The Wonder Years (1988–1993): Season 2, Episode 15 - Square Dance - full transcript
The gym class is engaging in square-dancing, and Kevin is paired up with Margaret Farquhar, the strangest girl in 7th grade. While Margaret enjoys spending time with Kevin, her presence makes Kevin wary of his junior-high image.
-♪ WHAT WOULD YOU DO
IF I SANG OUT OF TUNE? ♪
♪ WOULD YOU STAND UP
AND WALK OUT ON ME? ♪
♪ LEND ME YOUR EARS,
AND I'LL SING YOU A SONG ♪
♪ I WILL TRY NOT TO
SING OUT OF KEY, YEAH ♪
♪ OH, BABY, I GET BY ♪
- ♪ BY WITH A LITTLE HELP
FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
-♪ ALL I NEED IS MY BUDDIES ♪
-♪ HIGH WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
-♪ I'M SAYIN' I'M GONNA GET HIGHER ♪ - ♪
TRY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
- ♪ WHOA-OA-OA-OA, YEAH ♪
- ♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪
[CHOIR VOCALIZING]
-SOME PEOPLE PASS
THROUGH YOUR LIFE,
AND YOU NEVER THINK
ABOUT THEM AGAIN.
SOME YOU THINK ABOUT AND WONDER,
"WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO THEM?"
DENTIST, MAYBE.
GOSSIP COLUMNIST.
NO... DIVORCE LAWYER.
SOME YOU WONDER IF THEY EVER
WONDERED WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU.
AND THEN THERE ARE THOSE...
YOU WISH YOU NEVER
HAD TO THINK ABOUT AGAIN.
BUT YOU DO.
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
-ALL RIGHT. OVER HERE.
FORM UP IN TWO LINES.
-WHAT'S THIS ALL ABOUT?
-BEATS ME.
-TODAY, PEOPLE,
AND ALL THIS WEEK,
WE'LL BE STUDYING UNIT SEVEN
OF YOUR PHYSICAL-EDUCATION
CURRICULUM HANDBOOK.
-UNIT SEVEN.
IT SMACKED OF ROMANCE.
FARAWAY PLACES.
-UNIT SEVEN.
SQUARE DANCING.
-SQUARE DANCING?!
-WHAT IS IT?
WHAT CAN IT DO FOR YOU?
-IS THIS DORKY, OR WHAT?
-DEFINITELY DORKY.
-I MEAN, COME ON!
SQUARE DANCING?
WHAT, IN CASE WE EVER
CRASH-LANDED IN THE OZARKS?
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
ON THE OTHER HAND, IT
MIGHT HAVE ITS FINER ASPECTS.
[YOUNG WOMEN GIGGLING,
INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
YEP. NOTHING WRONG WITH
A LITTLE SQUARE DANCING.
-ALL RIGHT, LISTEN UP.
NOW THAT THE
LADIES HAVE JOINED US,
WE'RE GOING TO ASSIGN
PARTNERS FOR THE WEEK.
[CLEARS THROAT]
FINLAN... AND BRYCE.
STEP TO THE CENTER.
-THIS WAS CRITICAL.
WE WERE BEING
MATCHED FOR A WEEK.
IN SEVENTH-GRADE TERMS,
THAT TRANSLATES
TO ABOUT 11 YEARS.
-KASIMIR AND... REEVE.
-GOD, I SURE HOPE I
DON'T GET A LOSER.
-I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
-PFEIFFER AND... GAMBOWSKI.
- YES!
- [WOLF WHISTLES]
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
-OKAY. SO, PAUL
HAD HIT THE JACKPOT.
I WASN'T WORRIED.
STILL PLENTY OF FILLIES
LEFT IN THIS PASTURE.
-ARNOLD...
-HERE WE GO.
LUCKY, LUCKY, LUCKY.
- AND FARQUHAR.
-AND SUDDENLY, MY LIFE WAS OVER.
[YOUNG WOMEN GIGGLING]
I'D JUST BEEN PARTNERED
WITH MARGARET FARQUHAR,
THE FLAGSHIP FOR
SEVENTH-GRADE WEIRDNESS.
SOME PEOPLE MARCH TO THE
BEAT OF A DIFFERENT DRUMMER.
MARGARET HAD HER
OWN PERCUSSION SECTION.
-YES?
-ARE WE GONNA DO-SI-DO?
-WE'LL GET TO THAT.
-OH, NO.
-YES?
-WHY IS IT CALLED "DO-SI-DO"?
[LIGHT LAUGHTER]
-BECAUSE THAT'S
WHAT IT'S CALLED.
ARNOLD!
-IS THAT CLOCKWISE OR
THE OTHER WAY AROUND?
-DID I ASK FOR QUESTIONS?
I ALWAYS ASK FOR QUESTIONS.
-THAT WAS MARGARET.
SHE COULD GET ON THE
NERVES OF ANY TEACHER...
INCLUDING GANDHI.
-ARNOLD! STEP TO THE CENTER NOW.
-GO GET 'EM, TIGER.
-ALL RIGHT. FIRST THINGS FIRST.
THE BOW AND CURTSY.
-IT WAS GONNA BE A LONG WEEK.
- HEY, ARNOLD!
- HERE IT CAME.
THE SHARKS TO THE KILL.
-LOOKED PRETTY HAPPY
OUT THERE WITH FARQUHAR.
-YEAH. THRILLED.
[LAUGHTER]
-"UH, EXCUSE ME, BUT, UH...
WHY DO THEY CALL IT 'DO-SI-DO?'"
- DUH!
- DUH!
-SCRUB BEHIND YOUR EARS, ARNOLD?
-GOT TO WATCH OUT FOR COOTIES.
-OKAY. I HAD TO
NIP THIS IN THE BUD.
I HAD A REPUTATION
AT STAKE HERE.
-WELL, MAYBE I'LL
BE SICK THIS WEEK,
AND ONE OF YOU WILL
HAVE TO DANCE WITH HER.
-OH!
-KEEP THIS BOY HEALTHY!
-DUH!
-DUH!
- DUH!
- DUH!
-OKAY. I'D HANDLED
THAT PRETTY WELL.
BESIDES, THEY WERE JUST
A BUNCH OF GOOFY GUYS.
I COULD DEAL WITH THEM.
-I HEAR YOU'RE IN LOVE.
I HEAR YOU REALLY,
REALLY WANT HER.
AN HOUR A DAY ISN'T ENOUGH, HUH?
-SHUT UP, WAYNE.
-SHUT UP ABOUT WHAT?
-NOTHING.
