The Wonder Years (1988–1993): Season 4, Episode 15 - Buster - full transcript
Buster, the Arnold Family dog, doesn't seem to be behaving himself lately. When it seems that the only course of action is to have him 'fixed,' the family has to make an important decision.
-♪ WHAT WOULD YOU DO
IF I SANG OUT OF TUNE? ♪
♪ WOULD YOU STAND UP
AND WALK OUT ON ME? ♪
♪ LEND ME YOUR EARS,
AND I'LL SING YOU A SONG ♪
♪ I WILL TRY NOT TO
SING OUT OF KEY, YEAH ♪
♪ OH, BABY, I GET BY ♪
- ♪ BY WITH A LITTLE HELP
FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
-♪ ALL I NEED IS MY BUDDIES ♪
-♪ HIGH WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
-♪ I'M SAYIN' I'M GONNA GET HIGHER ♪ - ♪
TRY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
-♪ WHOA-OA-OA-OA ♪
-♪ OH, OH, OH, OH ♪
-♪ SOMEBODY WHO
KNOWS QUITE SURE ♪
♪ BABY ♪
-♪ BY WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
-♪ SAID I'M GONNA MAKE
IT WITH MY FRIENDS ♪
-♪ TRY WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
-♪ OH, I'M GONNA
KEEP ON TRYING ♪
-♪ HIGH WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
♪ I'M GONNA KEEP ON
TRYING NOW, BABY ♪
-♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪
-[ LAUGHS]
-EVERY AMERICAN FAMILY
HAS ITS OWN UNIQUE
BLEND OF PERSONALITIES.
-[ LAUGHS]
-[ LAUGHS]
-[LAUGHS]
-MY FAMILY WAS NO EXCEPTION.
-[SIGHS]
[GROANS]
-WITHIN OUR FOUR SUBURBAN WALLS,
WE RANGED THE FULL
SPECTRUM OF TYPES,
FROM THE FLAMBOYANT
TO THE DEMURE...
FROM THE REPELLENT...
TO THE IDEAL.
SOMEHOW, WE MANAGED
TO FIT TOGETHER
IN A KIND OF FRAGILE ALLIANCE.
ONE FOR ALL, AND ALL FOR ONE...
WITH ONE EXCEPTION.
-[BARKS]
-BUSTER.
-BUSTER, THE FAMILY DOG.
WHEN HE WAS LITTLE, HE WAS CUTE.
EVERYONE WANTED TO CUDDLE HIM.
HE WAS THE PERFECT PUPPY.
THEN SOMETHING HAPPENED.
BUSTER...
GREW UP.
-[BARKS, GROWLS]
-SUDDENLY, HE WASN'T SO CUTE.
- [BARKS]
- KEVIN!
- HONEY!
- SCROTE!
-AND JUST AS SUDDENLY...
-[BARKS]
- THE FAMILY DOG...
HAD BECOME MY DOG.
-OKAY, BUSTER.
HERE WE GO.
-NOT THAT I'D VOLUNTEERED
FOR THE ASSIGNMENT.
-COME ON. EAT.
LOOK. OOH! [SMOOCHES] LOOK.
OH, YEAH.
-IT'S JUST, WHEN IT
CAME TO BUSTER...
THE REST OF THE FAMILY
PREFERRED A LESS...
HANDS-ON ROLE.
-WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM?
-ISN'T HE HUNGRY?
-MAYBE HE HAS FLEAS.
[CHUCKLES]
-OH, NO. NOT FLEAS.
HONEY, THEY'LL
GET IN THE CARPETS.
-KEVIN, HAVEN'T YOU
BEEN SPRAYING HIM?
-DAD, HE DOESN'T HAVE FLEAS.
-[WHIMPERS]
-WELL, THEN TAKE HIM FOR A WALK.
-WHY ME? WHY CAN'T HE DO IT?
-[CHUCKLES] BECAUSE
HE'S YOUR DOG.
GRAMPA GAVE HIM TO YOU.
[CHUCKLES]
-SO, BY A QUIRK OF
GRANDFATHERLY FATE,
BUSTER'S FATE AND MINE
HAD BECOME TIED TOGETHER...
-COME ON, BOY.
- FOR BETTER OR WORSE...
-[BARKS]
- MOSTLY WORSE.
-YOU'RE A LUCKY GUY, KEV.
-WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
-THAT.
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
-DOG FOOD?
-YOU'RE PROVIDING
FOR MAN'S BEST FRIEND.
NOW, THAT'S NOTHING TO SCOFF AT.
-PAUL, HAVE YOU EVER
SMELLED THIS STUFF?
-WELL, NO, BUT...
-YEAH, WELL, LET ME TELL YOU...
YOU'RE NOT MISSING MUCH.
-HEY, AT LEAST YOU
GET TO HAVE A DOG.
-OKAY, THEN.
IF YOU'RE SO CRAZY ABOUT DOGS,
WHY DON'T YOU JUST GET ONE?
-MY PARENTS WON'T LET ME.
THEY SAY A DOG WILL
RUIN THE FURNITURE
AND THAT EVERY TIME
WE GO ON VACATION,
WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO WORRY
ABOUT WHAT TO DO WITH IT.
-BUT DO THEY CARE WHAT I THINK?
A BOY SHOULD HAVE A DOG.
WHAT CHILDHOOD IS
COMPLETE WITHOUT ONE?
-YEARS LATER, PAUL
WOULD WIND UP ON A COUCH
TALKING TO A
PROFESSIONAL ABOUT IT.
-PAUL, TRUST ME.
IT'S NOT THAT GREAT.
REALLY.
I MEAN, TAKING CARE OF
DOGS ISN'T AS EASY AS IT LOOKS.
Y-YOU GOT TO FEED 'EM
AND BATHE 'EM AND WALK 'EM.
BELIEVE ME... IT'S NO PICNIC.
