEY, YEAH ♪
♪ OH, BABY, I GET BY ♪
- ♪ BY WITH A LITTLE HELP
FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
-♪ ALL I NEED IS MY BUDDIES ♪
-♪ HIGH WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
-♪ I'M SAYIN' I'M GONNA GET HIGHER ♪ - ♪
TRY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
-♪ WHOA-OA-OA-OA ♪
-♪ OH, OH, OH, OH ♪
-♪ SOMEBODY WHO
KNOWS QUITE SURE ♪
♪ BABY ♪
-♪ BY WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
-♪ SAID I'M GONNA MAKE
IT WITH MY FRIENDS ♪
-♪ TRY WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
-♪ OH, I'M GONNA
KEEP ON TRYING ♪
-♪ HIGH WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
♪ I'M GONNA KEEP ON
TRYING NOW, BABY ♪
-♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪
-ONCE UPON A TIME
LIFE WAS SIMPLE,
EVOLUTIONARILY SPEAKING.
THEN...
THINGS BEGAN TO CHANGE.
THE COMPETITION GOT TOUGHER.
THERE WERE WINNERS...
AND LOSERS.
THE STRUGGLE CONTINUED.
THEN IN THE FALL OF 1970, A
NEW CREATURE APPEARED,
THE LIKES OF WHICH HAD
NEVER BEEN SEEN BEFORE.
[STRAUSS' "THUS SPOKE ZARATHUSTRA"
PLAYS] NOBLE, UPRIGHT, VIRTUOUS...
9th-GRADE MAN...
MASTER OF ALL HE SURVEYED.
WHICH IN THIS CASE
WAS WOODY'S PIZZA BARN,
WHERE THE ELITE WENT TO MEET.
YEP, BY THE LAST WEEK OF SUMMER,
I WAS FEELING PRETTY
GOOD ABOUT MYSELF.
LIFE SEEMED FULL OF PROMISE,
FULL OF HOPE,
FULL OF...
-PATCHY DRY SPOTS.
I'M GETTING PATCHY DRY SPOTS.
-RELAX, PAUL.
YOU'RE JUST HAVING
BACK-TO-SCHOOL JITTERS.
BY TOMORROW, YOU'LL BE FINE.
-SURE.
ONLY...
WHAT IF SOMETHING GOES WRONG?
WHAT IF I WEAR THE
WRONG CLOTHES?
WHAT IF I FORGET...
-PAUL!
-I GOTTA GO PUT
ON SOME OINTMENT.
-OKAY, SO NOT EVERYONE
SHARED MY SENSE OF WELL-BEING.
THAT WAS UNDERSTANDABLE.
NOT EVERYONE HAD A
STEADY GIRL LIKE MINE...
WINNIE COOPER.
SO LONG AS WE HAD EACH
OTHER, WE HAD NOTHING TO FEAR.
-I'M SCARED.
-WHAT?
-WELL, I AM.
-WINNIE, STOP WORRYING.
EVERYBODY'S GONNA LIKE YA.
-THAT'S EASY FOR YOU TO SAY.
YOU'RE NOT STARTING
IN A NEW SCHOOL.
ALL THE STRANGE CLASSROOMS.
THE STRANGE PEOPLE.
AND YOU'LL BE SO FAR AWAY.
YOU WON'T FORGET
ABOUT ME, WILL YOU?
-WHAT?!
-WILL YOU THINK ABOUT ME?
-OF COURSE I'LL THINK ABOUT YOU.
-THINK ABOUT ME EVERY
HOUR, ON THE HOUR.
AND I'LL THINK ABOUT YOU.
-WINNIE...
-PROMISE? EVERY HOUR?
-[SIGHS] I PROMISE.
-SURE. I'D PROMISE
HER THE WORLD.
WHY NOT? I WAS 9th-GRADE MAN.
AND I WAS READY... FOR ANYTHING.
-THIS IS MINE.
-MAKE THAT ALMOST ANYTHING.
-TONY?
-BARBELLA?
-WELCOME BACK.
-I thought he graduated.
-I GRADUATE EVERY YEAR.
-OH.
-AND THIS IS MY LOCKER.
-GREAT.
THREE MINUTES INTO THE NEW YEAR,
AND THE FIRST FACE I SEE
BELONGS ON THE WALL
AT THE POST OFFICE.
STILL, I COULD HANDLE THIS.
-NO. I-I-I DON'T THINK SO, TONY.
SEE, THAT'S YOUR LOCKER.
OVER THERE.
REMEMBER?
-OH. YEAH.
-YEAH.
-THERE. SIMPLE
REASONING. SOLID LOGIC.
-SO, I GUESS I GOT TWO NOW, HUH?
LUCKY ME.
-YEAH, BUT...
-DO YOU THINK YOU
COULD DEAL WITH THAT?
BECAUSE IF YOU CAN'T,
I'M GONNA HAVE TO
TAKE YOUR THUMB
AND BEND IT BACK TO YOUR ELBOW.
-SEEMED TONY HAD
A LOGIC OF HIS OWN.
-HELP YOURSELF.
-AFTER ALL, NO SENSE LETTING
ONE GORILLA RUIN MY WHOLE DAY.
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
I HAD PLACES TO
GO, THINGS TO DO,
LOCKERS TO FIND...
PEOPLE TO MEET.
-THIS IS MY LOCKER.
-BECKY! HI!
-BECKY SLATER...
ONCE MY NEMESIS,
BUT NOW JUST A GOOD FRIEND.
-I HATE YOU, KEVIN!
-WHAT? WHY?
-AS IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW.
- BUT...
- DON'T PLAY DUMB WITH ME, KEVIN.
YOU INTRODUCED US.
-AND THAT ANSWERED THAT.
