The West Wing (1999–2006): Season 6, Episode 3 - Third Day Story - full transcript
Leo is found in the woods at Camp David and rushed to Bethesda Naval Hospital; President Bartlet's feelings of loyalty and guilt cause him to neglect his duties in favor of maintaining a bedside vigil. With their Chief of Staff out of action and the President unwilling to discuss a replacement, Josh and Toby step on each others toes trying to strike political deals to keep the Middle East peace deal alive. C.J. faces questions from a journalist about who is running the country with both Leo and the President out of the White House.
I've got a guy who wants to come
to a peace table, and I've got a table.
What's the president doing, Leo?
I got enough problems.
Members of Congress were killed, Mr.
President. Instead of seeking justice. . .
. . .you're inviting them to play
-Leo's still down here?
-Yeah, he's in his office.
Why isn't he up at Camp David?
-You planning to discuss Jerusalem?
-That'll be last.
-Because it's the only thing--
-Damn it, don't you think I know that?
That may have serious repercussions
on American foreign policy for decades.
-It's the appropriate, balanced--
-Tell me how this ends, Leo!
My counsel is no longer of use
I'll need your successor in place
before you leave.
I'm pleased to announce that
this afternoon at 2:00. . .
. . .Prime Minister Zahavy, Chairman Farad
and President Bartlet will hold. . .
. . .a joint press conference in the Rose
Garden to describe a tentative accord. . .
. . .that's been reached
between the parties.
You think the president
should address a joint session?
-On the phone.
-He should address them on the phone?
No, I'm on the phone.
Try Mr. McGarry again. It's urgent.
My fellow Americans, please deposit
50 cents for three more paragraphs.
When he comes back from Camp David,
they'll have to welcome him like a hero.
No, operator, if his battery was dead,
-It's still urgent.
-I tried him five times.
We're signing a peace accord. His phone
should be stapled to his head.
-Maybe he's at Foggy Bottom.
-Try Leo McGarry again. . .
-. . .and the secretary's office.
-Peace in our time.
-All downhill from here.
-So much for savoring the moment.
The Republican leadership's been
in the Roosevelt Room 20 minutes.
-A meeting with Leo.
-I can't find him anywhere.
-You can't find him?
Hi. Thanks for holding.
-Mr. Speaker, Mr. Majority Leader.
-We're taking this meeting.
Leo's got a thing at Foggy Bottom.
-Who knows why he'd be busy.
It's not like we brokered
a major peace deal.
Don't get me wrong. You are doing great
work on the soy-based fuel subsidy.
-What Josh means--
-Maybe he means someone will pay. . .
. . .for 20,000 peacekeepers
to enforce your deal. . .
They'll be scraping faces off
Mount Rushmore. It's a news roadblock.
-No use honking.
-What Josh is saying--
Enjoy your roadblock,
which'll last a day, maybe two.
The story goes to Congress,
and whose kids will serve. . .
. . .who's gonna pay. I don't have
to honk. I'll repave the road.
-lf you called this meeting to talk about--
-We called to talk about a tax cut.
-A tax cut?
-A $300 expansion. . .
. . .of the child tax credit.
-We scheduled more than a week ago.
-Now we have a peace to keep.
By appeasing terrorists who'll come back
with badly wired pipe bombs?
-I think badly wired's the good kind.
-Have you seen the deficit projections?
If we do tax cuts on top of
peacekeeping, we'll drown in red ink.
You're talking about an open-ended
deployment with no exit strategy.
It's a way to grease the skids.
Help us pass the tax cut,
then we'll vote on peacekeeping.
You're trying to derail the plan.
We're trying to help families
raise their kids.
-Makes perfect sense in Peoria.
-Peoria doesn't have a budget deficit.
-You expect the president to sign?
-And get us 60 Democratic votes. . .
. . .in the House, to guarantee passage. . .
. . .and make sure Democrats
can't attack us for it later.
-Signal's still trying to reach Leo.
Let's get a flow chart.
