The Wonder Years (1988–1993): Season 1, Episode 3 - My Father's Office - full transcript
After Kevin asks his Dad about what he does at work, Mr. Arnold brings his son to work at NORCOM and shows him around.
-♪ WHAT WOULD YOU DO
IF I SANG OUT OF TUNE? ♪
♪ WOULD YOU STAND UP
AND WALK OUT ON ME? ♪
♪ LEND ME YOUR EARS,
AND I'LL SING YOU A SONG ♪
♪ I WILL TRY NOT TO
SING OUT OF KEY, YEAH ♪
♪ OH, BABY, I GET BY ♪
- ♪ BY WITH A LITTLE HELP
FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
-♪ ALL I NEED IS MY BUDDIES ♪
-♪ HIGH WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
-♪ I'M SAYIN' I'M GONNA GET HIGHER ♪ - ♪
TRY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
- ♪ WHOA-OA-OA-OA, YEAH ♪
- ♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪
-ALL RIGHT, WILLIE
MAYS FOR JOHNNY...
WHILE THE FEMALE
REMAINS WITH THE YOUNG,
THE MALE VENTURES FORTH
INTO A HOSTILE ENVIRONMENT
TO FIND SUSTENANCE.
HE RETURNS AFTER AN
UNSUCCESSFUL FORAY,
AGGRESSIVE AND UNPREDICTABLE.
NOTICE THE REACTION
OF THE STARTLED MOTHER
AND HER OFFSPRING
AS THEY BEGIN TO SENSE
THE PRESENCE OF THE MALE.
-YOUR FATHER'S HAD A BAD
DAY AT WORK, SO NO NOISE.
HI, HON. HOW WAS WORK?
-WORK'S WORK.
-THE IRRITABLE MALE GIVES
OUT UNMISTAKABLE SIGNALS
THAT TELL THE YOUNG
TO KEEP THEIR DISTANCE.
-LET'S GO PLAY CATCH.
-GOOD IDEA.
-WHEN MY FATHER
HAD A BAD DAY AT WORK,
HE'D JUST SIT IN THE DARK
BY HIMSELF AND WATCH TV.
WE LEARNED EARLY ON THAT
THIS WAS A DANGER SIGNAL,
AND WE ADAPTED OUR
BEHAVIOR ACCORDINGLY.
AND WHEN HE HAD
A REALLY BAD DAY...
I'M TALKING ABOUT A
VERY NOT-GOOD DAY...
HE HAD THIS TELESCOPE,
AND HE'D GO OUT IN THE BACK YARD
AND JUST LOOK
THROUGH IT FOR HOURS.
'MAMAN, NOUS ALLONS...
"DINER EN VEAU CE SOIRE.'
'OUI, MAMAN, DINONS EN VEAU.'"
-THAT'S VERY GOOD, KEVIN.
-DAMN IT, KEVIN!
HOW MANY TIMES I TELL YOU
NOT TO LEAVE YOUR BICYCLE
OUT IN THE DRIVEWAY?!
- BUT I...
- YOU THINK THEY GROW ON TREES?!
IF YOU DON'T WANT
TO TAKE CARE OF IT,
YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE IT!
-BUT I WAS JUST GONNA
RIDE IT OVER TO PAUL'S LATER.
-WELL, NOW YOU'RE NOT
GONNA RIDE IT OVER TO PAUL'S.
YOU'RE GONNA PUT IT AWAY,
AND THEN YOU'RE
GONNA GO TO YOUR ROOM.
-NOW!
-AND THEN SOMETIMES,
YOU KNEW YOU SHOULDN'T DO IT,
BUT YOU JUST COULDN'T
HELP YOURSELF.
-OKAY, OKAY, GET A
GRIP ON YOURSELF.
-YOU GAVE HIM LIP.
-WHAT DID YOU SAY?
-NOTHING.
-I ASKED YOU A QUESTION,
DAMN IT. WHAT DID YOU SAY?
-NOTHING!
-WE HAVE CERTAIN RULES
AROUND HERE, YOUNG MAN,
AND YOU'RE GONNA FOLLOW THEM!
AND THE FIRST ONE IS YOU
TAKE CARE OF YOUR OWN STUFF!
-♪ ALL YOUR LIFE ♪
-I GUESS WE REALLY
DIDN'T UNDERSTAND
WHY HE WAS SO HARD
ON US SOMETIMES.
BECAUSE SOMETIMES...
AND I REMEMBER THESE
TIMES SO DISTINCTLY...
MY DAD COULD BE GREAT.
- ♪ ALL YOUR LIFE ♪
-HE COULD BE SO MUCH FUN.
YOU NEVER WANTED
THAT FEELING TO END.
AND THEN, FOR SOME REASON...
IT ALWAYS WOULD.
-NOW, LOOK...
FIRST YOU HAVE TO HAVE
SOMETHING YOU REALLY WANT TO BE,
AND THEN YOU HAVE TO
HAVE YOUR FALLBACK POSITION.
SO, LIKE, I WANT TO BE A
PROFESSIONAL BASEBALL PLAYER,
BUT MY FALLBACKS ARE EITHER AN
ASTRONAUT OR A FOREST RANGER.
-OKAY, OKAY.
I WANT TO BE A PROFESSIONAL
BASEBALL PLAYER, TOO.
-AND WHAT'S YOUR FALLBACK?
-A PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL PLAYER.
-WHAT'S YOUR FALLBACK
A LITTLE FURTHER?
-I DON'T KNOW.
PROBABLY GO INTO
BUSINESS WITH MY FATHER.
-WELL, WHAT'S YOUR DAD DO?
-I DON'T KNOW.
HE WORKS.
-YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT
YOUR FATHER DOES?
I MEAN, THAT'S THE
MOST STUPIDEST THING
I'VE EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE.
-YEAH, WELL, WHAT
DOES YOUR FATHER DO?
-HE WORKS AT NORCOM.
-YEAH, HE WORKS AT NORCOM.
-NORCOM? WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
-IT'S A COMPANY, MORON.
-WHAT DOES HE DO
THERE? IS HE THE JANITOR?
-NO, HE'S THE MANAGER, JERK.
-WHAT DOES HE
MANAGE, TOILET BOWLS?
-NO, BUSINESS, STUPID!
HE MANAGES BUSINESS.
-HE MANAGES BUSINESS?
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT
SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
-AND THAT'S WHEN IT HIT ME.
I HAD ABSOLUTELY NO
IDEA WHAT THAT MEANT.
FORTUNATELY, WAYNE WAS ABLE
TO SALVAGE SOME OF
OUR FAMILY DIGNITY.
-SEE, YOU'RE TOO STUPID
TO UNDERSTAND ANYWAY, SO...
SO... PBHT!
-OH, YEAH? PBHT!
- PBHT!
- PBHT!
-PBHT!
-IN SAIGON TODAY, THE
GOVERNMENT NEWS AGENCY SAID
THAT PRESIDENT THIEU
WILL OFFER A NEW PEACE
PROPOSAL OF HIS OWN.
-IT'S TOO LONG.
