The Wonder Years (1988–1993): Season 3, Episode 16 - The Glee Club - full transcript
The 8th Grade Boys Glee Club can't seem to carry a tune, but a new teacher named Miss Haycock is determined to rectify that.
-♪ WHAT WOULD YOU DO
IF I SANG OUT OF TUNE? ♪
♪ WOULD YOU STAND UP
AND WALK OUT ON ME? ♪
♪ LEND ME YOUR EARS,
AND I'LL SING YOU A SONG ♪
♪ I WILL TRY NOT TO
SING OUT OF KEY, YEAH ♪
♪ OH, BABY, I GET BY ♪
- ♪ BY WITH A LITTLE HELP
FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
-♪ ALL I NEED IS MY BUDDIES ♪
-♪ HIGH WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
-♪ I'M SAYIN' I'M GONNA GET HIGHER ♪ - ♪
TRY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
-♪ WHOA-OA-OA-OA ♪
-♪ OH, OH, OH, OH ♪
-♪ SOMEBODY WHO
KNOWS QUITE SURE ♪
♪ BABY ♪
-♪ BY WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
-♪ SAID I'M GONNA MAKE
IT WITH MY FRIENDS ♪
-♪ TRY WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
-♪ OH, I'M GONNA
KEEP ON TRYING ♪
-♪ HIGH WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
♪ I'M GONNA KEEP ON
TRYING NOW, BABY ♪
-♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪
[CHOIR SINGING INDISTINCTLY]
-THE HALLS OF RFK JUNIOR HIGH
OFTEN ECHOED WITH
THE SOUNDS OF MUSIC.
THE KENNEDY CHORALE.
THE KENNEDY MADRIGALS.
AND, OF COURSE, THE
KENNEDY NOW-TONES.
THEY WERE ALL PART OF A
LONG-STANDING FAMILY OF SONG.
BUT, AS WITH EVERY FAMILY,
THERE WAS A
SKELETON IN THE CLOSET.
-[Off-key] ♪ AH, AH, AH, AH ♪
♪ AH, AH, AH ♪
♪ AH, AH, AH, AH ♪
THE BOYS' 8th-GRADE GLEE CLUB.
♪ AH, AH, AH, AH ♪
THE SINGING GROUP FROM HELL.
-OH, BOY.
-TWICE A WEEK, WE TRANSFORMED
MR. FRACE'S CHOIR ROOM
INTO KIND OF A CHAMBER
OF MUSICAL HORRORS.
-OH, MY GOSH.
-RANDY MITCHELL... BARITONE.
-♪ AH, AH, AH, AH, AH ♪
-DOUG PORTER... MONOTONE.
-♪ AH, AH, AH... ♪
-PAUL PFEIFFER...
NO TONE AT ALL.
AND, OF COURSE...
ME.
NOT THAT WE DIDN'T HAVE HEART.
IT'S JUST THAT THE
13-YEAR-OLD-MALE VOICE
ISN'T EXACTLY
DESIGNED FOR, WELL...
FOR SINGING.
-UH, HOLD THAT NOTE.
-♪ AHHH ♪
-HOLD THAT NOTE.
-WE WEREN'T THE STUFF
TABERNACLE CHOIRS ARE MADE OF.
SO, OUT OF A MUTUAL
RESPECT FOR THE ARTS...
AND HUMANITY...
WE'D REACHED AN AGREEMENT.
WE WOULDN'T PUSH MR. FRACE...
IF HE WOULDN'T PUSH US.
-ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT!
THAT'S ENOUGH!
JUST, UH, GET OUT
YOUR BOOKS AND STUDY.
-ALL IN ALL, A PRETTY
EQUITABLE ARRANGEMENT.
-IT ISN'T FAIR.
EVERY OTHER GROUP GETS TO
SING SOME SONGS AND STUFF.
WHY CAN'T WE?
-WELL, MAYBE BECAUSE WE STINK.
-THEN WHY ARE WE HERE?
-BECAUSE WE HAVE TO BE HERE.
RIGHT, WARREN?
-WARREN GANDER.
NO ONE HAD EVER
HEARD HIM SING A NOTE,
MUCH LESS SAY A WORD.
-SO, WHAT YOU'RE SAYING
IS WE'RE LOSERS, IS THAT IT?
-BUT IF PAUL WAS LOOKING
TO UNITE US IN CHORUS...
- PBHT!
- PBHT!
- HE HAD JUST HEARD
OUR BEST EFFORT.
-PBHT!
-FACE IT... WE KNEW
WHERE WE STOOD.
AT THE BOTTOM OF THE HEAP.
AND WE WERE SMART ENOUGH
NOT TO SEEK THE LIMELIGHT...
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
UNTIL, THAT IS...
THE LIMELIGHT WAS
THRUST UPON US.
-THERE.
THAT'S BETTER, ISN'T IT?
-WHO'S SHE?
[NOTE PLAYS]
-♪ MY NAME IS MISS HAYCOCK ♪
AND IF THERE'S ANYTHING I
WANT TO IMPRESS UPON YOU,
ITS...
♪ USE YOUR DIAPHRAGMS ♪
♪ ALWAYS USE YOUR DIAPHRAGMS ♪
-WHAT'D SHE SAY?
-♪ DO YOU HEAR
HOW THAT SOUNDS? ♪
♪ FULL AND SUPPORTED ♪
[PLAYS NOTE]
♪ IF YOU'RE DOING IT RIGHT ♪
♪ YOU'LL FEEL IT DOWN HERE ♪
[PLAYS NOTE]
♪ I'M THRILLED TO
BE TAKING OVER ♪
♪ THE 8th-GRADE
BOYS' GLEE CLUB ♪
[PLAYS NOTE]
♪ AND WHEN WE SING ♪
♪ WE'LL ALWAYS SING LIKE THIS ♪
[PLAYS NOTE]
♪ BECAUSE WE'RE ALWAYS
GOING TO REMEMBER ♪
♪ TO USE OUR ♪
[PLAYS NOTE]
-[Unenthused] DIAPHRAGMS.
-SHE WAS FRESH OUT OF
TEACHING SCHOOL, FULL OF IDEAS.
AND, OH, YES,
THE WOMAN WAS A TOTAL LUNATIC.
-WELL, I THINK SHE'S GREAT.
-PAUL, GET A GRIP.
-WHY, JUST BECAUSE
SHE SANG A LITTLE?
-A LITTLE?
I JUST HOPE SHE DOESN'T THINK
WE'RE GONNA SING LIKE THAT.
-WELL, MAYBE NOT AT FIRST.
BUT ONCE WE MASTER
THIS DIAPHRAGM THING...
-DIAPHRAGMS OR NO DIAPHRAGMS...
