The Wonder Years (1988–1993): Season 2, Episode 13 - Birthday Boy - full transcript

-♪ WHAT WOULD YOU DO
IF I SANG OUT OF TUNE? ♪

♪ WOULD YOU STAND UP
AND WALK OUT ON ME? ♪

♪ LEND ME YOUR EARS,
AND I'LL SING YOU A SONG ♪

♪ I WILL TRY NOT TO
SING OUT OF KEY, YEAH ♪

♪ OH, BABY, I GET BY ♪
- ♪ BY WITH A LITTLE HELP
FROM MY FRIENDS ♪

-♪ ALL I NEED IS MY BUDDIES ♪

-♪ HIGH WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪

-♪ I'M SAYIN' I'M GONNA GET HIGHER ♪ - ♪
TRY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪

- ♪ WHOA-OA-OA-OA, YEAH ♪
- ♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪

-♪ HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BABY ♪

♪ ALTHOUGH YOU'RE WITH... ♪



-WHEN PAUL AND I
WERE LITTLE KIDS,

WE HAD OUR BIRTHDAYS
ONLY FOUR DAYS APART.

COME TO THINK OF IT, WE
STILL HAVE OUR BIRTHDAYS

ONLY FOUR DAYS APART.

BUT I GUESS BIRTHDAYS
AREN'T AS BIG A PART OF LIFE

AS THEY USED TO BE.

-♪ WOULD FIND ME BESIDE YOU ♪

-MAN, WE HAD SOME
CLASSIC PARTIES.

YEAR AFTER YEAR, WE REACHED
FOR MANHOOD TOGETHER.

-♪ BABY ♪

-♪ NO, I CAN'T CALL
YOU MY BABY ♪

♪ SEEMS LIKE YEARS AGO... ♪

-WHEN WE FELL SHORT,
WE FELL SHORT TOGETHER.

GOD...



WE COULDN'T WAIT TO GET OLDER.

-♪ ...WE FELL IN LOVE ♪

-SO, WHAT THE HELL'S A
BAR MITZVAH, ANYWAYS?

-IT'S A CEREMONY WHEN
YOU BECOME A MAN, STUPID.

-A MAN? PFEIFFER? HA HA!

THAT'S GOT TO BE THE FUNNIEST
THING I'VE HEARD ALL DAY.

STEVE, ARE YOU HEARING THIS?

PFEIFFER'S ABOUT
TO BECOME A MAN.

-WHAT'S SO FUNNY ABOUT THAT?

-YOU'RE NOT A MAN UNTIL
YOU LOSE YOUR VIRGINITY.

-THAT'S RIGHT, SO I'D SAY
YOU GUYS ARE LITTLE BOYS

UNTIL YOU'RE AT LEAST 45.

-OH, I THINK THAT'S OPTIMISTIC.

-WELL, I MEAN, IF
YOU'RE ACTUALLY

TALKING ABOUT HAVING
SEX WITH ANOTHER PERSON.

-OH, SHUT UP, WAYNE!
YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS.

-YEAH, YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS.

-JEALOUS? WHY?
BECAUSE YOU GET TO WEAR

ONE OF THOSE LITTLE
BEANIES ON YOUR HEAD?

-IT'S CALLED A YARMULKE!

AND FOR YOUR INFORMATION, IT
HAPPENS TO BE A VERY BIG DEAL!

I GET TO STAND UP IN FRONT

OF ALL MY FRIENDS
AND MY WHOLE FAMILY

AND SAY PRAYERS AND MAKE
THIS BIG SPEECH AND STUFF.

-A SPEECH? A SPEECH?!

WELL, NOW I'M JEALOUS.
NOW I'M JEALOUS.

-[SIGHS]

AND THEN WE HAVE
THIS HUGE PARTY.

-OH, I'VE HEARD OF
THOSE PFEIFFER PARTIES.

-VERY HOT. VERY HOT.

-CATERED, WITH ALL
YOU CAN EAT AND DRINK.

-OOH.