-IF I MADE IT ANY SHORTER,
IT WOULD BE A HEADBAND.
- POSTPONEMENT OF
VICTORY FOR SOUTH VIETNAM.
IN PARIS, THE
NORTH VIETNAMESE...
- HEY, MOM?
- HMM?
-WHAT DOES DAD DO FOR A LIVING?
-WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WHAT
DOES HE DO FOR A LIVING?
HE WORKS FOR NORCOM.
-YEAH, I KNOW. BUT
WHAT DOES NORCOM DO?
-IT'S PART OF THE
MILITARY-INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX.
-IT IS NOT.
THEY MAKE THOSE LITTLE THINGIES.
YOU KNOW, ELECTRO SOMETHING.
I FORGET WHAT THEY'RE CALLED.
-THOSE LITTLE
THINGIES ARE HELPING
TO BURN VILLAGES AND KILL
CHILDREN IN SOUTHEAST ASIA.
-THEY ARE THIS
BIG, FOR GOD'S SAKE.
THEY'RE NOT KILLING
ANYBODY'S CHILDREN.
-BUT YOU ADMIT THAT THEY'RE
USED FOR MILITARY PURPOSES.
-THEY'RE USED IN TOASTERS
AND COFFEE MAKERS.
-OH. SO THE MILITARY
DOES NEED TOAST.
-KAREN, FOR GOD'S SAKE.
-BUT DAD DOESN'T ACTUALLY MAKE
THOSE LITTLE THINGIES, DOES HE?
-WELL, NO, OF COURSE HE
DOESN'T ACTUALLY MAKE THEM.
-THEN WHAT DOES HE DO?
-WELL, HE'S A MANAGER.
HE MANAGES DISTRIBUTION AND
PRODUCT-SUPPORT SERVICES.
-MY MOTHER OBVIOUSLY HOPED
THE TONE OF HER DECLARATION
WOULD FORESTALL THE
ONE GLARING QUESTION
THAT ITS SUBSTANCE RAISED.
-WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
-NO SUCH LUCK.
-KEVIN...
WHY THE SUDDEN INTEREST
IN YOUR FATHER'S JOB?
-I DON'T KNOW.
I JUST WONDERED.
-WELL, THAT SOUNDS LIKE HIM NOW.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST
GO ASK HIM YOURSELF?
HI, HON!
HOW WAS YOUR DAY?
-A DAY'S A DAY.
-YEAH.
"ASK HIM YOURSELF."
EASY FOR HER TO SAY.
THE MAN HAD GRUNTED
EXACTLY TWICE
IN THREE AND A HALF HOURS.
I DIDN'T SEE ANYBODY
ELSE LINING UP
TO PROBE HIS INNER LIFE.
-DAD?
DAD, WHAT DO YOU DO ALL DAY?
-AW, MAN! I CAN'T BELIEVE
THEY LOST TO THE SENATORS.
WHAT'D YOU SAY?
-I SAID...
WHAT DO YOU DO ALL DAY?
-WHAT DO I DO ALL DAY?
SHOVEL OTHER PEOPLE'S
CRAP SO YOU KIDS CAN EAT.
-OKAY, THAT WAS PRETTY SPECIFIC.
NO NEED TO PRESS THE ISSUE.
-NO, I MEAN... WHAT DO YOU DO?
-WHAT? I WORK AT
NORCOM. YOU KNOW THAT.
-YEAH, I KNOW, BUT
WHAT DO YOU DO THERE?
-COME ON, KEVIN.
I WORK ALL DAY,
AND ALL I ASK NOW
IS TO SIT HERE AND WATCH THIS...
-♪ BUCKLE UP, BUCKLE
UP FOR SAFETY... ♪
-GREAT.
IS TWO MINUTES' PEACE AND QUIET
TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR AROUND HERE?
-♪ ...IF YOUR SEATBELT'S
BUCKLED, EVERYBODY, BUCKLE UP ♪
-NOW, WHAT DO YOU WANT?
-NATIONAL SAFETY COUNCIL SAYS,
IF YOU DON'T HAVE SEATBELTS,
GET THEM.
- FORGET IT.
-IF YOU DO HAVE
SEATBELTS, USE THEM.
-NOW, I WAS IN BED, SULKING,
SO I CAN ONLY IMAGINE
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT.
BUT YOU HAVE TO BEAR IN MIND
THAT, WHEN IT CAME
TO SURVEILLANCE,
THE KGB HAD NOTHING
ON MY MOTHER.
-COULDN'T HELP BUT
OVERHEAR A LITTLE BIT.
-OVERHEAR WHAT?
-HE JUST WANTS TO
KNOW WHAT YOU DO, JACK.
-HE KNOWS WHAT I
DO. I WORK AT NORCOM.
-YEAH, BUT HE WANTS TO
KNOW WHAT THAT'S LIKE.
YOU GOT TO RELAX A LITTLE, JACK.
-DAMN IT, NORMA,
DON'T TELL ME TO RELAX.
I MEAN, WHAT DOES
HE WANT TO KNOW?
ABOUT THE SEVEN S-14
FORMS I GOT TO FILL OUT
EVERY TIME I TURN AROUND?
ABOUT THE WHINING CUSTOMERS?
ABOUT THE INCOMPETENT
JACKASSES IN SHIPPING AND RECEIVING?
-YEAH.
YES, I THINK THAT'S EXACTLY
WHAT HE WANTS TO KNOW.
HE WANTS TO KNOW
MORE ABOUT YOU, JACK.
I DON'T KNOW WHY THAT'S SO
HARD FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND.
-UH...
HIYA, KEVIN.
-OH, NO, PAL.
YOU THINK IT'S
GONNA BE THAT EASY?
YOU HURT MY FEELINGS,
AND NOW YOU HAVE TO PAY
THE PIPER.
- UH...
SO, YOU WANT TO KNOW
WHAT I DO AT WORK, HUH?
-THAT'S IT, DON'T
LOOK HIM IN THE EYE.
DON'T LOOK HIM IN THE EYE.
DON'T LOOK HIM... OH,
GEEZ, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
YOU'RE KILLING ME HERE.
-IT'S, UH...
NO BIG DEAL, YOU KNOW?
MOSTLY PUSHING PAPERS
FROM OVER HERE TO OVER THERE.
IT'S... NOT SOME BIG,
GLAMOROUS THING.
-OKAY, FINE. LOOK AT HIM.
LOOK AT HIM ALL YOU
WANT. JUST NO WORDS, OKAY?
-WHAT DO THE PAPERS SAY?
-WHAT'S YOUR OFFICE LIKE?
-IT'S AN OFFICE.
FOUR WALLS, A CEILING,
A DOOR.
-DO YOU HAVE FILE CABINETS?
-YEAH, I GOT FILE CABINETS. WHY?
-I DON'T KNOW. I JUST WONDERED.
-LOOK, KEVIN, UM...
WHY DON'T YOU COME INTO
THE OFFICE WITH ME TOMORROW?
YOU SEE FOR YOURSELF.
I'LL WRITE YOU A NOTE, OKAY?
OKAY?
-OKAY.
-OKAY.
