The Wednesday Play (1964–1970): Season 1, Episode 19 - Horror of Darkness - full transcript
Peter and Cathy are initially delighted to see their charismatic, subtly domineering friend Robin. But he outstays his welcome, and that's to say the least of it.
Hello.
Huh? Didn't notice.
Turned over and there you were,
gone.
Mm-hm. Simply didn't notice, sorry.
That's all right. I mean,
if I'd known, I'd have got up,
made a cup of coffee.
It's 8:00, you know.
8:00.
Yeah.
What would you like for breakfast
this bright morning, hmm?
Oh!
That is the one thing...
Well, it would be, wouldn't it?
The one thing I haven't got.
Still, we can always go out
and buy it.
I mean, specially, and after all,
you are a man at work.
You must be fed inspiration.
Hey, what is all this? Nonsense.
I thought so. What happened?
Nothing. Coffee and toast
for breakfast? Thank you.
Coming up.
Hey.
Good morning.
Oh, and a very good morning
to you, too.
Have you finished?
Nope.
Aren't you going to?
No, not yet. I don't feel...
Oh, darling, I'm sorry.
What?
Well, it was me, I suppose.
No. Barging in, acting the goat.
No, sweetie, it wasn't.
I just don't feel...
Oh, you know.
Hey, boo!
I'm sorry.
Oh, not to worry.
It's always worth taking out
ten minutes for the cabaret.
Oh, you too?
When's it supposed to be finished?
Today. Sometime today.
It's one of the lot I'm taking in
tomorrow morning.
Oh, well. I'll finish it.
Of course you will.
You always do.
Hello, hello, hello.
And who might that be?
I don't know. Mao Tse-tung?
Is it? Well, he said he might
drop in, nothing definite.
Well, you better answer
the door then, hadn't you?
What? Send me in my deshabille?
DOORBELL CONTINUES RINGING
Oh, boy.
Other people's houses,
the phone rings, they answer it.
The doorbell, they open it.
You, a production already.
Morning.
Oh, for good night.
Well, it's giving the haste, don't
you think, for the time of year?
Who is it?
Can I come in, do you think?
Come in. Yes, come on in,
for crying out loud.
Come on.
Who is it?
Cathy?
Robin? Yes.
Darling!
SHE LAUGHS JOYOUSLY
Well, I have been known to
use that name.
Oh, well, it's good to see you.
Yes.
Well, this, this is nice.
Well, we must do this more often.
Where the devil
have you sprung from?
From the north, the north,
the far frozen north.
Come.
Come and sit down.
Via Euston, of course.
They threw me off about
half past seven.
What, this morning? Yes.
What, you travelled down overnight?
Yes. A nice trip?
Yes.
Well, not bad,
not bad at all, really.
Why didn't you let us know
you were coming?
You'd have baked a cake, would you?
Or put on some make-up.
Oh, lovely. You look lovely. Oh.
You know what I thought, you know,
it's a waste of time telephoning.
So I thought I'd surprise you,
surprise you.
You did that.
No, I thought a card
or perhaps even a letter -
"I am on my way."
You must be mad.
She must be mad.
What have you done to her?
Well, are you staying a while,
are you, staying?
Well, to tell you the truth, Pete...
Staying with us?
I'd like to.
Well, you wouldn't be making
the weary traveller
a sustaining a cup of coffee,
would you?
Yeah, 'course.
No sooner said than done.
How much do you charge,
bed and breakfast?
Oh, reasonable, you know,
very reasonable.
Oh, well, if the service is good,
I may stay a wee while.
Well, how are you?
All right.
You know, keeping busy.
Good.
You're painting? Hmm?
Painting.
Oh.
Well, how's it going?
Are you, you keeping busy?
Well, as a matter of fact, no.
I mean, yes.
Well, I'm all right,
but no, I'm not keeping busy.
Well, holidays already?
No, no.
I thought it was a shade early.
No, I packed it in, did I tell you?
No.
Oh, yes. I'll never be
a teacher, me. Never.
I found that out.
Took a bit of time,
but the penny dropped.
I mean, in the end,
the penny dropped.
Yes, well, it may come as
a complete shock to you, mate,
but I haven't heard a word
out of you in two years,
near enough. Is it two years?
Near enough.
You must think
I've been avoiding you.
Well, I thought perhaps
you'd lost the address.
Very likely.
Now, what's this, then?
Oh, it's just something
I'm trying to get finished.
Mm-hm.
What is it?
Oh, it's a diagram,
you know, an illustration.
Is it?
It's for a biological textbook.
It's not finished yet.
That's not what you do.
I mean, now, is that what...? Yes.
Peter, for God's sake. What?
The time, the time,
why didn't you tell me the time?
What is the time?
It's late, late, late.
Oh, well, bad luck.
Late for work, Cathy?
Oh, work, I'm always late,
but this morning,
I'll be lucky if I get there
before they start chucking us out.
Well, there's a simple answer
to that. Don't bother going.
Oh, thank you very much. I've done
that twice already this month.
Well, you'd better get dressed
and get going, hadn't you?
Yes, only what I wanted to say was
you have to manage without me this
morning. Get your own breakfast.
It won't kill me. Ha, won't it?
No, look, Cathy, don't
bother about us.
I'll take him out and buy him
some breakfast. Oh?
So you just get on and forget
about us, OK? Will you?
Hmm, well. We can go on
and get ourselves a cup of coffee.
Well, no, I shan't bother.
Oh, look, you'll just have to
fight it out among yourselves,
because I've got to get dressed.
Oh, come on, Pete.
No. Come on, half an hour.
Look, I don't want to.
Well, that can't be that urgent,
surely to God.
Yes, it is.
Oh, come on.
Look, if you want some breakfast,
go and get it.
I'll be here when you get back.
I'll have it finished by then.
What, this great work of art?
That's right.
Well, I certainly wouldn't
want to come between a man
and his inspiration.
No.
You made up your minds yet?
Yes, I'm staying here.
Robin's going out.
Surprise, surprise!
Have you made the coffee yet?
Boiled the water.
Oh, well done.
Oh, and there's some toast there.
It's cold. It's better for you.
Peter? Yes?
Have you got any money?
Not much. Oh, well, I was thinking
if you could lend me a pound,
then I could take a taxi.
Oh, yes!
Can you?
Well, have a look in my wallet.
You've got it in the bedroom.
Aha, £3.
Well, you'd better take one of them,
then, hadn't you?
You wouldn't want them finding out
just how well they can manage
without you. I'll pay you back.
Yes, you will.
Look, Robin, old son. I'm sor...
Of course, I'm, I'm not an artist,
but I think that improves it,
don't you, on the whole?
Oh, boy.
Peter, would you...?
What happened? Him.
My friend, my good friend
from the north. But...
He happened.
You take chances, don't you, mate?
You take your chances.
Look, what's going on?
On my way over here, I saw a cafe
that was open, and I thought then
you could probably get
a good breakfast there.
I hate London. Hmm?
London, oh, God, I hate it.
You make up your mind
a bit sudden, don't you?
It's a filthy place. You've only
just got here, give it a chance.
Yes.
Yes... Robin. "..and dream of
London, small and white and clean.
"The clear Thames,
bordered by its gardens green."
Oh, yes.
Only it's not like that.
No. No.
You're wandering a bit,
aren't you, mate?
What, wear out the carpet, will I?
Not what I meant, is it?
I don't suppose so.
You're damn right.
I missed you.
What's the matter? Oh!
Well?
Just something,
something's the matter.
Yes, I've noticed.
Well, do you want to
tell me about it?
I want to.
All right, then.
You have my undivided attention.
Oh, drop dead.
What? "Well, doctor,
I have this pain. Can you...?"
All right. "Undivided attention."
I was just trying...
Yes, I know. I'm not worthy...
You know, sometimes you make me
want to spit right in your face.
Oh, yeah?
I didn't know.
PHONE RINGS
Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that.
Hmm.
I mean, I just said it.
PHONE CONTINUES RINGING
SLAMS DOOR
Hey?
Thompson.
Oh? Well, you know.
The editor of the magazine.
The man who's waiting for these.
Can he have them this afternoon?
Can he?
Sorry.
What?
Well, the drawing.
Oh. I didn't think.
No.
Don't you want to know why I...?
I thought it was a pretty typical
adolescent attempt
to draw attention to yourself.
Yes, I suppose so.
I mean... Yes, that's right.
Hmm.
You are pleased to see me?
As a matter of fact, I am, yes.
I believe you.
Yeah. You're maddening, you.
You interrupt all the time.
Still, I miss you when you're not
around driving me potty.
Can you, can you stand the thought
of me living here?
Can you stand that?
Well, I don't know
where else you can go.
No.
Anyway, it's Cathy's problem,
isn't it?
Eh?
Well, I mean, paying guests,
non-paying guests.
They all come under the general
heading of "housekeeping".
Look, it's a dreary job, the
dreariest. I do it for the money.
So there's another reason.
Well, that's why I'm here,
after all.
Come to make me fortune.
Oh, yeah.
Streets paved with gold.
Well, you've come to the wrong
place. Oh, I don't know.
I don't know, refrigerator.
Oh, it's the climate, you see.
Electric cooker.
Now, I can...
Higher level grill.
It depends on the level of your
eyes, of course. Electric kettle.