State calls the foreign ministers. . .
. . .I call the heads of state. Like tag-team
wrestling without the body slams.
-All set to pile-drive Germany, sir.
Round up as much international support
as we can before the 2:00 signing.
The minute the peace plan gets
through the Hamas leadership--
We have a problem with
our own leadership.
Republicans want a tax cut
before they vote.
I'm surprised they didn't wear masks
and ask for it in a paper bag.
-Apparently, Leo knew.
-We haven't reached him.
-We need this vote.
-lf it means choking down a tax credit--
-I think we should wait for Leo.
What is it?
Barracks security found Leo
in the woods at Camp David.
They think it's a heart attack.
They're flying him
to Bethesda Naval right now.
He was unconscious for a long time.
It's a miracle he has brain function.
Every minute damages
the heart muscle.
-What kind of damage?
-They don't know yet.
-Will they operate?
-They don't know.
These are the best
thoracic surgeons in the world.
-What the hell do they know?
-That time is muscle.
They're gonna do everything they can.
There's no point in everyone going.
He's gonna be out for hours.
Charlie can call back with any updates.
-Should we postpone the peace signing?
-No, I'll be back in time.
-Should we work out--?
-A quick vote on peacekeeping. . .
. . .and a big show
of international support.
A Security Council resolution
would be ideal.
Hold the elevator. Thank you.
Balloon angio was aborted.
He got three mgs of morphine.
Thoracic team's scrubbing in.
Do you understand me? You have
blockage in two arteries to your heart.
Dr. Karnow's one of the best
heart surgeons in the Northeast.
Don't worry. We'll take care of you.
-We should be at the hospital.
You know, he looked pale last night.
I just thought it was a White House tan.
-Can we never use that expression?
-He should've paced himself.
Come on, this isn't a guy
who treats his body like a temple.
We'll be lucky to get the president back
for the signing. Let's get organized.
-NSC's handling the signing ceremony.
-Remarks are done.
Legislative Affairs is making calls.
You're having a meeting
on homelessness and mental health.
-That's a good idea.
I pushed it back.
Look, we're in the middle of
an intersection without a traffic cop.
If we want, we can run things
If we want?
I'm talking about a process.
And if we want to sacrifice
livestock in your name?
Fine. A decision-making tree.
Be the communications director,
chief of staff.
Use the barn for a stage.
How do I tell the press about Leo?
There's too much we can't answer.
-What matters most the next 72 hours. . .
. . .is that the peace accord can hold.
In other words. . .
-. . .a tax cut.
-A tax cut.
Are we free associating?
The leadership wants 60 Democratic
votes for a tax cut.
-Or no vote on peacekeeping.
-Which makes it hard to build a coalition.
-And scrape faces off Mount Rushmore.
-But it makes sense in Peoria.
And yet here we are, far from Peoria
and far from making any sense.
-I'll put out that statement.
-Start with ranking Democrats. . .
. . .on Ways and Means.
They can deliver 30, 40 votes right off.
No specifics, okay? We're just jacking up
a tax credit that's already on the books.
Try to get statements endorsing the plan
from members of the Security Council.
It could make a resolution seem
like a done deal.
and Japan and Bulgaria.
-State's sending them.
You might wanna gather statements
from Security Council members.
Build momentum toward that resolution.
We'll tell the president it was your idea.
Hey, why don't you work with State. . .
. . .bundle together any public statements
from members of the Security Council.
-I got your back on this.
-My back gets your back.
This day is gonna be
an absolute nightmare.
What were the indications for a bypass
and not a PTCA?
Lesion's too extensive.
He was in profound cardiogenic shock.
-Internal mammary isn't viable.
-How long till he's off the pump?
-Yeah, he was down a long time.
-Time being muscle.
-I'll come back when I have more.
Hey. I'm gonna be gone for about
an hour. Call me if you hear anything.
State's got draft language
for a resolution.
I heard Russia's onboard.
to vote against it. . .
. . .and Turkmenistan's
banging on cans.