WITH JUST ONE LITTLE QUESTION...
-WHAT'S SHE TALKING ABOUT?
-CRAIG HOBSON.
DIDN'T YOU HEAR?
HE DUMPED HER.
THEN HE LEFT FOR
MILITARY SCHOOL.
[LOCKER SLAMS]
-THIS IS YOUR FAULT!
BUT I DON'T GET MAD.
I GET EVEN!
-KIND A LIKE HAVING YOUR OWN
PERSONAL WELCOME WAGON
WAITING AT THE DOOR.
-I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE FLAG
OF THE UNITED
STATES OF AMERICA...
-OKAY, SO THINGS WERE
STARTING OFF A LITTLE BUMPY.
I WASN'T WORRIED.
I HAD MORE IMPORTANT
THINGS TO DO...
- ONE NATION UNDER GOD...
- LIKE THINK ABOUT WINNIE.
- WITH LIBERTY AND
JUSTICE FOR ALL.
-YEP, IN TWO MINUTES,
SHE'D BE THINKING ABOUT ME.
POOR KID, ALL ALONE
AT A NEW SCHOOL.
I CAN ONLY HOPE SOMEONE
WOULD BE NICE ENOUGH TO SAY...
[CHIMES TINKLE]
HUH-UH-UH...
UH-HUH-HUH...
HUH-UNNNNH!
[PENCIL RATTLES]
GULP!
-EXCUSE ME.
YOU, UH...
D-DROPPED THIS.
AND I... UH,
UM...
UH, PICK... PICKED IT UP.
FOR YOU.
-THANK YOU.
-K-KEVIN.
[ELECTRICITY BUZZES]
-FACT... LEAD
CONDUCTS ELECTRICITY.
[BUZZING CONTINUES]
-I WONDER IF YOU COULD HELP ME.
IS THIS CLASS ON THE
OTHER SIDE OF THE QUAD?
-UH...
Y-YEAH.
YEAH... YEAH, JUST...
DOWN AND TO THE LEFT.
-THANK YOU.
-YOU BET.
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
[INDISTINCT TALKING]
DARN IT!
-OKAY, SO I DROPPED THE BALL.
JUST BEING HOSPITABLE.
WINNIE WOULD UNDERSTAND.
-I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS!
-HUH?
-MY SCHEDULE!
LOOK WHAT THEY GAVE ME.
CHEMISTRY!
-SO, WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?
-ARE YOU KIDDING?
YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS
WHEN I GET NEAR CHEMICALS.
I'M ALLERGIC TO SOAP!
-[SIGHS] PAUL...
-I KNEW THIS YEAR WAS
GONNA BE A DISASTER.
WELL, WHAT'D YOU GET?
-UH, LET ME SEE.
-I BET YOU GOT SOMETHING NEAT,
LIKE ASTRONOMY, OR PHYSICS!
-SURE, SOMETHING
NEAT, LIKE, SAY...
[POWER SAW BUZZING]
INDUSTRIAL ARTS?
SHOP?!
[HAMMERING]
IT WAS ENCOURAGING TO
KNOW THE BOARD OF EDUCATION
HAD SUCH CONFIDENCE IN
MY INTELLECTUAL PROWESS.
-HEY.
HEY, DON'T STAND
NEXT TO THAT MACHINE.
-WHAT?
WHY?
-THAT BABY ATE RAY
SPIKE'S INDEX FINGER.
IT'S KIND OF A SHRINE.
YOU'RE NEW HERE, AREN'T YA?
-YEAH. BUT IT'S A MISTAKE.
-[CHUCKLES] THAT'S
WHAT THEY ALL SAY.
-NO. REALLY.
SEE, THERE'S BEEN A
MISTAKE ON MY SCHEDULE.
-IF IT HAD BEEN A BLUEPRINT,
THIS KID MIGHT HAVE
BEEN ABLE TO READ IT.
BUT SINCE IT WAS IN ENGLISH,
IT WAS PRETTY OBVIOUS
HE DIDN'T HAVE A CLUE.
-IS THERE A TEACHER HERE?
-AH, YEAH, NESTOR.
BUT, UH, YOU DON'T
WANT TO TALK TO NESTOR.
-OF COURSE I DID.
AFTER ALL, HE WAS A TEACHER,
AN EMPLOYEE OF THE
PUBLIC-SCHOOL SYSTEM.
-WHERE IS HE?
-OVER THERE.
-ALL RIGHT! LET'S GO!
I GOT IT.
[STUDENTS CHEERING]
IT'S UP.
[GRUNTS]
IT'S CLEAR!
[GRUNTS]
[STUDENTS CHEERING]
ALL RIGHT, BULLETHEADS.
GET BACK TO IT.
-UH, MR. NESTOR?
-YO!
-HI. I'M KEVIN ARNOLD.
- THAT SO?
- YEAH.
I WAS WONDERING IF I COULD
SPEAK TO YOU ABOUT MY SCHEDULE?
-SCHEDULE? HUH?
[CLATTER]
- UH...
YES, SIR. ABOUT THIS CLASS?!
-THIS CLASS? HUH?
-WELL, I THINK POSSIBLY
THERE'S BEEN A MISTAKE!
-MISTAKE?! HUH?!
-OKAY. SO FAR, SO GOOD...
SO FAR AS I COULD TELL.
-YEAH. WELL...
THE FACT IS, I'M NOT VERY
GOOD IN INDUSTRIAL ARTS!
I THINK I'D BE BETTER
AT SOMETHING LIKE, UH,
CHEMISTRY, OR, UH...
-MASHA!
YOUR EYES!
WATCH YOUR EYES!
BULLETHEAD.
OH, WHERE WERE WE?
-WELL, AS SILLY AS IT SOUNDS,
UH, I THINK THEY'VE
GOT THE WRONG ARNOLD.
