The Wild Wild West (1965–1969): Season 1, Episode 4 - The Night of Sudden Death - full transcript

I hope this won't take long,
Mr. West. I'm due at the spa.

No, sir, it won't.

Clerk? Clerk?

Ah, Mr. Redmond.

I trust you're
enjoying your stay?

Yes, thank you. The
spa is an absolute tonic.

My key, please. Number 12.

Thank you. I'll be
dining promptly at 8:30.

Ask the chef to prepare
a soybean casserole

with, uh, mulberry
root sauce and spinach.

Uncooked, of course.



Perhaps you'd care
to join me for dinner?

Well, it sounds delicious, sir.

But I'm afraid I won't
have enough time.

Oh?

Here we are.

You've come a long way just
to get those papers signed.

Yes, sir, I have. You
know the president,

he wants to move
on the appropriation.

Without your signature,
sir, he can't move.

Yes, of course, of course.

I tell you, Mr. West,

if I couldn't get away for
a few days now and then,

the routine of it all
would be the death of me.

There, that does it.



Thank you very much, sir.

You're welcome.

Good day, sir. Good day.

Now, don't forget
what I told you

about those liptus herbs.

Twice a day, raw.

Raw, yes, sir.

It'll keep you in
tiptop condition.

I'm the living proof.

Yes, sir, you are.

Good day again, sir.

Good day.

Where do you think you're going?

In there.

Why?

Well, to see
Mr. Redmond, that's why.

There's no Redmond in
there. That's our mother's room.

You wouldn't want to
disturb her, would you?

You must be mistaken, gentlemen.

My associate's in there.

Ooh! Who are you?

What are you doing in my room?

What do you want?

What did you burst
into my room for?

I thought I had
privacy in this hotel.

What kind of a hotel is this?

Clerk?

Clerk?

Clerk?

You don't have to assault
me to get my attention.

Now, may I help you?

I'm... I'm sorry.

Uh, Mr. Redmond, A.T.
Redmond's staying in your hotel.

Redmond?

No, there's no one by
that name in the hotel.

I just left him in room
12 about 10 minutes ago.

Oh, no, you're mistaken, sir.

The party in room 12
is a Mrs. Merriweather.

She's been with us now
for the past six months.

If you care to check
with her two sons...

No, I, uh... I already have.

Where's the other clerk?

The other?

There's no other, sir.

Thank you very much.

Quite welcome, sir.

Well, what did he say to
you after that, Chester?

He said, "I'm gonna buy
two tickets to Denver."

Uh-huh. So
naturally, you said...?

I said, "If she was my wife,

"I'd buy one ticket to Denver

and make sure I
missed the train."

Hey, Artie, it's marvelous.

If the United States
ever goes out of business,

you're gonna have
something to fall back on.

Listen, I get more to
fall back on every day.

Uh, did you finally track
down those eyeglasses?

I certainly did.

They belong to Mr. Hiram Gilbert

of 418 High Street, room 7.

I'm sure he'll be very
grateful when I return them.

While you do that,

why don't I drop around at the
hotel where he used to work?

Why don't you? They have
room clerks that disappear,

and rooms that change
occupants all by themselves.

Of course,

you know it may be quite
difficult to get in there.

Difficult for you, easy for me.

Good night, Chet.

Good night, Artie.

Heh-heh-heh-heh.

Oh, Artie.

I'm told you specialize
in gout cases.

I understand you're
considered quite famous for it.

A reputation we
hope to maintain, uh...

Doyle, Doyle.

Colonel Doyle, retired.

Formerly of Her
Majesty's cavalry.

We are honored to have

such a distinguished
military man with us, colonel.

Well, thank you.
Thank you so much.

Oh, yes. Register. Here you are.

We mustn't forget that, must we?

Of course, yes, yes.

There we are.

Our head masseur,
Colonel Doyle. Fingers.

Just a nickname,
colonel. Just a nickname.

On account of I work
miracles with these.

You've got a problem, colonel?

