The West Wing (1999–2006): Season 4, Episode 3 - College Kids - full transcript
Josh and Toby have a plan to make college cheaper. Leo starts talking to a lawyer about the Shareef assassination. A judicial ruling on third-party candidates has troubling implications for the campaign.
Previously on The West Wing:
It's fun.
I like you. I've been trying
to get it in under the wire.
Two pipe bombs were set off
inside the Geiger Indoor Arena.
- Forty-four people were...
- Killed at Kennison State University.
- I'm Matt Kelley.
- I'm Toby Ziegler.
I work at the White House.
You have a minute to talk?
We have reason to believe
in the next 48 hours...
...the Qumari rescue team
will announce...
...they recovered
a military-issue Israeli parachute.
- What do we do?
- We're in the Situation Room.
Let's go.
Ten-hut.
Nancy's in her office. There are
some calls I asked her to make.
I told the president
about the parachute.
Tommy, do they make parachutes
in Israel? They're saying it's...
...an Israeli-made parachute.
- They make them. They're good ones.
- Listen, I know we're here...
...for a serious purpose,
for a sober purpose...
...but I wanted to say I've never been
part of a street gang before.
That's basically what we are. A pretty
well-financed one, but anyway...
...I wanted to say it feels good...
...and when we're done with this
meeting we should go out and get girls...
...maybe knock over a fruit stand
or something.
- Okay.
- We're gonna need to learn...
...to sing and dance.
The information's basically coming
from the NSC operations unit.
A cell phone intercept
between the sultan and Habib.
"The Butcher of Kafr will have
no choice but to resign."
We're sure he's talking about Israel?
"The Butcher of Kafr will have
no choice but to resign."
- Well, B movie dialogue aside...
- Toby and Josh are back.
Toby Ziegler and Josh Lyman missed
the motorcade in Indiana yesterday.
It's taken them 20 hours
to get home.
- They're walking into D.C. right now.
- Doesn't matter.
Assume the sultan goes
to Aljazeera...
...and announces Shareef's
plane didn't go down accidentally...
...that it was brought down
by the Israelis. What are the options?
- Do nothing.
- Which we can't do.
Call Qumar's bluff,
demand they produce proof.
- We can't call their bluff.
- Why?
They're calling our bluff. When they
produce manufactured proof...
...we'd have to say,
"You manufactured that."
They'd say,"How do you know?"
- So the next option is, we defend Israel.
- You're not curious why...
...they're walking into D.C.?
- No.
What happens if Hezbollah
launches a missile at Israel?
- Israel attacks Lebanon...
-"Walking into D.C. from where?"...
...you gotta ask yourself.
- You wanna hunker down?
Just for that, when it comes time
to give out gang nicknames...
...you're gonna be... I don't know, but
you're not gonna have a good nickname.
Ellie had a teacher named Mr. Pordy
who had no interest in nuance.
He asked why there's always
conflict in the Middle East.
Ellie raised her hand and said,
"It's a centuries-old religious conflict...
...involving land and suspicion
and culture."
"Wrong," Mr. Pordy said.
"It's because it's incredibly hot
and there's no water."
I'm hunkered down. I'm going to East
Lansing. We're gonna need a lawyer.
There are some 120 news outlets...
...covering the movements
of the president.
Only the best ride with me. The rest...
...consigned to the zoo plane
with no moist towelettes.
This is why I'm so disappointed.
With the exceptions of Terry,
Mike, Mark and Rachel...
...you all misspelled Muhziriabolah.
- I'm on television.
It was misspelled in your copy,
I could tell.
Is there an advance on the speech
to the teachers?
An advance copy of text?
You must be new.
What's he going to say about
the pipe bombing?
He's obviously gonna talk about it,
but I don't know.
The filing center's behind the press riser.
You'll have time...
...while the president meets
with the executive board.
- Open to the pool?
- Pool photos.
He's spoken
to the university president?
He's spoken to Chancellor Bayless.
The president's accepted an invitation
to speak at the memorial...
...on the KSU campus Saturday.
- Anything from the FBI?
- I'm referring those questions...
...to Zane Littleton. I do wanna
underline their initial finding:
It doesn't appear to be
foreign terrorism.
- And that's based on...?
- The nature of the explosive. Okay, then.
To Battle Creek Air National Guard Base
is an hour, 45 minutes.
It's 45 minutes to Michigan State,
where the president will address...
...the delegates from the NEA
for 25 minutes.
Josh and Toby aren't on the plane.
They still at a gas station in Unionville?
No, they made it home.
Their mothers are relieved.
They've been given
a four-hour vacation. Anything else?
M-U-H-Z-I-R-I-A-B-O-L-A-H.
He might get asked about Title IX.
- Why?
- Ritchie mentioned yesterday...
...it's worth reexamine,
so they'll ask him for a reaction.
Talk to Josh for his first thoughts.
- What are yours?
- On Title IX?
- I have none. I'm indifferent.
- You can't be indifferent.
I have to be. I have only so much RAM
in my head. I have to prioritize.
I have to throw some things
overboard...
...so I've chosen not to care whether
or not Purdue has a fencing team.
- Sam.
- Bruno.
This is Debbie Fiderer,
the president's new exec.
Bruno Gianelli, general chairman,
Committee to Re-elect.
- Hello.
- Hi.
The D.C. district court is ruling
today on a debate case.
- Know anything?
- I think it's...
...Sullivan v. Commission
on Presidential Debates.
ABC, CBS, NBC News, et al.
This is the third-party rule
15 percent?
- It happens every four years.
- All right.
There are 500 citizen lawsuits
trying to get their guy in the debate.
- It never goes anywhere.
- All right.
Fiderer's a funny name.
It's not ha-ha funny.
It's just, you know...
Okay.
Stay on Sullivan v. Commission
on Presidential Debates.
- Yeah.
- It's a guy suing...
...so Stackhouse can be
in the debate.
I thought Stackhouse was
supposed to endorse the president.
- He is. He will.
- Why would he be in the debate?
Presumably he's
endorsing the president...
...because he knew he
wouldn't be in the debate...
- How bad would it be?
- It'd be bad.
Which is why, even if he was allowed in,
he wouldn't do it.
Stackhouse isn't trying to hurt the
president. But let's get back to you.
Josh Lyman's gonna give you
a security and ethics briefing.
Charlie will tell you some things.
You have provisional clearance
pending successful completion...
...of the SF-86 and a GC-1
background check.
- What is it?
- It's a questionnaire.
Extensive questions on your past...
...personal, professional, financial,
pharmaceutical...
Oh, no, I know the form.
- What is a GC-1?
- They contact family members...
...and friends and neighbors
and former neighbors to corroborate.
This is fine, but I've worked
at the White House before.
At my last job, the background
check wasn't this extensive...
You have a button on your phone.
A crash button.
A crash button which will bring
the Secret Service, turning your office...
...into a live microphone which'll be
broadcast all over the building.
You push it if someone's trying
to take the Oval Office.
This isn't your last job.
- Sam, we need you in here.
- Excuse me.
Bruno thinks we dump
the whole thing.
I think 44 people are dead and we
can't give a speech on education.
It's gonna look opportunistic if we talk
about lowa at a campaign event.
- Plus we're using the teachers like props.
- He's gotta mention it, though.
- Yeah, he can't not mention it.
- There are dead children...
...and you segue to what?
- I don't know.
- I don't know either.
- What are your feelings, sir?
I don't know, it's a 7-10 split.
- Could you work on it a while?
- Yes, sir.
I'm gonna call Leo. I'll be in my office.
Let her on in, Becky.
- Good morning.
- Hello.
You look sensational in
your Gabriella-something thing there.
- Thank you.
-"Cloak and dagger"?
- Look.
-"Cloak and dagger"?
- It was one sentence in a two-page note.
- You sent me a note?
I was asked here on business,
which I usually conduct at my office.
I was gonna come there.
Then I thought, between the lobby...
...the elevator, the reception area, the
paralegals area, the associates area...
...and the coffee room
of a Washington, D.C., law firm...
...there was a chance someone might
recognize the White House chief of staff.
All I meant by"cloak and dagger" is
I'm not cut out for security meetings...
...the secret this
and back-channel ambassadors.
It's like you're in the Mafia.
It may be like I'm in the Mafia,
but I'm not. I work for the good guys.
It was one sentence.
The problem was, you were never
at the other end of the phone.
That's an entirely different kettle of
beans, and we can have that discussion.
History's shown if you wait
and tell it to a divorce lawyer...
...you can have half my stuff.
- I don't want it.
Some of it's good stuff.
- Where are we going?
- Someplace quiet where we can talk.
The White House Situation Room.
We just call it that.
Am I even allowed to be in here?
Look at this stuff.