MISS HAYCOCK'S ARRIVAL
HAD SENT A SHUDDER OF
FEAR THROUGH ALL OF US.
-I DON'T WANT TO SING.
THAT'S WHY I TOOK GLEE
CLUB IN THE FIRST PLACE.
-YEAH, WHY DO WE HAVE TO HAVE
A STUDENT TEACHER, ANYWAY?
-RELAX, GUYS. THERE'S
NOTHIN' TO WORRY ABOUT.
THIS WON'T LAST LONG.
-WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
-I MEAN, THIS IS HER FIRST JOB.
SHE HAS TO LOOK
LIKE SHE'S TRYING.
-MITCHELL DID HAVE A POINT...
IN THEORY.
-MAYBE HE'S RIGHT.
MAYBE SHE'LL... GET OVER IT.
-TRUST ME, IN A COUPLE OF DAYS,
SHE'LL BE ACTING
JUST LIKE FRACE.
-PUT AWAY YOUR SONGBOOKS.
WE WON'T NEED THEM, AFTER ALL.
-AND THAT WAS THAT.
-WE'LL NEED THE ENTIRE
HOUR FOR VOICE AUDITIONS.
[SCATTERED GROANS]
WHO WANTS TO BE FIRST?
-FIRST?
WAS SHE JOKING?
-ANYONE?
-ONLY A COMPLETE DOOFUS
WOULD WANT TO BE F...
OKAY, THEN.
IT WAS TIME TO SHOW MISS HAYCOCK
EXACTLY WHO SHE WAS UP AGAINST.
IN OTHER WORDS...
IT WAS TIME TO SING.
-[Off-key] ♪ MY
COUNTRY, 'TIS OF THEE ♪
-[Off-key] ♪ SWEET
LAND OF LIBERTY ♪
-[Off-key] ♪ OF THEE I SING ♪
-[Off-key] ♪ LAND WHERE
OUR FATHERS DIED ♪
[PIANO PLAYS NOTES]
-[Passionately] ♪ FROM
EVERY MOUNTAINSIDE ♪
♪ LET FREEDOM RING ♪
-THERE.
WE'D LAID IT OUT FOR
HER... CLEAR AS A BELL.
THE FOLLY OF IT ALL.
THE HOPELESSNESS.
THE COMPLETE...
-YES! YES!
THAT'S THE KIND OF
PASSION WE ALL NEED.
-HUH?
-I FOUND THAT VERY MOVING.
THANK YOU, KEVIN!
-SURE, ANYTIME.
-ATTAWAY, CARUSO.
-ANYTIME AT ALL.
-SHE MADE YOU SING?
ALL OF YOU?
THAT I'D LIKE TO SEE.
-SHE SAID KEVIN HAD PASSION.
-REALLY?
[GIGGLES]
-SHE MADE A TOTAL FOOL OUT
OF ME, SO CAN WE JUST FORGET IT?
-WELL, I THINK SHE
SOUNDS VERY SWEET.
-SO DO I.
-RIGHT GESTURE, WRONG SHOULDER.
-WINNIE, THE WOMAN'S
A FRUITCAKE, OKAY?
IN FACT, SOMEBODY
OUGHT TO LOCK HER UP!
IN FACT, SOMEBODY OUGHT TO...
-KEVIN, THAT'S NOT VERY NICE.
-UH-OH.
-WHAT IF IT WERE ME UP THERE...
STANDING THERE,
SCARED OUT OF MY WITS,
TEACHING MY FIRST CLASS?
-UH, WELL...
-IS THAT HOW YOU'D TREAT ME?
-OKAY, THIS WAS
TRICKY... VERY TRICKY.
-MAYBE YOU SHOULD THINK MORE
ABOUT THINGS LIKE THAT, KEVIN.
-IT WAS PRETTY CLEAR I
WAS GONNA HAVE TO FIND
THE MORAL HIGHGROUND HERE...
AND FAST.
-♪ FWA ♪
♪ FWA ♪
♪ FWA ♪
♪ TO SUSTAIN THE NOTE ♪
♪ WE SIMPLY LET THE
AIR FLOW OUT GENTLY ♪
NOW, YOU TRY.
-♪ FWA ♪
-[Off-key] ♪ FWA ♪
-♪ FWA ♪
-TROUBLE IS, OUR GLEE CLUB
WASN'T EXACTLY BUILT
FOR HIGH GROUND.
WE'D BEEN WEANED
ON LOW EXPECTATIONS.
-WHY'S SHE DOING THIS TO US?
-EVEN WARREN GANDER WAS
SHOWING SIGNS OF STRAIN.
-NOW, MEN, I HAVE A
SURPRISE FOR YOU.
-GREAT. WHAT WAS
IT GONNA BE NOW?
-TODAY, WE'RE GOING TO
BEGIN OUR FIRST SONG...
"STOUT-HEARTED MEN."
I HAVE COPIES FOR ALL OF YOU.
-ALL RIGHT. THAT RIPPED IT.
NO ONE... BUT NO ONE...
HAD EVER THREATENED US WITH
AN ACTUAL MUSICAL ARRANGEMENT.
-AND, THAT'S NOT ALL.
WE'RE GOING TO BE
SINGING IT NEXT MONTH
AT THE SPRING SING CONCERT!
- WHAT?!
- WHAT?!
-I KNOW, I KNOW.
WE DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME.
BUT AS I TOLD MR. FRACE,
MY BOYS ARE UP TO IT.
AND HE AGREED!
-AND SUDDENLY IT WAS CLEAR.
OUR REPUTATION
WAS ON THE LINE, HERE.
OUR TRADITION. OUR BAD NAME.
-MISS HAYCOCK?
-YES, KEVIN.
-DO YOU REALLY THINK
THIS IS A GOOD IDEA?
-WHY NOT?
-WELL... I...
WE... JUST THINK...
-KEVIN...
WHAT IF IT WERE ME
STANDING UP HERE?
-KEVIN...
YOU THINK WHAT?
-AWWW!
-THAT...
IT WOULD BE...
FINE.
-I KNEW YOU'D ALL FEEL THAT WAY!
THINK OF IT.
WE'RE STARTING ON A NEW
ADVENTURE... TOGETHER.
-AND SO IN A FLASH,
OUR FATE WAS SEALED.
THE GLEE CLUB'S, MISS HAYCOCK'S,
AND, OF COURSE...
MINE.
[NOTES PLAY ON PIANO]
-♪ MEN, MEN, MEN ♪
♪ ALL RIGHT, BASSES ♪
-♪ MEN, MEN ♪
-OVER THE NEXT FEW WEEKS,
MISS HAYCOCK STRUGGLED
TO BRING OUT OUR BEST...