-WRONG ARNOLD?
HUH?!
-UH, RIGHT.
SO...
-FERBER, NO, NO.
NOT THE SCREWDRIVER. THE CHISEL.
IDIOT.
SO YOU WANT OUT? IS THAT IT?
-KINDA.
I MEAN, IF THAT'D BE
ALL RIGHT WITH YOU.
-OKAY.
I'LL LET YOU OUT.
- [SIGHS]
- THERE. FINALLY!
-THERE'S ONLY ONE THING, THOUGH.
YOU GOTTA ARM-WRESTLE ME FOR IT.
-UH-HUH.
THINGS WERE STARTING
OFF WITH A BANG.
AND IT WASN'T EVEN LUNCH YET.
IF MISERY LOVES COMPANY...
-I TELL YOU, KEV, THIS IS GREAT!
- I WAS HANGING OUT
WITH THE WRONG GUY.
-CHEMISTRY IS SUCH A
FASCINATING SCIENCE.
THE WONDER OF WATER.
THE MYSTERY OF FIRE.
-UH-HUH.
NOT TO MENTION THE
REMAINS OF RAY SPIKE'S FINGER.
-IF FACT, EVEN THAT
SEEMINGLY ORDINARY FISH STICK
IS IN REALITY A MIRACULOUS
LATTICEWORK OF...
-PAUL.
-HUH?
-WILL YOU CUT IT OUT?
I'M TRYING TO EAT HERE!
-WELL, SORRY.
-[SIGHS]
I NEED A LOCKER.
-WELL, THERE'S GOT TO BE
AN EMPTY ONE SOMEWHERE.
-I KNOW.
MAYBE I COULD SHARE YOURS.
-MINE?
-YEAH, SURE. WHY NOT?
-WELL, I-I GUESS I CAN
MAKE SOME ROOM...
-GREAT.
- IN THE BACK, IN THE CORNER.
EXACTLY HOW LONG ARE
YOU GONNA BE STAYING?
-[SIGHS] NEVER MIND.
-COME ON, KEV.
I-IT'S NOT SO BAD.
THINGS WILL WORK OUT.
-YEAH, THAT'S EASY
FOR YOU TO SAY.
-STILL, MAYBE PAUL HAD A POINT.
THE DAY WAS ONLY HALF OVER.
MAYBE IT WAS JUST A MATTER
OF SEEING THE GLASS HALF FULL...
OR HALF EMPTY.
OR COMPLETELY EMPTY.
-I HATE MEN.
-RéPéTEZ APRèS MOI!
BONJOUR, LA CLASSE!
-BONJOUR, MADAME.
-BONJOUR, LA CLASSE.
-BONJOUR, MADAME.
-NOW, HERE WAS
SOMETHING HOPEFUL.
SHOP WAS FOREIGN TO ME.
FRENCH WAS SIMPLY A
LANGUAGE I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND.
-BONJOUR, MADAME.
-CLASS, THIS YEAR WE'RE
GOING TO TRY SOMETHING NEW.
FROM NOW ON, WE'RE ONLY
GOING TO SPEAK EN FRANçAIS.
C'EST BIEN?
[SCATTERED GROANS]
ALL RIGHT. WHO WOULD
LIKE TO GO FIRST?
GUILLAUME.
COMMENT ALLEZ-VOUS AUJOURD'HUI?
-FRèRE JACQUES?
[LAUGHTER]
-[CHUCKLES]
-UH-HUH. THINGS WERE
GETTING BACK TO NORMAL.
AND I WASN'T GONNA MISS
MY 1:00 "THINK ABOUT
WINNIE" PROMISE.
-MADEMOISELLE.
DITES-MOI VOTRE
NOM, S'IL VOUS PLAîT.
-JE M'APPELLE MADELEINE.
-C'EST EXCELLENT, MADEMOISELLE.
-MERCI BEAUCOUP.
-[SPEAKING FRENCH]
-[SPEAKING FRENCH]
-AND SUDDENLY I UNDERSTOOD
WHY FRENCH WAS THE
LANGUAGE OF DIPLOMACY,
OF POETRY, OF ROMANCE, OF...
AMORE!
SUDDENLY I UNDERSTOOD
EVERY SINGLE WORD.
-[SPEAKING FRENCH]
-[SPEAKING FRENCH]
-HEY, IT WAS THE ONLY
THING I KNEW IN FRENCH.
-KEVIN.
-MADELINE.
-KEVIN!
[CHILDREN SNICKERING]
EN FRANçAIS, S'IL VOUS PLAîT!
[LAUGHTER]
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
-DARN IT!
THIS MUCH WAS CLEAR...
IN ANY LANGUAGE...
I NEEDED HELP.
I HAD TO TAKE ACTION,
SEEK ANSWERS.
-COME IN.
-YEP, THIS IS WHAT I NEEDED...
A MAN OF WISDOM,
A MAN OF VISION,
A MAN...
WHO TAUGHT GYM.
-AH, ARNOLD.
-MR. CUTLIP?
-WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?
-I, UH...
I CAME TO SEE THE
GUIDANCE COUNSELOR.
IS HE IN?
-MRS. DALLA BETTA IS THE
REGULAR GUIDANCE MAN.
I'M JUST FILLING IN.
TEMPORARILY.
TILL DECEMBER.
CAN IT WAIT?
-W-WELL... UM...
-RELAX, ARNOLD.
TAKE A LOAD OFF.
HAVE A SEAT.
RIGHT.
I UNDERSTAND YOUR HESITATION.
YOU'RE THINKING, "ED CUTLIP,
"A CRACK PHYSICAL
EDUCATION INSTRUCTOR.
WHAT'S A MAN OF ACTION LIKE
HIM DOING IN A... SWIVEL CHAIR?"