-KEVIN WAS SQUARE
DANCING IN GYM TODAY.
-SQUARE DANCING?
WHAT KIND OF SPORT IS THAT?
DON'T THEY TEACH
WRESTLING ANYMORE?
-OH, I DON'T KNOW, HONEY.
I'M SURE IT TEACHES GOOD
EYE-FOOT COORDINATION.
-SO, UH, WHO'D YOU
GET AS A PARTNER, KEV?
-SOME GIRL.
-SOME GIRL?
OH, SURELY YOU'RE TOO MODEST.
-WELL, WHO WAS IT, KEVIN?
-[Mumbling] MARGARET FARQUHAR.
-I DIDN'T GET THAT.
COULD YOU SPEAK UP?
-MARGARET FARQUHAR?
TRUDY FARQUHAR'S SISTER?
SHE'S A LITTLE
DIFFERENT, ISN'T SHE?
-[LAUGHS]
ARE YOU KIDDING? SHE'S A JOKE.
SHE'S A GLEEP.
SORRY, KEVIN.
-HEY. I DIDN'T PICK HER.
AND BESIDES, FIRST THING
TOMORROW, I'M GONNA DUMP HER.
-KEVIN. THAT'S NOT VERY NICE.
YOU WOULDN'T REALLY
DO THAT, WOULD YOU?
-WELL...
-LOOK, JUST BECAUSE
SHE'S DIFFERENT
DOESN'T MEAN YOU
CAN'T BE NICE TO HER.
-WELL, LOOK...
SHE'S JUST... NOT POPULAR, OKAY?
-UH-OH. FATAL MISTAKE.
I'D OPENED THE DOOR FOR
THE MOST DREADED WORDS
IN THE DICTIONARY OF KID-DOM.
-KEVIN...
I EXPECT MORE OF YOU THAN THAT.
-AHHH-OUCH!
[SQUARE DANCE MUSIC PLAYS]
-ALL JOIN HANDS, CIRCLE LEFT.
PROMENADE THE HALL.
PROMENADE. NOW, DON'T BE SHY.
GRAB YOUR LADY AND PASS ON BY.
[RHYTHMIC CLAPPING]
-WHAT DO MOTHERS KNOW?
LET THEM SPEND A MORNING
ON THE SLIPPERY SLOPES
OF SEVENTH-GRADE SOCIETY.
-GIRLS TO THE
CENTER. FORM A STAR.
-SUDDENLY, I FELT SINGLED OUT.
-BOYS TO THE CENTER.
SAME AS BEFORE.
-A MARKED MAN.
-HAVING FUN?
-IN YOUR DREAMS.
-LOOKS LIKE LOVE TO ME.
[LAUGHS]
-ARE YOU KIDDING?
SHE MAKES ME WANT TO...
[DING!]
-KEVIN, I EXPECT MORE
OF YOU THAN THAT.
-ALL RIGHT, MOM. ALL RIGHT.
SO SUMMONING UP ALL THE
HUMANITY I COULD MUSTER...
-NOW BOW TO YOUR PARTNERS.
[RECORD SCRATCHES]
CLASS DISMISSED.
- I FULFILLED MY
MORAL RESPONSIBILITY.
-SEE YA, MARGARET.
-AND THAT WAS THAT.
-HI, KEVIN.
-UH-OH. KEEP GOING.
-I'M STANDING IN THE HALL.
-NO, DON'T TURN AROUND.
-UH...
-MISS BILLINGS SENT ME OUT HERE.
SHE SAYS I ASK TOO
MANY QUESTIONS.
WERE YOU IN THE BATHROOM?
-GREAT. I'D SAID
THREE WORDS TO HER.
NOW WE WERE GONNA HAVE TO
HAVE A WHOLE CONVERSATION.
-I HAVE TO GO A LOT, TOO...
WHEN I DRINK TOO MUCH
WATER IN THE MORNING.
DO YOU LIKE BATS?
-BATS?
-I HAVE A FRUIT BAT.
-MAMA! THIS CHICK WAS WEIRD!
-DO YOU LIKE THE
NAME "MORTIMER"?
-LOOK, I HAVE TO
GET BACK TO CLASS.
- WHAT CLASS?
- I GOT TO GO.
- OKAY. DID YOU...
- I GOT TO GO, MARGARET.
-WELL, I'D LEARNED ONE THING.
-BYE, KEVIN!
-NEVER GO TO THE
BOYS' ROOM ALONE.
STAY IN GROUPS.
-HEIDI WORE PERFUME TODAY,
THE KIND I'M ALLERGIC TO.
BUT WHEN I SNEEZED,
SHE SAID, "GESUNDHEIT."
SHE COULD HAVE
JUST SAID, "BLESS YOU,"
BUT SHE GAVE IT TO ME IN GERMAN.
-YOU'RE AN ANIMAL, PAUL.
-YEAH.
I'M GONNA GO GET AN
ICE-CREAM SANDWICH.
GOT TO KEEP UP THAT STRENGTH.
-AMAZING.
FATE HAD GIVEN
PAUL HEIDI GAMBOWSKI
AND ME...
BATGIRL.
[ CHUCKLES] HECK, IT WAS
ALMOST FUNNY, YOU KNOW.
-HI!
-MARGARET!
-UNH-UNH. NOT ACCEPTABLE.
NOT IN PUBLIC.
AN EMPTY HALLWAY,
MAYBE. BUT NOT A CAFETERIA.
-DO YOU LIKE CHILI?
-YOU CAN'T SIT HERE.
-I ALMOST FELL DOWN DURING
THE GRAND RIGHT AND LEFT TODAY.
DID YOU NOTICE?
-THE NERVE OF THIS KID.
-I-I HAVE THESE SEATS SAVED.
-I WENT ICE-SKATING ONCE,
AND I FELL DOWN A LOT.
BUT I ALWAYS THINK
YOU GOT TO GET BACK
ON THAT HORSE AND RIDE.
-GEEZ. WHAT DID I
HAVE TO DO HERE?
CALL WESTERN UNION?
-MARGARET...
[DING!]
-I EXPECT MORE OF YOU THAN THAT.
-OKAY, SO I WOULDN'T TELL HER.
[LAUGHTER]
I'D JUST EAT FAST. VERY FAST.
NO MORAL LAW AGAINST
THAT, WAS THERE?
-DO YOU LIKE TO ICE-SKATE?
-[MUMBLES]
-WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
-DON'T CHEW! SWALLOW!
THEN GET THE HECK OUT OF THERE!
-BATS DON'T EAT
BREAKFAST, EITHER.
-ALMOST HOME NOW.