-AND HUNDREDS OF GUESTS

AND ALL THE GIRLS
I WANT TO INVITE.

-MAKE SURE YOU KEEP
'EM ON A LEASH, NOW.

-AND A BAND.

-A LIVE BAND?

-AND TONS OF PRESENTS.

WELL, IF YOU FIGURE
A HUNDRED PEOPLE...

AND THEY EACH BRING ONE...

-YOU'RE REALLY GONNA
GET A HUNDRED PRESENTS?

-YEAH, OF COURSE, AND THAT'S
NOT INCLUDING THE MONEY.

-LIKE HOW MUCH MONEY?

-IT'S NO SET
AMOUNT, BUT I'D SAY...

MM, MAYBE A THOUSAND BUCKS.

-DID HE SAY...

A THOUSAND BUCKS?

-YOU GOT TO BE CRAZY.
I'M NOT GONNA PAY THAT.

WELL, LET ME TALK
TO THE MECHANIC.

YEAH, YEAH. I'LL HOLD.

-SO, WHAT ARE YOU AND PAUL GONNA
DO FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY THIS YEAR?

-NOTHING, I GUESS.

PAUL'S HAVING HIS BAR MITZVAH.

-IT'S NOT THAT I WAS
JEALOUS OF PAUL.

IT'S NOT THAT I WAS
FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF.

IT'S JUST...

MAYBE THERE WAS A MINIBIKE
IN THIS FOR ME SOMEWHERE.

-THAT'S RIGHT. I FORGOT.

WELL, WHAT ARE WE GONNA
DO ABOUT YOUR BIRTHDAY?

-I DON'T KNOW.

-WELL, IT HAS TO BE
SOMETHING GOOD.

YOU'RE TURNING
13. IT'S A BIG ONE.

-I GUESS.

-JUST NOT THE SAME
WITHOUT PAUL, HUH?

-EITHER THAT, OR IT'S
JUST NOT THE SAME

WITHOUT A HUNDRED
PRESENTS AND A LIVE BAND...

-AWW, HONEY.

-OKAY. GOOD, GOOD.

YOU GOT HER RIGHT
WHERE YOU WANT HER.

NOW HIT HER WITH THE TRUMP CARD.

-WELL, I'M NOT SURE I EVEN
WANT TO DO ANYTHING THIS YEAR.

-THE MARTYR ROUTINE.

-I MEAN, UNLESS SOME...

-$500?!

SINCE WHEN DOES AN
ALTERNATOR COST $500?

WELL, WHAT THE HELL
DOES THE TRANSMISSION

HAVE TO DO WITH THIS?

-LIKE I WAS SAYING,
UNLESS WE COULD DO LIKE...

-LOOK, JUST DON'T
TOUCH MY CAR, ALL RIGHT?

LEAVE IT JUST LIKE YOU FOUND IT!

I'LL BE RIGHT DOWN.

BETTER GRAB YOUR COAT.

I'LL NEED A RIDE
DOWN TO THE GARAGE.

- DON'T WORRY, HON.
- [CLEARS THROAT]

-WE'RE GONNA DO SOMETHING
FUN FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY.

RIGHT, JACK?
- YEAH, HOW ABOUT WE GET KEVIN

A BRAND-NEW ALTERNATOR
FOR HIS BIRTHDAY?

-HAVE SOME MORE CHICKEN, KEVIN.

I MADE IT ESPECIALLY FOR YOU.

-THAT'S RIGHT. THAT'S WHY
IT'S CALLED CHICKEN KIEV-IN.

[LAUGHTER]

-DINNER AT THE PFEIFFERS'. IT
WAS ALWAYS AN EXPERIENCE.

-OKAY, KEVIN...

WHAT'S THAT SAY?

-ALVIN PFEIFFER, OPTOMETRIST.

I THINK I WAS THE ONLY PERSON
HE KNEW WITH 20/20 VISION.

HE LOVED ME.

- "KETCHUP."
- INCREDIBLE.

WHAT A KID, HUH? WHAT A KID!