It's a map of North America.
What are you worried about?
- Hey, where are you from?
- I'm from Lincoln, Nebraska.
Lieutenant, can you throw an Opal Drill
up on the wall? Lincoln, Nebraska.
What's it doing?
It's showing a first-strike nuclear attack
from Beijing and North Korea.
Hey, look at that, Lincoln survives
the first of the... No, not so much.
Leo?
First of all...
...we have to go beyond the normal
attorney-client privilege. This is sensitive.
There are no degrees
of attorney-client privilege.
No, I'm talking about state secrets
with highest-security classification.
If you told anyone, you'd be convicted
of treason and sent to prison.
- No, I wouldn't.
- No, it's nothing like treason.
- But if you told anyone, it'd be bad.
- What?
Do you remember last May...
...that a private plane carrying Qumari
Defense Minister Abdul Shareef...
...went down near Bermuda
and all passengers...
...including Shareef, were dead?
- No.
- No?
- No.
Okay. Well, it happened.
Qumar has been investigating
the accident...
...because they believe there
was foul play.
And we believe... In fact, we know
they're trying to frame Israel.
- They're producing phony evidence.
- How do you know?
I'm sorry.
- You said,"We know." How?
- Because we do.
- Why isn't it possible for Israel to...?
- Jordan...
...we know any evidence of
assassination is manufactured.
- How?
- Because we destroyed all the evidence.
Mr. McGarry, I have
the president on your line.
Yes, sir.
- How's it going?
- Fine.
- Is she there?
- Yeah.
- What do you know?
- Casper's here. He's gonna talk to me.
- I'll send him to you next, all right?
- Thank you.
- What are you about to say?
- I don't know. I have about two minutes.
Okay.
"The bullying nature of the intrusive
and invasive government...
...of the U.S. has to be rendered quickly
and decisively a wake-up call, and this..."
- What do you think of this?
- He's not Tom Paine.
- No.
- It's rhetoric common to separatists.
They're telling us that English
is his first language.
But he's not very well educated.
- Is it credible?
- Yes, sir.
- You think it was sent by the bomber?
- Or his group.
- We think there's a group.
- We don't know.
- Now, you've been told...
- The end of the letter promises more.
Yes, sir. In the next 48 hours.
Obviously, we expected that.
It's what they always say.
Unless what?
That's where I'm confused.
He didn't make any demands, sir.
This letter isn't a threat.
It's an announcement.
All right, what do you have?
"We will catch the perpetrators, we will
track them down, we'll punish them"...
...along those lines.
- It's too early for Rocky.
- Plus, once you catch a perpetrator...
...you don't need to track him down.
- He likes the rhythm.
- It was his line.
- It's a dummy phrase. It's a placeholder.
I think I'm just gonna talk a little bit.
-"Joy cometh in the morning," sir.
- Thank you.
The president of the United States.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
"Joy cometh in the morning,"
Scripture tells us. I hope so.
I don't know if life would be
worth living if it didn't.
And I don't yet know who set
off the bomb at Kennison State.
I don't know if it's one person or 10
and I don't know what they want.
All I know for sure,
all I know for certain...
...is that they weren't born
wanting to do this.
There's evil in the world. There'll always
be. We can't do anything about that.
But there's violence in our schools...
...too much mayhem in our culture,
and we can do something about that.
There's not enough character,
discipline, depth in our classrooms.
There aren't enough teachers
in our classrooms.
There isn't nearly enough,
not nearly enough...
...not nearly enough money
in our classrooms.
And we can do something
about that.
We're not doing nearly enough...
...not nearly enough,
to teach our children well.
And we can do better and we must
do better and we will do better.
And we will start this moment today.
They weren't born wanting to do this.
I've been thinking about
an egg salad sandwich on a kaiser roll.
If it's Milos making the potato salad,
then potato salad.
If it's not, then a potato
in any other form will be fine.
Why did you tell me that?
I didn't. I was talking to Margaret.
- I know that.
-She knows that, sir. She meant...
He's got a secret ingredient in the
potato salad that makes you crave it...
...beyond what's reasonable
for something like that.
I'm, like, two, three forkfuls away
from the final piece of the puzzle...
...and then this monkey's off my back.
- Why...
...you know, in the world, did you
tell me what you just did?
I was ordered to by the president.
- He told you to talk to me?
- He told me to contact a lawyer.
Commander, Jordan Kendall, please.
First, that's a nice picture of you.
Sometimes these pictures
aren't that nice.
But look at that smile.
You could light up Chicago.
- You have this at the push of a button?
- No.
You give these guys some notice,
they can put on a show.
Second page, please.
Maxwell School of Diplomacy
and International Relations.
Associate counsel,
U.S. Delegation to the United Nations.
General counsel,
U.S. Delegation to the United Nations.
General counsel for the United Nations.
You found out you can buy stuff
with money.
Page three, please.
Partner, Whitcom, Wiley, Hawking,
Harrison and Kendall.
Was there a Burt Kendall?
Is his portrait hanging...
...in the partners' dining room?
- No.
- They're talking about you, right?
- Wasn't my idea to add my name.
Raise the profile
of the international law department.
A specialty in international law,
you say. Interesting.
Have you experienced dealing in matters
that receive wide media coverage?
- Let's take a trip to page four.
- You have a good time doing this, right?
You don't even know.
Orlando Ruiz...
...of the 101-mile-an-hour fastball
and Cuban citizenship.
Richard White of Lackland Chemical
and wrongful death...
I do not have experience with what
you're talking about. I don't have...
...experience with what
you're talking about.
Nobody does.
We're talking about
we killed Shareef.
We put 14 bullets in his chest
on an airstrip in Bermuda.
It's helpful to start
saying it out loud.
-I'm sorry, Leo?
- Yeah.
There's a message here from Harold
Harrison saying there's about to be...
... a decision from district court.
It's not what you think.
Come down here and show
Miss Kendall out. Excuse me.
Donna?
Josh?
- Josh?
- Yes? I have to talk to you.
- I have to talk to you.
- Me first.
- Why's that?
- It's important.
- Okay.
- Go ahead.
- You go.
- I'm perfectly fine waiting.
- I have the patience of an adult.
- 20 seconds.
Came to me in my sleep.
The paper was there when I got home.
Page two of the business section,
there's an article about Redstar...
...and the $35 million retention bonus
they gave to...
- I can't remember his name.
- Wadkins.
So we all know that CEOs get
bonuses that workers don't...
...but in the sixth graph
they talk about Congress ending...
...deductibility of salaries
over a million...
...and that the measure excluded items
the IRS deemed incentive-based.
In other words, the bonuses
are tax-deductible. In other words...
...Wadkins gets 35 million
for crashing the company...
...and the company gets a deduction.
Toby, college costs...
...investment in the future workforce,
in innovation, in the ideas economy...
...in crime reduction,
isn't that a better use of capital...
...than writing off the bonuses?
The guy last night in the bar...
...Matt Kelley...
...the one who was taking
his daughter to visit colleges...
...he said it needs to be
just a little easier.
Not a lot easier, a little. Toby,
every nickel spent on college tuition...
...should be 100 percent
tax-deductible.
Not capped and indexed and bracketed.
Every nickel, 100 percent.
What?
That's exactly what
I was gonna tell you.
No, it wasn't.
Exactly.
You're saying that now
just to make it seem...
- I'm gonna make some time with Leo.
- And figure out how to pay for it.
- Good.
- Good.
- Hello.
- Hey.
- Did you sleep all right?
- I did, but then I read this thing and...
- How you doing?
- Good.
What's on for tonight?
He'll meet with the state party chair.
Say energizing things.
- We in danger of losing Massachusetts?
- No.
- Why am I doing this?
- Because.
- I can't just go to the event?
- No.
- Why?
- Everybody's going to the campaign...
...and we spent 20 hours
getting out of Indiana.
- Who's at Rock the Vote?
- Aimee Mann, Barenaked Ladies...
...Chrissie Hynde,
Sixpence None the Richer...
...Diamondback Whale,
Next Big Thing...
...the Cruel Shoes
and Single-Cell Paramecium.
You've been practicing
for when I asked, right?
- Yes.
- And you made up the Cruel Shoes.
- No, Single-Cell Paramecium.
- Okay.
The motorcade. We're here!
- Would you stop?
- We're here!
You know, everybody's
really over that now.
Admiral Scott,
your expedition's returned.
Look at you,
Don Quixote de la Mancha.
- Don Quixote wasn't an explorer.
- No, but he rode around on a horse.
- You sleep?
- I did better.
Keep it to yourself. I need you to
weigh in on Ritchie and Title IX.
- Yeah, I saw that. I wrote a memo.
- Thank you.
Toby and I are working on tuition
that would be one...
