The Wild Wild West (1965–1969): Season 3, Episode 16 - The Night of the Arrow - full transcript

Come on.

Finish him, finish
him, finish him!

Refreshments, Mr. West?

Thank you, General Baldwin.

Excellent fight, Hendricks.

You're a credit to company B.

Lieutenant Carter, a fine
string of fighters this month.

Why, thank you, sir. Baker
company's been practicing.

Well, meet James West.

Mr. West tells me that he spent
some time in the ring himself.

How do you do?



We find it to be a first-rate
conditioner for the men.

Well, if you'll excuse me,
there's another bout coming up.

I think the rest of you should
know why Mr. West is here.

It seems the
government is unhappy

with Indian relations
in the territory.

Mr. West and his
partner Mr. Gordon

are here to find out
what the problem is.

My own sentiments are no secret.

The only good Indians are those

in front of cigar
stores and dead ones.

I don't agree with you, general.

I think the American Indian

has made a tremendous
contribution to this country.

Hey, soldier.



Over here, soldier.

You want something, ma'am?

Oconee.

Yes, general?

I want you to meet
the Indian Department's

answer to the problem.

Oconee is liaison man
between us and the Indians.

How do you do, Oconee?

It seems Mr. West
has a touching faith

in your hordes of
murdering vermin.

I'm sure that
Oconee is aware that

we have a peace
treaty with the Indians,

and according to my sources,

they have no
intention of breaking it.

Mr. West, as long as our nation

has entrusted me
with the responsibility

of protecting our
gallant settlers,

my official policy
will always be

that the only time we
can lower our guard

is when there isn't one
single solitary redskin left alive.

Land sakes!

What a sea of long faces.

Mr. West.

Oh, it's so seldom we Army women

get a chance to talk to
someone from civilization.

Oh, Daddy, I call upon you
to yield this prisoner to me, sir.

I question your wisdom in
taking prisoners, but I yield.

Fie on you, Mr. West.
You've been hiding from me.

Oh, not really.

Your father wanted to
speak with me after dinner.

That's all Daddy the general
has on his mind; his work.

You know, sometimes I wish
he wasn't the most handsome

and heroic man in the country.

Ever since he killed
all those Indians,

people just worship him.

He never has time for fun.

Well, that's the price of fame.

"Main event of the evening,

"Private Stanislaus
Heron of company A

fighting Corporal Kanji
White of company B."

May the better man win.

Oh, Mr. West, if I see any
more bloodshed this evening,

I'll just die.

Couldn't we just step outside
for a breath of fresh air?

I'd like to, Aimee, but
this is the main event.

Mr. West, please.

All right.

Where are you going, Miss Aimee?

I'm going to get
air, lieutenant.

Well, you can't go now.

You're going to miss
one of my best fighters.

How many other fellas
like Lieutenant Carter

do you have
dangling on a string?

Now, that's a military
secret, Mr. West.

Make a wish.

After you.

That would be a
little ol' waste of time,

when everything I
could possibly wish for

is sitting right here...

Aimee.

You move in fast,
don't you, mister?

Well, we've got range laws here,

so do your grazing
someplace else.

Lieutenant, I think
we ought to talk...

Talk? I don't want to
talk. I just want to fix...

Put 'em up!

Some soldiers here!

Indians, everybody! Indians!

Jim...

they left one behind.

I didn't realize Aimee
was such a good shot.

You still don't know it.

She may have shot at
him. She didn't kill him.

Go on.

This one's been
dead over an hour.

Oconee! Oconee!

Where's that half-breed

who's supposed to keep
peace with the Indians?

Get over here.

A message for your chief.

You tell Strong Bear if
any of his brave move

one more inch in our direction,

I'll fertilize the
Western badlands

with their hides and
bones, you hear?

I hear, General.

But if I may make a
suggestion, you should take a...

You presume to make
suggestions to me?

Why, you...

General.

West, I wish you
were in my command.

Pity, isn't it, sir?

You put that knife away.

I was weaned from the white
man a long time ago, Mr. West.

I can do without your help...

and your orders.

