The West Wing (1999–2006): Season 3, Episode 22 - Posse Comitatus - full transcript

Bartlet, Leo, Sam, Toby, and C.J. travel to New York City for a Catholic fund raiser at a long Broadway play called "The War of the Roses". Josh steps up his efforts to beat his girlfriend,...

Previously on The West Wing:

I just like your smile is all.
I wouldn't mind seeing it more.

The president's ready to hire
a secretary.

- Good.
- He asked me to start a search.

- Well, I'm sorry...
- Sorry doesn't get me 218.

And why don't you know
what Ritchie's commitments are...

...before you get near my schedule?
Win the vote.

Gonna put the women's movement
out of business?

There's an election...

If you win by selling out the party,
who cares who wins?

He's killed innocent people.
He'll kill more, we have to end him.



Let Shareef come here
and we have options.

Cancel the trip and we have none.

We're leaving exactly one hour
later than we planned.

At 5:00, he'll board Marine One
for the trip to Andrews...

...where he'll board Air Force One
for the trip to New York.

We're trying to be helpful.
We understand a motorcade...

...rolling through midtown Manhattan
around 6-6:30...

...helps keep things well-lubed.

As a matter of fact, we apologize
to New Yorkers for the inconvenience.

But the delay was inevitable.

I meant to say"unavoidable."
The delay was unavoidable.

The president will make a short visit
at City Hall and be in his seat at 7:30.

Why is this such an early curtain?

The play is 19 hours long.



It's long. It's five and a half hours.

Do you have a nose count
yet this morning?

- On the welfare bill?
- I heard there was movement.

- Yeah, it's close.
- How close?

Look at the color
of Josh Lyman's hair.

How much of the summer plan for the
campaign depends on winning the vote?

I'd go beyond and say the future
of the world depends on it.

I don't wanna scare anyone,
but call your congressman.

Fifty dollars for a straight answer.
Will they meet tonight?

- The president and Ritchie? I don't know.
- Now I have to blow it on booze.

Anything else?
I'll see you in New York.

- You never told us, why the delay?
- I'm sorry?

Why is the president leaving
an hour later?

- He scheduled a last-minute meeting.
- With who?

Good question.

Qumari Defense Minister Abdul Shareef.

Where'd the wires cross? How'd
the Pentagon put it on his schedule?

- We didn't get the wires crossed.
- He's meeting the guy in the Oval Office.

He was always gonna do that.

- It wasn't canceled?
- No way.

The White House cancels
at the last minute...

...he's gonna have somebody tasting
his food for a month.

- I don't want him thinking...
- I don't want the president... .

All right.

I was gonna say, I don't want
him putting a voice to the guy.

I take my daughter for seafood...

...first thing she does is name the
lobsters in the tank so I can't eat them.

- Hello.
- Good morning, sir.

Mr. President, we wanted
to lay out some of the rules.

There are rules to these things?

Yes, sir. The first one being
the National Security Act, which...

...says basically that only the president
can trigger a covert action.

This isn't a case where you need
to know very little.

The law requires you know everything.

Doesn't the law also require
that I not assassinate someone?

Yes. Political assassination
is banned by executive order.

- Two, as a matter of fact.
- I know. One of them was mine.

The EO is law, but it was made
up by the executive.

And the executive can ignore it.

Assume for a second I say yes.
How do we do it?

- Fitz walks up to him with a gun?
- No, it can't be military.

- Why?
- The Posse Comitatus Act of 1878...

...prohibits the military
from civilian law enforcement.

And it can't happen on American soil.

- The things we choose to care about.
- Mr. President.

I should mention that if you give the
order, the law insists that you inform...

...what we call the"gang of eight."

That's the leadership on both parties
in both Houses...

...and the chairpeople and
members of the intelligence committees.

If it can't happen here, then why'd
we care Shareef was delivering himself?

He's flying back tonight
in his Gulfstream.

The pilot will be one of our people.

They'll experience a mechanical failure
about 90 minutes into the flight...

...and set down in a remote RAF airstrip
in Bermuda.