-OLD YELLER SAVED
HIS FAMILY FROM A BEAR.
-UNFORTUNATELY, WHERE I LIVED,
BEARS WEREN'T THE PROBLEM.
-HE ATE MY SHOES.
- [WHIMPERS]
- ARE YOU SURE?
-YEAH, I'M SURE.
-NO. I MEAN, ARE YOU
SURE IT WAS BUSTER?
-OH, RIGHT, BUTTHEAD.
I MEAN, WHO ELSE
WOULD BE GROSS ENOUGH
TO EAT DAD'S LOAFERS, HUH?
-[BARKS]
-HE ALSO MISTOOK MY
CLOSET FOR A FIRE HYDRANT.
-I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS.
HE'S NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE.
I WONDER WHAT'S WRONG.
-WHATEVER IT WAS,
IT WASN'T EXACTLY ENDEARING THE
OLD DOG TO THE OLD HOMEFRONT.
-[BARKING]
-CAN'T YOU AT LEAST
KEEP HIM QUIET?
I GOT LESS THAN A WEEK
TO FINISH THIS DAMN REPORT.
-SEEMED LIKE IT WAS UP TO ME
TO SAVE BUSTER'S REPUTATION.
- [WHIMPERS]
- MAYBE HE'S SICK.
-SICK?
-WELL, HIS NOSE
IS A LITTLE WARM.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD TAKE
HIM TO THE VET, HONEY.
-POOR GUY.
-[ CHUCKLES]
NOTHING LIKE A WARM NOSE
TO BRING OUT THE
BEST IN A FAMILY...
WARMTH, COMPASSION.
-I'LL TAKE HIM TOMORROW.
-YEAH, AND TRADE
HIM IN FOR A CAT.
[CAT YOWLS]
-IS HE EATING?
-NO. NOT REALLY.
-MM-HMM. AND HOW
LONG'S HE BEEN BARKING?
-ABOUT THREE WEEKS.
-OKAY, BUSTER. LET
ME LOOK AT YOUR EYES.
-SURE... CHECK
THE EYES, THE EARS.
GIVE HIM A FEW DOGGIE PILLS,
AND WE'D BE OUT OF THERE.
-ARE YOU THE PERSON
RESPONSIBLE FOR THE DOG?
-WELL, YEAH. I GUESS.
-IN THAT CASE,
I HAVE SOMETHING TO
DISCUSS WITH YOU, KEVIN.
-WHY? IS THERE SOMETHING
WRONG WITH HIM?
-I COULD SEE IT WAS
SOMETHING HORRIBLE,
LIKE PLAGUE... RABIES.
-ARE YOU PLANNING
ON BREEDING BUSTER?
-OH.
WELL, I MEAN, NO.
I GUESS NOT.
-WHEW! AND I THOUGHT
IT WAS SERIOUS.
-BECAUSE, KEVIN, I THINK WE
SHOULD HAVE BUSTER FIXED.
-[WHIMPERS]
-UH-HUH.
-FRANKLY, I THINK IT'S THE
CONSCIENTIOUS THING TO DO.
WHAT WE'RE REALLY TALKING
ABOUT HERE IS BUSTER'S WELL-BEING.
AND IT'S A FAIRLY SIMPLE
PROCEDURE, REALLY.
-AND SO DR. FERLEGER
EXPLAINED TO ME
EXACTLY WHAT WAS INVOLVED,
MAKING EVERY
DETAIL CRYSTAL-CLEAR.
AND WHEN IT WAS OVER...
-SO, HOW DO YOU
WANT TO HANDLE THIS?
-[WHIMPERS]
- SEEMED THE DECISION
WAS PRETTY MUCH UP TO ME.
-MOM? DAD? WAYNE?
I TOOK BUSTER TO THE VET.
-AND?
-WELL...
-HONEY?
IS THERE SOMETHING
WRONG WITH HIM?
-WELL, NOTHING
THAT CAN'T BE FIXED.
-[GROANS]
-I MEAN...
-THERE WAS NO
SENSE HOLDING BACK.
THIS WAS A FAMILY ISSUE...
A MATTER FOR THE ALLIANCE.
-WELL...
-SO... I TOLD THEM.
-SHE SAID IT WAS THE
CONSCIENTIOUS THING TO DO.
-I EXPLAINED TO THEM
EXACTLY WHAT WAS INVOLVED...
MAKING EVERY
DETAIL CRYSTAL-CLEAR.
-[WHIMPERS]
-AND WHEN IT WAS OVER...
[KNIFE CLATTERS]
-[WHIMPERS]
- SEEMED THE DECISION WAS
PRETTY MUCH UP TO THEM.
-THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID, HUH?
-[BARKS]
- UH-HUH.
- [BARKS]
-BUT AT LEAST THE
BURDEN WAS OFF ME.
THIS PROBLEM WAS TOO
BIG FOR ONE SMALL KID.
MY FAMILY WOULD
HANDLE IT NOW, TOGETHER...
ONE FOR ALL, ALL FOR ONE.
-MAY I BE EXCUSED?
-I SHOULD GO FINISH THE LAUNDRY.
-UM...
THERE'S A LIGHT BULB
IN THE BEDROOM, UH...
NEEDS TO BE REPLACED.
-I, UH...
GOT TO...
TAKE OUT THE TRASH.
YEAH.
-LIKE I SAID... ONE
FOR ALL... ALL FOR ONE.
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
-[BARKS]
-[BARKING]
-OVER THE NEXT FEW
DAYS, WE DID OUR BEST
TO PRETEND THE
PROBLEM DIDN'T EXIST.
-[BARKING]
-[GROANS]
-WOULD ANYONE LIKE
SOME MORE BACON?
-YEAH. THANKS, MOM.
-YEAH, ME TOO.
- COFFEE'S GOOD, NORMA.