All right, you...

Mr. President.

Don't shoot, boys. The
country's got problems,

but this isn't the
way to solve them.

Welcome aboard, sir.

Jim. Artemus. It's
good to see you both.

It's funny, I didn't notice
a single one of your aides

standing outside.

You didn't? No, sir.

It just so happens that I
managed to escape them.

I wanted to come by and
just have a little social visit,

pass the time of day,
and find out at firsthand

how the Mighty
Titan's making out.

Titan, sir?

Yes, Titus Ord Baldwin,

Major General of the
United States Calvary.

Still as impressive
as ever, I suppose.

Oh, very much so, sir, yes.

I'm not surprised,
that's one of the things

that the Mighty
Titan always did best.

That's what we used
to call him at West Point.

We were classmates.
Did you know that?

No, sir. No, sir.

He graduated with
honors, top athlete,

face and figure
like a Greek god,

most popular, most gifted,

voted the cadet
most likely to succeed.

Baldwin's got everything
he ever set his sights on,

except the Presidency
of the United States,

and he's not too far away
from getting that right now.

America, the land
of opportunity.

Sit down.

Thank you, sir.

Now, the only
flea on the hound...

is that General
Titus Ord Baldwin

is bound and determined
to sail his way into office

on a small ocean
of Indian blood.

We, uh, saw some
evidence of that, sir.

Very recently too.

Uh, if I may be
so bold as to ask

a question of you,
Mr. President...

Why don't I take away
his command, right?

Why don't I fire the man, hmm?

Right.

If I did that, I'd play
right into his hands.

Ever since he chewed up the
Cheyenne at Wolf Mountain,

he's been man of the hour

in certain steamier
political circles.

There's a lot of people
that think right now

he'd make a mighty
good president.

Oh... and if you fired
him, you'd be accused

of making it a totally
political move, of course.

That's right.

Good luck, sir.

Yes.

The government, the country,

would be torn apart
with controversy.

It would ensure his election,

and then he could proceed
to exterminate the Indian

without anyone lifting
a finger to stop him.

He's well on his
way to that now, sir.

An hour ago, five
braves attacked the fort.

A very strange
attack it was too, sir.

One of the braves was dead
before the raid even began.

And another one, a live one,

had a dolphin
tattooed on his wrist.

That's not an Indian
decoration, is it?

I wouldn't think so, sir.

What about the Indian
that was dead earlier?

How do you account for that?

Well, we've got a theory
about that, Mr. President.

We think that he was murdered

somewhere off the fort,

and the body was dragged
on and dumped there.

It's beginning to sound like

someone wants us to think
that Strong Bear is trying

to break his treaty
with the government.

That's our opinion, sir.

See, we know
that the dead Indian

was one of Strong Bear's braves,

but we're not at all sure about
the identity of the other four.

It may be a very fruitful
avenue of investigation, sir.

Strong Bear must keep the peace.

He must, regardless
of the provocation.

And after tonight, there'll
be plenty, if I know Baldwin.

West, Gordon,

I want you to deliver another
message to Strong Bear

explaining that to him in
the strongest possible terms.

Another message, sir?

We've already sent him three.

May I ask what his
response was to the others?

I don't know.

None of the carriers
ever returned.

Oh, Mr. West!

Mr. West! Yoo-hoo!

Honestly, did you ever see

a more perfect day for a picnic?

You mean, a picnic
for you and me?

I declare, what an
old tease you are.

By the way, do
you like rum cake?

Now, would it
matter if I didn't?

Oh, goodness, no.

We'd still have petit fours
and cucumber sandwiches

and watercress
and strawberry jam.

Uh, this young lady
annoying you, mister?

Oh, that's all right,

I don't want to press
charges, lieutenant, uh...

Greeley, fifth cavalry.
Just transferred in.

I declare, young gals today

are getting more headstrong
and impulsive every minute.

Now run along, gal.

Headstrong? Impulsive?

I'll have you know you're
sassin' Miss Aimee Baldwin.

Baldwin? Baldwin?

You related to Enoch
Baldwin, a lance corporal?