-AL, LEAVE HIM
ALONE. HE'S EATING.

SOME MORE POTATOES, KEVIN?

-IDA PFEIFFER, MOM
EXTRAORDINAIRE.

I THINK I WAS THE
ONLY PERSON SHE KNEW

WHO REALLY LIKED HER
SCALLOPED POTATOES.

SHE LOVED ME.

-DEBBIE, DON'T SLOUCH.

AND GET YOUR ELBOWS
OFF THE TABLE, PLEASE.

I JUST PUT THAT DOWN FRESH.

-DEBBIE PFEIFFER,
PAUL'S LITTLE SISTER.

THE ONLY GIRL I EVER KNEW

TO WHOM I WAS HER CONCEPT
OF THE IDEAL MALE FORM.

SHE REALLY LOVED ME.

-[CLEARS THROAT] UH, GREAT
CHICKEN, MRS. PFEIFFER.

-CHICKEN.

THAT REMINDS ME OF A STORY.

[CHILDREN GROAN]

-AND GRANDPA PFEIFFER.

HE HAD A THOUSAND STORIES,

AND I WAS THE ONLY PERSON

WHO HADN'T HEARD THEM
ALL A THOUSAND TIMES.

AND SO, OF COURSE...

-KEVIN, WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE...

- HE LOVED ME.

- LIKE MY GRANDSON
TO YOUR RIGHT,

I, TOO, HAD A BAR MITZVAH.

COUSIN HESHY, COUSIN
MOSHE, AND MYSELF.

AND WE WERE VERY POOR,

SO ALL THESE FANCY-SHMANCY
GIFTS THAT YOU KIDS GET TODAY...

THEY WEREN'T AROUND.

SO, DO YOU KNOW

WHAT I GOT FOR MY BAR MITZVAH,

MY ENTRANCE INTO MANHOOD?

-A CHICKEN!

-THAT'S RIGHT! A CHICKEN!

IT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE MUCH,

BUT IN THOSE DAYS
IT WAS LIKE GOLD.

SO, I TOOK THIS CHICKEN,

AND I PUT HIM ON SOME
HAY OUTSIDE THE SHUL.

AND THEN I STARTED ON MY BARUCH.

I WAS VERY, VERY
NERVOUS, LET ME TELL YOU.

SWEAT POURING FROM
EVERY PART OF MY BODY.

-OH, DAD. DAD. DAD!

-I WAS STANDING UP
THERE, DOING MY THING.

IN WALKS THE CHICKEN.

RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE BIMA.

SITS DOWN, STARTS TO CLUCK.

AND [pops lips] OUT POPS AN EGG!

-YOU MUST HAVE BEEN REALLY MAD.

-MAD? NO, NO, NO.

I HAD NO RIGHT TO BE MAD.

IT WAS MY BAR MITZVAH GIFT,
AND AS MY FATHER ALWAYS SAID...

-NEVER LOOK A GIFT
CHICKEN IN THE MOUTH!

-MY FAMILY IS SO WEIRD.

-OH, THIS IS A GREAT OCCASION.

MY FAMILY IS HERE,

MY GRANDSON'S FRIEND IS HERE.

SO, PAUL, TELL ME...

-YEAH?

- YOU STUDIED HARD?

-YEAH.

-YOU KNOW ALL YOUR PRAYERS?

-MM-HMM.

-THEN, I HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU.

-I WONDERED WHAT IT WOULD BE.

MONEY? STOCK
OPTIONS? HIS OWN CAR?

-THE PRAYER BOOK THAT I
USED TO DELIVER MY BARUCH...

ON THAT FATEFUL
NIGHT OF THE CHICKEN.

MY GRANDFATHER GAVE IT TO ME.

AND TONIGHT...

I WISH TO GIVE IT TO YOU.

-WOW!

-POP, HE'LL GET
STAINS ALL OVER IT.

CAN'T THIS WAIT UNTIL WE
CLEAR THE TABLE AT LEAST?

-NO, IT CANNOT.