-DO YOU THINK "MORTIMER"
IS A GOOD NAME FOR A BAT?
-[Muffled] I'M FINISHED. BYE.
- BUT YOU DIDN'T EVEN ANSWER MY...
- BYE.
-THERE. I'D MADE IT. NO
COOTIES ON ME, RIGHT?
-ARE YOU AND MARGARET
GOING STEADY NOW?
[LAUGHTER]
-UGHHHH!
- HEY, ROMEO.
- YEAH, ROMEO AND FARQUHAR-ET.
-OH, ROMEO, ROMEO.
WHERE "FARQUHART"
THOU, OH, ROMEO?
[LAUGHTER]
- DUH!
- DUH!
-I NEEDED HELP.
-PAUL, DO ME A FAVOR?
-SURE. NAME IT.
-LET ME DANCE WITH HEIDI TODAY.
-NOT ON YOUR LIFE!
-WELL, I WAS ON MY OWN.
THERE WAS ONLY ONE WAY TO
PUT THE BRAKES ON WITH MARGARET.
-HI.
-SNUB HER.
[SQUARE DANCE MUSIC PLAYS]
-NOW TAKE YOUR
LADY BY THE... HAND.
-OH, I-I SPRAINED MY WRIST.
-HEH HEH HEH.
WHY HADN'T I THOUGHT
OF THIS BEFORE?
-ALL JOIN HANDS. CIRCLE LEFT.
-[COUGHS]
-YEP. IT WAS WORKING.
LIKE A CHARM.
-CIRCLE LEFT AROUND THE RING.
PARADE, PARADE, YOU'RE
GOING THE RIGHT WAY.
PARADE, PARADE, YOU'RE...
GOING THE OTHER WAY.
-THIS WAS GONNA BE TRICKY.
-ALL RIGHT.
[MUSIC STOPS]
WE'LL TRY AGAIN TOMORROW.
-SUCCESS.
SHE'D FINALLY
GOTTEN THE MESSAGE.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
-I'LL GET IT!
-DID YOU KNOW YOU ONLY LIVE
FIVE STREETS DOWN
AND THREE ACROSS?
-MAYBE ONE THING THAT MADE
MARGARET A SOCIAL PARIAH
WAS SHE DIDN'T KNOW
HOW TO TAKE A HINT,
SUBTLE OR OTHERWISE.
-I BROUGHT MORTIMER.
HE'S SLEEPING. DO
YOU WANT TO SEE?
-NO. DON'T ENCOURAGE HER.
-MARGARET, YOU CAN'T STAY.
I HAVE, UM...
-HOMEWORK.
- HOMEWORK AND, UH...
-UH, A DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT.
-DO YOU HAVE A
WATER TAP WITH WATER?
-LOOK, I'M REALLY, REALLY BUSY.
REALLY, REALLY, REALLY BUSY.
- KEVIN?
- SO...
-WHO'S THAT AT THE DOOR?
MARGARET?
-UH-OH. I COULD SEE MOM'S
RADAR WORKING OVERTIME.
IN ABOUT THREE SECONDS,
SHE WAS GONNA FALL IN LOVE.
-SHE CAN'T STAY, MOM.
-NOW, I'M SURE SHE CAN
STAY FOR JUST A LITTLE WHILE.
CAN'T YOU, MARGARET?
-WELL, FINE. WHY DON'T
WE JUST ADOPT HER?
-MAYBE SHE'D LIKE TO SIT DOWN?
-THAT WAS IT. MARGARET
WAS IN LIKE FLYNN.
-THIS IS MY BAT.
-BUT HOLD ON HERE.
-BAT?
-HE WON'T GO IN YOUR HAIR
UNLESS THERE'S BUGS THERE.
[RUSTLING, SQUEAKING]
I WOULD HAVE
BROUGHT ISABELLE, TOO,
BUT HER TERRARIUM'S
TOO HARD TO CARRY.
- ISABELLE?
- MY TARANTULA.
-HOLY COW.
BATS AND SPIDERS?
TWO OF MOM'S PERSONAL FAVORITES.
-I ALSO HAVE A
LIZARD, BUT HE'S SICK.
-OH.
-DID MARGARET KNOW
WHAT SHE WAS DOING?
-THAT'S TOO BAD.
I HOPE HE FEELS BETTER.
-AMAZING.
MRS. BE-NICE-TO-EVERYONE
HAD BEEN CHASED OUT
OF HER OWN KITCHEN.
[DOOR CLOSES]
-I-I GUESS YOUR MOTHER
DOESN'T LIKE BATS.
-NO.
-YEAH, NEITHER DOES MINE.
-SO, UH...
YOU WANT TO SIT DOWN?
-AND SO, I SPENT AN HOUR
WITH THE MOST
UNPOPULAR GIRL IN SCHOOL.
-DO YOU KNOW WHERE THE
WORD "TARANTULA" COMES FROM?
-HUH?
-WELL, THEY HAD THIS
DISEASE IN EUROPE
THAT IF YOU GOT IT MADE YOU JERK
AROUND LIKE YOU WERE DANCING.
AND THEY THOUGHT
IT CAME FROM SPIDERS.
-SHE WAS WEIRD, ALL RIGHT.
THE FUNNY THING IS, SHE
WAS ALSO INTERESTING...
IN A WEIRD WAY.
-SO THEY NAMED THE
SPIDER AFTER THE DANCE...
TARANTELLA... TARANTULA.
-MARGARET, CAN I
ASK YOU SOMETHING?
WHY DO YOU HAVE THREE PIGTAILS?
-BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW
WHEN YOU'RE GONNA NEED
AN EXTRA RUBBER BAND.
-I'D NEVER MET ANYONE LIKE HER.
NOT THAT I LIKED
HER, YOU UNDERSTAND.
STILL...
-SO, YOUR DAD WAS IN THE ARMY?
-WE TRAVEL A LOT.
DO YOU KNOW ANYONE WHO'S
BEEN TO 12 SCHOOLS IN 8 YEARS?
-THAT'S A LOT OF SCHOOLS.
-BATS ARE GOOD TRAVELERS.
DOGS YOU HAVE TO LEAVE BEHIND.
-KEVIN, WILL YOUR FRIEND
BE STAYING FOR DINNER?
-NOW, THAT WAS A PICTURE.
MARGARET, MORTIMER,
MOM AND DAD AND...
WAYNE!
-MARGARET!
YOU GOT TO GO.
- NOW?
- YES, NOW.
-CAN I HAVE ANOTHER
DRINK OF WATER?
-HERE. HERE'S YOUR GLASS.
