The Wonder Years (1988–1993): Season 3, Episode 13 - She, My Friend and I - full transcript

-♪ WHAT WOULD YOU DO
IF I SANG OUT OF TUNE? ♪

♪ WOULD YOU STAND UP
AND WALK OUT ON ME? ♪

♪ LEND ME YOUR EARS,
AND I'LL SING YOU A SONG ♪

♪ I WILL TRY NOT TO
SING OUT OF KEY, YEAH ♪

♪ OH, BABY, I GET BY ♪
- ♪ BY WITH A LITTLE HELP
FROM MY FRIENDS ♪

-♪ ALL I NEED IS MY BUDDIES ♪

-♪ HIGH WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪

-♪ I'M SAYIN' I'M GONNA GET HIGHER ♪ - ♪
TRY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪

-♪ WHOA-OA-OA-OA ♪

-♪ OH, OH, OH, OH ♪

-♪ SOMEBODY WHO
KNOWS QUITE SURE ♪



♪ BABY ♪

-♪ BY WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪

-♪ SAID I'M GONNA MAKE
IT WITH MY FRIENDS ♪

-♪ TRY WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪

-♪ OH, I'M GONNA
KEEP ON TRYING ♪

-♪ HIGH WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪

♪ I'M GONNA KEEP ON
TRYING NOW, BABY ♪

-♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪

[CHEERING, HORNS HONKING]

-AROUND THE END OF 1969,
A FUNNY THING HAPPENED...

-5, 4, 3, 2...

[EXPLOSION]

- 1970.

["AULD LANG SYNE" PLAYS]



NOT THAT ANYONE WAS
PAYING MUCH ATTENTION.

-[Chanting] PEACE NOW!

-STILL, WITH A NEW
DECADE ON THE BOOKS,

MAYBE IT WAS TIME
TO HEAL OLD WOUNDS,

GET OVER OLD HURTS.

IT WAS POSSIBLE.

AFTER ALL, I'D GOTTEN
OVER WINNIE COOPER.

-HI, KEVIN.

-HI.

-YEP. WINNIE AND I
WERE FRIENDS NOW.

-I LIKE YOUR SHIRT.

-OH. THANKS.

CAN YOU BELIEVE ALL THIS
HISTORY HOMEWORK WE'RE GETTING?

-I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.

-THAT INCREDIBLE SMILE. THE
WAY SHE TOSSED HER HAIR.

THE HEART-STOPPING
LILT OF HER PERFUME...

I WAS OVER THAT.

REALLY!

-WELL, SEE YA.

-SEE YA.

-THERE YOU HAD IT...
HELLO AND GOODBYE.

WINNIE AND I WERE
JUST A MEMORY NOW.

NOT LIKE PAUL AND CARLA.

THEY HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL.

[CASH REGISTER DINGS]

-SHE DUMPED ME.

-PAUL...

-SHE DUMPED ME!

-PAUL, SNAP OUT OF IT!

-SHE... DUMPED...

ME.

-WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT?

-SHE SAID SHE NEEDED
MORE TIME WITH HER FRIENDS.

SHE SAID I WAS SUFFOCATING HER.

I THOUGHT SHE WANTED
TO BE SUFFOCATED.

[SIGHS] WHAT AM I GONNA DO?

-PAUL WAS IN PAIN.

I HAD TO COME UP WITH
SOMETHING SENSITIVE.

-YOU WANT AN ICE-CREAM SANDWICH?

HOW ABOUT AFTER SCHOOL
WE GO TO THE MOVIES?

-[SIGHS]

CARLA AND I USED
TO GO TO THE MOVIES.

-IT WAS WORSE THAN I THOUGHT.

[BUBBLING]

-PAUL, YOU CAN'T LET
CARLA SEE YOU LIKE THIS.

YOU WANT HER TO
FEEL SORRY FOR YOU?

-YOU THINK SHE WOULD?

-NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT.

YOU JUST CAN'T SIT
AROUND LOOKING PATHETIC.

YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING.

-[SCOFFS] LIKE WHAT?

