The Wild Wild West (1965–1969): Season 1, Episode 16 - The Night of the Steel Assassin - full transcript

Professor, don't!

Open up!

Someone has started a
campaign to sow fear and suspicion

among the people of
this country and of Mexico.

Jim, Ambassador Ramirez
is gonna be in Nogales

day after tomorrow.

Now, I want you or Frank...

Both of you, to be
there to meet him.

Now, the colonel
here will be there too.

I want you to give him all
the information that we've got.

I want you to assure him
of our complete cooperation



with the Mexican government

in combating
this terrible threat.

There we are.

Mayor Sneed.

Your honor!

Mayor Sneed.

What?

You may stop now.

Oh.

About those glasses
I promised you...

Oh, yes, my free glasses.

Oh, not now.

But I think you will
find an occasion

to use them.



I'm going to kill you, Mr. West.

Now, Frank...

Frank, put that gun down.

Who is Frank?

Why do you call me that?

My name is Sneed.

Raven, Mr. West,
is an organization

composed of
scientists like myself,

men possessed of learning
and talent undreamed of by...

lesser mortals, shall we say?

Men dedicated to
freeing the world

from the ignorant masses

and their vain and
small-minded leaders.

You've been brought
here for one purpose:

to carry a message
to President Grant.

You will tell President Grant

there is no defense
against Raven.

Tell him we demand
unconditional surrender.

They must have.

They must have conditioned me

just like they did you

and all the others.

I'm a walking time bomb.

These piñatas must have worked

by some kind of a
preset trigger mechanism.

We'll never know for sure.

Why don't you go see
Ramirez in Nogales?

Raven's headquarters are
somewhere here in San Pablo

or close by, and
I'm gonna find it.

Frank, you've got a
long ride ahead of you.

You don't want to keep
the ambassador waiting.

Why don't you get it on?

Okay, Jim. Good luck.

Good luck to you, Frank.

Hey, Frank.

Yeah?

Why don't you keep
Ramirez with you

until I get there?

Sure.

I'm pleased to announce

that I've heard from
our colleague in Nogales

within the hour.

Well, well. Well,
what does he say?

That Ambassador Ramirez
has arrived in that city,

and that all is proceeding
according to plan.

I can say with
complete confidence

that due to our
operative in that city,

by this time tomorrow night

the Republic of Mexico

will be ripe for the plucking.

Señores.

Your attention, please, señores.

Ambassador Ramirez
will join us here in the lobby

in a few moments.

Your Excellency,
may I remind you

your appearance is
scheduled in 15 minutes.

What about Señor West?

It looks as if I was
wrong, Your Excellency.

Apparently, he isn't
coming to Nogales after all.

Señor West.

Buenos días.

Buenos días. I have to
see Ramirez immediately.

He will be down momentarily.

Señor Harper has told us about
your experiences in San Pablo.

Do you have any more
information about Raven?

Well, I've located
their headquarters.

Really?

They're in an
underground grotto.

The entrance is through
a blacksmith's shop.

Here's His Excellency now.

You left this in
San Pablo, señor.

Stop him! Stop that man!

So...

you were right, Señor Harper.

I was to be Raven's next victim.

When Jim insisted
on my keeping you

here in Nogales
until he arrived,

I felt sure that you were
the target for the time bomb

that Raven had made of him.

If the foremost Secret Service
agent of the United States

had murdered the
ambassador of Mexico,

it could have meant war
between our countries.

Your Excellency, you
understand how essential it is

that, uh, we allow
Raven to believe

his plot has succeeded.

Otherwise, Jim's life
would be in great danger.

I understand, Señor Harper,

but I cannot let you issue
any false communiqués.

Oh, that won't be
necessary, Your Excellency.

All I ask is that you remain
out of sight for 48 hours,

to give me time to
find Jim and Raven.

Forty-eight hours...

Very well, señor.

But I cannot give you
any longer than that.

Congratulations, Mr. West.

Hello.

This is the Raven's
headquarters.

That's right, my love.

How did I get here?

You don't remember?

It was part of our
instructions to you.

Return to us after completing
your assignment in Nogales.

What assignment?

It went beautifully, darling.

Just exactly as we planned.

We even had a photographer
there to take pictures.

Is this why I was conditioned?

To kill Ramirez?

Yes, and it was my idea.

Congratulations.

You're being very
foolish, darling.

I'm sorry if I have an aversion

to killing ambassadors.

Raven will cure
you of that in time.

You don't have that much time.

I know what you're thinking.

You're thinking of
Colonel Chaveros,

and you're remembering
how you told him

where our headquarters are.