GOOD NIGHT.
YOU SET YOUR ALARM FOR 6:30.
I DON'T WANT TO
BE WAITING FOR YOU.
- YEARS AGO, THE BRITISH
GOVERNMENT BANNED
CIGARETTE ADVERTISING
ON COMMERCIAL TELEVISION.
WHEN COMMERCIAL TELEVISION
BEGAN IN BRITAIN IN 1955,
CIGARETTES WERE ADVERTISED,
BUT AS MORE AND MORE...
-KEVIN, YOU LOOK SO NICE!
KAREN, DOESN'T YOUR
BROTHER LOOK JUST SO NICE?
-HE LOOKS LIKE A LITTLE
RUNNING-DOG CAPITALIST PIG.
WHAT, UNCLE SID
FINALLY KICK THE BUCKET?
-WAYNE!
-WELL, WHAT'S WITH
SIR LANCELOT HERE?
-YOUR BROTHER HAD AN INTEREST
IN WHAT YOUR FATHER DOES,
SO HE'S GOING TO
THE OFFICE WITH HIM.
-YOU MEAN INSTEAD OF SCHOOL?
-YEP.
-WELL, I'VE ALWAYS BEEN
INTERESTED IN DAD'S WORK.
I WANT TO GO, TOO.
GIVE ME THAT TOAST, BUTTHEAD.
-WE BETTER GO.
TRAFFIC'S GONNA BE HELL.
-AND SO I WENT TO
WORK WITH MY FATHER.
I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY
WHAT I EXPECTED
TO LEARN ABOUT HIM THERE.
I GUESS I WAS
LOOKING FOR CLUES...
SOMETHING TO EXPLAIN
WHY HE WAS THE WAY HE WAS.
- ♪ AHH-AHH-AHH ♪
♪ AH-AHH ♪
-EVERYBODY, THIS
IS MY SON, KEVIN.
THIS IS PHYLLIS AND STAN
AND BETTY AND MARIAN.
-HI, THERE!
-YOU LOOK JUST
LIKE YOUR OLD MAN!
- OH, MY GOODNESS,
HE'S ADORABLE.
- YOU'RE SO CUTE!
-WHAT AN ANGEL.
LOOK AT THOSE CHEEKS!
-YOU GOT THE FEELING
THEY DIDN'T SEE A LOT OF
12-YEAR-OLDS AROUND HERE.
-AND WHAT ARE YOU GONNA
BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
-ARE YOU GOING TO COME
TO WORK WITH US AT NORCOM?
-OF COURSE, I KNEW
EXACTLY WHAT I WAS GONNA BE
WHEN I GREW UP...
EITHER A CENTER FIELDER
FOR THE SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS
OR A CREWMEMBER OF THE FIRST
MANNED SPACE FLIGHT TO MARS.
-ARE YOU GONNA
GO INTO DISTRIBUTION
LIKE YOUR FATHER, HMM?
-I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE.
-UH, COME ON, KEVIN.
I'LL SHOW YOU MY OFFICE.
EXCUSE ME.
-OHH!
-DAD'S OFFICE WASN'T IMPRESSIVE
THE WAY, SAY, THE
APOLLO 8 WAS IMPRESSIVE.
BUT IT DID HAVE A LOT OF
PRETTY COOL STUFF IN IT...
A BIG EXECUTIVE DESK,
A PHONE WITH LOTS OF
FLASHING LIGHTS AND BUTTONS,
AND A SWIVEL CHAIR.
-CAN I SIT IN YOUR CHAIR?
- SURE.
- THANKS.
-PHYLLIS, PULL THE QUARTERLY
DISTRIBUTION REPORTS...
OH, AND THE, UH,
WEST COAST SHIPPING
STATEMENTS FOR SEPTEMBER.
- Right.
- THANKS.
-HERE. NO, YOU CAN SIT HERE.
-NO, NO, NO. IT'S OKAY.
IT'S OKAY. SIT DOWN. SIT DOWN.
OKAY, FIRST THING YOU GOT
TO LEARN ABOUT AROUND HERE
IS THE S-14 FORM.
YOU GOT TO FILL ONE OF
THESE BABIES OUT EVERY TIME...
HANG ON.
YEAH, PHYLLIS?
- Jeff Meyers on one.
-OKAY.
HELLO, JEFF? HOW ARE YOU?
GOOD, GOOD. REALLY?
NO, LOOK, JEFF, I TOLD
HIM THE SAME THING,
BUT HE SAID THAT NuTech
WANTED THOSE 1018s.
WELL, JEFF, JEFF, THAT'S
NOT REALLY MY PROBLEM.
I MEAN, THEY SHOULD KNOW
THEIR OWN SYSTEM, RIGHT?
YEAH, OKAY.
O-OKAY, I'LL SEE YOU.
MM-HMM.
BE WITH YOU IN JUST
A MINUTE HERE, KEVIN.
-Peter Dante on two.
-YEAH, PHYLLIS, THANKS.
HELLO, PETE.
YEAH, JACK ARNOLD. HOW ARE YOU?
GOOD, GOOD.
LISTEN, PETE, I WAS JUST
TALKING TO JEFF MEYERS OVER AT...
I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW!
I'M CHECKING ON IT RIGHT NOW.
OH, WELL, HELL, PETE! THEY CAN
JUST GET SOMEONE ELSE, THEN.
-I HAD NO IDEA WHAT MY
FATHER WAS TALKING ABOUT,
BUT SUDDENLY I FELL IN LOVE
WITH THE RHYTHM
AND FLOW OF IT ALL.
THE WAY HE PUNCHED
THOSE PHONE BUTTONS,
FLIPPED THROUGH
PAPERS, GAVE ORDERS.
HE HAD POWER, AUTHORITY...
JUST LIKE AT HOME,
ONLY HERE IT WAS EVEN MORE
MYSTERIOUS AND IMPRESSIVE.
-HELLO, PETE, LISTEN, I'M
WORKING ON IT RIGHT NOW.
I'LL GET BACK TO YOU AS
SOON AS I CAN. THANKS.
LOOK, YOU CALL ALBUQUERQUE,
YOU TELL THEM RUSTY
ORDERED AN A.G. LANFORD,
AND YOU GET ME THE PURCHASE
ORDERS FROM LAST WEEK.
I FORGOT MY BRIEFCASE
IN THE CAR. KEVIN.
-I IMAGINED MYSELF
IN THAT ROLE...
ADMINISTERING
THINGS, GIVING ORDERS,
CHEWING PEOPLE OUT.
-WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?
-WELL, MR. ARNOLD, SIR,
I-IF... IF YOU'RE
NOT TOO BUSY, SIR,
I-I HAVE SOME PAPERS
FOR YOUR APPROVAL, SIR.
-SURE, I DO EVERYTHING
ELSE AROUND HERE, DON'T I?
-THANK YOU, SIR.
-GOOD MORNING, BUTTFACE!
-G-GOOD MORNING, SIR.
I SPENT ALL LAST NIGHT
WORKING ON THESE
FOR YOUR APPROVAL, SIR.
-THEY STINK!