-WELL, MAYBE... YOU HAVE
TO MAKE HER JEALOUS!

-HUH?

-MAYBE YOU OUGHT TO...

GO OUT WITH SOMEBODY ELSE.

-MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.

MAYBE I SHOULD DO IT.

I CAN DO IT, CAN'T I?

-OF COURSE YOU CAN.

-YEAH, I CAN.

-SO, LET'S SEE. WHO
YOU GONNA ASK?

-UH...

-WELL, WHO DO YOU LIKE?

-[SIGHS]

CARLA.

-I WAS LOSING HIM.

IF PAUL WAS GONNA BE SAVED,
THERE WAS NO TIME TO WASTE.

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

UNFORTUNATELY, THE
BOARD OF EDUCATION

INSISTED ON IT.

-IN WRESTLING, MEN,

THE MOST IMPORTANT
MUSCLE TO UTILIZE...

IS RIGHT HERE.

-HOW ABOUT ALLISON HEATH?

I SAW HER WATCHING
YOU IN ENGLISH.

-[SIGHS] TOO DUMB.

-OKAY...

ANGELA LANDS. SHE'S SMART.

-HER HEAD'S TOO... OVALISH.

-OKAY, JOHNSON,
OASLEY... ON THE MAT!

-JILL SIMONS!

SHE'S PRETTY
WITHOUT HER GLASSES.

-SHE REMINDS ME OF A BANANA.

-SO, WE'D NARROWED
IT DOWN TO NO STUPID,

OVAL-HEADED, OR
FRUIT-SHAPED WOMEN.

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

-CONCENTRATE!

-COME ON, PAUL.

ARE YOU GONNA PUT DOWN
EVERY GIRL IN THIS CLASS?

-WELL, NO.

NOT EVERYONE.

-WHO DID I LEAVE OFF?

-I'D RATHER NOT SAY.

-WHY? WHY, DO YOU LIKE HER?

-WELL, MAYBE... A LITTLE.

-WELL, THIS IS PERFECT!
YOU GOTTA GO OUT WITH HER.

-I'M NOT GONNA ASK HER OUT.

-PAUL, WHO IS IT?

-WINNIE COOPER.

[BOMB WHISTLING]

[EXPLOSION]

-WINNIE COOPER.

REALLY?

-WELL, I'VE KNOWN
HER A LONG TIME,

AND WE'RE ALREADY FRIENDS, SO...

AND IT WOULDN'T BE
LIKE A "DATE" DATE.

-OKAY, THAT WAS REASONABLE.

-WELL, MAYBE YOU
SHOULD ASK HER OUT.

-NAH. BAD IDEA.

-WHY?

-FOR ONE THING, THE WHOLE
IDEA OF ME AND WINNIE...

THAT'S RIDICULOUS.

-UH-HUH. THAT WAS TRUE.

-AND BESIDES, THERE'S
THE OTHER THING.

-WHAT OTHER THING?

-WELL, AREN'T YOU...

I MEAN...

DON'T YOU STILL...

-PAUL, YOU'RE TELLING ME

THAT YOU WOULDN'T
GO OUT WITH WINNIE

JUST BECAUSE
YOU THINK I'M STILL...

-IT DOESN'T MATTER. I
COULDN'T ASK HER, ANYWAY.

-WELL, MAYBE PAUL COULDN'T...

BUT I COULD.

-ASK HIM OUT?

YOU MEAN "ASK HIM
OUT" ASK HIM OUT?

-WELL, YEAH.

-WHY?

-WELL, IT'S KIND OF
HARD TO EXPLAIN.

SEE, IT'S A LONG STORY.

SEE, CARLA DUMPED PAUL,
AND PAUL'S FEELING... DUMPED.

AND I THINK IT WOULD REALLY
PICK HIM UP TO GO OUT WITH YOU.

-WELL, DOES HE KNOW
YOU'RE ASKING ME?

-NOT EXACTLY.

-WELL, WHY DOESN'T
HE ASK ME HIMSELF?

-WELL, PAUL'S KIND OF SHY...