It's not much
more than a road in the grass.

- The British say yes?
- Yes, sir.

- How many there know about this?
- Three.

- And some people in Bermuda?
- Yes, sir.

This is as big as the club gets, all right?

Okay.

Well...

...surely this is the most absurd meeting
I've ever sat in.

And, friends,
that is saying something.

Sir, will you be exchanging gifts with
Shareef when you meet this afternoon?

- Yeah, I imagine.
- We'd like you to give him this.

What does the pen do?
It squirts poison?

It's got a small recording device
in there.

He'll probably throw it in the trash.

But you might get lucky, he sticks it
in his pocket for the flight home.

- Sir?
- We give him it boxed.

Tell them to put it in a box.

Can I get an egg-white omelet
and some toast that's badly burnt?

- Just coffee, thanks.
- Yes.

That doesn't give you cancer?

- Burnt toast?
- Yeah.

They're not sure.
That's why I had the omelet.

Welfare is a core issue
with swing and independent voters.

They use it to measure a president's
values on work and responsibility.

- Yeah.
- We're gonna win the vote.

- We'll see.
- We will.

But we're gonna.
I have a nine-vote margin.

I think you're gonna lose
Burnet, Bristol and Keith.

- They're on the fence?
- Yeah.

We have to authorize welfare
one way or another.

You gotta do it every six years.

Do you think I'm dumb?

They have to reauthorize it.
That means you've got Republican...

- We got an extra billion in childcare.
- That's great.

- But the marriage incentives are terrible.
- We don't like them either.

- But independent voters...
- Say white men, not independent voters.

If you're serious about making welfare
a second chance, not a way of life...

...you have to give job training.
- Call off the hunt.

I'll see that you make up
with the White House.

- Why?
- Because we're gonna win.

- Yes?
- Mrs. DiLaguardia.

- Yes.
- It's Charlie.

There's trouble with your phone.
We were disconnected.

- No.
- I hope you don't mind, I drove out.

No, yes. We weren't getting
disconnected. I was hanging up.

- Why?
- I wasn't interested in the job.

- Why didn't you say so?
- You would have asked me why.

- Yeah.
- My way was faster.

Why aren't you interested...?

You have my address. What other
corners of my life have you rooted out?

You worked at the White House.
We know where you live.

- I bet.
- May I come inside for a minute?

- Not allowed to park there.
- Yes, I am.

All right.

Mrs. DiLaguardia.

I'm not married to
Mr. DiLaguardia anymore.

- My name is Debbie Fiderer.
- Fiddler?

Fiderer.

Ms. Fiderer, you've worked as executive
assistant to Terrance Hunt...

...managing editor of Gannett News...

...Jack Kent Cook, former owner
of the Washington Redskins...

...Jordan Williams, partner
at Cutler, Williams, Rossi...

...and the White House
Office of Personnel.

I'd like you to meet the president to
discuss filling Mrs. Landingham's job.

- No.
- Why?

This is worse than the phone call.

- Why?
- Because I don't work for anyone...

...I'm my own boss. I set my sail
and then go that particular direction.

- You do?
- Yes.

- How's the sailing been?
- I beg your pardon?

How's business?

- I got off to a rocky start.
- What'd you try?

- Gambling.
- Didn't work out?

- But that's changed.
- Now you're...?

I'm an alpaca farmer.

- Are you serious?
- It's the finest livestock investment.

You mean the sheep they show
on late-night TV?

They're alpacas.
If you knew that, you'd know...

...that textiles made from their fiber
are coveted by the best fashion houses.

- You swallowed a brochure?
- I have two of the Huacaya variety.

You were executive to the head of the
U.S. Olympic Organizing Committee?

Yes.

I'm sending a car for you
in 90 minutes.

I was fired from the White House,
Charlie.

I know you were.

You know what you should do?

Bring your mom a souvenir
from the White House.

Every day, you should show
your mom some expression of love.

A smile."You look pretty today, Mom."

A good smack on the ass
they always like.