-Don't comment on Turkmenistan.
President's Looney Tunes. He created
a holiday for his favorite melon.
-A holiday for a melon?
-He mandated that the people. . .
. . .gnaw on bones like dogs
to strengthen their teeth. He's nuts.
He's got a Security Council vote.
Turkmenistan's taking its turn.
Ignore him. He'll fall in line.
-Where are you going?
-To meet Donna's plane at Andrews.
Who says these jobs
don't come with a cost?
Look at you.
-Leo's having his chest cracked open. . .
. . .and you're headed toward
a high-fructose coma.
-I just eat this when it's around.
-Which is all the time.
I'd like to see you live
past the age of 12.
Stay off junk for the week. See if
you can survive on, you know, food. . .
. . .and I'll cook this weekend.
-An apron and a floppy hat?
-Wearing anything you like.
-You know perfectly well what I mean.
Piece of cake.
According to excerpts made available
by the White House...
... the president will declare that "peace,
so long within sight, is within grasp. "
Many believe the Camp David summit
was a fool's errand, tilting at historical--
Stress actually restricts the flow
of blood through the coronary arteries.
What I'm saying is it's physiological.
Unless you wanted him
meditating his way. . .
. . .through intelligence briefings
and sleeping in a tank. . .
-. . .there's nothing you did that's--
-I fired him.
-Last night, at Camp David, I fired him.
What does that do
to the flow of blood?
Let's get another line in.
-A little extra room here.
POTUS can't do this at 3.
He's gotta do NSC principals
before he goes back to the hospital.
-Push my homelessness meeting.
The president did a great thing
at Camp David.
-You got any news on Leo?
-They're trying to stabilize his pressure.
-What does that mean?
No idea, but I wish they'd do it to me.
I know you've got a block. . .
. . .of votes on Ways and Means,
and you probably think the timing. . .
-. . .of this child tax credit is silly.
-I don't think it's silly.
When we're asking our constituents
to support a huge troop deployment. . .
-. . .we ought to give them something.
-Free wrapping at the counter.
As many Democrats as you can deliver.
How many children will be eligible
for this expanded credit?
Same as the current code.
Income phaseout at a 110 K--
No, how many children per family?
How many you got?
The deficit hawks are talking about
capping the number of eligible kids.
-Promise me we won't.
-Leave that to Congress.
What does the president say to the
parents who're on their seventh, eighth?
"Try renting a movie sometime"?
Republicans'll say any disincentive
to have kids is two steps short. . .
. . .of government-ordered abortion.
You want us to look anti-family?
It's crazy when we're gonna need
50, 60 billion for peacekeeping.
-I agree, congressman. . .
. . .but the leadership isn't gonna
authorize. . .
-. . .without greasing the skids.
-Fine. Just go easy on the grease.
-Not too much.
-We've got an income cutoff.
-Put a cap at three or four kids.
Only a tiny fraction of families
has more than four kids.
It sends a message about social
responsibility, as well as fiscal.
Social and fiscal.
We'd prefer to leave
the details to Congress.
Peacekeeping's gonna explode
We should subsidize every
Rube Goldberg's reproductive glands?
They're opening the Qalandia checkpoint
in Jerusalem. I'll need more.
-Check in with the hospital.
-They started the bypass.
We won't know for a couple hours.
Make sure they haven't had
a power outage. What's next?
You've got a few minutes before NSA.
Josh is in with House Democrats.
No, I'm fine.
It's not a priority.
I wasn't pushing.
I just threw it out as a suggestion.
And I don't think that--
We're open to whatever reasonable
solution you can come up with.
It may not be popular to say,
but this is an information age.
Quality, not quantity.
-Excuse me, congressman.
It's just that Josh is diabetic. . .
. . .and I haven't had any lunch.
-The damage was pretty severe.
They had to restart his heart
when they took off the clamp.
I need to see the president
before he goes back.
He's in with Will.
-He wanted to see Will.
-I wanna see him.