AND [SCOFFS]

HE THINKS I STILL...

YOU KNOW, THAT YOU AND I...

WELL, HE'S GOT THE WRONG IDEA.

YOU KNOW, I TRIED TO TELL HIM,

BUT, YOU KNOW, IT'S PAUL.

-OH.

AND YOU REALLY
THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA?

-YEAH! I THINK
IT'S A GREAT IDEA!

-AND I DID.

AT LEAST, I THINK I DID.

-OKAY, THEN.

I'LL ASK HIM TO THE
MOVIES TONIGHT.

-GREAT.

-THERE. NICELY DONE.

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

THIS WAS GONNA WORK OUT GREAT.

-[SIGHS]

SO, WHAT'S UP?

-ME?

NOTHING.

-UH-HUH. LIKE I DIDN'T KNOW.

-WINNIE COOPER JUST
ASKED ME TO THE MOVIES.

-YOU'RE KIDDING!

-I MEAN, ISN'T THIS AN
AMAZING COINCIDENCE?

I MEAN, WE WERE JUST
TALKING ABOUT HER.

AND NOW SHE GOES
AND ASKS ME OUT.

-PRETTY AMAZING.

-I MEAN, SHE ASKED ME OUT.

WINNIE COOPER ASKED ME OUT!

-OKAY, OKAY, I GOT THE PICTURE!

HECK, I PAINTED IT!

-LOOK, KEV...

IF THERE'S A PROBLEM,
JUST SAY THE WORD,

AND I'LL FORGET ABOUT
THE WHOLE THING.

-NO, PAUL, WE'VE BEEN
ALL THROUGH THIS.

I'M GLAD SHE ASKED YOU OUT.

-YOU ARE? YOU SURE?

-I'M SURE.

-GREAT.

-AND IT WAS GREAT.

GREAT TO SEE PAUL SMILING AGAIN.

WELL, GRINNING, ACTUALLY.

MORE LIKE... BEAMING.

UH-HUH.

YOU HAD TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT IT.
- [SIGHS]

-THAT NIGHT, I SLEPT
THE SLEEP OF THE JUST.

[CLOCK TICKING]

WOKE UP BRIGHT AND
EARLY THE NEXT MORNING...

[ROOSTER CROWS]

GOT A HEAD START TO
BEAT THE MORNING TRAFFIC...

[BUFFER WHIRRING]

AND WENT ABOUT THE BUSINESS
OF STARTING A NEW DAY.

[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

-[WHISTLING]

-SO, UH... HOW'D
IT GO LAST NIGHT?

-FINE.

-FINE? OKAY. "FINE" WAS GOOD.

FINE WAS FINE.

FINE WAS...

-[SIGHS] ISN'T IT A GREAT DAY?

-HUH?

-ISN'T IT AMAZING HOW
ONE DAY YOU FEEL LIKE

YOU CAN'T GET ANY
LOWER, AND THE NEXT DAY...

YOU'RE GREAT?

-[CLEARS THROAT]

SO... HEARD FROM CARLA YET?

-HUH?

OH, NO. NOT YET.

NOT A WORD.

-YOU'LL PROBABLY
RUN INTO HER AT LUNCH.

YOU TWO'LL PROBABLY BE BACK
TOGETHER BY THE WEEKEND.

-I DON'T THINK SO.

-WHY NOT?

-I'M BUSY THIS WEEKEND.

I GOT A DATE.

-HMM...

-YES, WE'RE GOING OUT AGAIN.

-REALLY?

-WHY?

-NOTHING. IT'S JUST...

I'M... SURPRISED, THAT'S ALL.

-KEVIN, WHAT ARE YOU GETTING AT?

-NOTHING! JUST...

PAUL'S FEELING BETTER,

AND I KNOW YOU
DON'T LIKE HIM, SO...

-WHO SAYS I DON'T LIKE HIM?

-OKAY. WRONG CHOICE OF WORDS.

-NO, I KNOW YOU
LIKE HIM. IT'S JUST...