AM I RIGHT?
-WELL...
-UNUSUAL?
MAYBE.
UNEXPECTED?
CERTAINLY.
BUT THINK OF IT
THIS WAY, ARNOLD.
THERE MIGHT BE MORE IN
THIS OLD BEAN... [TINK, TINK]
THAN MEETS THE EYE.
MAYBE I CAN EVEN HELP.
-AND THE WAY HE SAID
IT, FOR ONE MOMENT,
I ACTUALLY WONDERED
IF HE COULD HELP.
-PEANUT?
-NO.
NO. THANKS.
-COME ON, SON. WHAT IS IT?
-[SIGHS]
IT'S 9th GRADE.
-AH.
-IT'S NOT TURNING OUT THE
WAY I THOUGHT IT WOULD.
I-I DON'T HAVE A LOCKER,
AND MY CLASSES
ARE ALL WRONG AND...
-I SEE.
-YOU DO?
-IT'S A COMPLEX PROBLEM,
BUT THERE'S A SIMPLE SOLUTION.
-THERE IS?
-MAYBE I HAD HIM WRONG.
MAYBE THERE WAS MORE TO
ED CUTLIP THAN MET THE EYE.
-SO, WHAT DO WE DO NOW?
-LAPS!
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
-WELL, THINK OF IT THIS WAY.
EVERY CLOUD HAS A SILVER LINING.
THE WAY THIS DAY WAS GOING,
I WAS PROBABLY
BETTER OFF BEING ALONE.
AND SUDDENLY I KNEW
WHAT CUSTER FELT LIKE.
GREAT... SITTING BULL HERSELF.
AND SHE WAS GAINING ON ME.
INSTINCTIVELY I KNEW... THIS
WAS A CHALLENGE, A TEST...
AND I WAS UP TO IT.
-[PANTING]
-SURE, IT WAS DUMB,
BUT AT THAT MOMENT,
ALL I KNEW WAS...
I HAD TO WIN.
[GIRLS CHEERING]
I PULLED UP EVEN.
I PULLED AHEAD.
[CHEERING]
AS WE ROUNDED THAT FINAL
TURN, I FELT LIKE I HAD WINGS.
SURE, MAYBE I
COULDN'T FIND A LOCKER.
MAYBE I WAS STUCK IN SHOP.
BUT I WAS GONNA BEAT THIS GIRL.
I WAS GONNA WIN THIS RACE.
THIS WAS GONNA BE A MASSACRE.
[STRAUSS' "THUS SPOKE
ZARATHUSTRA" PLAYS]
HEH HEH.
NO HARD FEELINGS, HUH, SLATES?
-UGH!
UGH. OHH.
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
-AND THAT ABOUT DID IT.
THE PERFECT END
TO A PERFECT DAY.
-KEVIN?
[CHIMES TINKLING]
-MADELINE?
-SHE'D SEEN THE WHOLE THING.
THE WHOLE HUMILIATING EPISODE!
-[GROANS]
-IT WAS PRETTY CLEAR SHE'D
COME OVER TO LAUGH AT ME.
-I JUST CAME OVER TO THANK YOU.
-HUH?
-FOR BEING NICE TO ME.
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW HARD IT
IS TO BE THE NEW GIRL IN SCHOOL.
[EXHALES]
-AND THEN IT HAPPENED.
SOMETHING INSIDE OF ME SNAPPED.
- KEV?
- LATER!
-I'D HAD ENOUGH. I'D
BEEN PUSHED TOO FAR.
AND I KNEW WHAT I HAD TO DO.
-HEY! BARBELLA!
I WANT MY LOCKER BACK.
NOW!
-[SCOFFS]
-9th-GRADE MAN...
NOBLE, UPRIGHT, VIRTUOUS.
I WENT INTO MY LAST
YEAR OF JUNIOR HIGH
THINKING I KNEW ALL THE ANSWERS.
AND SUDDENLY ALL I
HAD WERE QUESTIONS.
PLUS A DISLOCATED THUMB.
IT'S FUNNY.
I REMEMBERED A TIME
WHEN I KNEW WHO I WAS.
BUT THAT WAS EIGHT HOURS AGO.
SUDDENLY I FELT ON
THE OUTSIDE, LOOKING IN.
LOOKING FOR...
WINNIE.
-HI.
-HI.
-HOW WAS YOUR DAY?
-I WANTED TO TELL
HER EVERYTHING,
EVERY BIT OF IT.
ALL THE SETBACKS,
ALL THE SCREW-UPS.
-FINE.
-HECK. I KNEW SHE'D UNDERSTAND.
-HOW ABOUT YOURS?
-OKAY.
-AFTER ALL, WHEN YOU'RE 14,
YOU CAN'T ALWAYS
PUT WORDS TO LIFE.
-♪ BE MY BABY NOW ♪
-ALL I KNEW WAS...
I FELT HOME AGAIN.
-♪ BE MY, BE MY BABY ♪
-♪ BE MY LITTLE BABY ♪
-♪ MY ONE AND ONLY BABY ♪
-♪ OH OH OH OH ♪
-♪ BE MY, BE MY BABY ♪
-♪ OH OH OH OH ♪
-YOU DON'T KNOW HOW HARD IT
IS TO BE THE NEW GIRL IN SCHOOL.