MY GRANDSON...

YOU ARE ON THE VERGE
OF BECOMING A MAN.

YOU ARE ABOUT TO
INHERIT THE LOVE, THE JOY...

THE BITTERNESS OF OUR PEOPLE,

THE TRADITION.

FROM MY GRANDFATHER,
TO MY FATHER...

TO ME...

TO MY SON...

AND NOW TO YOU.

MAZEL TOV.

-MAZEL TOV.

-MAZEL TOV.

-2,000 BUCKS FOR A '66 IMPALA?

THAT'S A JOKE.

-MAYBE IT WAS THE GLOW OF
THE HALF-GLASS OF MANISCHEWITZ,

BUT I FELT A SUDDEN
RUSH OF FAMILY PRIDE.

I MEAN, MY FAMILY HAD
A RICH TRADITION, TOO.

ALL I HAD TO DO WAS
FIGURE OUT WHAT IT WAS.

-DAD?

-HMM?

-WHERE'S GRANDPA ARNOLD FROM?

-LOOK AT THAT. HIGHWAY ROBBERY.

WHAT'D YOU SAY?

-I SAID, UM, WHERE DID
GRANDPA ARNOLD COME FROM?

-NEWARK.

YOU KNOW, ONE OF
THESE DAYS I'M JUST GONNA

GET RID OF THE DAMN CARS AND
WE'LL ALL TAKE THE DAMN BUS.

-WELL, LIKE I WAS SAYING...

-MOM?

-YEAH?

-I WAS JUST THINKING
ABOUT SOMETHING.

-MM-HMM?

-OH. I-I DON'T KNOW.

SEE, UM, I WAS OVER AT PAUL'S
HOUSE TONIGHT FOR DINNER.

AND, SEE, GRANDPA PFEIFFER
WAS TELLING ALL THESE STORIES

ABOUT HIS BAR MITZVAH

AND WHEN HE LIVED IN
RUSSIA AND EVERYTHING,

AND, UM, I STARTED
THINKING ABOUT OUR FAMILY,

AND I W... [GARBAGE
DISPOSAL GRINDING]

[Loudly]
- IS IT SOME KIND OF LAW

THAT THEY HAVE TO RUN
THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL

AT CRITICAL MOMENTS OF
PSYCHOLOGICAL DEVELOPMENT?!

-MOM?!

[GRINDINGS STOPS]
- YEAH?

-I-I WAS JUST ASKING YOU ABOUT
WHERE OUR FAMILY CAME FROM.

I MEAN, WHAT ARE WE?

-WHAT ARE WE?

-YEAH, YOU KNOW,
LIKE, PAUL'S JEWISH,

AND WINNIE'S IRISH,
SO, WHAT ARE WE?

-OH, WELL, GOSH, KEVIN,

THAT'S KIND OF HARD TO...

WELL, LET ME... LET ME SEE.

JACK'S MOTHER IS ITALIAN.

WELL, ACTUALLY,
SHE'S HALF-ITALIAN

'CAUSE HER MOTHER'S ROMANIAN.

AND THEN, HIS FATHER'S
POLISH. PRETTY SURE ABOUT THAT.

THEN, MY GREAT-GRANDFATHER
CAME OVER FROM SCANDINAVIA.

HE CAME OVER A LONG TIME AGO

AND MARRIED MY
GREAT-GRANDMOTHER,

WHOSE PARENTS WERE WELSH.

BUT, OF COURSE,
SHE GREW UP IN OHIO

BEFORE THEY MOVED TO DETROIT.

-AND AS MY MOTHER TRIED
TO PUT TOGETHER THE STRANDS

OF OUR OLD AND
FADED FAMILY TREE,

I CAME TO REALIZE WHAT
SO MANY AMERICANS DO

IN SEARCH OF THEIR ROOTS...

-OR WAS IT NORWAY?

- I WAS A MUTT.

-SO, THE INVITATIONS
ARE GOING OUT TODAY!

OH, YEAH. I FORGOT.