THERE'S A HOSE UP THE
STREET AROUND THE CORNER.
-KEVIN!
-SORRY, MOM. IT WAS
DITCH HER OR DIE.
-WELL, MAYBE YOU CAN
COME TO MY HOUSE SOMETIME.
-SURE. SURE.
-IF YOU COME TONIGHT,
YOU COULD MEET ISABELLE.
- I-I'LL BE THERE.
- IS THAT A PROMISE?
-MOM?
-YEAH, OKAY. I PROMISE.
- REALLY? YOU PROMISE?
- I PROMISE!
-WHAT'D I MISS, HERE?
-NOTHING.
-NOPE. NOTHING.
NOTHING AT ALL.
EXCEPT FOR ONE
MEANINGLESS LITTLE PROMISE.
-[SIGHS]
-THAT NIGHT I WENT
TO MARGARET'S HOUSE.
BUT ONLY BECAUSE I PROMISED.
-[SIGHS]
-OKAY, MAYBE IT
WAS MORE THAN THAT.
HECK, SHE DID HAVE A
TARANTULA IN THERE.
AND IT WAS DARK.
NO ONE WOULD EVER SEE ME...
[DOORBELL RINGS]
UNLESS, OF COURSE,
SOMEONE HAPPENED TO PASS BY.
SOMEONE I KNEW.
SOMEONE WHO KNEW MARGARET.
SOMEONE LIKE...
-YOO-HOO! KEVIN!
LOOK, EVERYBODY!
IT'S KEVIN ARNOLD!
HIT THE FLOODS!
[LAUGHTER]
-DUH!
- DUH!
- DUH!
- DUH!
[HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING]
-THERE HE IS. WE SEE HIM.
ATTENTION, NEIGHBORHOOD.
ATTENTION, NEIGHBORHOOD.
KEVIN ARNOLD IS AT
MARGARET FARQUHAR'S HOUSE.
I REPEAT...
KEVIN ARNOLD IS AT
MARGARET FARQUHAR'S HOUSE.
-COMING!
-UGH.
-HELLO?
-ALL IN ALL, I GUESS
I LOST MY NERVE.
-HEY, HOW DID YOU GET THOSE
SCRATCHES ON YOUR ARM?
-I DON'T KNOW.
-LOOKS LIKE YOU FELL
IN A PRICKER BUSH.
-PAUL, WHERE DO YOU
COME UP WITH THIS STUFF?
HOW DO YOU I DIDN'T
GET INTO A FIGHT
WITH CAT OR SOMETHING?
-WELL, YOU SEE, THESE
SCRATCHES ARE LIGHTER,
AND A CAT'S ARE, YOU KNOW.
-PAUL, LOOK, I JUST HAVE TO BE
BY MYSELF FOR A WHILE, OKAY?
-SURE.
BUT I STILL SAY IT LOOKS LIKE
YOU FELL ON A PRICKER BUSH.
-I'D MADE MY DECISION.
THIS COULDN'T GO ON.
IT WAS TIME TO DEAL
WITH IT ONCE AND FOR ALL.
-MARGARET?
-HI, KEVIN.
WHERE YOU AT MY
HOUSE LAST NIGHT?
MY BELL RANG. DID
YOU RING MY BELL?
-THAT'S RIGHT.
POUR ON THE OLD
GUILT, WHY DON'T YOU?
-MY MOTHER MADE POPCORN.
-MARGARET...
I-I CAN'T TALK TO YOU ANYMORE.
-WHAT?
-AND THEN I HAD AN IDEA.
A GREAT IDEA.
-WELL, YOU KNOW,
I LIKE YOU, AND...
I THINK YOU'RE REALLY NICE.
BUT, SO, WE CAN
TALK TO EACH OTHER.
BUT NOT AT SCHOOL.
OR AT MY HOUSE.
OR IN FRONT OF ANYBODY.
BUT, YOU KNOW, WE
COULD STILL BE FRIENDS.
YOU KNOW...
JUST NO ONE WOULD
HAVE TO KNOW ABOUT IT.
WE'D BE, UM... SECRET FRIENDS.
OKAY?
-ZOWIE! TALK ABOUT A SOLUTION.
-SECRET FRIENDS?
-WELL, YEAH...
KIND OF.
-THE FUNNY THING IS,
I ACTUALLY BELIEVED
SHE'D JUMP AT THE OPPORTUNITY.
-YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK TO ME?
-SHE WASN'T JUMPING.
-WHY DON'T YOU
WANT TO TALK TO ME?!
-WELL, I DIDN'T SAY THAT I
DIDN'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU.
-YOU DON'T WANT
ME TO TALK TO YOU?
-SEE? NOW SHE WAS
TWISTING IT ALL AROUND.
-HOW CAN YOU BE FRIENDS
IF YOU DON'T WANT TO
TALK TO SOMEBODY?!
-HEY, HEY, HEY.
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
-UH...
-I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS.
WHAT'S SO AWFUL ABOUT TALKING?
-HEY, ARNOLD.
LOOKS LIKE HONEYMOON TIME.
-HEY, ARNOLD. YOU
POP THE QUESTION YET?
-HA HA. VERY FUNNY.
-HEY, UH, FARKY,
WHY DO THEY CALL
THESE THINGS "PIGTAILS"?
-IT WAS HORRIBLE.
I WANTED TO TELL THEM TO
KNOCK IT OFF, LEAVE HER ALONE.
AND MARGARET... I
WANTED TO SCREAM AT HER.
WHY DID SHE HAVE TO BE SO WEIRD?
WHY COULDN'T SHE JUST BE NORMAL?
I WANTED TO SAY SOMETHING.
BUT I DIDN'T.
I COULDN'T.
- DUH!
- DUH!
-IT WAS MARGARET
WHO DID THE TALKING.
-I THOUGHT YOU WERE DIFFERENT.
- OOH.
- OOH.
- OOH.
[SQUARE DANCE MUSIC PLAYS]
-AND SO, THAT LAST
DAY OF SQUARE-DANCING,
I DANCED ALONE.
MAYBE IF I'D BEEN
A LITTLE BRAVER,
I COULD HAVE BEEN HER
FRIEND, BUT THE TRUTH IS,
IN SEVENTH GRADE, WHO YOU ARE
IS WHAT OTHER SEVENTH
GRADERS SAY YOU ARE.
[CHOIR VOCALIZING]
THE FUNNY THING IS, IT'S
HARD TO REMEMBER THE NAMES
OF THE KIDS YOU SPENT SO
MUCH TIME TRYING TO IMPRESS.