Yes, I'm afraid I do.

Well, don't worry
anymore about it.

We'll have you up and
around, kicking your heels.

You'll find Fingers of
enormous help to you.

Oh, yes, I'm

quite certain he will.

You'll follow me, colonel?

Oh, do we start? Of course.

Hello?

Hey, boy.

I want you do me a favor, son.

I want you to get the sheriff,

tell him to come
here right away.

Sure. Something wrong, mister?

No, there's nothing wrong.
Just been a little accident.

Thank you, son.

Help!

Easy.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

What happened, ma'am?

I don't know. He
just got out of control.

I'm afraid I'm not a
very good horsewoman.

You saved my life, Mr...

James West, ma'am.

Lavinia Sedgewick.

I don't know how
I'll ever repay you.

I'll get a doctor. No, no.

I'm all right. It's
just a little dizziness.

Where do you live?

Oh, no, I couldn't
impose on you any further.

You've been too kind.

You're not in any
condition to drive.

I'm taking you home.

Thank you very much.

Redmond? Redmond?

Yeah, I remember him.

Only gave him one
rubdown, though.

Had to take him away.
Happens sometimes.

Had to take him away?

Yeah, he had some
kind of disease.

Oh.

Nothing contagious, I hope?

No, no, heh-heh.

It was some kind
of blood disorder.

Had a funny-sounding name,

something like, uh,
Lovelock's Temper.

Oh, you mean Lubbock's
Distemper, don't you?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's... That's the ticket.

When they found out,
they took him away.

How odd. I wonder why.

Well, they give them some
special type of treatment

in another part of the spa.

They give them?

Are there many cases
of Lubbock's Distemper?

No, no, I think we've had
maybe two in the last few months.

Now, look, colonel. Yes.

I want you to lie still,
let this oil soak in, huh?

I'm gonna put the steam on.

And in an hour,
you'll feel brand-new.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

I'm going to sue
this establishment

for every penny it's got.

Do you understand
me? Every penny!

What happened, Colonel Doyle?

What happened?

Some blasted dunderhead

tried to parboil me
into an early grave.

That's what happened.

Out of my way,
you blithering idiot.

This is Sedgewick House.

Built over 30 years ago.

And it started decaying

from the first day
it was completed.

I would like you to join us for
dinner this evening, Mr. West.

I know my family would
want to thank you in person.

Oh, well, thank
you very much, but...

As a matter of fact,

I'd be delighted to
have dinner with you.

Wonderful.

We'll see you at 8:00, Mr. West.

My pleasure.

It's a rare blood disorder, Jim,

known as Lubbock's Distemper.

Named after the
renowned Swedish doctor

who isolated the disease
about 25 years ago.

And Redmond has it? Definitely.

I'm convinced there's
some connection

between the disease
and his disappearance.

Why, Artie?

When the hotel discovered
what it was he was suffering from,

they prescribed some
kind of special therapy.

And he wasn't the only one.

There were others?

Oh, two for sure.

Each of them also
received special therapy.

Each of them also disappeared.

And I bet they
disappeared out of room 12.

I tell you, Jim, I don't know
what's going on in that hotel,

but we better
find out real quick.

Artie, if we tore the
whole hotel apart,

we might endanger
Redmond's life, if he's still alive.

Are you sure that that design
that Gilbert traced in blood

is the Sedgewick shield?

Definitely sure.

What have you found
out about the family?

Oh, not very much, I'm afraid.

It seems that most of them

were quite brilliant when
they were very young.

Then around the time
they reach middle age,

something odd happens.

Some of them just fizzle out.

Some of them disappear.

And not even
mentioned again later on.

Maybe I'll be able to
find out tonight at dinner.

Yeah, good luck.

Thank you, Artie. See you later.

Good night, Jim.

My name is James West.
I've been invited for dinner.

I said that my name...

You're mistaken.

May I see Miss Lavinia
Sedgewick, please?

Miss Sedgewick has
retired for the evening

and doesn't wish
to be disturbed.