- Josh.
- They're back.
- They are?
- Yeah.
- They being funny?
- It's over.
- Barnum, Bailey and their sister, Sue.
- They're almost over it.
We wanna talk to you about an issue
that should be in the campaign.
You know that district court
is ruling on Sullivan?
- V. Commission on Presidential Debates?
- Yeah.
- They're never gonna rule for him.
- Sullivan?
Yeah, never gonna rule for him.
Suit gets brought all the time.
I wouldn't be concerned,
but Justice Wingding heard the case.
- Wengland? He's not so crazy.
- Yeah?
- Hey.
- We're back. We're never leaving again.
- Your mother and I were worried.
- Me too.
Fellas?
Tell him not to worry
about the district court.
I told him.
They're not ruling for Sullivan.
- He's worried because it's Wengland.
- He's not that crazy.
I'm not that comfortable
with a federal judge...
...being even a little bit crazy.
- I'm going back to my office.
The speech to the teachers this morning?
24 years in professional politics...
...I have never seen anything like it.
You would have been proud.
- We're gonna win this election.
- I do know.
- Leo?
- They ruled for Sullivan.
- They ruled for Sullivan?
- Yeah.
C.J., when you guys vet your judicial
candidates, do you go so far as...
...to meet and speak with them?
- Can I see a copy of the decision?
"The commission, a tax-exempt entity,
is legally precluded...
...from partisan politics of any kind.
The 15 percent rule...
...benefiting two major parties is
partisan politics of the worst kind.
Regulatory duopoly, democracy by
favoristic fiat, a bureaucratic junta...
- Yes.
...that's prohibited under federal law."
There's no way"favoristic" is a word.
We agree with you but don't
think it's grounds for appeal.
- We won't have to search high and low.
- This means what I think?
No one can be excluded
from the debates.
You can be excluded,
but the bar is set much...
The Libertarian Party, Natural Law,
Right to Life, Right to Left.
Republicans we're gonna
probably let in.
The appeals process is
gonna take too long.
We're gonna have to go
to the Supreme Court. Sam...
...they can stay the effect
in advance of appeal, right?
- Yeah.
- You gotta get Ritchie's people...
...to join us in the motion.
- Oh, yeah.
All right.
- Sam?
- Yeah?
I had a thought before,
and Toby claims...
...to have had the same thought.
- I showed you DNA evidence...
When Congress put the million-dollar
cap on deducting salary...
...they left a loophole
for incentive-based bonuses.
Yeah. Are not all bonuses
incentive-based?
Are there any bonuses you get just
automatically? Isn't that called salary?
Which is also incentive-based, by the
way. People wouldn't work without one.
- Sam.
- Come back to the pack?
Why isn't college tuition
100 percent tax-deductible?
Why do flammable and inflammable
mean the same thing?
What if we capped it at 80,000?
- You're really talking about this?
- Yes.
Pay for it by closing
the loophole for bonuses?
Nobody's talked to OMB,
but I think it costs 50 billion.
Closing the loophole is
about 35 billion, am I close?
- Yeah, and 15 billion's getable through...
- Yosh?
- She's talking to me, right?
- Yeah.
- I'm reading your memo.
- Memo?
- Machismo manifesto.
- Title IX?
- Oh, yeah.
- Bruno asked me to weigh in.
Can't imagine why he called on you.
I was asked, as a campaign issue,
if we should reexamine Title IX...
...which is a wedge...
...with male voters in Ohio,
Michigan and North Carolina.
- So are a lot of things.
- There's something fair but dumb...
...about a fifty-fifty split...
...when more men are interested
in sports than women.
And don't cite the WNBA and soccer.
More men are interested
in sports than women.
We don't need a study to tell us that,
but if we did...
...there's about 493 of them.
Will you talk to someone
in Stackhouse's camp?
- About the Sullivan decision?
- Should make sure.
Court's gonna stay the judgment. But if
not, Stackhouse'll pass on the debate.
He's not out to kill.
He wants to keep him honest.
Make a courtesy call...
...so we're not taking him for granted.
- I'll call Stackhouse.
Since Title IX, women's participation
in sport has increased 800 percent.
- That's not a typo. It worked.
- Okay.
- Hello.
- Yes.
- Okay, how was your day so far?
- Very exciting.
- You had your security briefing?
- Yes.
I'd like to go through
your answers on the SF-86.
- Sure.
- Three years ago you were asked:
"Have you ever been an officer,
member or made a contribution...
...to an organization dedicated to the
violent overthrow of the government?"
- You answered yes.
- Yes.
- You answered yes.
- I see where you're going with this.
- Do you?
- I do.
While we respect your right
to overthrow...
...we don't respect your right to do it
violently, nor from inside the Oval Office.
I worked in Personnel
when I answered that.
I did it to demonstrate
a problem with the form.
If the FBI wants people to admit
to extremist tendencies...
...they've got to tailor
a more subtle question.
Like,"Have you ever participated
in organizations...
...that seek radical solutions
to egregious social problems?"
- I've had some experience with this.
- So has the FBI.
Is this gonna screw me up?
Not this probably as much as when
you suggested killing the president.
- I did not.
- Yeah, you did.
No, sir.
"Let's stick arsenic
in President Bartlet's water...
...and see if he delegates responsibility
to World Bank then."
Where it says"arsenic," that should read
"Schweppes Bitter Lemon."
- I don't know how that...
- Debbie.
Thirty-five million people in Bangladesh
were drinking contaminated water.
The White House
said they supported...
...World Bank's efforts to address it...
...but made no move to intervene
independently. I wrote a letter.
- The FBI read it as a threat.
- It wasn't.
- Don't be ridiculous.
- I'm not being ridiculous, Debbie.
I was, however, 4 feet away from him
when the guns started firing.
I know. I apologize.
Who can I talk to?
I want this job, Charlie.
I didn't before, and I do now.
Who can I talk to?
Let me find out.
- What else?
- It's making rounds...
...Governor Ritchie called
the chancellor.
- What's wrong?
- He's angling for...
...an invitation to the memorial.
- He wants to speak.
- For the love of Mike.
Chancellor was with us in lowa.
The Ritchie people were saying...
...allowing you to be
national healer-in-chief...
Win or lose on the 5th,
I'm the president right now, right?
Yeah, I'm almost sure.
Six of the girls were
exactly Zoey's age.
Tell the chancellor's office if it'll make
his life easier, I'll sit in row 19.
You keep out the press. This has to be
about students and families.
Ritchie and I are gonna have
to summon humanity...
...to keep it from being a political event.
- Yes.
Good afternoon, Mr. President.
- Claudia Jean.
- Sailor.
- In the Oval Office you've really...
- No.
Thank you, Mr. President.
How'd you do with Jordan?
She's a little wary, but she might
be willing to go out again.
- But you meant the other problem.
- Yeah.
- She's a little wary.
- Yeah.
She's gone to her office, then going
home for the day. She's gonna think.
All right. In the meantime, what do we
have by way of stalling tactics?
- A misinformation campaign.
- We ought to be good at that.
Sir, State feels Shareef was
never comfortable...
...with the sultan's friendly
relationship with the West.
State thinks he had a friendly
relationship with the West.
The one-eyed man is king
in a world of... Whatever.
We leak that Shareef used his U.S. trip
as an opportunity to fly to Libya.
Shareef is now alive and well
and living in Libya?
And planning to overthrow his brother
and install a fundamentalist regime.
All right. Come back and tell
me how we do it.
Yes, sir.
Blind men.
The one-eyed man is king
in a world of blind men.
Thank you, Mr. President.
- Special Agent Casper?
- Yes, please.
- Good afternoon.
- What do you know?
We say the manuscript was credible.
We ran a search using more
of the unique rhetoric or catch phrases.
We found a match. A lot was lifted off
the website of a separatist group...
...called the Liberation Cause.
A splinter of the Patriot Brotherhood.
The Internet has been
a phenomenal tool for hate groups.
You should know we're working
on some leads.
Don't pipe bombs usually kill
just two or three people?
- Yes, sir.
- How was it so many yesterday?
The bombs were set off indoors, sir.
There was a huge fire.
- Anything else, sir?
- No, thanks.
Thank you, Mr. President.
Ten of those things under
the bleachers at a basketball game?
- They've got good leads.
- Okay.
Thank you, Mr. President.
Charlie?
- Yes, sir.
- In ascending order of age...
...get my daughters
on the phone, please.
- Yes, sir.
- Thank you.
I just tried Stackhouse again.
He hasn't returned?
- Stackhouse is gonna be fine.
- I've called twice.
At 55,000.
Matt Kelley's in the 27.5
percent bracket.
Assume he takes
the standard deductions.
Let's forget mortgage payments.
- What's his tax liability?