-♪ BE MY, BE MY BABY ♪
-♪ BE MY LITTLE BABY ♪
-♪ MY ONE AND ONLY BABY ♪
-♪ OH OH OH OH ♪
-♪ BE MY, BE MY BABY ♪
-♪ OH OH OH OH ♪
IF I SANG OUT OF TUNE? ♪
♪ WOULD YOU STAND UP
AND WALK OUT ON ME? ♪
♪ LEND ME YOUR EARS,
AND I'LL SING YOU A SONG ♪
♪ I WILL TRY NOT TO
SING OUT OF KEY, YEAH ♪
♪ OH, BABY, I GET BY ♪
- ♪ BY WITH A LITTLE HELP
FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
-♪ ALL I NEED IS MY BUDDIES ♪
-♪ HIGH WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
-♪ I'M SAYIN' I'M GONNA GET HIGHER ♪ - ♪
TRY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
-♪ WHOA-OA-OA-OA ♪
-♪ OH, OH, OH, OH ♪
-♪ SOMEBODY WHO
KNOWS QUITE SURE ♪
♪ BABY ♪
-♪ BY WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
-♪ SAID I'M GONNA MAKE
IT WITH MY FRIENDS ♪
-♪ TRY WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
-♪ OH, I'M GONNA
KEEP ON TRYING ♪
-♪ HIGH WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
♪ I'M GONNA KEEP ON
TRYING NOW, BABY ♪
-♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪
-ONCE UPON A TIME
LIFE WAS SIMPLE,
EVOLUTIONARILY SPEAKING.
THEN...
THINGS BEGAN TO CHANGE.
THE COMPETITION GOT TOUGHER.
THERE WERE WINNERS...
AND LOSERS.
THE STRUGGLE CONTINUED.
THEN IN THE FALL OF 1970, A
NEW CREATURE APPEARED,
THE LIKES OF WHICH HAD
NEVER BEEN SEEN BEFORE.
[STRAUSS' "THUS SPOKE ZARATHUSTRA"
PLAYS] NOBLE, UPRIGHT, VIRTUOUS...
9th-GRADE MAN...
MASTER OF ALL HE SURVEYED.
WHICH IN THIS CASE
WAS WOODY'S PIZZA BARN,
WHERE THE ELITE WENT TO MEET.
YEP, BY THE LAST WEEK OF SUMMER,
I WAS FEELING PRETTY
GOOD ABOUT MYSELF.
LIFE SEEMED FULL OF PROMISE,
FULL OF HOPE,
FULL OF...
-PATCHY DRY SPOTS.
I'M GETTING PATCHY DRY SPOTS.
-RELAX, PAUL.
YOU'RE JUST HAVING
BACK-TO-SCHOOL JITTERS.
BY TOMORROW, YOU'LL BE FINE.
-SURE.
ONLY...
WHAT IF SOMETHING GOES WRONG?
WHAT IF I WEAR THE
WRONG CLOTHES?
WHAT IF I FORGET...
-PAUL!
-I GOTTA GO PUT
ON SOME OINTMENT.
-OKAY, SO NOT EVERYONE
SHARED MY SENSE OF WELL-BEING.
THAT WAS UNDERSTANDABLE.
NOT EVERYONE HAD A
STEADY GIRL LIKE MINE...
WINNIE COOPER.
SO LONG AS WE HAD EACH
OTHER, WE HAD NOTHING TO FEAR.
-I'M SCARED.
-WHAT?
-WELL, I AM.
-WINNIE, STOP WORRYING.
EVERYBODY'S GONNA LIKE YA.
-THAT'S EASY FOR YOU TO SAY.
YOU'RE NOT STARTING
IN A NEW SCHOOL.
ALL THE STRANGE CLASSROOMS.
THE STRANGE PEOPLE.
AND YOU'LL BE SO FAR AWAY.
YOU WON'T FORGET
ABOUT ME, WILL YOU?
-WHAT?!
-WILL YOU THINK ABOUT ME?
-OF COURSE I'LL THINK ABOUT YOU.
-THINK ABOUT ME EVERY
HOUR, ON THE HOUR.
AND I'LL THINK ABOUT YOU.
-WINNIE...
-PROMISE? EVERY HOUR?
-[SIGHS] I PROMISE.
-SURE. I'D PROMISE
HER THE WORLD.
WHY NOT? I WAS 9th-GRADE MAN.
AND I WAS READY... FOR ANYTHING.
-THIS IS MINE.
-MAKE THAT ALMOST ANYTHING.
-TONY?
-BARBELLA?
-WELCOME BACK.
-I thought he graduated.
-I GRADUATE EVERY YEAR.
-OH.
-AND THIS IS MY LOCKER.
-GREAT.
THREE MINUTES INTO THE NEW YEAR,
AND THE FIRST FACE I SEE
BELONGS ON THE WALL
AT THE POST OFFICE.
STILL, I COULD HANDLE THIS.
-NO. I-I-I DON'T THINK SO, TONY.
SEE, THAT'S YOUR LOCKER.
OVER THERE.
REMEMBER?
-OH. YEAH.
-YEAH.
-THERE. SIMPLE
REASONING. SOLID LOGIC.
-SO, I GUESS I GOT TWO NOW, HUH?
LUCKY ME.
-YEAH, BUT...
-DO YOU THINK YOU
COULD DEAL WITH THAT?
BECAUSE IF YOU CAN'T,
I'M GONNA HAVE TO
TAKE YOUR THUMB
AND BEND IT BACK TO YOUR ELBOW.
-SEEMED TONY HAD
A LOGIC OF HIS OWN.
-HELP YOURSELF.
-AFTER ALL, NO SENSE LETTING
ONE GORILLA RUIN MY WHOLE DAY.
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
I HAD PLACES TO
GO, THINGS TO DO,
LOCKERS TO FIND...
PEOPLE TO MEET.
-THIS IS MY LOCKER.
-BECKY! HI!
-BECKY SLATER...
ONCE MY NEMESIS,
BUT NOW JUST A GOOD FRIEND.
-I HATE YOU, KEVIN!
-WHAT? WHY?
-AS IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW.
- BUT...