You're certain he's told
Frank Harper by now,

and soon the authorities will
come swooping down upon us.

Is that right?

I'm sorry to disappoint you.

That just isn't going to happen.

You're sure?

We are positive, señor.

Colonel Chaveros is
one of our most trusted

and efficient secret agents.

This is so unnecessary.

You must realize that
you're a wanted man now,

a hunted killer.

You have no friends
on the outside,

including Frank Harper.

I don't believe you.

Those photographs were fakes.

You're trying to trick me.

I assure you they're genuine.

They're genuine.

I have no choice
but to join Raven.

That is, if your
friends will accept me.

Oh, they will, they will.

You don't have to
worry about that.

I will make them accept you.

You will never
regret this, darling.

Never, never. I promise you.

And soon, very soon,

Raven will rule the world,

and you and I will help it.

We will be the most
powerful man and woman

in the history of the world.

Does that excite you, darling?

No, no. Not Samuel Toombs.

Thaddeus Toombs. Thaddeus.

Philip. Thaddeus.

Thank you.

"Thaddeus Toombs.
Born in Canton, Ohio.

"Graduated bachelor of
science from Allegheny Tech.

"M.S. from, uh,
Simmons Institute.

Continued his graduate studies
at the University of Munich."

Simmons Institute.

What about that Munich file?

Coming, sir.

Just give me a rundown on it.

"Toombs, Thaddeus.

"Graduate student,
apprentice instructor,

"laboratory
assistant in chemistry

to Professor Kralle."

Kralle.

Kralle. Kralle.

Kralle. Kralle. Here it is.

Wolfgang Kralle.
Munich University.

Wolfgang Kralle.

So Toombs studied under
the notorious Professor Kralle.

Who is he, Frank?

He was well on his way

to being one of the
greatest chemists of all time.

The man is a genius.

But he became
obsessed with the idea

of developing a drug

that would make it possible
to precondition human behavior

and alter the
personality of the person

who was injected with the drug.

Trouble was, he wasn't satisfied
with experimenting on animals.

He wanted to try it
out on human beings.

Well, what happened
in his experiment?

He gave it to nine
people, and all nine died.

And that's not very good odds.

He's at present
serving a life term

in the Hofgarten
Penitentiary in East Prussia.

Hm.

Wouldn't it be
interesting if he weren't?

Mmm. Isn't it
beautiful, my darling?

Some day it'll all be ours.

Ours to rule, you and I.

Like Maximilian and Carlota.

But with one difference.

We shall never be overthrown.

What about the others?

Tycho will give me
Mexico if I ask for it.

Who's Tycho?

Tycho is our maestro.

Our patron.

Our teacher.

Well, what about
Toombs and Chaveros?

Ah, they're nothing
compared to Tycho.

Mental pygmies.

Tycho is the genius of the ages.

It is from him that
all knowledge flows.

Tycho inspires and leads.

Tycho is Raven.

When am I gonna get to meet him?

Oh, I don't know.

Someday when you prove yourself

in his eyes.

Didn't I prove myself
when I killed Ramirez?

Oh, that means nothing to Tycho.

You were conditioned to do that.

Besides, there's no
need for you to see Tycho.

Anything you want, just ask me.

Anything.

Slow down! Ho!

If you please.

Hey, you.

I want you to tell
Thaddeus Toombs

that I have arrived.

Who, sir?

Thaddeus Toombs, that's who.

Thaddeus Toombs.

Oh, I am afraid, sir, you
have made a mistake.

There is no one in
San Pablo by that name.

Of course there is
someone here by that name.

There is Thaddeus Toombs.

Now go tell him

that Professor Wolfgang
Kralle has arrived.

Here, take my bag to the hotel.

Don't touch that one!

Dummkopf!

No one touches
that satchel but me.

And you know why?

Because in that
satchel are secrets,

secrets from the brain
of Wolfgang Kralle.

The secret of how to
blow up this stupid world.

Kaboom.

And the secret

of how to shrink that
silly head of yours

till it is no bigger
than a green pea.

Now go tell Thaddeus Toombs

that I will wait for him in
the nearest rathskeller.

Prost!

Herr, beer.

Please, I have no
time for that now.

Professor Kralle?

And what is that to you?

I am Dr. Horatio Occularis.

Doctor? Phooey!

Go away.

I have no use for pill pushers.

I heard you asking
about Thaddeus Toombs.

I could help you find him,

if you tell me why
you want to see him.

That is for me to know

and you to find out, Dr. Nosy.

Where's my beer?

Well?