- 13,300.
Tuition at Notre Dame is 25,850.
Let's throw in books,
room and board and it's $34,000.
Saying books are tax-deductible too,
right?
Beer should be tax-deductible,
but we'll live to fight another day.
So with one kid in college...
...Matt Kelley's tax liability just
dropped from 13,300 to 3800?
If we get this done,
it'll be a good day's work.
Let's take it to C.J. when she gets off.
Barenaked Ladies, helping out in the
delivery room of American democracy...
...the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.
Twenty-five years ago,
half of all 18- to 24-year-olds voted.
Today it's 25 percent.
18- to 24-year-olds represent
33 percent of the population...
...but only account
for 7 percent of voters.
Government isn't about you?
How many of you have
student loans to pay?
How many have credit card debt?
How many want clean air and
clean water and civil liberties?
How many want jobs?
How many want kids? How many want
their kids to go to good schools...
...and walk on safe streets?
Decisions are made by those who
show up. You gotta rock the vote!
- What's going on?
- Casper's got something.
Mr. President, three hours ago, sheriff's
deputies in Johnson County, lowa...
...were tipped off
that several men in their 20s...
...bought all the pseudoephedrine
they could get their hands on.
Three stores they went to
were owned by the same man.
- Allergy medicine?
- That, with tractor starter fluid...
...strained through a coffee filter,
is meth.
Tractor starter fluid doesn't kill you?
No, it'll kill you.
First you'll get pretty high.
The sheriff's deputies were shot
at from the house.
These might be our guys?
The address and name of occupants
match a couple names...
...we've linked to Patriot Brotherhood.
We have reason to believe
they're connected to KSU?
They're telling us they are.
They're also telling us they have
MAC-10s, MP5s and CAR15s.
- Are there kids inside?
- Yes, sir.
Let's get the director
and the attorney general.
We only go in on my order, okay?
lt'll be my order.
Yes, sir.
You just knew it was gonna
end up like this.
- Good evening, Mr. President.
- Allergy medicine and tractor fluid...
...we're getting high on now.
- All right. Getting strippers?
- How do we do it?
- Langley manufactures documents...
...photographs, audio messages,
even a body double if necessary.
- Is this gonna get ridiculous?
- Absolutely.
We make sure agents in Iraq, Syria
and Iran get a whiff of the story...
...and word inside and outside
the palace spreads.
- We'll see it on Aljazeera?
- If we do our jobs.
No disinformation to U.S. press, right?
We don't give disinformation
to American press.
- Unless it's about my medical history?
- Yes, sir.
- All right, let's go.
- Thank you, Mr. President.
All this posturing is a preamble
to something.
You ready to say hello?
Why not?
- Hey, Jordan.
- Good evening, Mr. President.
- What do you think?
- I'm sorry, sir?
What do you think?
- I don't know.
- Yeah.
I have to tell you, I'm very
uncomfortable knowing what I know.
That makes three of us.
- I haven't had any sort of time...
- Take all the time you want.
You done yet?
You understand, domestically...
...you're looking at possible injury
to separation of powers...
...internationally,
a possible war crimes charge.
At the very least...
...we'd be wading up to our necks
into unprecedented legal waters...
...exposing the presidency
to culpability undreamed of...
...by creators of the U.N.
and the U.S. Constitution.
That makes us groundbreaking,
doesn't it?
Mr. President, I've defended
guilty people before...
...but never had a client that was
willing to admit the crime...
...but didn't expect to go to trial.
- More groundbreaking.
Due respect, Mr. President,
this isn't funny.
Due respect, Ms. Kendall...
...I'm the last person to whom
that needs to be pointed out.
And Article 51 of the United Nations
Charter says every nation...
...has the right to wage war
to defend itself.
The article's incumbent
on wars being declared.
Wars don't work like that anymore.
Laws work like that.
Forty-four people are dead in lowa
and most of them college kids.
Shareef has murdered Americans
in uniform, Americans out of uniform.
He tried to blow up
the Golden Gate Bridge.
I didn't have time to file
an amicus brief.
How can justice served in secret
be justice?
I don't know. I'm working on that.
Anyway, at the moment
I'm having trouble...
...foreseeing the exact legal
consequences on the international stage.
Why?
Because most of international law
doesn't exist yet.
Well, that's what I was
hoping you'd say.
I want there to be justice.
That's why I'm talking to a lawyer.
Anyway, I just came in to say hello.
Charlie?
- Yes, sir.
- I'm heading back to the residence.
- Do you have a moment for Debbie?
- Oh, God.
Yeah.
- Good evening, Mr. President.
- Arsenic?
You gotta give me points for...
Nothing. Nothing you can give me
points for. I don't get any points.
- No.
- I sincerely apologize.
It was a higher environmental
cancer risk than Chernobyl.
We spend 20 million a year on
strategic milk reserve. We can't toss...
Why couldn't you just stop
with"I sincerely apologize"?
- I should have. I see that now...
- Your argument is fakakta, by the way.
The World Bank has a $ 17 billion budget
contributed by 100...
Doesn't matter, don't worry.
-"Don't worry about it."
- Yeah.
- I don't know what that means.
- You can keep the job.
Great.
Why?
Why? Because you knock
me out, that's why.
How did I do that?
"Let's stick some arsenic
in President Bartlet's drinking water...
...and see if he delegates responsibility
to the World Bank then."
"President Bartlet."
You referred to me and to the office
with respect. You're a class act.
- Thank you, Mr. President.
- Wack job.
Yes, sir.
It's not the fault of women's sports,
it's the fault of football.
- It's the fault of football?
- Yeah.
Football pays for the other sports.
There are 53 players on an NFL team.
The University of Colorado has 130,
85 of whom are on full scholarship.
I'm for backups and substitutes,
but can't the guy who's fourth...
...on the depth chart at right linebacker
also be fourth at left linebacker?
If a college football team cut
back to 70 scholarships...
...they'd be three deep at
every position...
...and have a fourth-string punter
and place-kicker.
Fifteen scholarships.
That's a wrestling team.
Excuse me.
Hey.
- What are you doing up here?
- I do some work for these guys.
- It's a great event.
- Yeah.
- You look good.
- Yeah?
No, you look tired.
You look good.
Yes, I know.
Hey, did you...? I heard you got
left behind by the motorcade.
Yeah. It took us 20 hours to get out
of Indiana. You should've been with us.
- You would've had fun.
- I would've.
I don't know what to say
about the pipe bombing.
There's nothing to say.
- I miss you.
- I was trying to call Stackhouse...
- I'm sorry?
- What did you say?
- You said you called Howard?
- I haven't heard back.
- What'd you say?
- Calling about Sullivan?
They're not returning my call.
I shouldn't be nervous, right?
- No, you should be.
- Did you say you missed me?
- Josh...
- I should be nervous?
- We're considering...
-"We"?
Stackhouse.
The district court says Howard
Stackhouse can appear in the debates.
Is Stackhouse under
new management?
It's been... For debate prep.
It's been offered to me.
This is not the deal
we made with them.
In one week, he is supposed
to endorse the president.
- He never thought he'd get in.
- He's not!
So he's moving you
from consultant to...
I don't know, it's all happening fast.
It's just today.
I'm considering it.
It wasn't the deal we had.
I miss you.
You gotta ask yourself...
...multimillion-dollar bonuses are
deductible, not tuition?
Corporations donate to the members
of tax-writing committees.
I didn't mean you really had to ask.
I knew you knew the answer.
Ritchie's already coming after us
for politicizing the budget.
Plus, Leo hates to make
policy through tax code...
...because we can't do reform
without unraveling it.
Was that Amy?
Yeah. If the Sullivan decision's upheld...
...Stackhouse wants into the debate.
He's not gonna endorse the president.
- Had to see that coming.
- I'm calling Bruno.
Court's gonna stay the effect.
He won't be in the debate.
Josh'll take care of it.
- Anyway, college tuitions...
- Another reason not to do it...
There are a lot of reasons not to do it.
But...
...we met a guy last night
at an airport hotel in the bar.
His daughter was upstairs in the room.
They'd been looking at colleges.
He makes $55,000 a year.
His mutual fund got beat up
yesterday on Wall Street.
He was so happy to be taking
his daughter to colleges.
He came downstairs to the bar.
He didn't want her to
see that he didn't know...
...how he was gonna pay for it.
There are a lot of reasons not to do it.
But the president said,
"There are two kinds of politicians..."
"Ones who try to say yes
and ones who try to say no."
We're gonna throw these guys
out because they wanna say no.
If we're gonna get thrown out,
I don't want it to be for that.
Let's take it to Leo.
Hello?
- Matt? Matt?
- Yeah?
It's for you.
A man named Toby Ziegler.