No, just the daughter
of the fort commander.

And when Daddy the General

hears the way you
just spoke to me,

he'll have you drawn
and quartered, Mr. Neeley.

Uh, Greeley. Greeley.

Well, now, I sure do
regret that, ma'am,

because that would
look just terrible

in my daddy's
newspaper, wouldn't it?

Newspaper.

You don't mean your
daddy's Horace Greeley?

Why, you guessed it.

Oh, well, Daddy just
loves the New York Herald.

Well, now, isn't
that a coincidence?

So does my daddy.

Only he happens to be the editor

of the Mobile Alabama,
Weekly Gazette.

Mr. West! Oh, Mr. West!

What do you want?

I want to see Strong Bear,

and I want you
to take me to him.

You're one of
General Baldwin's men.

Why don't you ask him?
What do you really want?

Peace.

Unless you take me
to see Strong Bear,

there's a very final war in
the offering for your people.

My people?

Who are my people, Mr. West?

I'm a half-breed, remember?

Because of that,
you're willing to let

the whole Sioux
people go to war?

Not only willing...

but eager.

Now find yourself another guide.

Aimee, stay still.

Perfectly still.

Still, Aimee. They
want you to move.

But...

So far they're missing
you on purpose.

Don't be afraid.

I'm not. I'm terrified.

Enough! Let 'em go!

West, that meeting you wanted...

I'll arrange for it.

Why?

Call it my admiration for
your style under pressure.

Then there's the matter
of your intervention

with the general
the other night,

a small favor I never asked for,

but nevertheless, I appreciate.

When do we leave?

We don't.

I'll arrange to have Strong Bear

at the Sulphur
Springs Cave at 8:00.

You be there too.

All right.

You hate me, don't you?

Naturally.

No, you're just
saying that to be nice.

Down deep, you really
do hate me, don't you?

If you say so.

What I mean is if
I... If I hadn't insisted

on trailing after
you the way I did,

well, we wouldn't have
had that horrible run-in

with those grizzly old redskins.

Aimee, if you hadn't
insisted on trailing after me,

I probably wouldn't
have gotten something

I wanted very much from Oconee.

Well, then you mean
you don't hate me?

I'll go so far as
to say I... like you.

As you were, sergeant.

Sheesh...

Pretty scruffy little
post you got here,

if you don't mind my saying so.

Yes, sir, I've seen them all,

and this is easily
the scruffiest.

You transferring in, lieutenant?

I'm afraid so.

If you'll be good enough
to sign this duty roster.

Why, of course,
sergeant. Thank you.

Thank you, sergeant.

The, uh, colonel in?

Uh, no, sir, but I expect
him back soon, though.

Fine, I'll just
wait in his office...

No, sir.

Excuse me, lieutenant,

but the colonel don't
like for no one to do that.

Besides, it's locked.

Oh, all right. Just
tell Uncle Ted that I...

I mean, tell the colonel

that I was in to see
him, would you?

Uh, excuse me, sir.

The colonel? He's your uncle?

My uncle?

Of course not, sergeant.

Whatever gave you that idea?

I can't imagine, lieutenant.

You just wait right
here, lieutenant.

Uh, I'll tell the
colonel you're here.

Fine. Fine. Thank you, sergeant.

What the devil do you mean

telling the sergeant
I'm your uncle?

My uncle?

Why, colonel, I
distinctly told the sergeant

you were not my uncle.

Lieutenant, you
told me that, but...

Goodness, what an
adventure this morning was.

I can't wait to tell Daddy

how you rescued me
from those, those savages.

I wish you wouldn't do that.

Oh, Mr. West, now,
modesty in its proper place,

but credit where credit
is due, I always say.

Aimee, the fuse has
been laid to an Indian war.

If you tell your father
what happened,

it could be the match
to ignite that fuse.

Can't we stop for
just a little minute?

All right. Just for a minute.

Well, fiddlesticks.

Now, you are a hero,
and I intend to see

that you get
decorated for bravery.

Aimee, don't you understand?

No, I guess you don't.