The Laszlo spectrum.

What?

Mention that to Thaddeus Toombs

and see what he has to say.

The Laszlo... Shh!

The Laszlo spectrum?

Ja, ja, ja. The Laszlo spectrum.

Now go away.

The Laszlo spectrum?

Occularis, are you
sure that's what he said?

Yes, sir.

Who is Wolfgang Kralle?

I studied under him at
the University of Munich.

He's a brilliant chemist.

Eccentric, but a genius.

I lost track of him after
I came to this country,

but I heard rumors that he
had difficulty with the authorities

and been dismissed
from the university.

But I could never confirm them.

And the Laszlo spectrum?

His most exciting experiment.

Bold, daring, imaginative.

As a young lab assistant,
I worked with him on it.

Kralle was attempting to
synthesize a spectrum of drugs

which he believed would
have a hypnotic effect

when injected into a
person's bloodstream.

Did it work?

No, not when I left Munich

and came to this country,

but Kralle vowed to
keep experimenting

until he perfected it.

Perhaps that's why he's here.

Perhaps he has perfected it.

It must be.

It has to be.

Laurette, my dear,

do you realize that a few cc's

of the Laszlo spectrum

could accomplish
what we now must do

with the clumsy
procedure of eye drops,

kinetoscopes and eyeglasses?

Occularis,

I want you to arrange
for Professor Kralle

to be brought here
as quickly as possible.

Uh, within the security
rules, of course.

Yes, sir.

Laurette, my dear,

this is a historic
day for Raven.

Señor Chaveros?

The new man, West,
is asking to see you.

Me?

He's insistent about it.

What does he want?

He refuses to say.

Very well.

Thanks for coming, Chaveros.

Greetings, Mr. West.

I've been expecting you.

You're Tycho.

You may call me that.

That's close enough,
Mr. West. Please sit down.

You've been expecting me?

Yes, Mr. West.

You see, I've been following
your career for some time.

You're a man of
great determination

and amazing resourcefulness.

From the moment
you told Laurette

you wanted to meet me,

I knew you'd find
a way to do so.

Oh, I do hope
you didn't fracture

poor Chaveros' jaw.

How did you know about that?

Quite simple.

In addition to the air duct,

there's a small
vent near the ceiling

in your quarters.

Perhaps you noticed it.

I noticed it.

Now, it's a listening
port, Mr. West.

Many of them
strategically placed

throughout our headquarters,

permitting me to
constantly keep in touch

with what's going on.

Hmm.

Now, may I congratulate
you on your decision

to join the ranks of Raven?

I didn't have
much choice, did I?

Nevertheless you decided wisely,

and if you still have any
lingering doubt about that...

perhaps this will
convince you, Mr. West.

Watch, Mr. West.

Watch closely.

I'm sure the symbolism

isn't lost on you, Mr. West.

Within the month,

Raven will reduce the
United States to chaos.

Its cities will be
consumed by flame.

Armageddon,
Mr. West. Armageddon.

And it'll not be the phoenix
which arises from the ashes.

It'll be the Raven.

TYCHO: Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Mr. West.

You shouldn't have
done that, Mr. West.

I deal very severely

with anyone who
makes an attack on me.

And what I might have been then,

if nature hadn't made a mistake,

made me like this.

Don't think I'm envious

of you so-called normal men.

I'm not.

Nature is wise.

Nature has a way of
compensating for its mistakes.

Although my head is
disproportionately large,

Mr. West, my brain...

My brain is twice the size,

and many times the
power and the capacity,

of an ordinary human being.

Chronologically,

I'm only 30 years old.

Yes.

Ah, but I have absorbed

the wisdom of the
ages, Mr. West.

I know all that is,

and I know all that is to be.

I'm sorry you proved
so unreliable, Mr. West.

Raven could have used
a man of your vast talents.

I thought I might
have a second chance.

No second chances
in Raven, Mr. West.

Take him to his quarters.

I'll decide his
punishment later.

Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Professor?

Wait, wait, wait. Prof...

I'll be finished in
less than a minute.

Thank you.

I've just seen Professor Toombs.

Ach, so?

Come.

That won't be necessary.

Well, what about Toombs?

You mentioned to him
the Laszlo spectrum?

Yes. He wants to
talk to you about it.

When?

Right away.

Well, then, let's go.

Professor,

you're on your way.

Oy! Oy!

Let me go!

Help! Murder! Police!

What is going on here?

What?

That is like magic,
what you did.

What is this?

Wait until the German ambassador

hears about this.

Give me that
satchel. That's mine.

Kralle.

Now you two men can go.