DO 'EM OVER AGAIN.
-THANK YOU, SIR.
-YEAH, THIS WAS OKAY.
LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON, I GUESS.
-WISANSKI, BRING THE
PURCHASE ORDERS.
PHYLLIS, GET PETE BACK FOR ME.
- Okay.
-WHAT'S THIS?
- UH, WE NEED THESE
APPROVED BY FRIDAY.
- UH-HUH.
-AND WE'RE HAVING A
PROBLEM WITH STI IN PHOENIX.
THE OCTOBER SHIPMENT'S LATE.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
"LATE," HOW LATE,
AND WHEN'D YOU FIND THIS OUT?
-WELL, THEY CALLED YESTERDAY,
BUT I THOUGHT MAYBE IT
WOULD GET THERE BY TODAY.
IT WENT OUT ON THE 14th.
- YOU THOUGH MAYBE
IT WOULD GET THERE BY TODAY?
WHAT THE HELL?
-PHYLLIS, GET ME
SOUTHWEST EXPRESS, PLEASE.
-WELL, ACTUALLY, WE'RE
USING A NEW CARRIER.
MAYBE THEY, UM, YOU KNOW...
- YOU WHAT?
YOU WENT WITH A NEW CARRIER?
JESUS, WISANSKI, YOU
DIDN'T CLEAR THAT WITH ME.
IF THIS SCREWS UP
THE DAMN ACCOUNT,
WE'RE ALL GONNA BE...
- LOOK, I'M SORRY.
MAYBE I SHOULD GO DOWN THERE.
- LOOK, NO.
IT'S OKAY. I'LL HANDLE IT.
NEXT TIME, CHECK FIRST WITH ME.
TELL YOU WHAT, KEVIN...
IT IS TIME YOU LEARNED
ABOUT THE MOST IMPORTANT
PART OF THE WORKING DAY...
THE COFFEE BREAK.
COME ON.
-JACK, MR. KELLER'S ON LINE ONE.
TELL HIM I'M NOT HERE.
-OH, UH, B-BUT HE SOUNDS
LIKE IT'S IMPORTANT.
-COME ON.
-UH...
-SURE THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT?
-YEAH.
I LIKE IT BLACK.
-UH-HUH.
HUH. YOU LEARN
SOMETHING NEW EVERY DAY.
-DAD?
-HMM?
-WHEN DID YOU DECIDE YOU
WANTED TO BECOME A MANAGER
OF DISTRIBUTION AND
PRODUCT-SUPPORT SERVICES?
OH, SORRY.
IT'S JUST A FUNNY
SORT OF A THOUGHT...
REALLY WANTING TO BE THE MANAGER
OF DISTRIBUTION AND
PRODUCT-SUPPORT SERVICES.
I MEAN, IT'S A
GOOD JOB, BUT, UH...
IT'S NOT WHAT I THOUGHT
I'D BE DOING WITH MY LIFE.
-WHAT DID YOU WANT TO DO?
-WHAT, ARE YOU KIDDING?
PROFESSIONAL BASEBALL PLAYER.
-NO, REALLY.
-REALLY?
WELL, I DID HAVE A
FALLBACK POSITION.
-THIS JOB?
-NO. NOT THIS JOB.
I NEVER TOLD
ANYBODY THIS BEFORE...
NOT EVEN YOUR MOTHER...
BUT WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE,
I WANTED TO BE A
CAPTAIN OF A SHIP.
-THE CAPTAIN OF A SHIP?
-YEAH, YOU KNOW, ONE
OF THOSE BIG OCEAN LINERS
OR A FREIGHTER OR
AN OIL TANKER OR...
BE OUT THERE ON THE OCEAN
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT,
NAVIGATING BY THE STARS.
OF COURSE, THEY USE
INSTRUMENTS FOR ALL OF THAT NOW,
BUT I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
YEAH, I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE
THE GREATEST THING IN THE WORLD.
-HOW COME YOU DIDN'T DO IT?
-HOW COME?
WELL, YOU KNOW, ONE
THING LEADS TO ANOTHER.
WENT OFF TO COLLEGE,
MET YOUR MOM.
NEXT SUMMER, I GOT A JOB ON A
LOADING DOCK HERE AT NORCOM.
THE REST IS HISTORY.
-YOU WOULD HAVE MADE A
GREAT SHIP'S CAPTAIN, DAD.
-NAH, PROBABLY NOT.
PROBABLY GET SEASICK.
YOU KNOW, KEVIN,
YOU CAN'T DO EVERY SILLY
THING YOU WANT TO IN LIFE.
YOU HAVE TO MAKE YOUR CHOICES.
YOU HAVE TO TRY AND
BE HAPPY WITH THEM.
I THINK WE'VE DONE
PRETTY WELL. DON'T YOU?
-YEAH. I THINK WE'VE DONE GREAT.
-BUT AS WE WALKED BACK
TO MY FATHER'S OFFICE,
I SUDDENLY REALIZED SOMETHING
THAT MADE A LOT OF
THINGS MAKE SENSE.
MY DAD WAS TOO
GOOD FOR THIS PLACE.
SURE, IT WAS A GOOD JOB,
AND WE WERE ALL LUCKY
HE HAD IT AND ALL THAT,
BUT MY DAD HAD
SOMETHING FINER IN HIM
THAN S-14s AND
DISTRIBUTION REPORTS.
I'LL NEVER FORGET HOW
I FELT AT THAT MOMENT.
I FELT THAT MY FATHER
WAS A GREAT MAN.
-WHAT THE HELL IS THIS, ARNOLD?!
THIS IS INCOMPETENCE,
JUST PLAIN INCOMPETENCE!
-LOOK, AL,
WISANSKI'S A LITTLE...
-NO, NEVER MIND WISANSKI!
HE WORKS FOR YOU!
NOW, THIS IS THE THIRD MAJOR
SCREW-UP IN YOUR DEPARTMENT
IN THE LAST TWO MONTHS.
NOW, IF YOU CAN'T HIRE COMPETENT
PEOPLE AND SUPERVISE THEM,
WE CAN FIND SOMEBODY THAT CAN!
-IT'S BEING TAKEN CARE OF.
-WELL, IT SURE AS
HELL BETTER BE!
OH, AND ONE MORE THING.
THE NEXT TIME THAT I TRY
TO GET YOU ON THE PHONE,
YOU BETTER BE THERE
TO TAKE THE CALL!
NOW, DO YOU READ ME, ARNOLD?!
DO YOU READ ME?!
-YEAH, AL, I READ YOU.
-GOOD!
-THAT NIGHT, MY
FATHER STOOD THERE,
LOOKING UP AT THE SKY
THE WAY HE ALWAYS DID.
- ♪ ALL YOUR LIFE ♪
- BUT SUDDENLY, I REALIZED
I WASN'T AFRAID OF HIM IN
QUITE THE SAME WAY ANYMORE.
THE FUNNY THING IS, I FELT
LIKE I'D LOST SOMETHING.
-COME HERE, KEVIN.
THAT'S POLARIS, THE NORTH STAR.
THAT'S HOW THE SAILORS
USED TO FIND THEIR WAY HOME.