You know why you should give
your mom an expression of love?

Because she raised me.

Well, okay. I was gonna say
it just makes things easier.

- You'll be careful in New York, right?
- I'm only going for a few hours.

- I mean, when the crazy guy shows up.
- You don't think I can handle myself?

- Well... .
- What?

I don't deny you got skills.
You can shoot and you're athletic.

- But?
- You're slow-witted.

Let the beatings begin.

You're not very bright.
Criminals can sense this.

Get over here.

- Good morning.
- Good morning.

- I thought you weren't on till later.
- I'm not.

I arranged this for my friend Anthony.
Anthony, this is Ms. Cregg.

Hi.

Is it possible for Anthony
to get a souvenir to give his mom?

Sure. That's really sweet, Anthony,
doing something nice for your mom.

- You should be like that.
- Yes.

- Can you get this gentleman a key chain?
- Yep.

It'll have the seal of the president on it,
and his signature.

Tell your mom
you can't buy it in a shop.

You can't buy it anywhere. It's against
the law to sell the seal of the president.

But if the cops stop me,
aren't they gonna think I stole it?

If they stop you,
they'll think you're important.

- Stop you for what?
- Whatever.

- Wait outside a second, will you?
- Yeah.

Nice meeting you.

- Is he your nephew?
- No. I'm a Big Brother.

- We've been together about three years.
- Are you good at it?

I don't know.

He says he wants to be a Big Brother
when he gets older. So I guess.

Listen, there's no reason for you
to make the trip to New York.

I'll be with the president
the whole time.

- Can I say something?
- Sure.

- I'm not allowed to date a protectee.
- Who's trying to date you?

- Or to kiss a protectee.
- Who's trying to?

- You did.
- No, I didn't.

- C.J., I'm trusted with a serious job.
- Aren't you not allowed to call...

...a protectee by their first name?
- Yes, ma'am.

- I'm gonna take Anthony home.
- There's really no reason...

...for you to come to New York.
- See you on the plane.

It's The War of the Roses, all the Henrys,
and Richards too, for that matter.

- In some kind of condensed form?
- Yeah.

- Because you'd be there for weeks if...
- Yeah.

- There's also singing.
- It's a musical?

No, they're gonna sing
from time to time.

One of the songs is a song I love.

I can't think of the name now,
but it's an Edwardian.

It always reminds me...
It makes me think of college.

Like, I don't know,
they should be singing it...

...in the dining hall
at Christ College at Cambridge.

The chorus is:

"And victorious in war
shall be made glorious in peace."

I was just singing it this morning.

How have you been sleeping?

Good.

Let me ask you something.

Is there a crime which,
if it wasn't illegal, you would do?

I'd park anywhere I want.

- Right. But you wouldn't rob a bank?
- No.

Connecticut had a law prohibiting
the use of contraceptives.

It was written out of rage
against adultery.

But in the age of AIDS,
don't Connecticut residents...

...do more for the general welfare
by flagrantly breaking the law?

- There was a law against contraceptives?
- Yeah.

Can I ask, sir, how somebody
used to get caught?

- Stanley.
- What's on your mind?

- I can't tell you.
- Yeah, but you can.

No, I really can't.

It's high-security,
to say nothing of... .

To say nothing of what?

If I tell you I intend to commit a crime,
you're required by law to report it.

I have a pretty strange meeting
coming up.

I'm gonna go.
It's good seeing you.

Welfare reform is a state issue.

If you go ahead without the governors,
you're asking for trouble.

- You cosponsored the bill.
- If you increase the work hours...

...what do the governors do
if there aren't enough jobs?

I don't understand.

I don't think he's here
as a cosponsor of the bill.

I think he's here as the leader
of Florida's Republican delegation.

The president should
meet with Ritchie tonight.

Not gonna happen.

- They should walk in together.
- Walk in together?

It's a Catholic fundraiser,
not a network debate.

They should walk
in the door together.

They should go in a room and talk
and then they should watch the play.

There are five congressmen who would
be interested in the outcome of that.