Every home... What's this, then?
Oh, you see, when it boils,
it switches itself off, stops it.
Oh, they're clever, you know,
they're definitely clever,
these Chinese.
I burned the bottom out of three
kettles before Peter bought...
Oh, now, Robin, please.
Vacuum cleaner.
Enough's enough.
Well, that's pretty splendid.
Yes. Any other goodies hidden away?
I don't think so.
Electric toaster.
Cuts down the fire risk.
Here, Peter must be doing all right.
Hey! You'll be doing
all right then, mate.
Making a tiny bomb, that's all.
No need to come up on the pools,
have you?
Come on. Get out of the way.
Just bringing it in, OK?
Yeah, sure.
Fine.
Did I tell you why I came to London?
To make your fortune?
No.
You see, I sold this story.
What story? A short story.
I sold it to a magazine.
Did I tell you?
No. No, you didn't. How marvellous!
Yes, I bought myself a ticket to
London with the proceeds.
Well, can we read it?
Have you got a copy?
Oh, well, it just so happens that
I have 5,000 gross in my suitcase.
CATHY CHUCKLES
To hear is to obey.
Tra-la!
What are you two doing in there?
Hang on, love.
What was going on in the kitchen?
Robin has sold a short story.
Oh, well, it's not terribly good.
Have you?
Are you sure, old chap?
I mean, is it polite
to sound so surprised?
Well, where is it, then?
Let's see it.
Oh, let me see.
Let me see.
Thank you.
When did this happen?
A wee while ago.
Clever, aren't you?
Well, as I've said,
it's not terribly good.
I'm sure it's absolutely splendid.
Only where the hell is it?
Oh, I'm sorry, love, here.
I had to use a pen name.
Huh? Yeah. Why?
Shortest Way Home.
Well, the Head felt I had more than
enough to do teaching...
Philip Moss?
..without, you know, wasting my
precious time writing. Oh!
What's the matter?
Nothing. You got a cigarette?
No, I don't smoke.
Oh, come on. I know that.
Don't... Cathy? Here. Thanks.
Philip Moss. Let's see.
Robin Fletcher's better.
Oh, yeah?
Well, it's more like you.
No, well, you know, it got where I
was more teaching in my spare time,
you know? And writing,
that's what mattered.
Oh, what the hell?
I'm not there any more.
What, on the strength of this?
Yes, well, look,
it's only London, Peter.
It's not the South Seas.
I sold this story and I thought,
"Right...", I thought,
"..that it, get off.
"I mean, that's what I want to do.
What the hell am I doing here?"
Now, if you want to do something
badly enough, you've got to do it.
You have got to.
UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS IN BACKGROUND
Echo il leoni.
Hello.
Mike, you don't know Pete.
No. Hello.
Hello.
Peter Young, artist extraordinaire.
Known to his friends as "Moneybags".
You had a good day?
Not particularly. It was raining.
The colours ran.
Nobody stopped,
and I was moved on three times.
Net profit - a tenner, two thrupenny
bits and six Irish pennies.
Are you a pavement artist?
Are you?
No. Are you staying long?
No, no, my dear old mate,
we're just off just this minute.
Well, don't let me drive you out.
No, no.
TURNS OFF MUSIC
CLAPS HANDS
Promised to feed you tonight,
didn't I? Yes.
Well, always keep my promises.
Known for it.
I like that.
That, yes, I like that.
I would have liked to hear it all.
Well, now I'm just terribly sorry
about that, you know?
Terribly sorry.
Well, another time.
No, I tell you what.
I'll go out again, I mean,
it's no bother. I'll go. You stay.
Come on, Mike.
Peter? In here.
I'm sorry, darling.
It's all that terrible traffic. I
thought I'd be home miles before...
My wife.
Oh, Mike, meet Cathy.
Hello. Hello to you.
Party? No, no, no, no.
We're just off, actually. They
just popped in out of the rain.
Goodbye.
Well, don't wait up.
We won't. Have fun.
Bye.
Whee! Should, uh,
should I perhaps know her?
I don't think so.
Do you? No. Then how the hell...?
I mean, how did she come to be here?
Well, assuming she didn't come
by post, I think Robin
must have brought her in, don't you?
She was here?
CHUCKLES
I mean when you got home,
she was here with Robin.
They were listening to a record.
Oh, sure.
Well, at least when I got here,
they were listening to a record.
Oh, for God's sake.
I had the distinct feeling
I was intruding.
Do you think he makes a habit of it?
What? Do you?
I don't know. No.
Well, supposing he does. What?
Do you mind?
Yes. Yes, I do mind.
Oh! I do mind.
All right. Well, don't you?
No, I don't...
I don't really care
one way or the other.
Ugh. You know what?
What?
You sound just the tiniest
bit jealous.
Don't be stupid.
What else?
This is our home, all this.
It's our home.
He has no right bringing in...
He's our guest.
Well, she's not. No.
Well, is she? For pity's sake.
I won't have it. Obviously.
And it's not funny.
No.
Hey, didn't know you felt like this.
No.
Neither did I.
If you can, you know,
just if you can.
How much more?
Can you make it 20?
You're not serious?
Yes.
Where do you think I'm going to get
£20...? You.
Sorry.
No, you're right.
Look around you.
I mean, sure, I can afford
to give you £20.
Only when am I likely
to get it back?
You'll get it back. Oh, good.
I don't know when. No.
OK, all right. I'm sorry I asked.
Come on, break off my arms,
I tried to borrow some money.
Well, what do you want it for?
Oh, no.
Look, please, just forget it.
I didn't actually say no.
Rich gifts wax poor.
Oh, come on.
Surely you can do better than that.
Even I know where it comes from.
"Whene'er I take my walks abroad,
How many poor I see!
SINGS:
# "What shall I render to my God
# "For all his gifts to me?" #
Oh, I hate that.
Yeah, I'm not mad about it myself.
Can you put the stool at the foot
of the bed, please? Thank you.
Trying to improve his mind?
Pointing the way a little.
He has this vocation to be
a teacher. Oh, no, I don't.
I mean, calmly, simply, no, I don't.
Right, he has no vocation to be
a teacher. Thank you.
Just a load of rubbish
cluttering up his mind.
And an irresistible urge
to push it out, yes.
Very profitable way to spend
a Sunday morning.
As for you...
What?
Yuch!
What? What have I done?
Oh! Cathy, what have I done?
Do you know... No. ..what I've done?
Mr Philip Moss?
What? Philip Moss's first play.
See all about it.
Oh, yes...
"Oh, yes," he says,
calm as you please.
Play?
First play!
Well, I didn't know.
I thought it was next week. Look.
Where? There!
But when they spoke to me,
they said it was next week.
Well, they must have been
short of news.
Yes. It doesn't say much.
What's it all about?
Well, if you've got
a couple of hours to spare,
I'll tell you the plot. Yes. OK.
No, hang on, we'll have some coffee.
Make ourselves comfortable.
Congratulations, Philip, old chap.
Well, thank you, dear lady.
Yeah! Congratulations.
LAUGHTER
PARTY NOISE IN BACKGROUND
Oh, all the same...
Those people! I know! Noise!
And talk!
Yeah, there was one woman...
I saw! I saw her!
I didn't think it was possible.
Oh!
Oh, it was an inspiration
coming out here.
That, my love, is when you have
inspiration, when you're cornered.
You know, at one point
I looked around and I thought,
"I honestly do not think I know
a single one of you."
I'm damned certain I didn't.
It's funny, you know, I thought
you were supposed to know people
when you went to a party -
some of them at least.
Well, you could hardly say
we went to this party, could you?
I mean, it more came to us,
didn't it?
When I opened the door,
I looked at them all...
LAUGHTER
I looked at them all and Robin said,
"I've brought a small party."
So I said, "Where is he?"
Oh, it was a terrible mistake.
They roared with laughter
and swept in.
You, um...
You didn't, by any chance, manage
to bring some cigarettes with you,
did you? Oh, hang on. Mm?
I think I did.
Oh, angel, thank you very much.
It's entirely a pleasure. Thank you.
LOUD MALE LAUGHTER
Hey, you know, for someone
who's only been in London
a couple of weeks, he knows
a fair whack of people, doesn't he?
Seems to, mmm.
It's a funny thing, though.
I got the feeling -
just sort of an impression...
What? Well, they didn't seem to
know each other
any more than we knew them.
Just an impression. I suppose
we're being sensible, are we?
How do you mean?
Leaving that lot in there? Oh.
You don't think they'll break
the place up? Yes, I do.
Still, I don't see what we'd do.
I mean, I don't fancy our chances
against that crew.
Hey!
It's not desperate, you know?
I mean, there's not a lot
they can do in the way of damage.
Peter...
No, he can't.
You'll have to talk to him.
Well, I'm going to.
I mean... Friendship goes so far,
and this is quite far enough.
I think so.
It's nice out here.
I don't know about that.
Relatively, of course.
Are you jealous of Robin?
What?
Are you? No.
Yeah.
I thought you were joking.
Thought so.
Hey, hey, hey.
Just wanted to make sure.
Oh, boo-boo there, old buddy.
You're jealous of Robin.
You're acting as if I said
something. You did. No!
Look, no hands.
I'm not jealous of Robin Fletcher.
Why should I be jealous of him?