-♪ BLACKBIRD FLY ♪
IF I SANG OUT OF TUNE? ♪
♪ WOULD YOU STAND UP
AND WALK OUT ON ME? ♪
♪ LEND ME YOUR EARS,
AND I'LL SING YOU A SONG ♪
♪ I WILL TRY NOT TO
SING OUT OF KEY, YEAH ♪
♪ OH, BABY, I GET BY ♪
- ♪ BY WITH A LITTLE HELP
FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
-♪ ALL I NEED IS MY BUDDIES ♪
-♪ HIGH WITH A LITTLE
HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
-♪ I'M SAYIN' I'M GONNA GET HIGHER ♪ - ♪
TRY WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS ♪
- ♪ WHOA-OA-OA-OA, YEAH ♪
- ♪ OOH, OOH, OOH ♪
-ALL RIGHT, WILLIE
MAYS FOR JOHNNY...
WHILE THE FEMALE
REMAINS WITH THE YOUNG,
THE MALE VENTURES FORTH
INTO A HOSTILE ENVIRONMENT
TO FIND SUSTENANCE.
HE RETURNS AFTER AN
UNSUCCESSFUL FORAY,
AGGRESSIVE AND UNPREDICTABLE.
NOTICE THE REACTION
OF THE STARTLED MOTHER
AND HER OFFSPRING
AS THEY BEGIN TO SENSE
THE PRESENCE OF THE MALE.
-YOUR FATHER'S HAD A BAD
DAY AT WORK, SO NO NOISE.
HI, HON. HOW WAS WORK?
-WORK'S WORK.
-THE IRRITABLE MALE GIVES
OUT UNMISTAKABLE SIGNALS
THAT TELL THE YOUNG
TO KEEP THEIR DISTANCE.
-LET'S GO PLAY CATCH.
-GOOD IDEA.
-WHEN MY FATHER
HAD A BAD DAY AT WORK,
HE'D JUST SIT IN THE DARK
BY HIMSELF AND WATCH TV.
WE LEARNED EARLY ON THAT
THIS WAS A DANGER SIGNAL,
AND WE ADAPTED OUR
BEHAVIOR ACCORDINGLY.
AND WHEN HE HAD
A REALLY BAD DAY...
I'M TALKING ABOUT A
VERY NOT-GOOD DAY...
HE HAD THIS TELESCOPE,
AND HE'D GO OUT IN THE BACK YARD
AND JUST LOOK
THROUGH IT FOR HOURS.
'MAMAN, NOUS ALLONS...
"DINER EN VEAU CE SOIRE.'
'OUI, MAMAN, DINONS EN VEAU.'"
-THAT'S VERY GOOD, KEVIN.
-DAMN IT, KEVIN!
HOW MANY TIMES I TELL YOU
NOT TO LEAVE YOUR BICYCLE
OUT IN THE DRIVEWAY?!
- BUT I...
- YOU THINK THEY GROW ON TREES?!
IF YOU DON'T WANT
TO TAKE CARE OF IT,
YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE IT!
-BUT I WAS JUST GONNA
RIDE IT OVER TO PAUL'S LATER.
-WELL, NOW YOU'RE NOT
GONNA RIDE IT OVER TO PAUL'S.
YOU'RE GONNA PUT IT AWAY,
AND THEN YOU'RE
GONNA GO TO YOUR ROOM.
-NOW!
-AND THEN SOMETIMES,
YOU KNEW YOU SHOULDN'T DO IT,
BUT YOU JUST COULDN'T
HELP YOURSELF.
-OKAY, OKAY, GET A
GRIP ON YOURSELF.
-YOU GAVE HIM LIP.
-WHAT DID YOU SAY?
-NOTHING.
-I ASKED YOU A QUESTION,
DAMN IT. WHAT DID YOU SAY?
-NOTHING!
-WE HAVE CERTAIN RULES
AROUND HERE, YOUNG MAN,
AND YOU'RE GONNA FOLLOW THEM!
AND THE FIRST ONE IS YOU
TAKE CARE OF YOUR OWN STUFF!
-♪ ALL YOUR LIFE ♪
-I GUESS WE REALLY
DIDN'T UNDERSTAND
WHY HE WAS SO HARD
ON US SOMETIMES.
BECAUSE SOMETIMES...
AND I REMEMBER THESE
TIMES SO DISTINCTLY...
MY DAD COULD BE GREAT.
- ♪ ALL YOUR LIFE ♪
-HE COULD BE SO MUCH FUN.
YOU NEVER WANTED
THAT FEELING TO END.
AND THEN, FOR SOME REASON...
IT ALWAYS WOULD.
-NOW, LOOK...
FIRST YOU HAVE TO HAVE
SOMETHING YOU REALLY WANT TO BE,
AND THEN YOU HAVE TO
HAVE YOUR FALLBACK POSITION.
SO, LIKE, I WANT TO BE A
PROFESSIONAL BASEBALL PLAYER,
BUT MY FALLBACKS ARE EITHER AN
ASTRONAUT OR A FOREST RANGER.
-OKAY, OKAY.
I WANT TO BE A PROFESSIONAL
BASEBALL PLAYER, TOO.
-AND WHAT'S YOUR FALLBACK?
-A PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL PLAYER.
-WHAT'S YOUR FALLBACK
A LITTLE FURTHER?
-I DON'T KNOW.
PROBABLY GO INTO
BUSINESS WITH MY FATHER.
-WELL, WHAT'S YOUR DAD DO?
-I DON'T KNOW.
HE WORKS.
-YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT
YOUR FATHER DOES?
I MEAN, THAT'S THE
MOST STUPIDEST THING
I'VE EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE.
-YEAH, WELL, WHAT
DOES YOUR FATHER DO?
-HE WORKS AT NORCOM.
-YEAH, HE WORKS AT NORCOM.
-NORCOM? WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
-IT'S A COMPANY, MORON.
-WHAT DOES HE DO
THERE? IS HE THE JANITOR?
-NO, HE'S THE MANAGER, JERK.
-WHAT DOES HE
MANAGE, TOILET BOWLS?
-NO, BUSINESS, STUPID!
HE MANAGES BUSINESS.
-HE MANAGES BUSINESS?
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT
SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
-AND THAT'S WHEN IT HIT ME.
I HAD ABSOLUTELY NO
IDEA WHAT THAT MEANT.
FORTUNATELY, WAYNE WAS ABLE
TO SALVAGE SOME OF
OUR FAMILY DIGNITY.
-SEE, YOU'RE TOO STUPID
TO UNDERSTAND ANYWAY, SO...
SO... PBHT!
-OH, YEAH? PBHT!
- PBHT!
- PBHT!
-PBHT!
-IN SAIGON TODAY, THE
GOVERNMENT NEWS AGENCY SAID
THAT PRESIDENT THIEU
WILL OFFER A NEW PEACE
PROPOSAL OF HIS OWN.
-IT'S TOO LONG.
-IF I MADE IT ANY SHORTER,
IT WOULD BE A HEADBAND.