I HAVE ONE FOR YOU.

SPECIAL DELIVERY!
- THANKS.

-THERE'S GONNA BE SO MANY BABES
AT THIS THING YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE IT.

I'M INVITING SANDY McCLOUSKEY,

JODIE HART, AND
CHRISTINE CAPONE.

AND I'M GONNA MAKE SURE THE
BAND PLAYS PLENTY OF SLOW SONGS.

[BOTH LAUGH]

-AHEM!

"PLEASE SHARE OUR JOY,
AS OUR SON, PAUL JOSHUA,

IS CALLED TO THE TORAH
ON SATURDAY, MARCH EIGHT..."

WAIT A MINUTE.

IT'S ON THE 18th?

-WELL, YEAH, I THOUGHT
YOU KNEW THAT.

-YEAH, BUT...
THAT'S MY BIRTHDAY.

-YEAH, I KNOW, BUT...

-Y-Y-YOU DIDN'T TELL
ME IT WAS ON THE 18th.

-YES, I DID. IT'S SUPPOSED
TO BE ON THE FIRST SATURDAY

AFTER I TURN 13.

-I TOLD YOU THAT.

-YEAH, BUT I DIDN'T REALIZE...

-I DIDN'T PICK FOR IT TO BE
ON THAT DAY OR ANYTHING.

IT'S JUST THAT'S WHEN
IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE.

-I-I KNOW.

-I MEAN, I'D CHANGE
IT IF I COULD,

BUT, I MEAN, YOU KNOW,
IT'S, LIKE, REALLY IMPORTANT.

IT'S LIKE... IT'S
LIKE TRADITION.

-[SIGHS]

-YOU'RE NOT MAD, ARE YOU?

-WELL... NO, I'M NOT MAD.

IT'S JUST I-I'M NOT GONNA
BE ABLE TO COME, IS ALL.

-YOU'RE NOT?

-WELL, NO.

I MEAN, MY PARENTS HAVE
THIS WHOLE, BIG, HUGE THING

PLANNED FOR MY BIRTHDAY.

-NOT EVEN FOR THE CEREMONY?

-WELL, PAUL, I CAN'T HELP IT

IF YOU'RE HAVING YOUR STUPID
BAR MITZVAH ON MY BIRTHDAY!

I MEAN, I'M REALLY
SORRY TO TELL YOU THIS,

BUT YOU'RE NOT THE CENTER
OF THE WHOLE STUPID WORLD!

-♪ HAPPY BIRTHDAY ♪

♪ TO ME ♪

-WRENCH.

NO, NOT THE CRESCENT.
THE THREE-QUARTER.

[WRENCH CRANKS]

- HERE.
- KEVIN, HONEY?

PAUL'S ON THE PHONE. AGAIN.

-JUST TELL HIM I'M BUSY!

-IT'S THE THIRD TIME HE CALLED.

-WELL, I DON'T WANT
TO TALK TO HIM.

I'M HELPING DAD!

-I GUESS THE OLD GUY MUST HAVE
SENSED SOMETHING WAS WRONG.

GO AHEAD, DAD, ASK.

"I HAVEN'T SEEN
PAUL AROUND LATELY.

YOU TWO HAVING A
FIGHT OR SOMETHING?"

-SCREWDRIVER.

-OKAY, SO HE DIDN'T SENSE IT.

I MEAN, WHAT DID I EXPECT?
THE MAN WASN'T A MIND-READER.

I'D JUST TELL HIM WHAT
WAS BOTHERING ME.

-WE AREN'T REALLY TALKING
TO EACH OTHER THESE DAYS.

- HUH?
- PAUL AND ME.

WE AREN'T REALLY
TALKING TO EACH OTHER.

-OH.

-SO, YOU KNOW, I'M NOT GONNA BE
GOING TO HIS STUPID BAR MITZVAH.

-YOU DON'T SAY...

-IT'S ON THE SAME
DAY AS MY BIRTHDAY.

[SCOFFS] MY 13th BIRTHDAY.