-♪ NOW, TENORS ♪
♪ AHHH ♪
-♪ AHHH ♪
- WHICH, COINCIDENTALLY,
HAPPENED TO BE OUR WORST.
-SPLENDID! NOW, REMEMBER.
DIAPHRAGMS.
DIAPHRAGMS!
-MEANWHILE, I FOUND
MYSELF TRAPPED
BETWEEN RAW ENTHUSIASM
AND OUTRIGHT MALICE.
-OW!
HEY!
-NICE GOIN', ARNOLD.
-WHAT'S THAT FOR?
-"THAT'D BE GREAT, MISS HAYCOCK.
WE'D LOVE TO SING
IN THE SPRING SING."
-COME ON, I DIDN'T SAY THAT.
-WELL, NOT EXACTLY.
-WE'RE GONNA LOOK LIKE IDIOTS
IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE SCHOOL,
NOT TO MENTION OUR PARENTS.
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
-WELL, FOR ONE THING,
WE'RE NOT GONNA
MENTION IT TO OUR PARENTS.
DEAL?
-THERE'S SOMETHING
ELSE WE COULD DO.
WE COULD PRACTICE.
-LOOK, YOU GOT US
INTO THIS, ARNOLD.
SO YOU GOT TO GET US OUT.
-HOW?
-TALK TO HER.
-SHE'S NEVER GONNA LISTEN TO ME.
-WHY NOT? YOU'RE MR. PASSION.
YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE
SHE WILL LISTEN TO.
-TALK TO HER.
OUR LIVES ARE DEPENDING ON IT.
-EASY FOR THEM TO SAY.
BUT HOW DO YOU TALK TO SOMEONE
WHO CAN'T EVEN HEAR?
[GLEE CLUB SINGING]
-EXCELLENT! EXCELLENT!
-THE FACT WAS, EVEN
THOUGH WE SANG HARMONIES
THAT WOULD MAKE QUASIMODO WINCE,
CHORDS NOT FOUND IN NATURE...
-GOOD!
BETTER!
- NOTHING DETERRED MISS HAYCOCK.
WITH A WISDOM BORN
OF WEEKS OF EXPERIENCE,
SHE PUSHED ON,
BLINDLY... NO! DEAFLY...
TOWARD A GOAL THAT WAS
OBVIOUSLY BEYOND OUR GRASP.
-I KNOW. LET'S MARCH IN PLACE.
LET'S TRY THAT. COME ON.
-WE WANTED TO BELIEVE IN HER.
BUT IT WAS PRETTY
CLEAR, SOONER OR LATER,
SOMEONE WAS GONNA
HAVE TO BURST THIS BUBBLE...
SOMEONE LIKE...
-Psst! ARNOLD.
[CLEARS THROAT]
- ME.
-♪ MAN TO MAN ♪
-IT'S NOW OR NEVER, ARNOLD.
-AH, WHAT THE HECK?
WAS I A STOUT-HEARTED MAN...
OR A CRAVEN COWARD?
-MISS HAYCOCK?
-YES, KEVIN?
-WE'VE BEEN THINKING
THIS WHOLE THING OVER.
AND...
SEE...
WE DON'T REALLY WANNA
BE IN THE SPRING SING.
IT'S JUST THAT...
WE'RE NOT ANY GOOD.
SO...
MAYBE WE SHOULDN'T DO IT.
-THERE. DIFFICULT, OF COURSE,
BUT BEST FOR EVERYONE CONCERNED.
-YOU... REALLY FEEL THIS WAY?
ALL OF YOU?
- MM-HMM.
- YEAH.
-I SEE.
WELL... I HAD NO IDEA.
-AND THERE YOU HAD IT.
WE'D FINALLY GOTTEN
THROUGH TO HER.
MISS HAYCOCK WAS
COMING TO HER SENSES.
SHE WAS GOING TO SEE REASON.
SHE WAS GOING...
-[CRYING SOFTLY]
- TO CRY.
-[CRYING INTENSIFIES]
-NEEDLESS TO SAY, WE HANDLED
IT WITH A CERTAIN MATURITY.
-WELL, WHAT YOU DO
THAT FOR, ARNOLD?
-ME?! YOU TOLD ME TO!
-WAY TO GO, KEV.
-I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT.
-YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO
TALK TO HER, NOT MAKE HER CRY.
-[CRYING CONTINUES]
-WE HAD NO IDEA WHAT TO DO NEXT.
THE ONLY THING THAT
COULD HELP US NOW
WAS A MIRACLE.
AND THEN... IT HAPPENED.
[WARREN VOCALIZING]
[VOCALIZING CONTINUES]
IT TOOK THE TEARS
OF A STUDENT TEACHER
TO BRING A SONG TO THE
LIPS OF WARREN GANDER.
-[VOCALIZING CONTINUES]
-♪ MEN, MEN, MEN,
MEN, MEN, MEN, MEN... ♪
-♪ MEN, MEN, MEN,
MEN, MEN, MEN... ♪
-♪ MEN, MEN, MEN, MEN,
MEN, MEN, MEN, MEN, MEN ♪
-AND THE REST IS HISTORY.
-♪ MEN, MEN, MEN,
MEN, MEN, MEN... ♪
-♪ LEND ME SOME MEN WHO
ARE STOUT-HEARTED MEN ♪
♪ WHO WILL FIGHT FOR
THE RIGHT THEY ADORE ♪
-♪ START ME WITH TEN WHO
ARE STOUT-HEARTED MEN ♪
-AND SO BEGAN THE GREAT
GLEE CLUB COMEBACK OF 1970.
-♪ GIVE ME SOME MEN... ♪
-THERE WERE ONLY TWO WEEKS
LEFT BEFORE THE BIG SPRING SING,
BUT DURING THOSE TWO
WEEKS, WE BREATHED, SLEPT,
AND ATE "STOUT-HEARTED MEN".
-♪ AND I'LL SOON GIVE
YOU 10,000 MORE ♪
-IT BECAME OUR ANTHEM,
OUR BATTLE CRY...
[HORN HONKING]
AS WE RALLIED 'ROUND
OUR SECRET WEAPON.
-♪ THEN THERE'S
NOTHING IN THE WORLD... ♪
-IT WAS KIND OF... INFECTIOUS.
-♪ ...A PLAN ♪
♪ WHEN STOUT-HEARTED... ♪
-AND WHEN THE DAY
HAD FINALLY ARRIVED...
WE HAD GONE FROM HORRIBLE TO...
-♪ MAN TO ♪
-♪ MAN ♪
[FINALE PLAYS]
-MAGNIFICENT!
-WELL, ANYWAY, WE WERE READY...