Well, all right.

It's too bad we won't be
seeing each other anymore.

Why, whatever do you mean?

Well, Aimee, figure
it out for yourself.

If I become a hero,

you'll have to tell your
father I saw Oconee,

and you know how
he feels about Oconee.

I'll be barred from the fort,

maybe even the territory.

Oh, well, that'd be terrible,

And how odiously likely too.

Well, then it will be
our own little secret,

forever and ever.

Good. Then it's settled.

On one condition.

That being?

Would it be all right

if I called you James
instead of Mr. West?

Aimee, we better
get out of here.

Oh, Daddy, wait till I tell you
what happened to me today.

Silence, Aimee.

Mr. West...

for the better
part of a morning,

I've been sending
out search parties

for my missing daughter,

prepared for and
fighting against

all the fears of a parent,

which I can see now
were completely justified.

With your permission, sir.

All right, colonel.

Place Mr. West under
maximum security arrest.

Aimee.

♪ Oh, a froggy did
a-courtin' Go a-who ♪

♪ A froggy did
A-courtin' go... ♪

Make sure that you got that
latched up real good, soldier.

Now, hold on there, soldier.

Let's... let's just
watch that, shall we?

I beg your pardon?

The recent
unpleasantness is over.

I am on your side now.

There's no call to
go looking for trouble.

Now look here...

You tripped me, sir.

I don't know how you can tell

in your present condition,
but if you say so, I apologize.

Now, hold on, hold on.

What do you mean,
my present condition?

Are you trying to insinuate
that I am drunk, sir?

I happen to be an officer
and a gentleman, sir.

I have never been sober in
my whole... In my whole life.

Now what do you say to that?

One word of advice,
go sleep it off.

Wait a minute.

Do you realize who
you're talking to?

Do you?

That is im-irrevelant
and immaterial.

I happen to be a lieutenant.

And the point is, you
can't tell me what to do.

You're right. It's your problem.

You handle it your own way.

Now hold on here.

I ain't through with you yet.

Lieutenant,

you're beginning
to try my patience.

If you don't let
go of that uniform,

you're under arrest.

Under ar... You
have no authority

to tell me to do anything!

Soldier, place this
officer under arrest,

charged with insubordination.

Wait a... I-I...

I tell you, sir,

you are making a terrible error.

I am innocent.

Just locking you
up till you cool off.

There's nothing
to cool off from.

I have never drawn a
more sober breath in my...

You, sir. You tell them.

Do I look drunk to you?

Come on, lieutenant,
get ahold of yourself.

I tell you, you're
making a terrible error!

That man was neither
an officer nor a gentleman!

This would never happen

if General Lee was
still in command!

Artie, what did you find
out about the raid last night?

It's all right.

We're the only two
guests in the hotel.

Oh, fine.

Well, it's just as we figured;

the Boston Tea
Party all over again,

only these men were soldiers.

Very convenient.

Yeah... they ducked
out of the back

of Colonel Rath's
office redskins,

did their dirty work,

came back in again
to Colonel Rath's office,

changed back to cavalry uniform.

Neat, but not gaudy.

Well, then it's what we
suspected... a staged raid

to make it look like Strong
Bear was breaking the treaty.

Right, so that the moral
of the story to draw is

the only good Indian
is a dead Indian.

Colonel Rath... what did
you find out about him?

He graduated from West Point,

number 92 in a class of 93.

Past 10 years, he's been
General Baldwin's aide.

Artie, do you think that
Baldwin is calling the shots?

I don't know anybody else
who has more to gain, do you?

I mean, if you want to be
president, what better way

than by kissing babies
and killing Indians?

Yeah.

Well, maybe I can
throw a little sand

in the general's
political career.

Oconee has arranged
a meeting, Artie,

with Strong Bear for me tonight

at Sulphur Springs Cave.

Oh, that's fine.

Jim?

Yeah?

Listen, whatever you do,

I don't want you to think about

those three other men
that General Grant sent

to contact Strong Bear.

No, I won't.

I mean, just because
he put them to the stake

doesn't necessarily mean
he's going to kill you too.