Now go.

Who is it, Jessica?

Just a tradesman, Miss Lavinia.

Don't be ridiculous, Jessica.

Let Mr. West in.

Thank you very much.

Jessica doesn't like visitors.

Yes, I got that impression.

It's hopeless. What is?

Trying to bring
life into this house.

It's as if the whole place

resisted being
looked at carefully.

Well, why don't I help you?

Nice-looking young man.

That's my brother,

my late brother,

Philip Sedgewick.

He passed away a few months ago.

He was a scientist,

a biochemist to be exact.

He was a very gifted young man

with a brilliant
future ahead of him.

I'm sorry.

How did he die?

He... JESSICA: Miss Lavinia?

You're wanted.

Will you excuse me?

Won't you wait in the study?

Thank you.

Now, now, Mr. Sedgewick.

You know what happens
when you exert yourself.

You only make
your condition worse.

You're not going to exert
yourself anymore this evening,

are you?

Grandfather, are you all right?

There's no need
for alarm, Lavinia.

He was only trying to
communicate with this gentleman.

This is Mr. West.

Dr. Maitland, my
grandfather's physician.

How do you do, doctor?

So you're the gallant rescuer
of fair damsels in distress?

Grandfather,

this is Mr. James
West, a friend.

Forgive him, he's very old.

Oh, I understand.

I don't know which
is more terrible:

dying very young
or growing very old.

I told you,

you are never to leave
Mr. Sedgewick alone, Felix.

Brandy, Mr. West?

Please.

Lavinia?

No, thank you.

Don't you think
you shouldn't...?

What, Lavinia?

It's for purely
medicinal purposes.

I prescribed it for myself.

When you consider the
ghosts that surround us,

it's the only cure
for living here.

Or don't you know the
Sedgewick history, Mr. West?

No, doctor, I
don't believe I do.

The, uh, line began in England

with the first Earl of Sedgewick

in the middle of
the 17th century.

Legend has it that he
was burned at the stake

for witchcraft.

His sister, Lucretia Sedgewick.

A beautiful woman,
except for her soul.

She was a sadist.

She become incurably insane

and died raving in an asylum.

Next.

Next came her son,

Tristan.

An innocent-looking lad

whose only crime
was to be a Satanist,

a devil worshipper.

He died mysteriously.

Supposedly a stake was
driven through his chest.

The line then passed
to a distant cousin

who had settled in
the colony of Virginia.

He hoped to rectify

his predecessors'
insanity and evil,

so he designed a new crest.

Three swords,

or stakes if you will,

driven into a human heart.

A symbol of his three
nefarious ancestors.

He hoped it would
end the family curse.

Tell him about

the real Sedgewick curse.

Tell him.

Felix!

No, no. He must know.

He must know about the
Sedgewick ephemeroptera.

No, tell him.

He must know. He must know.

If you will excuse me,

it's time for
Mr. Sedgewick's medicine.

Poor grandfather.

Sometimes he goes for days
without saying a single word.

And then, suddenly,

he comes out with strange, wild,

unexplainable things.

What did he mean by,
uh, "ephemeroptera"?

That was it, wasn't it?

I don't know. He
just blurts things out.

I have a confession to
make to you, Mr. West.

I didn't just invite
you here for dinner

or to meet my grandfather.

It's...

It's because I felt so alone.

I just wanted to
see a friendly face.

I wanted to talk to
someone who... Who was...

Hey, listening is an
old specialty of mine.

It's going to be
a terrible storm.

Perhaps it would be best
if you stayed the night.

If he leaves now, he
can make it back to town.

Nonsense.

He would miss dinner.

Show Mr. West to
his room, Jessica.

I should get rid
of her, I suppose.

But it would be
on my conscience.

Her mother was our
housekeeper until she died.

Jessica, Philip, and
I were playmates.

If I dismissed her,

she would have nowhere to go.

Come, I will show
you to your room.

You can freshen
up before dinner.

Vite!