Now, where shall I start?
Well, he's got you.
I mean, he's got a home.
He's got everything in his home
he could possibly want.
He's got you.
He's got a job doing exactly
what he wants for which he is paid.
He's got you.
In addition to the vast sums
he earns,
he's got a large supplementary
income earned for him by you.
Most of the time, he lives a quiet
life in idyllic surroundings
provided for him by you.
Now, could it be...?
Could it possibly be I'm getting him
confused with somebody else?
Jealous?
I'm sorry.
Jealous?
If it wasn't so funny,
it would be pathetic! Peter.
Jealous of you and Robin? Darling...
What? You'll have to do better
than that.
That's not what I meant.
Oh, steady...!
Thanks.
Not much left, is there?
Oh, charming. Well, is there?
Now, don't start that again.
If you're going to moan...
Lipstick. Oh, I give up.
What makes you ask a stupid
question like that, anyway?
Stupid? Well, Robin and you.
That's NOT what I meant. No?
I meant Robin and you.
Don't you envy him?
What? Success.
Is he a success?
No, I mean, is he really?
Well, he's doing
what he wants to do.
Well, so? Why should I envy him?
I'm doing what I want to do.
Are you?
Don't you listen to any...?
You're getting more like him
every...
Are you doing what you want?
Everlasting questioning.
SHOUTS: Yes, I am! Really!
All right.
Well, of course, if I wasn't,
there wouldn't be a great deal
I could do about it, would there?
Well...
No, that's what you mean, isn't it?
That's what you meant all the time.
That's what all the questions
are really about.
Am I sacrificing myself
on the altar of...?
Get stuffed.
I'm sorry.
It's not your fault.
Argh!
We were having such a nice time.
Hmm.
I wish.... Oh!
You're striding out of your class,
that's all. What?
Well...
Did you really think that was
your very own bright little notion?
Yes. No.
Robin - ask him the jealousy
question, why don't you?
You know?
I know Robin.
All right, then. I like him.
You know what he's trying to do?
It's not too difficult, is it?
I mean, you don't have to be
particularly clever... Oh, Peter!
..which I'm very definitely not.
What are you going to do about it?
Nothing.
You don't mind?
Oh, sweetie, as long as we know,
what harm can he possibly do?
Ohhh...
Anyway, what's more to the point,
where else can he go? Hmm?
I don't know.
Sad, isn't it?
It's just a bit sad.
JAZZ MUSIC IN BACKGROUND
Did you enjoy the party?
What?
Did you have a good time?
No.
Oh, I'm sorry. I did.
I'm glad.
SINGS: # Somewhere
over the rainbow... #
You know, just this morning,
I have a feeling that our Peter
doesn't like little Robin very much.
You could have something there, too.
Yes. You busy, are you?
Got things to do? Yes.
Man of affairs -
in the nicest possible way,
of course. Oh, of course.
You're laughing, aren't you?
I mean, deep down inside.
Now, come on, admit it.
You are laughing.
# There's a land
that I dreamed of... #
You don't like smoking, do you?
Smoking.
I don't smoke.
You don't like smoking.
Did I say anything?
Other people smoking. Go ahead.
I don't mind. Yes, you do. No.
Anybody can see that. Can they? Yes.
I shall have to try it a bit harder,
won't I?
Take a bit more trouble.
Is it the smell?
I see no sign of Cathy giving it up.
Or the mess?
Look. What the hell
are we talking about?
Nothing in particular.
No. Conversation, Peter.
The gentle art.
Well, two minutes' silence
isn't the end of the world.
I mean, not for me.
Ah, yes, but then, as we all know,
you're more than a bit special,
aren't you? Mm.
No more than a bit?
Oh, come on in, Pete.
The water's lovely.
Here we go again.
Are you going to stay stood
on the bank all day, are you?
You just lost me.
No. You see, there are just
some things I can talk about.
Some when it's light, daylight,
high noon and that.
And I fear no more.
That would make a smashing musical,
don't you think?
Hey? What?
Some... some swinging lyrics,
this old bloke...
I mean, he's not old, actually,
more blind.
Only it's not funny.
Kind of tragic and sexy, too,
because, like I said, he's not old.
And he's got this big number.
Eyeless, and it's a big, big, big
production number,
full stage, 50 on the chorus.
Slaves, and the girls!
Oh, Pete.
Now, I have the feeling that
I'm not getting through to you,
Petey, old son.
One word in ten.
Oh, no, it's not the words,
and I repeat,
here we go again.
No, it's not the words.
I'm going to have a fag.
You don't mind.
# There's a land
that I dreamed of ... #
Here...
HE STRIKES A MATCH
Thanks.
Look, I'm, like, trying.
Argh! I'm sorry.
That's naughty, naughty!
Cathy spank.
Yes, I know, Pete.
Talk, talk, talk. I know.
I wonder if you had the gift
of words...
..what would you say?
Jump off!
Very likely.
Why, oh, then, why can't I?
I don't know.
It's a song. Yeah.
Look, do you want to
say something to me?
Something important? Is that it?
Do you?
Mm? Do you?
No... Yes.
No, look, not if I...
Look, don't do me no favours.
All right.
Look, Pete, my dear old man.
Now, come on, Robin,
be a bit serious!
SHOUTS: What do you think?
I mean, it's like blue or green!
This colour or that!
Choosing a shirt.
Look, if I wanted help, I don't.
But if I did...
Ah! Stuff it!
Yes! Right!
Good!
Oh, no.
Look, mate, I don't know
when you get your work done,
all this writing you do,
this deathless prose.
But me - when I can.
That is when people leave me alone.
Right?
Oh, loud and clear.
Right now, I've got a lot to do
and no time to do it.
Why don't you know?
Buzz off, will you? Like a good lad.
You should know. SHOUTS: What?
I'm here. Just look at me.
Can't you see?
What?
Oh... Buzz off.
Now, look, maybe it's just... Mm?
I love you.
Cathy's right, Robin.
You're really something of
a liability, you know.
Good company? That's right.
I was going out anyway.
Oh, yeah? Yes.
Well, you don't have to. Thanks.
Look, I'm making this
sort of casserole.
That's clever.
You are welcome to stay.
There's plenty.
No, I don't think I will,
thanks all the same.
All right.
You don't do much entertaining?
No. Peter?
Well, it's not his favourite way
of spending an evening.
You? I'm not mad about it either.
Just, like, the two of you,
together,
alone through all eternity.
That's right.
He talks to you, does he?
When he's got something to say.
Not when he hasn't?
Well, for myself,
if there's nothing to say,
I prefer a bit of quiet.
Surrender.
We take no prisoners.
Consider yourself dead.
One thing about Peter... Hmm?
Well, he never had a great deal
to say for himself.
Ooh, I don't know about that.
Now, just vast acres of silence.
What?
I mean, I don't suppose
he has much to talk about.
Oh?
I mean, you see, when I knew him,
when I really knew him,
he used to talk nothing else
but painting.
Yeah?
I must have been to more
exhibitions with Peter
than you've had hot dinners.
He still manages, just occasionally,
you know, to get to an exhibition.
Oh, good. Mm.
It has been known, not too often,
you understand,
but sometimes for me
to go with him.
I didn't know you were interested.
Oh, dear.
What? Not up to
your usual standard, is it?
I mean, rather obvious,
don't you think?
I don't understand what you mean.
OK, fine.
No, I suppose what I was trying
to say was, well, Peter...
Yeah. ..I mean once
he gave up painting,
I mean, that's the only thing
he really cares about! Is it?
Well, how long did he work?
Study at it?
I don't know.
That's when YOU really knew him.
You tell me.
Well, I suppose it is only natural
that he should just react
against it.
Cut himself off.
Always assuming that he...
That he...
That he gave it up
against his will.
I suppose so.
Oh, in a good cause...
..but still, against his will.
Well...
How did you find that?
No, well, it's not everyone
can fancy it.
Still, if you give it a chance,
you might surprise yourself.
Come on.
Don't! What's the matter?
Are you pushed for time?
I'm sorry.
You want him.
You want to take him away from me.
All right - try.
I feel sorry for you.
I don't want to talk to you.
You can't talk to him.
I've seen you try.
I feel sorry for you.
MUSIC: Down The Mother Volga
by Kalinnikov
CLASSICAL STRINGS PLAY
When are you going to tell him?
I don't know.
I suppose...
What? I suppose, if it was ever
anything I liked...
What do you mean?
Well, if he ever played anything
I liked,
it might not be so bad. Oh.
You'll have to tell him.
I mean, you.
Thanks.
I mean, I can't. No.
For pity's sake, I do most of
the things around here -
the unpleasant things.
I know, I know. This time,
I'm sorry.
He's my friend.
Yes.
Well, it's not as if...
Suppose he could find another place
to go to soon enough.
I should think he could afford to.
Just about.
And in the ordinary way...
All right.
I'll talk to him.
UPBEAT MUSIC
CLASSICAL STRINGS PLAY
DOOR SLAMS SHUT
MUSIC ENDS
HE WHISTLES
HE RESUMES WHISTLING
WATER POURS
METALLIC CLANGING
THEY LAUGH
Hello, darling. What were you doing?
Heard you crashing about
in the kitchen.
What? In the kitchen. Oh.
Just making out
like a gentleman. What?