- MM.
-[BARKING]
-TROUBLE WAS, IN ORDER
TO IGNORE THE PROBLEM...
YOU HAD TO IGNORE BUSTER.
AND IN ORDER TO IGNORE BUSTER...
YOU HAD TO BE THE VILLAGE IDIOT.
-[BARKS]
[BARKING]
- MY FAMILY WAS STYMIED.
TROUBLE IS, THE ONLY WAY OUT...
-[BARKS]
- WAS THE SKILLED
HANDS OF A SURGEON.
-OKAY, BULLET-HEAD. YOU TRY.
[SAW WHIRS]
NOT LIKE THAT.
[SAW POWERS DOWN] YOUR FINGERS!
YOU WANT TO CUT
SOMETHING IMPORTANT OFF?
-I'M SORRY.
I GUESS I JUST GOT DISTRACTED.
-DISTRACTED? HUH?
WHAT ABOUT?
-WELL, SEE, IT'S MY DOG.
HE'S BEEN ACTING UP.
YOU KNOW, BARKING, EATING SHOES.
-BARKING? HUH?
OH. I KNOW THAT PROBLEM.
KNOW IT WELL.
-HOLD ON, HERE. WAS THIS
A MAN WHO COULD HELP?
A MAN WITH A LITTLE
FIELD EXPERIENCE?
MAYBE EVEN A MAN
WITH A SOLUTION?
-DO YOU HAVE A DOG?
-OH, HAD.
SMOKEY.
OH, HE WAS A REAL PAL.
SAW ME THROUGH SOME
TOUGH TIMES, THAT LITTLE DEVIL.
HE HAD THREE LEGS, YOU KNOW.
HE HATED THE FIRST MRS. NESTOR.
NOPE. YOU CAN'T BUY
LOYALTY LIKE THAT ANYMORE.
AHH, THERE'S NOTHING I
WOULDN'T DO FOR THAT LITTLE FELLA.
-AND FOR ONE SECOND, I
COULD HAVE KISSED THE GUY.
-SO, HOW'D YOU KEEP
HIM FROM BARKING?
-WE HAD HIM FIXED!
-[BARKS]
[GROWLS, BARKS]
[BARKING CONTINUES IN DISTANCE]
-HEY!
-OKAY, BUTTHEAD.
HERE'S THE DEAL.
EVERY TIME YOUR DOG BARKS,
I THROW SOMETHING AT YOU.
-[SCOFFS]
- [BARKS IN DISTANCE]
- [SIGHS]
[THUD] HEY! WAYNE, CUT IT OUT!
-WHY DON'T YOU TELL YOUR
DOG TO SHUT UP ALREADY!
-DAMN IT, KEVIN!
I'VE GOT WORK TO DO.
-[SCOFFS] LOOK, DAD, I
PUT HIM IN THE CELLAR.
-TRY SOMETHING ELSE.
-OUR FAMILY ALLIANCE
WAS FALLING APART.
IT WAS CLEAR SOMEONE HAD TO ACT.
-[SIGHS]
-[BARKS IN DISTANCE]
[BARKS]
[DOOR OPENS]
-AND, AS USUAL, IT
WAS GONNA BE ME.
IT WAS TIME TO TALK
TURKEY WITH THE POOCH.
-[SIGHS]
COME ON, BUSTER.
GIVE ME A BREAK, HUH?
GIVE US ALL A BREAK.
-[WHIMPERS]
-LOOK, BUSTER, IF
YOU STOP BARKING,
THEN MAYBE YOU WON'T
HAVE TO GO TO THE VET.
AND TRUST ME... YOU DON'T
WANT TO GO TO THE VET, OKAY?
-[GROWLS]
-BUT SOMEHOW I HAD
THE SNEAKING SUSPICION
ALL THE LOGIC IN THE WORLD
WASN'T GONNA
CHANGE THIS DOG'S MIND.
SO THERE WAS ONLY
ONE THING LEFT TO DO.
-GOOD DOG.
GOOD BOY.
-BUSTER AND I STRUCK A BARGAIN.
HE WOULDN'T BARK...
AND I WOULDN'T SLEEP.
-♪ I COULDN'T SLEEP
AT ALL LAST NIGHT ♪
♪ JUST A-THINKIN' OF YOU ♪
♪ MAYBE THINGS WEREN'T RIGHT ♪
♪ WHEN I WAS ♪
♪ TOSSIN' AND TURNIN' ♪
♪ TURNIN' AND TOSSIN' ♪
♪ A-TOSSIN' AND TURNIN'
ALL DAY, DAY, DAY ♪
-WHOEVER SAID DOG
IS MAN'S BEST FRIEND
MUST HAVE HAD A KING-SIZE BED.
-♪ TOSSIN' AND TURNIN' ♪
-STILL, OVER THE NEXT FEW DAYS,
THE PROBLEM SEEMED TO BE SOLVED.
NOT A YIP, NOT A PEEP. NOTHING.
-FINALLY.
-AND LOSING A LITTLE
SLEEP WASN'T SO BAD
IF IT KEPT THE DOGS AT BAY.
-OH, KEVIE?
WHATCHA DOING?
-I'M TRYING TO TAKE A NAP. WHY?
-OH, NOTHING.
JUST THOUGHT YOU
MIGHT WANT TO KNOW...
BUSTER...
ATE DAD'S HOMEWORK.
[CHUCKLES]
-[GROWLS]
[WHIMPERS]
- [LAUGHS]
- [BARKING]
-GLAD HE'S NOT MY DOG.
[LAUGHS]
-IT WAS PRETTY CLEAR
WHAT WAS GONNA HAPPEN
WHEN MY FATHER FOUND OUT.
-DAD'S NOT GONNA
TAKE HIM TO THE VET.
HE'S GONNA TAKE
HIM TO THE POUND.