-I'll try. He won't be here long.
I heard you finished your courses.
-I've still got requirements.
A swim test. Stuff like that.
Well, let me know when Will
paddles back to the shallow end.
Syria wishes the Golan Heights
had been on the table.
Holland wishes Gouda had been on the
table. Life's full of disappointments.
Sources say congressional leaders
The major networks have shown them
trashing it for days. . .
. . .but we're working with them.
-Any word on Leo?
-Still in surgery. That's all I have.
-So is it gonna be Josh or Toby?
-The new chief of staff.
-"C.J., I'm sorry your boss and friend. . .
. . .is sprawled across
an operating table. . .
. . .but I think it's kind of neat
the president forged a peace deal.
Why don't I write about it?"
-Unless I'm playing both parts, yes.
"Jeepers, Brock, you care about Leo
too, but there's a power vacuum here.
You haven't owned a typewriter
since the Coolidge administration. "
-I'd never say "jeepers. "
We're riding one of the best press
waves of this presidency.
Words "Nobel Peace Prize"
were in two stories. . .
. . .so I don't have to play your game
of inside baseball.
-What's Leo's prognosis?
-You have no way of knowing that.
-Then why'd you ask?
We're talking about
the virtual co-president.
You can't tell me
who's running the place.
-How many hours did he spend. . .
. . .at the hospital?
He's cleared his schedule.
-He's going back?
-The Israeli-Palestinian delegations. . .
. . .are at Andrews.
He's finished his public schedule.
C.J., I can hold off my editors
for a day, maybe two.
But pretty soon, we're gonna have
to know who's filling his shoes.
Don't worry, Mr. Prime Minister.
Congress is going to schedule a vote.
I appreciate your help.
I'll do the rest of these from Bethesda.
-You sure I can skip the reception?
-Delegations are gone. NSC says fine.
Sir, I've never been prouder to work here
than I was this afternoon. . .
. . .when the chairman and the prime
minister shook hands. And you--
-Watched them shake hands.
-Leo would be proud too.
-Will be proud.
-He had his reservations about all this.
I'm not saying it won't blow up
in your face.
I'll pack up and meet you
at the hospital.
This tax bill we're working on
for the leadership--
Just get us a vote on peacekeeping.
Some of the deficit hawks want us
to cap the number of kids.
I'm thinking four, but then,
you stopped at three.
That's probably a barrelful.
Let me know when you get a vote.
You know, if you want someone
working out of Leo's office. . .
. . .just to shout if you need anything. . . .
-I'll let you know when we got a vote.
This accord couldn 't have been reached
without a strong American role...
... without President Bartlet's sustained
-How was your meeting?
-He asked me to pitch in.
You didn't pitch a tent?
Can we do some business?
Lebanon's come out against the accord.
France may oppose a resolution
until Congress acts.
They don't wanna do
The president of Turkmenistan's saying
he flipped Lebanon.
He's lying. We should throw an elbow.
This is some nutbag dictator-of-the-week
begging for surplus rutabagas.
-You're a bounder and a cheat.
-You tried to entrap me. . .
-. . .with those brownies.
-I didn't put those there.
My traps have metal jaws.
The president wants
a unanimous vote.
We've lost three countries
in the last hour. . .
. . .and both our diplomatic heavies
are in the cardiac ward.
So we tell State to lean on France.
Slap a tariff on baguettes.
-That'll do it.
Except the secretary's
not returning my calls.
-Me too. Do we have 60 votes?
Congressional action would help.
-I've got 23.
-I got 27. Plus, the whip's making calls.
I'll get us home.
I had to promise not to cap
the number of kids.
-As if anyone in their right mind--
-Capped at four.
I just told the deficit hawks we would.
-You weren't to negotiate specifics.
"No cap" doesn't count. When did we
become the Chinese population bureau?
I forgot this was the free-Iove clinic.
Let me go get my caftan.
-There better be 23 votes in that lining.
Get Treasury to crank out an estimate.