BUT YOU DON'T FORGET SOMEONE
LIKE MARGARET FARQUHAR.
PROFESSOR OF BIOLOGY.
MOTHER OF SIX.
FRIEND TO BATS.
IF I SANG OUT OF TUNE? ♪
♪ WOULD YOU STAND UP
AND WALK OUT ON ME? ♪
♪ LEND ME YOUR EARS,
AND I'LL SING YOU A SONG ♪
♪ I WILL TRY NOT TO
SING OUT OF KEY, YEAH ♪
♪ OH, BABY, I GET BY ♪
- ♪ BY WITH A LITTLE HELP
FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
-♪ ALL I NEED IS MY BUDDIES ♪
-♪ HIGH WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
-♪ I'M SAYIN' I'M GONNA GET HIGHER ♪ - ♪
TRY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
- ♪ WHOA-OA-OA-OA, YEAH ♪
- ♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪
[CHOIR VOCALIZING]
-SOME PEOPLE PASS
THROUGH YOUR LIFE,
AND YOU NEVER THINK
ABOUT THEM AGAIN.
SOME YOU THINK ABOUT AND WONDER,
"WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO THEM?"
DENTIST, MAYBE.
GOSSIP COLUMNIST.
NO... DIVORCE LAWYER.
SOME YOU WONDER IF THEY EVER
WONDERED WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU.
AND THEN THERE ARE THOSE...
YOU WISH YOU NEVER
HAD TO THINK ABOUT AGAIN.
BUT YOU DO.
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
-ALL RIGHT. OVER HERE.
FORM UP IN TWO LINES.
-WHAT'S THIS ALL ABOUT?
-BEATS ME.
-TODAY, PEOPLE,
AND ALL THIS WEEK,
WE'LL BE STUDYING UNIT SEVEN
OF YOUR PHYSICAL-EDUCATION
CURRICULUM HANDBOOK.
-UNIT SEVEN.
IT SMACKED OF ROMANCE.
FARAWAY PLACES.
-UNIT SEVEN.
SQUARE DANCING.
-SQUARE DANCING?!
-WHAT IS IT?
WHAT CAN IT DO FOR YOU?
-IS THIS DORKY, OR WHAT?
-DEFINITELY DORKY.
-I MEAN, COME ON!
SQUARE DANCING?
WHAT, IN CASE WE EVER
CRASH-LANDED IN THE OZARKS?
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
ON THE OTHER HAND, IT
MIGHT HAVE ITS FINER ASPECTS.
[YOUNG WOMEN GIGGLING,
INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
YEP. NOTHING WRONG WITH
A LITTLE SQUARE DANCING.
-ALL RIGHT, LISTEN UP.
NOW THAT THE
LADIES HAVE JOINED US,
WE'RE GOING TO ASSIGN
PARTNERS FOR THE WEEK.
[CLEARS THROAT]
FINLAN... AND BRYCE.
STEP TO THE CENTER.
-THIS WAS CRITICAL.
WE WERE BEING
MATCHED FOR A WEEK.
IN SEVENTH-GRADE TERMS,
THAT TRANSLATES
TO ABOUT 11 YEARS.
-KASIMIR AND... REEVE.
-GOD, I SURE HOPE I
DON'T GET A LOSER.
-I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.
-PFEIFFER AND... GAMBOWSKI.
- YES!
- [WOLF WHISTLES]
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
-OKAY. SO, PAUL
HAD HIT THE JACKPOT.
I WASN'T WORRIED.
STILL PLENTY OF FILLIES
LEFT IN THIS PASTURE.
-ARNOLD...
-HERE WE GO.
LUCKY, LUCKY, LUCKY.
- AND FARQUHAR.
-AND SUDDENLY, MY LIFE WAS OVER.
[YOUNG WOMEN GIGGLING]
I'D JUST BEEN PARTNERED
WITH MARGARET FARQUHAR,
THE FLAGSHIP FOR
SEVENTH-GRADE WEIRDNESS.
SOME PEOPLE MARCH TO THE
BEAT OF A DIFFERENT DRUMMER.
MARGARET HAD HER
OWN PERCUSSION SECTION.
-YES?
-ARE WE GONNA DO-SI-DO?
-WE'LL GET TO THAT.
-OH, NO.
-YES?
-WHY IS IT CALLED "DO-SI-DO"?
[LIGHT LAUGHTER]
-BECAUSE THAT'S
WHAT IT'S CALLED.
ARNOLD!
-IS THAT CLOCKWISE OR
THE OTHER WAY AROUND?
-DID I ASK FOR QUESTIONS?
I ALWAYS ASK FOR QUESTIONS.
-THAT WAS MARGARET.
SHE COULD GET ON THE
NERVES OF ANY TEACHER...
INCLUDING GANDHI.
-ARNOLD! STEP TO THE CENTER NOW.
-GO GET 'EM, TIGER.
-ALL RIGHT. FIRST THINGS FIRST.
THE BOW AND CURTSY.
-IT WAS GONNA BE A LONG WEEK.
- HEY, ARNOLD!
- HERE IT CAME.
THE SHARKS TO THE KILL.
-LOOKED PRETTY HAPPY
OUT THERE WITH FARQUHAR.
-YEAH. THRILLED.
[LAUGHTER]
-"UH, EXCUSE ME, BUT, UH...
WHY DO THEY CALL IT 'DO-SI-DO?'"
- DUH!
- DUH!
-SCRUB BEHIND YOUR EARS, ARNOLD?
-GOT TO WATCH OUT FOR COOTIES.
-OKAY. I HAD TO
NIP THIS IN THE BUD.
I HAD A REPUTATION
AT STAKE HERE.
-WELL, MAYBE I'LL
BE SICK THIS WEEK,
AND ONE OF YOU WILL
HAVE TO DANCE WITH HER.
-OH!
-KEEP THIS BOY HEALTHY!
-DUH!
-DUH!
- DUH!
- DUH!
-OKAY. I'D HANDLED
THAT PRETTY WELL.
BESIDES, THEY WERE JUST
A BUNCH OF GOOFY GUYS.
I COULD DEAL WITH THEM.
-I HEAR YOU'RE IN LOVE.
I HEAR YOU REALLY,
REALLY WANT HER.
AN HOUR A DAY ISN'T ENOUGH, HUH?
-SHUT UP, WAYNE.
-SHUT UP ABOUT WHAT?
-NOTHING.
-KEVIN WAS SQUARE
DANCING IN GYM TODAY.
-SQUARE DANCING?
WHAT KIND OF SPORT IS THAT?
DON'T THEY TEACH
WRESTLING ANYMORE?