You know him?
Yeah.
- Hello?
- Matt?
It's me, from last night.
We got home fine, thanks.
Now, let me tell you what
we're working on.
It's fun.
I like you. I've been trying
to get it in under the wire.
Two pipe bombs were set off
inside the Geiger Indoor Arena.
- Forty-four people were...
- Killed at Kennison State University.
- I'm Matt Kelley.
- I'm Toby Ziegler.
I work at the White House.
You have a minute to talk?
We have reason to believe
in the next 48 hours...
...the Qumari rescue team
will announce...
...they recovered
a military-issue Israeli parachute.
- What do we do?
- We're in the Situation Room.
Let's go.
Ten-hut.
Nancy's in her office. There are
some calls I asked her to make.
I told the president
about the parachute.
Tommy, do they make parachutes
in Israel? They're saying it's...
...an Israeli-made parachute.
- They make them. They're good ones.
- Listen, I know we're here...
...for a serious purpose,
for a sober purpose...
...but I wanted to say I've never been
part of a street gang before.
That's basically what we are. A pretty
well-financed one, but anyway...
...I wanted to say it feels good...
...and when we're done with this
meeting we should go out and get girls...
...maybe knock over a fruit stand
or something.
- Okay.
- We're gonna need to learn...
...to sing and dance.
The information's basically coming
from the NSC operations unit.
A cell phone intercept
between the sultan and Habib.
"The Butcher of Kafr will have
no choice but to resign."
We're sure he's talking about Israel?
"The Butcher of Kafr will have
no choice but to resign."
- Well, B movie dialogue aside...
- Toby and Josh are back.
Toby Ziegler and Josh Lyman missed
the motorcade in Indiana yesterday.
It's taken them 20 hours
to get home.
- They're walking into D.C. right now.
- Doesn't matter.
Assume the sultan goes
to Aljazeera...
...and announces Shareef's
plane didn't go down accidentally...
...that it was brought down
by the Israelis. What are the options?
- Do nothing.
- Which we can't do.
Call Qumar's bluff,
demand they produce proof.
- We can't call their bluff.
- Why?
They're calling our bluff. When they
produce manufactured proof...
...we'd have to say,
"You manufactured that."
They'd say,"How do you know?"
- So the next option is, we defend Israel.
- You're not curious why...
...they're walking into D.C.?
- No.
What happens if Hezbollah
launches a missile at Israel?
- Israel attacks Lebanon...
-"Walking into D.C. from where?"...
...you gotta ask yourself.
- You wanna hunker down?
Just for that, when it comes time
to give out gang nicknames...
...you're gonna be... I don't know, but
you're not gonna have a good nickname.
Ellie had a teacher named Mr. Pordy
who had no interest in nuance.
He asked why there's always
conflict in the Middle East.
Ellie raised her hand and said,
"It's a centuries-old religious conflict...
...involving land and suspicion
and culture."
"Wrong," Mr. Pordy said.
"It's because it's incredibly hot
and there's no water."
I'm hunkered down. I'm going to East
Lansing. We're gonna need a lawyer.
There are some 120 news outlets...
...covering the movements
of the president.
Only the best ride with me. The rest...
...consigned to the zoo plane
with no moist towelettes.
This is why I'm so disappointed.
With the exceptions of Terry,
Mike, Mark and Rachel...
...you all misspelled Muhziriabolah.
- I'm on television.
It was misspelled in your copy,
I could tell.
Is there an advance on the speech
to the teachers?
An advance copy of text?
You must be new.
What's he going to say about
the pipe bombing?
He's obviously gonna talk about it,
but I don't know.
The filing center's behind the press riser.
You'll have time...
...while the president meets
with the executive board.
- Open to the pool?
- Pool photos.
He's spoken
to the university president?
He's spoken to Chancellor Bayless.
The president's accepted an invitation
to speak at the memorial...
...on the KSU campus Saturday.
- Anything from the FBI?
- I'm referring those questions...
...to Zane Littleton. I do wanna
underline their initial finding:
It doesn't appear to be
foreign terrorism.
- And that's based on...?
- The nature of the explosive. Okay, then.
To Battle Creek Air National Guard Base
is an hour, 45 minutes.
It's 45 minutes to Michigan State,
where the president will address...
...the delegates from the NEA
for 25 minutes.
Josh and Toby aren't on the plane.
They still at a gas station in Unionville?
No, they made it home.
Their mothers are relieved.
They've been given
a four-hour vacation. Anything else?
M-U-H-Z-I-R-I-A-B-O-L-A-H.
He might get asked about Title IX.
- Why?
- Ritchie mentioned yesterday...
...it's worth reexamine,
so they'll ask him for a reaction.
Talk to Josh for his first thoughts.
- What are yours?
- On Title IX?
- I have none. I'm indifferent.
- You can't be indifferent.
I have to be. I have only so much RAM
in my head. I have to prioritize.
I have to throw some things
overboard...
...so I've chosen not to care whether
or not Purdue has a fencing team.
- Sam.
- Bruno.
This is Debbie Fiderer,
the president's new exec.
Bruno Gianelli, general chairman,
Committee to Re-elect.
- Hello.
- Hi.
The D.C. district court is ruling
today on a debate case.
- Know anything?
- I think it's...
...Sullivan v. Commission
on Presidential Debates.
ABC, CBS, NBC News, et al.
This is the third-party rule
15 percent?
- It happens every four years.
- All right.
There are 500 citizen lawsuits
trying to get their guy in the debate.
- It never goes anywhere.
- All right.
Fiderer's a funny name.
It's not ha-ha funny.
It's just, you know...
Okay.
Stay on Sullivan v. Commission
on Presidential Debates.
- Yeah.
- It's a guy suing...
...so Stackhouse can be
in the debate.
I thought Stackhouse was
supposed to endorse the president.
- He is. He will.
- Why would he be in the debate?
Presumably he's
endorsing the president...
...because he knew he
wouldn't be in the debate...
- How bad would it be?
- It'd be bad.
Which is why, even if he was allowed in,
he wouldn't do it.
Stackhouse isn't trying to hurt the
president. But let's get back to you.
Josh Lyman's gonna give you
a security and ethics briefing.
Charlie will tell you some things.
You have provisional clearance
pending successful completion...
...of the SF-86 and a GC-1
background check.
- What is it?
- It's a questionnaire.
Extensive questions on your past...
...personal, professional, financial,
pharmaceutical...
Oh, no, I know the form.
- What is a GC-1?
- They contact family members...
...and friends and neighbors
and former neighbors to corroborate.
This is fine, but I've worked
at the White House before.
At my last job, the background
check wasn't this extensive...
You have a button on your phone.
A crash button.
A crash button which will bring
the Secret Service, turning your office...
...into a live microphone which'll be
broadcast all over the building.
You push it if someone's trying
to take the Oval Office.
This isn't your last job.
- Sam, we need you in here.
- Excuse me.
Bruno thinks we dump
the whole thing.
I think 44 people are dead and we
can't give a speech on education.
It's gonna look opportunistic if we talk
about lowa at a campaign event.
- Plus we're using the teachers like props.
- He's gotta mention it, though.
- Yeah, he can't not mention it.
- There are dead children...
...and you segue to what?
- I don't know.
- I don't know either.
- What are your feelings, sir?
I don't know, it's a 7-10 split.
- Could you work on it a while?
- Yes, sir.
I'm gonna call Leo. I'll be in my office.
Let her on in, Becky.
- Good morning.
- Hello.
You look sensational in
your Gabriella-something thing there.
- Thank you.
-"Cloak and dagger"?
- Look.
-"Cloak and dagger"?
- It was one sentence in a two-page note.
- You sent me a note?
I was asked here on business,
which I usually conduct at my office.
I was gonna come there.
Then I thought, between the lobby...
...the elevator, the reception area, the
paralegals area, the associates area...
...and the coffee room
of a Washington, D.C., law firm...
...there was a chance someone might
recognize the White House chief of staff.
All I meant by"cloak and dagger" is
I'm not cut out for security meetings...
...the secret this
and back-channel ambassadors.
It's like you're in the Mafia.
It may be like I'm in the Mafia,
but I'm not. I work for the good guys.
It was one sentence.
The problem was, you were never
at the other end of the phone.
That's an entirely different kettle of
beans, and we can have that discussion.
History's shown if you wait
and tell it to a divorce lawyer...
...you can have half my stuff.
- I don't want it.
Some of it's good stuff.
- Where are we going?
- Someplace quiet where we can talk.
The White House Situation Room.
We just call it that.
Am I even allowed to be in here?
Look at this stuff.
It's a map of North America.
What are you worried about?
- Hey, where are you from?
- I'm from Lincoln, Nebraska.