- DON'T PLAY DUMB WITH ME, KEVIN.
YOU INTRODUCED US.
-AND THAT ANSWERED THAT.
WITH JUST ONE LITTLE QUESTION...
-WHAT'S SHE TALKING ABOUT?
-CRAIG HOBSON.
DIDN'T YOU HEAR?
HE DUMPED HER.
THEN HE LEFT FOR
MILITARY SCHOOL.
[LOCKER SLAMS]
-THIS IS YOUR FAULT!
BUT I DON'T GET MAD.
I GET EVEN!
-KIND A LIKE HAVING YOUR OWN
PERSONAL WELCOME WAGON
WAITING AT THE DOOR.
-I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE FLAG
OF THE UNITED
STATES OF AMERICA...
-OKAY, SO THINGS WERE
STARTING OFF A LITTLE BUMPY.
I WASN'T WORRIED.
I HAD MORE IMPORTANT
THINGS TO DO...
- ONE NATION UNDER GOD...
- LIKE THINK ABOUT WINNIE.
- WITH LIBERTY AND
JUSTICE FOR ALL.
-YEP, IN TWO MINUTES,
SHE'D BE THINKING ABOUT ME.
POOR KID, ALL ALONE
AT A NEW SCHOOL.
I CAN ONLY HOPE SOMEONE
WOULD BE NICE ENOUGH TO SAY...
[CHIMES TINKLE]
HUH-UH-UH...
UH-HUH-HUH...
HUH-UNNNNH!
[PENCIL RATTLES]
GULP!
-EXCUSE ME.
YOU, UH...
D-DROPPED THIS.
AND I... UH,
UM...
UH, PICK... PICKED IT UP.
FOR YOU.
-THANK YOU.
-K-KEVIN.
[ELECTRICITY BUZZES]
-FACT... LEAD
CONDUCTS ELECTRICITY.
[BUZZING CONTINUES]
-I WONDER IF YOU COULD HELP ME.
IS THIS CLASS ON THE
OTHER SIDE OF THE QUAD?
-UH...
Y-YEAH.
YEAH... YEAH, JUST...
DOWN AND TO THE LEFT.
-THANK YOU.
-YOU BET.
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
[INDISTINCT TALKING]
DARN IT!
-OKAY, SO I DROPPED THE BALL.
JUST BEING HOSPITABLE.
WINNIE WOULD UNDERSTAND.
-I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS!
-HUH?
-MY SCHEDULE!
LOOK WHAT THEY GAVE ME.
CHEMISTRY!
-SO, WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?
-ARE YOU KIDDING?
YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS
WHEN I GET NEAR CHEMICALS.
I'M ALLERGIC TO SOAP!
-[SIGHS] PAUL...
-I KNEW THIS YEAR WAS
GONNA BE A DISASTER.
WELL, WHAT'D YOU GET?
-UH, LET ME SEE.
-I BET YOU GOT SOMETHING NEAT,
LIKE ASTRONOMY, OR PHYSICS!
-SURE, SOMETHING
NEAT, LIKE, SAY...
[POWER SAW BUZZING]
INDUSTRIAL ARTS?
SHOP?!
[HAMMERING]
IT WAS ENCOURAGING TO
KNOW THE BOARD OF EDUCATION
HAD SUCH CONFIDENCE IN
MY INTELLECTUAL PROWESS.
-HEY.
HEY, DON'T STAND
NEXT TO THAT MACHINE.
-WHAT?
WHY?
-THAT BABY ATE RAY
SPIKE'S INDEX FINGER.
IT'S KIND OF A SHRINE.
YOU'RE NEW HERE, AREN'T YA?
-YEAH. BUT IT'S A MISTAKE.
-[CHUCKLES] THAT'S
WHAT THEY ALL SAY.
-NO. REALLY.
SEE, THERE'S BEEN A
MISTAKE ON MY SCHEDULE.
-IF IT HAD BEEN A BLUEPRINT,
THIS KID MIGHT HAVE
BEEN ABLE TO READ IT.
BUT SINCE IT WAS IN ENGLISH,
IT WAS PRETTY OBVIOUS
HE DIDN'T HAVE A CLUE.
-IS THERE A TEACHER HERE?
-AH, YEAH, NESTOR.
BUT, UH, YOU DON'T
WANT TO TALK TO NESTOR.
-OF COURSE I DID.
AFTER ALL, HE WAS A TEACHER,
AN EMPLOYEE OF THE
PUBLIC-SCHOOL SYSTEM.
-WHERE IS HE?
-OVER THERE.
-ALL RIGHT! LET'S GO!
I GOT IT.
[STUDENTS CHEERING]
IT'S UP.
[GRUNTS]
IT'S CLEAR!
[GRUNTS]
[STUDENTS CHEERING]
ALL RIGHT, BULLETHEADS.
GET BACK TO IT.
-UH, MR. NESTOR?
-YO!
-HI. I'M KEVIN ARNOLD.
- THAT SO?
- YEAH.
I WAS WONDERING IF I COULD
SPEAK TO YOU ABOUT MY SCHEDULE?
-SCHEDULE? HUH?
[CLATTER]
- UH...
YES, SIR. ABOUT THIS CLASS?!
-THIS CLASS? HUH?
-WELL, I THINK POSSIBLY
THERE'S BEEN A MISTAKE!
-MISTAKE?! HUH?!
-OKAY. SO FAR, SO GOOD...
SO FAR AS I COULD TELL.
-YEAH. WELL...
THE FACT IS, I'M NOT VERY
GOOD IN INDUSTRIAL ARTS!
I THINK I'D BE BETTER
AT SOMETHING LIKE, UH,
CHEMISTRY, OR, UH...
-MASHA!
YOUR EYES!
WATCH YOUR EYES!