I was putting the kettle on.
Good grief!
Yeah, I was going
to make some coffee.
Wonders will never cease.
Well, there's no need. What?
There's no need to make coffee
because I'm taking you
both out to dinner.
Are you?! Oh, it's the least
I can do. Well, how marvellous!
And then I thought...a show.
Well, I'd better get spruced up!
A little make-up and some powder -
that's all the time you've got.
Oh, no. Oh, yes.
Don't want to be late. No.
No? I don't want to go.
Oh. Peter!
Thanks all the same.
Oh, I know you've got work to do.
Yes, that's right.
Oh, well, c'est la vie.
It certainly is.
Well, you go.
Don't let me stop you from going.
Don't be silly. Thanks.
If he's got the tickets...
I don't want to go without YOU.
Nothing personal. Oh, of course not.
Well, you'll have to lump it, then,
won't you? Because I'm not going.
Yes, I will.
Sorry. Oh, no, no, no. I should
have given you more warning.
Oh, well.
Are you OK?
# Do you ever get the feeling...? #
Look, do you mind, you know...?
Mind about what?
Getting out of here.
No, no, I don't mind. Thanks.
I shall sit in splendid isolation
at the Caprice.
I'll have the middle of three seats
at the Garrick.
I intend to make it
a very enjoyable evening. Good.
Well, you have fun, you two.
Sorry and all that.
Don't want to be unreasonable.
Oh, no.
It's just that Cathy and things...
Yeah, a maiden aunt coming to stay.
You must have the room. Yes, I know.
My dear old mate...
Yes, well... What, you'd rather
have the room, then? All right!
When?
The sooner, the better.
Well, I think Cathy,
the job and me...
Finds it a bit of a strain?
Yes, I think so.
And you?
It doesn't really impinge.
You know me.
Nothing really impinges.
Right, I'll get packed, then.
There's not that much of a rush.
Oh, yes, there is,
if I'm going to move.
There's a friend I can stay. I can
stay there. Yes, I might as well.
Of course, what I really should do
is find a room of my own
and set it up. That's...
That's what I should do. Yes.
I shan't, of course.
Well, I don't see why not.
Because it's not everybody that can
just live on their own like you.
The only thing is
about this friend...
Oh, he's marvellous.
You know, he talks.
All the time, he has to talk.
That should be a change for you.
He keeps making me
tell him everything.
A sort of compulsion.
One night,
he was listening and talking.
I understood about you. I...
I knew what you meant.
What? It was quite sudden.
Well, all the silent bit
and all the fear,
and I thought, "Yes, that's Pete,
"and he's not so very far from me."
I don't understand.
I do. Funny. Well,
you must tell me about it some day.
I don't have to because
you're all right, aren't you?
You're all right.
You're tucked away.
You're all right. Tick, tick, tick!
You're all right.
I mean, you're as safe as houses.
Wouldn't it have been marvellous
to have an incurable disease?
What? Don't you think so? No.
Well... Well, I'll let you get on.
Oh, you'll get your money,
by the way.
I haven't got it yet but,
as soon as I have, then...
Don't worry about it.
As soon as I have...
As I said, there's no rush.
Yeah, I know.
I don't want to be...
Unreasonable. Yes.
Well, I'll get on with this.
Look, Pete, just go now, will you?
Because I can be nice
for just so long.
You know?
THEY CHUCKLE
Welcome home. Yeah.
Hey... What?
..you're not working tonight?
No, I... No.
No. I just want to... I can't...!
Woo! You know?
No. Hardly dare say it.
Well, it's been a long, hard winter.
Yeah. Well...?
Ooh, you're getting quite brazen
about it... Oh, sure.
..as you get older. Thank you.
A girl doesn't get much pleasure.
If you've got complaints,
go see the...
SHE LAUGHS
Robin?
CHUCKLES: Hey, watch it -
you nearly had me think...
Robin?
DOOR CLOSES
DOOR CLOSES
Sorry, I... Cathy? I didn't mean...
Darling?
Excuse me.
Are you all right?
Come on, just a few minutes more.
Not much longer.
They think we murdered him.
Oh, no, Cathy.
You're hurting me!
Not long, I promise.
I'm sorry.
No, you're going to sleep.
Here, give us this.
Sleep, the doctor said,
and sleep it is, right?
Here.
Didn't walk all the way
to Piccadilly Circus for...
SHE GAGS
Try again. Come on.
SHE COUGHS
Right, then, sleep. Come on.
Open them or send them on?
This one's a bill.
HE CHUCKLES
DOORBELL RINGS
Er, hello? Can I help you?
Peter Young? Yes.
I wonder, can I speak to you?
Go ahead.
Might I come inside?
I don't know. Who are you?
Oh, my name's Philip Moss.
I'm a friend of Robin Fletcher.
But, er...
Er, yeah.
Come on in. Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Come in.
You can go into the sitting room.
Sorry, over there.
I'm sorry about that.
Excuse me, what did you say
your name was? Moss.
Philip Moss?
Are you a writer? Yes.
Shortest Way Home? Good God!
You wrote that? Yes, I did.
Does that mean to say
you've read it? Yes.
Won't you sit down? Thank you.
I should think that very probably
makes two of us. Three.
Robin always said you were
the two nicest people in the world.
Fans, he didn't tell me.
Well, I suppose
you must be wondering
why I'm here, imposing on you.
The fact is...
The fact is, after Robin left me,
came here to live, came to you,
I didn't see him very much.
I didn't see him again.
See, now I'm here
because I don't know...
I don't know anything.
Well, except I know
Robin killed himself.
I do know that. Yes.
Yes.
Apart from that,
I don't seem to know very much else.
I wonder, could you tell me?
It's difficult - I didn't know
his parents, obviously.
Only you.
I thought perhaps,
if you could tell me briefly,
just very briefly...
There isn't a great deal
I can tell you.
He killed himself. Why?
I don't know.
No.
He was leaving, you see?
And once he'd made up
his mind to go,
it was, you know, packed and away.
Yes. We went out for the evening.
We didn't...
We were coming back.
He'd left some records. Yes, I see.
When we came home...
..I went into the hall...
..and the door was open,
and I said, "Robin?" Yes.
I pushed the door and looked in...
..and I turned on the light and...
..there...
How? He cut the...
Sorry.
I wonder, would you mind,
could I take this?
Yes, of course. It is mine but,
in a way, I gave it to him.
Thank you very much.
Mr Moss, I'm sorry
if my behaviour seemed,
well, odd when you first arrived.
It's...
Perfect stranger at your doorbell.
Why shouldn't you? No.
Robin told us that
his name was Philip Moss.
He said he used it as a pen name
and that he wrote the story.
Did he? Yes.
I wonder why.
So, you see... Yes, I do.
It must have been
something of a shock,
really something of a shock.
Thank you.
I wonder... I wonder
why he should do that.
Something to do with you.
Well... He was very jealous of you.
Oh? Perhaps you didn't know that.
No. He was.
Never stopped talking about you.
Yes.
Well, goodbye. Mrs Young.
When you say you don't know
where you're going,
is it a fairly limited choice -
bedroom, bathroom, kitchen?
More like Paris, Florence, Rome.
More like.
Oh.
And you weren't thinking
I might come with you? No.
Yes, well, that's why
we never got married, isn't it?
Freedom. We must preserve
our freedom at all costs.
Give us a kiss and shut up.
Makes you feel better, does it,
walking out on the guilty party?
Applause, applause, applause!
You've got a simple mind!
You know, there are times...
There are positively times
when you remind me
of someone who shall be nameless.
I just don't want
to be here in this flat,
in this room with you,
when you can turn round and say,
"Must get back to work"...
Oh, I can see that...
..like nothing happened!
Bye. Have you thought...?
Oh, let me go. Yes, but, Cathy...
Please let me go!
But have you thought
the really unfair thing in all this?
He killed himself!
I mean, that, really!
What did he mean to us,
to you, to me, to anyone...
..and then kill himself?
Oh! You knew!
You knew what was going to happen!
You knew! So did you!
Kill himself?
I didn't know.
Well, that's the unfair thing.
I mean, well, lonely
and off on his own,
and...kill himself.
I'm going. I'm not stopping you!
DOORBELL RINGS
Hello, hello, hell...
SHE CHUCKLES
You're a bit mad, aren't you?
In the nicest possible way.
Yes. Can I come in?
Sure. Thanks.
Is Robin here?
Is he?
Oh. Oh, well.
Are we alone?
Yes. Mm, how exciting!
Well... What?
What are we going to do?
Hmm? I don't mind waiting for him,
but I like to be entertained.
I mean... He's dead.
What? Robin's dead.
No. Yes.
No! He's dead!
You shouldn't joke, you know? Look!
Here, he's dead. Robin - dead!
He killed himself with a knife,
here, on this bed.
He cut himself - his wrists,
his throat, and his throat...
SHE SOBS
With a knife, he tried...
The blood was up to there.
On the wall, up to there.
Blood!
He is dead!
Yes? Yes.
Not a lot of point in waiting,
is there? Peter...
SHE TRIES TO SHOUT
Not here!
Not here.
No.
LAUGHTER
LAUGHTER GETS LOUDER
LAUGHTER FADES
Peter?
Peter, where are you? In here.
Look. What?
That.
Is it a map?
No. What about that?