No, it doesn't.

You just forget them.

Yeah, I will.

Don't dwell on them.

No, Artie, I won't.

Just put those poor devils
right out of your mind.

Artie, all right!

By the way...

Artie, how do you
plan to escape?

Oh, the usual way...

Guile. Cunning.

Trickery.

Why, Miss Baldwin.

Why, Mr. Neeley.

Uh, Greeley.

I don't suppose you
know where James...

Mr. West... is.

Uh, well, as a matter of fact,

he's not seeing any
visitors today, you see,

so, uhh, why don't you
come back later, huh?

Much later.

Why, he's escaped!

Well, I will be
hornswoggled, so he has.

Oh, dear, that ruins everything.

It does?

Why, of course. I almost
had Daddy the general

talked into letting
Mr. West out.

Oh.

He didn't say where
he was going, did he?

Well, no. You see,
he left in such a hurry.

Oh, dear. I'll just have
to go out and find him

and bring him back here,

so that Daddy the general
can order his release.

Otherwise, he'll
be shot on sight.

Well, uh, Miss Baldwin,
if I may be so bold

as to make a suggestion...

Well, of course.

Why don't you just sort of
not mention anything at all

to Daddy the general
about Mr. West's escape?

Why, that would be
downright deceitful in a way.

Well, uh, well, yes,
it would in a way,

but on the other hand,

it might save Mr. West's life,

in a way.

Well, now, in that case,
a herd of wild butterflies

couldn't drag the
truth out of me.

Good...

Uh, now, may I suggest
to you that you leave

before the guard comes
back here and discovers that.

You know,

I've never kept a secret from
Daddy the general before.

No?

No. And it makes me
feel so... so wicked.

Bye.

Oh, there you are.

Say, how about some grub, eh?

What are you doing in here?

Well, I'm starving
is what I'm doing.

What do you say, soldier, eh?

How about trotting
out a little grub?

Where's Lieutenant Greeley?

I don't know, is he supposed
to bring my vittles down to me?

Look, there's supposed to
be a lieutenant in this cell.

There's nobody here but me,
and I'm sure hungry, soldier.

What do you say, huh?

How about trotting
out a little bit of grub?

I guess they must have
taken him someplace else.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute, what
are you doing there?

What are you doing?

No, sir! No, sir, you're
not opening this door

and taking me out.

You let go of that!

No, sir, I won't.

Let go of the door!

I don't know how
you got in here,

but you ain't getting no
handouts off of this fort,

now you get out here!

No, sir. I was brought
in here all right and legal.

I ain't gonna leave until
I get my vittles, so there.

Wait a minute, what
are you doing now?

You change your mind?

Wait a minute...

Now, where's that fellow who
brought me in here yesterday?

He ain't on duty now.

Well, you go ahead and
fetch him, he'll tell you.

I'm a dangerous criminal.

I'm a murderer.

I can't be out of jail.

You gotta keep me in
jail, 'cause I'll kill people!

I'm terribly dangerous
to leave out,

and you know that.

No, sir!

Back over there!

Let go of that bench!

You give me a roll!

Time to give up!

Get out of here!

Get out of here!

Greetings, West.

I have waited for you.

Greetings, Strong
Bear. Are you well?

I am old, but I am alive.

You want to talk with me?

I bring you greetings
from President Grant.

Strong Bear, he's concerned
over a rumor he heard

that you might break the treaty.

Is that true?

Such talk is a lie.

The president will be
delighted to hear that.

There was an attack on
the fort by Indians yesterday.

A soldier was killed.

The news of that came to me,

but they were not of my people.

That, too, will
delight the president.

Disappointed, West?

I promised you Strong Bear.

He killed our great
leader Strong Bear!

Aah!

Goodness gracious, James,

whatever are you
doing down there?

This little piggy went to market

and this little
piggy stayed home

and this little piggy
had roast beef

and this little piggy had...

What were you doing down there?

The last person to
ask me that question

didn't wait for an answer.

Who was that?

Sweet Aimee.

Is she involved in this?