This cap might not save much.
Maybe Josh can move back his 27
without losing your 23.
I'll call the Office of Tax Analysis
Look for more votes in case
that doesn't work.
Leo's office got meeting requests
from some backbenchers.
Call them off the bench
and find more benches.
What about Turkmenistan?
It's a nation of Labradors run
by Zeppo Marx.
Can we please stop talking
Five hours he's been on the pump.
You blanched at three.
What can I say?
Five is more than three.
I don't want you to sugarcoat this.
If I knew how, I would.
Mr. President, Mrs. Bartlet.
-We're still waiting.
Mallory told us downstairs.
Sir, may I have a moment
of your time?
-About tomorrow's schedule.
-I'm staying here.
-I don't know, Toby.
There are a few variables
You have to name
an interim chief of staff.
-Leo is my interim chief of staff.
-Two days, for two weeks--
He's been in surgery five hours.
Wanna walk in and take his car keys?
No, sir. And I care about his surgery,
but we're fumbling the tax bill.
Our diplomatic strategy
is a game of telephone. . .
. . .and these are the things
we're spending time on.
-Read the coverage. We're doing fine.
The second-day story
is how you pulled it off.
But the third-day story is that
Congress doesn't wanna pay. . .
. . .that our coalition's fraying,
the spokes are coming off--
It's a couple of days.
This was totally unexpected.
No, it wasn't.
Not with Leo's history with alcohol,
Mr. President. . .
. . .surely you had a process in place.
Not for this. And I'm not having
this conversation here.
You think we'd be doing this
No, sir, but Leo is one person.
And there's 290 million more,
and they come first.
They finished the bypass. His heart
won't function without the machines.
They'll try again in a few hours. We
have to talk to Mallory about options. . .
. . .in case that doesn't work.
The surgery went well,
but his heart still won't beat on its own.
-So he's one for two.
-Yeah. One for two.
-Welcome home, Donna.
-You shouldn't wheel me around.
-I wanna wheel you around.
I feel like a Soviet premier
who's secretly been dead for 10 years.
Your speeches to the Comintern
have been flat lately.
I've got CEA. I wish I could--
It's so great to have you back.
-You're weak, and you know.
-Belly up to the griddle, Grizelda.
-Are we opening a restaurant?
-C.J.'s trying to trap me.
She's going down like
a cheap pair of salad tongs.
-I'm not sure I follow--
-Hang on one second.
I gotta get this. Don't go anywhere.
Mr. Speaker, the president's not
looking to muscle you.
-That's why I'm here and not Josh.
We almost had the 60 Democrats. . .
. . .and then half of them wanted
a cap on the number of kids.
-Things fell apart.
-There's other Democrats out there.
We're looking to take those meetings,
and hold onto the ones we had. . .
. . .but the president's hoping Congress
can vote on peacekeeping first.
I'm here to sweeten the deal.
A $400 tax credit.
Sure. I'll put him on speaker phone.
-The president's going postal...
...over this tax credit. I practically had
to peel him off the ceiling.
I may talk him down, but you'll have
to move on peacekeeping.
-lf you wanna get back to--
-Sweetening the deal?
-Did I mention it's a very low ceiling?
-Allow me to speak from my own ceiling.
or no vote on peacekeeping.
I've got a quorum call, but I'm. . .
. . .oh, so happy I could bring
you two together.
Bye-bye, Josh, Toby.
Okay, the thing about
good copbad cop, it usually helps--
I need to know when Toby's back.
He's trying to anoint himself
lord of the flies.
And. . .
-. . .get me the Democratic whip.
-You know there's an intercom.
-You can always use--
-I hate to take your time.
-What do you think it's for?
Now I gotta do my lousy Cary Grant,
and you end up stealing the scene.
What do you need?
-Who's the new chief of staff?
-I'll tell you about him.
Leo McGarry, comes out of Chicago.
An unconventional choice, sure--
-We were off the '30s comedy.
-Leo just got out of bypass.
He could be out of the woods.