How they treat me.

Kralle,

how good to see you again.

Toombs?

You don't recognize me?

Ja, ja, of course, but...

But... But you have changed.

Yeah, we both have changed, huh?

It's been a long
time, professor.

Ah, ja, a long time. Heh-heh.

Do you remember the last
time we saw one another?

Ja, oh, like it was yesterday.

What was it you
were saying to me

just as I was leaving?

Ja, oh, that's what I
say to all my students.

That's good, isn't it? Ja.

Listen, what is happening
with that bench twisting,

and the tough guys grabbing me?

Why is that? Why?

Later, professor.

Right now I'd like to
show you my laboratory.

I think you'll be impressed.

Ah.

And then we'll have a long talk

about old times.

I'll be looking forward to that.

Won't you, professor?

Oh, ja, that...

That... That would be fine. Heh.

Yeah.

Then follow me.

Fine.

What is the matter
with that young man?

Oh, he's one of our
problem patients.

Patients?

You...? You mean
this is a hospital?

In a way.

And Mr. West
refuses to cooperate.

Understand?

Ja, ja. I understand.

Ja, I come.

Well, this is a nice place
you have here, Toombs. Heh.

Very nice.

Laurette, my dear,

may I present Professor Kralle?

Hello.

Well, well, well. Heh.

Charmed.

Have you asked about
the Laszlo spectrum?

She knows?

Oh, it's all right, professor.

Laurette is a trusted colleague.

Well, in that case...

The Laszlo spectrum?

Ja.

You...? You
finally perfected it?

Ja.

How?

How?

Yes.

Well, I used

the regressive
analysis technique.

Regressive analysis technique?

I never heard of it.

Of course not.

Nobody has.

You mean it's your
own discovery?

Ja, of course. What else?

I induced

an anti-inhibitory microorganism

with a far wider range
of psychological activities

than anyone had
ever suspected before.

How does it work, professor?

Oh, it is simplicity itself.

A person injected with my serum

is immediately brought
under my control.

I can turn him on and off

like a machine.

Incredible.

Will it work on anyone?

Anyone.

Even a person of extraordinary
determination and willpower?

No one can resist it.

No one.

Uh, given the proper
dosage, of course.

Would you like me to give
you a little demonstration?

Yes, professor,

and I know exactly the person

you can demonstrate on.

Ja.

And now I am
going to inject this

in your arm, Herr West,

and when I do, you will slip
into a somnambulistic state,

in which you will,
without question,

obey every command
I give you, ja?

It's for your own good, my love.

You may be a genius
as a chemist, professor,

but otherwise
you're not too smart.

What's going to happen
to you if your serum works?

What?

Your old friend Toombs
will have you disposed of.

Shut up, West.

He'll tell Tycho

that the Laszlo spectrum is his.

I told you to shut up.

Tycho? Who is Tycho?

Tycho's the man you
should be demonstrating for.

Oh, well, if he is the
big cheese, then...

Then that is right.
He is the one.

Professor, I assure you,

I'm not trying to
steal your serum.

No?

Well, then why don't you want me

to demonstrate
this for Tycho, huh?

Very good question,
Professor Kralle.

Toombs.

Yes, Tycho?

If Professor Kralle's serum
is as good as he says,

I think I should be present
at the demonstration.

Oh, I... I agree.

It'll take place in
the conference room

in 10 minutes.

I'll make the arrangements.

Ah.

That is firm.

Und now, Herr West,

on my command, I want you,

with a single blow of your hand,

this board to break in two.

Ja?

Ready.

Set.

Go.

Ah, if you would pick
up the piece, please.

And hold that out
in front of you, stiff.

And now, Herr West,

I want you to break
that board in two.

Ready.

Set.

Go.

Danke.

Danke.

Thank you, professor.

Your mental conditioning
serum is remarkable.

Seems you can turn
ordinary men into supermen.

Well, danke, but you have
seen nothing yet, Herr Tycho.

Nothing,

I assure you.

Nothing?

Oh, I have made

far more important discoveries

in the field of chemically
induced hypnosis,

which I would be very
pleased to discuss with you.

Proceed.

Well, I would prefer
to speak in private.

As you wish. As you wish.

You may all go.

Tycho, if you'll
give me a moment,

there's a test I would like
to perform on Mr. West.

With your permission,
of course, professor.

Some other time, ja?

Now, professor.

If it is with my permission,

the demonstration is over.

The demonstration is over

when I say it's over, professor.

What objection do you have

to Mr. Toombs
carrying out his test?

Well, none, of course, but...

Proceed, Toombs.