Up to her sweet
neck. And there's more.

Strong bear is in there
with a knife in his back.

Oconee has convinced the Indians

that I murdered him.

Ahh, that's what it was.

I figured it would be
something like that.

He's called the conclave
of the Sioux war chiefs.

If he gets them riled up,
we're really in for a blood bath.

Where do you think
they're headed, Artie?

An educated guess, I say the
flats around Temple Canyon.

That's the traditional burial
grounds across the lake.

Come on.

Welcome to a funeral, Mr. West.

Strong Bear's.

And your own.

Actually, it'll save a lot
of messy explanations,

having you killed
on Indian land.

Now don't you agree?

That's a stroke of genius.

You know, I never realized

what an accomplished
rabble-rouser Oconee was

until I saw him work.

He's really rather
good, isn't he?

Oh, he's a master...

in, uhh... in his own way.

And I assume he was the one

that stuck the knife
in Strong Bear's back.

It couldn't have been Aimee.

So you know about Aimee.

But does "daddy the general"?

Does he realize that she's
his campaign manager?

Baldwin is a fool.

He thinks all it
takes to be president

is just to announce
that he wants the job.

What's his reaction gonna be

when he finds out what
tactics you employed

in his presidential campaign?

After he's the chief executive,
it will no longer matter.

Now, Mr. West, you
are beginning to bore me.

Greetings, brothers.

Listen to me.

That man's not chief!
He's an imposter!

Don't you realize it's a trick?

Oconee speaks
with tongue of snake.

I, Strong Bear, say to you,

throw down your weapons

and return to your tepees.

That man is an imposter!

Look.

Come back!

Come back!

Come back, it's a
white man's trick!

Mr. Gordon did a good
job impersonating the dead.

Now, what do you do, Mr. West?

The question is what
are you gonna do?

There aren't any
more bullets in that gun.

Let's not, Mr. Gordon.

They're doing so well
just the way they are,

don't you think?

Let her go, Artie.

There's a lot of room to
run, but no place to go.

We'll get her later.

So knowing how much store
the Indians set by the spirits,

I figured that if Strong
Bear had shown up,

Oconee had lost the game.

Why, I think that's
the bravest thing

I ever heard of;

just risking your
lives like that.

And all because of
that little snip of a girl

wanting her daddy
to be president.

And how come
that General Baldwin

didn't know what was going on?

Well, he was so preoccupied
with destroying the Indians,

he didn't have time to realize

he was being used
by other people.

Listen, enough
conversation about the past.

Let us simply discuss
the present. Ladies...

Artie?

Uh, ladies, would
you be good enough

to just step back here
for a moment, please?

We really won't be
very long. Thank you.

There we are.

Mr. President.

Artemus.

Ah, Jim. Sir.

Gentlemen, I waited until
you got back to Washington

to thank you personally
for what you've done.

You saved us from a
very dangerous situation.

Well, thank you very much, sir.

Sir, would you
care for some wine?

Why, thank you. I...

No, thank you.

Oh, but I do have
something very interesting

I'd like to read to you.

Jackson?

"The undersigned, having
been duly commissioned

"by the President
of the United States

"on the 2nd of September, 1846,

"hereby requests his
resignation from said commission

"be favorably considered
for the following reasons:

"A. The traitorous acts

"of a commissioned
officer in my command

"and the discredit to
which these acts bring upon

"the Army of the United States.

"B. My desire to
retire from the military

"to devote myself to my
family as a private citizen.

"Request release
from active duty

"effective the
6th of April, 1874.

"Respectfully signed,
Titus Ord Baldwin,

general of the 19th Calvary."

Needless to say, I
shall honor his request.

Of course, Mr. President.

Well, thanks again
for everything,

and good night.

Good night to
you, Mr. President.

Good night to you, too, ladies.

Was that really President Grant?

Oh, just imagine, the president
himself coming to your train.

Yeah, he's very good about that.

My goodness, he could
at least have given you

some kind of
reward for all you did.

Well, he said he'd
leave that up to you girls.

Well, now, I think
that's a splendid idea.