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

I MEAN, THE WHOLE
POINT OF A BAR MITZVAH

IS SO DUMB, ANYWAYS.

I MEAN, HE'S ONLY 13 YEARS OLD,

AND EVERYONE'S TELLING
HIM THAT HE'S A MAN.

[SCOFFS] AND THAT'S
REALLY STUPID.

I MEAN, HE'S JUST A LITTLE
KID, DON'T YOU THINK?

DAD?

[WRENCH CRANKS]
- HUH?

OH, YEAH, YEAH.
THAT'S PRETTY STUPID.

-DAD?

-HUH?

-WHEN DID YOU FIRST
LEARN TO WORK ON CARS?

-I DON'T KNOW.

IT'S JUST SOMETHING I PICKED
UP ALONG THE WAY, I GUESS.

[DOG BARKS]

-WAS GRANDPA GOOD
AT WORKING ON CARS?

-OH, SURE. I GUESS I
LEARNED MOSTLY FROM HIM.

-THE FAN BELT
LOOKS A LITTLE LOOSE.

-HUH?

YOU KNOW, YOU'RE RIGHT.

IT'S HALF-ROTTEN.

I DON'T KNOW WHY I DIDN'T
THINK TO CHECK THAT.

HEY, LOOK, THERE'S A EXTRA
FAN BELT IN THE TOOLBOX.

WHY DON'T YOU HELP
ME TRY TO PUT IT ON?

-OKAY!

-AS I WORKED ON THE
CAR WITH MY FATHER,

I BEGAN TO REALIZE WHAT I'D
BEEN LOOKING FOR ALL ALONG.

I JUST NEEDED RECOGNITION,

SOMETHING TO TELL ME
THAT I WAS GROWING UP.

- GO AHEAD. ALL RIGHT.
- OKAY.

-THAT'S GOOD. HEY, WAYNE!

GET OUT HERE AND START THE CAR!

-I-I CAN DO IT!

-NO, I DON'T THINK SO, KEV.
YOU'RE NOT TALL ENOUGH.

HERE, START IT UP NICE AND EASY.
- YES, I AM!

-STEP ASIDE, LITTLE SPROUT.

-DON'T GIVE IT TOO
MUCH GAS TILL I TELL YOU.

I DON'T WANT TO
FLOOD THE ENGINE.

-THE STORY OF MY
12-AND-THREE-QUARTER-YEAR-OLD LIFE.

AS MUCH A MAN AS THE NEXT GUY

UNTIL THE CARDS
WERE ON THE TABLE.

[ENGINE SPUTTERS]

THEN IT'S A FINE
"HOW DO YOU DO,"

A "PAT HIM ON THE HEAD," AND...

-DAMN IT, KEVIN! GET THE
HELL AWAY FROM THAT ENGINE!

THAT THING WILL
TAKE YOUR HAND OFF!

[ENGINE SPUTTERS]

[BANGING]

-NOT ANYMORE.

-♪ HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR KEVIN ♪

♪ HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU ♪

-♪ AND YOU SMELL
LIKE ONE, TOO, YAY ♪

-WELL, MY ENTRANCE
INTO THE TEEN YEARS.

THE BIG 1-3.

COULD IT GET ANY
SWEETER THAN THIS?

-DARN! YOUR DAD WANTED
TO HAVE THE CAR BACK IN TIME

FOR THE PARTY SO WE COULD
ALL GO FOR A RIDE AFTER.

-YEP... PAUL GETS A BAND
AND A THOUSAND BUCKS...

AND I GET A RIDE IN AN
IMPALA WITH A NEW FUEL PUMP.

-WELL, WHY DON'T WE JUST
START? HE'LL BE ALONG.

-HERE. OPEN MINE FIRST.

[PAPER RUSTLING]

-A POEM.

-HERE. I'LL READ IT OUT LOUD.

IT'S CALLED "THE PAIN OF YOUTH."

THE PAIN OF YOUTH...

ALL ITS SLINGS AND ARROWS...