It's a sort of plant, isn't it?
All in pieces.
Yes.
What do you want now?
Hey, take it easy!
My goodness!
Huh? Didn't notice.
Turned over and there you were,
gone.
Mm-hm. Simply didn't notice, sorry.
That's all right. I mean,
if I'd known, I'd have got up,
made a cup of coffee.
It's 8:00, you know.
8:00.
Yeah.
What would you like for breakfast
this bright morning, hmm?
Oh!
That is the one thing...
Well, it would be, wouldn't it?
The one thing I haven't got.
Still, we can always go out
and buy it.
I mean, specially, and after all,
you are a man at work.
You must be fed inspiration.
Hey, what is all this? Nonsense.
I thought so. What happened?
Nothing. Coffee and toast
for breakfast? Thank you.
Coming up.
Hey.
Good morning.
Oh, and a very good morning
to you, too.
Have you finished?
Nope.
Aren't you going to?
No, not yet. I don't feel...
Oh, darling, I'm sorry.
What?
Well, it was me, I suppose.
No. Barging in, acting the goat.
No, sweetie, it wasn't.
I just don't feel...
Oh, you know.
Hey, boo!
I'm sorry.
Oh, not to worry.
It's always worth taking out
ten minutes for the cabaret.
Oh, you too?
When's it supposed to be finished?
Today. Sometime today.
It's one of the lot I'm taking in
tomorrow morning.
Oh, well. I'll finish it.
Of course you will.
You always do.
Hello, hello, hello.
And who might that be?
I don't know. Mao Tse-tung?
Is it? Well, he said he might
drop in, nothing definite.
Well, you better answer
the door then, hadn't you?
What? Send me in my deshabille?
DOORBELL CONTINUES RINGING
Oh, boy.
Other people's houses,
the phone rings, they answer it.
The doorbell, they open it.
You, a production already.
Morning.
Oh, for good night.
Well, it's giving the haste, don't
you think, for the time of year?
Who is it?
Can I come in, do you think?
Come in. Yes, come on in,
for crying out loud.
Come on.
Who is it?
Cathy?
Robin? Yes.
Darling!
SHE LAUGHS JOYOUSLY
Well, I have been known to
use that name.
Oh, well, it's good to see you.
Yes.
Well, this, this is nice.
Well, we must do this more often.
Where the devil
have you sprung from?
From the north, the north,
the far frozen north.
Come.
Come and sit down.
Via Euston, of course.
They threw me off about
half past seven.
What, this morning? Yes.
What, you travelled down overnight?
Yes. A nice trip?
Yes.
Well, not bad,
not bad at all, really.
Why didn't you let us know
you were coming?
You'd have baked a cake, would you?
Or put on some make-up.
Oh, lovely. You look lovely. Oh.
You know what I thought, you know,
it's a waste of time telephoning.
So I thought I'd surprise you,
surprise you.
You did that.
No, I thought a card
or perhaps even a letter -
"I am on my way."
You must be mad.
She must be mad.
What have you done to her?
Well, are you staying a while,
are you, staying?
Well, to tell you the truth, Pete...
Staying with us?
I'd like to.
Well, you wouldn't be making
the weary traveller
a sustaining a cup of coffee,
would you?
Yeah, 'course.
No sooner said than done.
How much do you charge,
bed and breakfast?
Oh, reasonable, you know,
very reasonable.
Oh, well, if the service is good,
I may stay a wee while.
Well, how are you?
All right.
You know, keeping busy.
Good.
You're painting? Hmm?
Painting.
Oh.
Well, how's it going?
Are you, you keeping busy?
Well, as a matter of fact, no.
I mean, yes.
Well, I'm all right,
but no, I'm not keeping busy.
Well, holidays already?
No, no.
I thought it was a shade early.
No, I packed it in, did I tell you?
No.
Oh, yes. I'll never be
a teacher, me. Never.
I found that out.
Took a bit of time,
but the penny dropped.
I mean, in the end,
the penny dropped.
Yes, well, it may come as
a complete shock to you, mate,
but I haven't heard a word
out of you in two years,
near enough. Is it two years?
Near enough.
You must think
I've been avoiding you.
Well, I thought perhaps
you'd lost the address.
Very likely.
Now, what's this, then?
Oh, it's just something
I'm trying to get finished.
Mm-hm.
What is it?
Oh, it's a diagram,
you know, an illustration.
Is it?
It's for a biological textbook.
It's not finished yet.
That's not what you do.
I mean, now, is that what...? Yes.
Peter, for God's sake. What?
The time, the time,
why didn't you tell me the time?
What is the time?
It's late, late, late.
Oh, well, bad luck.
Late for work, Cathy?
Oh, work, I'm always late,
but this morning,
I'll be lucky if I get there
before they start chucking us out.
Well, there's a simple answer
to that. Don't bother going.
Oh, thank you very much. I've done
that twice already this month.
Well, you'd better get dressed
and get going, hadn't you?
Yes, only what I wanted to say was
you have to manage without me this
morning. Get your own breakfast.
It won't kill me. Ha, won't it?
No, look, Cathy, don't
bother about us.
I'll take him out and buy him
some breakfast. Oh?
So you just get on and forget
about us, OK? Will you?
Hmm, well. We can go on
and get ourselves a cup of coffee.
Well, no, I shan't bother.
Oh, look, you'll just have to
fight it out among yourselves,
because I've got to get dressed.
Oh, come on, Pete.
No. Come on, half an hour.
Look, I don't want to.
Well, that can't be that urgent,
surely to God.
Yes, it is.
Oh, come on.
Look, if you want some breakfast,
go and get it.
I'll be here when you get back.
I'll have it finished by then.
What, this great work of art?
That's right.
Well, I certainly wouldn't
want to come between a man
and his inspiration.
No.
You made up your minds yet?
Yes, I'm staying here.
Robin's going out.
Surprise, surprise!
Have you made the coffee yet?
Boiled the water.
Oh, well done.
Oh, and there's some toast there.
It's cold. It's better for you.
Peter? Yes?
Have you got any money?
Not much. Oh, well, I was thinking
if you could lend me a pound,
then I could take a taxi.
Oh, yes!
Can you?
Well, have a look in my wallet.
You've got it in the bedroom.
Aha, £3.
Well, you'd better take one of them,
then, hadn't you?
You wouldn't want them finding out
just how well they can manage
without you. I'll pay you back.
Yes, you will.
Look, Robin, old son. I'm sor...
Of course, I'm, I'm not an artist,
but I think that improves it,
don't you, on the whole?
Oh, boy.
Peter, would you...?
What happened? Him.
My friend, my good friend
from the north. But...
He happened.
You take chances, don't you, mate?
You take your chances.
Look, what's going on?
On my way over here, I saw a cafe
that was open, and I thought then
you could probably get
a good breakfast there.
I hate London. Hmm?
London, oh, God, I hate it.
You make up your mind
a bit sudden, don't you?
It's a filthy place. You've only
just got here, give it a chance.
Yes.
Yes... Robin. "..and dream of
London, small and white and clean.
"The clear Thames,
bordered by its gardens green."
Oh, yes.
Only it's not like that.
No. No.
You're wandering a bit,
aren't you, mate?
What, wear out the carpet, will I?
Not what I meant, is it?
I don't suppose so.
You're damn right.
I missed you.
What's the matter? Oh!
Well?
Just something,
something's the matter.
Yes, I've noticed.
Well, do you want to
tell me about it?
I want to.
All right, then.
You have my undivided attention.
Oh, drop dead.
What? "Well, doctor,
I have this pain. Can you...?"
All right. "Undivided attention."
I was just trying...
Yes, I know. I'm not worthy...
You know, sometimes you make me
want to spit right in your face.
Oh, yeah?
I didn't know.
PHONE RINGS
Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that.
Hmm.
I mean, I just said it.
PHONE CONTINUES RINGING
SLAMS DOOR
Hey?
Thompson.
Oh? Well, you know.
The editor of the magazine.
The man who's waiting for these.
Can he have them this afternoon?
Can he?
Sorry.
What?
Well, the drawing.
Oh. I didn't think.
No.
Don't you want to know why I...?
I thought it was a pretty typical
adolescent attempt
to draw attention to yourself.
Yes, I suppose so.
I mean... Yes, that's right.
Hmm.
You are pleased to see me?
As a matter of fact, I am, yes.
I believe you.
Yeah. You're maddening, you.
You interrupt all the time.
Still, I miss you when you're not
around driving me potty.
Can you, can you stand the thought
of me living here?
Can you stand that?
Well, I don't know
where else you can go.
No.
Anyway, it's Cathy's problem,
isn't it?
Eh?
Well, I mean, paying guests,
non-paying guests.
They all come under the general
heading of "housekeeping".
Look, it's a dreary job, the
dreariest. I do it for the money.
So there's another reason.
Well, that's why I'm here,
after all.
Come to make me fortune.
Oh, yeah.
Streets paved with gold.
Well, you've come to the wrong
place. Oh, I don't know.
I don't know, refrigerator.
Oh, it's the climate, you see.
Electric cooker.
Now, I can...
Higher level grill.
It depends on the level of your
eyes, of course. Electric kettle.
Every home... What's this, then?
Oh, you see, when it boils,
it switches itself off, stops it.