We get the votes...

...if the president meets with Ritchie?
- Yes.

Ted, the president enters the room
with his wife and the president of China.

He doesn't do it
with the governor of Florida.

Can I ask why you're taking in a
Broadway show during a vote like this?

- A scheduling error.
- Yeah, it was.

- Nonetheless...
- I've got a primary.

- I know.
- I'm spending money already.

- We can help you raise money.
- So can Amy Gardner.

Look, there's a billion more
for childcare. It's not a bad bill.

We're fixing 10 things wrong
with welfare.

Transportation subsidies...

Women can't train for life after welfare
when they work 38 hours a week.

Forget about that.
It's marriage incentives.

I can't run without women.

All right.

- These are three no votes, right?
- Yeah.

- Okay. The president's gonna call you.
- You know when?

No. Sometime during
the first intermission.

And that the friendship
established long ago...

...between the United States
and the nation of Qumar...

...is based on frankness
and serves the interest...

...of both the American
and Qumari people.

Who are these men?

- Bodyguards.
- Okay.

And I would personally like
to congratulate you, Mr. President...

...on the renewal of your 10-year
lease on the air base in Tiaret.

Yeah, I'm feeling particularly
proud of that today.

We're happy you visited us,
Mr. Defense Minister.

You're welcome here any time.

Please send the best regards of
the U.S. president to the royal sultan.

Not in the Oval Office.

Sir?

Tell him I have a rash on my hand.
Make sure you apologize.

Yeah. Thanks.

Yes, sir.

It's a hand-carved incense burner.
Gypsum and sandalwood.

What's up?

AP called with a quote
from Kevin Kahn:

"Ritchie looks forward to meeting
the president...

...to talk about the plan
for the Everglades...

...which would tax farmers
into unemployment."

- It wouldn't.
- Yeah, but now he's got another:

"What's Bartlet hiding
from us today?" spot.

What about this? Call AP, tell them
that Governor Ritchie is mistaken...

...that he is not on
the president's schedule.

Go further. Say the president
would love to meet with Ritchie...

...but he's gonna be busy
tonight passing a vote.

That's being hung up
by the Florida delegation. Josh?

- Yeah?
- In response to a tactical leak...

...I'm gonna tell AP Florida's
messing with the welfare vote.

- Yeah.
- I'm asking because if we lose...

...we've said he's the one
who brought us down.

- You all right with this?
- Yeah.

- Hello.
- I was worried you were gonna be late.

- You want some water or something?
- No, thanks.

- Have you met him?
- We shook hands before a group picture.

- You'll be fine.
- Yeah.

You seem a little better than before.

- I took a pill.
- Why?

I was nervous about coming
back here.

- You took a pill?
- I took a couple.

- She can go in now.
- Okay.

Mr. President, this is Deborah Fiderer.
I'll be right outside.

- It's Fiderer?
- Fiddler. Fiderer.

It's Fiderer.

I saw your r?sum?.
So we don't need to talk about that.

- What have you done recently?
- I'm an alpaca farmer.

- Like the sweaters?
- Before they're sweaters.

- And before that?
- Craps and blackjack.

- A professional gambler.
- I like the way that sounds.

- Whereabouts?
- Bally's, mostly.

Okay. Why did you leave
the White House?

Mr. President, if you wanna talk about
getting screwed with your pants on...

- Charlie!
- I guess I got pretty well doinked.

- Yes, sir?
- Can I have a minute?

Would you mind waiting outside
a moment?

No, not at all.

Is this a joke?

If it's a joke, it's both funny
and well-executed.

But I think you and I both know
that it's not.

I sent you out to replace
Dolores Landingham.

- That's what you came home with?
- Was she...?

She needed two tries
to get her own name.

- Well, sir...
- Don't worry.

I'll get the personnel office on it.
I gotta change.

Thank you, Mr. President.

Okay. Okay, that was my fault.

I didn't properly prepare you for
the meeting. That was bad staff work.

Before your next job interview,
I remind you...

...you don't want to be stoned.
- There's gonna be a second interview?