-OH, I DON'T KNOW, HONEY.
I'M SURE IT TEACHES GOOD
EYE-FOOT COORDINATION.
-SO, UH, WHO'D YOU
GET AS A PARTNER, KEV?
-SOME GIRL.
-SOME GIRL?
OH, SURELY YOU'RE TOO MODEST.
-WELL, WHO WAS IT, KEVIN?
-[Mumbling] MARGARET FARQUHAR.
-I DIDN'T GET THAT.
COULD YOU SPEAK UP?
-MARGARET FARQUHAR?
TRUDY FARQUHAR'S SISTER?
SHE'S A LITTLE
DIFFERENT, ISN'T SHE?
-[LAUGHS]
ARE YOU KIDDING? SHE'S A JOKE.
SHE'S A GLEEP.
SORRY, KEVIN.
-HEY. I DIDN'T PICK HER.
AND BESIDES, FIRST THING
TOMORROW, I'M GONNA DUMP HER.
-KEVIN. THAT'S NOT VERY NICE.
YOU WOULDN'T REALLY
DO THAT, WOULD YOU?
-WELL...
-LOOK, JUST BECAUSE
SHE'S DIFFERENT
DOESN'T MEAN YOU
CAN'T BE NICE TO HER.
-WELL, LOOK...
SHE'S JUST... NOT POPULAR, OKAY?
-UH-OH. FATAL MISTAKE.
I'D OPENED THE DOOR FOR
THE MOST DREADED WORDS
IN THE DICTIONARY OF KID-DOM.
-KEVIN...
I EXPECT MORE OF YOU THAN THAT.
-AHHH-OUCH!
[SQUARE DANCE MUSIC PLAYS]
-ALL JOIN HANDS, CIRCLE LEFT.
PROMENADE THE HALL.
PROMENADE. NOW, DON'T BE SHY.
GRAB YOUR LADY AND PASS ON BY.
[RHYTHMIC CLAPPING]
-WHAT DO MOTHERS KNOW?
LET THEM SPEND A MORNING
ON THE SLIPPERY SLOPES
OF SEVENTH-GRADE SOCIETY.
-GIRLS TO THE
CENTER. FORM A STAR.
-SUDDENLY, I FELT SINGLED OUT.
-BOYS TO THE CENTER.
SAME AS BEFORE.
-A MARKED MAN.
-HAVING FUN?
-IN YOUR DREAMS.
-LOOKS LIKE LOVE TO ME.
[LAUGHS]
-ARE YOU KIDDING?
SHE MAKES ME WANT TO...
[DING!]
-KEVIN, I EXPECT MORE
OF YOU THAN THAT.
-ALL RIGHT, MOM. ALL RIGHT.
SO SUMMONING UP ALL THE
HUMANITY I COULD MUSTER...
-NOW BOW TO YOUR PARTNERS.
[RECORD SCRATCHES]
CLASS DISMISSED.
- I FULFILLED MY
MORAL RESPONSIBILITY.
-SEE YA, MARGARET.
-AND THAT WAS THAT.
-HI, KEVIN.
-UH-OH. KEEP GOING.
-I'M STANDING IN THE HALL.
-NO, DON'T TURN AROUND.
-UH...
-MISS BILLINGS SENT ME OUT HERE.
SHE SAYS I ASK TOO
MANY QUESTIONS.
WERE YOU IN THE BATHROOM?
-GREAT. I'D SAID
THREE WORDS TO HER.
NOW WE WERE GONNA HAVE TO
HAVE A WHOLE CONVERSATION.
-I HAVE TO GO A LOT, TOO...
WHEN I DRINK TOO MUCH
WATER IN THE MORNING.
DO YOU LIKE BATS?
-BATS?
-I HAVE A FRUIT BAT.
-MAMA! THIS CHICK WAS WEIRD!
-DO YOU LIKE THE
NAME "MORTIMER"?
-LOOK, I HAVE TO
GET BACK TO CLASS.
- WHAT CLASS?
- I GOT TO GO.
- OKAY. DID YOU...
- I GOT TO GO, MARGARET.
-WELL, I'D LEARNED ONE THING.
-BYE, KEVIN!
-NEVER GO TO THE
BOYS' ROOM ALONE.
STAY IN GROUPS.
-HEIDI WORE PERFUME TODAY,
THE KIND I'M ALLERGIC TO.
BUT WHEN I SNEEZED,
SHE SAID, "GESUNDHEIT."
SHE COULD HAVE
JUST SAID, "BLESS YOU,"
BUT SHE GAVE IT TO ME IN GERMAN.
-YOU'RE AN ANIMAL, PAUL.
-YEAH.
I'M GONNA GO GET AN
ICE-CREAM SANDWICH.
GOT TO KEEP UP THAT STRENGTH.
-AMAZING.
FATE HAD GIVEN
PAUL HEIDI GAMBOWSKI
AND ME...
BATGIRL.
[ CHUCKLES] HECK, IT WAS
ALMOST FUNNY, YOU KNOW.
-HI!
-MARGARET!
-UNH-UNH. NOT ACCEPTABLE.
NOT IN PUBLIC.
AN EMPTY HALLWAY,
MAYBE. BUT NOT A CAFETERIA.
-DO YOU LIKE CHILI?
-YOU CAN'T SIT HERE.
-I ALMOST FELL DOWN DURING
THE GRAND RIGHT AND LEFT TODAY.
DID YOU NOTICE?
-THE NERVE OF THIS KID.
-I-I HAVE THESE SEATS SAVED.
-I WENT ICE-SKATING ONCE,
AND I FELL DOWN A LOT.
BUT I ALWAYS THINK
YOU GOT TO GET BACK
ON THAT HORSE AND RIDE.
-GEEZ. WHAT DID I
HAVE TO DO HERE?
CALL WESTERN UNION?
-MARGARET...
[DING!]
-I EXPECT MORE OF YOU THAN THAT.
-OKAY, SO I WOULDN'T TELL HER.
[LAUGHTER]
I'D JUST EAT FAST. VERY FAST.
NO MORAL LAW AGAINST
THAT, WAS THERE?
-DO YOU LIKE TO ICE-SKATE?
-[MUMBLES]
-WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
-DON'T CHEW! SWALLOW!
THEN GET THE HECK OUT OF THERE!
-BATS DON'T EAT
BREAKFAST, EITHER.
-ALMOST HOME NOW.
-DO YOU THINK "MORTIMER"
IS A GOOD NAME FOR A BAT?
-[Muffled] I'M FINISHED. BYE.
- BUT YOU DIDN'T EVEN ANSWER MY...