[CHOIR SINGING INDISTINCTLY]
-♪ TILL YOU FIND YOUR DREAMS ♪
[APPLAUSE]
-I'M NOT READY FOR THIS.
-SURE YOU ARE.
-NO, I'M NOT.
-OH, COME ON, PAUL.
IT'S JUST ONE SONG.
- OR SO I KEPT TELLING MYSELF.
-LOOK AROUND.
THESE GUYS ARE
PRACTICALLY PROFESSIONALS.
PEOPLE ARE PAYING A
BUCK-FIFTY TO SEE THEM...
AND US.
[SNEEZES]
-UH-OH.
THAT SNEEZE WAS A BAD SIGN.
-[SNEEZES]
-A VERY BAD SIGN.
-TAKE A DEEP BREATH.
YOU KNOW HOW YOU
GET ONCE IT STARTS.
-IT'S MY NERVES.
-COME ON, PAUL, WHAT'S
THERE TO BE NERVOUS ABOUT?
REMEMBER?
WE'VE GOT WARREN.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]
-HEY, YOU GUYS ARE IN THE
8th-GRADE GLEE CLUB, RIGHT?
CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR YOU SING.
-YOU TOO. WHAT ARE YOU SINGING?
-WE'RE STARTING OUT WITH
THOMSON'S "HALLELUJAH,"
THEN "PATER NOSTER,
QUI ES IN CAELIS"...
THE VULPIUS VERSION.
THEN SOMETHING
A LITTLE LIGHTER...
SOME SELECTIONS
FROM "LA BOHèME."
HOW ABOUT YOU?
- "VULPIUS"?
"LA BOHèME"?
- "STOUT-HEARTED MEN."
- [SNEEZES]
-HERE THEY ARE...
MY BOYS.
COME ON, EVERYBODY.
GATHER 'ROUND.
I BROUGHT SOMETHING FOR YOU.
HERE. PASS THESE OUT.
EVERYONE GETS ONE.
-YEP, MISS HAYCOCK
WAS IN HER ELEMENT...
WHATEVER ELEMENT THAT WAS.
-I'M SO PROUD OF YOU ALL.
EVER SINCE I WAS
A LITTLE GIRL...
-NO, GEEZ, DON'T TELL US
THIS. WE DON'T WANT TO...
- I'VE DREAMED OF STANDING
UP IN FRONT OF A CHOIR
AND MOLDING THEM IN SONG.
TONIGHT WILL BE
MY VERY FIRST TIME,
AND I HAVE YOU
TO THANK... MY MEN.
I'LL NEVER FORGET ANY OF YOU.
-THE FUNNY THING IS, IN A WAY,
THAT TURNED OUT TO BE TRUE.
-ALL RIGHT. LET'S LINE UP.
WE'RE NEXT.
-AND SO FROM THE MURKY
DEPTHS OF MR. FRACE'S CHOIR ROOM,
THE 8th-GRADE BOYS GLEE CLUB
FINALLY STEPPED INTO THE LIGHT.
[LIGHT APPLAUSE]
SURE, WE HAD MISGIVINGS.
BUT GAZING DOWN ON MISS
HAYCOCK'S CONFIDENT FACE,
WE KNEW WE HAD NOTHING TO FEAR.
SHE BELIEVED IN US.
AND, OF COURSE, WE BELIEVED...
IN WARREN.
[PIANO PLAYS INTRODUCTION]
BUT AS I LOOK
BACK ON THAT NIGHT,
IT ISN'T THE ANTICIPATION
I REMEMBER BEST,
AND IT ISN'T THE
FACES IN THE AUDIENCE.
-♪ AHHHHHHHHHH ♪
-WHAT I REMEMBER BEST
IS THAT WARREN GANDER'S VOICE
CHOSE EXACTLY THAT MOMENT...
-[CROAKS]
- TO CHANGE.
[AUDIENCE MURMURING]
-♪ AHHHHHHHHH ♪
[CROAKS]
-IT WAS CRUEL.
IN FRONT OF OUR VERY EYES,
WARREN HAD TRANSFORMED
FROM LYRIC TENOR...
TO...
-[CROAKS]
- WELL, A BULLFROG.
[MURMURING, LIGHT LAUGHTER]
SO THE REST OF US DID
THE ONLY THING WE COULD...
WE PANICKED.
-Keep going!
[PIANO PLAYS INTRODUCTION]
Keep going!
- MEN.
- MEN.
- MEN.
- MEN.
- MEN.
- MEN.
- MEN.
- MEN.
-BUT THE DIE WAS CAST.
-[SNEEZES]
-PAUL SNEEZED...
-[SNEEZES]
- WHICH WAS TOO MUCH FOR DOUG.
[THUD]
SOMEBODY LAUGHED,
AND I DROPPED MY MUSIC.
-Keep going!
-[SNEEZES]
-IT WAS KIND OF
A CHAIN REACTION.
-[SNEEZES]
-I'D LIKE TO SAY WE RALLIED...
-[SNEEZES]
-BUT... WE DIDN'T.
[DISORGANIZED SINGING, TALKING]
[DISORGANIZED SINGING CONTINUES]
MEN. MEN. MEN.
- MEN.
- MEN.
-[SNEEZES]
[SNEEZES]
-IT WAS NO ONE'S FAULT, REALLY.
I GUESS WE'D JUST BEEN
PUSHED BEYOND OUR LIMITS.
WE WE'RE A BUNCH
OF 8th-GRADE BOYS,
NOT AN ENSEMBLE OF
STOUT-HEARTED MEN.
[LIGHT APPLAUSE]
[APPLAUSE INTENSIFIES]
AS FOR MISS HAYCOCK,
SHE'D DREAMED OF MOLDING
US INTO SOMETHING WE WEREN'T.
BUT THAT NIGHT, SHE
GOT HER WAKE-UP CALL.
-♪ GIVE ME SOME MEN WHO
ARE STOUT-HEARTED MEN... ♪
-THE ONLY PROBLEM WAS...
SHE WASN'T THERE TO ANSWER IT.
-[SNEEZES]
-WE NEVER FOUND OUT WHERE
MISS HAYCOCK DISAPPEARED TO,
ALTHOUGH SOME SAID SHE'D
GONE BACK TO COLLEGE.
STILL, I LIKE TO THINK
THAT WHEREVER SHE IS
THERE'S A WARM SPOT IN HER HEART
FOR THE 8th-GRADE
BOYS' GLEE CLUB.
AFTER ALL, WE'D
LEARNED FROM HER,
AND IN A WAY... SHE'D
LEARNED FROM US.
WE'D LEARNED TOGETHER...