BULLETHEAD.
OH, WHERE WERE WE?
-WELL, AS SILLY AS IT SOUNDS,
UH, I THINK THEY'VE
GOT THE WRONG ARNOLD.
-WRONG ARNOLD?
HUH?!
-UH, RIGHT.
SO...
-FERBER, NO, NO.
NOT THE SCREWDRIVER. THE CHISEL.
IDIOT.
SO YOU WANT OUT? IS THAT IT?
-KINDA.
I MEAN, IF THAT'D BE
ALL RIGHT WITH YOU.
-OKAY.
I'LL LET YOU OUT.
- [SIGHS]
- THERE. FINALLY!
-THERE'S ONLY ONE THING, THOUGH.
YOU GOTTA ARM-WRESTLE ME FOR IT.
-UH-HUH.
THINGS WERE STARTING
OFF WITH A BANG.
AND IT WASN'T EVEN LUNCH YET.
IF MISERY LOVES COMPANY...
-I TELL YOU, KEV, THIS IS GREAT!
- I WAS HANGING OUT
WITH THE WRONG GUY.
-CHEMISTRY IS SUCH A
FASCINATING SCIENCE.
THE WONDER OF WATER.
THE MYSTERY OF FIRE.
-UH-HUH.
NOT TO MENTION THE
REMAINS OF RAY SPIKE'S FINGER.
-IF FACT, EVEN THAT
SEEMINGLY ORDINARY FISH STICK
IS IN REALITY A MIRACULOUS
LATTICEWORK OF...
-PAUL.
-HUH?
-WILL YOU CUT IT OUT?
I'M TRYING TO EAT HERE!
-WELL, SORRY.
-[SIGHS]
I NEED A LOCKER.
-WELL, THERE'S GOT TO BE
AN EMPTY ONE SOMEWHERE.
-I KNOW.
MAYBE I COULD SHARE YOURS.
-MINE?
-YEAH, SURE. WHY NOT?
-WELL, I-I GUESS I CAN
MAKE SOME ROOM...
-GREAT.
- IN THE BACK, IN THE CORNER.
EXACTLY HOW LONG ARE
YOU GONNA BE STAYING?
-[SIGHS] NEVER MIND.
-COME ON, KEV.
I-IT'S NOT SO BAD.
THINGS WILL WORK OUT.
-YEAH, THAT'S EASY
FOR YOU TO SAY.
-STILL, MAYBE PAUL HAD A POINT.
THE DAY WAS ONLY HALF OVER.
MAYBE IT WAS JUST A MATTER
OF SEEING THE GLASS HALF FULL...
OR HALF EMPTY.
OR COMPLETELY EMPTY.
-I HATE MEN.
-RéPéTEZ APRèS MOI!
BONJOUR, LA CLASSE!
-BONJOUR, MADAME.
-BONJOUR, LA CLASSE.
-BONJOUR, MADAME.
-NOW, HERE WAS
SOMETHING HOPEFUL.
SHOP WAS FOREIGN TO ME.
FRENCH WAS SIMPLY A
LANGUAGE I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND.
-BONJOUR, MADAME.
-CLASS, THIS YEAR WE'RE
GOING TO TRY SOMETHING NEW.
FROM NOW ON, WE'RE ONLY
GOING TO SPEAK EN FRANçAIS.
C'EST BIEN?
[SCATTERED GROANS]
ALL RIGHT. WHO WOULD
LIKE TO GO FIRST?
GUILLAUME.
COMMENT ALLEZ-VOUS AUJOURD'HUI?
-FRèRE JACQUES?
[LAUGHTER]
-[CHUCKLES]
-UH-HUH. THINGS WERE
GETTING BACK TO NORMAL.
AND I WASN'T GONNA MISS
MY 1:00 "THINK ABOUT
WINNIE" PROMISE.
-MADEMOISELLE.
DITES-MOI VOTRE
NOM, S'IL VOUS PLAîT.
-JE M'APPELLE MADELEINE.
-C'EST EXCELLENT, MADEMOISELLE.
-MERCI BEAUCOUP.
-[SPEAKING FRENCH]
-[SPEAKING FRENCH]
-AND SUDDENLY I UNDERSTOOD
WHY FRENCH WAS THE
LANGUAGE OF DIPLOMACY,
OF POETRY, OF ROMANCE, OF...
AMORE!
SUDDENLY I UNDERSTOOD
EVERY SINGLE WORD.
-[SPEAKING FRENCH]
-[SPEAKING FRENCH]
-HEY, IT WAS THE ONLY
THING I KNEW IN FRENCH.
-KEVIN.
-MADELINE.
-KEVIN!
[CHILDREN SNICKERING]
EN FRANçAIS, S'IL VOUS PLAîT!
[LAUGHTER]
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
-DARN IT!
THIS MUCH WAS CLEAR...
IN ANY LANGUAGE...
I NEEDED HELP.
I HAD TO TAKE ACTION,
SEEK ANSWERS.
-COME IN.
-YEP, THIS IS WHAT I NEEDED...
A MAN OF WISDOM,
A MAN OF VISION,
A MAN...
WHO TAUGHT GYM.
-AH, ARNOLD.
-MR. CUTLIP?
-WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?
-I, UH...
I CAME TO SEE THE
GUIDANCE COUNSELOR.
IS HE IN?
-MRS. DALLA BETTA IS THE
REGULAR GUIDANCE MAN.
I'M JUST FILLING IN.
TEMPORARILY.
TILL DECEMBER.
CAN IT WAIT?
-W-WELL... UM...
-RELAX, ARNOLD.
TAKE A LOAD OFF.
HAVE A SEAT.
RIGHT.
I UNDERSTAND YOUR HESITATION.