SPEAKING AS HIS FRIEND...

-I'M HIS FRIEND, TOO, YOU KNOW.

HE'S A GREAT GUY.

HE'S FUN TO BE WITH.

HE'S SMART, HE'S
FUNNY, HE'S CUTE.

-CYOO-HOO-HOOT?

-CUTE?

-BESIDES, I REALLY DON'T SEE

HOW THIS IS ANY
OF YOUR BUSINESS.

-OH, COME ON, WINNIE. REMEMBER?

THIS WAS ALL MY IDEA
IN THE FIRST PLACE.

-YES, IT WAS, WASN'T IT?

-WELL...

I JUST THINK YOU OUGHT TO...

-AW, HECK. WHY BEAT
AROUND THE BUSH?

IT WAS TIME TO
LAY IT ON THE LINE...

FOR EVERYONE'S OWN GOOD.

-I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD
LEAD PAUL ON LIKE THIS.

-WHO SAYS I'M LEADING HIM ON?

-WELL, THAT ABOUT DID IT.

I'D APPEALED TO PAUL.
I'D APPEALED TO WINNIE.

IF THEY WERE DETERMINED TO
GO THROUGH WITH THIS CHARADE,

THERE WAS ONLY
ONE THING I COULD DO.

[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

I COULD...

THROW UP.

AFTER A FEW DAYS,

THE "SLEEP OF THE JUST" WAS
BEGINNING TO TAKE ITS TOLL.

[ROOSTER CROWS]

I COULDN'T SAY EXACTLY WHY.

EVERYTHING SEEMED
TO BE FINE AT SCHOOL.

AND PAUL WAS WORKING OUT
HIS PROBLEMS WITH CARLA...

WITH WINNIE.

-THANKS, KEVIN.

THANKS A LOT!

-CARLA'S A DEAR FRIEND.

-WELL, SEE...

I'M NOT SURE SHE
EXACTLY SEES IT THAT WAY.

AS A MATTER OF
FACT, SHE TOLD ME...

-HERE IT IS! ICARUS!

-PAUL, YOU'RE NOT
EVEN LISTENING TO ME.

-SORRY, KEV. I BROUGHT
THIS BOOK FOR WINNIE.

MYTHOLOGY. SHE REALLY
LIKES GREEK MYTHOLOGY.

BUT YOU PROBABLY KNOW THAT.

-OF COURSE I KNOW THAT!

-THE FACT IS,

WINNIE NEVER TOLD ME
ANYTHING ABOUT MYTHOLOGY.

-IN MY OPINION, THE GREEKS
DID HAVE THE BEST GODS.

-YEAH, THAT'S GREAT, BUT...

-I WONDER WHAT SHE'LL
LOOK LIKE WHEN SHE'S OLD.

-PAUL, WE REALLY HAVE TO TALK.

-SURE. FIRE AWAY.

WINNIE!

LOOK! IT'S ICARUS!

-I HAVE TO GO.

-WHERE YA GOIN'?

-I DON'T KNOW.

-ALL I KNEW WAS I WAS IN
NO MOOD FOR MYTHOLOGY.

I HAD TO CLEAR MY HEAD.

[ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS]

-IF I COULD ROUND
UP TWO MORE HORSES,

YOU COULD GET A
HAIRCUT AND A MANICURE.

-LOOK AT THE WAY
HE MOVES HIS LIPS.

IT'S DISGUSTING.

TOTALLY UNBELIEVABLE!
HE WATER SKIS IN THIS ONE?

-DELORES, DO YOU MIND?

-YEP. NOTHIN' LIKE AN AFTERNOON
WITH WAYNE'S GIRLFRIEND

TO CLEAR THE COBWEBS.

-[SIGHS] DID I MISS ANYTHING?

-ED'S GOT A PLAN.

[GUM POPPING]

-DO YOU HAVE TO DO THAT?

-WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH HIM?

-HE'S JUST HAVIN' A BAD DAY.

-AW...

WHAT'S THE MATTER, KEV?

IS SOMETHING
WRONG IN KEVIE LAND?