- BYE.
-THERE. I'D MADE IT. NO
COOTIES ON ME, RIGHT?
-ARE YOU AND MARGARET
GOING STEADY NOW?
[LAUGHTER]
-UGHHHH!
- HEY, ROMEO.
- YEAH, ROMEO AND FARQUHAR-ET.
-OH, ROMEO, ROMEO.
WHERE "FARQUHART"
THOU, OH, ROMEO?
[LAUGHTER]
- DUH!
- DUH!
-I NEEDED HELP.
-PAUL, DO ME A FAVOR?
-SURE. NAME IT.
-LET ME DANCE WITH HEIDI TODAY.
-NOT ON YOUR LIFE!
-WELL, I WAS ON MY OWN.
THERE WAS ONLY ONE WAY TO
PUT THE BRAKES ON WITH MARGARET.
-HI.
-SNUB HER.
[SQUARE DANCE MUSIC PLAYS]
-NOW TAKE YOUR
LADY BY THE... HAND.
-OH, I-I SPRAINED MY WRIST.
-HEH HEH HEH.
WHY HADN'T I THOUGHT
OF THIS BEFORE?
-ALL JOIN HANDS. CIRCLE LEFT.
-[COUGHS]
-YEP. IT WAS WORKING.
LIKE A CHARM.
-CIRCLE LEFT AROUND THE RING.
PARADE, PARADE, YOU'RE
GOING THE RIGHT WAY.
PARADE, PARADE, YOU'RE...
GOING THE OTHER WAY.
-THIS WAS GONNA BE TRICKY.
-ALL RIGHT.
[MUSIC STOPS]
WE'LL TRY AGAIN TOMORROW.
-SUCCESS.
SHE'D FINALLY
GOTTEN THE MESSAGE.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
-I'LL GET IT!
-DID YOU KNOW YOU ONLY LIVE
FIVE STREETS DOWN
AND THREE ACROSS?
-MAYBE ONE THING THAT MADE
MARGARET A SOCIAL PARIAH
WAS SHE DIDN'T KNOW
HOW TO TAKE A HINT,
SUBTLE OR OTHERWISE.
-I BROUGHT MORTIMER.
HE'S SLEEPING. DO
YOU WANT TO SEE?
-NO. DON'T ENCOURAGE HER.
-MARGARET, YOU CAN'T STAY.
I HAVE, UM...
-HOMEWORK.
- HOMEWORK AND, UH...
-UH, A DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT.
-DO YOU HAVE A
WATER TAP WITH WATER?
-LOOK, I'M REALLY, REALLY BUSY.
REALLY, REALLY, REALLY BUSY.
- KEVIN?
- SO...
-WHO'S THAT AT THE DOOR?
MARGARET?
-UH-OH. I COULD SEE MOM'S
RADAR WORKING OVERTIME.
IN ABOUT THREE SECONDS,
SHE WAS GONNA FALL IN LOVE.
-SHE CAN'T STAY, MOM.
-NOW, I'M SURE SHE CAN
STAY FOR JUST A LITTLE WHILE.
CAN'T YOU, MARGARET?
-WELL, FINE. WHY DON'T
WE JUST ADOPT HER?
-MAYBE SHE'D LIKE TO SIT DOWN?
-THAT WAS IT. MARGARET
WAS IN LIKE FLYNN.
-THIS IS MY BAT.
-BUT HOLD ON HERE.
-BAT?
-HE WON'T GO IN YOUR HAIR
UNLESS THERE'S BUGS THERE.
[RUSTLING, SQUEAKING]
I WOULD HAVE
BROUGHT ISABELLE, TOO,
BUT HER TERRARIUM'S
TOO HARD TO CARRY.
- ISABELLE?
- MY TARANTULA.
-HOLY COW.
BATS AND SPIDERS?
TWO OF MOM'S PERSONAL FAVORITES.
-I ALSO HAVE A
LIZARD, BUT HE'S SICK.
-OH.
-DID MARGARET KNOW
WHAT SHE WAS DOING?
-THAT'S TOO BAD.
I HOPE HE FEELS BETTER.
-AMAZING.
MRS. BE-NICE-TO-EVERYONE
HAD BEEN CHASED OUT
OF HER OWN KITCHEN.
[DOOR CLOSES]
-I-I GUESS YOUR MOTHER
DOESN'T LIKE BATS.
-NO.
-YEAH, NEITHER DOES MINE.
-SO, UH...
YOU WANT TO SIT DOWN?
-AND SO, I SPENT AN HOUR
WITH THE MOST
UNPOPULAR GIRL IN SCHOOL.
-DO YOU KNOW WHERE THE
WORD "TARANTULA" COMES FROM?
-HUH?
-WELL, THEY HAD THIS
DISEASE IN EUROPE
THAT IF YOU GOT IT MADE YOU JERK
AROUND LIKE YOU WERE DANCING.
AND THEY THOUGHT
IT CAME FROM SPIDERS.
-SHE WAS WEIRD, ALL RIGHT.
THE FUNNY THING IS, SHE
WAS ALSO INTERESTING...
IN A WEIRD WAY.
-SO THEY NAMED THE
SPIDER AFTER THE DANCE...
TARANTELLA... TARANTULA.
-MARGARET, CAN I
ASK YOU SOMETHING?
WHY DO YOU HAVE THREE PIGTAILS?
-BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW
WHEN YOU'RE GONNA NEED
AN EXTRA RUBBER BAND.
-I'D NEVER MET ANYONE LIKE HER.
NOT THAT I LIKED
HER, YOU UNDERSTAND.
STILL...
-SO, YOUR DAD WAS IN THE ARMY?
-WE TRAVEL A LOT.
DO YOU KNOW ANYONE WHO'S
BEEN TO 12 SCHOOLS IN 8 YEARS?
-THAT'S A LOT OF SCHOOLS.
-BATS ARE GOOD TRAVELERS.
DOGS YOU HAVE TO LEAVE BEHIND.
-KEVIN, WILL YOUR FRIEND
BE STAYING FOR DINNER?
-NOW, THAT WAS A PICTURE.
MARGARET, MORTIMER,
MOM AND DAD AND...
WAYNE!
-MARGARET!
YOU GOT TO GO.
- NOW?
- YES, NOW.
-CAN I HAVE ANOTHER
DRINK OF WATER?
-HERE. HERE'S YOUR GLASS.
THERE'S A HOSE UP THE
STREET AROUND THE CORNER.
-KEVIN!
-SORRY, MOM. IT WAS
DITCH HER OR DIE.