I guess these woods
don't include incisional pain. . .
. . .chronic pain, swelling in both legs
because they took grafts from both.
They don't include mood swings, loss of
short-term memory, loss of blood supply.
If they do, Leo won't be
out of them for three or four months.
-Who's the new chief of staff?
-You know so much, you tell me.
-I'm hearing Will Bailey.
-Have your hearing checked.
Had a one-on-one with the president
Knows the military,
which Josh and Toby don't.
Josh and Toby know every inch. . .
. . .of the government, military,
industrial, animal, mineral--
Folks can manage down.
Will's proven he can manage up.
A fully fledged adult.
Josh and Toby are adult, responsible,
Throw me in a vat of custard
with a chocolate-covered snorkel.
It's gonna be you and me this weekend,
baby, and you are wearing a floppy hat!
Congresswoman, thanks for seeing me.
I'm doing back-to-back meetings.
-Well, thanks for seeing me.
-Obviously, Leo's out of commission.
-I hope he's okay.
We'll need your help
on this tax bill.
Harder than we thought to get
60 votes in two days.
I'd like to amend it, appoint a monarch
for the United States of America.
Oh, I'm serious.
What are these?
President's public schedules
for the last four months.
I've calculated that he spends
53.7 percent of his time. . .
. . .on ribbon-cuttings
and overseas tea ceremonies.
Which may be why,
on his trip to Argentina. . .
. . .he went to three banquets
and didn't do a damn thing. . .
. . .for the pork producers in Iowa.
-You can't. This isn't--
-lf they don't get tax relief in this bill. . .
. . .I'm calling for a monarch. Someone to
do the glad-handing, ceremonial fluff. . .
. . .so the president will help
people at home.
For a Democrat to do this,
we're gonna look like buffoons.
I know the argument.
The staff runs the show while the
president's off dedicating supermarkets.
All due respect, no one elected Leo,
and no one elected you.
I'm sorry I'm late, congressman.
I'm sure Leo would wanna
be here himself.
-A few snags with the tax bill.
-So I gather.
Truth is, we could use your vote.
Your Justice Department hasn't filed
a single amicus brief. . .
. . .in the Oregon or Massachusetts
gay marriage cases.
We've debated this a lot.
You know how dicey it is for the party.
-We're headed into election year.
-Can't get too ahead of public opinion. . .
-. . .much as we'd like to.
-That's why I'd like to help. . .
-. . .by introducing a bill to ban marriage.
-That's an interesting idea.
We drop a bill to ban gay marriage. . .
. . .tag a few moderate Republicans
as intolerant, but trust me. . .
. . .it hurts our moderates
50 times more.
My bill bans all marriage.
-AII, as in. . .?
-lf we can't make it available. . .
. . .to everyone, I want us out entirely.
Leave it to churches, synagogues. . .
. . .and, of course,
casinos and department stores.
Did the RNC put you up to this?
They don't condone my lifestyle,
and I don't condone theirs.
-The Democratic leadership.
-What about them?
Did they call to warn me
that Benoit wants to ban marriage?
-lf we won't support gay marriage. . .
-. . .he wants the government out entirely.
-Who takes that seriously?
It's a direct-mail bonanza
for the other side.
Even a fringe bill to ban marriage,
they'll be reenacting Caligula...
-. . .at the Republican convention.
-You'd look cute in a toga and a collar.
-C.J. says China's joined. . .
. . .the opposition to vote
until Congress acts.
Why isn't the State Department
The president of Turkmenistan said
he knows of six wavering votes.
No, he doesn't! He's making that up!
We need a coalition. We're being
mugged by a melon worshipper.
Excuse me. This is for Mr. Lyman
from the southwest gate.
-From C.J. Cregg.
-Probably stuck me with the bill too.
Send it to the president of Turkmenistan.
The speaker was never for this deal.
A Security Council resolution
would prod him.
What sense does it make to wait?
Thank you, Madame President.
Charlie's bringing a change of clothes
and a new batch of call sheets.