-[BARKS]
[WHIMPERS]
-I THOUGHT ABOUT PUTTING
BUSTER ON A NIGHT FLIGHT TO SIBERIA.
BUT I KNEW SOONER OR
LATER, DAD WOULD FIND HIM.
SO I TOOK HIM TO THE PARK.
-YOU'RE IN A LOT OF
TROUBLE... YOU KNOW THAT?
DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE?
-[BARKS]
-THIS IS SERIOUS,
OKAY?! IT'S NOT FUNNY!
-BUT SUDDENLY, I WAS
FED UP WITH A DUMB MUTT
WHO ABSOLUTELY REFUSED
TO LISTEN TO REASON.
- [BARKS]
- ALL RIGHT.
FINE. BARK YOUR BRAINS
OUT. SEE WHAT I CARE.
I WASH MY HANDS
OF THE WHOLE THING.
I MEAN, BUSTER,
CAN'T YOU JUST TRY
ONCE IN A WHILE TO FIT IN?
I MEAN, ARE YOU PART
OF THIS FAMILY OR NOT?
[DOG BARKS]
-AND THEN, I GUESS
I GOT MY ANSWER.
[GRIEG'S "MORNING MOOD" PLAYS]
[DOGS BARKING]
-BUSTER, COME BACK!
[DOG BARKS]
THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE!
I'M WARNING YOU!
-[BARKS]
[DOG WHIMPERS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ON TV]
-WHAT'S THIS?
-HALFWAY THROUGH.
KEVIN! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
-I WAS AT THE PARK.
BUSTER GOT LOOSE.
I HAD TO CHASE HIM.
-YOU SAW WHAT HE DID?
GONNA BE UP ALL NIGHT
TRYING TO PATCH
THIS THING TOGETHER.
-I'M SORRY.
-[SIGHS]
-BUT SOMEHOW, DAD'S REPORT
DIDN'T SEEM ALL THAT
IMPORTANT ANYMORE.
-HEY... WHERE'S THE POOCH?
-HE RAN AWAY.
I THINK HE WANTED TO.
I LET HIM DOWN.
I THINK WE ALL LET HIM DOWN.
-I'LL GET MY COAT.
- BUSTER!
- BUSTER!
- BUSTER!
- BUSTER!
-THAT NIGHT, I THINK WE
ALL REALIZED SOMETHING...
- BUSTER!
- ABOUT BUSTER,
ABOUT OURSELVES...
- BUSTER!
- BUSTER!
- ABOUT BEING A FAMILY.
- BUSTER!
- BUSTER!
- BUSTER!
- BUSTER!
-SOMETIMES IT'S NOT ENOUGH
JUST TO ENJOY THE GOOD TIMES,
THE CUTE TIMES.
-BUSTER!
-SOMETIMES IT'S WHEN
YOUR PUPPIES GROW UP
THAT THE WORK BEGINS.
- BUSTER!
- BUSTER!
THE HARD DECISIONS.
-[SIGHS]
[ENGINE SHUTS OFF]
-[SIGHS]
OKAY.
WE'LL LOOK AGAIN
TOMORROW WHEN IT'S LIGHT.
-BUT WE ALL KNEW
IT WAS HOPELESS.
WE'D LET HIM GO.
AND THERE WAS NO
WAY WE'D EVER FIND HIM.
-[SIGHS]
[CRASH, DOG BARKS]
-UNTIL, OF COURSE...
- [BARKING]
- BUSTER FOUND US.
-BUSTER!
- BUSTER!
- BUSTER!
- BUSTER!
- OH, COME HERE, BUSTER!
-LOOK AT HOW DIRTY HE IS.
- BUSTER!
- OH, GOOD BOY!
YOU'RE A GOOD BOY!
- LOOK AT THE BOY!
-BUSTER! HELLO, SWEETHEART!
-YOU'RE SO COLD!
YOU... ARE YOU COLD?
WE MISSED YOU SO MUCH!
- WE MISSED YOU A LOT.
- OH, LOOKIT.
CAN'T BELIEVE HOW DIRTY HE IS.
- GOOD BOY.
[BILL WITHERS'
"LEAN ON ME" PLAYS]
-THE NEXT MORNING, WE
ALL TOOK BUSTER TO THE VET.
AND IN A WAY, I GUESS YOU
COULD SAY THAT BUSTER'S LOSS...
WAS ALSO HIS GAIN.
HE'D BEEN THIS LITTLE STRANGER
WHO TURNED OUT TO
BE A PART OF OUR FAMILY,
A VENERABLE MEMBER
OF THE ALLIANCE.
ONE FOR ALL, AND ALL FOR ONE.
-BUSTER.
-BUSTER, LOOK! LOOK!
-♪ WE KNOW THAT THERE'S ♪
♪ ALWAYS TOMORROW ♪
♪ LEAN ON ME ♪
-AND OVER THE YEARS,
THROUGH GOOD TIMES AND BAD...
THROUGH SEASONS
OF HOPE AND CHANGE,
HE STOOD BY US ALL.
A SILENT PARTNER,
THE FIRST ONE TO
GREET ME AT THE DOOR
WHEN I CAME HOME
FROM MY SENIOR PROM.
THE ONE WHO STARED
OUT OUR FRONT WINDOW
ON THE DAY I LEFT FOR COLLEGE.
AND MY MOM SAID HE
STAYED THERE FOR HOURS.