-♪ MAN TO MAN ♪
- OR SO I LIKE TO TELL MYSELF.
[FINALE PLAYS]
[PAUL SNEEZES]
IF I SANG OUT OF TUNE? ♪
♪ WOULD YOU STAND UP
AND WALK OUT ON ME? ♪
♪ LEND ME YOUR EARS,
AND I'LL SING YOU A SONG ♪
♪ I WILL TRY NOT TO
SING OUT OF KEY, YEAH ♪
♪ OH, BABY, I GET BY ♪
- ♪ BY WITH A LITTLE HELP
FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
-♪ ALL I NEED IS MY BUDDIES ♪
-♪ HIGH WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
-♪ I'M SAYIN' I'M GONNA GET HIGHER ♪ - ♪
TRY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
-♪ WHOA-OA-OA-OA ♪
-♪ OH, OH, OH, OH ♪
-♪ SOMEBODY WHO
KNOWS QUITE SURE ♪
♪ BABY ♪
-♪ BY WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
-♪ SAID I'M GONNA MAKE
IT WITH MY FRIENDS ♪
-♪ TRY WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
-♪ OH, I'M GONNA
KEEP ON TRYING ♪
-♪ HIGH WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
♪ I'M GONNA KEEP ON
TRYING NOW, BABY ♪
-♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪
[CHOIR SINGING INDISTINCTLY]
-THE HALLS OF RFK JUNIOR HIGH
OFTEN ECHOED WITH
THE SOUNDS OF MUSIC.
THE KENNEDY CHORALE.
THE KENNEDY MADRIGALS.
AND, OF COURSE, THE
KENNEDY NOW-TONES.
THEY WERE ALL PART OF A
LONG-STANDING FAMILY OF SONG.
BUT, AS WITH EVERY FAMILY,
THERE WAS A
SKELETON IN THE CLOSET.
-[Off-key] ♪ AH, AH, AH, AH ♪
♪ AH, AH, AH ♪
♪ AH, AH, AH, AH ♪
THE BOYS' 8th-GRADE GLEE CLUB.
♪ AH, AH, AH, AH ♪
THE SINGING GROUP FROM HELL.
-OH, BOY.
-TWICE A WEEK, WE TRANSFORMED
MR. FRACE'S CHOIR ROOM
INTO KIND OF A CHAMBER
OF MUSICAL HORRORS.
-OH, MY GOSH.
-RANDY MITCHELL... BARITONE.
-♪ AH, AH, AH, AH, AH ♪
-DOUG PORTER... MONOTONE.
-♪ AH, AH, AH... ♪
-PAUL PFEIFFER...
NO TONE AT ALL.
AND, OF COURSE...
ME.
NOT THAT WE DIDN'T HAVE HEART.
IT'S JUST THAT THE
13-YEAR-OLD-MALE VOICE
ISN'T EXACTLY
DESIGNED FOR, WELL...
FOR SINGING.
-UH, HOLD THAT NOTE.
-♪ AHHH ♪
-HOLD THAT NOTE.
-WE WEREN'T THE STUFF
TABERNACLE CHOIRS ARE MADE OF.
SO, OUT OF A MUTUAL
RESPECT FOR THE ARTS...
AND HUMANITY...
WE'D REACHED AN AGREEMENT.
WE WOULDN'T PUSH MR. FRACE...
IF HE WOULDN'T PUSH US.
-ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT!
THAT'S ENOUGH!
JUST, UH, GET OUT
YOUR BOOKS AND STUDY.
-ALL IN ALL, A PRETTY
EQUITABLE ARRANGEMENT.
-IT ISN'T FAIR.
EVERY OTHER GROUP GETS TO
SING SOME SONGS AND STUFF.
WHY CAN'T WE?
-WELL, MAYBE BECAUSE WE STINK.
-THEN WHY ARE WE HERE?
-BECAUSE WE HAVE TO BE HERE.
RIGHT, WARREN?
-WARREN GANDER.
NO ONE HAD EVER
HEARD HIM SING A NOTE,
MUCH LESS SAY A WORD.
-SO, WHAT YOU'RE SAYING
IS WE'RE LOSERS, IS THAT IT?
-BUT IF PAUL WAS LOOKING
TO UNITE US IN CHORUS...
- PBHT!
- PBHT!
- HE HAD JUST HEARD
OUR BEST EFFORT.
-PBHT!
-FACE IT... WE KNEW
WHERE WE STOOD.
AT THE BOTTOM OF THE HEAP.
AND WE WERE SMART ENOUGH
NOT TO SEEK THE LIMELIGHT...
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
UNTIL, THAT IS...
THE LIMELIGHT WAS
THRUST UPON US.
-THERE.
THAT'S BETTER, ISN'T IT?
-WHO'S SHE?
[NOTE PLAYS]
-♪ MY NAME IS MISS HAYCOCK ♪
AND IF THERE'S ANYTHING I
WANT TO IMPRESS UPON YOU,
ITS...
♪ USE YOUR DIAPHRAGMS ♪
♪ ALWAYS USE YOUR DIAPHRAGMS ♪
-WHAT'D SHE SAY?
-♪ DO YOU HEAR
HOW THAT SOUNDS? ♪
♪ FULL AND SUPPORTED ♪
[PLAYS NOTE]
♪ IF YOU'RE DOING IT RIGHT ♪
♪ YOU'LL FEEL IT DOWN HERE ♪
[PLAYS NOTE]
♪ I'M THRILLED TO
BE TAKING OVER ♪
♪ THE 8th-GRADE
BOYS' GLEE CLUB ♪
[PLAYS NOTE]
♪ AND WHEN WE SING ♪
♪ WE'LL ALWAYS SING LIKE THIS ♪
[PLAYS NOTE]
♪ BECAUSE WE'RE ALWAYS
GOING TO REMEMBER ♪
♪ TO USE OUR ♪
[PLAYS NOTE]
-[Unenthused] DIAPHRAGMS.
-SHE WAS FRESH OUT OF
TEACHING SCHOOL, FULL OF IDEAS.
AND, OH, YES,
THE WOMAN WAS A TOTAL LUNATIC.
-WELL, I THINK SHE'S GREAT.
-PAUL, GET A GRIP.
-WHY, JUST BECAUSE
SHE SANG A LITTLE?
-A LITTLE?
I JUST HOPE SHE DOESN'T THINK
WE'RE GONNA SING LIKE THAT.
-WELL, MAYBE NOT AT FIRST.
BUT ONCE WE MASTER
THIS DIAPHRAGM THING...
-DIAPHRAGMS OR NO DIAPHRAGMS...
MISS HAYCOCK'S ARRIVAL
HAD SENT A SHUDDER OF
FEAR THROUGH ALL OF US.