YOU'RE THINKING, "ED CUTLIP,
"A CRACK PHYSICAL
EDUCATION INSTRUCTOR.
WHAT'S A MAN OF ACTION LIKE
HIM DOING IN A... SWIVEL CHAIR?"
AM I RIGHT?
-WELL...
-UNUSUAL?
MAYBE.
UNEXPECTED?
CERTAINLY.
BUT THINK OF IT
THIS WAY, ARNOLD.
THERE MIGHT BE MORE IN
THIS OLD BEAN... [TINK, TINK]
THAN MEETS THE EYE.
MAYBE I CAN EVEN HELP.
-AND THE WAY HE SAID
IT, FOR ONE MOMENT,
I ACTUALLY WONDERED
IF HE COULD HELP.
-PEANUT?
-NO.
NO. THANKS.
-COME ON, SON. WHAT IS IT?
-[SIGHS]
IT'S 9th GRADE.
-AH.
-IT'S NOT TURNING OUT THE
WAY I THOUGHT IT WOULD.
I-I DON'T HAVE A LOCKER,
AND MY CLASSES
ARE ALL WRONG AND...
-I SEE.
-YOU DO?
-IT'S A COMPLEX PROBLEM,
BUT THERE'S A SIMPLE SOLUTION.
-THERE IS?
-MAYBE I HAD HIM WRONG.
MAYBE THERE WAS MORE TO
ED CUTLIP THAN MET THE EYE.
-SO, WHAT DO WE DO NOW?
-LAPS!
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
-WELL, THINK OF IT THIS WAY.
EVERY CLOUD HAS A SILVER LINING.
THE WAY THIS DAY WAS GOING,
I WAS PROBABLY
BETTER OFF BEING ALONE.
AND SUDDENLY I KNEW
WHAT CUSTER FELT LIKE.
GREAT... SITTING BULL HERSELF.
AND SHE WAS GAINING ON ME.
INSTINCTIVELY I KNEW... THIS
WAS A CHALLENGE, A TEST...
AND I WAS UP TO IT.
-[PANTING]
-SURE, IT WAS DUMB,
BUT AT THAT MOMENT,
ALL I KNEW WAS...
I HAD TO WIN.
[GIRLS CHEERING]
I PULLED UP EVEN.
I PULLED AHEAD.
[CHEERING]
AS WE ROUNDED THAT FINAL
TURN, I FELT LIKE I HAD WINGS.
SURE, MAYBE I
COULDN'T FIND A LOCKER.
MAYBE I WAS STUCK IN SHOP.
BUT I WAS GONNA BEAT THIS GIRL.
I WAS GONNA WIN THIS RACE.
THIS WAS GONNA BE A MASSACRE.
[STRAUSS' "THUS SPOKE
ZARATHUSTRA" PLAYS]
HEH HEH.
NO HARD FEELINGS, HUH, SLATES?
-UGH!
UGH. OHH.
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
-AND THAT ABOUT DID IT.
THE PERFECT END
TO A PERFECT DAY.
-KEVIN?
[CHIMES TINKLING]
-MADELINE?
-SHE'D SEEN THE WHOLE THING.
THE WHOLE HUMILIATING EPISODE!
-[GROANS]
-IT WAS PRETTY CLEAR SHE'D
COME OVER TO LAUGH AT ME.
-I JUST CAME OVER TO THANK YOU.
-HUH?
-FOR BEING NICE TO ME.
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW HARD IT
IS TO BE THE NEW GIRL IN SCHOOL.
[EXHALES]
-AND THEN IT HAPPENED.
SOMETHING INSIDE OF ME SNAPPED.
- KEV?
- LATER!
-I'D HAD ENOUGH. I'D
BEEN PUSHED TOO FAR.
AND I KNEW WHAT I HAD TO DO.
-HEY! BARBELLA!
I WANT MY LOCKER BACK.
NOW!
-[SCOFFS]
-9th-GRADE MAN...
NOBLE, UPRIGHT, VIRTUOUS.
I WENT INTO MY LAST
YEAR OF JUNIOR HIGH
THINKING I KNEW ALL THE ANSWERS.
AND SUDDENLY ALL I
HAD WERE QUESTIONS.
PLUS A DISLOCATED THUMB.
IT'S FUNNY.
I REMEMBERED A TIME
WHEN I KNEW WHO I WAS.
BUT THAT WAS EIGHT HOURS AGO.
SUDDENLY I FELT ON
THE OUTSIDE, LOOKING IN.
LOOKING FOR...
WINNIE.
-HI.
-HI.
-HOW WAS YOUR DAY?
-I WANTED TO TELL
HER EVERYTHING,
EVERY BIT OF IT.
ALL THE SETBACKS,
ALL THE SCREW-UPS.
-FINE.
-HECK. I KNEW SHE'D UNDERSTAND.
-HOW ABOUT YOURS?
-OKAY.
-AFTER ALL, WHEN YOU'RE 14,
YOU CAN'T ALWAYS
PUT WORDS TO LIFE.
-♪ BE MY BABY NOW ♪
-ALL I KNEW WAS...
I FELT HOME AGAIN.
-♪ BE MY, BE MY BABY ♪
-♪ BE MY LITTLE BABY ♪
-♪ MY ONE AND ONLY BABY ♪
-♪ OH OH OH OH ♪
-♪ BE MY, BE MY BABY ♪
-♪ OH OH OH OH ♪
-YOU DON'T KNOW HOW HARD IT
IS TO BE THE NEW GIRL IN SCHOOL.
-♪ BE MY, BE MY BABY ♪
-♪ BE MY LITTLE BABY ♪
-♪ MY ONE AND ONLY BABY ♪
-♪ OH OH OH OH ♪
-♪ BE MY, BE MY BABY ♪
-♪ OH OH OH OH ♪