-♪ YOU HAVE TO BEAR ♪
♪ THAT YOU CAN'T CARRY ♪
♪ I'M RIGHT UP THE ROAD ♪
♪ I'LL SHARE YOUR LOAD ♪
♪ IF YOU JUST CALL ME ♪
-♪ CALL ME ♪
-♪ IF YOU NEED A FRIEND ♪
-♪ CALL ME ♪
-♪ CALL ME, YEAH ♪
-♪ CALL ME ♪
-♪ CALL ME ♪
-♪ CALL ME ♪
-♪ CALL ME ♪
-♪ CALL ME ♪
IF I SANG OUT OF TUNE? ♪
♪ WOULD YOU STAND UP
AND WALK OUT ON ME? ♪
♪ LEND ME YOUR EARS,
AND I'LL SING YOU A SONG ♪
♪ I WILL TRY NOT TO
SING OUT OF KEY, YEAH ♪
♪ OH, BABY, I GET BY ♪
- ♪ BY WITH A LITTLE HELP
FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
-♪ ALL I NEED IS MY BUDDIES ♪
-♪ HIGH WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
-♪ I'M SAYIN' I'M GONNA GET HIGHER ♪ - ♪
TRY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
-♪ WHOA-OA-OA-OA ♪
-♪ OH, OH, OH, OH ♪
-♪ SOMEBODY WHO
KNOWS QUITE SURE ♪
♪ BABY ♪
-♪ BY WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
-♪ SAID I'M GONNA MAKE
IT WITH MY FRIENDS ♪
-♪ TRY WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
-♪ OH, I'M GONNA
KEEP ON TRYING ♪
-♪ HIGH WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
♪ I'M GONNA KEEP ON
TRYING NOW, BABY ♪
-♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪
-[ LAUGHS]
-EVERY AMERICAN FAMILY
HAS ITS OWN UNIQUE
BLEND OF PERSONALITIES.
-[ LAUGHS]
-[ LAUGHS]
-[LAUGHS]
-MY FAMILY WAS NO EXCEPTION.
-[SIGHS]
[GROANS]
-WITHIN OUR FOUR SUBURBAN WALLS,
WE RANGED THE FULL
SPECTRUM OF TYPES,
FROM THE FLAMBOYANT
TO THE DEMURE...
FROM THE REPELLENT...
TO THE IDEAL.
SOMEHOW, WE MANAGED
TO FIT TOGETHER
IN A KIND OF FRAGILE ALLIANCE.
ONE FOR ALL, AND ALL FOR ONE...
WITH ONE EXCEPTION.
-[BARKS]
-BUSTER.
-BUSTER, THE FAMILY DOG.
WHEN HE WAS LITTLE, HE WAS CUTE.
EVERYONE WANTED TO CUDDLE HIM.
HE WAS THE PERFECT PUPPY.
THEN SOMETHING HAPPENED.
BUSTER...
GREW UP.
-[BARKS, GROWLS]
-SUDDENLY, HE WASN'T SO CUTE.
- [BARKS]
- KEVIN!
- HONEY!
- SCROTE!
-AND JUST AS SUDDENLY...
-[BARKS]
- THE FAMILY DOG...
HAD BECOME MY DOG.
-OKAY, BUSTER.
HERE WE GO.
-NOT THAT I'D VOLUNTEERED
FOR THE ASSIGNMENT.
-COME ON. EAT.
LOOK. OOH! [SMOOCHES] LOOK.
OH, YEAH.
-IT'S JUST, WHEN IT
CAME TO BUSTER...
THE REST OF THE FAMILY
PREFERRED A LESS...
HANDS-ON ROLE.
-WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM?
-ISN'T HE HUNGRY?
-MAYBE HE HAS FLEAS.
[CHUCKLES]
-OH, NO. NOT FLEAS.
HONEY, THEY'LL
GET IN THE CARPETS.
-KEVIN, HAVEN'T YOU
BEEN SPRAYING HIM?
-DAD, HE DOESN'T HAVE FLEAS.
-[WHIMPERS]
-WELL, THEN TAKE HIM FOR A WALK.
-WHY ME? WHY CAN'T HE DO IT?
-[CHUCKLES] BECAUSE
HE'S YOUR DOG.
GRAMPA GAVE HIM TO YOU.
[CHUCKLES]
-SO, BY A QUIRK OF
GRANDFATHERLY FATE,
BUSTER'S FATE AND MINE
HAD BECOME TIED TOGETHER...
-COME ON, BOY.
- FOR BETTER OR WORSE...
-[BARKS]
- MOSTLY WORSE.
-YOU'RE A LUCKY GUY, KEV.
-WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
-THAT.
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
-DOG FOOD?
-YOU'RE PROVIDING
FOR MAN'S BEST FRIEND.
NOW, THAT'S NOTHING TO SCOFF AT.
-PAUL, HAVE YOU EVER
SMELLED THIS STUFF?
-WELL, NO, BUT...
-YEAH, WELL, LET ME TELL YOU...
YOU'RE NOT MISSING MUCH.
-HEY, AT LEAST YOU
GET TO HAVE A DOG.
-OKAY, THEN.
IF YOU'RE SO CRAZY ABOUT DOGS,
WHY DON'T YOU JUST GET ONE?
-MY PARENTS WON'T LET ME.
THEY SAY A DOG WILL
RUIN THE FURNITURE
AND THAT EVERY TIME
WE GO ON VACATION,
WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO WORRY
ABOUT WHAT TO DO WITH IT.
-BUT DO THEY CARE WHAT I THINK?
A BOY SHOULD HAVE A DOG.
WHAT CHILDHOOD IS
COMPLETE WITHOUT ONE?
-YEARS LATER, PAUL
WOULD WIND UP ON A COUCH
TALKING TO A
PROFESSIONAL ABOUT IT.
-PAUL, TRUST ME.
IT'S NOT THAT GREAT.
REALLY.
I MEAN, TAKING CARE OF
DOGS ISN'T AS EASY AS IT LOOKS.
Y-YOU GOT TO FEED 'EM
AND BATHE 'EM AND WALK 'EM.
BELIEVE ME... IT'S NO PICNIC.
-OLD YELLER SAVED
HIS FAMILY FROM A BEAR.