-I DON'T WANT TO SING.
THAT'S WHY I TOOK GLEE
CLUB IN THE FIRST PLACE.
-YEAH, WHY DO WE HAVE TO HAVE
A STUDENT TEACHER, ANYWAY?
-RELAX, GUYS. THERE'S
NOTHIN' TO WORRY ABOUT.
THIS WON'T LAST LONG.
-WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
-I MEAN, THIS IS HER FIRST JOB.
SHE HAS TO LOOK
LIKE SHE'S TRYING.
-MITCHELL DID HAVE A POINT...
IN THEORY.
-MAYBE HE'S RIGHT.
MAYBE SHE'LL... GET OVER IT.
-TRUST ME, IN A COUPLE OF DAYS,
SHE'LL BE ACTING
JUST LIKE FRACE.
-PUT AWAY YOUR SONGBOOKS.
WE WON'T NEED THEM, AFTER ALL.
-AND THAT WAS THAT.
-WE'LL NEED THE ENTIRE
HOUR FOR VOICE AUDITIONS.
[SCATTERED GROANS]
WHO WANTS TO BE FIRST?
-FIRST?
WAS SHE JOKING?
-ANYONE?
-ONLY A COMPLETE DOOFUS
WOULD WANT TO BE F...
OKAY, THEN.
IT WAS TIME TO SHOW MISS HAYCOCK
EXACTLY WHO SHE WAS UP AGAINST.
IN OTHER WORDS...
IT WAS TIME TO SING.
-[Off-key] ♪ MY
COUNTRY, 'TIS OF THEE ♪
-[Off-key] ♪ SWEET
LAND OF LIBERTY ♪
-[Off-key] ♪ OF THEE I SING ♪
-[Off-key] ♪ LAND WHERE
OUR FATHERS DIED ♪
[PIANO PLAYS NOTES]
-[Passionately] ♪ FROM
EVERY MOUNTAINSIDE ♪
♪ LET FREEDOM RING ♪
-THERE.
WE'D LAID IT OUT FOR
HER... CLEAR AS A BELL.
THE FOLLY OF IT ALL.
THE HOPELESSNESS.
THE COMPLETE...
-YES! YES!
THAT'S THE KIND OF
PASSION WE ALL NEED.
-HUH?
-I FOUND THAT VERY MOVING.
THANK YOU, KEVIN!
-SURE, ANYTIME.
-ATTAWAY, CARUSO.
-ANYTIME AT ALL.
-SHE MADE YOU SING?
ALL OF YOU?
THAT I'D LIKE TO SEE.
-SHE SAID KEVIN HAD PASSION.
-REALLY?
[GIGGLES]
-SHE MADE A TOTAL FOOL OUT
OF ME, SO CAN WE JUST FORGET IT?
-WELL, I THINK SHE
SOUNDS VERY SWEET.
-SO DO I.
-RIGHT GESTURE, WRONG SHOULDER.
-WINNIE, THE WOMAN'S
A FRUITCAKE, OKAY?
IN FACT, SOMEBODY
OUGHT TO LOCK HER UP!
IN FACT, SOMEBODY OUGHT TO...
-KEVIN, THAT'S NOT VERY NICE.
-UH-OH.
-WHAT IF IT WERE ME UP THERE...
STANDING THERE,
SCARED OUT OF MY WITS,
TEACHING MY FIRST CLASS?
-UH, WELL...
-IS THAT HOW YOU'D TREAT ME?
-OKAY, THIS WAS
TRICKY... VERY TRICKY.
-MAYBE YOU SHOULD THINK MORE
ABOUT THINGS LIKE THAT, KEVIN.
-IT WAS PRETTY CLEAR I
WAS GONNA HAVE TO FIND
THE MORAL HIGHGROUND HERE...
AND FAST.
-♪ FWA ♪
♪ FWA ♪
♪ FWA ♪
♪ TO SUSTAIN THE NOTE ♪
♪ WE SIMPLY LET THE
AIR FLOW OUT GENTLY ♪
NOW, YOU TRY.
-♪ FWA ♪
-[Off-key] ♪ FWA ♪
-♪ FWA ♪
-TROUBLE IS, OUR GLEE CLUB
WASN'T EXACTLY BUILT
FOR HIGH GROUND.
WE'D BEEN WEANED
ON LOW EXPECTATIONS.
-WHY'S SHE DOING THIS TO US?
-EVEN WARREN GANDER WAS
SHOWING SIGNS OF STRAIN.
-NOW, MEN, I HAVE A
SURPRISE FOR YOU.
-GREAT. WHAT WAS
IT GONNA BE NOW?
-TODAY, WE'RE GOING TO
BEGIN OUR FIRST SONG...
"STOUT-HEARTED MEN."
I HAVE COPIES FOR ALL OF YOU.
-ALL RIGHT. THAT RIPPED IT.
NO ONE... BUT NO ONE...
HAD EVER THREATENED US WITH
AN ACTUAL MUSICAL ARRANGEMENT.
-AND, THAT'S NOT ALL.
WE'RE GOING TO BE
SINGING IT NEXT MONTH
AT THE SPRING SING CONCERT!
- WHAT?!
- WHAT?!
-I KNOW, I KNOW.
WE DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME.
BUT AS I TOLD MR. FRACE,
MY BOYS ARE UP TO IT.
AND HE AGREED!
-AND SUDDENLY IT WAS CLEAR.
OUR REPUTATION
WAS ON THE LINE, HERE.
OUR TRADITION. OUR BAD NAME.
-MISS HAYCOCK?
-YES, KEVIN.
-DO YOU REALLY THINK
THIS IS A GOOD IDEA?
-WHY NOT?
-WELL... I...
WE... JUST THINK...
-KEVIN...
WHAT IF IT WERE ME
STANDING UP HERE?
-KEVIN...
YOU THINK WHAT?
-AWWW!
-THAT...
IT WOULD BE...
FINE.
-I KNEW YOU'D ALL FEEL THAT WAY!
THINK OF IT.
WE'RE STARTING ON A NEW
ADVENTURE... TOGETHER.
-AND SO IN A FLASH,
OUR FATE WAS SEALED.
THE GLEE CLUB'S, MISS HAYCOCK'S,
AND, OF COURSE...
MINE.
[NOTES PLAY ON PIANO]
-♪ MEN, MEN, MEN ♪
♪ ALL RIGHT, BASSES ♪
-♪ MEN, MEN ♪
-OVER THE NEXT FEW WEEKS,
MISS HAYCOCK STRUGGLED
TO BRING OUT OUR BEST...