As many as it takes.
We're gonna get this right.

Let me back you up a second.
Have we done the first one yet?

I'm calling a cab now.

Okay. What ever happened to
the Swingle Singers?

I don't know.

Good afternoon.

After being presented
with overwhelming evidence...

...provided by foreign and domestic
intelligence agencies...

...the president requested the intelligence
finding you have in your hands now.

That finding has been prepared
and signed off...

...by the directors
of NSA and Central Intelligence.

It was subsequently submitted
for review and approval...

...by the national security advisor...

...the secretaries of state
and defense...

...the attorney general, White
House counsel and finally myself.

And I submit it to you for notification.

How are you getting
around 11905?

The president's rescinding
his own executive order.

He's on U.S. soil right now.
Why can't the FBI act on this?

The FBI's role is investigatory, they're
not allowed to engage in a police action.

- And the military?
- Posse Comitatus.

You're killing Shareef.

I don't know.

What does that mean?

Leo, when does the president
give the green light?

At the last possible minute.

Consider yourselves notified.
Thank you. I have theater tickets.

The secure exits are indicated in red.
The side agents are standing post.

- Yes, sir.
- And the U.D.

Yeah.

They can bring the dogs in. Thank you.

Simon?

Yes, sir.

We've got a lead. I think I'm gonna
have news for you in a few minutes.

- That right?
- Yeah.

Thank you.

- Hey, C.J.
- How are you guys doing?

- C.J., the president running on time?
- Just about.

- I asked you to wait with an agent.
- I wanted some air.

And that's fine, but I asked you
to wait with an agent.

Simon.

Say to the agent,"I'd like to go
get some air." He'll go with you.

I'm standing in the security detail.
What will happen?

I don't know what's gonna happen.
If I did, this would be easy.

- Maybe if we didn't shout so much.
- I've spent my life protecting people.

You're the first who's got me
thinking about switching sides.

I'm sorry you feel that way.
I think I've been a treat.

- Oh, yes. A little Easter treat just for me.
- You seem riled.

From the first day,
you've acted like this is my fault.

- That's a tough case to make.
- I don't think any of us are at fault.

There are times when it seems
like you like me.

- I do.
- Then you just walk off to stick it to me.

Forget personalities. It's stupid!

- I said, I do like you.
- I meant the other way!

So did I. I tried to kiss you.

- You said you didn't.
- I was lying, you idiot.

- I'm switching sides now.
- I was embarrassed. I fumbled it.

- You didn't. I'm not allowed.
- It sounded like an excuse.

It's not. Somebody is threatening
to kill you. I can't be...

I watched you trying
on dresses at Barneys.

- The guy shows up. I can't be...
- You watched me at Barneys?

You're like the girl in Driver's Ed
who won't watch the movie...

...and ends up missing a lesson
about drinking and driving.

What in God's name
are you talking about?

Simon Donovan.

You're saying I need to take
my protection seriously.

Simon, this is happening to me.

I take the situation seriously,
but I have to live my life.

- So maybe sometimes...
- I have a phone to my ear.

- What does that mean to you?
- I shouldn't be talking.

Thank you.

They've got him.

- What do you mean?
- We have him in custody. It's him.

Ten-fifty. It's Donovan.

They got my guy.

- They have him?
- They stopped his train in Trenton.

- Where was he going?
- Here.

He wasn't gonna do anything to you.

This is over.

- There's paperwork.
- I meant for me.

Yeah.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

Seriously.

Thanks.

So I'm free.

You can drive your car, walk in a crowd,
eat a grapefruit, do what you want.

- How about a drink?
- Sure, you can drink.

- Can you meet me after the play?
- Yes.

- Good.
- Where?

- Anywhere you want.
- How about right here?

I have to go to work.

Hung be the heavens with black,
yield day to night.

Comets...

...importing changes of times
and states...

...brandish your crystal tresses
in the sky...

...and with them...

...scourge the bad revolting
stars...

...that have consented unto Henry's
death.

King Henry the Fifth...