-UNFORTUNATELY, WHERE I LIVED,
BEARS WEREN'T THE PROBLEM.
-HE ATE MY SHOES.
- [WHIMPERS]
- ARE YOU SURE?
-YEAH, I'M SURE.
-NO. I MEAN, ARE YOU
SURE IT WAS BUSTER?
-OH, RIGHT, BUTTHEAD.
I MEAN, WHO ELSE
WOULD BE GROSS ENOUGH
TO EAT DAD'S LOAFERS, HUH?
-[BARKS]
-HE ALSO MISTOOK MY
CLOSET FOR A FIRE HYDRANT.
-I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS.
HE'S NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE.
I WONDER WHAT'S WRONG.
-WHATEVER IT WAS,
IT WASN'T EXACTLY ENDEARING THE
OLD DOG TO THE OLD HOMEFRONT.
-[BARKING]
-CAN'T YOU AT LEAST
KEEP HIM QUIET?
I GOT LESS THAN A WEEK
TO FINISH THIS DAMN REPORT.
-SEEMED LIKE IT WAS UP TO ME
TO SAVE BUSTER'S REPUTATION.
- [WHIMPERS]
- MAYBE HE'S SICK.
-SICK?
-WELL, HIS NOSE
IS A LITTLE WARM.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD TAKE
HIM TO THE VET, HONEY.
-POOR GUY.
-[ CHUCKLES]
NOTHING LIKE A WARM NOSE
TO BRING OUT THE
BEST IN A FAMILY...
WARMTH, COMPASSION.
-I'LL TAKE HIM TOMORROW.
-YEAH, AND TRADE
HIM IN FOR A CAT.
[CAT YOWLS]
-IS HE EATING?
-NO. NOT REALLY.
-MM-HMM. AND HOW
LONG'S HE BEEN BARKING?
-ABOUT THREE WEEKS.
-OKAY, BUSTER. LET
ME LOOK AT YOUR EYES.
-SURE... CHECK
THE EYES, THE EARS.
GIVE HIM A FEW DOGGIE PILLS,
AND WE'D BE OUT OF THERE.
-ARE YOU THE PERSON
RESPONSIBLE FOR THE DOG?
-WELL, YEAH. I GUESS.
-IN THAT CASE,
I HAVE SOMETHING TO
DISCUSS WITH YOU, KEVIN.
-WHY? IS THERE SOMETHING
WRONG WITH HIM?
-I COULD SEE IT WAS
SOMETHING HORRIBLE,
LIKE PLAGUE... RABIES.
-ARE YOU PLANNING
ON BREEDING BUSTER?
-OH.
WELL, I MEAN, NO.
I GUESS NOT.
-WHEW! AND I THOUGHT
IT WAS SERIOUS.
-BECAUSE, KEVIN, I THINK WE
SHOULD HAVE BUSTER FIXED.
-[WHIMPERS]
-UH-HUH.
-FRANKLY, I THINK IT'S THE
CONSCIENTIOUS THING TO DO.
WHAT WE'RE REALLY TALKING
ABOUT HERE IS BUSTER'S WELL-BEING.
AND IT'S A FAIRLY SIMPLE
PROCEDURE, REALLY.
-AND SO DR. FERLEGER
EXPLAINED TO ME
EXACTLY WHAT WAS INVOLVED,
MAKING EVERY
DETAIL CRYSTAL-CLEAR.
AND WHEN IT WAS OVER...
-SO, HOW DO YOU
WANT TO HANDLE THIS?
-[WHIMPERS]
- SEEMED THE DECISION
WAS PRETTY MUCH UP TO ME.
-MOM? DAD? WAYNE?
I TOOK BUSTER TO THE VET.
-AND?
-WELL...
-HONEY?
IS THERE SOMETHING
WRONG WITH HIM?
-WELL, NOTHING
THAT CAN'T BE FIXED.
-[GROANS]
-I MEAN...
-THERE WAS NO
SENSE HOLDING BACK.
THIS WAS A FAMILY ISSUE...
A MATTER FOR THE ALLIANCE.
-WELL...
-SO... I TOLD THEM.
-SHE SAID IT WAS THE
CONSCIENTIOUS THING TO DO.
-I EXPLAINED TO THEM
EXACTLY WHAT WAS INVOLVED...
MAKING EVERY
DETAIL CRYSTAL-CLEAR.
-[WHIMPERS]
-AND WHEN IT WAS OVER...
[KNIFE CLATTERS]
-[WHIMPERS]
- SEEMED THE DECISION WAS
PRETTY MUCH UP TO THEM.
-THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID, HUH?
-[BARKS]
- UH-HUH.
- [BARKS]
-BUT AT LEAST THE
BURDEN WAS OFF ME.
THIS PROBLEM WAS TOO
BIG FOR ONE SMALL KID.
MY FAMILY WOULD
HANDLE IT NOW, TOGETHER...
ONE FOR ALL, ALL FOR ONE.
-MAY I BE EXCUSED?
-I SHOULD GO FINISH THE LAUNDRY.
-UM...
THERE'S A LIGHT BULB
IN THE BEDROOM, UH...
NEEDS TO BE REPLACED.
-I, UH...
GOT TO...
TAKE OUT THE TRASH.
YEAH.
-LIKE I SAID... ONE
FOR ALL... ALL FOR ONE.
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
-[BARKS]
-[BARKING]
-OVER THE NEXT FEW
DAYS, WE DID OUR BEST
TO PRETEND THE
PROBLEM DIDN'T EXIST.
-[BARKING]
-[GROANS]
-WOULD ANYONE LIKE
SOME MORE BACON?
-YEAH. THANKS, MOM.
-YEAH, ME TOO.
- COFFEE'S GOOD, NORMA.
- MM.
-[BARKING]
-TROUBLE WAS, IN ORDER
TO IGNORE THE PROBLEM...