-♪ NOW, TENORS ♪
♪ AHHH ♪
-♪ AHHH ♪
- WHICH, COINCIDENTALLY,
HAPPENED TO BE OUR WORST.
-SPLENDID! NOW, REMEMBER.
DIAPHRAGMS.
DIAPHRAGMS!
-MEANWHILE, I FOUND
MYSELF TRAPPED
BETWEEN RAW ENTHUSIASM
AND OUTRIGHT MALICE.
-OW!
HEY!
-NICE GOIN', ARNOLD.
-WHAT'S THAT FOR?
-"THAT'D BE GREAT, MISS HAYCOCK.
WE'D LOVE TO SING
IN THE SPRING SING."
-COME ON, I DIDN'T SAY THAT.
-WELL, NOT EXACTLY.
-WE'RE GONNA LOOK LIKE IDIOTS
IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE SCHOOL,
NOT TO MENTION OUR PARENTS.
WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?
-WELL, FOR ONE THING,
WE'RE NOT GONNA
MENTION IT TO OUR PARENTS.
DEAL?
-THERE'S SOMETHING
ELSE WE COULD DO.
WE COULD PRACTICE.
-LOOK, YOU GOT US
INTO THIS, ARNOLD.
SO YOU GOT TO GET US OUT.
-HOW?
-TALK TO HER.
-SHE'S NEVER GONNA LISTEN TO ME.
-WHY NOT? YOU'RE MR. PASSION.
YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE
SHE WILL LISTEN TO.
-TALK TO HER.
OUR LIVES ARE DEPENDING ON IT.
-EASY FOR THEM TO SAY.
BUT HOW DO YOU TALK TO SOMEONE
WHO CAN'T EVEN HEAR?
[GLEE CLUB SINGING]
-EXCELLENT! EXCELLENT!
-THE FACT WAS, EVEN
THOUGH WE SANG HARMONIES
THAT WOULD MAKE QUASIMODO WINCE,
CHORDS NOT FOUND IN NATURE...
-GOOD!
BETTER!
- NOTHING DETERRED MISS HAYCOCK.
WITH A WISDOM BORN
OF WEEKS OF EXPERIENCE,
SHE PUSHED ON,
BLINDLY... NO! DEAFLY...
TOWARD A GOAL THAT WAS
OBVIOUSLY BEYOND OUR GRASP.
-I KNOW. LET'S MARCH IN PLACE.
LET'S TRY THAT. COME ON.
-WE WANTED TO BELIEVE IN HER.
BUT IT WAS PRETTY
CLEAR, SOONER OR LATER,
SOMEONE WAS GONNA
HAVE TO BURST THIS BUBBLE...
SOMEONE LIKE...
-Psst! ARNOLD.
[CLEARS THROAT]
- ME.
-♪ MAN TO MAN ♪
-IT'S NOW OR NEVER, ARNOLD.
-AH, WHAT THE HECK?
WAS I A STOUT-HEARTED MAN...
OR A CRAVEN COWARD?
-MISS HAYCOCK?
-YES, KEVIN?
-WE'VE BEEN THINKING
THIS WHOLE THING OVER.
AND...
SEE...
WE DON'T REALLY WANNA
BE IN THE SPRING SING.
IT'S JUST THAT...
WE'RE NOT ANY GOOD.
SO...
MAYBE WE SHOULDN'T DO IT.
-THERE. DIFFICULT, OF COURSE,
BUT BEST FOR EVERYONE CONCERNED.
-YOU... REALLY FEEL THIS WAY?
ALL OF YOU?
- MM-HMM.
- YEAH.
-I SEE.
WELL... I HAD NO IDEA.
-AND THERE YOU HAD IT.
WE'D FINALLY GOTTEN
THROUGH TO HER.
MISS HAYCOCK WAS
COMING TO HER SENSES.
SHE WAS GOING TO SEE REASON.
SHE WAS GOING...
-[CRYING SOFTLY]
- TO CRY.
-[CRYING INTENSIFIES]
-NEEDLESS TO SAY, WE HANDLED
IT WITH A CERTAIN MATURITY.
-WELL, WHAT YOU DO
THAT FOR, ARNOLD?
-ME?! YOU TOLD ME TO!
-WAY TO GO, KEV.
-I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT.
-YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO
TALK TO HER, NOT MAKE HER CRY.
-[CRYING CONTINUES]
-WE HAD NO IDEA WHAT TO DO NEXT.
THE ONLY THING THAT
COULD HELP US NOW
WAS A MIRACLE.
AND THEN... IT HAPPENED.
[WARREN VOCALIZING]
[VOCALIZING CONTINUES]
IT TOOK THE TEARS
OF A STUDENT TEACHER
TO BRING A SONG TO THE
LIPS OF WARREN GANDER.
-[VOCALIZING CONTINUES]
-♪ MEN, MEN, MEN,
MEN, MEN, MEN, MEN... ♪
-♪ MEN, MEN, MEN,
MEN, MEN, MEN... ♪
-♪ MEN, MEN, MEN, MEN,
MEN, MEN, MEN, MEN, MEN ♪
-AND THE REST IS HISTORY.
-♪ MEN, MEN, MEN,
MEN, MEN, MEN... ♪
-♪ LEND ME SOME MEN WHO
ARE STOUT-HEARTED MEN ♪
♪ WHO WILL FIGHT FOR
THE RIGHT THEY ADORE ♪
-♪ START ME WITH TEN WHO
ARE STOUT-HEARTED MEN ♪
-AND SO BEGAN THE GREAT
GLEE CLUB COMEBACK OF 1970.
-♪ GIVE ME SOME MEN... ♪
-THERE WERE ONLY TWO WEEKS
LEFT BEFORE THE BIG SPRING SING,
BUT DURING THOSE TWO
WEEKS, WE BREATHED, SLEPT,
AND ATE "STOUT-HEARTED MEN".
-♪ AND I'LL SOON GIVE
YOU 10,000 MORE ♪
-IT BECAME OUR ANTHEM,
OUR BATTLE CRY...
[HORN HONKING]
AS WE RALLIED 'ROUND
OUR SECRET WEAPON.
-♪ THEN THERE'S
NOTHING IN THE WORLD... ♪
-IT WAS KIND OF... INFECTIOUS.
-♪ ...A PLAN ♪
♪ WHEN STOUT-HEARTED... ♪
-AND WHEN THE DAY
HAD FINALLY ARRIVED...
WE HAD GONE FROM HORRIBLE TO...
-♪ MAN TO ♪
-♪ MAN ♪
[FINALE PLAYS]
-MAGNIFICENT!
-WELL, ANYWAY, WE WERE READY...
[CHOIR SINGING INDISTINCTLY]
-♪ TILL YOU FIND YOUR DREAMS ♪
[APPLAUSE]
-I'M NOT READY FOR THIS.