Lieutenant, can you throw an Opal Drill
up on the wall? Lincoln, Nebraska.
What's it doing?
It's showing a first-strike nuclear attack
from Beijing and North Korea.
Hey, look at that, Lincoln survives
the first of the... No, not so much.
Leo?
First of all...
...we have to go beyond the normal
attorney-client privilege. This is sensitive.
There are no degrees
of attorney-client privilege.
No, I'm talking about state secrets
with highest-security classification.
If you told anyone, you'd be convicted
of treason and sent to prison.
- No, I wouldn't.
- No, it's nothing like treason.
- But if you told anyone, it'd be bad.
- What?
Do you remember last May...
...that a private plane carrying Qumari
Defense Minister Abdul Shareef...
...went down near Bermuda
and all passengers...
...including Shareef, were dead?
- No.
- No?
- No.
Okay. Well, it happened.
Qumar has been investigating
the accident...
...because they believe there
was foul play.
And we believe... In fact, we know
they're trying to frame Israel.
- They're producing phony evidence.
- How do you know?
I'm sorry.
- You said,"We know." How?
- Because we do.
- Why isn't it possible for Israel to...?
- Jordan...
...we know any evidence of
assassination is manufactured.
- How?
- Because we destroyed all the evidence.
Mr. McGarry, I have
the president on your line.
Yes, sir.
- How's it going?
- Fine.
- Is she there?
- Yeah.
- What do you know?
- Casper's here. He's gonna talk to me.
- I'll send him to you next, all right?
- Thank you.
- What are you about to say?
- I don't know. I have about two minutes.
Okay.
"The bullying nature of the intrusive
and invasive government...
...of the U.S. has to be rendered quickly
and decisively a wake-up call, and this..."
- What do you think of this?
- He's not Tom Paine.
- No.
- It's rhetoric common to separatists.
They're telling us that English
is his first language.
But he's not very well educated.
- Is it credible?
- Yes, sir.
- You think it was sent by the bomber?
- Or his group.
- We think there's a group.
- We don't know.
- Now, you've been told...
- The end of the letter promises more.
Yes, sir. In the next 48 hours.
Obviously, we expected that.
It's what they always say.
Unless what?
That's where I'm confused.
He didn't make any demands, sir.
This letter isn't a threat.
It's an announcement.
All right, what do you have?
"We will catch the perpetrators, we will
track them down, we'll punish them"...
...along those lines.
- It's too early for Rocky.
- Plus, once you catch a perpetrator...
...you don't need to track him down.
- He likes the rhythm.
- It was his line.
- It's a dummy phrase. It's a placeholder.
I think I'm just gonna talk a little bit.
-"Joy cometh in the morning," sir.
- Thank you.
The president of the United States.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
"Joy cometh in the morning,"
Scripture tells us. I hope so.
I don't know if life would be
worth living if it didn't.
And I don't yet know who set
off the bomb at Kennison State.
I don't know if it's one person or 10
and I don't know what they want.
All I know for sure,
all I know for certain...
...is that they weren't born
wanting to do this.
There's evil in the world. There'll always
be. We can't do anything about that.
But there's violence in our schools...
...too much mayhem in our culture,
and we can do something about that.
There's not enough character,
discipline, depth in our classrooms.
There aren't enough teachers
in our classrooms.
There isn't nearly enough,
not nearly enough...
...not nearly enough money
in our classrooms.
And we can do something
about that.
We're not doing nearly enough...
...not nearly enough,
to teach our children well.
And we can do better and we must
do better and we will do better.
And we will start this moment today.
They weren't born wanting to do this.
I've been thinking about
an egg salad sandwich on a kaiser roll.
If it's Milos making the potato salad,
then potato salad.
If it's not, then a potato
in any other form will be fine.
Why did you tell me that?
I didn't. I was talking to Margaret.
- I know that.
-She knows that, sir. She meant...
He's got a secret ingredient in the
potato salad that makes you crave it...
...beyond what's reasonable
for something like that.
I'm, like, two, three forkfuls away
from the final piece of the puzzle...
...and then this monkey's off my back.
- Why...
...you know, in the world, did you
tell me what you just did?
I was ordered to by the president.
- He told you to talk to me?
- He told me to contact a lawyer.
Commander, Jordan Kendall, please.
First, that's a nice picture of you.
Sometimes these pictures
aren't that nice.
But look at that smile.
You could light up Chicago.
- You have this at the push of a button?
- No.
You give these guys some notice,
they can put on a show.
Second page, please.
Maxwell School of Diplomacy
and International Relations.
Associate counsel,
U.S. Delegation to the United Nations.
General counsel,
U.S. Delegation to the United Nations.
General counsel for the United Nations.
You found out you can buy stuff
with money.
Page three, please.
Partner, Whitcom, Wiley, Hawking,
Harrison and Kendall.
Was there a Burt Kendall?
Is his portrait hanging...
...in the partners' dining room?
- No.
- They're talking about you, right?
- Wasn't my idea to add my name.
Raise the profile
of the international law department.
A specialty in international law,
you say. Interesting.
Have you experienced dealing in matters
that receive wide media coverage?
- Let's take a trip to page four.
- You have a good time doing this, right?
You don't even know.
Orlando Ruiz...
...of the 101-mile-an-hour fastball
and Cuban citizenship.
Richard White of Lackland Chemical
and wrongful death...
I do not have experience with what
you're talking about. I don't have...
...experience with what
you're talking about.
Nobody does.
We're talking about
we killed Shareef.
We put 14 bullets in his chest
on an airstrip in Bermuda.
It's helpful to start
saying it out loud.
-I'm sorry, Leo?
- Yeah.
There's a message here from Harold
Harrison saying there's about to be...
... a decision from district court.
It's not what you think.
Come down here and show
Miss Kendall out. Excuse me.
Donna?
Josh?
- Josh?
- Yes? I have to talk to you.
- I have to talk to you.
- Me first.
- Why's that?
- It's important.
- Okay.
- Go ahead.
- You go.
- I'm perfectly fine waiting.
- I have the patience of an adult.
- 20 seconds.
Came to me in my sleep.
The paper was there when I got home.
Page two of the business section,
there's an article about Redstar...
...and the $35 million retention bonus
they gave to...
- I can't remember his name.
- Wadkins.
So we all know that CEOs get
bonuses that workers don't...
...but in the sixth graph
they talk about Congress ending...
...deductibility of salaries
over a million...
...and that the measure excluded items
the IRS deemed incentive-based.
In other words, the bonuses
are tax-deductible. In other words...
...Wadkins gets 35 million
for crashing the company...
...and the company gets a deduction.
Toby, college costs...
...investment in the future workforce,
in innovation, in the ideas economy...
...in crime reduction,
isn't that a better use of capital...
...than writing off the bonuses?
The guy last night in the bar...
...Matt Kelley...
...the one who was taking
his daughter to visit colleges...
...he said it needs to be
just a little easier.
Not a lot easier, a little. Toby,
every nickel spent on college tuition...
...should be 100 percent
tax-deductible.
Not capped and indexed and bracketed.
Every nickel, 100 percent.
What?
That's exactly what
I was gonna tell you.
No, it wasn't.
Exactly.
You're saying that now
just to make it seem...
- I'm gonna make some time with Leo.
- And figure out how to pay for it.
- Good.
- Good.
- Hello.
- Hey.
- Did you sleep all right?
- I did, but then I read this thing and...
- How you doing?
- Good.
What's on for tonight?
He'll meet with the state party chair.
Say energizing things.
- We in danger of losing Massachusetts?
- No.
- Why am I doing this?
- Because.
- I can't just go to the event?
- No.
- Why?
- Everybody's going to the campaign...
...and we spent 20 hours
getting out of Indiana.
- Who's at Rock the Vote?
- Aimee Mann, Barenaked Ladies...
...Chrissie Hynde,
Sixpence None the Richer...
...Diamondback Whale,
Next Big Thing...
...the Cruel Shoes
and Single-Cell Paramecium.
You've been practicing
for when I asked, right?
- Yes.
- And you made up the Cruel Shoes.
- No, Single-Cell Paramecium.
- Okay.
The motorcade. We're here!
- Would you stop?
- We're here!
You know, everybody's
really over that now.
Admiral Scott,
your expedition's returned.
Look at you,
Don Quixote de la Mancha.
- Don Quixote wasn't an explorer.
- No, but he rode around on a horse.
- You sleep?
- I did better.
Keep it to yourself. I need you to
weigh in on Ritchie and Title IX.
- Yeah, I saw that. I wrote a memo.
- Thank you.
Toby and I are working on tuition
that would be one...
- Josh.
- They're back.
- They are?
- Yeah.
- They being funny?
- It's over.
- Barnum, Bailey and their sister, Sue.