YOU HAD TO IGNORE BUSTER.
AND IN ORDER TO IGNORE BUSTER...
YOU HAD TO BE THE VILLAGE IDIOT.
-[BARKS]
[BARKING]
- MY FAMILY WAS STYMIED.
TROUBLE IS, THE ONLY WAY OUT...
-[BARKS]
- WAS THE SKILLED
HANDS OF A SURGEON.
-OKAY, BULLET-HEAD. YOU TRY.
[SAW WHIRS]
NOT LIKE THAT.
[SAW POWERS DOWN] YOUR FINGERS!
YOU WANT TO CUT
SOMETHING IMPORTANT OFF?
-I'M SORRY.
I GUESS I JUST GOT DISTRACTED.
-DISTRACTED? HUH?
WHAT ABOUT?
-WELL, SEE, IT'S MY DOG.
HE'S BEEN ACTING UP.
YOU KNOW, BARKING, EATING SHOES.
-BARKING? HUH?
OH. I KNOW THAT PROBLEM.
KNOW IT WELL.
-HOLD ON, HERE. WAS THIS
A MAN WHO COULD HELP?
A MAN WITH A LITTLE
FIELD EXPERIENCE?
MAYBE EVEN A MAN
WITH A SOLUTION?
-DO YOU HAVE A DOG?
-OH, HAD.
SMOKEY.
OH, HE WAS A REAL PAL.
SAW ME THROUGH SOME
TOUGH TIMES, THAT LITTLE DEVIL.
HE HAD THREE LEGS, YOU KNOW.
HE HATED THE FIRST MRS. NESTOR.
NOPE. YOU CAN'T BUY
LOYALTY LIKE THAT ANYMORE.
AHH, THERE'S NOTHING I
WOULDN'T DO FOR THAT LITTLE FELLA.
-AND FOR ONE SECOND, I
COULD HAVE KISSED THE GUY.
-SO, HOW'D YOU KEEP
HIM FROM BARKING?
-WE HAD HIM FIXED!
-[BARKS]
[GROWLS, BARKS]
[BARKING CONTINUES IN DISTANCE]
-HEY!
-OKAY, BUTTHEAD.
HERE'S THE DEAL.
EVERY TIME YOUR DOG BARKS,
I THROW SOMETHING AT YOU.
-[SCOFFS]
- [BARKS IN DISTANCE]
- [SIGHS]
[THUD] HEY! WAYNE, CUT IT OUT!
-WHY DON'T YOU TELL YOUR
DOG TO SHUT UP ALREADY!
-DAMN IT, KEVIN!
I'VE GOT WORK TO DO.
-[SCOFFS] LOOK, DAD, I
PUT HIM IN THE CELLAR.
-TRY SOMETHING ELSE.
-OUR FAMILY ALLIANCE
WAS FALLING APART.
IT WAS CLEAR SOMEONE HAD TO ACT.
-[SIGHS]
-[BARKS IN DISTANCE]
[BARKS]
[DOOR OPENS]
-AND, AS USUAL, IT
WAS GONNA BE ME.
IT WAS TIME TO TALK
TURKEY WITH THE POOCH.
-[SIGHS]
COME ON, BUSTER.
GIVE ME A BREAK, HUH?
GIVE US ALL A BREAK.
-[WHIMPERS]
-LOOK, BUSTER, IF
YOU STOP BARKING,
THEN MAYBE YOU WON'T
HAVE TO GO TO THE VET.
AND TRUST ME... YOU DON'T
WANT TO GO TO THE VET, OKAY?
-[GROWLS]
-BUT SOMEHOW I HAD
THE SNEAKING SUSPICION
ALL THE LOGIC IN THE WORLD
WASN'T GONNA
CHANGE THIS DOG'S MIND.
SO THERE WAS ONLY
ONE THING LEFT TO DO.
-GOOD DOG.
GOOD BOY.
-BUSTER AND I STRUCK A BARGAIN.
HE WOULDN'T BARK...
AND I WOULDN'T SLEEP.
-♪ I COULDN'T SLEEP
AT ALL LAST NIGHT ♪
♪ JUST A-THINKIN' OF YOU ♪
♪ MAYBE THINGS WEREN'T RIGHT ♪
♪ WHEN I WAS ♪
♪ TOSSIN' AND TURNIN' ♪
♪ TURNIN' AND TOSSIN' ♪
♪ A-TOSSIN' AND TURNIN'
ALL DAY, DAY, DAY ♪
-WHOEVER SAID DOG
IS MAN'S BEST FRIEND
MUST HAVE HAD A KING-SIZE BED.
-♪ TOSSIN' AND TURNIN' ♪
-STILL, OVER THE NEXT FEW DAYS,
THE PROBLEM SEEMED TO BE SOLVED.
NOT A YIP, NOT A PEEP. NOTHING.
-FINALLY.
-AND LOSING A LITTLE
SLEEP WASN'T SO BAD
IF IT KEPT THE DOGS AT BAY.
-OH, KEVIE?
WHATCHA DOING?
-I'M TRYING TO TAKE A NAP. WHY?
-OH, NOTHING.
JUST THOUGHT YOU
MIGHT WANT TO KNOW...
BUSTER...
ATE DAD'S HOMEWORK.
[CHUCKLES]
-[GROWLS]
[WHIMPERS]
- [LAUGHS]
- [BARKING]
-GLAD HE'S NOT MY DOG.
[LAUGHS]
-IT WAS PRETTY CLEAR
WHAT WAS GONNA HAPPEN
WHEN MY FATHER FOUND OUT.
-DAD'S NOT GONNA
TAKE HIM TO THE VET.
HE'S GONNA TAKE
HIM TO THE POUND.
-[BARKS]
[WHIMPERS]
-I THOUGHT ABOUT PUTTING
BUSTER ON A NIGHT FLIGHT TO SIBERIA.