-SURE YOU ARE.
-NO, I'M NOT.
-OH, COME ON, PAUL.
IT'S JUST ONE SONG.
- OR SO I KEPT TELLING MYSELF.
-LOOK AROUND.
THESE GUYS ARE
PRACTICALLY PROFESSIONALS.
PEOPLE ARE PAYING A
BUCK-FIFTY TO SEE THEM...
AND US.
[SNEEZES]
-UH-OH.
THAT SNEEZE WAS A BAD SIGN.
-[SNEEZES]
-A VERY BAD SIGN.
-TAKE A DEEP BREATH.
YOU KNOW HOW YOU
GET ONCE IT STARTS.
-IT'S MY NERVES.
-COME ON, PAUL, WHAT'S
THERE TO BE NERVOUS ABOUT?
REMEMBER?
WE'VE GOT WARREN.
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]
-HEY, YOU GUYS ARE IN THE
8th-GRADE GLEE CLUB, RIGHT?
CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR YOU SING.
-YOU TOO. WHAT ARE YOU SINGING?
-WE'RE STARTING OUT WITH
THOMSON'S "HALLELUJAH,"
THEN "PATER NOSTER,
QUI ES IN CAELIS"...
THE VULPIUS VERSION.
THEN SOMETHING
A LITTLE LIGHTER...
SOME SELECTIONS
FROM "LA BOHèME."
HOW ABOUT YOU?
- "VULPIUS"?
"LA BOHèME"?
- "STOUT-HEARTED MEN."
- [SNEEZES]
-HERE THEY ARE...
MY BOYS.
COME ON, EVERYBODY.
GATHER 'ROUND.
I BROUGHT SOMETHING FOR YOU.
HERE. PASS THESE OUT.
EVERYONE GETS ONE.
-YEP, MISS HAYCOCK
WAS IN HER ELEMENT...
WHATEVER ELEMENT THAT WAS.
-I'M SO PROUD OF YOU ALL.
EVER SINCE I WAS
A LITTLE GIRL...
-NO, GEEZ, DON'T TELL US
THIS. WE DON'T WANT TO...
- I'VE DREAMED OF STANDING
UP IN FRONT OF A CHOIR
AND MOLDING THEM IN SONG.
TONIGHT WILL BE
MY VERY FIRST TIME,
AND I HAVE YOU
TO THANK... MY MEN.
I'LL NEVER FORGET ANY OF YOU.
-THE FUNNY THING IS, IN A WAY,
THAT TURNED OUT TO BE TRUE.
-ALL RIGHT. LET'S LINE UP.
WE'RE NEXT.
-AND SO FROM THE MURKY
DEPTHS OF MR. FRACE'S CHOIR ROOM,
THE 8th-GRADE BOYS GLEE CLUB
FINALLY STEPPED INTO THE LIGHT.
[LIGHT APPLAUSE]
SURE, WE HAD MISGIVINGS.
BUT GAZING DOWN ON MISS
HAYCOCK'S CONFIDENT FACE,
WE KNEW WE HAD NOTHING TO FEAR.
SHE BELIEVED IN US.
AND, OF COURSE, WE BELIEVED...
IN WARREN.
[PIANO PLAYS INTRODUCTION]
BUT AS I LOOK
BACK ON THAT NIGHT,
IT ISN'T THE ANTICIPATION
I REMEMBER BEST,
AND IT ISN'T THE
FACES IN THE AUDIENCE.
-♪ AHHHHHHHHHH ♪
-WHAT I REMEMBER BEST
IS THAT WARREN GANDER'S VOICE
CHOSE EXACTLY THAT MOMENT...
-[CROAKS]
- TO CHANGE.
[AUDIENCE MURMURING]
-♪ AHHHHHHHHH ♪
[CROAKS]
-IT WAS CRUEL.
IN FRONT OF OUR VERY EYES,
WARREN HAD TRANSFORMED
FROM LYRIC TENOR...
TO...
-[CROAKS]
- WELL, A BULLFROG.
[MURMURING, LIGHT LAUGHTER]
SO THE REST OF US DID
THE ONLY THING WE COULD...
WE PANICKED.
-Keep going!
[PIANO PLAYS INTRODUCTION]
Keep going!
- MEN.
- MEN.
- MEN.
- MEN.
- MEN.
- MEN.
- MEN.
- MEN.
-BUT THE DIE WAS CAST.
-[SNEEZES]
-PAUL SNEEZED...
-[SNEEZES]
- WHICH WAS TOO MUCH FOR DOUG.
[THUD]
SOMEBODY LAUGHED,
AND I DROPPED MY MUSIC.
-Keep going!
-[SNEEZES]
-IT WAS KIND OF
A CHAIN REACTION.
-[SNEEZES]
-I'D LIKE TO SAY WE RALLIED...
-[SNEEZES]
-BUT... WE DIDN'T.
[DISORGANIZED SINGING, TALKING]
[DISORGANIZED SINGING CONTINUES]
MEN. MEN. MEN.
- MEN.
- MEN.
-[SNEEZES]
[SNEEZES]
-IT WAS NO ONE'S FAULT, REALLY.
I GUESS WE'D JUST BEEN
PUSHED BEYOND OUR LIMITS.
WE WE'RE A BUNCH
OF 8th-GRADE BOYS,
NOT AN ENSEMBLE OF
STOUT-HEARTED MEN.
[LIGHT APPLAUSE]
[APPLAUSE INTENSIFIES]
AS FOR MISS HAYCOCK,
SHE'D DREAMED OF MOLDING
US INTO SOMETHING WE WEREN'T.
BUT THAT NIGHT, SHE
GOT HER WAKE-UP CALL.
-♪ GIVE ME SOME MEN WHO
ARE STOUT-HEARTED MEN... ♪
-THE ONLY PROBLEM WAS...
SHE WASN'T THERE TO ANSWER IT.
-[SNEEZES]
-WE NEVER FOUND OUT WHERE
MISS HAYCOCK DISAPPEARED TO,
ALTHOUGH SOME SAID SHE'D
GONE BACK TO COLLEGE.
STILL, I LIKE TO THINK
THAT WHEREVER SHE IS
THERE'S A WARM SPOT IN HER HEART
FOR THE 8th-GRADE
BOYS' GLEE CLUB.
AFTER ALL, WE'D
LEARNED FROM HER,
AND IN A WAY... SHE'D
LEARNED FROM US.
WE'D LEARNED TOGETHER...
-♪ MAN TO MAN ♪
- OR SO I LIKE TO TELL MYSELF.
[FINALE PLAYS]
[PAUL SNEEZES]