-NONE OF YOUR
BUSINESS, BUTTHEAD!

-MY, MY!

STRONG WORDS!

THIS WOULDN'T BY CHANCE

HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH A
CERTAIN BEST FRIEND, WOULD IT?

AND A CERTAIN EX-BEST GIRL?

-WHO TOLD YOU THAT?

-OH, NEWS GETS AROUND.

-LISA SAW 'EM AT
WINKY'S HAVIN' A SODA.

-GREAT. MY PRIVATE HELL WAS
NOW A MATTER OF PUBLIC RECORD.

-I MUST SAY... I'M
NOT SURPRISED.

-WELL, WHAT'S THAT
SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

-NOTHING. EXCEPT
I SAW IT COMING.

FROM A MILE AWAY.

I WONDER IF HE
TAKES OFF HIS GLASSES

WHEN THEY MAKE OUT?

-[SIGHS] I'M TRYIN' TO WATCH!

-LOOK, WAYNE, I DON'T
HAVE TO TAKE THIS.

-SORRY, SORRY.

GOTTA HAND IT TO
OLD PFEIF, THOUGH.

HE'S A SNEAKY ONE! [CHUCKLES]

-AW, WHAT DID WAYNE
KNOW? PAUL WASN'T A SNEAK.

BESIDES, I WAS THE
ONE WHO'D SET 'EM UP!

OR WAS I?

-ED, WHAT'S THE MATTER?

-IS KEVIN BLIND, WILBUR?

CAN'T HE SEE WHAT PAUL
AND WINNIE ARE UP TO?

[ LAUGHTER]

-[EXHALES SHARPLY]

-THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE, MEN.

THE KEY TO ANY TAKE-DOWN.

PLAN YOUR MOVES.

KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO.

AS YOU WERE.

- OW!
- GALLO...

DOBBY... YOU'RE NEXT.

-OKAY, I'D PLANNED MY MOVE,
AND I KNEW WHAT I HAD TO DO.

-PAUL?

YOU REMEMBER WHAT WE
TALKED ABOUT THE OTHER DAY?

ABOUT WINNIE?

-SURE. WHAT PART?

-WELL, THE PART WHERE YOU SAID

ALL I HAD TO DO
WAS SAY THE WORD,

AND THEN YOU'D FORGET
ABOUT THE WHOLE THING.

-OH.

-SO, WOULD YOU?

-THAT DEPENDS.

ARE WE TALKING HYPOTHETICALLY?

-WHATEVER.

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

-THIS WAS IT.

HERE WAS PAUL'S CHANCE TO
SHOW WHERE HE REALLY STOOD.

-I DON'T KNOW.

A FEW DAYS AGO, I
WOULD HAVE SAID YES.

-OH, SO NOW YOU'RE SAYING NO.

-NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M
NOT SAYING. I'M JUST SAYING...

-PFEIFFER! ARNOLD!

ON THE MAT!

-YOU'RE SAYING NO. WHY
DON'T YOU JUST ADMIT IT?!

-WHY DON'T YOU COME OUT
AND ADMIT THAT YOU LIKE HER?!

-BECAUSE I DON'T!

- GOOD! BECAUSE I DO!
- THAT'S ENOUGH!

LET'S SEE IF YOU CAN EXERCISE
SOMETHING OTHER THAN YOUR LIPS.

-HERE.

-AND THERE YOU HAD IT.

REASONABLE MEN,
AGREEING TO DISAGREE.

-ALL RIGHT, MEN, REMEMBER, NOW.

SPEED...

BALANCE...

SCIENCE.

AND WRESTLE!

[BOTH GRUNTING]

HEY!

MEN!

-OW! GET OFF MY HAIR!

-MEN!

BOYS, THAT'S NOT WRESTLING!

- GIVE! GIVE!
- GIVE! GIVE!

- NO, YOU GIVE!
- GIVE.

- YOU GIVE!
- I'M NOT GIVIN'!

[CLASSMATES SHOUTING]

-COME ON, KEVIN!