- They're almost over it.
We wanna talk to you about an issue
that should be in the campaign.
You know that district court
is ruling on Sullivan?
- V. Commission on Presidential Debates?
- Yeah.
- They're never gonna rule for him.
- Sullivan?
Yeah, never gonna rule for him.
Suit gets brought all the time.
I wouldn't be concerned,
but Justice Wingding heard the case.
- Wengland? He's not so crazy.
- Yeah?
- Hey.
- We're back. We're never leaving again.
- Your mother and I were worried.
- Me too.
Fellas?
Tell him not to worry
about the district court.
I told him.
They're not ruling for Sullivan.
- He's worried because it's Wengland.
- He's not that crazy.
I'm not that comfortable
with a federal judge...
...being even a little bit crazy.
- I'm going back to my office.
The speech to the teachers this morning?
24 years in professional politics...
...I have never seen anything like it.
You would have been proud.
- We're gonna win this election.
- I do know.
- Leo?
- They ruled for Sullivan.
- They ruled for Sullivan?
- Yeah.
C.J., when you guys vet your judicial
candidates, do you go so far as...
...to meet and speak with them?
- Can I see a copy of the decision?
"The commission, a tax-exempt entity,
is legally precluded...
...from partisan politics of any kind.
The 15 percent rule...
...benefiting two major parties is
partisan politics of the worst kind.
Regulatory duopoly, democracy by
favoristic fiat, a bureaucratic junta...
- Yes.
...that's prohibited under federal law."
There's no way"favoristic" is a word.
We agree with you but don't
think it's grounds for appeal.
- We won't have to search high and low.
- This means what I think?
No one can be excluded
from the debates.
You can be excluded,
but the bar is set much...
The Libertarian Party, Natural Law,
Right to Life, Right to Left.
Republicans we're gonna
probably let in.
The appeals process is
gonna take too long.
We're gonna have to go
to the Supreme Court. Sam...
...they can stay the effect
in advance of appeal, right?
- Yeah.
- You gotta get Ritchie's people...
...to join us in the motion.
- Oh, yeah.
All right.
- Sam?
- Yeah?
I had a thought before,
and Toby claims...
...to have had the same thought.
- I showed you DNA evidence...
When Congress put the million-dollar
cap on deducting salary...
...they left a loophole
for incentive-based bonuses.
Yeah. Are not all bonuses
incentive-based?
Are there any bonuses you get just
automatically? Isn't that called salary?
Which is also incentive-based, by the
way. People wouldn't work without one.
- Sam.
- Come back to the pack?
Why isn't college tuition
100 percent tax-deductible?
Why do flammable and inflammable
mean the same thing?
What if we capped it at 80,000?
- You're really talking about this?
- Yes.
Pay for it by closing
the loophole for bonuses?
Nobody's talked to OMB,
but I think it costs 50 billion.
Closing the loophole is
about 35 billion, am I close?
- Yeah, and 15 billion's getable through...
- Yosh?
- She's talking to me, right?
- Yeah.
- I'm reading your memo.
- Memo?
- Machismo manifesto.
- Title IX?
- Oh, yeah.
- Bruno asked me to weigh in.
Can't imagine why he called on you.
I was asked, as a campaign issue,
if we should reexamine Title IX...
...which is a wedge...
...with male voters in Ohio,
Michigan and North Carolina.
- So are a lot of things.
- There's something fair but dumb...
...about a fifty-fifty split...
...when more men are interested
in sports than women.
And don't cite the WNBA and soccer.
More men are interested
in sports than women.
We don't need a study to tell us that,
but if we did...
...there's about 493 of them.
Will you talk to someone
in Stackhouse's camp?
- About the Sullivan decision?
- Should make sure.
Court's gonna stay the judgment. But if
not, Stackhouse'll pass on the debate.
He's not out to kill.
He wants to keep him honest.
Make a courtesy call...
...so we're not taking him for granted.
- I'll call Stackhouse.
Since Title IX, women's participation
in sport has increased 800 percent.
- That's not a typo. It worked.
- Okay.
- Hello.
- Yes.
- Okay, how was your day so far?
- Very exciting.
- You had your security briefing?
- Yes.
I'd like to go through
your answers on the SF-86.
- Sure.
- Three years ago you were asked:
"Have you ever been an officer,
member or made a contribution...
...to an organization dedicated to the
violent overthrow of the government?"
- You answered yes.
- Yes.
- You answered yes.
- I see where you're going with this.
- Do you?
- I do.
While we respect your right
to overthrow...
...we don't respect your right to do it
violently, nor from inside the Oval Office.
I worked in Personnel
when I answered that.
I did it to demonstrate
a problem with the form.
If the FBI wants people to admit
to extremist tendencies...
...they've got to tailor
a more subtle question.
Like,"Have you ever participated
in organizations...
...that seek radical solutions
to egregious social problems?"
- I've had some experience with this.
- So has the FBI.
Is this gonna screw me up?
Not this probably as much as when
you suggested killing the president.
- I did not.
- Yeah, you did.
No, sir.
"Let's stick arsenic
in President Bartlet's water...
...and see if he delegates responsibility
to World Bank then."
Where it says"arsenic," that should read
"Schweppes Bitter Lemon."
- I don't know how that...
- Debbie.
Thirty-five million people in Bangladesh
were drinking contaminated water.
The White House
said they supported...
...World Bank's efforts to address it...
...but made no move to intervene
independently. I wrote a letter.
- The FBI read it as a threat.
- It wasn't.
- Don't be ridiculous.
- I'm not being ridiculous, Debbie.
I was, however, 4 feet away from him
when the guns started firing.
I know. I apologize.
Who can I talk to?
I want this job, Charlie.
I didn't before, and I do now.
Who can I talk to?
Let me find out.
- What else?
- It's making rounds...
...Governor Ritchie called
the chancellor.
- What's wrong?
- He's angling for...
...an invitation to the memorial.
- He wants to speak.
- For the love of Mike.
Chancellor was with us in lowa.
The Ritchie people were saying...
...allowing you to be
national healer-in-chief...
Win or lose on the 5th,
I'm the president right now, right?
Yeah, I'm almost sure.
Six of the girls were
exactly Zoey's age.
Tell the chancellor's office if it'll make
his life easier, I'll sit in row 19.
You keep out the press. This has to be
about students and families.
Ritchie and I are gonna have
to summon humanity...
...to keep it from being a political event.
- Yes.
Good afternoon, Mr. President.
- Claudia Jean.
- Sailor.
- In the Oval Office you've really...
- No.
Thank you, Mr. President.
How'd you do with Jordan?
She's a little wary, but she might
be willing to go out again.
- But you meant the other problem.
- Yeah.
- She's a little wary.
- Yeah.
She's gone to her office, then going
home for the day. She's gonna think.
All right. In the meantime, what do we
have by way of stalling tactics?
- A misinformation campaign.
- We ought to be good at that.
Sir, State feels Shareef was
never comfortable...
...with the sultan's friendly
relationship with the West.
State thinks he had a friendly
relationship with the West.
The one-eyed man is king
in a world of... Whatever.
We leak that Shareef used his U.S. trip
as an opportunity to fly to Libya.
Shareef is now alive and well
and living in Libya?
And planning to overthrow his brother
and install a fundamentalist regime.
All right. Come back and tell
me how we do it.
Yes, sir.
Blind men.
The one-eyed man is king
in a world of blind men.
Thank you, Mr. President.
- Special Agent Casper?
- Yes, please.
- Good afternoon.
- What do you know?
We say the manuscript was credible.
We ran a search using more
of the unique rhetoric or catch phrases.
We found a match. A lot was lifted off
the website of a separatist group...
...called the Liberation Cause.
A splinter of the Patriot Brotherhood.
The Internet has been
a phenomenal tool for hate groups.
You should know we're working
on some leads.
Don't pipe bombs usually kill
just two or three people?
- Yes, sir.
- How was it so many yesterday?
The bombs were set off indoors, sir.
There was a huge fire.
- Anything else, sir?
- No, thanks.
Thank you, Mr. President.
Ten of those things under
the bleachers at a basketball game?
- They've got good leads.
- Okay.
Thank you, Mr. President.
Charlie?
- Yes, sir.
- In ascending order of age...
...get my daughters
on the phone, please.
- Yes, sir.
- Thank you.
I just tried Stackhouse again.
He hasn't returned?
- Stackhouse is gonna be fine.
- I've called twice.
At 55,000.
Matt Kelley's in the 27.5
percent bracket.
Assume he takes
the standard deductions.
Let's forget mortgage payments.
- What's his tax liability?
- 13,300.
Tuition at Notre Dame is 25,850.
Let's throw in books,
room and board and it's $34,000.