- POSTPONEMENT OF
VICTORY FOR SOUTH VIETNAM.
IN PARIS, THE
NORTH VIETNAMESE...
- HEY, MOM?
- HMM?
-WHAT DOES DAD DO FOR A LIVING?
-WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WHAT
DOES HE DO FOR A LIVING?
HE WORKS FOR NORCOM.
-YEAH, I KNOW. BUT
WHAT DOES NORCOM DO?
-IT'S PART OF THE
MILITARY-INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX.
-IT IS NOT.
THEY MAKE THOSE LITTLE THINGIES.
YOU KNOW, ELECTRO SOMETHING.
I FORGET WHAT THEY'RE CALLED.
-THOSE LITTLE
THINGIES ARE HELPING
TO BURN VILLAGES AND KILL
CHILDREN IN SOUTHEAST ASIA.
-THEY ARE THIS
BIG, FOR GOD'S SAKE.
THEY'RE NOT KILLING
ANYBODY'S CHILDREN.
-BUT YOU ADMIT THAT THEY'RE
USED FOR MILITARY PURPOSES.
-THEY'RE USED IN TOASTERS
AND COFFEE MAKERS.
-OH. SO THE MILITARY
DOES NEED TOAST.
-KAREN, FOR GOD'S SAKE.
-BUT DAD DOESN'T ACTUALLY MAKE
THOSE LITTLE THINGIES, DOES HE?
-WELL, NO, OF COURSE HE
DOESN'T ACTUALLY MAKE THEM.
-THEN WHAT DOES HE DO?
-WELL, HE'S A MANAGER.
HE MANAGES DISTRIBUTION AND
PRODUCT-SUPPORT SERVICES.
-MY MOTHER OBVIOUSLY HOPED
THE TONE OF HER DECLARATION
WOULD FORESTALL THE
ONE GLARING QUESTION
THAT ITS SUBSTANCE RAISED.
-WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
-NO SUCH LUCK.
-KEVIN...
WHY THE SUDDEN INTEREST
IN YOUR FATHER'S JOB?
-I DON'T KNOW.
I JUST WONDERED.
-WELL, THAT SOUNDS LIKE HIM NOW.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST
GO ASK HIM YOURSELF?
HI, HON!
HOW WAS YOUR DAY?
-A DAY'S A DAY.
-YEAH.
"ASK HIM YOURSELF."
EASY FOR HER TO SAY.
THE MAN HAD GRUNTED
EXACTLY TWICE
IN THREE AND A HALF HOURS.
I DIDN'T SEE ANYBODY
ELSE LINING UP
TO PROBE HIS INNER LIFE.
-DAD?
DAD, WHAT DO YOU DO ALL DAY?
-AW, MAN! I CAN'T BELIEVE
THEY LOST TO THE SENATORS.
WHAT'D YOU SAY?
-I SAID...
WHAT DO YOU DO ALL DAY?
-WHAT DO I DO ALL DAY?
SHOVEL OTHER PEOPLE'S
CRAP SO YOU KIDS CAN EAT.
-OKAY, THAT WAS PRETTY SPECIFIC.
NO NEED TO PRESS THE ISSUE.
-NO, I MEAN... WHAT DO YOU DO?
-WHAT? I WORK AT
NORCOM. YOU KNOW THAT.
-YEAH, I KNOW, BUT
WHAT DO YOU DO THERE?
-COME ON, KEVIN.
I WORK ALL DAY,
AND ALL I ASK NOW
IS TO SIT HERE AND WATCH THIS...
-♪ BUCKLE UP, BUCKLE
UP FOR SAFETY... ♪
-GREAT.
IS TWO MINUTES' PEACE AND QUIET
TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR AROUND HERE?
-♪ ...IF YOUR SEATBELT'S
BUCKLED, EVERYBODY, BUCKLE UP ♪
-NOW, WHAT DO YOU WANT?
-NATIONAL SAFETY COUNCIL SAYS,
IF YOU DON'T HAVE SEATBELTS,
GET THEM.
- FORGET IT.
-IF YOU DO HAVE
SEATBELTS, USE THEM.
-NOW, I WAS IN BED, SULKING,
SO I CAN ONLY IMAGINE
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT.
BUT YOU HAVE TO BEAR IN MIND
THAT, WHEN IT CAME
TO SURVEILLANCE,
THE KGB HAD NOTHING
ON MY MOTHER.
-COULDN'T HELP BUT
OVERHEAR A LITTLE BIT.
-OVERHEAR WHAT?
-HE JUST WANTS TO
KNOW WHAT YOU DO, JACK.
-HE KNOWS WHAT I
DO. I WORK AT NORCOM.
-YEAH, BUT HE WANTS TO
KNOW WHAT THAT'S LIKE.
YOU GOT TO RELAX A LITTLE, JACK.
-DAMN IT, NORMA,
DON'T TELL ME TO RELAX.
I MEAN, WHAT DOES
HE WANT TO KNOW?
ABOUT THE SEVEN S-14
FORMS I GOT TO FILL OUT
EVERY TIME I TURN AROUND?
ABOUT THE WHINING CUSTOMERS?
ABOUT THE INCOMPETENT
JACKASSES IN SHIPPING AND RECEIVING?
-YEAH.
YES, I THINK THAT'S EXACTLY
WHAT HE WANTS TO KNOW.
HE WANTS TO KNOW
MORE ABOUT YOU, JACK.
I DON'T KNOW WHY THAT'S SO
HARD FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND.
-UH...
HIYA, KEVIN.
-OH, NO, PAL.
YOU THINK IT'S
GONNA BE THAT EASY?
YOU HURT MY FEELINGS,
AND NOW YOU HAVE TO PAY
THE PIPER.
- UH...
SO, YOU WANT TO KNOW
WHAT I DO AT WORK, HUH?
-THAT'S IT, DON'T
LOOK HIM IN THE EYE.
DON'T LOOK HIM IN THE EYE.
DON'T LOOK HIM... OH,
GEEZ, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
YOU'RE KILLING ME HERE.
-IT'S, UH...
NO BIG DEAL, YOU KNOW?
MOSTLY PUSHING PAPERS
FROM OVER HERE TO OVER THERE.
IT'S... NOT SOME BIG,
GLAMOROUS THING.
-OKAY, FINE. LOOK AT HIM.
LOOK AT HIM ALL YOU
WANT. JUST NO WORDS, OKAY?
-WHAT DO THE PAPERS SAY?
-WHAT'S YOUR OFFICE LIKE?
-IT'S AN OFFICE.
FOUR WALLS, A CEILING,
A DOOR.
-DO YOU HAVE FILE CABINETS?
-YEAH, I GOT FILE CABINETS. WHY?
-I DON'T KNOW. I JUST WONDERED.
-LOOK, KEVIN, UM...
WHY DON'T YOU COME INTO
THE OFFICE WITH ME TOMORROW?
YOU SEE FOR YOURSELF.
I'LL WRITE YOU A NOTE, OKAY?
OKAY?
-OKAY.
-OKAY.
GOOD NIGHT.
YOU SET YOUR ALARM FOR 6:30.