[SHOUTING CONTINUES]

[INSECTS CHIRPING]

[DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE]

-I'D NEVER FELT
SO LOST IN MY LIFE.

I TRIED TO MAKE SENSE
OUT OF WHAT HAD HAPPENED.

I WANTED TO BELIEVE
THAT PAUL HAD LIED TO ME...

WINNIE, TOO.

BUT SOMEHOW, I KNEW BETTER.

[CAR DOORS CLOSING]

I'D BEEN LYING TO MYSELF.

THE FUNNY THING IS,

NOW THAT I WAS SURE ABOUT
MY FEELINGS FOR WINNIE...

IT WAS TOO LATE.

THERE THEY WERE...

MY BEST FRIEND AND MY BEST GIRL.

I'D BROUGHT THEM TOGETHER.

AND NOW I HAD NO
RIGHT TO INTERFERE.

-PAUL?

-YEAH?

-IT WAS TIME TO OFFER
MY CONGRATULATIONS.

IT WAS THE DECENT THING TO DO.

IT'S WHAT MR. ED WOULD DO.

-LOOK.

I'M SORRY ABOUT
WHAT HAPPENED IN GYM.

I GUESS I SORT OF...

LOST MY HEAD, YOU KNOW?

ANYWAY...

AND FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH...

I HOPE YOU AND WINNIE
WILL BE VERY HAPPY.

OKAY?

-SHE DUMPED ME.

-HUH?

-SHE DUMPED ME.

-SHE DID?

-WE DECIDED JUST TO BE FRIENDS.

WELL, ACTUALLY...

SHE DECIDED.

ANYWAY, IT'S OVER.

AFTER THREE LOUSY DATES?

-WAIT A MINUTE. WHAT
WAS I SAYING HERE?

-IT'S OKAY. REALLY.

IT WASN'T PERSONAL.

SHE JUST... LIKES SOMEBODY ELSE.

-OH.

-I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN.

I MEAN, IT WAS PRETTY OBVIOUS.

BUT, HEY...

I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT. RIGHT?

THE THING I CAN'T FIGURE IS...

WHY SHE ASKED ME
OUT IN THE FIRST PLACE.

CAN YOU?

-WELL...

YEAH.

SHE...

TOLD ME SHE THINKS YOU'RE CUTE.

-SHE SAID THAT?

-PAUL?

DID SHE SAY WHO IT WAS?

-I CAN'T TELL YOU.
SHE MADE ME PROMISE.

-COME ON, PAUL, I...

-BUT SUDDENLY I KNEW.
HE DIDN'T HAVE TO TELL ME.

IT WAS WRITTEN
ALL OVER HIS FACE.

-SORRY ABOUT THAT SCISSORS-LOCK.

-IT'S OKAY.

NEVER FELT A THING.

-YEAH, SURE. I HEARD
YOU WHIMPERIN'.

-IN YOUR DREAMS!

-[EXHALES]

-I HADN'T NOTICED WHAT
A BEAUTIFUL NIGHT IT WAS.

LIT BY STARLIGHT,

THE WORLD SMELLED
CLEAR AND CLEAN.

FOR A MINUTE, I DIDN'T
FEEL LIKE A KID ANYMORE.

BUT FOR THE FIRST
TIME IN A LONG TIME,

I FELT YOUNG.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

-KEVIN!

-HI.

-IT ALL MADE SENSE NOW.

I LOVED WINNIE COOPER.

AND SHE LOVED ME.

-WINNIE... I JUST WANT
YOU TO KNOW THAT...

I KNOW.

NO, YOU DON'T HAVE
TO SAY ANYTHING.

JUST... KNOW THAT I KNOW.

OKAY?

-KNOW WHAT?

-WINNIE! PAUL TOLD ME!

AND I'M GLAD HE DID!

-PAUL TOLD YOU?

-WELL, YEAH! ISN'T THAT GREAT?!

-PAUL TOLD YOU?!

-HE SAYS YOU'RE CRAZY ABOUT ME!

[DOOR SLAMS]

[DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE]

[OWL HOOTING]