Saying books are tax-deductible too,
right?
Beer should be tax-deductible,
but we'll live to fight another day.
So with one kid in college...
...Matt Kelley's tax liability just
dropped from 13,300 to 3800?
If we get this done,
it'll be a good day's work.
Let's take it to C.J. when she gets off.
Barenaked Ladies, helping out in the
delivery room of American democracy...
...the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.
Twenty-five years ago,
half of all 18- to 24-year-olds voted.
Today it's 25 percent.
18- to 24-year-olds represent
33 percent of the population...
...but only account
for 7 percent of voters.
Government isn't about you?
How many of you have
student loans to pay?
How many have credit card debt?
How many want clean air and
clean water and civil liberties?
How many want jobs?
How many want kids? How many want
their kids to go to good schools...
...and walk on safe streets?
Decisions are made by those who
show up. You gotta rock the vote!
- What's going on?
- Casper's got something.
Mr. President, three hours ago, sheriff's
deputies in Johnson County, lowa...
...were tipped off
that several men in their 20s...
...bought all the pseudoephedrine
they could get their hands on.
Three stores they went to
were owned by the same man.
- Allergy medicine?
- That, with tractor starter fluid...
...strained through a coffee filter,
is meth.
Tractor starter fluid doesn't kill you?
No, it'll kill you.
First you'll get pretty high.
The sheriff's deputies were shot
at from the house.
These might be our guys?
The address and name of occupants
match a couple names...
...we've linked to Patriot Brotherhood.
We have reason to believe
they're connected to KSU?
They're telling us they are.
They're also telling us they have
MAC-10s, MP5s and CAR15s.
- Are there kids inside?
- Yes, sir.
Let's get the director
and the attorney general.
We only go in on my order, okay?
lt'll be my order.
Yes, sir.
You just knew it was gonna
end up like this.
- Good evening, Mr. President.
- Allergy medicine and tractor fluid...
...we're getting high on now.
- All right. Getting strippers?
- How do we do it?
- Langley manufactures documents...
...photographs, audio messages,
even a body double if necessary.
- Is this gonna get ridiculous?
- Absolutely.
We make sure agents in Iraq, Syria
and Iran get a whiff of the story...
...and word inside and outside
the palace spreads.
- We'll see it on Aljazeera?
- If we do our jobs.
No disinformation to U.S. press, right?
We don't give disinformation
to American press.
- Unless it's about my medical history?
- Yes, sir.
- All right, let's go.
- Thank you, Mr. President.
All this posturing is a preamble
to something.
You ready to say hello?
Why not?
- Hey, Jordan.
- Good evening, Mr. President.
- What do you think?
- I'm sorry, sir?
What do you think?
- I don't know.
- Yeah.
I have to tell you, I'm very
uncomfortable knowing what I know.
That makes three of us.
- I haven't had any sort of time...
- Take all the time you want.
You done yet?
You understand, domestically...
...you're looking at possible injury
to separation of powers...
...internationally,
a possible war crimes charge.
At the very least...
...we'd be wading up to our necks
into unprecedented legal waters...
...exposing the presidency
to culpability undreamed of...
...by creators of the U.N.
and the U.S. Constitution.
That makes us groundbreaking,
doesn't it?
Mr. President, I've defended
guilty people before...
...but never had a client that was
willing to admit the crime...
...but didn't expect to go to trial.
- More groundbreaking.
Due respect, Mr. President,
this isn't funny.
Due respect, Ms. Kendall...
...I'm the last person to whom
that needs to be pointed out.
And Article 51 of the United Nations
Charter says every nation...
...has the right to wage war
to defend itself.
The article's incumbent
on wars being declared.
Wars don't work like that anymore.
Laws work like that.
Forty-four people are dead in lowa
and most of them college kids.
Shareef has murdered Americans
in uniform, Americans out of uniform.
He tried to blow up
the Golden Gate Bridge.
I didn't have time to file
an amicus brief.
How can justice served in secret
be justice?
I don't know. I'm working on that.
Anyway, at the moment
I'm having trouble...
...foreseeing the exact legal
consequences on the international stage.
Why?
Because most of international law
doesn't exist yet.
Well, that's what I was
hoping you'd say.
I want there to be justice.
That's why I'm talking to a lawyer.
Anyway, I just came in to say hello.
Charlie?
- Yes, sir.
- I'm heading back to the residence.
- Do you have a moment for Debbie?
- Oh, God.
Yeah.
- Good evening, Mr. President.
- Arsenic?
You gotta give me points for...
Nothing. Nothing you can give me
points for. I don't get any points.
- No.
- I sincerely apologize.
It was a higher environmental
cancer risk than Chernobyl.
We spend 20 million a year on
strategic milk reserve. We can't toss...
Why couldn't you just stop
with"I sincerely apologize"?
- I should have. I see that now...
- Your argument is fakakta, by the way.
The World Bank has a $ 17 billion budget
contributed by 100...
Doesn't matter, don't worry.
-"Don't worry about it."
- Yeah.
- I don't know what that means.
- You can keep the job.
Great.
Why?
Why? Because you knock
me out, that's why.
How did I do that?
"Let's stick some arsenic
in President Bartlet's drinking water...
...and see if he delegates responsibility
to the World Bank then."
"President Bartlet."
You referred to me and to the office
with respect. You're a class act.
- Thank you, Mr. President.
- Wack job.
Yes, sir.
It's not the fault of women's sports,
it's the fault of football.
- It's the fault of football?
- Yeah.
Football pays for the other sports.
There are 53 players on an NFL team.
The University of Colorado has 130,
85 of whom are on full scholarship.
I'm for backups and substitutes,
but can't the guy who's fourth...
...on the depth chart at right linebacker
also be fourth at left linebacker?
If a college football team cut
back to 70 scholarships...
...they'd be three deep at
every position...
...and have a fourth-string punter
and place-kicker.
Fifteen scholarships.
That's a wrestling team.
Excuse me.
Hey.
- What are you doing up here?
- I do some work for these guys.
- It's a great event.
- Yeah.
- You look good.
- Yeah?
No, you look tired.
You look good.
Yes, I know.
Hey, did you...? I heard you got
left behind by the motorcade.
Yeah. It took us 20 hours to get out
of Indiana. You should've been with us.
- You would've had fun.
- I would've.
I don't know what to say
about the pipe bombing.
There's nothing to say.
- I miss you.
- I was trying to call Stackhouse...
- I'm sorry?
- What did you say?
- You said you called Howard?
- I haven't heard back.
- What'd you say?
- Calling about Sullivan?
They're not returning my call.
I shouldn't be nervous, right?
- No, you should be.
- Did you say you missed me?
- Josh...
- I should be nervous?
- We're considering...
-"We"?
Stackhouse.
The district court says Howard
Stackhouse can appear in the debates.
Is Stackhouse under
new management?
It's been... For debate prep.
It's been offered to me.
This is not the deal
we made with them.
In one week, he is supposed
to endorse the president.
- He never thought he'd get in.
- He's not!
So he's moving you
from consultant to...
I don't know, it's all happening fast.
It's just today.
I'm considering it.
It wasn't the deal we had.
I miss you.
You gotta ask yourself...
...multimillion-dollar bonuses are
deductible, not tuition?
Corporations donate to the members
of tax-writing committees.
I didn't mean you really had to ask.
I knew you knew the answer.
Ritchie's already coming after us
for politicizing the budget.
Plus, Leo hates to make
policy through tax code...
...because we can't do reform
without unraveling it.
Was that Amy?
Yeah. If the Sullivan decision's upheld...
...Stackhouse wants into the debate.
He's not gonna endorse the president.
- Had to see that coming.
- I'm calling Bruno.
Court's gonna stay the effect.
He won't be in the debate.
Josh'll take care of it.
- Anyway, college tuitions...
- Another reason not to do it...
There are a lot of reasons not to do it.
But...
...we met a guy last night
at an airport hotel in the bar.
His daughter was upstairs in the room.
They'd been looking at colleges.
He makes $55,000 a year.
His mutual fund got beat up
yesterday on Wall Street.
He was so happy to be taking
his daughter to colleges.
He came downstairs to the bar.
He didn't want her to
see that he didn't know...
...how he was gonna pay for it.
There are a lot of reasons not to do it.
But the president said,
"There are two kinds of politicians..."
"Ones who try to say yes
and ones who try to say no."
We're gonna throw these guys
out because they wanna say no.
If we're gonna get thrown out,
I don't want it to be for that.
Let's take it to Leo.
Hello?
- Matt? Matt?
- Yeah?
It's for you.
A man named Toby Ziegler.
You know him?
Yeah.
- Hello?
- Matt?
It's me, from last night.
We got home fine, thanks.
Now, let me tell you what
we're working on.