-WELL, MAYBE YOU CAN
COME TO MY HOUSE SOMETIME.
-SURE. SURE.
-IF YOU COME TONIGHT,
YOU COULD MEET ISABELLE.
- I-I'LL BE THERE.
- IS THAT A PROMISE?
-MOM?
-YEAH, OKAY. I PROMISE.
- REALLY? YOU PROMISE?
- I PROMISE!
-WHAT'D I MISS, HERE?
-NOTHING.
-NOPE. NOTHING.
NOTHING AT ALL.
EXCEPT FOR ONE
MEANINGLESS LITTLE PROMISE.
-[SIGHS]
-THAT NIGHT I WENT
TO MARGARET'S HOUSE.
BUT ONLY BECAUSE I PROMISED.
-[SIGHS]
-OKAY, MAYBE IT
WAS MORE THAN THAT.
HECK, SHE DID HAVE A
TARANTULA IN THERE.
AND IT WAS DARK.
NO ONE WOULD EVER SEE ME...
[DOORBELL RINGS]
UNLESS, OF COURSE,
SOMEONE HAPPENED TO PASS BY.
SOMEONE I KNEW.
SOMEONE WHO KNEW MARGARET.
SOMEONE LIKE...
-YOO-HOO! KEVIN!
LOOK, EVERYBODY!
IT'S KEVIN ARNOLD!
HIT THE FLOODS!
[LAUGHTER]
-DUH!
- DUH!
- DUH!
- DUH!
[HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING]
-THERE HE IS. WE SEE HIM.
ATTENTION, NEIGHBORHOOD.
ATTENTION, NEIGHBORHOOD.
KEVIN ARNOLD IS AT
MARGARET FARQUHAR'S HOUSE.
I REPEAT...
KEVIN ARNOLD IS AT
MARGARET FARQUHAR'S HOUSE.
-COMING!
-UGH.
-HELLO?
-ALL IN ALL, I GUESS
I LOST MY NERVE.
-HEY, HOW DID YOU GET THOSE
SCRATCHES ON YOUR ARM?
-I DON'T KNOW.
-LOOKS LIKE YOU FELL
IN A PRICKER BUSH.
-PAUL, WHERE DO YOU
COME UP WITH THIS STUFF?
HOW DO YOU I DIDN'T
GET INTO A FIGHT
WITH CAT OR SOMETHING?
-WELL, YOU SEE, THESE
SCRATCHES ARE LIGHTER,
AND A CAT'S ARE, YOU KNOW.
-PAUL, LOOK, I JUST HAVE TO BE
BY MYSELF FOR A WHILE, OKAY?
-SURE.
BUT I STILL SAY IT LOOKS LIKE
YOU FELL ON A PRICKER BUSH.
-I'D MADE MY DECISION.
THIS COULDN'T GO ON.
IT WAS TIME TO DEAL
WITH IT ONCE AND FOR ALL.
-MARGARET?
-HI, KEVIN.
WHERE YOU AT MY
HOUSE LAST NIGHT?
MY BELL RANG. DID
YOU RING MY BELL?
-THAT'S RIGHT.
POUR ON THE OLD
GUILT, WHY DON'T YOU?
-MY MOTHER MADE POPCORN.
-MARGARET...
I-I CAN'T TALK TO YOU ANYMORE.
-WHAT?
-AND THEN I HAD AN IDEA.
A GREAT IDEA.
-WELL, YOU KNOW,
I LIKE YOU, AND...
I THINK YOU'RE REALLY NICE.
BUT, SO, WE CAN
TALK TO EACH OTHER.
BUT NOT AT SCHOOL.
OR AT MY HOUSE.
OR IN FRONT OF ANYBODY.
BUT, YOU KNOW, WE
COULD STILL BE FRIENDS.
YOU KNOW...
JUST NO ONE WOULD
HAVE TO KNOW ABOUT IT.
WE'D BE, UM... SECRET FRIENDS.
OKAY?
-ZOWIE! TALK ABOUT A SOLUTION.
-SECRET FRIENDS?
-WELL, YEAH...
KIND OF.
-THE FUNNY THING IS,
I ACTUALLY BELIEVED
SHE'D JUMP AT THE OPPORTUNITY.
-YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK TO ME?
-SHE WASN'T JUMPING.
-WHY DON'T YOU
WANT TO TALK TO ME?!
-WELL, I DIDN'T SAY THAT I
DIDN'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU.
-YOU DON'T WANT
ME TO TALK TO YOU?
-SEE? NOW SHE WAS
TWISTING IT ALL AROUND.
-HOW CAN YOU BE FRIENDS
IF YOU DON'T WANT TO
TALK TO SOMEBODY?!
-HEY, HEY, HEY.
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
-UH...
-I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS.
WHAT'S SO AWFUL ABOUT TALKING?
-HEY, ARNOLD.
LOOKS LIKE HONEYMOON TIME.
-HEY, ARNOLD. YOU
POP THE QUESTION YET?
-HA HA. VERY FUNNY.
-HEY, UH, FARKY,
WHY DO THEY CALL
THESE THINGS "PIGTAILS"?
-IT WAS HORRIBLE.
I WANTED TO TELL THEM TO
KNOCK IT OFF, LEAVE HER ALONE.
AND MARGARET... I
WANTED TO SCREAM AT HER.
WHY DID SHE HAVE TO BE SO WEIRD?
WHY COULDN'T SHE JUST BE NORMAL?
I WANTED TO SAY SOMETHING.
BUT I DIDN'T.
I COULDN'T.
- DUH!
- DUH!
-IT WAS MARGARET
WHO DID THE TALKING.
-I THOUGHT YOU WERE DIFFERENT.
- OOH.
- OOH.
- OOH.
[SQUARE DANCE MUSIC PLAYS]
-AND SO, THAT LAST
DAY OF SQUARE-DANCING,
I DANCED ALONE.
MAYBE IF I'D BEEN
A LITTLE BRAVER,
I COULD HAVE BEEN HER
FRIEND, BUT THE TRUTH IS,
IN SEVENTH GRADE, WHO YOU ARE
IS WHAT OTHER SEVENTH
GRADERS SAY YOU ARE.
[CHOIR VOCALIZING]
THE FUNNY THING IS, IT'S
HARD TO REMEMBER THE NAMES
OF THE KIDS YOU SPENT SO
MUCH TIME TRYING TO IMPRESS.
BUT YOU DON'T FORGET SOMEONE
LIKE MARGARET FARQUHAR.
PROFESSOR OF BIOLOGY.
MOTHER OF SIX.
FRIEND TO BATS.