...too famous to live long.

Virtue he had...

...deserving to command.

He ne'er lift up his hand,
but conquered.

- He went to the Yankee game.
- Ritchie?

- Yes.
- He's at the Yankee game right now?

Local news covered it.

He said this was how ordinary
Americans got entertainment.

I've been to 441 games
in Yankee Stadium.

- Not a person there is ordinary.
- I know.

- You making fun of the Yankees?
- No.

- Now?
- I'm not.

- They went to the Yankee game.
- He's coming at intermission.

- I'm not sure that suits me.
- I know.

Making an entrance
after the president.

That's just not how we play bridge.
It's not how we say cricket.

You're starting to freak me out.

- Talk to me.
- How many people are at the game?

It's a good game.
About 40,000 probably.

There was
an incumbent president...

...who was facing a primary challenge,
and on the day of the primary...

...his staff sent his motorcade
into a district...

...that was favored by his opponent
in order to tie up traffic.

I'd like to make it plain
I would never do anything...

...to tamper with an election.
- I am so proud of you.

You're really very much
freaking me out.

It's Toby on one.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Listen. I'm gonna send
the motorcade up the Major Deegan.

- Is that okay with you?
- Why?

Josh has a good point.
We should think of a reason.

- Why don 't you guys get back to me.
- How's it going?

They start voting in a half an hour.

- You bringing in Brenda?
- Yeah.

I didn't hear you.

I'm bringing in Brenda. We're making
her chairman of the Platform Committee.

Hey, did I put too much pressure
on you with the vote?

No.

With the Ritchie meeting
and the AP quote?

- No.
- The president jumped up and down...

- ... on you pretty hard last week.
- It's over, Toby. We won.

Amy's incredibly employable, Josh.

- All right.
- All right.

You did all right, okay?

- I bought her boss.
- That's how you had to win this one.

You think her job's really in jeopardy?

No, she'll lose it for sure.

Anyway, good job.
See you tomorrow.

- You're not sticking around for the vote?
- We won by eight.

It's already intermission.
Ritchie's stuck in traffic.

He won't get here until
the second act.

He should've taken
the Cross Bronx to the West Side.

I don't know, but I wanna
tell you some good facts.

1.8 million dollars raised
for Catholic Charities tonight...

...thanks to the people who made it.

While we talk, the House is passing
the president's welfare reform bill.

He appreciates all the governors
who worked the vote.

The Yankees are about to snap a
12-game winning streak. Thanks a lot.

What Toby means to say is
if 90% of success is showing up...

...we're just happy there's someone
standing up for the other 10.

- I love the theater.
- I know what you mean.

Thank you so much, Mr. President.

Thank you.

- What's going on?
- Nothing, sir.

I'll be arranging a second meeting
with Deborah Fiderer when we get back.

- From this afternoon?
- Yes, sir.

Are you pledging a fraternity?
This would be a good one.

- What is it with you and her?
- She hired me.

That's why she was fired.

You happen to know if a Milky Way bar
has red meat in it?

Sorry. Kidding.

I'm gonna buy this and... .

- And the flower.
- No. No, we don't have that.

No. I mean, I'm gonna buy this.
How much is it?

- No. It's... It's okay.
- No. How much is it?

You can go.

It's all right.

Don't move at all. I'm a federal officer.
Don't reach.

I'm Secret Service.
You know you'll never get there.

Put your hands in the air.

That's it.

I want you to lie down face-first
on the floor. Let's go.

Keep it up.
You're doing great.

You shouldn't get down on yourself.

A Secret Service agent walking
in on the middle of an armed robbery...

...that's just bad luck.

You lie still, okay?

This is Donovan.

I need N.Y.P.D. at a Korean grocery
at 98th and Broadway.

I hate to be a problem customer,
but if I don't get a Milky Way bar soon...

... too...

...too unpardonable.

Off with the crown...

...and with the crown, his head.

And whilst we breathe...

...take time to do him dead.

That is my office, for my father's sake.

Nay, stay...