Thank you, Tycho.

Extend your right hand,

palm-downward.

Now, Mr. West,
I'm about to touch

the flame of a match
to the palm of your hand,

but in your hypnotic state...

you will feel no pain.

Or will you?

Stop!

Stop, I say.

You see, Tycho?

He knew that West
could not stand

the flame against his flesh.

The demonstration
has been a fraud.

A fraud?

Well, if you're going to
challenge your old teacher,

at least do so in a
professional manner.

What do you mean?

I'll show you what I mean.

Ungrateful students. Heh.

Does the acorn point a finger

at the oak tree, huh?

So here.

This is what I mean.

Why use fire

when you can use an explosive?

Oh, perhaps you think

this is also a fraud,

my skeptical friend?

Well, herr doktor,

there is one way
to convince yourself.

Just let me test this explosive

on you instead of
on Herr West, huh?

Do it, Toombs.

Well, Tycho...

Do it.

I can't.

I'm not under the influence
of the professor's serum.

So you admit to

the efficacy of my serum, huh?

Well, uh...

Well, what, Toombs?

Well, yes.

Proceed, Herr Kralle.

Danke.

Now, Herr West,

turn your palm upward, please.

Thank you.

Now we place in
there the explosive.

Ladies and gentlemen,

you will observe
the patient closely.

You will not see
a single tremor,

despite intense pain.

Now, please step back.

Professor,

I allow you to do
the honors, huh?

Oh, Jim, darling.

Oh, that's all right, liebchen.

We just put a little
bandage around it,

and everything will be fine.

Now, Herr Tycho,

with your kind permission,
I would like to have

the patient, uh, to myself

for a little spell
of deconditioning.

But you said he was mine.

Go, Laurette.

The rest of you go with her.

Kralle, what is the
meaning of this?

Stop it.

Stop it.

W-what are you doing?

No, stop it. Stop it!

Your old teacher made a
fool out of you, eh, compadre?

I still think there
was something wrong

with that demonstration.

You're just jealous.

Tycho!

Hmm. Everything ready?

We're ready, Tycho.

I'm so sorry, darling.

We could have had such
a beautiful life together.

Since you two have
penetrated our headquarters,

we're forced to abandon them.

However, this is nothing
more than an inconvenience.

We have other
quarters available,

and the work of
Raven will continue.

On schedule.

By the way, señores,

we have found out that, uh,

Ambassador
Ramirez was not killed

in Nogales after all.

Very clever of you.

But I wish to inform you
that I'm still a trusted advisor

to His Excellency.

I can kill.

It will not have the
same shock effect

as if you had been the
murderer, Señor West,

but it will still serve
Raven's purpose.

Adios, señores.

Absolutely.

He's perfectly right, isn't he?

Come.

I don't like these
odds much, Jim.

I don't either, Frank.

What do you say we
try and improve 'em?

It's all your fault, Toombs,

you and that old
teacher of yours.

Yes, Tycho. Ride on ahead!

Yah!

That's not Huff drivin'!

Yah!

Come on out with your hands up.

Hands up in the air. Get out.

Get against that wall.

Against the wall.

Against the wall.

All right, Mr. Tycho...

Hey, Jim.

He's gone.

Where do you suppose he got to?

Everything just
looks amber to me,

but you're cute as ever.

Uh, the glasses were
just part of the process.

And you really mean that Tycho

could make someone
do just anything?

Makes me shiver
just to think about it.

Me too.

Well, now there's nothing
more to worry about.

Whatever it was that Tycho
used to condition people

was all destroyed
in that explosion.

Let's have another little sip
before we go to dinner, huh?

Okay.

Uh, there is one thing.

What's that?

Well, you said Jim

was only pretending
to be conditioned

when you injected him.

Mm-hm. WOMAN 2: That's right.

So when you set off
that explosion in his hand,

why wasn't he hurt?

Hey, Frank, that's something

I've meant to ask myself.

How did you know it would work?

You don't know anything
about explosives.

Oh, of course I don't,

but I know that Artemus does.

He got a whole box full
of the same kind of bottles

of harmless little chemicals.

See?

Oh, show us how it works.

Yes, please.

I'd be delighted.

Let's see.

Get ice out of here.

Now, first,

we put in a little powder.

And then...

we add a little catalyst.

And then we'll wait
for the little poof.

That, um...? That's
a small explosion?

Well, I-I don't understand, Jim.

I got the other bottle
from the same... place.

That's the powder
that you used on me?

Mm-hm.

Frank, do me a favor.

Yeah?

Don't ever do me
any more favors.