Can I help you, sir?

Yes, you may help me to my room.

And quickly, please,
uh? I'm very fatigued.

Do you have reservations, sir?

Certainement.

Would Henri Picheaux ever travel
anywhere without one? Of course.

I'm sorry, sir, but we don't
seem to have gotten them.

Impossible.

Someone at your hotel here
has made a terrible mistake,

possibly you.

However, I'm so fatigued
that I will overlook it.

Now, please, get me to
my room and quickly, huh?

But... Oh, one more thing,

do you have some form of
refrigeration here at the hotel?

Yes, of course.

Then be good enough to
keep that in there for me.

It is for my condition.

Are you ill, sir?

Oui, a family malaise.

Lubbock's Distemper.

I trust you will be
discreet about it.

No one will ever find out, sir.

I am mostly assured.

If you'll just sign
the registry, sir.

Of course.

Front.

Room number 12.

Merci.

It's all right.

I'm sorry.

It's all right.

Thank you.

Here you are.

Dinner will be
ready in 15 minutes.

I think some explanations
are in order. Don't you?

I came to warn you.

About what?

The gaslights,

the secret passageways,
the moaning?

This is a very old house.

The wind plays strange tricks.

Mr. West, we're
ready for dinner.

I'll be right there, thank you.

Listen to me.

If you stay here, you will die.

Believe me, you
must leave this house.

What is that? I ordered nothing.

It's our own special
mineral water, sir.

You will not put it on the bill.

I did not order
any mineral water.

Compliments of the hotel, sir.

Oh, compliment.

Ah. Zut alors. Merci, merci.

Th... Thank you.

To your health, sir.

Merci. Merci.

Au revoir.

Take it away, Felix.

I find it impossible
to see Mr. West.

Nice thing about a mute,
he can never answer back.

Brandy, Mr. West?

No, thank you.

You look disapproving, Lavinia.

You shouldn't.

It makes you look,
somehow older.

And age will come soon
enough to destroy that pretty face.

What a pity it is that beautiful
things cannot remain beautiful.

Must you always be so morbid?

Are you familiar with the
Galapagos turtle, Mr. West?

Why, yes, it lives
for hundreds of years.

And it is that and only that

which, despite his ugliness,
makes him an enviable beast.

Please, Dr. Maitland,

I'm sure Mr. West isn't
interested in turtles.

But we're not talking
about turtles, my dear.

We're talking about longevity.

The Galapagos turtle

on the one end of the scale,

and a creature so fragile

that it lives but a few
tragic hours on the other.

I refer, of course,
to the mayfly.

The sole member of its
order, known in Latin as...

Ephemeroptera!

Ephemeroptera!

Oh, I'm terribly sorry.

- I - think it's about time

Mr. Sedgewick
retired for the night.

Felix.

Good night, Mr. West.

Good night.

Lavinia.

I'm afraid Dr. Maitland
put my nerves on edge

more than usual tonight.

Miss Sedgewick, I think
there are some things

we should talk about.

Can't it wait till tomorrow?

Please excuse me. It's
been a very tiring day.

Good night.

Good night.

He's got to be in
here somewhere.

♪ I came from Alabama ♪

♪ With my banjo on my knee ♪

♪ I've gone to Louisiana... ♪

Redmond?

Redmond, what happened?

You must talk to them.

I told them, "Twice a day, raw.

"twice a day.

"Liptus herbs,

you have to have
them twice a day."

Where do you want
him, Dr. Maitland?

In the laboratory.

Are you all right?

Yeah, I'm all right.

What are you doing here?

Dr. Maitland found out
that I was trying to warn you.

He locked me in here.

What's going on in this house?

Don't you think you've
been silent too long?

What do you know of
time or silence, Mr. West?

You have been
here for one night.

I have grown up in this house.

It has been my home.
The people in it my family.

I was not always
as you see me now.

There were kinder
and happier times.

Well, that's quite a
retirement plan they have.

Or does this only happen
when you know too much?