-Leave them at the White House.
-I'm staying here.
Tell him to leave them
at the White House.
I can do this here.
The way they wire these places. . .
. . .I could do it from a cardboard box
in Lafayette Park.
You think this is your fault.
He's my best friend.
I'm not the kind
who has best friends.
Because your life is your work,
and so is his.
-What are you trying to say?
You chose this. Both of you.
You're running a country,
not a tree house.
Leo stays in the tree.
We'll work around his recovery.
-Half-days, whatever it takes.
-He's not gonna work half-days.
-He's not gonna do whatever it takes.
-That's his decision.
-We know what that will be.
-So I wake him and fire him?
-It worked so well the first time.
-Let's talk about this time.
You've got to keep him out of that job.
He'll kill himself for you if you don't.
Debbie, I'm ready for my next call.
-I'm late for a briefing.
-It just started.
England, Iceland, Spain and Canada
have all pledged troops for peacekeeping.
-DOD called me.
-There's something else.
Does Canada even have troops?
They hurl little bottles of maple syrup?
-Put out a release.
-Something else, what?
-Leo's heart's beating on its own.
He's still critical,
but he's off the heart and lung machine.
I'm late for an economic briefing.
-Leo's off the pump.
-Am I having a bar mitzvah?
-The peace signing.
The prime minister used it to sign
the H in his name. I tried for the Z.
The Israeli ambassador beat me to it.
I didn't have anything to do with it.
Let's just say you were a blood donor.
I wanna stop taking those for granted.
Why's the treasury secretary on TV?
She's probably spinning
the peace deal.
C.J.'s rolling out
We ought to loop her in
on that tax cut, actually.
I believe so, Steve. I'm hopeful.
So is the president.
There are rumors circulating...
...on the Hill about a new tax cut
from the administration.
Some believe it's a way to buy support
for a tough peacekeeping mission.
That's without foundation, Steve.
The Treasury did an estimate of the cost
of tax cuts on top of peacekeeping.
It would substantially increase deficit.
I can guarantee the president won 't sign.
Thank you, Madame Secretary.
The Treasury estimate.
-Did you see it?
-Treasury secretary did.
-We should've looped her in sooner.
Yeah. That too.
When I suggested a Treasury estimate,
I assumed we told the secretary. . .
. . .head of all federal tax policy, what in
Alexander Hamilton's name we're doing.
Good assumption, though.
I'll call her press office,
see if we can roll this thing back.
Tax cut just got more expensive.
I had to give incentives to pork
producers to avoid a little P.R. problem.
I promised we wouldn't back
amendments so Benoit wouldn't do. . .
. . .something I don't wanna go
You shouldn't negotiate specifics.
I thought "no specifics" wasn't
a specific. You made these stupid rules.
-lf I was the only one who broke them. . .?
-What double standard is that?
Find a standard, I'll let you know.
-You run this off the top of your head?
-I wanna run it off something.
-You at the top.
With you at the top.
I tried to tell the president
to give you the job.
-He seems to want us topless for now.
-You wanted me at the top?
For two days,
I've been trying to hold a meeting.
One lousy kickoff meeting
on homelessness and mental health.
-The best idea you've had in months.
-It was Leo's.
He didn't want the urgent
to crowd out the important.
-Getting harder to tell the difference.
-Well, someone ought to try.
We can 't just rush in with billy clubs.
Hamas and other terrorist groups
will have to stand down first.
So yes, we're in discussions
with the administration...
. . .and I hope to have more to say...
...about a possible U.S. military role
in the Middle East very soon.
-"A possible role. "
-Still, coverage today was extraordinary.
Burst of warmth
before you freeze to death.
-It's a bit drafty in here, actually.
-Shut the door.
Your meeting with the president,
I'm getting questions.
Anything you wanna tell me?
He wanted a few thoughts
on NATO's role in peacekeeping.
Belgium. . .
. . .Bulgaria, Canada. . .
. . .Denmark, Estonia.