Oh, they're clever, you know,
they're definitely clever,
these Chinese.
I burned the bottom out of three
kettles before Peter bought...
Oh, now, Robin, please.
Vacuum cleaner.
Enough's enough.
Well, that's pretty splendid.
Yes. Any other goodies hidden away?
I don't think so.
Electric toaster.
Cuts down the fire risk.
Here, Peter must be doing all right.
Hey! You'll be doing
all right then, mate.
Making a tiny bomb, that's all.
No need to come up on the pools,
have you?
Come on. Get out of the way.
Just bringing it in, OK?
Yeah, sure.
Fine.
Did I tell you why I came to London?
To make your fortune?
No.
You see, I sold this story.
What story? A short story.
I sold it to a magazine.
Did I tell you?
No. No, you didn't. How marvellous!
Yes, I bought myself a ticket to
London with the proceeds.
Well, can we read it?
Have you got a copy?
Oh, well, it just so happens that
I have 5,000 gross in my suitcase.
CATHY CHUCKLES
To hear is to obey.
Tra-la!
What are you two doing in there?
Hang on, love.
What was going on in the kitchen?
Robin has sold a short story.
Oh, well, it's not terribly good.
Have you?
Are you sure, old chap?
I mean, is it polite
to sound so surprised?
Well, where is it, then?
Let's see it.
Oh, let me see.
Let me see.
Thank you.
When did this happen?
A wee while ago.
Clever, aren't you?
Well, as I've said,
it's not terribly good.
I'm sure it's absolutely splendid.
Only where the hell is it?
Oh, I'm sorry, love, here.
I had to use a pen name.
Huh? Yeah. Why?
Shortest Way Home.
Well, the Head felt I had more than
enough to do teaching...
Philip Moss?
..without, you know, wasting my
precious time writing. Oh!
What's the matter?
Nothing. You got a cigarette?
No, I don't smoke.
Oh, come on. I know that.
Don't... Cathy? Here. Thanks.
Philip Moss. Let's see.
Robin Fletcher's better.
Oh, yeah?
Well, it's more like you.
No, well, you know, it got where I
was more teaching in my spare time,
you know? And writing,
that's what mattered.
Oh, what the hell?
I'm not there any more.
What, on the strength of this?
Yes, well, look,
it's only London, Peter.
It's not the South Seas.
I sold this story and I thought,
"Right...", I thought,
"..that it, get off.
"I mean, that's what I want to do.
What the hell am I doing here?"
Now, if you want to do something
badly enough, you've got to do it.
You have got to.
UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS IN BACKGROUND
Echo il leoni.
Hello.
Mike, you don't know Pete.
No. Hello.
Hello.
Peter Young, artist extraordinaire.
Known to his friends as "Moneybags".
You had a good day?
Not particularly. It was raining.
The colours ran.
Nobody stopped,
and I was moved on three times.
Net profit - a tenner, two thrupenny
bits and six Irish pennies.
Are you a pavement artist?
Are you?
No. Are you staying long?
No, no, my dear old mate,
we're just off just this minute.
Well, don't let me drive you out.
No, no.
TURNS OFF MUSIC
CLAPS HANDS
Promised to feed you tonight,
didn't I? Yes.
Well, always keep my promises.
Known for it.
I like that.
That, yes, I like that.
I would have liked to hear it all.
Well, now I'm just terribly sorry
about that, you know?
Terribly sorry.
Well, another time.
No, I tell you what.
I'll go out again, I mean,
it's no bother. I'll go. You stay.
Come on, Mike.
Peter? In here.
I'm sorry, darling.
It's all that terrible traffic. I
thought I'd be home miles before...
My wife.
Oh, Mike, meet Cathy.
Hello. Hello to you.
Party? No, no, no, no.
We're just off, actually. They
just popped in out of the rain.
Goodbye.
Well, don't wait up.
We won't. Have fun.
Bye.
Whee! Should, uh,
should I perhaps know her?
I don't think so.
Do you? No. Then how the hell...?
I mean, how did she come to be here?
Well, assuming she didn't come
by post, I think Robin
must have brought her in, don't you?
She was here?
CHUCKLES
I mean when you got home,
she was here with Robin.
They were listening to a record.
Oh, sure.
Well, at least when I got here,
they were listening to a record.
Oh, for God's sake.
I had the distinct feeling
I was intruding.
Do you think he makes a habit of it?
What? Do you?
I don't know. No.
Well, supposing he does. What?
Do you mind?
Yes. Yes, I do mind.
Oh! I do mind.
All right. Well, don't you?
No, I don't...
I don't really care
one way or the other.
Ugh. You know what?
What?
You sound just the tiniest
bit jealous.
Don't be stupid.
What else?
This is our home, all this.
It's our home.
He has no right bringing in...
He's our guest.
Well, she's not. No.
Well, is she? For pity's sake.
I won't have it. Obviously.
And it's not funny.
No.
Hey, didn't know you felt like this.
No.
Neither did I.
If you can, you know,
just if you can.
How much more?
Can you make it 20?
You're not serious?
Yes.
Where do you think I'm going to get
£20...? You.
Sorry.
No, you're right.
Look around you.
I mean, sure, I can afford
to give you £20.
Only when am I likely
to get it back?
You'll get it back. Oh, good.
I don't know when. No.
OK, all right. I'm sorry I asked.
Come on, break off my arms,
I tried to borrow some money.
Well, what do you want it for?
Oh, no.
Look, please, just forget it.
I didn't actually say no.
Rich gifts wax poor.
Oh, come on.
Surely you can do better than that.
Even I know where it comes from.
"Whene'er I take my walks abroad,
How many poor I see!
SINGS:
# "What shall I render to my God
# "For all his gifts to me?" #
Oh, I hate that.
Yeah, I'm not mad about it myself.
Can you put the stool at the foot
of the bed, please? Thank you.
Trying to improve his mind?
Pointing the way a little.
He has this vocation to be
a teacher. Oh, no, I don't.
I mean, calmly, simply, no, I don't.
Right, he has no vocation to be
a teacher. Thank you.
Just a load of rubbish
cluttering up his mind.
And an irresistible urge
to push it out, yes.
Very profitable way to spend
a Sunday morning.
As for you...
What?
Yuch!
What? What have I done?
Oh! Cathy, what have I done?
Do you know... No. ..what I've done?
Mr Philip Moss?
What? Philip Moss's first play.
See all about it.
Oh, yes...
"Oh, yes," he says,
calm as you please.
Play?
First play!
Well, I didn't know.
I thought it was next week. Look.
Where? There!
But when they spoke to me,
they said it was next week.
Well, they must have been
short of news.
Yes. It doesn't say much.
What's it all about?
Well, if you've got
a couple of hours to spare,
I'll tell you the plot. Yes. OK.
No, hang on, we'll have some coffee.
Make ourselves comfortable.
Congratulations, Philip, old chap.
Well, thank you, dear lady.
Yeah! Congratulations.
LAUGHTER
PARTY NOISE IN BACKGROUND
Oh, all the same...
Those people! I know! Noise!
And talk!
Yeah, there was one woman...
I saw! I saw her!
I didn't think it was possible.
Oh!
Oh, it was an inspiration
coming out here.
That, my love, is when you have
inspiration, when you're cornered.
You know, at one point
I looked around and I thought,
"I honestly do not think I know
a single one of you."
I'm damned certain I didn't.
It's funny, you know, I thought
you were supposed to know people
when you went to a party -
some of them at least.
Well, you could hardly say
we went to this party, could you?
I mean, it more came to us,
didn't it?
When I opened the door,
I looked at them all...
LAUGHTER
I looked at them all and Robin said,
"I've brought a small party."
So I said, "Where is he?"
Oh, it was a terrible mistake.
They roared with laughter
and swept in.
You, um...
You didn't, by any chance, manage
to bring some cigarettes with you,
did you? Oh, hang on. Mm?
I think I did.
Oh, angel, thank you very much.
It's entirely a pleasure. Thank you.
LOUD MALE LAUGHTER
Hey, you know, for someone
who's only been in London
a couple of weeks, he knows
a fair whack of people, doesn't he?
Seems to, mmm.
It's a funny thing, though.
I got the feeling -
just sort of an impression...
What? Well, they didn't seem to
know each other
any more than we knew them.
Just an impression. I suppose
we're being sensible, are we?
How do you mean?
Leaving that lot in there? Oh.
You don't think they'll break
the place up? Yes, I do.
Still, I don't see what we'd do.
I mean, I don't fancy our chances
against that crew.
Hey!
It's not desperate, you know?
I mean, there's not a lot
they can do in the way of damage.
Peter...
No, he can't.
You'll have to talk to him.
Well, I'm going to.
I mean... Friendship goes so far,
and this is quite far enough.
I think so.
It's nice out here.
I don't know about that.
Relatively, of course.
Are you jealous of Robin?
What?
Are you? No.
Yeah.
I thought you were joking.
Thought so.
Hey, hey, hey.
Just wanted to make sure.
Oh, boo-boo there, old buddy.
You're jealous of Robin.
You're acting as if I said
something. You did. No!
Look, no hands.
I'm not jealous of Robin Fletcher.
Why should I be jealous of him?
Now, where shall I start?
Well, he's got you.
I mean, he's got a home.
He's got everything in his home
he could possibly want.
He's got you.