It is not the Sedgewicks
who have done this.

It is Maitland.

He has brought the
evil upon this house.

What kind of evil?

His experiments.

He has found a drug that...

Speeds up the aging process?

He is not trying to create age.

Trying to create eternal youth.

Bull's-eye, Mr. West.

How does Lubbock's Distemper
fit into your fountain of youth?

Because that disease
causes a blood condition

identical to ephemeroptera.

Only such uniquely
affected individuals

may serve as guinea pigs.

And you used the
spa to attract them?

Room number 12.

At first, we experimented
only on small animals.

We were quite successful.

But you didn't stop there.

Unfortunately, our
experiments with people

turned out less than expected.

How did you hope to
prevent the aging process?

By changing the
metabolic balance.

When the drug is injected
into the bloodstream,

it works very quickly.

Within 15 minutes,

it should be working
directly on the heart,

slowing down the
entire aging process.

Slowing it to where one week

is like a day in the life
of an ordinary person.

Except one hour is like a year.

The drug is a mixture
of several chemicals.

And I have not yet found
the proper combinations.

Something goes wrong.

That's why you've
seen the aging.

Within two hours, a
young man is middle-aged.

You look quite shocked,

Mr. West.

What about the people you use?

I have always maintained

that the end
justifies the means.

Time's up, Mr. West.

Your time.

Pleasant dreams, Mr. West.

Pleasant dreams.

Find yourself a safe place.

Dr. Maitland, may I
see you for a moment?

It's urgent, Dr. Maitland.

I know how they got
Redmond out of the hotel.

Have you seen him?

I've seen him.

He's older, Artie.

He looks over 100 years old.

Boy, that Dr. Maitland
sounds like a prince of a fellow.

The doctor is looking for a
fountain of youth in a drug.

That's why the hypodermic.

You mean, he's injected you?

Here we go, Artie!

And I did so want the
evening to be pleasant.

Will you be so kind

as to raise your
hands over your head?

So you're the reason for
Maitland's experiments?

Yes.

The Sedgewick family has
the inheritance of the mayfly.

We're very fragile.

We're old and useless before 40.

And death follows shortly after.

You're not all dead before 40.

Your grandfather.

Your grandfather is
your brother, Philip.

My younger brother.

He's a victim of his
own experiments.

And now that you
know everything,

it's time you were leaving us.

Lavinia!

Lavinia!

Look, look.

Lavinia, look.

Has he had the drug?

More than 15 minutes ago.

Then... Yes.

Yes, we've done it.

There are no signs of
aging. We've done it!

What are you doing, Lavinia?

There's just enough
left for one injection.

No, I think it would
be best to wait.

Why? MAITLAND:
To run more tests,

to be sure! It will only
take a few days. Lavinia!

But I'll be a few
days older by then.

No!

No, don't!

I was never injected
with that drug.

I substituted water for it.

No!

Release him.

Oh, and Felix,

hand Mr. West the gun.

Oh, I-I will be able

to keep my notes,

won't I, Mr. West?

What will become of Lavinia?

Well, in her case, it'll
be a very short sentence.

Oh. Perhaps...

Perhaps someone could
stay and look after her,

huh?

She will be well
taken care of, doctor.

A-Artie, that was...

Yeah, greetings
from the president.

He wants us to bring
over some papers

to Henry P. Sidwell
for his signature.

Sidwell is staying at
a hotel for a few days.

We're invited to spend
part of our vacation there.

It's got everything, they claim.

You know, the usual health spa,

mineral baths, waters,
et cetera. Sound familiar?

Yeah, it's familiar. But I'm
not gonna let it spoil my lunch.

Incidentally...

I thought I'd, uh,

do a little
experimenting with lunch.

Yeah, Artie, but what is that?

That's health food, all of it.

I thought we would start
off with a little carrot juice,

and then some raw spinach
with chopped soybeans.

And that isn't all.

Wait until he tells you about
the pumpkin seed appetizer.

It's easy for me.
It's difficult for him.