BUT I KNEW SOONER OR
LATER, DAD WOULD FIND HIM.
SO I TOOK HIM TO THE PARK.
-YOU'RE IN A LOT OF
TROUBLE... YOU KNOW THAT?
DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE?
-[BARKS]
-THIS IS SERIOUS,
OKAY?! IT'S NOT FUNNY!
-BUT SUDDENLY, I WAS
FED UP WITH A DUMB MUTT
WHO ABSOLUTELY REFUSED
TO LISTEN TO REASON.
- [BARKS]
- ALL RIGHT.
FINE. BARK YOUR BRAINS
OUT. SEE WHAT I CARE.
I WASH MY HANDS
OF THE WHOLE THING.
I MEAN, BUSTER,
CAN'T YOU JUST TRY
ONCE IN A WHILE TO FIT IN?
I MEAN, ARE YOU PART
OF THIS FAMILY OR NOT?
[DOG BARKS]
-AND THEN, I GUESS
I GOT MY ANSWER.
[GRIEG'S "MORNING MOOD" PLAYS]
[DOGS BARKING]
-BUSTER, COME BACK!
[DOG BARKS]
THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE!
I'M WARNING YOU!
-[BARKS]
[DOG WHIMPERS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ON TV]
-WHAT'S THIS?
-HALFWAY THROUGH.
KEVIN! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
-I WAS AT THE PARK.
BUSTER GOT LOOSE.
I HAD TO CHASE HIM.
-YOU SAW WHAT HE DID?
GONNA BE UP ALL NIGHT
TRYING TO PATCH
THIS THING TOGETHER.
-I'M SORRY.
-[SIGHS]
-BUT SOMEHOW, DAD'S REPORT
DIDN'T SEEM ALL THAT
IMPORTANT ANYMORE.
-HEY... WHERE'S THE POOCH?
-HE RAN AWAY.
I THINK HE WANTED TO.
I LET HIM DOWN.
I THINK WE ALL LET HIM DOWN.
-I'LL GET MY COAT.
- BUSTER!
- BUSTER!
- BUSTER!
- BUSTER!
-THAT NIGHT, I THINK WE
ALL REALIZED SOMETHING...
- BUSTER!
- ABOUT BUSTER,
ABOUT OURSELVES...
- BUSTER!
- BUSTER!
- ABOUT BEING A FAMILY.
- BUSTER!
- BUSTER!
- BUSTER!
- BUSTER!
-SOMETIMES IT'S NOT ENOUGH
JUST TO ENJOY THE GOOD TIMES,
THE CUTE TIMES.
-BUSTER!
-SOMETIMES IT'S WHEN
YOUR PUPPIES GROW UP
THAT THE WORK BEGINS.
- BUSTER!
- BUSTER!
THE HARD DECISIONS.
-[SIGHS]
[ENGINE SHUTS OFF]
-[SIGHS]
OKAY.
WE'LL LOOK AGAIN
TOMORROW WHEN IT'S LIGHT.
-BUT WE ALL KNEW
IT WAS HOPELESS.
WE'D LET HIM GO.
AND THERE WAS NO
WAY WE'D EVER FIND HIM.
-[SIGHS]
[CRASH, DOG BARKS]
-UNTIL, OF COURSE...
- [BARKING]
- BUSTER FOUND US.
-BUSTER!
- BUSTER!
- BUSTER!
- BUSTER!
- OH, COME HERE, BUSTER!
-LOOK AT HOW DIRTY HE IS.
- BUSTER!
- OH, GOOD BOY!
YOU'RE A GOOD BOY!
- LOOK AT THE BOY!
-BUSTER! HELLO, SWEETHEART!
-YOU'RE SO COLD!
YOU... ARE YOU COLD?
WE MISSED YOU SO MUCH!
- WE MISSED YOU A LOT.
- OH, LOOKIT.
CAN'T BELIEVE HOW DIRTY HE IS.
- GOOD BOY.
[BILL WITHERS'
"LEAN ON ME" PLAYS]
-THE NEXT MORNING, WE
ALL TOOK BUSTER TO THE VET.
AND IN A WAY, I GUESS YOU
COULD SAY THAT BUSTER'S LOSS...
WAS ALSO HIS GAIN.
HE'D BEEN THIS LITTLE STRANGER
WHO TURNED OUT TO
BE A PART OF OUR FAMILY,
A VENERABLE MEMBER
OF THE ALLIANCE.
ONE FOR ALL, AND ALL FOR ONE.
-BUSTER.
-BUSTER, LOOK! LOOK!
-♪ WE KNOW THAT THERE'S ♪
♪ ALWAYS TOMORROW ♪
♪ LEAN ON ME ♪
-AND OVER THE YEARS,
THROUGH GOOD TIMES AND BAD...
THROUGH SEASONS
OF HOPE AND CHANGE,
HE STOOD BY US ALL.
A SILENT PARTNER,
THE FIRST ONE TO
GREET ME AT THE DOOR
WHEN I CAME HOME
FROM MY SENIOR PROM.
THE ONE WHO STARED
OUT OUR FRONT WINDOW
ON THE DAY I LEFT FOR COLLEGE.
AND MY MOM SAID HE
STAYED THERE FOR HOURS.
-♪ YOU HAVE TO BEAR ♪
♪ THAT YOU CAN'T CARRY ♪
♪ I'M RIGHT UP THE ROAD ♪
♪ I'LL SHARE YOUR LOAD ♪
♪ IF YOU JUST CALL ME ♪
-♪ CALL ME ♪
-♪ IF YOU NEED A FRIEND ♪
-♪ CALL ME ♪
-♪ CALL ME, YEAH ♪
-♪ CALL ME ♪
-♪ CALL ME ♪
-♪ CALL ME ♪
-♪ CALL ME ♪
-♪ CALL ME ♪