STANDS BREATHLESS, FACING TIME.

EDGING ITS WAY TO
THE RIM OF THE NEST.

HE IS PUSHED, LEFT TO FALL.

FALL.

[VEHICLE APPROACHES]
FALL TO THE EARTH.

AND BREAK, WRITHING IN PAIN.

[HORN HONKS] OOPS! [CHUCKLES]

THAT'S MY RIDE. I GOT TO
GO. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KEV.

-WHY DON'T YOU OPEN THE
REST OF YOUR PRESENTS?

-YEAH, PRESENTS.

WHO NEEDED A RITE OF PASSAGE?

WHO NEEDED A FATHER'S SUPPORT?

I HAD...

-A TURTLENECK.

A BATHROBE.

A WALLET.

- AND FINALLY...
- A THESAURUS.

-WELL, I JUST THOUGHT WHEN YOU WERE
WRITING A TERM PAPER OR SOMETHING,

AND YOU WANTED TO SAY
SOMETHING IS "GOOD," FOR EXAMPLE,

WELL, THEN YOU
JUST TURN TO "GOOD"

AND YOU CAN SAY "CONSIDERATE,"

"UNBLEMISHED," OR "PURE."

-ANY SYNONYMS FOR "EXTREMELY
DISAPPOINTED" IN THERE?

[SIMON & GARFUNKEL'S
"BOOKENDS THEME" PLAYS]

[MAN SINGING IN HEBREW]

-[SINGING IN HEBREW]

[ALL SINGING]

-[SINGING]

-♪ AMEN ♪

[SIMON & GARFUNKEL'S
"BOOKENDS THEME" PLAYS]

-[SINGING]

-♪ YUMMY, YUMMY, YUMMY,
I GOT LOVE IN MY TUMMY ♪

♪ AND I FEEL LIKE
I'M LOVIN' YOU ♪

♪ LOVE, YOU'RE
SUCH A SWEET THING ♪

♪ GOOD-ENOUGH-TO-EAT THING ♪

♪ AND THAT'S JUST
WHAT I'M GONNA DO ♪

♪ OOH, LOVE TO HOLD
YA, OOH, LOVE TO KISS YA ♪

♪ OOH, LOVE, I LOVE IT SO ♪

♪ OOH, LOVE, YOU'RE SWEETER,
SWEETER THAN SUGAR ♪

-I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

-♪ I WON'T LET YOU GO ♪

-HI!

-HI.

-THANKS FOR COMING.

-SORRY I WAS SO LATE.

-THAT'S OKAY.

I FELT LIKE SUCH
A JERK UP THERE.

-NO. YOU WERE GOOD.

YOU HAD THIS BIG THING
HANGING FROM YOUR NOSE,

BUT YOU WERE GOOD.
- STOP IT, BUTTHEAD.

- [LAUGHS]
- HEY, PAUL!

COME ON OVER HERE!
COME ON. DANCE NOW.

- COME ON!
- WHAT?

-JUST COME ON!

["HAVA NAGILA" PLAYS]

-AND SO IT TURNED OUT TO BE
A GREAT BIRTHDAY AFTER ALL.

I SLOW-DANCED WITH
PAUL'S AUNT SELMA.

I ATE MORE THAN MRS. PFEIFFER
COULD HAVE DREAMED POSSIBLE.

AND IN A FUNNY WAY,
WHEN I LOOK BACK ON IT,

I SORT OF FEEL LIKE IT
WAS MY BAR MITZVAH, TOO.

[SIMON & GARFUNKEL'S
"BOOKENDS THEME" PLAYS]

-♪ TIME IT WAS, AND WHAT
A TIME IT WAS, IT WAS ♪

♪ A TIME OF INNOCENCE ♪

♪ A TIME OF CONFIDENCES ♪

♪ LONG AGO, IT MUST BE ♪

♪ I HAVE A PHOTOGRAPH ♪

♪ PRESERVE YOUR MEMORIES ♪

♪ THEY'RE ALL THAT'S LEFT YOU ♪