I DON'T WANT TO
BE WAITING FOR YOU.
- YEARS AGO, THE BRITISH
GOVERNMENT BANNED
CIGARETTE ADVERTISING
ON COMMERCIAL TELEVISION.
WHEN COMMERCIAL TELEVISION
BEGAN IN BRITAIN IN 1955,
CIGARETTES WERE ADVERTISED,
BUT AS MORE AND MORE...
-KEVIN, YOU LOOK SO NICE!
KAREN, DOESN'T YOUR
BROTHER LOOK JUST SO NICE?
-HE LOOKS LIKE A LITTLE
RUNNING-DOG CAPITALIST PIG.
WHAT, UNCLE SID
FINALLY KICK THE BUCKET?
-WAYNE!
-WELL, WHAT'S WITH
SIR LANCELOT HERE?
-YOUR BROTHER HAD AN INTEREST
IN WHAT YOUR FATHER DOES,
SO HE'S GOING TO
THE OFFICE WITH HIM.
-YOU MEAN INSTEAD OF SCHOOL?
-YEP.
-WELL, I'VE ALWAYS BEEN
INTERESTED IN DAD'S WORK.
I WANT TO GO, TOO.
GIVE ME THAT TOAST, BUTTHEAD.
-WE BETTER GO.
TRAFFIC'S GONNA BE HELL.
-AND SO I WENT TO
WORK WITH MY FATHER.
I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY
WHAT I EXPECTED
TO LEARN ABOUT HIM THERE.
I GUESS I WAS
LOOKING FOR CLUES...
SOMETHING TO EXPLAIN
WHY HE WAS THE WAY HE WAS.
- ♪ AHH-AHH-AHH ♪
♪ AH-AHH ♪
-EVERYBODY, THIS
IS MY SON, KEVIN.
THIS IS PHYLLIS AND STAN
AND BETTY AND MARIAN.
-HI, THERE!
-YOU LOOK JUST
LIKE YOUR OLD MAN!
- OH, MY GOODNESS,
HE'S ADORABLE.
- YOU'RE SO CUTE!
-WHAT AN ANGEL.
LOOK AT THOSE CHEEKS!
-YOU GOT THE FEELING
THEY DIDN'T SEE A LOT OF
12-YEAR-OLDS AROUND HERE.
-AND WHAT ARE YOU GONNA
BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
-ARE YOU GOING TO COME
TO WORK WITH US AT NORCOM?
-OF COURSE, I KNEW
EXACTLY WHAT I WAS GONNA BE
WHEN I GREW UP...
EITHER A CENTER FIELDER
FOR THE SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS
OR A CREWMEMBER OF THE FIRST
MANNED SPACE FLIGHT TO MARS.
-ARE YOU GONNA
GO INTO DISTRIBUTION
LIKE YOUR FATHER, HMM?
-I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE.
-UH, COME ON, KEVIN.
I'LL SHOW YOU MY OFFICE.
EXCUSE ME.
-OHH!
-DAD'S OFFICE WASN'T IMPRESSIVE
THE WAY, SAY, THE
APOLLO 8 WAS IMPRESSIVE.
BUT IT DID HAVE A LOT OF
PRETTY COOL STUFF IN IT...
A BIG EXECUTIVE DESK,
A PHONE WITH LOTS OF
FLASHING LIGHTS AND BUTTONS,
AND A SWIVEL CHAIR.
-CAN I SIT IN YOUR CHAIR?
- SURE.
- THANKS.
-PHYLLIS, PULL THE QUARTERLY
DISTRIBUTION REPORTS...
OH, AND THE, UH,
WEST COAST SHIPPING
STATEMENTS FOR SEPTEMBER.
- Right.
- THANKS.
-HERE. NO, YOU CAN SIT HERE.
-NO, NO, NO. IT'S OKAY.
IT'S OKAY. SIT DOWN. SIT DOWN.
OKAY, FIRST THING YOU GOT
TO LEARN ABOUT AROUND HERE
IS THE S-14 FORM.
YOU GOT TO FILL ONE OF
THESE BABIES OUT EVERY TIME...
HANG ON.
YEAH, PHYLLIS?
- Jeff Meyers on one.
-OKAY.
HELLO, JEFF? HOW ARE YOU?
GOOD, GOOD. REALLY?
NO, LOOK, JEFF, I TOLD
HIM THE SAME THING,
BUT HE SAID THAT NuTech
WANTED THOSE 1018s.
WELL, JEFF, JEFF, THAT'S
NOT REALLY MY PROBLEM.
I MEAN, THEY SHOULD KNOW
THEIR OWN SYSTEM, RIGHT?
YEAH, OKAY.
O-OKAY, I'LL SEE YOU.
MM-HMM.
BE WITH YOU IN JUST
A MINUTE HERE, KEVIN.
-Peter Dante on two.
-YEAH, PHYLLIS, THANKS.
HELLO, PETE.
YEAH, JACK ARNOLD. HOW ARE YOU?
GOOD, GOOD.
LISTEN, PETE, I WAS JUST
TALKING TO JEFF MEYERS OVER AT...
I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW!
I'M CHECKING ON IT RIGHT NOW.
OH, WELL, HELL, PETE! THEY CAN
JUST GET SOMEONE ELSE, THEN.
-I HAD NO IDEA WHAT MY
FATHER WAS TALKING ABOUT,
BUT SUDDENLY I FELL IN LOVE
WITH THE RHYTHM
AND FLOW OF IT ALL.
THE WAY HE PUNCHED
THOSE PHONE BUTTONS,
FLIPPED THROUGH
PAPERS, GAVE ORDERS.
HE HAD POWER, AUTHORITY...
JUST LIKE AT HOME,
ONLY HERE IT WAS EVEN MORE
MYSTERIOUS AND IMPRESSIVE.
-HELLO, PETE, LISTEN, I'M
WORKING ON IT RIGHT NOW.
I'LL GET BACK TO YOU AS
SOON AS I CAN. THANKS.
LOOK, YOU CALL ALBUQUERQUE,
YOU TELL THEM RUSTY
ORDERED AN A.G. LANFORD,
AND YOU GET ME THE PURCHASE
ORDERS FROM LAST WEEK.
I FORGOT MY BRIEFCASE
IN THE CAR. KEVIN.
-I IMAGINED MYSELF
IN THAT ROLE...
ADMINISTERING
THINGS, GIVING ORDERS,
CHEWING PEOPLE OUT.
-WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?
-WELL, MR. ARNOLD, SIR,
I-IF... IF YOU'RE
NOT TOO BUSY, SIR,
I-I HAVE SOME PAPERS
FOR YOUR APPROVAL, SIR.
-SURE, I DO EVERYTHING
ELSE AROUND HERE, DON'T I?
-THANK YOU, SIR.
-GOOD MORNING, BUTTFACE!
-G-GOOD MORNING, SIR.
I SPENT ALL LAST NIGHT
WORKING ON THESE
FOR YOUR APPROVAL, SIR.
-THEY STINK!
DO 'EM OVER AGAIN.
-THANK YOU, SIR.
-YEAH, THIS WAS OKAY.
LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON, I GUESS.
-WISANSKI, BRING THE
PURCHASE ORDERS.
PHYLLIS, GET PETE BACK FOR ME.
- Okay.
-WHAT'S THIS?
- UH, WE NEED THESE
APPROVED BY FRIDAY.
- UH-HUH.
-AND WE'RE HAVING A
PROBLEM WITH STI IN PHOENIX.
THE OCTOBER SHIPMENT'S LATE.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
"LATE," HOW LATE,
AND WHEN'D YOU FIND THIS OUT?
-WELL, THEY CALLED YESTERDAY,
BUT I THOUGHT MAYBE IT
WOULD GET THERE BY TODAY.
IT WENT OUT ON THE 14th.
- YOU THOUGH MAYBE
IT WOULD GET THERE BY TODAY?
WHAT THE HELL?
-PHYLLIS, GET ME
SOUTHWEST EXPRESS, PLEASE.
-WELL, ACTUALLY, WE'RE
USING A NEW CARRIER.
MAYBE THEY, UM, YOU KNOW...
- YOU WHAT?
YOU WENT WITH A NEW CARRIER?
JESUS, WISANSKI, YOU
DIDN'T CLEAR THAT WITH ME.
IF THIS SCREWS UP
THE DAMN ACCOUNT,
WE'RE ALL GONNA BE...
- LOOK, I'M SORRY.
MAYBE I SHOULD GO DOWN THERE.
- LOOK, NO.
IT'S OKAY. I'LL HANDLE IT.
NEXT TIME, CHECK FIRST WITH ME.
TELL YOU WHAT, KEVIN...
IT IS TIME YOU LEARNED
ABOUT THE MOST IMPORTANT
PART OF THE WORKING DAY...
THE COFFEE BREAK.
COME ON.
-JACK, MR. KELLER'S ON LINE ONE.
TELL HIM I'M NOT HERE.
-OH, UH, B-BUT HE SOUNDS
LIKE IT'S IMPORTANT.
-COME ON.
-UH...
-SURE THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT?
-YEAH.
I LIKE IT BLACK.
-UH-HUH.
HUH. YOU LEARN
SOMETHING NEW EVERY DAY.
-DAD?
-HMM?
-WHEN DID YOU DECIDE YOU
WANTED TO BECOME A MANAGER
OF DISTRIBUTION AND
PRODUCT-SUPPORT SERVICES?
OH, SORRY.
IT'S JUST A FUNNY
SORT OF A THOUGHT...
REALLY WANTING TO BE THE MANAGER
OF DISTRIBUTION AND
PRODUCT-SUPPORT SERVICES.
I MEAN, IT'S A
GOOD JOB, BUT, UH...
IT'S NOT WHAT I THOUGHT
I'D BE DOING WITH MY LIFE.
-WHAT DID YOU WANT TO DO?
-WHAT, ARE YOU KIDDING?
PROFESSIONAL BASEBALL PLAYER.
-NO, REALLY.
-REALLY?
WELL, I DID HAVE A
FALLBACK POSITION.
-THIS JOB?
-NO. NOT THIS JOB.
I NEVER TOLD
ANYBODY THIS BEFORE...
NOT EVEN YOUR MOTHER...
BUT WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE,
I WANTED TO BE A
CAPTAIN OF A SHIP.
-THE CAPTAIN OF A SHIP?
-YEAH, YOU KNOW, ONE
OF THOSE BIG OCEAN LINERS
OR A FREIGHTER OR
AN OIL TANKER OR...
BE OUT THERE ON THE OCEAN
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT,
NAVIGATING BY THE STARS.
OF COURSE, THEY USE
INSTRUMENTS FOR ALL OF THAT NOW,
BUT I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
YEAH, I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE
THE GREATEST THING IN THE WORLD.
-HOW COME YOU DIDN'T DO IT?
-HOW COME?
WELL, YOU KNOW, ONE
THING LEADS TO ANOTHER.
WENT OFF TO COLLEGE,
MET YOUR MOM.
NEXT SUMMER, I GOT A JOB ON A
LOADING DOCK HERE AT NORCOM.
THE REST IS HISTORY.
-YOU WOULD HAVE MADE A
GREAT SHIP'S CAPTAIN, DAD.
-NAH, PROBABLY NOT.
PROBABLY GET SEASICK.
YOU KNOW, KEVIN,
YOU CAN'T DO EVERY SILLY
THING YOU WANT TO IN LIFE.
YOU HAVE TO MAKE YOUR CHOICES.
YOU HAVE TO TRY AND
BE HAPPY WITH THEM.
I THINK WE'VE DONE
PRETTY WELL. DON'T YOU?
-YEAH. I THINK WE'VE DONE GREAT.
-BUT AS WE WALKED BACK
TO MY FATHER'S OFFICE,
I SUDDENLY REALIZED SOMETHING
THAT MADE A LOT OF
THINGS MAKE SENSE.
MY DAD WAS TOO
GOOD FOR THIS PLACE.
SURE, IT WAS A GOOD JOB,
AND WE WERE ALL LUCKY
HE HAD IT AND ALL THAT,
BUT MY DAD HAD
SOMETHING FINER IN HIM
THAN S-14s AND
DISTRIBUTION REPORTS.
I'LL NEVER FORGET HOW
I FELT AT THAT MOMENT.
I FELT THAT MY FATHER
WAS A GREAT MAN.
-WHAT THE HELL IS THIS, ARNOLD?!
THIS IS INCOMPETENCE,
JUST PLAIN INCOMPETENCE!
-LOOK, AL,
WISANSKI'S A LITTLE...
-NO, NEVER MIND WISANSKI!
HE WORKS FOR YOU!
NOW, THIS IS THE THIRD MAJOR
SCREW-UP IN YOUR DEPARTMENT
IN THE LAST TWO MONTHS.
NOW, IF YOU CAN'T HIRE COMPETENT
PEOPLE AND SUPERVISE THEM,
WE CAN FIND SOMEBODY THAT CAN!
-IT'S BEING TAKEN CARE OF.
-WELL, IT SURE AS
HELL BETTER BE!
OH, AND ONE MORE THING.
THE NEXT TIME THAT I TRY
TO GET YOU ON THE PHONE,
YOU BETTER BE THERE
TO TAKE THE CALL!
NOW, DO YOU READ ME, ARNOLD?!
DO YOU READ ME?!
-YEAH, AL, I READ YOU.
-GOOD!
-THAT NIGHT, MY
FATHER STOOD THERE,
LOOKING UP AT THE SKY
THE WAY HE ALWAYS DID.
- ♪ ALL YOUR LIFE ♪
- BUT SUDDENLY, I REALIZED
I WASN'T AFRAID OF HIM IN
QUITE THE SAME WAY ANYMORE.
THE FUNNY THING IS, I FELT
LIKE I'D LOST SOMETHING.
-COME HERE, KEVIN.
THAT'S POLARIS, THE NORTH STAR.
THAT'S HOW THE SAILORS
USED TO FIND THEIR WAY HOME.
-♪ BLACKBIRD FLY ♪