He's got a job doing exactly
what he wants for which he is paid.
He's got you.
In addition to the vast sums
he earns,
he's got a large supplementary
income earned for him by you.
Most of the time, he lives a quiet
life in idyllic surroundings
provided for him by you.
Now, could it be...?
Could it possibly be I'm getting him
confused with somebody else?
Jealous?
I'm sorry.
Jealous?
If it wasn't so funny,
it would be pathetic! Peter.
Jealous of you and Robin? Darling...
What? You'll have to do better
than that.
That's not what I meant.
Oh, steady...!
Thanks.
Not much left, is there?
Oh, charming. Well, is there?
Now, don't start that again.
If you're going to moan...
Lipstick. Oh, I give up.
What makes you ask a stupid
question like that, anyway?
Stupid? Well, Robin and you.
That's NOT what I meant. No?
I meant Robin and you.
Don't you envy him?
What? Success.
Is he a success?
No, I mean, is he really?
Well, he's doing
what he wants to do.
Well, so? Why should I envy him?
I'm doing what I want to do.
Are you?
Don't you listen to any...?
You're getting more like him
every...
Are you doing what you want?
Everlasting questioning.
SHOUTS: Yes, I am! Really!
All right.
Well, of course, if I wasn't,
there wouldn't be a great deal
I could do about it, would there?
Well...
No, that's what you mean, isn't it?
That's what you meant all the time.
That's what all the questions
are really about.
Am I sacrificing myself
on the altar of...?
Get stuffed.
I'm sorry.
It's not your fault.
Argh!
We were having such a nice time.
Hmm.
I wish.... Oh!
You're striding out of your class,
that's all. What?
Well...
Did you really think that was
your very own bright little notion?
Yes. No.
Robin - ask him the jealousy
question, why don't you?
You know?
I know Robin.
All right, then. I like him.
You know what he's trying to do?
It's not too difficult, is it?
I mean, you don't have to be
particularly clever... Oh, Peter!
..which I'm very definitely not.
What are you going to do about it?
Nothing.
You don't mind?
Oh, sweetie, as long as we know,
what harm can he possibly do?
Ohhh...
Anyway, what's more to the point,
where else can he go? Hmm?
I don't know.
Sad, isn't it?
It's just a bit sad.
JAZZ MUSIC IN BACKGROUND
Did you enjoy the party?
What?
Did you have a good time?
No.
Oh, I'm sorry. I did.
I'm glad.
SINGS: # Somewhere
over the rainbow... #
You know, just this morning,
I have a feeling that our Peter
doesn't like little Robin very much.
You could have something there, too.
Yes. You busy, are you?
Got things to do? Yes.
Man of affairs -
in the nicest possible way,
of course. Oh, of course.
You're laughing, aren't you?
I mean, deep down inside.
Now, come on, admit it.
You are laughing.
# There's a land
that I dreamed of... #
You don't like smoking, do you?
Smoking.
I don't smoke.
You don't like smoking.
Did I say anything?
Other people smoking. Go ahead.
I don't mind. Yes, you do. No.
Anybody can see that. Can they? Yes.
I shall have to try it a bit harder,
won't I?
Take a bit more trouble.
Is it the smell?
I see no sign of Cathy giving it up.
Or the mess?
Look. What the hell
are we talking about?
Nothing in particular.
No. Conversation, Peter.
The gentle art.
Well, two minutes' silence
isn't the end of the world.
I mean, not for me.
Ah, yes, but then, as we all know,
you're more than a bit special,
aren't you? Mm.
No more than a bit?
Oh, come on in, Pete.
The water's lovely.
Here we go again.
Are you going to stay stood
on the bank all day, are you?
You just lost me.
No. You see, there are just
some things I can talk about.
Some when it's light, daylight,
high noon and that.
And I fear no more.
That would make a smashing musical,
don't you think?
Hey? What?
Some... some swinging lyrics,
this old bloke...
I mean, he's not old, actually,
more blind.
Only it's not funny.
Kind of tragic and sexy, too,
because, like I said, he's not old.
And he's got this big number.
Eyeless, and it's a big, big, big
production number,
full stage, 50 on the chorus.
Slaves, and the girls!
Oh, Pete.
Now, I have the feeling that
I'm not getting through to you,
Petey, old son.
One word in ten.
Oh, no, it's not the words,
and I repeat,
here we go again.
No, it's not the words.
I'm going to have a fag.
You don't mind.
# There's a land
that I dreamed of ... #
Here...
HE STRIKES A MATCH
Thanks.
Look, I'm, like, trying.
Argh! I'm sorry.
That's naughty, naughty!
Cathy spank.
Yes, I know, Pete.
Talk, talk, talk. I know.
I wonder if you had the gift
of words...
..what would you say?
Jump off!
Very likely.
Why, oh, then, why can't I?
I don't know.
It's a song. Yeah.
Look, do you want to
say something to me?
Something important? Is that it?
Do you?
Mm? Do you?
No... Yes.
No, look, not if I...
Look, don't do me no favours.
All right.
Look, Pete, my dear old man.
Now, come on, Robin,
be a bit serious!
SHOUTS: What do you think?
I mean, it's like blue or green!
This colour or that!
Choosing a shirt.
Look, if I wanted help, I don't.
But if I did...
Ah! Stuff it!
Yes! Right!
Good!
Oh, no.
Look, mate, I don't know
when you get your work done,
all this writing you do,
this deathless prose.
But me - when I can.
That is when people leave me alone.
Right?
Oh, loud and clear.
Right now, I've got a lot to do
and no time to do it.
Why don't you know?
Buzz off, will you? Like a good lad.
You should know. SHOUTS: What?
I'm here. Just look at me.
Can't you see?
What?
Oh... Buzz off.
Now, look, maybe it's just... Mm?
I love you.
Cathy's right, Robin.
You're really something of
a liability, you know.
Good company? That's right.
I was going out anyway.
Oh, yeah? Yes.
Well, you don't have to. Thanks.
Look, I'm making this
sort of casserole.
That's clever.
You are welcome to stay.
There's plenty.
No, I don't think I will,
thanks all the same.
All right.
You don't do much entertaining?
No. Peter?
Well, it's not his favourite way
of spending an evening.
You? I'm not mad about it either.
Just, like, the two of you,
together,
alone through all eternity.
That's right.
He talks to you, does he?
When he's got something to say.
Not when he hasn't?
Well, for myself,
if there's nothing to say,
I prefer a bit of quiet.
Surrender.
We take no prisoners.
Consider yourself dead.
One thing about Peter... Hmm?
Well, he never had a great deal
to say for himself.
Ooh, I don't know about that.
Now, just vast acres of silence.
What?
I mean, I don't suppose
he has much to talk about.
Oh?
I mean, you see, when I knew him,
when I really knew him,
he used to talk nothing else
but painting.
Yeah?
I must have been to more
exhibitions with Peter
than you've had hot dinners.
He still manages, just occasionally,
you know, to get to an exhibition.
Oh, good. Mm.
It has been known, not too often,
you understand,
but sometimes for me
to go with him.
I didn't know you were interested.
Oh, dear.
What? Not up to
your usual standard, is it?
I mean, rather obvious,
don't you think?
I don't understand what you mean.
OK, fine.
No, I suppose what I was trying
to say was, well, Peter...
Yeah. ..I mean once
he gave up painting,
I mean, that's the only thing
he really cares about! Is it?
Well, how long did he work?
Study at it?
I don't know.
That's when YOU really knew him.
You tell me.
Well, I suppose it is only natural
that he should just react
against it.
Cut himself off.
Always assuming that he...
That he...
That he gave it up
against his will.
I suppose so.
Oh, in a good cause...
..but still, against his will.
Well...
How did you find that?
No, well, it's not everyone
can fancy it.
Still, if you give it a chance,
you might surprise yourself.
Come on.
Don't! What's the matter?
Are you pushed for time?
I'm sorry.
You want him.
You want to take him away from me.
All right - try.
I feel sorry for you.
I don't want to talk to you.
You can't talk to him.
I've seen you try.
I feel sorry for you.
MUSIC: Down The Mother Volga
by Kalinnikov
CLASSICAL STRINGS PLAY
When are you going to tell him?
I don't know.
I suppose...
What? I suppose, if it was ever
anything I liked...
What do you mean?
Well, if he ever played anything
I liked,
it might not be so bad. Oh.
You'll have to tell him.
I mean, you.
Thanks.
I mean, I can't. No.
For pity's sake, I do most of
the things around here -
the unpleasant things.
I know, I know. This time,
I'm sorry.
He's my friend.
Yes.
Well, it's not as if...
Suppose he could find another place
to go to soon enough.
I should think he could afford to.
Just about.
And in the ordinary way...
All right.
I'll talk to him.
UPBEAT MUSIC
CLASSICAL STRINGS PLAY
DOOR SLAMS SHUT
MUSIC ENDS
HE WHISTLES
HE RESUMES WHISTLING
WATER POURS
METALLIC CLANGING
THEY LAUGH
Hello, darling. What were you doing?
Heard you crashing about
in the kitchen.
What? In the kitchen. Oh.
Just making out
like a gentleman. What?
I was putting the kettle on.
Good grief!
Yeah, I was going
to make some coffee.
Wonders will never cease.
Well, there's no need. What?