...let's hear the orisons he makes.

She-wolf of France...

...but worse than wolves of France,
whose tongue more poison... .

Somebody's made a mistake. He was
just on his way to the field office.

Yeah, to...

...put in paperwork.
- C.J.

Excuse me.

- What did you think I was gonna do?
- I thought you were gonna do this.

- And?
- And I didn't think it was gonna work.

Are you fired?

I'm resigning on Monday.

You have to?

I had an entire policy initiative
reversed in an hour.

Were you given a chance to get votes
by setting a meeting with Ritchie?

I'm not a dating service.

What is wrong with you?

Every serious Democrat
is gonna unite behind this president.

I'm not kidding.

Every serious Democrat should
think about leading.

- How's it going so far?
- It's going all right. I'd do it again.

That's what's scaring me.

- Good. It's about time.
- You can't win the White House...

...while the middle-class thinks
you disdain work and responsibility.

I would hope not. I congratulate
you for punishing women...

...as a symbol of the strength
of mainstream values.

That's not what we did.

Do you not consider it relevant...

...that it would be worse with
Rob Ritchie in the White House?

Why is that not part of the equation?

Honey, Simon Donovan
was shot and killed.

Civilians get trials.

I'd argue he's not a civilian.

So would the attorney general.

They're gonna find out it's us.

We can make it look like
the plane went down...

...but they'll find out it's us.

I'm gonna be running for re-election
while fighting a war against Qumar.

- That's why you wanna say no?
- I want him tried.

- That can't happen.
- I understand.

I was talking this morning about how
Mallory names the lobsters in the tank.

Would it help if I brought you a list
of names of Shareef's victims?

What do you want from me?

Who was the monk who wrote,"I don't
always know the right thing to do, Lord...

...but I think the fact that I
wanna please you pleases you"?

- You have two minutes, sir.
- This isn't a matter of religion.

- Yes, sir.
- I recognize there is evil in the world.

What is your objection
exactly, sir?

Doesn't this mean we join
the league of ordinary nations?

That's your objection?

I won't have trouble saying
the Pledge of Allegiance tomorrow.

- That's not my objection.
- Sir.

It's just wrong.

It's absolutely wrong.

I know.
But you have to do it anyway.

Why?

Because you won.

Take him.

Caught me.

Mr. President.

Governor.

- You enjoying the play?
- I am. How about you?

We just got here.
We were at the Yankee game.

- We got hung up in traffic.
- Yeah, I know.

Politics aside, and I don't wanna
make a big deal out of it...

...you probably insulted the Church.

You can head it off at the pass
if you speak to the cardinal.

- Well, I didn't mean to insult anybody.
- No.

It's a baseball game.
It's how ordinary Americans...

Yeah.

No, I don't understand that.

The center fielder for the Yankees
is an accomplished classical guitarist.

People who like baseball
can't like books?

Are you taking this personally?

No.

Something horrible happened
about an hour ago.

C.J. Cregg was getting threats,
so we put an agent on her.

He's a good guy.

He was on my detail for a while,
and he was in Rosslyn.

He walked into the middle
of an armed robbery...

...and was shot and killed
after detaining one of the suspects.

Crime.

Boy, I don't know.

We should have a great debate, Rob.
We owe it to everyone.

When I was running,
I didn't know anything.

I made them start Bartlet College
in my dining room:

Two hours every morning
on foreign affairs and the military.

You could do that.

How many different ways you think
you're gonna find to call me dumb?

I wasn't, Rob.

But you've turned being unengaged
into a Zen-like thing.

You shouldn't enjoy it
so much is all.

If it appears at times as if I don't
like you, that's the only reason why.

You're what my friends
call a superior son of a bitch.

You're an academic elitist
and a snob.

You're Hollywood.

You're weak, you're liberal.

And you can't be trusted.

And if it appears from time to time
as if I don't like you...

...well, those are just a few
of the many reasons why.

They're playing my song.

In the future, if you're wondering...

..."Crime. Boy, I don't know," is
when I decided to kick your ass.