-Well, heavens to Murgatroyd.
We have all the NATO countries.
We've been focusing on
the Security Council, but we have--
-Does this mean you're cooking for me?
-Not a chance. Carol?
Every NATO member's endorsed
the peace accord.
We're moving the goal post
and claiming the match.
He's only back here to meet
with the CINCs. Do this fast.
-You go first.
-You've got the special relationship.
-You mean "bound for deportation. "
-He's not that upset.
No, just kidding. He's ready to rip off
his finger and light it like a cigarette.
I'd like to know why my treasury
secretary's on television denouncing. . .
. . .a tax cut I never saw because
of an estimate I never asked for.
-We did offer to brief you on the details.
-Brief me now.
We're not quite ready
to brief you on the details.
Because you made
a complete hash of it.
The leadership's sole request
before taking up peacekeeping.
We're close to 60 Democratic votes.
It's just that you might face a decision
about the fall legislative agenda.
-You prefer a bill to appoint. . .
. . .an American monarch?
Or a ban on the institution
Except in casinos
and department stores.
Tell the speaker
and the majority leader. . .
. . .that with my newfound
royal authority. . .
. . .with all my time
now that my marriage is banned. . .
. . .and with the support
of every NATO member in my pocket. . .
. . .I'm sending peacekeepers
to the Middle East.
If Congress wants to feed them,
pay them. . .
. . .or bring them back, that's up to them.
-We're free to play with the language?
-We're done here.
Shed some light on
this State Department cable.
-"Turkmenistan to U.S. . .
. . .we didn't order these pizzas. "
Bet you're thinking there's
a really good explanation, sir.
-Some welcome-home party, huh?
-Oh, feels lucky just to be home.
-He's in step-down.
He can see visitors pretty soon.
-Coming to the hospital?
-A bit later, yeah.
-Zoey came to see me.
-I told her you were back.
You finished up at Georgetown.
-I wish she'd stop telling people.
-I'd shout it from the rooftops.
-We've got snipers up there.
-That was a metaphorical thing.
-The truth is, I'm not done.
I never took a swim test,
there's forms I haven't filed.
You're holding up your college degree
over paperwork and laps in a pool?
When I started Georgetown. . .
. . .the president made me promise that
when I got the degree, I'd leave this job.
Why would he want you to do that?
He doesn't want me holding his jacket
for the rest of my life.
-I'll see you at the hospital.
-Happy almost graduation, Charlie.
I'm not wearing a tassel.
I don't care what they do to me.
A morphine drip,
and we can skip the formalities.
I might get one myself. . .
. . .wheel it into meetings
with the joint chiefs.
You're not fired, Leo.
You can delegate, work part-time.
Bring the morphine with you
for all I care.
You. . . .
You remember. . .
. . .what you told me. . .
. . .when you offered me the job?
"I need you to jump off a cliff. "
And I did.
And I'd do it again.
But you need a new. . .
. . .chief of staff.
We came here to put the job first.
Spend our lives for something
that would outlast us.
I just thought we'd have
a longer line of credit is all.
I'm gonna need that list of names.
Only one name.
-You planted these baskets.
-I promised Donna no more traps.
It's like a torture chamber designed
by a renegade Keebler elf.
I never took a moment to thank you
for your work at Camp David. . .
. . .and holding the building together--
Well, not exactly together,
in Leo's absence.
It's been a rocky couple of days. . .
. . .and that's my fault, no one else's.
We'll meet with the joint leadership
tomorrow and work out that tax cut.
Even then, we've got some fences
to mend at the U.N. . .
. . .so I imagine we'll see some pretty
rough third- and fourth-day stories.
But you know what?
There'll be a fifth day, and a sixth. . .
. . .and a seventh after that.
So. . .
. . .go spend some time
with my outgoing chief of staff. . .
. . .because then we got work to do.
Thank you, Mr. President.
There's something I need you
to do for me.
Jump off a cliff.
We'll talk about it on the ride back.