There's no need to make coffee
because I'm taking you
both out to dinner.
Are you?! Oh, it's the least
I can do. Well, how marvellous!
And then I thought...a show.
Well, I'd better get spruced up!
A little make-up and some powder -
that's all the time you've got.
Oh, no. Oh, yes.
Don't want to be late. No.
No? I don't want to go.
Oh. Peter!
Thanks all the same.
Oh, I know you've got work to do.
Yes, that's right.
Oh, well, c'est la vie.
It certainly is.
Well, you go.
Don't let me stop you from going.
Don't be silly. Thanks.
If he's got the tickets...
I don't want to go without YOU.
Nothing personal. Oh, of course not.
Well, you'll have to lump it, then,
won't you? Because I'm not going.
Yes, I will.
Sorry. Oh, no, no, no. I should
have given you more warning.
Oh, well.
Are you OK?
# Do you ever get the feeling...? #
Look, do you mind, you know...?
Mind about what?
Getting out of here.
No, no, I don't mind. Thanks.
I shall sit in splendid isolation
at the Caprice.
I'll have the middle of three seats
at the Garrick.
I intend to make it
a very enjoyable evening. Good.
Well, you have fun, you two.
Sorry and all that.
Don't want to be unreasonable.
Oh, no.
It's just that Cathy and things...
Yeah, a maiden aunt coming to stay.
You must have the room. Yes, I know.
My dear old mate...
Yes, well... What, you'd rather
have the room, then? All right!
When?
The sooner, the better.
Well, I think Cathy,
the job and me...
Finds it a bit of a strain?
Yes, I think so.
And you?
It doesn't really impinge.
You know me.
Nothing really impinges.
Right, I'll get packed, then.
There's not that much of a rush.
Oh, yes, there is,
if I'm going to move.
There's a friend I can stay. I can
stay there. Yes, I might as well.
Of course, what I really should do
is find a room of my own
and set it up. That's...
That's what I should do. Yes.
I shan't, of course.
Well, I don't see why not.
Because it's not everybody that can
just live on their own like you.
The only thing is
about this friend...
Oh, he's marvellous.
You know, he talks.
All the time, he has to talk.
That should be a change for you.
He keeps making me
tell him everything.
A sort of compulsion.
One night,
he was listening and talking.
I understood about you. I...
I knew what you meant.
What? It was quite sudden.
Well, all the silent bit
and all the fear,
and I thought, "Yes, that's Pete,
"and he's not so very far from me."
I don't understand.
I do. Funny. Well,
you must tell me about it some day.
I don't have to because
you're all right, aren't you?
You're all right.
You're tucked away.
You're all right. Tick, tick, tick!
You're all right.
I mean, you're as safe as houses.
Wouldn't it have been marvellous
to have an incurable disease?
What? Don't you think so? No.
Well... Well, I'll let you get on.
Oh, you'll get your money,
by the way.
I haven't got it yet but,
as soon as I have, then...
Don't worry about it.
As soon as I have...
As I said, there's no rush.
Yeah, I know.
I don't want to be...
Unreasonable. Yes.
Well, I'll get on with this.
Look, Pete, just go now, will you?
Because I can be nice
for just so long.
You know?
THEY CHUCKLE
Welcome home. Yeah.
Hey... What?
..you're not working tonight?
No, I... No.
No. I just want to... I can't...!
Woo! You know?
No. Hardly dare say it.
Well, it's been a long, hard winter.
Yeah. Well...?
Ooh, you're getting quite brazen
about it... Oh, sure.
..as you get older. Thank you.
A girl doesn't get much pleasure.
If you've got complaints,
go see the...
SHE LAUGHS
Robin?
CHUCKLES: Hey, watch it -
you nearly had me think...
Robin?
DOOR CLOSES
DOOR CLOSES
Sorry, I... Cathy? I didn't mean...
Darling?
Excuse me.
Are you all right?
Come on, just a few minutes more.
Not much longer.
They think we murdered him.
Oh, no, Cathy.
You're hurting me!
Not long, I promise.
I'm sorry.
No, you're going to sleep.
Here, give us this.
Sleep, the doctor said,
and sleep it is, right?
Here.
Didn't walk all the way
to Piccadilly Circus for...
SHE GAGS
Try again. Come on.
SHE COUGHS
Right, then, sleep. Come on.
Open them or send them on?
This one's a bill.
HE CHUCKLES
DOORBELL RINGS
Er, hello? Can I help you?
Peter Young? Yes.
I wonder, can I speak to you?
Go ahead.
Might I come inside?
I don't know. Who are you?
Oh, my name's Philip Moss.
I'm a friend of Robin Fletcher.
But, er...
Er, yeah.
Come on in. Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Come in.
You can go into the sitting room.
Sorry, over there.
I'm sorry about that.
Excuse me, what did you say
your name was? Moss.
Philip Moss?
Are you a writer? Yes.
Shortest Way Home? Good God!
You wrote that? Yes, I did.
Does that mean to say
you've read it? Yes.
Won't you sit down? Thank you.
I should think that very probably
makes two of us. Three.
Robin always said you were
the two nicest people in the world.
Fans, he didn't tell me.
Well, I suppose
you must be wondering
why I'm here, imposing on you.
The fact is...
The fact is, after Robin left me,
came here to live, came to you,
I didn't see him very much.
I didn't see him again.
See, now I'm here
because I don't know...
I don't know anything.
Well, except I know
Robin killed himself.
I do know that. Yes.
Yes.
Apart from that,
I don't seem to know very much else.
I wonder, could you tell me?
It's difficult - I didn't know
his parents, obviously.
Only you.
I thought perhaps,
if you could tell me briefly,
just very briefly...
There isn't a great deal
I can tell you.
He killed himself. Why?
I don't know.
No.
He was leaving, you see?
And once he'd made up
his mind to go,
it was, you know, packed and away.
Yes. We went out for the evening.
We didn't...
We were coming back.
He'd left some records. Yes, I see.
When we came home...
..I went into the hall...
..and the door was open,
and I said, "Robin?" Yes.
I pushed the door and looked in...
..and I turned on the light and...
..there...
How? He cut the...
Sorry.
I wonder, would you mind,
could I take this?
Yes, of course. It is mine but,
in a way, I gave it to him.
Thank you very much.
Mr Moss, I'm sorry
if my behaviour seemed,
well, odd when you first arrived.
It's...
Perfect stranger at your doorbell.
Why shouldn't you? No.
Robin told us that
his name was Philip Moss.
He said he used it as a pen name
and that he wrote the story.
Did he? Yes.
I wonder why.
So, you see... Yes, I do.
It must have been
something of a shock,
really something of a shock.
Thank you.
I wonder... I wonder
why he should do that.
Something to do with you.
Well... He was very jealous of you.
Oh? Perhaps you didn't know that.
No. He was.
Never stopped talking about you.
Yes.
Well, goodbye. Mrs Young.
When you say you don't know
where you're going,
is it a fairly limited choice -
bedroom, bathroom, kitchen?
More like Paris, Florence, Rome.
More like.
Oh.
And you weren't thinking
I might come with you? No.
Yes, well, that's why
we never got married, isn't it?
Freedom. We must preserve
our freedom at all costs.
Give us a kiss and shut up.
Makes you feel better, does it,
walking out on the guilty party?
Applause, applause, applause!
You've got a simple mind!
You know, there are times...
There are positively times
when you remind me
of someone who shall be nameless.
I just don't want
to be here in this flat,
in this room with you,
when you can turn round and say,
"Must get back to work"...
Oh, I can see that...
..like nothing happened!
Bye. Have you thought...?
Oh, let me go. Yes, but, Cathy...
Please let me go!
But have you thought
the really unfair thing in all this?
He killed himself!
I mean, that, really!
What did he mean to us,
to you, to me, to anyone...
..and then kill himself?
Oh! You knew!
You knew what was going to happen!
You knew! So did you!
Kill himself?
I didn't know.
Well, that's the unfair thing.
I mean, well, lonely
and off on his own,
and...kill himself.
I'm going. I'm not stopping you!
DOORBELL RINGS
Hello, hello, hell...
SHE CHUCKLES
You're a bit mad, aren't you?
In the nicest possible way.
Yes. Can I come in?
Sure. Thanks.
Is Robin here?
Is he?
Oh. Oh, well.
Are we alone?
Yes. Mm, how exciting!
Well... What?
What are we going to do?
Hmm? I don't mind waiting for him,
but I like to be entertained.
I mean... He's dead.
What? Robin's dead.
No. Yes.
No! He's dead!
You shouldn't joke, you know? Look!
Here, he's dead. Robin - dead!
He killed himself with a knife,
here, on this bed.
He cut himself - his wrists,
his throat, and his throat...
SHE SOBS
With a knife, he tried...
The blood was up to there.
On the wall, up to there.
Blood!
He is dead!
Yes? Yes.
Not a lot of point in waiting,
is there? Peter...
SHE TRIES TO SHOUT
Not here!
Not here.
No.
LAUGHTER
LAUGHTER GETS LOUDER
LAUGHTER FADES
Peter?
Peter, where are you? In here.
Look. What?
That.
Is it a map?
No. What about that?
It's a sort of plant, isn't it?
All in pieces.
Yes.
What do you want now?
Hey, take it easy!
My goodness!